Conceptions of Love at Three Developmental Levels

Author(s): David H. Knox, Jr.

Source: The Family Coordinator, Vol. 19, No. 2 (Apr., 1970), pp. 151-157
Published by: National Council on Family Relations
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Conceptionsof Love at Three Developmental
Levels*
DAVID H. KNOX, JR.*

A scale developed by Knox in 1967 was modified and administered to 100 high
school seniors, 100 persons married less than five years, and 100 persons married
more than 20 years. For consistency of reporting, all of the respondentswere white
and middle-class. A romantic conception of love was found among the high school
seniors and those married more than twenty years, whereas a realistic conception of
love was indicated by those married less than five years. Speculative interpretations
were suggested for the various love conceptions at the respective developmental
levels.

Introduction and Purpose (1966) contended that the routine of mar-

Love is an experience which most have
had or expect to have. Indeed, American
culture teaches that, "Love is the greatest
thing." It is an experience to be sought,
and when achieved, to be cherished. Teach-
ers and counselors are particularly aware
of the importance of love in the lives of
their students and clients.
Research regarding conceptions of love
is lacking. Many writers offer plausible
opinions and contentions regarding love at-
titudes but provide little empirical data. A
number of writers have indicated that one's
concept of love changes over time. In refer-
ence to adolescence, Wattenburg (1955)
noted that romance is the most important
drama in living, and Kirpatrick (1955) in-
dicated that adolescents fully expect to fall
in love. Biegel (1951) and Winch (1952)
indicated that adolescent love is romantic
love. Referring to marriage, Womble
* Paper based on author's doctoral dissertation,
Florida State University, August, 1969. The data
were collected and analyzed during February and
March, 1969. The author wishes to express appre-
ciation to Dr. James W. Croake, major professor,
and the members of his supervisory committee,
Drs. James C. Walters, Leland J. Axelson, John
T. Greene, and Edwin R. Hartz, for their most
helpful suggestions and criticisms throughout the
course of this investigation.
** David H. Knox, Jr., Ph.D., is Assistant Pro-
fessor of Sociology, East Carolina University,
Greenville, North Carolina 28734.
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
riage rules the family and rules out ro-
mance. In addition, Ellis (1954) hypothe-
sized that romanticlove does not survive the
lover's aging process, and Bell (1967)
stated that new values are developed in the
marital relationship to replace romantic il-
lusions. In view of the personal impor-
tance of love and of these assertions con-
cerning the changing concept of love over
time, this study was undertaken in an at-
tempt to ascertain the respective concep-
tions of love among middle-class whites at
three developmental levels: late adoles-
cence, the early years of marriage (0-5
years), and the later years of marriage
(more than 20 years).
Methodology
Sample
The late adolescent sample consisted of
50 senior male and 50 senior female stu-
dents drawn from the Leon County High
School in Tallahassee, Florida. Criteria for
the selection of the subjects were as fol-
lows: (1) white, (2) between the ages of
17 and 19, (3) reared in the United States,
(4) unmarried, (5) full-time student, and
(6) middle-class.
The young adult sample consisted of 50
couples drawn from the married students
of the Florida State University who met the
following criteria: (1) white, (2) reared
151
in the United States, (3) married less than
five years, and (4) middle-class.
The older adult sample consisted of 50
couples who were parents of students at the
Florida State University and who met the
following criteria: (1) white, (2) reared
in the United States, (3) married more
than 20 years, and (4) middle-class. The
McGuire-White Index of Social Status-
Short Form (1955) was utilized to ascer-
tain social class.
Modification of the Instrument
In 1967 Knox constructed an 84 item
scale which was validated by 10 profession-
als in the field of marriage and the family.
Love was viewed as ranging on a continuum
from extreme romanticism (there is only
one love; true love is eternal) to extreme
realism, the latter referred to as conjugal
love. The scale was administeredto the re-
spective samples indicated above and an
item analysis was conducted to determine
those items which differentiated between
high and low scorers.'
