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Conceptions of Love at Three Developmental Levels

Author(s): David H. Knox, Jr.


Source: The Family Coordinator, Vol. 19, No. 2 (Apr., 1970), pp. 151-157
Published by: National Council on Family Relations
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/582445 .
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Conceptionsof Love at Three Developmental
Levels*
DAVID H. KNOX, JR.*

A scale developed by Knox in 1967 was modified and administered to 100 high
school seniors, 100 persons married less than five years, and 100 persons married
more than 20 years. For consistency of reporting, all of the respondentswere white
and middle-class. A romantic conception of love was found among the high school
seniors and those married more than twenty years, whereas a realistic conception of
love was indicated by those married less than five years. Speculative interpretations
were suggested for the various love conceptions at the respective developmental
levels.

Introduction and Purpose (1966) contended that the routine of mar-


Love is an experience which most have riage rules the family and rules out ro-
had or expect to have. Indeed, American mance. In addition, Ellis (1954) hypothe-
culture teaches that, "Love is the greatest sized that romanticlove does not survive the
thing." It is an experience to be sought, lover's aging process, and Bell (1967)
and when achieved, to be cherished. Teach- stated that new values are developed in the
ers and counselors are particularly aware marital relationship to replace romantic il-
of the importance of love in the lives of lusions. In view of the personal impor-
their students and clients. tance of love and of these assertions con-
Research regarding conceptions of love cerning the changing concept of love over
is lacking. Many writers offer plausible time, this study was undertaken in an at-
opinions and contentions regarding love at- tempt to ascertain the respective concep-
titudes but provide little empirical data. A tions of love among middle-class whites at
number of writers have indicated that one's three developmental levels: late adoles-
concept of love changes over time. In refer- cence, the early years of marriage (0-5
ence to adolescence, Wattenburg (1955) years), and the later years of marriage
noted that romance is the most important (more than 20 years).
drama in living, and Kirpatrick (1955) in-
dicated that adolescents fully expect to fall Methodology
in love. Biegel (1951) and Winch (1952) Sample
indicated that adolescent love is romantic The late adolescent sample consisted of
love. Referring to marriage, Womble 50 senior male and 50 senior female stu-
* Paper based on author's doctoral dissertation, dents drawn from the Leon County High
Florida State University, August, 1969. The data School in Tallahassee, Florida. Criteria for
were collected and analyzed during February and the selection of the subjects were as fol-
March, 1969. The author wishes to express appre- lows: (1) white, (2) between the ages of
ciation to Dr. James W. Croake, major professor,
and the members of his supervisory committee,
17 and 19, (3) reared in the United States,
Drs. James C. Walters, Leland J. Axelson, John (4) unmarried, (5) full-time student, and
T. Greene, and Edwin R. Hartz, for their most (6) middle-class.
helpful suggestions and criticisms throughout the The young adult sample consisted of 50
course of this investigation.
** David H. Knox, Jr., Ph.D., is Assistant Pro-
couples drawn from the married students
fessor of Sociology, East Carolina University, of the Florida State University who met the
Greenville, North Carolina 28734. following criteria: (1) white, (2) reared
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR 151
in the United States, (3) married less than presented; and a written description of the
five years, and (4) middle-class. table is accompanied by an interpretation
The older adult sample consisted of 50 of the results.
couples who were parents of students at the
Florida State University and who met the Hypothesis I. No significant relationship
following criteria: (1) white, (2) reared exists between conceptions of love of high
in the United States, (3) married more school seniors and persons married less
than 20 years, and (4) middle-class. The than five years.
McGuire-White Index of Social Status-
Short Form (1955) was utilized to ascer- TABLE 1. DIFFERENCES IN MEAN SCORES
ON CONCEPTIONSOF LOVE SCALE OF
tain social class. HIGH SCHOOLSENIORS AND PERSONS
MARRIED LESS THAN FIVE YEARS
Modification of the Instrument
In 1967 Knox constructed an 84 item Group Sample Mean Standard I-Value
Size Deviation
scale which was validated by 10 profession-
als in the field of marriage and the family. High school
Love was viewed as ranging on a continuum seniors 100 45.64 11.68 3.20
from extreme romanticism (there is only
Personsmarried
one love; true love is eternal) to extreme underfive
realism, the latter referred to as conjugal years 100 50.54 9.91 p<.001
love. The scale was administeredto the re-
spective samples indicated above and an This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
