Professional Documents
Culture Documents
By Abbie Hoffman
copyright ©1971
INTRODUCTION
It's perhaps fitting that I write this introduction in jail-that graduat
e school of survival. Here you learn how to use toothpaste as glue, fashion a s
hiv out of a spoon and build intricate communication networks. Here too, you le
arn the only rehabilitation possible-hatred of oppression.Steal This Book is, in
a way, a manual of survival in the prison that is Amerika. It preaches jailbre
ak. It shows you where exactly how to place the dynamite that will destroy the
walls. The first section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential action program for our n
ew Nation. The chapter headings spell out the demands for a free society. A co
mmunity where the technology produces goods and services for whoever needs them,
come who may.
It calls on the Robin Hoods of Santa Barbara Forest to steal from the ro
bber barons who own the castles of capitalism. It implies that the reader alrea
dy is "ideologically set," in that he understands corporate feudalism as the onl
y robbery worthy of being called "crime," for it is committed against the people
as a whole. Whether the ways it describes to rip-off shit are legal or illeg
al is irrelevant. The dictionary of law is written by the bosses of order. Our
moral dictionary says no heisting from each other. To steal from a brother or
sister is evil. To not steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the
Pig Empire is equally immoral.Community within our Nation, chaos in theirs; that
is the message of SURVIVE!We cannot survive without learning to fight and that
is the lesson in the second section.
FIGHT! separates revolutionaries from outlaws. The purpose of part two i
s not to fuck the system, but destroy it. The weapons are carefully chosen. They
are "home-made," in that they are designed for use in our unique electronic jun
gle. Here the uptown reviewer will find ample proof of our "violent" nature. But
again, the dictionary of law fails us. Murder in a uniform is heroic, in a cost
ume it is a crime. False advertisements win awards, forgers end up in jail. Infl
ated prices guarantee large profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians
conspire to create police riots and the victims are convicted in the courts. Stu
dents are gunned down and then indicted by suburban grand juries as the trouble-
makers. A modern, highly mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide
against a small nation of great vision and then accuses its people of aggression
. Slumlords allow rats to maim children and then complain of violence in the str
eets. Everything is topsy-turvy. If we internalize the language and imagery of t
he pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate the point. Amerika was bui
lt on the slaughter of a people. That is its history. For years we watched movie
after movie that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy Stewart, the e
pitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and tells how the Indians and th
e whites can live in peace if only both sides will be reasonable, responsible an
d rational (the three R's imperialists always teach the "natives"). "You will fi
nd good grazing land on the other side of the mountain," drawls the public relat
ions man. "Take your people and go in peace." Cochise as well as millions of you
ngsters in the balcony of learning, were being dealt off the bottom of the deck.
The Indians should have offed Jimmy Stewart in every picture and we should have
cheered ourselves hoarse. Until we understand the nature of institutional
violence and how it manipulates values and mores to maintain the power of the fe
w, we will forever be imprisoned in the caves of ignorance. When we conclude tha
t bank robbers rather than bankers should be the trustees of the universities, t
hen we begin to think clearly. When we see the Army Mathematics Research and Dev
elopment Center and the Bank of Amerika as cesspools of violence, filling the mi
nds of our young with hatred, turning one against another, then we begin to thin
k revolutionary.Be clever using section two; clever as a snake. Dig the spirit o
f the struggle. Don't get hung up on a sacrifice trip. Revolution is not about s
uicide, it is about life. With your fingers probe the holiness of your body and
see that it was meant to live. Your body is just one in a mass of cuddly humanit
y. Become an internationalist and learn to respect all life. Make war on machine
s, and in particular the sterile machines of corporate death and the robots that
guard them. The duty of a revolutionary is to make love and that means staying
alive and free. That doesn't allow for cop-outs. Smoking dope and hanging up Ch
e's picture is no more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage st
amps. A revolution in consciousness is an empty high without a revolution in the
distribution of power. We are not interested in the greening of Amerika except
for the grass that will cover its grave.
Section three - LIBERATE! - concerns itself with efforts to free stuff (
or at least make it cheap) in four cities. Sort of a quick U.S. on no dollars a
day. It begins to scratch the potential for a national effort in this area. Sinc
e we are a nation of gypsies, dope on how to move around and dig in anywhere is
always needed. Together we can expand this section. It is far from complete, as
is the entire project. Incomplete chapters on how to identify police agents, ste
al a car, run day-care centers, conduct your own trial, organize a G.I. coffee h
ouse, start a rock and roll band and make neat clothes, are scattered all over t
he floor of the cell. The book as it now stands was completed in the late summer
of 1970. For three months manuscripts made the rounds of every major publisher.
In all, over 30 rejections occurred before the decision to publish the book our
selves was made, or rather made for us. Perhaps no other book in modern times pr
esented such a dilemma. Everyone agreed the book would be a commercial success.
But even greed had its limits, and the IRS and FBI following the manuscript with
their little jive rap had a telling effect. Thirty "yeses" become thirty "noes"
after "thinking it over." Liberals, who supposedly led the fight against censor
ship, talked of how the book "will end free speech."Finally the day we were brin
ging the proofs to the printer, Grove consented to act as distributor. To pull a
total solo trip, including distribution, would have been neat, but such an effo
rt would be doomed from the start. We had tried it before and blew it. In fact,
if anyone is interested in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars, they've got a deal. Even
with a distributor joining the fight, the battle will only begin when the books
come off the press. There is a saying that "Freedom of the press belongs to tho
se who own one." In past eras, this was probably the case, but now, high speed m
ethods of typesetting, offset printing and a host of other developments have mad
e substantial reductions in printing costs. Literally anyone is free to print th
eir own works. In even the most repressive society imaginable, you can get away
with some form of private publishing. Because Amerika allows this, does not make
it the democracy Jefferson envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a real phenomeno
n. To talk of true freedom of the press, we must talk of the availability of the
channels of communication that are designed to reach the entire population, or
at least that segment of the population that might participate in such a dialogu
e. Freedom of the press belongs to those that own the distribution system. Perha
ps that has always been the case, but in a mass society where nearly everyone is
instantaneously plugged into a variety of national communications systems, wide
-spread dissemination of the information is the crux of the matter. To make the
claim that the right to print your own book means freedom of the press is to com
pletely misunderstand the nature of a mass society. It is like making the claim
that anyone with a pushcart can challenge Safeway supermarkets, or that any chil
d can grow up to be president.State legislators, librarians, PTA members, FBI ag
ents, church-goers, and parents: a veritable legion of decency and order already
is on the march. To get the book to you might be the biggest challenge we face.
The next few months should prove really exciting.Obviously such a project as St
eal This Book could not have been carried out alone. Izak Haber shared the visio
n from the beginning. He did months of valuable research and contributed many of
the survival techniques. Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach of the New York Law Com
mune guided the book through its many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon did almost all t
he photographs. The cartoonists who have made contributions include Ski Williams
on and Gilbert Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS, patiently did the editing. Bert
Cohen of Concert Hall did the book's graphic design. Amber and John Wilcox set
the type. Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me rewrite a number of sections.
There are others who participated in the testing of many of the techniques demon
strated in the following pages and for obvious reasons have to remain anonymous.
There were perhaps over 50 brothers and sisters who played particularly vital r
oles in the grand conspiracy. Some of the many others are listed on the followin
g page. We hope to keep the information up to date. If you have comments, law su
its, suggestions or death threats, please send them to: Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213,
Cooper Station, New York, NY 10003. Many of the tips might not work in your are
a, some might be obsolete by the time you get to try them out, and many addresse
s and phone numbers might be changed. If the reader becomes a participating rese
archer then we will have achieved our purpose.Watch for a special edition called
Steal This White House, complete with blueprints of underground passages, metho
ds of jamming the communications network and a detailed map of the celebrated ro
om where according to Tricia Nixon, "Daddy loves to listen to Mantovanni records
, turn up the air conditioner full blast, sit by the fireplace, gaze out the win
dow to the Washington Monument and meditate on those difficult problems that fac
e all the peoples of this world."December, 1970Cook County JailChicago
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT 'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERBAIDING AND ABETTINGTim Leary, Tom, Geronimo, Pearl Paperhanger
, Sonny, Pat Solomon, Allan Katzman, Jacob Kohn, Nguyen Van Troi, Susan, Marty,
Andy, Ami, Marshall Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin Palmer, Mom and Dad, Janie Fon
da, Jerry, Denis, LNS, Bernadine Dohrn, a wall in Harvard Square, Nancy, an anon
ymous stewardess, Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis, Jimi, Dylan Liberation F
ront, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney, Richard, Denny, Ron Cobb,
the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell, Eric, David, Joe, Kim Agnew, the Pa
rtridge Family, Carol, Alan Ginsburg, Woman's Lib, Julius Lester, Lenny Bruce, H
ack, Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny Appleseed, the Rat, Craig, Che, Wi
llie Sutton, Wanda, EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse, Huey, Casey, Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip,
Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation Front, WPAX, Frank Dudock, Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosema
ry, Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer, Mr. Martin, Keith, Madame Binh, Mike, Elea
nor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice, the Tupamaros, Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon,
Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna, Skip Williamson, UPS, Andy Stapp, the Yippies, Richa
rd Brautigan, Jano, Carlos Marighella, the Weathermen, Julius Jennings Hoffman,
Quentin, the inmates of TIER A-l Cook County Jail, Houdini, 37, Rosa Luxemberg,
the Kent 25, the Chicago 15, the New York 21, the Motor City 3, the Indianapolis
500, Jack, Joan, Malcolm X, Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne, Justin,
The FBI Top 10 (now 16), Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John, Gus, Ruth, Nanc
y Unger, Pun, Jomo, Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commun
e, Paula, Robby, Terry, Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tric
ky Prickers, the Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson, the Armstrong
Brothers, Homer, Sharon, Fred Hampton, Jean Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi R
ose, Sylvia, Fellini, Amaru, Ann Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne, and las
t but not least to Spiro what's his name who provided the incentive.
SURVIVE!
FREE FOOD RESTAURANTS
In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot food
lying around just waiting to be ripped off. If you want to live high off the hog
without having to do the dishes, restaurants are easy pickings.
In general, many of these targets are easier marks if you are wearing th
e correct uniform. You should always have one suit or fashionable dress outfit h
anging in the closet for the proper heists. Specialized uniforms, such as nun an
d priest garb, can be most helpful. Check out your local uniform store for a wid
e range of clothes that will get you in, and especially out, of all kinds of sto
res. Every movement organization should have a prop and costume department.In ev
ery major city there are usually bars that cater to the New Generation type riff
-raff, trying to hustle their way up the escalator of Big Business. Many of thes
e bars have a buffet or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a come-on to drink more mi
ndless booze. Take a half-empty glass from a table and use it as a prop to ward
off the anxious waitress. Walk around sampling the free food until you've had en
ough. Often, there are five or six such bars in close proximity, so moving aroun
d can produce a delightful "street smorgasbord." Dinner usually begins at 5:00 P
M.If you are really hungry, you can go into a self-service cafeteria and finish
the meal of someone who left a lot on the plate. Self-service restaurants are us
ually good places to cop things like mustard, ketchup, salt, sugar, toilet paper
, silverware and cups for home use. Bring an empty school bag and load up after
you've cased the joint. Also, if you can stomach the food, you can use slugs at
the automat. Finishing leftovers can be worked in even the fanciest of restauran
ts. When you are seated at a place where the dishes still remain, chow-down real
quick. Then after the waitress hands you the menu, say you have to meet someone
outside first, and leave.There are still some places where you can get all you
can eat for a fixed price. The best of these places are in Las Vegas. Sew a plas
tic bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and wear a loose-fitting jacket or coat to c
over any noticeable bulge. Fried chicken is the best and the easiest to pocket,
or should we say bag. Another trick is to pour your second free cup of hot coffe
e into the plastic bag sewed inside your pocket and take it with you.At large ta
ke-out stands you can say you or your brother just picked up an order of fifteen
hamburgers or a bucket of chicken, and got shorted. We have never seen or heard
of anybody getting turned down using this method. If you want to get into a gra
nd food heist from take-out stands, you can work the following nervy bit: from a
pay phone, place an order from a large delivery restaurant. Have the order sent
to a nearby apartment house. Wait a few minutes in the booth after you've hung
up, as they sometimes call back to confirm the order. When the delivery man goes
into the apartment house to deliver the order, you can swipe the remaining orde
rs that are still in his truck.In fancy sit-down restaurants, you can order a la
rge meal and halfway through the main course, take a little dead cockroach or a
piece of glass out of your pocket and place it deftly on the plate. Jump up asto
nished and summon the headwaiter. "Never have I been so insulted. I could have b
een poisoned" you scream slapping down the napkin. You can refuse to pay and lea
ve, or let the waiter talk you into having a brand new meal on the house for thi
s terrible inconvenience.In restaurants where you pay at the door just before le
aving, there are a number of free-loading tricks that can be utilized. After you
've eaten a full meal and gotten the check, go into the restroom. When you come
out go to the counter or another section of the restaurant and order coffee and
pie. Now you have two bills. Simply pay the cheaper one when you leave the place
. This can be worked with a friend in the following way. Sit next to each other
at the counter. He should order a big meal and you a cup of coffee. Pretend you
don't know each other. When he leaves, he takes your check and leaves the one fo
r the large meal on the counter. After he has paid the cashier and left the rest
aurant, you pick up the large check, and then go into the astonishment routine,
complaining that somebody took the wrong check. You end up only paying for your
coffee. Later, meet your partner and reverse the roles in another place.In all t
hese methods, you should leave a good tip for the waiter or waitress, especially
with the roach-in-the-plate gambit. You should try to avoid getting the employe
es in trouble or screwing them out of a tip.One fantastic method of not only get
ting free food but getting the best available is the following technique that ca
n be used in metropolitan areas. Look in a large magazine shop for gourmet diges
ts and tourist manuals. Swipe one or two and copy down a good name from the mast
head inside the cover. Making up a name can also work. Next invest $5.00 to prin
t business cards with the name of the magazine and the new "associate editor." C
all or simply drop into a fancy restaurant, show a copy of the magazine and pres
ent the manager with your card. They will insist that the meal be on the house.G
reat places to get fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs, testimonials and
the like. The newspaper society sections have lists of weddings and locations. I
f your city has a large Jewish population, subscribe to the newspaper that servi
ces the Jewish community. There are extensive lists in these papers of family oc
casions where tons of good food is served. Show up at the back of the synagogue
a few hours after the affair has begun with a story of how you'd like to bring s
ome leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to your fraternity or sorority. If you
want to get the food served to you out front, you naturally have to disguise you
rself to look straight. Remarks such as, "I'm Marvin's cousin," or learning the
bride's name, "Gee, Dorothy looks marvelous" are great. Lines like "Betty doesn'
t look pregnant" are frowned upon. A man and woman team can work this free-load
much better than a single person as they can chatter back and forth while stuffi
ng themselves.If you're really into a classy free meal, and you are in a city wi
th a large harbor, check out the passenger ship section in the back pages of the
newspaper. There you find the schedule of departures for ocean cruises. Most tr
ips (these kind, anyway) begin with a fantastic bon voyage party on board ship.
Just walk on a few hours before departure time and start swinging. Champagne, ca
viar, lobster, shrimp and more, all as free as the open seas. If you get really
bombed and miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride across the ocean. You ge
t sent back as soon as you hit the other side, but it's a free ocean cruise. You
should have a pretty good story ready to go, or you might end up rowing in the
galley.Another possibility for getting a free meal is to go down to the docks an
d get friendly with a sailor. He can often invite you for dinner on board ship.
Foreign sailors are more than glad to meet friends and you can get great foreign
dinners this way.