Analysis of the Data
Two statistical tests were used in this
study. The t-test was used to determine the
significance of the differences in concep-
tions of love between the high school sen-
iors and the young marrieds; the young
marrieds and the older marrieds; and the
high school seniors and the older marrieds.
Analysis of variance was used to ascertain
significant differences across groups. Only
those items (11) common to the respective
groups were used when comparing across
groups.
Four hypotheses were postulated in
order to determine significant relationships
regarding conceptions of love at the three
developmental levels. The material is pre-
sented as follows: the hypothesis is stated;
if rejected, a table of significant findings is
l For groups I, II, and III, 27, 29, and 31 items
were, respectively, significant at the .01 level.
Internal reliability of the items was ascertained
by the split-half method. The Spearman-Brown
reliability coefficients for the items common to
the groups compared in the four hypotheses
to follow were, respectively, .86, .87, .86, and
.82.
152 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
presented; and a written description of the
table is accompanied by an interpretation
of the results.
Hypothesis I. No significant relationship
exists between conceptions of love of high
school seniors and persons married less
than five years.
TABLE 1. DIFFERENCES IN MEAN SCORES
ON CONCEPTIONSOF LOVE SCALE OF
HIGH SCHOOLSENIORS AND PERSONS
MARRIED LESS THAN FIVE YEARS
Group Sample Mean Standard I-Value
Size Deviation
High school
seniors 100 45.64 11.68 3.20
Personsmarried
underfive
years 100 50.54 9.91 p<.001
This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
level of significance.
It should be kept in mind, that the lower
the score, the more "romantic" and the
higher the score, the more "realistic." The
data in Table 1 indicate that high school
seniors tend to be more romantic in their
conception of love than persons who have
been married less than five years. Con-
versely, young married adults view love
more realistically than high school seniors.
It is particularly interesting to note that the
scores of the high school seniors fall on the
left (low scorers) side of the mid-point of
the romantic-realistic continuum and per-
sons married less than five years fall on the
right (high scorers) side of this dichot-
omy. (This is clear when it is realized that
the mid-point of the 16 items common to
groups I and II is 48.) Hence, it seems that
there is a clear "romantic" orientation on
the part of high school seniors and a clear
"realistic or conjugal" orientation on the
part of the young married adults.
It has already been indicated that the lit-
erature is replete with the notion that ado-
lescent love is "romantic" love. Writers
seem to imply that love before marriage is,
by definition, romantic love. Hence, to be
an adolescent and to be in love is to be ro-
mantically in love.
April 1970
 Speculative reasons why adolescentstend
to be romantically inclined in their concep-
tion of love include:
A. Greater exposure to romantic theme.
-If it is assumed that one movie, one
novel, and one hour of popular music, re-
spectively, represents one unit of exposure
to the romantic theme which permeatesthe
mass media, (Ellis, 1954; Bernard, 1956;
Landis and Landis, 1963; Burgess, Wallin
and Schultz, 1953) high school seniors evi-
denced 163 more exposure units per month
to the romantic theme than did the young
married adults (726-563 = 163). As a re-
sult of greater contact with mass media
(presumably romantic in theme ) a greater
romantic orientation may result.
This interpretation may be particularly
true in that the greater discrepancy in ex-
posure to mass media was in the area of
popular music. Popular music may be the
main source of romantic orientation to-
ward love exhibited by adolescents. Horton
(1957) studied 290 lyrics in four popular
periodicals and found that 83.4 percent
were conversational songs about love. He
hypothesized that these popular songs pro-
vide a conventional language for use in
dating and courtship. Today popular music
may still carry the romantic theme as indi-
cated by such songs as "What the World
Needs Now," "Going Out of My Head,"
"Little Green Apples," and "The Look of
Love."
The explanation for increased romanti-
cism on the part of adolescents must be
viewed as tentative in that there was no
control group of adolescents who did not
have a considerable exposure to mass
media.
B. Lack of commitment.-Five adoles-
cent respondents in this study indicated
that they were engaged to be married. Fur-
thermore, Heiss (1960) studied 1000 high
school students and observed that 80 per-
cent of the girls and 90 percent of the boys
had not committed themselves to marriage.