item analysis was conducted to determine level of significance.
those items which differentiated between It should be kept in mind, that the lower
high and low scorers.' the score, the more "romantic" and the
higher the score, the more "realistic." The
Analysis of the Data
data in Table 1 indicate that high school
Two statistical tests were used in this seniors tend to be more romantic in their
study. The t-test was used to determine the conception of love than persons who have
significance of the differences in concep- been married less than five years. Con-
tions of love between the high school sen- versely, young married adults view love
iors and the young marrieds; the young more realistically than high school seniors.
marrieds and the older marrieds; and the It is particularly interesting to note that the
high school seniors and the older marrieds. scores of the high school seniors fall on the
Analysis of variance was used to ascertain left (low scorers) side of the mid-point of
significant differences across groups. Only the romantic-realistic continuum and per-
those items (11) common to the respective sons married less than five years fall on the
groups were used when comparing across right (high scorers) side of this dichot-
groups. omy. (This is clear when it is realized that
Four hypotheses were postulated in the mid-point of the 16 items common to
order to determine significant relationships groups I and II is 48.) Hence, it seems that
regarding conceptions of love at the three there is a clear "romantic" orientation on
developmental levels. The material is pre- the part of high school seniors and a clear
sented as follows: the hypothesis is stated; "realistic or conjugal" orientation on the
if rejected, a table of significant findings is part of the young married adults.
l For groups I, II, and III, 27, 29, and 31 items It has already been indicated that the lit-
were, respectively, significant at the .01 level. erature is replete with the notion that ado-
Internal reliability of the items was ascertained lescent love is "romantic" love. Writers
by the split-half method. The Spearman-Brown seem to imply that love before marriage is,
reliability coefficients for the items common to
the groups compared in the four hypotheses
by definition, romantic love. Hence, to be
to follow were, respectively, .86, .87, .86, and an adolescent and to be in love is to be ro-
.82. mantically in love.
152 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR April 1970
Speculative reasons why adolescentstend marrieds. Hence, the adolescent is on the
to be romantically inclined in their concep- periphery of the responsibilities of marital
tion of love include: living but is not involved in them.
A. Greater exposure to romantic theme. Knox observed (reported by Knox and
-If it is assumed that one movie, one Sporakowski, 1968) in his college sample
novel, and one hour of popular music, re- that engaged males tended to be more real-
spectively, represents one unit of exposure istic in conception of love than non-en-
to the romantic theme which permeatesthe gaged males. Hence, the adolescent may be
mass media, (Ellis, 1954; Bernard, 1956; more romantic as a result of not having the
Landis and Landis, 1963; Burgess, Wallin responsibilities of the younger adult mar-
and Schultz, 1953) high school seniors evi- ried group.
denced 163 more exposure units per month C. Worldly wise.-As the adolescent
to the romantic theme than did the young grows out of his teens, he engages in more
married adults (726-563 = 163). As a re- reality testing for himself which may result
sult of greater contact with mass media in the modification of earlier views. The
(presumably romantic in theme ) a greater adolescent may come to believe that, per-
romantic orientation may result. haps, love does not "conquer all." The cru-
This interpretation may be particularly cial factors involved in the modification of
true in that the greater discrepancy in ex- the adolescent's conception of love would
posure to mass media was in the area of appear to be those of age and education.
popular music. Popular music may be the Increased age is crucial in that it forces
main source of romantic orientation to- the adolescent into new roles with new be-
ward love exhibited by adolescents. Horton havioral expectations. Hence, the starry
(1957) studied 290 lyrics in four popular eyes of an adolescent may dim with the
periodicals and found that 83.4 percent stark realization that marriage entails re-
were conversational songs about love. He sponsibilities. The young married adults,
hypothesized that these popular songs pro- by definition of their roles as man and
vide a conventional language for use in wife, are confronted with the responsibili-
dating and courtship. Today popular music ties of meeting,bills and operating a house-
may still carry the romantic theme as indi- hold.
cated by such songs as "What the World Regarding the importance of education
Needs Now," "Going Out of My Head," in shaping beliefs, Knox found that more
"Little Green Apples," and "The Look of education was associated with a conjugal
Love." or realistic conception of love. The present