FOOD PROGRAMS
In Amerika, there is a national food stamp program that unfortunately is
controlled by the states. Many states, for racist reasons, do not want to make
it too available or to publicize the fact that it even exists. It is a much bett
er deal than the food program connected with welfare, because you can use the st
amps to buy any kind of food. The only items excluded are tobacco products and a
lcoholic beverages. In general, you can qualify if you earn less than $165 per m
onth; the less you earn, the more stamps you can receive. There is minimal hassl
e involved once you get by the first hurdle. Show up at your local food stamp of
fice, which can be found by calling the Welfare Department in our city. Make an
appointment to see a representative for your area. They will tell you to bring a
ll sorts of receipts, but the only thing you need are a few rent stubs for the m
ost recent months. An array of various receipt books is a nice supplement to one
's prop room. If the receipts are for a high rent, tell them you rent a room fro
m a group of people and eat separately. They really only want to prove that you
have cooking facilities. Once you get the stamps, you can pick them up regularly
. Some states even mail them to your pad. You can get up to a hundred dollars wo
rth of free purchases a month per person in the most liberal states.Large amount
s of highly nutritional food can be gotten for as little as three cents per meal
from a non-profit organization called Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundatio
n, Inc., 1800 Olympic Ave., Santa Monica, California. Write and they will send y
ou details.
SUPERMARKETS
Talking about food in Amerika means talking about supermarkets-mammoth n
eon lighted streets of food packaged to hoodwink the consumers. Many a Yippie ca
n be found in the aisles, stuffing his pockets with assorted delicacies. We have
been shoplifting from supermarkets on a regular basis without raising the sligh
test suspicion, ever since they began.We are not alone, and the fact that so muc
h stealing goes on and the supermarkets still bring in huge profits shows exactl
y how much overcharging has occurred in the first place. Supermarkets, like othe
r businesses, refer to shoplifting as "inventory shrinkage." It's as if we thiev
es were helping Big Business reduce weight. So let's view our efforts as methods
designed to trim the economy and push forward with a positive attitude.Women sh
ould never go shopping without a large handbag. In those crowded aisles, especia
lly the ones with piles of cases, all sorts of goodies can be transferred from s
hopping cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn inside a trench coat, for more e
fficient thievery. Don't worry about the mirrors; attendants never look at them.
Become a discriminating shopper and don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your
pockets.Small bottles and jars often have the same size cap as the larger expens
ive sizes. If they have the price stamped on the cap, switch caps, getting the l
arger size for the cheaper price. You can empty a pound box of margarine and fil
l it with sticks of butter. Small narrow items can be hidden in the middle of ro
lls of toilet paper. Larger supermarkets sell records. You can sneak two good LP
's into one of those large frozen pizza boxes. In the produce department, there
are bags for fruit and vegetables. Slip a few steaks or some lamb chops into the
bottom of a large brown bag and pile some potatoes on top. Have a little man in
the white coat weigh the bag, staple it and mark the price. With a black crayon
you can mark your own prices, or bring your own adhesive price tags.It's best t
o work shoplifting in the supermarket with a partner who can act as look-out and
shield you from the eyes of nosy employees, shoppers and other crooks trying to
pick up some pointers. Work out a prearranged set of signals with your partner.
Diversions, like knocking over displays, getting into fist fights with the mana
ger, breaking plate glass windows and such are effective and even if you don't g
et anything they're fun. Haven't you always wanted to knock over those carefully
constructed nine-foot pyramids of garbage?You can walk into a supermarket, get
a few items from the shelves, and walk around eating food in the aisles. Pick u
p some cherries and eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket and open some yogurt
. Open a pickle or olive jar. Get some sliced meat or cheese from the delicatess
en counter and eat it up, making sure to ditch the wrapper. The cart full of ite
ms, used as a decoy, can just be left in an aisle before you leave the store.Cas
e the joint before pulling a big rip-off. Know the least crowded hours, learn th
e best aisles to be busy in, and check out the store's security system. Once you
get into shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really dig it. You'll be surprised
to learn that the food tastes better.Large scale thievery can best be carried o
ut with the help of an employee. Two ways we know of work best. A woman can get
a job as a cashier and ring up a small bill as her brothers and sisters bring ho
me tons of stuff.The method for men involves getting a job loading and unloading
trucks in the receiving department. Some accomplices dressed right can just pul
l in and, with your help, load up on a few cases. Infiltrating an employee into
a store is probably the best way to steal. Cashiers, sales clerks, shippers, and
the like are readily available jobs with such high turnover and low pay that li
ttle checking on your background goes on. Also, you can learn what you have to d
o in a few days. The rest of the week, you can work out ways to clean out the st
ore. After a month or so of action you might want to move on to another store be
fore things get heavy. We know one woman working as a cashier who swiped over $5
00 worth of food a week. She had to leave after a month because her boss thought
she was such an efficient cashier that he insisted on promoting her to a job th
at didn't have as many fringe benefits for her and her friends.Large chain store
s like Safeway throw away day-old vegetables, the outer leaves of lettuce, celer
y and the like. This stuff is usually found in crates outside the back of the bu
ilding. Tell them you're working with animals at the college labs, or that you r
aise guinea pigs. They might even get into saving them for you, but if they don'
t just show up before the garbage is collected, (generally early in the morning)
, and they'll let you cart away what you want.Dented cans and fruit can often be
gotten free, but certainly at a reduced rate. They are still as good as the und
amaged ones. So be sure to dent all your cans before you go to the cashier.Look
up catering services and businesses that service factories and office buildings
with ready-made sandwiches. Showing up at these places at the right times (cater
ing services on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers at 5:00 PM on weekdays) w
ill produce loads of good food. Legally, they have to dispose of the food that's
left over. They would be more than happy to give it to you if you spin a good s
tory.Butchers can be hustled for meat scraps with meat scraps with a "for my dog
" story, and bakeries can be asked for day-old rolls and bread.
WHOLESALE MARKETS
Large cities all have a wholesale fruit and vegetable area where often t
he workers will give you tons of free food just for the asking. Get a good story
together. Get some church stationery and type a letter introducing yourself "to
whom it may concern," or better still, wear some clerical garb. Orchards also m
ake good pickings just after the harvest has been completed.Factories often will
give you a case or two of free merchandise for a "charitable" reason. Make some
calls around town and then go pick up the stuff at the end of the week. A great
idea is to get a good list of a few hundred large corporations around the count
ry by looking up their addresses at the library. Poor's Register of Companies, D
irectors and Executives has the most complete list. Send them all letters compla
ining about how the last box of cereal was only half full, or you found a dead f
ly in the can of peaches. They often will send you an ample supply of items just
to keep you from complaining to your friends or worse, taking them to court. Of
ten you can get stuff sent to you by just telling them how good their product is
compared to the trash you see nowadays. You know the type of letter - "Rice Kri
spies have had a fantastic effect on my sexual prowess," or "Your frozen asparag
us has given a whole new meaning to my life." In general though, the nasties get
the best results.Slaughterhouses usually have meat they will give away. They ar
e anxious to give to church children's programs and things like that. In most st
ates, there is a law that if the slab of meat touches the ground, they have to t
hrow it away. Drop around meat houses late in the day and trip a few trucks.Fish
ermen always have hundreds of pounds of fish that have to be thrown out. You can
have as much as you can cart away, generally just for the asking. Boats come in
late in the afternoon and they'll give you some of the catch, or you can go to
the markets early in the morning when the fishing is best.These methods of getti
ng food in large quantities can only be appreciated by those who have tried it.
You will be totally baffled by the unbelievable quantities of food that will be
laid on you and with the ease of panhandling.Investing in a freezer will allow y
ou to bi-weekly or even monthly trips to the wholesale markets and you'll get th
e freshest foods to boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale for free. Or is
it free for wholesale? In any event, "bon appetit."
FOOD CONSPIRACIES
Forming a food cooperative is one of the best ways to promote solidarity
and get every kind of food you need to survive real cheap. It also provides
a ready-made bridge for developing alliances with blacks, Puerto Ricans, chican
os and other groups fighting our common oppressor on a community level.Call a me
eting of about 20 communes, collectives or community organizations. Set up the g
round rules. There should be a hard-core of really good hustlers that serve as t
he shopping or hunting party and another group of people who have their heads to
gether enough to keep records and run the central distribution center. Two or th
ree in each group should do it. They can get their food free for the effort. Ano
ther method is to rotate the activity among all members of the conspiracy. The m
ethod you choose depends upon your politics and whether you favor a division of
labor or using the food conspiracy as a training for collective living. Probably
a blend of the two is best, but you'll have to hassle that out for yourself. Th
e next thing to agree upon is how the operation and all the shit you get will be
paid for. This is dependent on a number of variables, so we'll map out one sch
eme and you can modify it to suit your particular situation. Each member of ever
y commune could be assessed a fee for joining. You want to get together about $2
,000, so at 200 members, this is ten bucks a piece. After the joining fee, each
person or group has to pay only for the low budget food they order, but some loo
t is needed to get things rolling. The money goes to getting a store front or ga
rage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers, bags, shelving, chopping blocks, sli
cer and whatever else you need. You can get great deals by looking in the class
ified ads of the local overground newspaper and checking for restaurants or mark
ets going out of business. Remember the idea of a conspiracy is to get tons of s
tuff at real low prices or free into a store front, and then break it down into
smaller units for each group and eventually each member. The freezers allow you
to store perishables for a longer time.The hunting party should be well acquaint
ed with how to rip off shit totally free and where all the best deals are to be
found. They should know what food is seasonal and about nutritional diets. There
is a lot to learn, such as where to get raw grains in 100 pounds lots and how t
o cut up a side of beef. A good idea is to get a diet freak to give weekly talks
in the store front. There can also be cooking lessons taught, especially to men
, so women can get out of the kitchen.Organizing a community around a basic issu
e of survival, such as food, makes a lot of nitty gritty sense. After your consp
iracy gets off the ground and looks permanent, you should seek to expand it to i
nclude more members and an emergency food fund should be set up in case somethin
g happens in the community. There should also be a fund whereby the conspiracy c
an sponsor free community dinners tied into celebrations. Get it together and jo
in the fight for a world-wide food conspiracy. Seize the steak!
CHEAP CHOW
There are hundreds of good paperback cook books with nutritional cheap r
ecipes available in any bookstore. Cooking is a vastly overrated skill. The foll
owing are a few all-purpose dishes that are easy to make, nutritional and cheap
as mud pies. You can add or subtract many of the ingredients for variety.
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)¸
c millet
2 c raw oats¸
c cracked wheat
1 c rye flakes¸
c buckwheat groats
1 c wheat flakes¸
c wheat germ
1 c dried fruits and/or nuts¸
c sunflower seeds
3 tbs soy oil¹
c sesame seeds
1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a large bowl all
the ingredients including the millet. The soy oil and honey should be heated in
a saucepan over a low flame until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in a baking p
an and cover with the honey syrup. Toast in oven until brown. Stir once or twice
so that all the cereal will be toasted. Serve plain or with milk. Refrigerate p
ortion not used in a covered container. Enough for ten to twenty people. Make lo
ts and store for later meals. All these ingredients can be purchased at any heal
th store in a variety of quantities. You can also get natural sugar if you need
a sweetener. If bought and made in quantity, this fantastically healthy breakfas
t food will be cheaper than the brand name cellophane that passes for cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats,
corn meal, or wheat germ
2 tsp salt1¸
c water (warm)
2 egg yolks¹
c sugar (raw is best)
4 c flour1 pkg active dry yeast
c corn oil1
c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ (depending
on the flavor bread you desire), the water and sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and
wait 10 minutes for the yeast to do its thing. Add salt, egg yolks, corn oil an
d dry milk. Mix with a fork. Blend in the flour. The dough should be dry and a l
ittle lumpy. Cover with a towel and leave in a warm place for a half hour. Now m
ash, punch, blend and kick the dough and return it covered to its warm place. Th
e dough will double in size. When this happens, separate the dough into two even
masses and mash each one into a greased bread (loaf) pan. Cover the pans and le
t sit until the dough rises to the top of the pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in a
350 degree oven that has not been pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in the bot
tom of the oven will keep the bread nice and moist. When you remove the pans fro
m the oven, turn out the bread into a rack and let it cool off. Once you get the
hang of it, you'll never touch ready-made bread, and it's a gas seeing yeast wo
rk.Street SaladSalad can be made by chopping up almost any variety of vegetables
, nuts and fruits including the stuff you panhandled at the back of supermarkets
; dandelions, shav, and other wild vegetables; and goods you ripped off inside s
tores or from large farms. A neat fresh dressing consists of one part of oil, tw
o parts wine vinegar, finely chopped garlic cloves, salt and pepper. Mix up the
ingredients in a bottle and add to the salad as you serve it. Russian dressing i
s simply mayonnaise and ketchup mixed.Yippie YogurtYogurt is one of the most nut
ritional foods in the world. The stuff you buy in stores has preservatives added
to it reducing its health properties and increasing the cost. Yogurt is a bacte
ria that spreads throughout a suitable culture at the correct temperature. Begin
by going to a Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to go. Some r
estaurants boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred years. Put it in the re
frigerator.Now prepare the culture in which the yogurt will multiply. The consis
tency you want will determine what you use. A milk culture will produce thin yog
urt, while sweet cream will make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat content th
at determines the consistency and also the number of calories. Half milk and hal
f cream combines the best of both worlds. Heat a quart of half and half on a low
flame until just before the boiling point and remove from the stove. This knock
s out other bacteria that will compete with the yogurt. Now take a tablespoon of
the yogurt you got from the restaurant and place it in the bottom of a bowl (no
t metal). Now add the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with a lid and wrap tightly wi
th a heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such as on top of a radiator or
in a sunny window. A turned-off oven with a tray of boiling water placed in it w
ill do well. Just let the bowl sit for about 8 hours (overnight). The yogurt sim
ply grows until the whole bowl is yogurt. Yippie! It will keep in the refrigerat
or for about two weeks before turning sour, but even then, the bacteria will pro
duce a fresh batch of top quality. Remember when eating it to leave a little to
start the next batch. For a neat treat add some honey and cinnamon and mix into
the yogurt before serving. Chopped fruit and nuts are also good.Rice and Cong Sa
uce1 c brown rice vegetables2 c water 2¸ tbs soy saucetsp saltBring the
water to a boil in a pot and add the salt and rice. Cover and reduce flame. Cook
ing time is about 40 minutes or until rice has absorbed all the water. Meanwhile
, in a well-greased frying pan, saute a variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy.
When they become soft and brownish, add salt and 2 cups of water. Cover with a
lid and lower flame. Simmer for about 40 minutes, peeking to stir every once in
a while. Then add 2 1/2 tbs of soy sauce, stir and cook another 10 minutes. The
rice should be just cooling off now, so add the sauce to the top of it and serve
. Great for those long guerrilla hikes. This literally makes up almost the entir
e diet of the National Liberation Front fighter.
Weatherbeans
1 lb red kidney beans
2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ¸
lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped)or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped)
1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced)
salt to season
Rinse the beans, then place in covered pot and add water and salt. Cook
over low flame. While cooking, chop up meat and brown in a frying pan. Add onion
, celery, garlic and parsley and continue sauteing over low flame. Add the piece
s of meat, vegetables and bay leaf to the beans and cook covered for 1 1/2 to 2
hours. It may be necessary to add more water if the beans get too dry. Fifteen m
inutes before beans are done, mash about a half cup of the stuff against the sid
e of the pan to thicken the liquid. Pour the beans and liquid over some steaming
rice that you've made by following the directions above. This should provide a
cheap nutritional meal for about 6 people.Hedonist's Deluxe2 lobsters 2 qts wa
terseaweed ¹ lb butterSteal two lobsters, watching out for the claw thingies.