Since commitment involves responsibility,
it may be that the adolescent operates in a
dream world devoid of the practical realis-
tic responsibilities of housing, insurance,
food costs, etc., encountered by the young
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
marrieds. Hence, the adolescent is on the
periphery of the responsibilities of marital
living but is not involved in them.
Knox observed (reported by Knox and
Sporakowski, 1968) in his college sample
that engaged males tended to be more real-
istic in conception of love than non-en-
gaged males. Hence, the adolescent may be
more romantic as a result of not having the
responsibilities of the younger adult mar-
ried group.
C. Worldly wise.-As the adolescent
grows out of his teens, he engages in more
reality testing for himself which may result
in the modification of earlier views. The
adolescent may come to believe that, per-
haps, love does not "conquer all." The cru-
cial factors involved in the modification of
the adolescent's conception of love would
appear to be those of age and education.
Increased age is crucial in that it forces
the adolescent into new roles with new be-
havioral expectations. Hence, the starry
eyes of an adolescent may dim with the
stark realization that marriage entails re-
sponsibilities. The young married adults,
by definition of their roles as man and
wife, are confronted with the responsibili-
ties of meeting,bills and operating a house-
hold.
Regarding the importance of education
in shaping beliefs, Knox found that more
education was associated with a conjugal
or realistic conception of love. The present
results are consistent with the earlier find-
ings. Furthermore,males in the senior and
young married sample were more romantic
(although not significantly) than females.
Again, this is consistent with previous find-
ings. (Knox and Sporakowski,1968)
Hypothesis II. No significant relationship
exists between conceptions of love of per-
sons married less than five years and per-
sons married more than twenty years.
This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
level of significance. Contraryto all expec-
tations, the data in Table 2 clearly indicate
that persons who have been married less
than five years have a more realistic or
conjugal conception of love than do those
persons who have been married more than
153
TABLE 2. DIFFERENCESIN MEAN SCORES
ON CONCEPTIONS OF LOVE SCALE OF
PERSONS MARRIED LESS THAN FIVE
YEARS AND PERSONS MARRIED
MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS
Group Sample
Size
Mean Standard I-Value
Deviation
Persons married
under five
years 100 66.39 12.04 4.70
Persons married
over twenty
years 100 57.79 13.08 p<.001
twenty years. Likewise, those who have
been married more than twenty years are
more romantic in conception of love. It
should be kept in mind that the love scores
of the young marrieds fall on the right side
of the mid-point of the romantic-realistic
continuum and the love scores of the older
marrieds fall on the left side of the mid-
point of the continuum. (For the 20 items
common to groups II and III, 60 is the
mid-point between the lowest score, 20, and
the highest score, 100.) This indicates that
the young marrieds reflect a clear orienta-
tion to realism as compared with the ro-
mantic orientation of the older married
group.
The contentions of Goode (1959), Ber-
nard (1956), Cavan (1963), and Stroup
(1966) that conjugal love is synonymous
with married love are unsupported by these
data. Perhaps, most researchers have as-
signed a realistic or conjugal conception of
love to married persons without specifying
the actual stage of the marriage and with-
out considering that married love may
change in orientation across the years.
Speculative interpretations as to the pres-
ence of romanticism in the later years in-
clude:
A. Cognitive dissonance.-Festinger
(1962) noted that the existence of disso-
nance (non-fitting relationships, inconsis-
tencies in cognitions) is accompanied by
an attempt on the part of the individual to
reduce the dissonance, thus producing con-
sonance (fitting the relationships, consis-
tency or harmony among cognitions).
In keeping with this theory, those who
154 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
have been married and have lived together
for 20 years may be expected to adopt atti-
tudes consistent with such investment of
their time, energies, etc. To think that there
is only one with whom one can really fall
in love and marry is cognitively consonant
with having done so.