The explanation for increased romanti- results are consistent with the earlier find-
cism on the part of adolescents must be ings. Furthermore,males in the senior and
viewed as tentative in that there was no young married sample were more romantic
control group of adolescents who did not (although not significantly) than females.
have a considerable exposure to mass Again, this is consistent with previous find-
media. ings. (Knox and Sporakowski,1968)
B. Lack of commitment.-Five adoles-
cent respondents in this study indicated Hypothesis II. No significant relationship
that they were engaged to be married. Fur- exists between conceptions of love of per-
thermore, Heiss (1960) studied 1000 high sons married less than five years and per-
school students and observed that 80 per- sons married more than twenty years.
cent of the girls and 90 percent of the boys This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
had not committed themselves to marriage. level of significance. Contraryto all expec-
Since commitment involves responsibility, tations, the data in Table 2 clearly indicate
it may be that the adolescent operates in a that persons who have been married less
dream world devoid of the practical realis- than five years have a more realistic or
tic responsibilities of housing, insurance, conjugal conception of love than do those
food costs, etc., encountered by the young persons who have been married more than
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR 153
TABLE 2. DIFFERENCESIN MEAN SCORES have been married and have lived together
ON CONCEPTIONS OF LOVE SCALE OF for 20 years may be expected to adopt atti-
PERSONS MARRIED LESS THAN FIVE
YEARS AND PERSONS MARRIED
tudes consistent with such investment of
MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS their time, energies, etc. To think that there
is only one with whom one can really fall
Group Sample
Size
Mean Standard I-Value
Deviation
in love and marry is cognitively consonant
with having done so.
Persons married B. Romantic marriage.-Since it is quite
under five possible for a man and a woman to live to-
years 100 66.39 12.04 4.70
gether in a union resulting in more satis-
Persons married faction and joy than either might achieve
over twenty independently, it would not be unrealistic
years 100 57.79 13.08 p<.001 to assume that the older adult couples of
this sample tend to have romantic relation-
twenty years. Likewise, those who have ships as indicated by their conceptions of
been married more than twenty years are love. Perhaps, since these couples had the
more romantic in conception of love. It option of participating in the study, it is
should be kept in mind that the love scores likely that only those couples who had "sta-
of the young marrieds fall on the right side ble" marriages chose to participate. As an
of the mid-point of the romantic-realistic example of this, one student, when asked to
continuum and the love scores of the older mail a request to her parents soliciting
marrieds fall on the left side of the mid- their aid in the study, was overheard re-
point of the continuum. (For the 20 items marking, "Mom and Dad wouldn't fill this
common to groups II and III, 60 is the thing out. Their marriage is too much of a
mid-point between the lowest score, 20, and wreck."
the highest score, 100.) This indicates that In addition, using Item 15 (Indicate de-
the young marrieds reflect a clear orienta- gree of satisfaction or dissatisfaction in
tion to realism as compared with the ro- your relationship with your spouse) of the
mantic orientation of the older married Nye-MacDougall Marital Adjustment In-
group. ventory as an index of a favorable relation-
The contentions of Goode (1959), Ber- ship, 88 percent of those married more
nard (1956), Cavan (1963), and Stroup than 20 years indicated they were "gener-
(1966) that conjugal love is synonymous ally" or "entirely" satisfied in the relation-
with married love are unsupported by these ship with their spouse, nine percent indi-
data. Perhaps, most researchers have as- cated they were "fairly well satisfied" and
signed a realistic or conjugal conception of only three percent indicated they were "dis-
love to married persons without specifying satisfied." It seems reasonable to assume
the actual stage of the marriage and with- that the respondentsof the older adult mar-
out considering that married love may ried group were involved in very favorable
change in orientation across the years. -perhaps romantic-relationships which
Speculative interpretations as to the pres- reflected a romantic conception of love.2
ence of romanticism in the later years in- C. Selective Remembering.-Axelson, in
clude: his research on the post parental period,
A. Cognitive dissonance.-Festinger noted ". . . various writers believe that a
(1962) noted that the existence of disso- good deal of frustration and dissatisfaction
nance (non-fitting relationships, inconsis- with life in general is typical of this pe-
tencies in cognitions) is accompanied by riod." (1960, p. 66) Although it is not
an attempt on the part of the individual to
reduce the dissonance, thus producing con- thatonlythoseparentswhocon-
2 It is possible