Beg some seaweed from any fish market. Cop the butter using the switcheroo meth
od described in the Supermarket section above. When you get home, boil the water
in a large covered pot and drop in the seaweed and then the lobsters. Put the c
over back on and cook for about 20 minutes. Melt the butter in a sauce pan and d
ip the lobster pieces in it as you eat. With a booster box, described later you'
ll be able to rip off a bottle of vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy liquor store
. Really, rice is nice but...FREE
CLOTHING & FURNITUREFREE CLOTHING
If shoplifting food seems easy, it's nothing compared to the snatching o
f clothing. Shop only the better stores. Try thing on in those neat secluded sta
lls. The less bulky items such as shirts, vests, belts and socks can be tied aro
und your waist or leg with large rubber bands if needed. Just take a number of i
tems in and come out with a few less.In some cities there are still free stores
left over from the flower power days. Churches often have give-away clothing pro
grams. You can impersonate a clergyman and call one of the large clothing manufa
cturers in your area. They are usually willing to donate a case or two of shirts
, trousers or underwear to your church raffle or drive to dress up skid row. Be
sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your boy" will pick up the blessed donation a
nd you'll mention his company in the evening prayers.If you notice people moving
from an apartment or house, ask them if they'll be leaving behind clothing. The
y usually abandon all sorts of items including food, furniture and books. Offer
to help them carry out stuff if you can keep what they won't be taking.Make the
rounds of a fancy neighborhood with a truck and some friends. Ring doorbells and
tell the person who answers that you are collecting wearable clothing for the "
poor homeless victims of the recent tidal wave in Quianto a small village in Sau
di Arabia." You get the pitch. Make it food and clothing, and say you're with a
group called Heartline for Decency. A phony letter from a church might help here
.The Salvation Army does this, and you can pick up clothes from them at very che
ap prices. You can get a pair of snappy casual shoes for 25 cents in many bowlin
g alleys by walking out with them on your feet. If you have to leave your shoes
as a deposit, leave the most beat-up pair you can find.Notice if your friends ha
ve lost or gained weight. A big change means a lot of clothes doing nothing but
taking up closet space. Show up at dormitories when college is over for the summ
er or winter season. Go to the train or bus stations and tell them you left your
raincoat, gloves or umbrella when you came into town. They'll take you to a roo
m with thousands of unclaimed items. Pick out what you like. While there, notice
a neat suitcase or trunk and memorize the markings. Later a friend can claim th
e item. There will be loads of surprises in any suitcase. We have a close friend
who inherited ten kilos of grass this way.Large laundry and dry cleaning chains
usually have thousands of items that have gone unclaimed. Manufacturers also ha
ve shirts, dresses and suits for rockbottom prices because of a crooked seam or
other fuck-up. Stores have reduced rates on display models: Mannequins are mostl
y all size 40 for men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is the standard display size
for men's shoes. If you are these sizes, you can get top styles for less than ha
lf price.
SANDALS
The Vietnamese and people throughout the Third World make a fantasticall
y durable and comfortable pair of sandals out of rubber tires. They cut out a se
ction of the outer tire (trace around the outside of the foot with a piece of ch
alk) which when trimmed forms the sole. Next 6 slits re made in the sole so the
rubber straps can be criss-crossed and slid through the slits. The straps are ma
de out of inner tubing. No nails are needed. If you have wide feet, use the new
wide tread low profiles. For hard going, try radials. For best satisfaction and
quality, steal the tires off a pig car or a government limousine.Let's face it,
if you really are into beating the clothing problem, move to a warm climate and
run around naked. Skin is absolutely free, and will always be in style. Speaking
of style, the midi and the maxi have obvious advantages when it comes to shopli
fting and transporting weapons or bombs.FREE
FURNITURE
Apartment lobbies are good for all kinds of neat furniture. If you want
to get fancy about it, rent a truck (not one that says U-HAUL-IT or other rental
markings) and make the pick-up with moving-man-type uniforms. When schools are
on strike and students hold seminars and debate into the night, Yippies can be f
ound going through the dorm lobbies and storage closets hauling off couches, des
ks, printing supplies, typewriters, mimeos, etc. to store in secret underground
nests. A nervy group of Yippies in the Midwest tried to swipe a giant IBM 360 co
mputer while a school was in turmoil. All power to those that bring a wheelbarro
w to sit-ins.Check into a high-class hotel or motel remembering to dress like th
e wallpaper. Carry a large dummy suitcase with you and register under a phony na
me. Make sure you and not the bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a decoy. Whe
n you get inside the room, grab everything you can stuff in the suitcase: radio,
T.V. sets (even if it has a special plug you can cut it with a knife and replac
e the cord), blankets, toilet paper, glasses, towels, sheets, lamps, (forget the
imitation Winslow Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap and toss rugs. Before you le
ave (odd hours are best) hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign on your doorknob. This wil
l give you an extra few hours to beat it across the border or check into a new h
otel.Landlords renovating buildings throw out stoves, tables, lamps, refrigerato
rs and carpeting. In most cities, each area has a day designated for discarding
bulk objects. Call the Sanitation Department and say you live in that part of to
wn which would be putting out the most expensive shit and find out the pick-up d
ay. Fantastic buys can be found cruising the streets late at night. Check out th
e backs of large department stores for floor models, window displays and slightl
y damaged furniture being discarded.Construction sites are a good source for bui
lding materials to construct furniture. (Not to mention explosives.) The large w
ooden cable spools make great tables. Cinderblocks, bricks and boards can quickl
y be turned into a sharp looking bookcase. Doors make tables. Nail kegs convert
into stools or chairs. You can also always find a number of other supplies hangi
ng around like wiring, pipes, lighting fixtures and hard hats. And don't forget
those blinking signs and the red lanterns for your own light show. Those black o
il-fed burners are O.K. for cooking, although smoky, and highway flares are swel
l for making fake dynamite bombs.
FREE TRANSPORTATIONHITCH
-HIKING
Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want to go for no
thing is to hitch. In the city it's a real snap. Just position yourself at a bus
y intersection and ask the drivers for a lift when they stop for the red light.
If you're hitching on a road where the traffic zooms by pretty fast, be sure to
stand where the car will have room to safely pull off the road. Traveling long d
istances, even cross-country, can be easy if you have some sense of what you are
doing.A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more. A man and woman
will do very well together. Single women are certain to get propositioned and po
ssibly worse. Amerikan males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a po
or lonesome damsel in distress. Unless your karate and head are in top form, wom
en should avoid hitching alone. Telling men you have V.D. might help in difficul
t situations.New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections for eas
y hitches. The South and Midwest can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider and
all that. The best season to hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than
night. If you have to hitch at night, get under some type of illumination where
you'll be seen.Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you always ca
n get a "say-so" bust. A "say-so" arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to the Ar
my. When you ask why you're under arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If
you stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs won't give you too bad a time. I
f you've got long hair, cops will often stop to play games. You can wear a hat w
ith your hair tucked under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your abilit
y to get rides, since many straights will pick up hippies out of curiosity who w
ould not pick up a straight scruffy looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick
up other freaks.Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even a few
arrests for hitching (Flagstaff, Arizona is notorious), but even in the states w
here it is illegal, the law is rarely enforced. If you're stopped by the pigs, p
lay dumb and they'll just tell you to move along. You can wait until they leave
and then let your thumb hang out again.Hitchin on super highways is really far o
ut. It's illegal but you won't get hassled if you hitch at the entrances. On a f
ucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on the road, but keep a sharp ey
e out for porkers. When you get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the dri
ver is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take a ride under a hundred mile
s that won't end up in a location just as good. When the driver is headed to an
out-of-the-way place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best rides. I
f he's going to a particularly small town, ask him to drive you to the other sid
e of thy town line. It's usually only a mile or two. Small towns often enforce a
ll sorts of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong side of town, it
would be wise to even hoof it through the place. Getting to a point on the road
where the cars are inter-city rather than local traffic is always preferable.Whe
n you hit the road you should have a good idea of how to get where you are going
. You can pick up a free map at any gas station. Long distance routes, road cond
itions, weather and all sorts of information can be gotten free by calling the A
merican Automobile Association in any city. Say that you are a member driving to
Phoenix, Arizona or wherever your destination is, and find out what you want to
know. Always carry a sign indicating where you are going. If you get stranded o
n the road without one, ask in a diner or gas station for a piece of cardboard a
nd a magic marker. Make the letters bold and fill them in so they can be seen by
drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small town, the sign should i
ndicate the state. For really long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of c
ourse, you're going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your pack also
helps.Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching you is illegal, fe
w pigs can read the Constitution. If you are carrying when the patrol car pulls
up, tell them you are Kanadian and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols are
very uptight about promoting incidents with foreigners. The foreign bit goes ov
er especially well with small-town types, and is also amazingly good for avoidin
g hassles with greasers. If you can't hack this one, tell them you are a reporte
r for a newspaper writing a feature story on hitching around the country. This s
tory has averted many a bust.Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas
stations and ask people if they're heading East or to Texas. Sometimes gas stat
ion attendants will help. When in the car be friendly as hell. Offer to share th
e driving if you've got a license. If you're broke, you can usually bum a meal o
r a few bucks, maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated into givi
ng money for a ride.As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel
light. The rule is to make up a pack of the absolute minimum, then cut that in h
alf. Hitching is an art form as is all survival. Master it and you'll travel on
a free trip forever.
FREIGHTING
There is a way to hitch long distances that has certain advantages over
letting your thumb hang out for hours on some two-laner. Learn about riding the
trains and you'll always have that alternative. Hitchhiking at night can be impo
ssible, but hopping a is easier at night than by day. By hitchhiking days and ho
pping freights and sleeping on them at night, you can cover incredible distances
rapidly and stay well rested. Every city and most large towns have a freight ya
rd. You can find it by following the tracks or asking where the freight yard is
located.When you get to the yard, ask the workmen when the next train leaving in
your direction will be pulling out. Unlike the phony Hollywood image, railroad
men are nice to folks who drop by to grab a ride. Most yards don't have a guard
or a "bull" as they are called. Even if they do, he is generally not around. If
there is a bull around, the most he's going to do is tell you it's private prope
rty and ask you to leave. There are exceptions to this rule, such as the notorio
us Lincoln, Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but by asking you can find out. Eve
n if he asks you to leave or throws you out, sneak back when your train is pulli
ng out and jump aboard.After you've located the right train for your trip, hunt
for an empty boxcar to ride. The men in the yards will generally point one out i
f you ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and coal cars are definitely third class due to
exposure to the elements. Boxcars are by far the best. They are clean and the ro
of over your head helps in bad weather and cuts down the wind. Boxcars with a hy
dro-cushion suspension system used for carrying fragile cargo make for the smoot
hest ride. Unless you get one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy and noi
sy voyage.You should avoid cars with only one door open, because the pin may bre
ak, locking you in. A car with both doors open gives you one free chance. Pig-ba
cks (trailers on flatcars) are generally considered unsafe. Most trains make a n
umber of short hops, so if time is an important factor try to get on a "hot shot
" express. A hot shot travels faster and has priority over other trains in crowd
ed yards. You should favor a hot shot even if you have to wait an extra hour or
two or more to get one going your way.If you're traveling at night, be sure to d
ress warmly. You can freeze your ass off. Trains might not offer the most comfor
table ride, but they go through beautiful countryside that you'd never see from
the highway or airway. There are no billboards, road signs, cops, Jack-in-the-Bo
xes, gas stations or other artifacts of honky culture. You'll get dirty on the t
rains so wear old clothes. Don't pass up this great way to travel cause some bul
lshit western scared you out of it.
CARS
If you know how to drive and want to travel long distances, the auto tra
nsportation agencies are a good deal. Look in the Yellow Pages under Automobile
Transportation and Trucking or Driveway. Rules vary, but normally you must be ov
er 21 and have a valid license. Call up and tell them when and where you want to
go and they will let you know if they have a car available. They give you the c
ar and a tank of gas free. You pay the rest. Go to pick up the car alone, then g
et some people to ride along and help with the driving and expenses. You can mak
e New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars in tolls and gas in four da
ys without pushing. Usually you have the car for longer and can make a whole thi
ng out of it. You must look straight when you go to the agency. This can be simp
ly be done by wetting down your hair and shoving it under a cap.Another good way
to travel cheaply is to find somebody who has a car and is going your way. Usu
ally underground newspapers list people who either want rides or riders. Another
excellent place to find information is your local campus. Every campus has a bu
lletin board for rides. Head shops and other community-minded stores have notice
s up on the wall.GasIf you have a car and need some gas late at night you can ge
t a quart and then some by emptying the hoses from the pumps into your tank. The
re is always a fair amount of surplus gas left when the pumps are shut off.If yo
ur traveling in a car and don't have enough money for gas and tolls, stop at the
bus station and see if anybody wants a lift. If you find someone, explain your
money situation and make a deal with him. Hitch-hikers also can be asked to chip
in on the gas.You can carry a piece of tubing in the trunk of your car and when
the gas indicator gets low, pull up to a nice looking Cadillac on some dark str
eet and syphon off some of his gas. Just park your car so the gas tank is next t
o the Caddy's, or use a large can. Stick the hose into his tank, suck up enough
to get things flowing, and stick the other end into your tank. Having a lower le
vel of liquid, you tank will draw gas until you and the Caddy are equal. "To eac
h according to his need, from each according to his ability," wrote Marx. Bet yo
u hadn't realized until now that the law of gravity affects economics.Another wa
y is to park in a service station over their filler hole. Lift off one lid (like
a small manhole cover), run down twenty feet of rubber tubing thru the hole you
've cut in your floorboard, then turn on the electric pump which you have instal
led to feed into your gas tank. All they ever see is a parked car. This techniqu
e is especially rewarding when you have a bus.
BUSES
If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them, try swiping a
ride on the bus. Here's a method that has worked well. Get a rough idea of wher
e the bus has stopped before it arrived at your station. If you are not at the b
eginning or final stop on the route, wait until the bus you want pulls in and th
en out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled off without you while you w
ent to the bathroom. If there is a station master, complain like crazy to him. T
ell him you're going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll put y
ou on the next bus for free. If there is no station master, lay your sad tale on
the next driver that comes along. If you know when the last bus left, just tell
the driver you've been stranded there for eight hours and you left your kid sle
eping on the other bus. Tell him you called ahead to the company and they said t
o grab the next bus and they would take care of it.The next method isn't totally
free but close enough. It's called the hopper-bopper. Find a bus that makes a f
ew stops before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with people gett
ing in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the short hop and stay on the bus un
til you end up at your destination. You must develop a whole style in order to p
ull this off because the driver has to forget you are connected with the ticket
you gave him. Dress unobtrusively or make sure the driver hasn't seen your face.
Pretend to be asleep when the short hop station is reached. If you get question
ed, just act upset about sleeping through the stop you "really" want and ask if
it's possible to get a ride back.
AIRLINES
Up and away, junior outlaws! If you really want to get where you're goin
g in a hurry, don't forget skyjacker's paradise. Don't forget the airlines. They
make an unbelievable amount of bread on their inflated prices, ruin the land wi
th incredible amounts of polluting wastes and noise, and deliberately hold back
aviation advances that would reduce prices and time of flight. We know two foolp
roof methods to fly free, but unfortunately we feel publishing them would cause
the airlines to change their policy. The following methods have been talked abou
t enough, so the time seems right to make them known to a larger circle of frien
ds.A word should be said right off about stolen tickets. Literally millions of d
ollars worth of airline tickets are stolen each year. If you have good underworl
d contacts, you can get a ticket to anywhere you want at one-fourth the regular
price. If you are charged more, you are getting a slight rooking. In any case, y
ou can get a ticket for any flight or date and just trade it in. They are actual
ly as good as cash, except that it takes 30 days to get a refund, and by then th
ey might have traced the stolen tickets. If you can get a stolen ticket, exchang
e or use it as soon as possible, and always fly under a phony name. A stolen tic
ket for a trip around the world currently goes for one hundred and fifty dollars
in New York.One successful scheme requires access to the mailbox of a person li
sted in the local phone book. Let's use the name Ron Davis as an example. A woma
n calls one of the airlines with a very efficient sounding rap such as: "Hello,
this is Mr. Davis' secretary at Allied Chemical. He and his wife would like to f
ly to Chicago on Friday. Could you mail two first-class tickets to his home and
bill us here at Allied?" Every major corporation probably has a Ron Davis, and t
he airlines rarely bother checking anyway. Order your tickets two days before yo
u wish to travel, and pick them up at the mailbox or address you had them sent t
o. If you are uptight in the airport about the tickets, just go up to another ai
rline and have the tickets exchanged.One gutsy way to hitch a free ride is to bo
ard the plane without a ticket. This is how it works. Locate the flight you want
and rummage through a wastebasket until you find an envelope for that particula
r airline. Shuffle by the counter men (which is fairly easy if it's busy). When
the boarding call is made, stand in line and get on the plane. Flash the empty e
nvelope at the stewardess as you board the plane. Carry a number of packages as
a decoy, so the stewardess won t ask you to open the envelope. If she does, whic
h is rare, and sees you have no ticket, act surprised. "Oh my gosh, it must hav
e fallen out in the wash room," will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you'r
e going to retrieve the ticket. Disappear and try later on a different airline.