B. Romantic marriage.-Since it is quite
possible for a man and a woman to live to-
gether in a union resulting in more satis-
faction and joy than either might achieve
independently, it would not be unrealistic
to assume that the older adult couples of
this sample tend to have romantic relation-
ships as indicated by their conceptions of
love. Perhaps, since these couples had the
option of participating in the study, it is
likely that only those couples who had "sta-
ble" marriages chose to participate. As an
example of this, one student, when asked to
mail a request to her parents soliciting
their aid in the study, was overheard re-
marking, "Mom and Dad wouldn't fill this
thing out. Their marriage is too much of a
wreck."
In addition, using Item 15 (Indicate de-
gree of satisfaction or dissatisfaction in
your relationship with your spouse) of the
Nye-MacDougall Marital Adjustment In-
ventory as an index of a favorable relation-
ship, 88 percent of those married more
than 20 years indicated they were "gener-
ally" or "entirely" satisfied in the relation-
ship with their spouse, nine percent indi-
cated they were "fairly well satisfied" and
only three percent indicated they were "dis-
satisfied." It seems reasonable to assume
that the respondentsof the older adult mar-
ried group were involved in very favorable
-perhaps romantic-relationships which
reflected a romantic conception of love.2
C. Selective Remembering.-Axelson, in
his research on the post parental period,
noted ". . . various writers believe that a
good deal of frustration and dissatisfaction
with life in general is typical of this pe-
riod." (1960, p. 66) Although it is not
thatonlythoseparentswhocon-
2 It is possible
sidered"love"a meaningfulaspectof their re-
lationship responded. Complete research method-
ology will be furnished by the author upon re-
quest.
April 1970
known if those parents in the older married
group had children living at home, the ad-
justments characteristic of this time period
may have been true of this sample. For
women, the major adjustments are related
to the absence of their off-spring coupled
with the cessation of their ability to create
children. (Levy and Munroe, 1938; Waller
and Hill, 1951)
Men, on the other hand, may be experi-
encing the realization that they may never
reap the material and status successes they
had anticipated in earlier years. In addi-
tion, these men may be aware that their en-
ergies and sexual potency are diminishing.
In view of these processes seemingly occur-
ring (it is recognized that Axelson's find-
ings were not consistent with some of these
assertions) in men and women in the later
years of marriage, it is likely that each
may perceive the past somewhat selec-
tively, high-lighting earlier events in a
more favorable, exciting, perhaps romantic
vein. Hence, there may be a resurgence of
romantic feeling and thinking which may
serve to mask the reality of the postparen-
tal period. Furthermore,it should be noted
that among the older married group, fe-
males were more romantic than males. This
finding may be related to this period being
more difficult for the female than for the
male who still maintains his primary role
as provider. (Waller and Hill, 1951)
Hypothesis III. No significant relationship
exists between conceptions of love of high
school seniors and persons married more
than twenty years. This hypothesis was not
rejected since the respective means for the
two groups were quite similar. This finding
indicates a romantic conception of love is
common to both high school seniors and
persons marriedmore than 20 years. The in-
terpretationof this non-significantrelation-
ship is discussed below in the three group
comparison.
Hypothesis lV. No significant relationship ing.
exists between conceptions of love at three
developmental levels: High school seniors, able debate on the widsom of American so-
persons married less than five and more ciety in socializing its offspring to regard
than twenty years. romantic love as a necessary prelude to
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
TABLE 3. DIFFERENCES IN MEAN SCORES
ON CONCEPTIONSOF LOVE SCALE OF
HIGH SCHOOLSENIORS, PERSONS MAR-
RIED LESS THAN FIVE YEARS, AND
PERSONS MARRIED MORE
THAN TWENTY YEARS
Group Sample
Size
Mean Standard t-Value
Deviation
High school
seniors 100 38.95 10.06
Persons married
under five
years 100 43.06 8.93 10.59
Personsmarried
over twenty
years 100 37.01 9.94 p<.001
This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
level of significance. In view of the out-
comes of Hypotheses I, II, and III, the data
in Table 3 merely reconfirm the findings
that high school seniors and persons mar-
ried more than 20 years seem to have a
more romantic conception of love than the
young marrieds. In contrast, persons who
have been married less than five years re-
flect a more realistic or conjugal concep-
tion of love. (Since the mid-point of the 11
items used in comparing the three groups
is 33, it should be kept in mind that al-
though the high school seniors and the
older adult married group are more ro-
mantic than the young marrieds, all three
groups are more realistic than romantic.)