sonance (fitting the relationships, consis- sidered"love"a meaningfulaspectof their re-


lationship responded. Complete research method-
tency or harmony among cognitions). ology will be furnished by the author upon re-
In keeping with this theory, those who quest.
154 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR April 1970
known if those parents in the older married TABLE 3. DIFFERENCES IN MEAN SCORES
group had children living at home, the ad- ON CONCEPTIONSOF LOVE SCALE OF
HIGH SCHOOLSENIORS, PERSONS MAR-
justments characteristic of this time period RIED LESS THAN FIVE YEARS, AND
may have been true of this sample. For PERSONS MARRIED MORE
women, the major adjustments are related THAN TWENTY YEARS
to the absence of their off-spring coupled
with the cessation of their ability to create Group Sample
Size
Mean Standard t-Value
Deviation
children. (Levy and Munroe, 1938; Waller
and Hill, 1951) High school
Men, on the other hand, may be experi- seniors 100 38.95 10.06
encing the realization that they may never Persons married
reap the material and status successes they under five
had anticipated in earlier years. In addi- years 100 43.06 8.93 10.59
tion, these men may be aware that their en-
Personsmarried
ergies and sexual potency are diminishing. over twenty
In view of these processes seemingly occur- years 100 37.01 9.94 p<.001
ring (it is recognized that Axelson's find-
ings were not consistent with some of these
assertions) in men and women in the later This hypothesis was rejected at the .001
years of marriage, it is likely that each level of significance. In view of the out-
may perceive the past somewhat selec- comes of Hypotheses I, II, and III, the data
tively, high-lighting earlier events in a in Table 3 merely reconfirm the findings
more favorable, exciting, perhaps romantic that high school seniors and persons mar-
vein. Hence, there may be a resurgence of ried more than 20 years seem to have a
romantic feeling and thinking which may more romantic conception of love than the
serve to mask the reality of the postparen- young marrieds. In contrast, persons who
tal period. Furthermore,it should be noted have been married less than five years re-
that among the older married group, fe- flect a more realistic or conjugal concep-
males were more romantic than males. This tion of love. (Since the mid-point of the 11
finding may be related to this period being items used in comparing the three groups
more difficult for the female than for the is 33, it should be kept in mind that al-
male who still maintains his primary role though the high school seniors and the
as provider. (Waller and Hill, 1951) older adult married group are more ro-
mantic than the young marrieds, all three
Hypothesis III. No significant relationship groups are more realistic than romantic.)
exists between conceptions of love of high The explanation for the romanticism
school seniors and persons married more among seniors and persons married more
than twenty years. This hypothesis was not than 20 years has suggested that different
rejected since the respective means for the reasons account for the same phenomena.
two groups were quite similar. This finding Whereas a romantic orientation may be
indicates a romantic conception of love is characteristicof adolescents for reasons re-
common to both high school seniors and lated to exposure to mass media, commit-
persons marriedmore than 20 years. The in- ment to a significant other, age and educa-
terpretationof this non-significantrelation- tion; romanticism among the older adults
ship is discussed below in the three group in this sample may be more related to cog-
comparison. nitive dissonance, the presence of romance
in their marriage, and selective remember-
Hypothesis lV. No significant relationship ing.
exists between conceptions of love at three The literature on love reflects consider-
developmental levels: High school seniors, able debate on the widsom of American so-
persons married less than five and more ciety in socializing its offspring to regard
than twenty years. romantic love as a necessary prelude to
April 1970 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR 155
marriage. Duvall (1960), Linton (1936), as a step in the direction of reality but not