Nine out of ten revolutionaries say it's the only way to fly. This trick works o
nly on airlines that don't use the boarding pass system.If you want to be covere
d completely, use the hopper-bopper method described in the section on Buses, wi
th this added security precaution. Buy two tickets from different cashiers, or b
etter still, one from an agent in town. Both will be on the same flight. Only on
e ticket will be under a phony name and for the short hop, white the ticket unde
r your real name will be for your actual destination. At the boarding counter, p
resent the short hop ticket. You will be given an envelope with a white receipt
in it. Actually, the white receipt is the last leaf in your ticket. Once you are
securely seated and aloft, take out the ticket with your name and final destina
tion. Gently peel away everything but the white receipt. Place the still valid t
icket back in your pocket. Now remove from the envelope and destroy the short ho
p receipt. In its place, put the receipt for the ticket you have in your pocket.
When you land at the short hop airport, stay on the plane. Usually the stewardes
ses just ask you if you are remaining on the flight. If you have to, you can act
ually show her your authentic receipt. When you get to your destination, you mer
ely put the receipt back on the bonafide ticket that you still have in your pock
et. It isn't necessary that they be glued together. Present the ticket for a ref
und or exchange it for another ticket. This method works well even in foreign co
untries. You can actually fly around the world for $88.00 using the hopper-boppe
r method and switching receipts.If you can't hack these shucks you should at lea
st get a Youth Card and travel for half fare. If you are over twenty-two but sti
ll in your twenties, you can easily pass. Get a card from a friend who has simil
ar color hair and eyes. Your friend can easily get one from another airline. You
can master your friend's signature and get a supporting piece of identification
from him to back up your youth card if you find it necessary. If you have a fri
end who works for an airline or travel agency, just get a card under your own na
me and an age below the limit. Your friend can validate the card. Flying youth f
are is on stand-by, so it's always a good idea to call ahead and book a number o
f reservations under fictitious names on the flight you'll be taking. This will
fuck up the booking of regular passengers and insure you a seat.By the way, if y
ou fly cross-country a number of times, swipe one of the plug-in head sets. Alwa
ys remember to pack it in your traveling bag. This way you'll save a two dollar
fee charged for the in-flight movie. The headsets are interchangeable on all air
lines.One way to fly free is to actually hitch a ride. Look for the private plan
e area located at every airport, usually in some remote part of the field. You c
an find it by noticing where the small planes without airline markings take off
and land. Go over to the runways and ask around. Often the mechanics will let yo
u know when someone is leaving for your destination and point out a pilot. Tell
him you lost your ticket and have to get back to school. Single pilots often lik
e to have a passenger along and it's a real gas flying in a small plane.Some for
eign countries have special arrangements for free air travel to visiting writers
, artists or reporters. Brazil and Argentina are two we know of for sure. Call o
r write the embassy of the country you wish to visit in Washington or their miss
ion to the United Nations in New York. Writing works best, especially if you can
cop some stationery from a newspaper or publishing house. Tell them you will be
writing a feature story for some magazine on the tourist spots or handcrafts of
the country. The embassy will arrange for you to travel gratis aboard one of th
eir air force planes. The planes leave only from Washington and New York at unsc
heduled times. Once you have the O.K. letter from the embassy you're all set. Th
is is definitely worth checking out if you want to vacation in a foreign country
with all sorts of free bonuses thrown in.A one-way ride is easy if you want to
get into skyjacking. Keep the piece or knife in your shoe to avoid possible dete
ction with the "metal scanner," a long black tube that acts like a geiger counte
r. Or use a plastic knife or bomb. It's also advisable to wrap your dope in a no
n-metallic material. Avoid tinfoil.The crews have instructions to take you where
ver you want to go even if they have to refuel, but watch out for air marshals.
To avoid air marshals and searches pick an airline which flies short domestic ho
ps. You should plan to end up in a country hostile to the United States or you'l
l end up right back where you came from in some sturdy handcuffs. One dude wante
d to travel in style so he demanded $100,000 as a going-away gift. The airlines
quickly paid off. The guy then got greedy and demanded a hundred million dollars
. When he returned to pick up the extra pocket money, he got nabbed. None the le
ss, skyjacking appears to be the cheapest, fastest way to get away from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means of transportation can be ripped off easily. Get
on the bus with a large bill and present it after the bus has left the stop. If
the bus is crowded, slip in the back door when it opens to dispatch passengers.T
wo people can easily get through the turnstile in a subway on one token by doubl
ing up. In some subway systems cards are given out to high school kids or senior
citizens or employees of the city. The next time you are in a subway station no
tice people flashing cards to the man in the booth and entering through the "exi
t" door. Notice the color of the card used by people in your age group. Get a pi
ece of colored paper in a stationery store or find some card of the same color y
ou need. Put this "card" in a plastic window of your wallet and flash it in the
same way those with a bona fide pass do.Before entering a turnstile, always test
the swing bar. If someone during the day put in an extra token, it's still in t
he machine waiting for you to enter free.For every token and coin deposited in a
n automatic turnstile, there is a foreign coin the same size for much less that
will work in the machine. (See the Yippie Currency Exchange, following, for more
info.) Buy a cheap bag of assorted foreign coins from a dealer that you can loc
ate in the Yellow Pages. Size up the coins with a token from your subway system.
You can get any of these coins in bulk from a large dealer. Generally they are
about l,000 for five dollars. Tell him you make jewelry out of them if he gets s
uspicious. Giving what almost amounts to free subway rides away is a communal ac
t of love. The best outlaws in the world rip-off shit for a lot more people than
just themselves. Robin Hood lives!
FREE LAND
Despite what you may have heard, there is still some rural land left in
Amerika. The only really free land is available in Alaska and remote barren area
s of the western states. The latest information in this area is found in a perio
dic publication called Our Public Lands, available from the Superintendent of Do
cuments, Washington, D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00 for a subscription. Also contact
the U.S. Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land Management, Washington, D.C
. 20240 and ask for information on "homesteading." By the time this book is out
though, the Secretary of the Interior's friends in the oil companies might have
stolen all the available free land. Being an oil company is about the easiest wa
y to steal millions. Never call it stealing though, always refer to it as "resea
rch and development."Continental United States has no good free land that we kno
w of, but there are some very low prices in areas suited for country communities
. Write to School of Living, Freeland, Maryland, for their newspaper Green Revol
ution with the latest information in this area. Canada has free land available,
and the Canadian government will send you a free list if you write to the Depart
ment of Land and Forests, Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada. Also write t
o the Geographical Branch, Department of Mines and Technical Surveys, Parliament
Building, Quebec City, Canada. Correspondence can be carried out with the Commu
nications Group, 2630 Point Grey Road, Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, fo
r advice on establishing a community in Canada. The islands off the coast of Bri
tish Columbia, its western region and the area along the Kootenai River are amon
g the best locations.If you just want to rip off some land, there are two ways t
o do it; openly or secretly. If you are going to do it out front, look around fo
r a piece of land that's in dispute, which has its sovereignty in question-islan
ds and deltas between the U.S. and Canada, or between the U.S. and Mexico, or an
y number of other borderline lands. You might even consider one of the abandoned
oil-drilling platforms, which are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The p
ossibilities are endless.If you intend to do it quietly, you will want a complet
ely different type of location. Find a rugged area with lots of elbow room and p
lenty of places to hide, like the Rocky Mountains, Florida swamps, Death Valley,
or New York City. Put together a tight band of guerrillas and do your thing. Wi
th luck you will last forever.If you just want to camp out or try some hermit li
ving in the plushest surroundings available, you'll do best to head for one of t
he national parks. Since the parks are federal property, there's very little the
local fuzz can do about you, and the forest rangers are generally the live-and-
let-live types, although there have been increasing reports of long-hairs being
vamped on by Smokey the Pig, as in Yosemite. You can get a complete list from Na
tional Park Service, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20240. The fol
lowing is a list of some good ones: ¥ ALABAMA-Russell Cave National Monument,
Bridgeport 35740
¥ ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National Park, Box 129, Grand Canyon 86023
¥ ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs 71901
¥ CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National Park, Box 577, Yosemite 95389*
¥ COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park, 80517
¥ FLORIDA-Everglades National Park, Box 279, Homestead 33030
¥ IDAHO-Boise National Forest, 413 Idaho Street, Boise 83702
¥ ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg National Bank Building
, Harrisburg 62946 ¥ KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
¥ LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National Forest, 2500 Shreveport Hwy., Pineville 713
60 ¥ MAINE-Acadia National Park, Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
¥ MARYLAND-Assateague Island National Seashore, Rte. 2 Box 111, Berlin 218
11
¥ MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National Seashore, South Wellfleet 02663
¥ MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest, Post Office Building, Escanaba 49829
¥ MISSOURI-Mark Twain National Forest, 304 Pershing St., Springfield 65806
¥ NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation Area, 601 Nevada Hwy, Boulder City
89005
¥ NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National Monument, Route 1, Box 101, Aztec 87410
¥ NEW YORK-Fire Island National Seashore c/o New York City National Park S
ervice Group, 28 E. 20th St., New York, NY 10003
¥ NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers National Memorial Box 457, Manteo 27954
¥ OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park, Box 201, Sulphur 73086
¥ OREGON-Crater Lake National Park, Box 7, Crater Lake 97604
¥ UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon 84717
¥ WYOMING-Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone Park 83020
*This summer Yosemite forest rangers tried to evict a group of Yippies f
rom their encampment. The Yippies rioted in the valley, spooked the tourists, bu
rned cars and fought for their right to stay.Earth People's Park is an endeavor
to purchase land and allow people to come and live for free. They function as a
clearing house for people that want to donate land and those who wish to settle.
They own 600 acres in northern Vermont and are trying to raise money to buy mor
e. Write to Earth People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230 Grant Ave., San Francisco, C
alifornia 94133.People's Parks are sprouting up all over as people reclaim the l
and being ripped off by universities, factories, and corrupt city planning agenc
ies. The model is the People's Park struggle in Berkeley during the spring of 19
69. The people fought to defend a barren parking lot they had turned into a comm
unity center with grass, swings, free-form sculpture and gardens. The University
of California, with the aid of Ronald Reagan and the Berkeley storm troopers, f
ought with guns, clubs and tear gas to regain the land from the outlaw people. T
he pigs killed James Rector and won an empty victory. For now the park is fenced
off, tarred over and converted into unused basketball courts and unused parking
lots. Not one person has violated the oath never to set foot on the site. It st
ands, cold and empty, two blocks north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revol
ution does not survive, all the land will perish under the steam roller of imper
ialism. People's Death Valley will happen in our lifetime.
FREE HOUSING
If you are in a city without a place to stay, ask the first group of hip
-looking folks where you can crash. You might try the office of the local underg
round newspaper. In any hip community, the underground newspaper is generally th
e source of the best up-to-the-moment information. But remember that they are ve
ry busy, and don't impose on them. Many churches now have runaway houses. If you
are under sixteen and can hack some bullshit jive about "adjusting," "opening a
dialogue," and "things aren't that bad," then these are the best deals for free
room and board. Check out the ground rules first, i.e., length of stay allowed,
if they inform your parents or police, facilities and services available. Almos
t always they can be accepted at their word, which is something very sacred to m
issionaries. If they became known as double-crossers, the programs would be fini
shed.Some hip communities have crash pads set up, but these rarely last more tha
n a few months. To give out the addresses we have would be quite impractical. We
have never run across a crash pad that lasted more than a month or so. If in a
cit, try hustling a room at a college dorm. This is especially good in summer or
on week-ends. If you have a sleeping bag, the parks are always good, as is "tar
jungle" or sleeping on the roofs of tall buildings. Local folks will give you s
ome good advice on what to watch out for and information on vagrancy laws which
might help you avoid getting busted.For more permanent needs, squatting is not o
nly free, it's a revolutionary act. If you stay quiet you can stay indefinitely.
If you have community support you may last forever.
COMMUNES
In the city or in the country, communes can be a cheap and enjoyable way
of living. Although urban and rural communes face different physical environmen
ts, they share common group problems. The most important element in communal liv
ing is the people, for the commune will only make it if everyone is fairly compa
tible. A nucleus of 4 to 7 people is best and it is necessary that no member fee
ls extremely hostile to any other member when the commune gets started. The idea
that things will work out later is pig swill. More communes have busted up over
incompatibility than any other single factor. People of similar interests and p
olitical philosophies should live together. One speed freak can wreck almost any
group. There are just too many day-to-day hassles involved living in a commune
to not start off compatible in as many ways as possible. The ideal arrangement i
s for the people to have known each other before they move in together.Once you
have made the opening moves, evening meetings will occasionally be necessary to
divide up the responsibilities and work out the unique problems of a communal fa
mily. Basically, there are two areas that have to be pretty well agreed upon if
the commune is to survive. People's attitudes toward Politics, Sex, Drugs and De
cision-making have to be in fairly close agreement. Then the even most important
decisions about raising the rent, cleaning, cooking and maintenance will have t
o be made. Ground rules for inviting non-members should be worked out before the
first time it happens, as this is a common cause for friction. Another increasi
ngly important issue involves defense. Communes have continually been targets of
attack by the more Neanderthal elements of the surrounding community. In Minnea
polis for example, "headhunts" as they are called are commonplace. You should ha
ve full knowledge of the local gun laws and a collective defense should be worke
d out.Physical attacks are just one way of making war on communes and, hence, ou
r Free Nation. Laws, cops, and courts are there to protect the power and the pro
perty of those that already got the shit. Police harassment, strict enforcement
of health codes and fire regulations and the specially designed anti-commune law
s being passed by town elders, should all be known and understood by the members
of a commune before they even buy or rent property. On all these matters, you s
hould seek out experienced members of communes already established in the vicini
ty you wish to settle. Work out mutual defense arrangements with nearby families
-both legal and extralegal. Remember, not only do you have the right to self-def
ense, but it is your duty to our new Nation to erase the "Easy-Rider-take-any-sh
it" image which invites attack. Let them know you are willing to defend your way
of living and your chances of survival will increase.
URBAN LIVING
If you're headed for city living, the first thing you'll have to do is l
ocate an apartment or loft, an increasingly difficult task. At certain times of
the year, notably June and September, the competition is fierce because of stude
nts leaving or entering school. If you can avoid these two months, you'll have a
better selection. A knowledge of your plans in advance can aid a great deal in
finding an apartment, for the area can be scouted before you move in. Often, if
you know of people leaving a desirable apartment, you can make arrangements with
the landlord, and a deposit will hold the place. If you let them know you're wi
lling to buy their furniture, people will be more willing to give you informatio
n about when they plan to move. Watch out for getting screwed on exorbitant furn
iture swindles by the previous tenants and excessive demands on the part of the
landlords. In most cities, the landlord is not legally allowed to ask for more t
han one month's rent as security. Often the monthly rent itself is regulated by
a city agency. A little checking on the local laws and a visit to the housing ag
ency might prove well worth it.Don't go to a rental agency unless you are willin
g to pay an extra month's rent as a fee. Wanted ads in newspapers and bulletin b
oards located in community centers and supermarkets have some leads. Large unive
rsities have a service for finding good apartments for administrators, faculty a
nd students, in that order. Call the university, say you have just been appointe
d to such-and-such position and you need housing in the area. They will want to
know all your requirements and rent limitations, but often they have very good d
eals available, especially if you've appointed yourself to a high enough positio
n.Aside from these, the best way is to scout a desired area and inquire about fu
ture apartments. Often landlords or rental agencies have control over a number o
f buildings in a given area. You can generally find a nameplate inside the hall
of the building. Calling them directly will let you know of any apartments avail
able.When you get an apartment, furnishing will be the next step. You can double
your sleeping space by building bunk beds. Nail two by fours securely from ceil
ing to floor, about three feet from the walls, where the beds are desired. Then
build a frame out of two by fours at a convenient height. Make sure you use nail
s or screws strong enough to support the weight of people sleeping or balling. N
ail a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood on the frame. Mattresses and almost all furnitur
e needed for your pal can be gotten free (see section on Free Furniture). Silver
ware can be copped at any self-service restaurant.