The explanation for the romanticism
among seniors and persons married more
than 20 years has suggested that different
reasons account for the same phenomena.
Whereas a romantic orientation may be
characteristicof adolescents for reasons re-
lated to exposure to mass media, commit-
ment to a significant other, age and educa-
tion; romanticism among the older adults
in this sample may be more related to cog-
nitive dissonance, the presence of romance
in their marriage, and selective remember-
The literature on love reflects consider-
155
 marriage. Duvall (1960), Linton (1936),
and DeRougemont (1948) are representa-
tive of those who have indicated the malig-
nant consequences of romantic love. Duvall
noted that, "Romance is poor preparation
for marriage and is not to be trusted to
provide more than a few thrills. It is not
love enough to marry." (1960, p. 26) Lin-
ton observed that America ". . . is practi-
cally the only culture which has attempted
to emphasize violent emotional attachments
and to make them the prelude to mar-
riage." (1936, p. 175) Furthermore, De-
Rougemont said in his classic and scathing
statement on romantic love, "Of all the pos-
sible motives for marriage such as equal
social level or education, suitability of tem-
perment, background, religious preference,
age, etc., love is the most unstable and
ephemeral and yet is heralded as the most
important motive." (1948, p. 10)
These writers seem to imply that roman-
tic love is unique to the period before mar-
riage and is destroyed by marriage if the
marriage survives. In contrast, the present
study has indicated that: (1) Conceptions
of love do change at different stages in
marriage; and (2) a more romantic con-
ception of love (as compared with earlier
stages) does occur in the later years of
marriage; and hence, is not incompatible
with marriage. In regard to this second
point, Folsom (1948) observed that the ro-
mantic feeling of love is not destroyed by
marriage, but is reduced in frequency and
duration since the focus, attention of the
lovers, must be given to other phenomena.
He indicated that if the same experiences
of courtship are duplicated (absences, de-
partures, arrivals) the romantic feeling,
still present, will become more intense.
Conclusion
This study was an attempt to ascertain
conceptions of love at three developmental
levels. Findings indicated that a romantic
conception of love tends to be indicative of
late adolescence and the later years of
marriage as compared with the early years
of marriage.
The data suggest the importance of fam-
ily life education for high school students
156 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR
as a step in the direction of reality but not
necessarily at the expense of destroying the
romance anticipated in marriage. On the
contrary, adolescents could become more
hopeful in recognizing that there are early
difficultyears and later rewardingones, but
that the progression is not automatic. In
addition, young married adults who have
experienced the change from moonlight
and roses to daylight and dishes, may
hopefully anticipate another more positive
alteration in their feelings and behave in
ways appropriate to those ends. Presum-
ably, family life educators and counselors
may play a crucial role in ascertainingthat
these ends are achieved.
REFERENCES:
Axelson, L. J. Personal Adjustment in the Post
Parental Period. Marriage and Family Living,
1960, 22, 66-68.
Beigel, H. G. Romantic Love. American Sociologi-
cal Review, 1951, 16, 326-334.
Bell, R. R. Marriage and Family Interaction.
Homewood, Illinois: Dorsey Press, 1967.
Bernard, J. Remarriage. New York: Dryden Press,
1956.
Burgess, E. W., P. Wallin, and G. D. Schultz.
Courtship, Engagement and Marriage. New
York: Lippincott, 1953.
Cavan, R. S. The American Family. New York:
Thomas Y. Crowell, 1963.
Duvall, E. M. Being Married. New York: Associa-
tion Press, 1960.
DeRougemont, D. The Romantic Route to Di-
vorce. Saturday Review of Literature. 1948. 31,
9-10.
Ellis, A. The American Sexual Tragedy. New
York: Twayne, 1954.
Festinger, L. A Theory of Cognative Dissonance.
Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1962.
Folsom, J. K. Love and Courtship. In Reuben Hill
and Howard Becker (Eds.) Marriage and the
Family. Boston: D. C. Heath and Co., 1948.