and DeRougemont (1948) are representa- necessarily at the expense of destroying the
tive of those who have indicated the malig- romance anticipated in marriage. On the
nant consequences of romantic love. Duvall contrary, adolescents could become more
noted that, "Romance is poor preparation hopeful in recognizing that there are early
for marriage and is not to be trusted to difficultyears and later rewardingones, but
provide more than a few thrills. It is not that the progression is not automatic. In
love enough to marry." (1960, p. 26) Lin- addition, young married adults who have
ton observed that America ". . . is practi- experienced the change from moonlight
cally the only culture which has attempted and roses to daylight and dishes, may
to emphasize violent emotional attachments hopefully anticipate another more positive
and to make them the prelude to mar- alteration in their feelings and behave in
riage." (1936, p. 175) Furthermore, De- ways appropriate to those ends. Presum-
Rougemont said in his classic and scathing ably, family life educators and counselors
statement on romantic love, "Of all the pos- may play a crucial role in ascertainingthat
sible motives for marriage such as equal these ends are achieved.
social level or education, suitability of tem-
REFERENCES:
perment, background, religious preference,
age, etc., love is the most unstable and Axelson, L. J. Personal Adjustment in the Post
Parental Period. Marriage and Family Living,
ephemeral and yet is heralded as the most 1960, 22, 66-68.
important motive." (1948, p. 10) Beigel, H. G. Romantic Love. American Sociologi-
These writers seem to imply that roman- cal Review, 1951, 16, 326-334.
tic love is unique to the period before mar- Bell, R. R. Marriage and Family Interaction.
Homewood, Illinois: Dorsey Press, 1967.
riage and is destroyed by marriage if the Bernard, J. Remarriage. New York: Dryden Press,
marriage survives. In contrast, the present 1956.
study has indicated that: (1) Conceptions Burgess, E. W., P. Wallin, and G. D. Schultz.
of love do change at different stages in Courtship, Engagement and Marriage. New
marriage; and (2) a more romantic con- York: Lippincott, 1953.
Cavan, R. S. The American Family. New York:
ception of love (as compared with earlier Thomas Y. Crowell, 1963.
stages) does occur in the later years of Duvall, E. M. Being Married. New York: Associa-
marriage; and hence, is not incompatible tion Press, 1960.
with marriage. In regard to this second DeRougemont, D. The Romantic Route to Di-
vorce. Saturday Review of Literature. 1948. 31,
point, Folsom (1948) observed that the ro- 9-10.
mantic feeling of love is not destroyed by Ellis, A. The American Sexual Tragedy. New
marriage, but is reduced in frequency and York: Twayne, 1954.
duration since the focus, attention of the Festinger, L. A Theory of Cognative Dissonance.
Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1962.
lovers, must be given to other phenomena. Folsom, J. K. Love and Courtship. In Reuben Hill
He indicated that if the same experiences and Howard Becker (Eds.) Marriage and the
of courtship are duplicated (absences, de- Family. Boston: D. C. Heath and Co., 1948.
partures, arrivals) the romantic feeling, Goode, W. J. The Theoretical Importance of Love.
American Sociological Review, 1959, 24, 38-41.
still present, will become more intense. Heiss, J. S. Variations in Courtship Progress
Among High School Students. Marriage and
Conclusion Family Living, 1960, 22, 165-170.
This study was an attempt to ascertain Horton, D. The Dialogue of Courtship in Popular
conceptions of love at three developmental Songs. American Journal of Sociology, 1957,
62, 569-578.
levels. Findings indicated that a romantic Kirkpatrick, C. The Family As Process and Insti-
conception of love tends to be indicative of tution. New York: Ronald Press, 1955.
late adolescence and the later years of Knox, D. H., Jr., and M. J. Sporakowski. Atti-
marriage as compared with the early years tudes of College Students Toward Love. Journal
of Marriage and the Family, 1968, 30, 638-642.
of marriage. Landis, J. T. and M. G. Landis. Building a Suc-
The data suggest the importance of fam- cessful Marriage. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Pren-
ily life education for high school students tice-HalL 1963.