RURAL LIVING
If you are considering moving to the country, especially as a group, you
are talking about farms and farmland. There are some farms for rent, and occasi
onally a family that has to be away for a year or two will let you live on their
farm if you keep the place in repair. These can be found advertised in the back
of various farming magazines and in the classified sections of newspapers, espe
cially the Sunday editions. Generally speaking, however, if you're interested in
a farm, you should be considering an outright purchase.First, you have to deter
mine in what part of the country you want to live in terms of the climate you pr
efer and how far away from the major cities you wish to locate. The least popula
ted states, such as Utah, Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana and the like, have the che
apest prices and the lowest tax rates. The more populated a state, and in turn,
the closer to a city, the higher the commercial value of the land.There are hund
reds of different types of farms, so the next set of questions you'll have to ra
ise concerns the type of farm activity you'll want to engage in. Cattle farms ar
e different than vegetable farms or orchards. Farms come in sizes: from half an
acre to ranches larger than the state of Connecticut. They will run in price fro
m $30 to $3000 an acre, with the most expensive being prime farmland in fertile
river valleys located close to an urban area. The further away from the city and
the further up a hill, the cheaper the land gets. It also gets woodier, rockier
and steeper, which means less tillable land.If you are talking of living in a f
arm house and maybe having a small garden and some livestock for your own use, w
ith perhaps a pond on the property, you are looking for what is called a recreat
ional farm. When you buy a recreational farm, naturally you are interested in th
e house, barn, well, fences, chicken-coop, corrals, woodsheds and other physical
structures on the property. Unless these are in unusually good condition or uni
que, they do not enter into the sale price as major factors. It is the land itse
lf that is bought and sold.Farmland is measured in acreage; an acre being slight
ly more than 43,560 square feet. The total area is measured in 40-acre plots. Th
us, if a farmer or a real estate agent says he has a plot of land down the road,
he means a 40-acre farm. Farms are generally measured this way, with an average
recreational farm being 160 acres in size or an area covering about 1/2 square
mile. A reasonable rate for recreational farmland 100 miles from a major city wi
th good water and a livable house would be about $50 per acre. For a 160-acre fa
rm, it would be $8,000, which is not an awful lot considering what you are getti
ng. For an overall view, get the free catalogues and brochures provided by the U
nited Farm Agency, 612 W. 47th St., Kansas City, Mo. 64112.Now that you have a r
ough idea of where and what type of farm you want, you can begin to get more spe
cific. Check out the classified section in the Sunday newspaper of the largest c
ity near your desired location. Get the phone book and call or write to real est
ate agencies in the vicinity. Unlike the city, where there is a sellers' market,
rural estate agents collect their fee from the seller of the property, so you w
on't have to worry about the agent's fee.When you have narrowed down the choices
, the next thing you'll want to look at is the plot book for the county. The plo
t book has all the farms in each township mapped out. lt also shows terrain vari
ations, type of housing on the land, location of rivers, roads and a host of oth
er pertinent information. Road accessibility, especially in the winter, is an im
portant factor. If the farms bordering the one you have selected are abandoned o
r not in full use, then for all intents and purposes, you have more land than yo
u are buying.After doing all this, you are prepared to go look at the farm itsel
f. Notice the condition of the auxiliary roads leading to the house. You'll want
an idea of what sections of the land are tillable. Make note of how many boulde
rs you'll have to clear to do some planting. Also note how many trees there are
and to what extent the brush has to be cut down. Be sure and have a good idea of
the insect problems you can expect. Mosquitoes or flies can bug the shit out of
you. Feel the soil where you plan to have a garden and see how rich it is. If t
here are fruit trees, check their condition. Taste the water. Find out if hunter
s or tourists come through the land. Examine the house. The most important thing
s are the basement and the roof. In the basement examine the beams for dry rot a
nd termites. See how long it will be before the roof must be replaced. Next chec
k the heating system, the electrical wiring and the plumbing. Then you'll want t
o know about services such as schools, snow plowing, telephones, fire department
and finally about your neighbors. If the house is beyond repair, you might stil
l want the farm, especially if you are good at carpentry. Cabins, A-Frames, dome
s and tepees are all cheaply constructed with little experience. Get the materia
ls from your nearest military installation.Finally, check out the secondary stru
ctures on the land to see how usable they are. If there is a pond, you'll want t
o see how deep it is for swimming. If there are streams, you'll want to know abo
ut the fishing possibilities; and if large wooded areas, the hunting.In negotiat
ing the final sales agreement, you should employ a lawyer. You'll also want to c
heck out the possibility of negotiating a bank loan for the farm. Don't forget t
hat you have to pay taxes on the land, so inquire from the previous owner or age
nt as to the tax bill. Usually, you can count on paying about $50 annually per 4
0-acre plot.Finally, check out the federal programs available in the area. If yo
u can learn the ins and outs of the government programs, you can rip off plenty.
The Feed-Grain Program of the Department of Agriculture pays you not to grow gr
ain. The Cotton Subsidy Program pays you not to grow cotton. Also look into the
Soil Bank Program of the United States Development Association and various Depar
tment of Forestry programs which pay you to plant trees. Between not planting co
tton and planting trees, you should be able to manage.
LIST OF COMMUNES
The most complete list of city and country communes is available for $1.00 from
Alternatives Foundation, Modern Utopian, 1526 Gravensteur Highway North, Sebasto
pol, California 95427. The phone is (707) 823-6168. The list is kept up to date.
For all communes, you must write in advance if you plan to visit. Almost every
commune will give you information about the local conditions and the problems th
ey face if you write them a letter. Here is a list of some you might like to wri
te to for more information. Avoid becoming a free-loader on your sisters and bro
thers.
¥ California
- ALTERNATIVES FOUNDATION-Box 1264, Berkeley, California 94709. (Dick Fa
irfield) Communal living, total sexuality, peak experience training centers. Ded
icated to the cybernated-tribal society.
- BHODAN CENTER OF INQUIRY-Sierra Route, Oakhurst, California 93644. Pho
ne (209) 683-4976.. (Charles Davis) Seminars on Human Community, IC development
on the land, founded 1934, 13 members. Trial period for new members. Visitors ch
eck in advance.
¥ Colorado
- DROP CITY-Rt. 1, Box 125, Trinidad, Colorado 81082. Founded 1965. New
members must meet specific criteria. Anarchist, artist, dome houses.
¥ New Mexico
- LAMA FOUNDATION-Box 444, San Cristobal, N.M.
¥ New York
- CITY ISLAND COMMUNE-284 City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. Visitors check
in advance. Revolutionary.
- ATLANTIS I-RFD 5, Box 22A, Saugerties, NY 12477. Visitors and new memb
ers welcome.
¥ Oregon
- FAMILY OF MYSTIC ARTS--Box 546, Sunny Valley, Oregon
¥ Pennsylvania
- TANGUY HOMESTEADS-West Chester, Pennsylvania. Suburban, non-sectarian,
co-op housing and community fellowship.
¥ Washington
- MAGIC MOUNTAIN-52nd and 19th Streets, Seattle, Washington. (c/o Miriam
Roder).
FREE EDUCATION
Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tel
l you it's to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the de
gree so that they can get ahead in the rat race. Too many college radicals are t
wo-timing punks. The only reason you should be in college is to destroy it. If t
here is stuff that you want to learn though, there is a way to get a college edu
cation absolutely free. Simply send away for the schedule of courses at the coll
ege of your choice. Make up the schedule you want and audit the classes. In smal
ler classes this might be a problem, but even then, if, the teacher is worth any
thing at all, he'll let you stay. In large classes, no one will ever object.If y
ou need books for a course, write to the publisher claiming you are a lecturer a
t some school and considering using their book in your course. They will always
send you free books.There are Free Universities springing up all over our new Na
tion. Anybody can teach any course. People sign up for the courses and sometimes
pay a token registration fee. This money is used to publish a catalogue and pay
the rent. If you're on welfare you don't have to pay. You can take as many or a
s few courses as you want. Classes are held everywhere: in the instructor's hous
e, in the park, on the beach, at one of the student's houses or in liberated bui
ldings. Free Universities offer courses ranging from Astrology to the Use of Fir
earms. The teaching is usually of excellent quality and you'll learn in a commun
ity-type atmosphere.
LIST OF FREE UNIVERSITIES
¥ Alternative University-69 W. 14th St., New York, NY 10011 (catalogue on
request)
¥ Baltimore Free U-c/o Harry, 233 E. 25th St., Baltimore, Maryland 21218
¥ Berkeley Free U-1703 Grove St., Berkeley, California 94709
¥ Bowling Green Free U-c/o Student Council, University of Bowling Green, B
owling Green Ohio 43402
¥ Colorado State Free U-Box 12-Fraisen, Colorado State College, Greeley, C
olorado 80631 ¥ Detroit Area Free U-Student Union, 4001 W. McNichols Rd., Detroi
t, Michigan 48221
¥ Detroit Area Free U-343 University Center, Wayne State University, Detro
it, Mich.
¥ Georgetown Free U-Loyola Bldg., 28, Georgetown University Washington D.C
. 20007
¥ Golden Gate Free U-2120 Market St., Rm. 206, San Francisco, California 9
4114
¥ Heliotrope-2201 Filbert, San Francisco, California 94118
¥ Illinois Free U-298A Illini Union, University of Illinois, Champaign, Il
linois 61820
¥ Kansas Free U-107 W. 7th St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044
¥ Knox College Free U-Galesbury, Illinois 60401
¥ Madison Free U-c/o P. Carroll, 1205 Shorewood Blvd., Madison, Wisconsin
53705
¥ Metropolitan State Free U-Associated Students, 1345 Banrock St., Denver,
Colorado 80204 ¥ Michigan State Free U-Associated Students, Student Servi
ce Bldg., Michigan State College, East Lansing, Michigan 48823
¥ Mid-Peninsula Free U-1060 El Camino Real, Menlo Park, California 94015
¥ Minnesota Free U-1817 S. 3rd St., Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
¥ Monterey Peninsula Free U-2120 Etna Place, Monterey, California
New Free U-Box ALL 303, Santa Barbara, California 93107
¥ Northwest Free U-Box 1255, Bellingham, Washington 98225
¥ Ohio-Wesleyan Free U-Box 47-Welsh Hall, Ohio Wesleyan University, Deleva
n, Ohio 43015 ¥ Pittsburgh Free U-4401 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 1521
3Rutgers Free U-Rutgers College, Student Center, 1 Lincoln Ave., Newar
k, NJ 07102
¥ St. Louis Free U-c/o Student Congress, 3rd floor BMC, St. Louis Universi
ty, St. Louis, Missouri 63103
¥ San Luis Obispo Free U-Box 1305, San Luis Obispo, California 94301
¥ Santa Cruz Free U-604 River St., Santa Cruz, California 95060
¥ Seattle Free U-4144¸ University Way NE, Seattle, Washington 98105 ¥ Southern
Illinois Free U-Carbondale, Illinois 62901
¥ Valley Free U-2045 N. Wishon Ave., Fresno, California 93704
¥ Washington Area Free U-5519 Prospect Place, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015
and 1854 Park Rd. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
¥ Wayne-Locke Free U-Student Congress, University of Texas, Arlington, Tex
as 76010
And a complete list of experimental schools, free universities, free sch
ools, can be obtained by sending one dollar to ALTERNATIVES! 1526 Gravenstein Hi
ghway N., Sebastopol, California 97452, and requesting the Directory of Free Sch
ools.
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Due to the efforts of the Medical Committee for Human Rights, the Studen
t Health Organization and other progressive elements among younger doctors and n
urses. Free People's Clinics have been happening in every major city. They usual
ly operate out of store fronts and are staffed with volunteer help. An average c
linic can handle fifty patients a day.If you've had an accident or have an acute
illness, even a bad cold, check into the emergency room of any hospital. Given
them a sob story complete with phony name and address. After treatment they pres
ent you with a slip and direct you to the cashier. Just walk on by, as the song
suggests. A good decoy is to ask for the washroom. After waiting there a few mom
ents, split. If you're caught sneaking out, tell them you ran out of the house w
ithout your wallet. Ask them to bill you at your phony address. This billing pro
cedure works in both hospital emergency rooms and clinics. You can keep going ba
ck for repeated visits up to three months before the cashier's office tells the
doctor about your fractured payments.You can get speedy medical advice and avoid
emergency room delays by calling the hospital, asking for the emergency unit an
d speaking directly to the doctor over the phone. Older doctors frown on this pr
ocedure since they cannot extort their usual exorbitant fee over the phone. Youn
ger ones generally do not share this hang-up.Cities usually have free clinics fo
r a variety of special ailments. Tuberculosis Clinics, Venereal Disease Clinics,
and Free Shot Clinics (yellow fever, polio, tetanus, etc.) are some of the more
common. A directory of these clinics and other free health services the local c
ommunity provides can be obtained by writing your Chamber of Commerce or local H
ealth Department.Most universities have clinics connected with their dental, opt
ometry or other specialized medical schools. If not for free, then certainly for
very low rates, you can get dental work repaired, eyeglasses fitted and treatme
nt of other specific health needs.Free psychiatric treatment can often be gotten
at the out-patient department of any mental hospital. Admission into these hosp
itals is free, but a real bummer. Use them as a last resort only. Some cities ha
ve a suicide prevention center and if you are desperate and need help, call them
. Your best choice in a psychiatric emergency is to go to a large general hospit
al, find the emergency unit and ask to see the psychiatrist on duty.
BIRTH CONTROL CLINICS
Planned Parenthood and the Family Planning Association staff numerous fr
ee birth control clinics throughout the country. They provide such services as s
ex education, examinations, Pap smear and birth control information and devices.
The devices include pills, a diaphragm, or IUD (intra-uterine device) which the
y will insert. If you are unmarried and under 18, you might have to talk to a so
cial worker, but it's no sweat because anybody gets contraceptive devices that w
ants them. Call up and ask them to send you their booklets on the different meth
ods of birth control available.If you would rather go to a private doctor, try t
o find out from a friend the name of a hip gynecologist, who is sympathetic to t
he fact that you're low on bread. Otherwise one visit could cost $25.00 or more.
