Love In Islam

The concept of love has intrigued mankind since our very creation. Stories
of love have been found in all societies, past and present. It‟s found in
poetry and literature (Shakespeare, H. D. Lawrence), in pop culture (songs,
movies, operas).

The love for our parents is one of the first emotions we feel. Throughout
our lives we love countless things. But if you ask a group of people what
love is, they‟ll all have a different answer. History is full of Literature and
anecdotes explaining and describing love. In truth, the definitions of love
are exhaustive. Everyone has a different explanation of love, because
there really is no one definition for it.

There are many different types of love. The love for one‟s Mother and
Father is different from the love for a spouse. The love for people and
animate objects is different from our love for Allah and Islam. And these
different forms of love are also accompanied by different ways of
expression.

As a Muslim, our feelings of love should be governed by the duties and

beliefs of Islam. The perfection of love is our love for Allah. Allah says in
Surah Al-Baqarah: “And from among mankind there are some who take for
themselves (objects of worship as) rivals to Allah, loving them as they
should (only) love Allah. And those who believe are stronger in their love
for Allah”.

In fact, it is for Allah that all our other forms of love should originate. For
example, we should love each other because we believe in and worship
Allah(SWT). Allah states in a Hadith Qudsi: “Where are those who love
each other for my sake? Today, I shall give them shade in my shade, it
being a day where there is only my shade”.

Loving the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) should be our second priority. The
Prophet (SAW) said: No one truly believes until I am more beloved to him
than his own parents”.

We can love anything that Allah has made Halaal. And since most things
are Halaal, there are many things we can love. Aside from people, we can
also love a particular sport, or a type of food, especially things that are
stated in the Sunnah, like archery and horseback riding or dates and
water, just to name a few. Likewise, something that is haraam, would
obviously be haraam to love. Also, loving an enemy of Islam is a haraam
type of love. Allah says in Surah Al-Mumtahina: “And don‟t take the
disbelievers as your auliyah, they are auliyah of each other”. Since
feelings of love are often uncontrollable, we have to fight our desires of
haraam love. The Prophet (SAW) said:” None of you believes until his
desires are in accordance with what I have come with”.

Love that is channeled in the right direction is encouraged in Islam. Many

examples of love can be found in the Quran, Sunnah and the lives of the
Sahaba.

Allah says: “And he has put love and mercy between you”, when referring
to spousal relations. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Of the things in your world
that are beloved to me, are women, perfume, and the coolness of my eyes
during the prayer.” Ali (RA) would often recite poetry to express his love
for Fatima (RA).

Halaal types of love can become haraam if they become extreme. The
Prophet (SAW) warned us about going to extremes. He (SAW) said: “Indeed
those who came before you were ruined because they went to extremes”.
And he (SAW) also said:” Never love someone so extremely that you can
never hate them, and never hate someone so much that you could never
love them”. For example, if we love a certain scholar so much, that we
take his/her word over the Quran or the Sunnah, our love for that scholar
has become extreme, and therefore Haraam. Believe it or not, it happens
all the time. We might not even notice it. Many instances of blind-
following, which are a big problem in the Ummah, are due to this type of
extreme love.

In more worldly matters, if a certain sport or activity makes us skip the

prayer, this could constitute as an extreme love. Of course this doesn‟t
really have to be the reason. It could just be that one just forgets or is
lazy. But if you consciously skip the prayer for that activity, because you
love doing it so much, you‟ve probably fallen into the deep abyss of
extreme love.

Usually, extreme love is not really love at all, but actually a type of
infatuation or obsession. It becomes more obvious when it‟s directed to
other humans. For example, someone might love their spouse so much that
they‟ll consciously miss an obligatory duty to be with them or to please
them. For example, a woman takes off her hijab just to please her dayuth
husband. She knows it‟s wrong, but she‟ll do it anyways due to her
extreme love. One man from the Salaf, was so obsessed with his wife, that
he actually made sujood to her. Don‟t get me wrong, spouses are
encouraged to love each other, and should do all they can to develop and
keep those feelings of love. The Prophet (SAW) loved his wives very much,
and vice versa. We couldn‟t even begin to understand what their love must
have been like. But the Prophet (SAW) didn‟t let that distract him from his
religious obligations. Ayesha (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAW) used to spend
time with me playing, and chatting, but as soon as he would hear the
Adhaan, we would get up and go for prayer”. So in Islam, “True love”- when
referring to humans- can be defined as loving someone dearly, but keeping
it within context of our religious duties and beliefs.

Love before marriage can be complicated to say the least. Most of us will
have someone we like for marriage. We often notice that person and the
little things they do, and we say to ourselves” Hey, I‟d like to marry that
person”. The problem is that we‟ve been too influenced by our society. TV.,
movies cause us to feel a void in our lives. So we create this imaginary
“Romeo and Juliet” –type scenario to fill it. One will find themselves in a
flux between reality and fiction. Surprisingly, even we macho brothers do
it sometimes (Though we‟ll never dare tell anyone). Often times one will
think that they‟re in love with someone, but in reality, they‟re just in love
with the idea of loving someone. TV. and movies are all make-believe. The
scenarios they portray about love can‟t be plugged into real-life situations.
So as Muslims we should remain pragmatic and not let our emotions get
the best of us. I‟m not saying that it‟s wrong to like or even love someone
before marriage; Marriages don‟t have to be 100% arranged. It‟s good to
like a person before you marry them, granted you don‟t transcend the
limits set by Allah (SWT). The Prophet (SAW) acknowledged that two
people who aren‟t married can fall in love. He (SAW) once said: “The best
thing to do for two people who are in love, is to get married.”

Just don‟t get too attached to the idea of a particular person because a lot
of times it doesn‟t work out, and could lead to heartache. And it‟s usually
for naught, considering that you wouldn‟t really know that person unless
you were married to them; and, also considering that marriage is
predestined anyway. Remember, the goal is marriage, not the person. If
you find that you‟re constantly thinking about someone- and just
absolutely have to marry them- you„re probably in the area of extreme
love.

Since haraam types of love can be out of our control, they won‟t
necessarily earn us a sin; we earn a sin if we act on those feelings. But the
matter can get more serious than just earning a sin. Loving haraam things
can eventually lead to us negating our emaan.

A lot of times we can control certain emotions, and as a mature Muslim,

we should be able to identify them. The best thing we can do is go back to
the source, which is our heart. Purifying our hearts is the best way to rid
ourselves of haraam types of love. Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah: “Indeed
Allah loves those who repent to him and He loves those who purify
themselves”.

To start, we should ask ourselves a few questions: Is our ultimate love for
Allah and his Messenger? Is our love for things pure and rightly warranted?
If we do love haraam things, can it be real love? Answering these
questions will give us a good idea of where we stand on love.

Islamic injunctions are there for our own well-being. Where lays true
Islamic practice, lays true happiness and contentment. So while the rest
of the world is still pondering over the true meaning of love, we Muslims
can rest assured that Islam has defined it for us.

May Allah give us guidance, and make us love what he loves. Ameen.

Source:
http://www.interactiveislam.com/html/modules.php?name=News&file=articl
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