Goode, W. J. The Theoretical Importance of Love.
American Sociological Review, 1959, 24, 38-41.
Heiss, J. S. Variations in Courtship Progress
Among High School Students. Marriage and
Family Living, 1960, 22, 165-170.
Horton, D. The Dialogue of Courtship in Popular
Songs. American Journal of Sociology, 1957,
62, 569-578.
Kirkpatrick, C. The Family As Process and Insti-
tution. New York: Ronald Press, 1955.
Knox, D. H., Jr., and M. J. Sporakowski. Atti-
tudes of College Students Toward Love. Journal
of Marriage and the Family, 1968, 30, 638-642.
Landis, J. T. and M. G. Landis. Building a Suc-
cessful Marriage. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Pren-
tice-HalL 1963.
April 1970
Linton, R. The Study of Man. New York: Apple.
ton-Century-Crofts, 1936.
Levy, J. and R. Munroe.The Happy Family. New
York: Knopf,1938.
McGuire,C. and G. D. White. The Measurement
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ucationalPsychology,Universityof Texas, 1955.
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Waller, W. and R. Hill. The Family: A Dynamic
The LegislativeStatusof Sex and Birth Control
Educationin the United States
A review of the literature on sex educa-
tion revealed that no summary existed of
the legislative status of sex and birth con-
trol education in the United States. Conse-
quently, the author conducted a survey by
mail questionnaires to directors of health
and physical education and recreation or to
directors of health education in the state
boards of education in the 50 states, four
territories, and the District of Columbia in
order to ascertain the current status of
such education.' To verify for completeness
and accuracy, a random check including a
search through the appropriatestatutes was
made of ten returns. In all ten cases there
was agreement between the return and the
statutes for that state or territory. Two
states, Massachusetts and Tennessee, and
one territory, the Virgin Islands, did not
reply. Status in those three cases was deter-
mined by a search of the annotated stat-
utes. The survey results first appeared in a
larger unpublished paper by the author in
August, 1968, and subsequently were up-
dated to June, 1969.
** Currentlyemployed as a regional coordina-
tor in Santa Monica, California,and residing at
1335 Cedar Street, Santa Monica. Intern, Center
for PopulationPlanning, Universityof Michigan,
1968-69.
'A sample of the coverletter and questionnaire
used in the surveywill be furnishedby the author
upon recuest.
April 1970 THE FAMILYCOORDINATOR
Interpretation (Revised edition). New York:
Holt, Rinehartand Winston,1951.
Wattenburg, W. W. The Adolescent Years. New
York: Harcourt,Braceand World,1955.
White, L A. The Science of Culture. New York:
Farrar,Strausand Co., 1949.
Winch, R. F. The Modern Family. New York:
HenryHolt, 1952.
Womble, D. L. Foundations for Marriage and
Family Relations. New York: The Macmillan
Co., 1966.
LAmY S. RODICK**
Probably the most significant finding of
the survey was that most states had no law
either authorizing or prohibiting the teach-
ing of sex or birth control education in
their schools. In 48 states and territories
nothing was said either favoring or prohib-
iting sex education. In fully 54 cases there
was no statute regarding birth control edu-
cation in the schools.
Six states and the District of Columbia
had laws or regulations favoring or at least
authorizing the inclusion of sex education
in the schools. These include Illinois (Act
passed in 1965); Maryland (By-Law of the
state board of education, passed in 1967);
Michigan (Act passed in 1968); Oregon
(Act passed in 1945); Utah (Though not
specifically referred to, at least one form of
sex education seems to be implied in an ar-
ticle that requires the teaching of physiol-
ogy and hygiene in the elementaryschools.
See section 53-2-26 of the Annotated Stat-
utes, State of Utah); and Wisconsin (A
1968 Act, similar to the case of Utah. See
sections 118.01, 2 and 5, in Annotated Stat-
utes, State of Wisconsin.).
An interesting feature of the survey was
the informal support of sex education by
the state boards of education in at least
thirteen states and two territories. State
boards of education have indicated support
through the provision of curriculum
guides, by conducting sex education work-
157