Before deciding on a contraceptive, you should be hip to some general informatio
n. There has been much research on the pill, and during the past 10 years it has
proven its effectiveness, if not is safety. The two most famous name brands are
Ortho-Novum and Envoid. They all require a doctor's prescription. Different typ
e pills are accompanied by slightly different instructions, so read the directio
ns carefully. In many women, the pills produce side effects such as weight incre
ase, dizziness or nausea. Sometimes the pill affects your vision and more often
your mood. Some women with specialized blood diseases are advised not to use the
m, but in general, women have little or no trouble. Different brand names have d
ifferent hormonal balances (progesterone-estrogen). If you get uncomfortable sid
e effects, insist that your doctor switch your brand. If you stop the pill metho
d for any reason and don't want to get pregnant, be very careful to use another
means right away.Another contraceptive device becoming more popular is the IUD,
or the loop. It is a small plastic or stainless steel irregularly-shaped spring
that the doctor inserts inside the opening of the uterus. The insertion is not w
ithout pain, but it's safe if done by a physician, and it's second only to the p
ill in prevention of pregnancy. Once it's in place, you can forget about it for
a few years or until you wish to get pregnant. Doctors are reluctant to prescrib
e them for women who have not borne children or had an abortion, because of the
intense pain that accompanies insertion. But if you can stand the pain associate
d with three to four uterine contractions, you should push the doctor for this m
ethod. Inserting it during the last day of your period will make it easier.The d
iaphragm is a round piece of flexible rubber about 2 inches in diameter with a h
ard rubber rim on the outside. It used to be inserted just before the sex act, b
ut hip doctors now recommend that it be worn continuously and taken out every fe
w days for washing and also during the menstrual period. It is most effective wh
en used with a sperm-killing jelly or cream. A doctor will fit you for a proper
size diaphragm.The next best method is the foams that you insert twenty minutes
before fucking. The best foams available are Delfen and Emko. They have the adva
ntage of being nonprescription items so you can rush into any drug store and pic
k up a dispenser when the spirit moves you. Follow the directions carefully. Unf
ortunately, these foams taste terrible and are not available in flavors. It just
shows you how far science has to go.Another device is the prophylactic, or rubb
er as it is called. This is the only device available to men. It is a thin rubbe
r sheath that fits over the penis. Because they are subject to breaking and slid
ing off, their effectiveness is not super great. If you are forced to use them,
the best available are lubricated sheepskins with a reservoir tip.The rhythm met
hod or Vatican roulette as it is called by hip Catholics, is a waste unless you
are ready to surround yourself with thermometers, graphs and charts. You also ha
ve to limit your fucking to prescribed days. Even with all these precautions, wo
men have often gotten pregnant using the rhythm method.The oldest and least effe
ctive method is simply for the male to pull out just before he comes. There are
billions of sperm cells in each ejaculation and only one is needed to fertilize
the woman's egg and cause a pregnancy. Most of the sperm is in the first squirt,
so you had better be quick if you employ this technique.If the woman misses her
period she shouldn't panic. It might be delayed because of emotional reasons. J
ust wait two weeks before going to a doctor or clinic for a pregnancy test. When
you go, be sure to bring your first morning urine specimen.
ABORTIONS
The best way to find out about abortions is to contact your local woman'
s liberation organization through your underground newspaper or radio station. S
ome Family Planning Clinics and even some liberal churches set up abortions, but
these might run as high as $700. Underground newspapers often have ads that rea
d "Any girl in trouble call - -," or something similar. The usual rate for an ab
ortion is about $500 and it's awful hard to bargain when you need one badly. Onl
y go to a physician who is practicing or might have just lost his license. Forge
t the stereotype image of these doctors as they are performing a vital service.
Friends who have had an abortion can usually recommend a good doctor and fill yo
u in on what's going to happen.Abortions are very minor operations if done corre
ctly. They can be done almost any time, but after three months, it's no longer s
o casual and more surgical skill is required. Start making plans as soon as you
find out. The sooner the better, in terms of the operation.Get a pregnancy test
at a clinic. If it is positive and you want an abortion, start that day to make
plans. If you get negative results from the test and still miss your period, hav
e a gynecologist perform an examination if you are still worried.If you cannot a
rrange an abortion through woman's liberation, Family Planning, a sympathetic cl
ergyman or a friend who has had one, search out a liberal hospital and talk to o
ne of their social workers. Almost all hospitals perform "therapeutic" abortions
. Tell a sob story about the desertion of your boy friend or that you take LSD e
very day or that defects run in your family. Act mentally disturbed. If you qual
ify, you can get an abortion that will be free under Medicaid or other welfare m
edical plans. The safest form of abortion is the vacuum-curettage method, but no
t all doctors are hip to it. It is safer and quicker with less chance of complic
ations than the old-fashioned scrape method.Many states have recently passed lib
eralized abortion laws, such as New York* (by far the most extensive), Hawaii an
d Maryland, due to the continuing pressure of radical women. The battle for abor
tion and certainly for free abortion is far from over even in the states with li
beral laws. They are far too expensive for the ten to twenty minute minor operat
ion involved and the red tape is horrendous. Free abortions must be look-on as a
fundamental right, not a sneaky, messy trauma.*There is a residence requirement
for New York but using a friend's New York address at the hospital will be good
enough. The procedure takes only a few days and costs between $200 and $500, de
pending on the place. The best advice is to call one of the New York Abortion Re
ferral Services or Birth Control Groups listed in the New York Directory section
.
DISEASES TREATED FREE
Syph and Clap (syphilis and gonorrhea) are two diseases that they are ea
sy to pick up. They come from balling. Anyone who claims they got it from sittin
g on a toilet seat must have a fondness for weird positions.Both men and women a
re subject to the diseases. Using a prophylactic usually will prevent the spread
ing of venereal disease, but you should really seek to have it cured. Syphilis u
sually begins with an infection which may look like a cold sore or pimple around
the sex organ. There is no pain associated with the lesions. Soon the sore disa
ppears even without treatment. This is often followed by a period of rashes on t
he body (especially the palms of the hands) and inflammation of the mouth and th
roat. These symptoms also disappear without treatment. It must be understood, ho
wever, that even if these symptoms disappear, the disease still remains if left
untreated. It can cause serious trouble such as heart disease, blindness, insani
ty and paralysis. Also, it can fuck up any kids you might produce and is easily
passed on to anyone you ball.Gonorrhea (clap) is more common than syphilis. Its
first signs are a discharge from your sex organ that is painful. Like syphilis,
it affects both men and women, but is often unnoticed in women. There is usually
itching and burning associated with the affected area. It can leave you sterile
if left untreated.Both these venereal diseases can be treated in a short time w
ith attention. Avail yourself of the free V.D. clinics in every town. Follow the
doctor's instructions to the letter and try to let the other people you've had
sexual contact with know you had VD.There are other fungus diseases that resembl
e syphilis or gonorrhea, but are relatively harmless. Check out every infection
in your crotch area, especially those with open sores or an unusual discharge an
d you'll be safe.Crabs are not harmful, but they can make you scratch your crotc
h for hours on end. They are also highly transmittable by balling. Actually they
are a form of body lice and easy to cure. Go to your local druggist and ask him
for the best remedy available. He'll give you one of several lotions and instru
ctions for proper use. We recommend Kwell.A common disease in the hip community
is hepatitis. There are two kinds. One you get from sticking dirty needles in yo
ur arm (serum hepatitis) and the other more common strain from eating infected f
ood or having intimate contact with an infected carrier (infectious hepatitis).
The symptoms for both are identical; yellowish skin and eyes, dark piss and ligh
t crap, loss of appetite and total listlessness. Hep is a very dangerous disease
that can cause a number of permanent conditions, including death, which is extr
emely permanent. It should be treated by a doctor, often in a hospital.
FREE COMMUNICATION
If you don't like the news, why not go out and make your own? Creating f
ree media depends to a large extent on your imagination and ability to follow th
rough on ideas. The average Amerikan is exposed to over 1,600 commercials each d
ay. Billboards, glossy ads and television spots make up much of the word environ
ment they live in. To crack through the word mush means creating new forms of fr
ee communication. Advertisements for revolution are important in helping to educ
ate and mold the milieu of people you wish to win over.Guerrilla theater events
are always good news items and if done right, people will remember them forever.
Throwing out money at the Stock Exchange or dumping soot on executives at Con E
dison or blowing up the policeman statue in Chicago immediately conveys an easil
y understood message by using the technique of creative disruption. Recently to
dramatize the illegal invasion of Cambodia, 400 Yippies stormed across the Canad
ian border in an invasion of the United States. They threw paint on store window
s and physically attacked residents of Blair, Washington. A group of Vietnam vet
erans marched in battle gear from Trenton to Valley Forge. Along the way they pe
rformed mock attacks on civilians the way they were trained to do in Southeast A
sia.Dying all the outdoor fountains red and then sending a message to the newspa
per explaining why you did it, dramatizes the idea that blood is being shed need
lessly in imperialist wars. A special metallic bonding glue available from Eastm
an-Kodak will form a permanent bond in only 45 seconds. Gluing up locks of all t
he office buildings in your town is a great way to dramatize the fact that our b
rothers and sisters are being jailed all the time. Then, of course, there are al
ways explosives which dramatically make your point and then some.
PRESS CONFERENCES
Another way of using the news to advertise the revolution and make propa
ganda is to call a press, conference. Get an appropriate place that has some rel
ationship to the content of your message. Send out announcements to as many memb
ers of the press as you can. If you do not have a press list, you can make one u
p by looking through the Yellow Pages under Newspapers, Radio Stations, Televisi
on Stations, Magazines and Wire Services. Check out your list with other groups
and pick up names of reporters who attend movement press conferences. Address a
special invitation to them as well as one to their newspaper. Address the announ
cements to "City Desk" or "'News Department." Schedule the press conference for
about 11:00 A.M. as this allows the reporters to file the story in time for the
evening newscast or papers. On the day of the scheduled conference, call the imp
ortant city desks or reporters about 9:00 A.M. and remind them to come.Everythin
g about a successful press conference must be dramatic, from the announcements a
nd phone calls to the statements themselves. Nothing creates a worse image than
four or five men in business suits sitting behind a table and talking in a calm
manner at a fashionable hotel. Constantly seek to have every detail of the press
conference differ in style as well as content from the conferences of people in
power. Make use of music and visual effects. Don't stiffen up before the press.
Make the statement as short and to the point as possible. Don't read from notes
, look directly into the camera. The usual television spot is one minute and twe
nty seconds. The cameras start buzzing on your opening statement and often run o
ut of film before you finish. So make it brief and action packed. The question p
eriod should be even more dramatic. Use the questioner's first name when answeri
ng a question. This adds an air of informality and networks are more apt to use
an answer directed personally to one of their newsmen. Express your emotional fe
elings. Be funny, get angry, be sad or ecstatic. If you cannot convey that you a
re deeply excited or troubled or outraged about what you are saying, how do you
expect it of others who are watching a little image box in their living room? Re
member, you are advertising a new way of life to people. Watch TV commercials. S
ee how they are able to convey everything they need to be effective in such a sh
ort time and limited space. At the same tune you're mocking the shit they are pu
shing, steal their techniques.At rock concerts, during intermission or at the en
d of the performance, fight your way to the stage.COMMUNICATIONAnnounce that if
the electricity is cut off the walls will be torn down. This galvanizes the audi
ence and makes the owners of the hall the villains if they fuck around. Lay out
a short exciting rap on what's coming down. Focus on a call around one action. S
ometimes it might be good to engage rock groups in dialogues about their commitm
ent to the revolution. Interrupting the concert is frowned upon since it is only
spitting in the faces of the people you are trying to reach. Use the Culture as
ocean to swim in. Treat it with care.Sandwich boards and hand-carried signs are
effective advertisements. You can stand on a busy corner and hold up a sign say
ing "Apartment Needed," "Free Angela," "Smash the State" or other slogans. They
can be written on dollar bills, envelopes that are being mailed and other items
that are passed from person to person.Take a flashlight with a large face to mov
ie theaters and other dark public gathering places. Cut the word "STRIKE" or "RE
VOLT" or "YIPPIE" out of dark cellophane. Paste the stencil over the flashlight,
thus allowing you to project the word on a distant wall.There are a number of a
ll night call-in shows that have a huge audience. If you call with what the mod
erator considers "exciting controversy," he may give you a special number so you
won't have to compete in the switchboard roller-derby. It often can take hours
before you get through to these shows. Here's a trick that will help you out if
the switchboard is jammed. The call-in shows have a series of hones so that when
one is busy the next will take the call. Usually the numbers run in sequence. S
ay a station gives out PL 5-8640, as the number to call. That means it also uses
PL 5-8641, PL 5-8642 and so on. If you get a busy signal, hang up and try calli
ng PL S-8647 say. This trick works in a variety of situations where you wa
nt to get a call through a busy switchboard. Remember it for airline and bus inf
ormation.
WALL PAINTING
One of the best forms of free communication is painting messages on a bl
ank wall. The message must be short and bold. You want to be able to paint it on
before the pigs come and yet have it large enough so that people can see it at
a distance. Cans of spray paint that you can pick up at any hardware store work
best. Pick spots that have lot of traffic. Exclamation points are good for empha
sis. If you are writing the same message, make a stencil. You can make a stencil
that says WAR and spray it on with white paint under the word "STOP" on stop si
gns. You can stencil a five-pointed star and using yellow paint, spray it on the
dividing line between the red and blue on all post office boxes. This simulates
the flag of the National Liberation Front of Vietnam. You can stencil a marijua
na leaf and using green paint, spray it over cigarette and whisky billboards on
buses and subways. The women's liberation sign with red paint is good for sexist
ads. Sometimes you will wish to exhibit great daring in your choice of locati
ons. When the Vietnamese hero Nguyen Van Troi was executed, the Viet Cong put up
a poster the next day on the exact spot inside the highest security prison in t
he country.Wall postering allows you to get more information before the public t
han a quickly scribbled slogan. Make sure the surface is smooth or finely porous
. Smear the back of the poster with condensed milk, spread on with a brush, spon
ge, rag or your hands. Condensed milk dries very fast and hard. Also smear some
on the front once the poster is up to give protection against the weather and bu
sy fingers that like to pull at corners. Wallpaper pastes also work quickly and
efficiently. It's best to work both painting and postering at night with a look-
out. This way you can work the best spots without being harassed by the pig patr
ol, which is usually unappreciative of Great Art.
USE OF THE FLAG
The generally agreed upon flag of our nation is black with a red, five p
ointed star behind a green marijuana leaf in the center. It is used by groups th
at understand the correct use of culture and symbolism in a revolutionary strugg
le. When displayed, it immediately increases the feelings of solidarity between
our brothers and sisters. High school kids have had great fights over which flag
to salute in school. A sign of any liberated zone is the flag being flown. Rock
concerts and festivals have their generally apolitical character instantly chan
ged when the flag is displayed. The political theoreticians who do not recognize
the flag and the importance of the culture it represents are ostriches who are
ignorant of basic human nature. Throughout history people have fought for religi
on, life-style, land, a flag (nation), because they were ordered to, for fortune
, because they were attacked or for the hell of it. If you don't think the flag
is important, ask the hardhats.
RADIO
Want to construct your own neighborhood radio station? You can get a car
rier-current transmitter designed by a group of brothers and sisters called Radi
o Free People. No FCC license is required for the range is less than 1/2 mile. T
he small transistorized units plug into any wall outlet. Write Radio Free People
, 133 Mercer St., New York, New York 10012 for more details. For further informa
tion see the chapter on Guerrilla Broadcasting later in the book.
FREE TELEPHONES
Ripping off the phone company is so common that Bell Telephone has a spe
cial security division that tries to stay just a little ahead of the average fre
e-loader. Many great devices like the coat hanger release switch have been scrap
ped because of changes in the phone box. Even the credit card fake-out is doomed
to oblivion as the company switches to more computerized techniques. ln our opi
nion, as long as there is a phone company, and as long as there are outlaws, nob
ody need ever pay for a call. In 1969 alone the phone company estimated that ove
r 10 million dollars worth of free calls were placed from New York City. Nothing
, however, compares with the rip-off of the people by the phone company. In that
same year, American Telephone and Telegraph made a profit of 8.6 billion dollar
s! AT&T, like all public utilities, passes itself off as a service owned by the
people, while in actuality nothing could be further from the truth. Only a small
percentage of the public owns stock in these companies and a tiny elite clique
makes all the policy decisions. Ripping-off the phone company is an act of revol
utionary love, so help spread the word.