156 THE FAMILY COORDINATOR April 1970


Linton, R. The Study of Man. New York: Apple. Interpretation (Revised edition). New York:
ton-Century-Crofts, 1936. Holt, Rinehartand Winston,1951.
Levy, J. and R. Munroe.The Happy Family. New Wattenburg, W. W. The Adolescent Years. New
York: Knopf,1938. York: Harcourt,Braceand World,1955.
McGuire,C. and G. D. White. The Measurement White, L A. The Science of Culture. New York:
of Social Status. ResearchPaper in HumanDe- Farrar,Strausand Co., 1949.
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Waller, W. and R. Hill. The Family: A Dynamic

The LegislativeStatusof Sex and Birth Control


Educationin the United States
LAmY S. RODICK**

A review of the literature on sex educa- Probably the most significant finding of
tion revealed that no summary existed of the survey was that most states had no law
the legislative status of sex and birth con- either authorizing or prohibiting the teach-
trol education in the United States. Conse- ing of sex or birth control education in
quently, the author conducted a survey by their schools. In 48 states and territories
mail questionnaires to directors of health nothing was said either favoring or prohib-
and physical education and recreation or to iting sex education. In fully 54 cases there
directors of health education in the state was no statute regarding birth control edu-
boards of education in the 50 states, four cation in the schools.
territories, and the District of Columbia in Six states and the District of Columbia
order to ascertain the current status of had laws or regulations favoring or at least
such education.' To verify for completeness authorizing the inclusion of sex education
and accuracy, a random check including a in the schools. These include Illinois (Act
search through the appropriatestatutes was passed in 1965); Maryland (By-Law of the
made of ten returns. In all ten cases there state board of education, passed in 1967);
was agreement between the return and the Michigan (Act passed in 1968); Oregon
statutes for that state or territory. Two (Act passed in 1945); Utah (Though not
states, Massachusetts and Tennessee, and specifically referred to, at least one form of
one territory, the Virgin Islands, did not sex education seems to be implied in an ar-
reply. Status in those three cases was deter- ticle that requires the teaching of physiol-
mined by a search of the annotated stat- ogy and hygiene in the elementaryschools.
utes. The survey results first appeared in a See section 53-2-26 of the Annotated Stat-
larger unpublished paper by the author in utes, State of Utah); and Wisconsin (A
August, 1968, and subsequently were up- 1968 Act, similar to the case of Utah. See
dated to June, 1969. sections 118.01, 2 and 5, in Annotated Stat-
utes, State of Wisconsin.).
** Currentlyemployed as a regional coordina- An interesting feature of the survey was
tor in Santa Monica, California,and residing at the informal support of sex education by
1335 Cedar Street, Santa Monica. Intern, Center the state boards of education in at least
for PopulationPlanning, Universityof Michigan, thirteen states and two territories. State
1968-69. boards of education have indicated support
'A sample of the coverletter and questionnaire
used in the surveywill be furnishedby the author through the provision of curriculum
upon recuest. guides, by conducting sex education work-
April 1970 THE FAMILYCOORDINATOR 157

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