PAY PHONES
You can make a local 10 cent call for 2 cents by spitting on the pennies
and dropping them in the nickel slot. As soon as they are about to hit the trig
ger mechanism, bang the coin-return button. Another way is to spin the pennies c
ounter-clockwise into the nickel slot. Hold the penny in the slot with your fing
er and snap it spinning with a key or other flat object. Both systems take a cer
tain knack, but once you've perfected the technique, you'll always have it in yo
ur survival kit.If two cents is too much, how about a call for 1 penny? Cut a 1/
4 strip off the telephone book cover. Insert the cardboard strip into the dime s
lot as far as it will go. Drop a penny in the nickel slot until it catches in th
e mechanism (spinning will help). Then slowly pull the strip out until you hear
the dial tone.A number 14 brass washer with a small piece of scotch tape over on
e side of the hole will not only get a free call, but works in about any vending
machine that takes dimes. You can get a box of thousands for about a dollar at
any hardware store. You should always have a box around for phones, laundromats,
parking meters and drink machines.Bend a bobby pin after removing the plastic f
rom the tips and jab it down into the transmitter (mouthpiece). When it presses
against the metal diaphragm, rub it on a metal wall or pipe to ground it. When y
ou've made contact you'll hear the dial tone. If the phone uses old-fashioned ru
bber black tubing to enclose the wires running from the headset to the box, you
can insert a metal tack through the tubing, wiggle it around a little until it m
akes contact with the bare wires and touch the tack to a nearby metal object for
grounding.Put a dime in the phone, dial the operator and tell her you have ten
cents credit. She'll return your dime and get your call for free. If she asks wh
y, say you made a call on another pay phone, lost the money, and the operator to
ld you to switch phones and call the credit operator.This same method works for
long distance calls. Call the operator and find out the rate for your call. Hang
up and call another operator telling her you just dialed San Francisco direct,
got a wrong number and lost $.95 or whatever it is. She will get your call free
of charge.If there are two pay phones next to each other, you can call long dist
ance on one and put the coins in the other. When the operator cuts in and asks y
ou to deposit money, drop the coins into the one you are not using, but hold the
receiver up to the slots so the operator can hear the bells ring. When you've f
inished, you can simply press the return button on the phone with the coins in i
t and out they come. If you have a good tape recorder you can record the sounds
of a quarter, dime and nickel going into a pay phone and play them for the opera
tor in various combinations when she asks for the money. Turn the volume up as l
oud as you can get it.You can make a long distance call and charge it to a phone
number. Simply tell the operator you want to bill the call to your home phone b
ecause you don't have the correct change. Tell her there is no one there now to
verify the call, but you will be home in an hour and she can call you then if th
ere is any question. Make sure the exchange goes with the area you say it does.A
lways have a number of made-up credit card numbers. The code letter for 1970 is
S, then seven digits of the phone number and a three digit district number (not
the same as area code). The district number should be under 599. Example: S-573-
2100-421 or S-537-3402-035. Look up the phone numbers for your area by simply re
questing a credit card for your home phone which is very easy to get and then us
ing the last three numbers with another phone number. Usually making up exotic n
umbers from far away places will work quite well as it would be impossible for a
n operator to spot a phony number in the short time she has to check her list.We
advise against making phony credit card calls on a home phone. We have seen a g
adget that you install between the wall socket and the cord which not only allow
s you to receive all the calls you want for free, but eliminates the most common
form of electronic bugging. They are being manufactured and sold for fifty doll
ars by a disgruntled telephone engineer in Massachusetts. Unfortunately you are
going to have to find him on your own or duplicate his efforts, for he has sworn
us to secrecy. If someone does, however, offer you such a device, it probably d
oes work. Test it by installing it and having someone call you from a pay phone.
If it's working, the person should get their dime back at the end of the call.A
ctually if you know the slightest information about wiring, you can have your p
resent phone disconnected on the excuse that you'll be leaving town for a few mo
nths and then connect the wires into the main trunk lines on your own. Extension
s can easily be attached to your main line without the phone company knowing abo
ut it.You can make all the free long distance calls you want by calling your par
ty collect at a pay phone. Just have your friend go to a prearranged phone booth
at a prearranged time. This can be done on the spot by having the friend call y
ou person to person. Say you're not in, but ask for the number calling you since
you'll be "back" in five minutes. Once you get the number simply hang up, wait
a moment and call back your friend collect. The call has to be out of the state
to work, since operators are familiar with the special extension numbers assigne
d to pay phones for her area and possibly for nearby areas as well. If she asks
you if it is a pay phone say no. If she finds out during the call (which rarely
happens) and informs you of this, simply say you didn't expect the party to have
a pay phone in his house and accept the charges. We have never heard of this ha
ppening though. The trick of calling person-to-person collect should always be u
sed when calling long distance on home-to-home phones also. You can hear the voi
ce of your friend saying that he'll be back in a few minutes. Simply hang up, wa
it a moment and call station to station, thereby getting a person-to-person call
without the extra charges which can be considerable on a long call during busin
ess hours.If you plan to stay at your present address for only a few more months
, stop paying the bill and call like crazy. After a month you get the regular bi
ll which you avoid paying. Another month goes by and the next bill comes with la
st month's balance added to it. Shortly thereafter you get a note advising you t
hat your service will be terminated in ten days if you don't pay the bill. Wait
a few days and send them a five or ten dollar money order with a note saying you
've had an accident and are pressed for funds because of large medical bills, bu
t you'll send them the balance as soon as you are up and around again. That will
hold them for another month. In all, you can stretch it out for four or five mo
nths with a variety of excuses and small payments. This also works with the gas
and electric companies and with any department stores you conned into letting yo
u charge.You can get the service deposit reduced to half of the normal rate if y
ou are a student or have other special qualifications. Surprisingly, these rates
and discounts vary from area to area, so check around before you go into the bu
siness office for your phone. There is an incredible 50 cents charge per month f
or not having your phone listed. If you want an unlisted phone, you can avoid th
is fee by having the phone listed in a fictitious name, even if the bill is sent
to you. Just say you want your roommate's name listed instead of your own.
FREE PLAY
MOVIES AND CONCERTS
There are many ways to sneak into theaters, concerts, stadiums and other
entertainment houses. All these places have numerous fire exits with push-bar d
oors that open easily from the inside. Arrive early with a group of friends, aft
er casing the joint and selecting the most convenient exit. Pay for one person t
o get in. When he does he simply opens the designated exit door when the ushers
are out of the area and everyone rushes inside.For theatrical chains in large ci
ties, call their home office and ask to speak to the vice-president in charge of
publicity, sales, or personnel. Ask what his name is so you'll know who you're
talking to. When you get the information you want, hang up. Now you have the nam
e of a high official in the company. Compile a short list of officials in the va
rious film, theater and sporting event companies. Next all the various theaters
and do the same thing for the theater managers. Once you have the two lists you
are ready to proceed. Call the theater you want to attend. When someone answers
say you're Mr. __________ from the home office calling Mr. __________ (manager's
name) and you'd like to have two passes O.K'd for two important people from out
of town. Invariably she'll just ask their names or tell them to mention your na
me at the box office. Not only will you get in free, but you can avoid waiting i
n line with this fake-out.In Los Angeles and New York, the studios hold pre-rele
ase screenings for all movies. If you know roughly when a movie is about to come
out, call the publicity department of the studio producing the film and say you
're the critic for a newspaper or magazine (give the name) and ask them when you
can screen the film. They'll give you the time and place of various screenings.
When you go, ask them to put you on their list and you'll get notices of all fu
ture screenings.One of our favorite ways to sneak into a theater with continuous
ly running shows is the following. Arrive just as the show is emptying out and j
oin the line leaving the theater. Exclaiming, "Oh, my gosh!" you slap your foreh
ead, turn around and return, tell the usher you left your hat, pocketbook, etc.
inside. Once you're inside the theater, just swipe some popcorn and wait for the
next show.
RECORDS AND BOOKS
If you have access to a few addresses, you can get all kinds of records
and books from clubs on introductory offers. Since the cards you mail back are n
ot signed there is no legal way you can be held for the bill. You get all sorts
of threatening mail, which, by the way, also comes free.If you have a friend who
is a member of a record club, ask him to submit your name as a free member. He
gets 4 free records for getting you signed up. A soon as you get the letter sayi
ng how lucky you are to be a member, quit. Your friend's free records have alrea
dy been shipped. We used to have at least 10 different names and addresses worki
ng on all the record and book companies. Every other day we would ride around co
llecting the big packages. To cap it off, we opened a credit account at a large
department store and used to return most of the records and books to the store s
aying that they were gifts and we wanted something else. Since we had an account
at the store, they always took the merchandise and gave credit for future purch
ases.You can always use the public libraries. Find out when they do their yearly
housecleaning. Every library discards thousands of books on this day. Just show
up and ask if you can take some.Almost anything you might want to know from pla
ns for constructing a sundial to a complete blueprint for building a house may b
e obtained free from the Government Printing Office. Write: to Superintendent of
Documents, Government Printing Office, Washington D.C. 20402. Most publication
are free. Those that are not are dirt cheap. Ask to be put on the list to receiv
e the free biweekly list of Selected U.S. Government Publications.One of the bes
t ways to receive records and books free is to invest twenty dollars and print u
p some stationery with an artistic logo for some non-existent publication. Write
to all the public relations departments of record companies, publishing houses,
and movie studios. Say you are a newspaper with a large youth readership and ha
ve regular reviews of books, or records, or movies, and would like to be placed
on their mailing list. Say that you would be glad to send them any reviews of th
eir records that appear in the paper. That adds a note of authenticity to the le
tter. After a month or so you'll be receiving more records and books than you ca
n use.If you really want a book badly enough, follow the title of this one-Dig!
FREE MONEY
No book on survival should fail to give you some good tips on how to rip
-off bread. Really horning in on this chapter will put you on Free-loader Street
life, 'cause with all the money in Amerika, the only thing you'll have trouble
getting is poor.
WELFARE
It's easy to get on welfare that anyone who is broke and doesn't have a
regular relief check coming in is nothing but a goddamn lazy bum! Each state has
a different set up. The racist penny-pinchers of Mississippi dole out only $8.0
0 a month. New York dishes ont the most with monthly payments up to $120.00. The
Amerikan Public Welfare Association publishes a book called The Public Welfare
Directory with information on exactly what each welfare agency provides and how
you go about qualifying. You can read the directory at any public library to fin
d out all you can about how your local office operates.When you've discovered ev
erything you need to know, head on down to the Welfare Department in your grubbi
est clothes. Not sleeping the night before helps. The receptionist will assign a
n "intaker" to interview you. After a long wait, you'll be directed to a desk. T
he intaker raps to you for a while, generally showing sympathy for your plight a
nd turns you over to the caseworker who will make the final and ultimate assessm
ent.Have your heaviest story ready to ooze out. If you have no physical disabili
ties, lay down a "mentally deranged" rap. Getting medical papers saying you have
any long-term illness or defect helps a lot. Tell the caseworker you get dizzy
spells on the job and faint in the street. Keep bobbing your head, yawning, or s
cratching. Tell him that you have tried to commit suicide recently because you j
ust can't make it in a world that has forgotten how to love. Don't lay it on too
obviously. Wait till he "pries" some of the details from you. This makes the st
ory even more convincing. Many welfare workers are young and hip. The image you
are working on is that of a warm, sensitive kid victimized by brutal parents and
a cold ruthless society. Tell them you held off coming for months because you w
anted to maintain some self-respect even though have been walking the streets br
oke and hungry. If you are a woman tell him you were recently raped. In sexist A
merika, this will probably be true.After about an hour or so of this soap-opera
stuff, you'll be ready to get your first check. From then on it's a monthly chec
k, complete medical care for free and all sorts of other outasight benefits. Occ
asionally the caseworker will drop by your pad or ask you down to the office to
see how you're coming along, but with your condition, things don't look so good.
Don't abandon hope though. Hope always helps fill in a caseworker's report.The
real trick is to parlay welfare payments in a few different states. Work out an
exchange system with a buddy and mail each other the checks when they come in. I
f the caseworker comes by, your roommate can say you went to find a job or enrol
led in a class. We know cats who have parlayed welfare payments up to six hundre
d dollars a month.
UNEMPLOYMENT
Every outlaw should learn everything there is to know about the rules go
verning unemployment insurance. As in the case of welfare rules, eligibility, an
d the size of payments differ from state to state. In New York, you are eligible
for payments equivalent to half your weekly salary before taxes up to $65 per w
eek, on the condition that you have worked for a minimum of twenty weeks during
the year. Payments are somewhat lower in most other states. In order to collect,
you must show you are actively searching for a job and keep a record of employe
rs you contact. This can easily be fudged. Every time you're questioned about it
, mention one or two companies. If your hair is long, you'll have no problem. Ju
st say they won't hire you until you get a haircut. When this is the case, the u
nemployment office cannot cut off your payments or your hair. They also cannot m
ake you accept a job you do not want. Tell them any job offer you get is not cha
llenging enough for your talents. Unemployment can be collected for six months b
efore payments are terminated. Twenty more weeks of slavery and you can go back
to maintaining your dignity in the unemployment line. These job insurance paymen
ts cannot be taxed and since you are working so few weeks out of each year, your
taxable income is at a minimum. Read all the fine print for tax form 1040 and d
iscover all the deductible loopholes available to you. You should wind up paying
no taxes at all or having all the taxes that were deducted from your pay reimbu
rsed. Never turn over to the pig government any funds you can rip off. Remember,
it isn't your government, so why submit to its taxation if you feel you do not
have representation.
PANHANDLING
The practice of going up to folks and bumming money is a basic hustling
art. If you are successful at panhandling, you'll be able to master all the skil
ls in the book and then some. To be good at it requires a complete knowledge of
what motivates people. Even if we don't need the bread, we panhandle on the stre
ets in the same way doctors go back to medical school. It helps us stay in shape
. Panhandling is illegal throughout Pig Empire, but it's one of those laws that
is rarely enforced unless they want to "clean the area" of hippies. If you're in
a strange locale, ask a fellow panhandler what the best places to work are with
out risking a bust. Do it in front of supermarkets, theaters, sporting events, h
ip dress shops and restaurants. College cafeterias are very good hunting grounds
.When you're hustling, be assertive. Don't lean against the wall with your palm
out mumbling "Spare some change?" Go up to people and stand directly in front of
them so they have to look you in the eye and say no. Bum from guys with dates.
Bum from motherly looking types. After a while you'll get a sense of the type of
people you get results with.Theater can be real handy. The best actors get the
most bread. Devising a street theater skit can help. A good prop is a charity ca
nister. You can get them by going to the offices of a mainstream charity and sig
ning up as a collector. Don't feel bad about ripping them off. Charities are the
biggest swindle around. 80% or more of the funds raised by honky charities go t
o the organization itself. New fancy cars for the Red Cross, inflated salaries f
or the executives of the Cancer Fund, tax write-offs for Jerry Lewis. You get th
e picture. A good way to work this and keep your karma in shape is to turn over
half to a revolutionary groups such as your local underground. Remember, fugitiv
es from injustice depend on you to survive. Be a responsible member of our natio
n. Support the only war we have going!
RIP-OFFS
If you are closing out your checking account, overdraw your account by $
10.00. The bank won't bother chasing you down for a lousy 10 bucks.Call the tele
phone operator from time to time and tell her you lost some change in a pay phon
e. They will mail you the cash.You can get $150 to $600 in advance by willing yo
ur body to a University medical school. They have you sign a lot of papers and p
ut a tattoo on your foot. You can get the tattoo removed and sell your body to t
he folks across the street. The universities can be ripped off by enrolling, app
lying for a loan and bugging out after the loan comes through. This is a lot eas
ier than you might imagine and you can hit them for up to $2,500 with a good eno
ugh story.Put a number 14 brass washer in a newspaper vending machine and take o
ut all the papers. Stand around the corner or go into the local bar and sell the
m. You often get tipped. Don't do this with underground papers. Remember they're
your brothers and sisters.The airlines will give you $250 for each piece of lug
gage you lose when flying. The following is a good way to lose your luggage. Whe
n you get off a plane, have a friend meet you at the gate. Give him your luggage
claim stubs and arrange to meet at a washroom or restaurant. Your friend picks
up the bags and takes them out of the baggage room. Before he leaves the airport
, he turns over the stubs to you at your prearranged rendezvous. You casually wa
nder over to the baggage department and search for your elusive luggage. When al
l the baggage has been claimed, file a complaint with the lost and found departm
ent. They'll have you fill out a form, explain that it probably got misplaced on
another carrier and promise to send it to you as soon as it is located. In a mo
nth you'll receive a check for $250 per bag. Enjoy your flight.
THE INTERNATIONAL YIPPIE CURRENCY EXCHANGE
Every time you drop a coin into a slot, you are losing money needlessly.
There is at least one foreign coin that is the same size or close enough that w
ill do the trick for less than a penny. The following are some of the foreign cu
rrencies that will get you that Coke, call or subway ride.
Quarter Size Coins
¥ URUGUAYAN 10 CENTISIMO PIECE
- works in many soda and candy machines, older telephones (3 slot types)
, toll machines, laundromats, parking meters, stamp machines, and restroo
m novelty machines. Works also in some electric cancerette machines but
not most mechanical machines.
¥ DANISH 5 ORE PIECE
- works in 3 slot telephones, toll machines, laundromats, automats, some
stamp machines, most novelty machines, and the Boston Subway. Does not w
ork in soda or cancerette machines.
¥ PERUVIAN 20 CENTAVO PIECES
- works in new (one slot) telephone and some electric cancerette machine
s, but does not work as many places in the Uruguay, Danish and Peruvian
coins.
¥ ICELANDIC 5 AURAN PIECE
- most effective quarter in the world, even works in change machines. Un
fortunately, this coin is practically impossible to get outside of Iceland
and even there, it is becoming difficult since the government is attemp
ting to remove it from circulation.
Dime Size Coins
¥ MALAYSIAN PENNY
- generally works in all dime slots, including old and new telephones, c
andy machines, soda machines, electric machines, stamp machines, parking meters
, photocopy machines, and pay toilets. Does not work in some newer stamp d
ispensers, and some mechanical cancerette machines.
¥ TRINIDAD PENNY
- generally works the same as Malaysian Penny. New York Subway Tokens
¥ DANISH 25 ORE PIECE
- works in 95% of all subway turnstiles. A very safe coin to use since i
t will not jam the turnstile. It is 5/l000th of an inch bigger than a token.
¥ PORTUGUESE 50 CENTAVO PIECE
- the average Portuguese Centavo Piece is 2/1000th of an inch smaller th
an a token. ¥ JAMAICAN HALF PENNY, BAHAMA PENNY and AUSTRALIAN SCHILLI
NG
- these coins are 12/l000th to 15/1000th of an inch smaller than token.
They work in about 80% of all turnstiles. We have also had good success with
FRENCH l FRANC PIECE (WWII issue), SPANISH l0 CENTAVO PIECE NICARAGUAN 25 CEN
TAVO PIECE.
All of the coins listed have a currency value of a few cents, wit
h most less than one penny. Foreign coins work more regularly than slugs and are
non-magnetic, hence cannot be detected by "slug detector machines." Also unlike
slugs, although they are illegal to use in machines, they are perfectly legal t
o possess and exchange.Large coin dealers and currency exchanges are generally u
ptight about handling cheap foreign coins in quantity since they don't make much
profit and are subject to certain pressures in selling coins that are the same
sizeas Amerikan coins or tokens.People planning trips to European or South Ameri
can countries should bring back rolls of coins as souvenirs or for use in "coin
jewelry."If you do not plan to travel, a small coin store which is cool about se
lling to the public is located on the Lower East Side at 191 East Third Street,
New York City. When their phone works, the number is 475-9897.Washers are the mo
st popular types of slugs. You can go to any hardware store and match them up wi
th various coins. Sometimes you might have to put a small piece of scotch tape o
ver one side of the hole to make it more effective. Each washer is identified by
its material and number, i.e. No. 14 brass washer with scotch tape on one side
is a perfect dime. When you get the ones you want, you can buy thousands for nex
t to nothing (especially at industrial supply stores) and pass them out to our f
riends.Xerox copies of both sides of a dollar bill, carefully glued together, wo
rk in most machines that give you change for a dollar. Excuse us, there is a kno
ck at the door. . .Fancy that! It's the Treasury Department. Wonder what they wa
nt?
FREE DOPE
BUYING, SELLING AND GIVING IT AWAY
As you probably know, most dope is illegal, therefore some risks are alw
ays involved in buying and selling. "Eternal vigilance and constant mobility are
the passwords of survival," said Che Guevara, and nowhere do they apply more th
an in the world of dope. If you ever have the slightest doubt about the person w
ith whom you're dealing-DON'T.BuyingIn the purchasing of dope, arrests are not a
problem unless you're the fall guy for a bust on the dealer. The major hazard i
s getting burned. Buy from a friend or a reputable dealer. If you have to do bus
iness with a stranger, be extra careful. Never front money. One of the burn arti
st's tricks is to take your money, tell you to wait and split with your dough. T
here are various side show gimmicks each burn artist works. The most common is t
o ask you to walk with them a few blocks and then stop in front of an apartment
building. He then tells you the dope is upstairs and asks you to hand over the m
oney in advance. He explains that his partner is the real uptight 'cause they we
re raided once and won't let anybody in the pad. He takes your dough and disappe
ars inside the building. Out the back door or up to the roof and into his getawa
y helicopter. You are left on the sidewalk with anxious eyes and that "can this
really be happening to me" feeling.Another burn method is to substitute oregano,
parsley or catnip for pot, camel shit for hash, saccharin or plain pills for ac
id. If you got burned for heroin or speed, you're better off being taken, becaus
e these are body-fuck drugs that can mess you up badly. The people that deal the
m are total pigs and should be regarded as such. When you're buying from strang
ers, you have a right to sample the merchandise free unless it's coke. Check the
weight of grass with a small pocket scale. Feel the texture and check out how w
ell it has been cleaned of seeds and twigs. Smoke a joint that is rolled from th
e stuff you get. Don't accept the dealer's sample that he pulled out of his pock
et. When you are buying a large amount of acid, pick a sample. You should never
buy acid from a stranger as it is too easy a burn.If you buy cocaine, bring alon
g a black light. Only the imparities glow under its fluorescence, thus giving yo
u an idea of the quality of the coke. Make sure it's the real thing. Sniffing co
ke can perforate your nasal passages, so be super moderate. Too much will kill y
ou. A little bit goes a long way.SellingDealing, although dangerous, is a tax-fr
ee way of surviving even though it borders on work. The best way to start is to
save up a little bread and buy a larger quantity than you usually get. Then deal
out smaller amounts to your friends. The fewer strangers you deal with, the saf
er you are. The price of dope varies with the amount of stuff on the market in y
our area, the heat the narks are bringing down and the connections you have. A r
ough scale, say, for pot is $20 an ounce, $125 a pound and $230 a kilo (2.2 poun
ds). The price per ounce decreases depending on the amount you get. It's true yo
u make more profit selling by the ounces, but the hassle is greater and the more
contacts you must make increases the risk. Screwing your customers will prove t
o be bad karma (unless you consider dying groovy), so stick to honest dealing. N
ever deal from your pad and avoid keeping your stash there. Get into searching o
ut the best markets which are generally in California, given its close proximity
to good ol' Mexico. Kansas is a big distribution center for Mexican grass, too.
You can ship the stuff (safer than carrying) via air freight anywhere in the co
untry for about $30 a trunk. Keep the sending and receiving end looking straight
. We have one friend who wears a priest's outfit to ship and receive dope. In fa
ct, every time we see nuns or priests on the street, we assume they're outlaws j
ust on their way to the next deal or bombing. For all we know, the church actual
ly is nothing but a huge dope ring in drag. Anybody gotten high off communion wa
fers lately?When you talk about deals on the phone, be cool. Make references to
theater tickets or subscriptions. Don't keep extensive notes on your activities
and contacts. Use code names where you can. Never deal with two other people pre
sent. Only you and the buyer should be in the immediate vicinity. Narks make bus
ts in pairs so one can be the arresting officer and the other can be a court wit
ness. Dealing is a paradox of unloading a good amount of shit but not trying to
move too fast; of making ne contacts but being careful of strangers; of dealing
high quality and low prices; and of being simultaneously bold and cautious. If y
ou get nabbed, get the best lawyer who specializes in dope busts. First offender
s rarely end up serving time, but it's a different story for repeaters. Know how
punitive the courts are and which judges and prosecutors can be bought off. Nev
er deal in the month before an election. For complete information on how to avoi
d getting busted and what to do if busted, read The Drug Bust (listed in appendi
x).Giving It AwayGiving dope away can be a real mind-blower. Every dealer should
submit to voluntary taxation by the new Nation. If you are a conscientious deal
er, you should be willing and eager to give a good hunk of your stash away at sp
ecial events or to groups into free distribution. You should also be able to giv
e bread to bust trusts set up to bail out heads unable to get up the ransom mone
y the whisky lush courts demand. Many groups have done huge mailings of joints t
o all sorts of people. A group in New York mailed 30,000 to people in the phone
book on one Valentine's Day. A group in Los Angeles placed over 2,000 joints in
library books and then advised kids to smoke a book during National Library Week
. Be cool about even giving stuff away since that counts as dealing in most stat
es. John Sinclair, Chairman of the White Panther Party, is serving 9¸ to 10 years
for giving away two joints.
GROW YOUR OWN
Pot is a weed and as such grows in all climates under every kind of soil
condition. We have seen acres and acres of grass growing in Kansas, Iowa and Ne
w Jersey. If you're not located next door to a large pot field growing in the wi
ld, maybe you would have some success in growing your own. It's well worth it to
try your potluck!The first thing is to start with a bunch of good-quality seeds
from grass that you really dig. Select the largest seeds and place them between
two heavy-duty napkins or ink blotters in a pan. Soak the napkins with water un
til completely saturated. Cover the top of the pan or place it in a dark closet
for three days or until a sprout about a half inch long appears from most of the
seeds.During this incubation period, you can prepare the seedling bed. Use a lo
w wooden box such as a tomato flat and fill it with an inch of gravel. Fill the
rest of the box with some soil mixed with a small amount of fertilizer. Moisten
the soil until water seeps out the bottom of the box, then level the soil making
a flat surface. With a pencil, punch holes two inches apart in straight rows. Y
ou can get about 2 dozen in a tomato flat.When the incubation period is over, ta
ke those seeds that have an adequate sprout and plant one in each hole. The spro
ut goes down and the seed part should be a little above ground. Tamp the soil fi
rmly (do not pack) around each plant as you insert the sprouts.The seedlings sho
uld remain in their boxes in a sunny window until about mid-May. They should rec
eive enough water during this period to keep the soil moist. By the time they ar
e ready to go into the ground, the green plants should be about six to eight inc
hes tall.If it is late winter or early spring and you have a plot of land that g
ets enough sun and is sheltered from nosy neighbors, you should definitely grow
grass in the great outdoors.One idea is to plant sunflowers in your garden as th
ese grow taller than the pot plants and camouflage them from view. The best idea
is to find some little-used field and plant a section of it.Prepare the land th
e way you would for any garden vegetable. Dig up the ground with a pitchfork or
heavy duty rake, removing rocks. Rake the plot level and punch holes in the soil
about three inches deep and about two feet apart in the same way you did in the
seedling boxes. Remove the young plants from the box, being careful not to dist
urb the roots and keeping as much soil intact as possible. Transplant each plant
into one of the punched-out holes and firmly press the soil to hold it in place
. When all the plants are in the ground, water the entire area. Tend them the wa
y you would any other garden. They should reach a height of about six feet by th
e end of the summer and be ready to harvest.If you don't have access to a field,
you can grow good stuff right in your own closet or garage using artificial lig
hting. Transplant the plants into larger wooden boxes or flower boxes. Be sure a
nd cover the bottom of each box with a few inches of pebbles or broken pottery b
efore you add the soil. This will insure proper drainage. Fertilize the soil acc
ording to the instructions on the box and punch out holes in much the same way y
ou would do if you were growing outside. After the young plants have been transp
lanted and watered thoroughly, you will have to rig up a lighting system. Use bl
ue light bulbs, which are available at hardware stores for the first thirty days
. These insure a shorter, sturdier stalk. Leave the lights on 24 hours a day and
place them about a foot above the tops of the plants. If the plants begin to fe
el brittle or turn yellow at the edges, then the temperature is too hot. Use les
s illumination or raise the height of the lamp if this occurs.After the first th
irty days, change to red bulbs and cut down the lighting time to 16 hours a day.
After a week, reduce the time to 14 hours and then on the third week to 12 hour
s. Maintain this lighting period until the plants flower. The female plants have
a larger and heavier flower structure and the males are somewhat skimpy. The fe
male plant produces the stronger grass and the choicest parts are the top leaves
including the flowers.Inside or outside, the plants will be best if allowed to
reach maturity, although they are smokeable at any point along the way. When you
want to harvest the crop, wet the soil and pull out the entire plant. If you wa
nt to separate the top leaves from the rest, you can do so and make two qualitie
s of grass. In any event, let the plants dry in the sun for two weeks until they
are thoroughly dried out. If you want to hurry the drying process, you can do i
t in an oven using a very low heat for about twenty minutes. After you've comple
ted the drying, you can "cure'" the grass by putting the plants in plastic bags
and sprinkling drops of wine, rum or plain booze on them. This greatly increases
the potency.There are two other ways that we know work to increase the potency
of grass you grow or buy. One consists of digging a hole and burying a stash of
grass wrapped in a plastic bag. A few months in the ground will produce a mouldy
grass that is far fuckin' out. A quick method is to get a hunk of dry ice, put
it in a metal container or box with a tight lid (taping the lid airtight helps),
and sprinkling the grass on top. Allow it to sit tightly covered for about thre
e days until all the dry ice evaporates.
ASSORTED FREEBIES
LAUNDRY
Wait in a laundromat. Tell someone with a light load that you'll watch t
he machine for them if you can stick your clothes in with theirs.
PETS
Your local ASPCA will give you a free dog, cat, bird or other pet. Have
them inspect and inoculate the animal which they will do free of charge. You can
get free or very cheap medical care for your pet at a school for veterinary med
icine.Underground newspapers often carry a free-pets column in the back pages. S
nakes can be caught in any wooded area and they make great pets. You can collect
insects pretty easy. Ants are unbelievable to watch. You can make a simple 3/4
inch wide glass case about a foot high, fill it with sand and start an ant colon
y. A library book will tell you how to care for them.Every year the National Par
k Service gives away surplus elks in order to keep the herds under its jurisdict
ion from outgrowing the amount of available land for grazing. Write to: Superint
endent, Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone, Wyoming 83020. You must be prepa
red to pay the freight charges for shipping the animal and guarantee that you ca
n provide enough grazing land to keep the big fellow happy.Under the same arrang
ement the government will send you a Free Buffalo. Write to: Office of Informati
on, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20420. So many people have writ
ten them recently demanding their Free Buffalo, that they called a pressconferen
ce to publicly attack the Yippies for creating chaos in the government. Don't ta
ke any buffalo shit from these petty bureaucrats, demand the real thing. Demand
your Free Buffalo.You can get a free l6mm movie about parakeets called "More Fun
with Parakeets," by writing to: R.T. French Co., 9068 Mustard St., Rochester, N
ew York 14609. This great film won an Academy Award for best picture of 1793.
POSTERS
Beautiful wall posters are available by writing to the National Tourist
Agencies of various countries. Most are located between 42nd and 59th Streets on
Fifth Ave. in New York City. You can find their addresses in the New York Yello
w Pages under both National Tourist Agencies and Travel Agencies. There are over
fifty of them. Prepare a form letter saying you are a high school geography tea
cher and would like some posters of the country to decorate your classroom. In a
month you will be flooded with them. Airline companies also have colorful wall
posters they send out free.
SECURITY
For this trick you need some money to begin with. Deposit it in a bank a
nd return in a few weeks telling them you lost your bank book. They give you a c
ard to fill out and sign and in a week you will receive another book. Now withdr
aw your money, leaving you with original money and a bank book showing a balance
. You can use this as identification to prevent vagrancy busts when traveling, a
s collateral for bail, or for opening a charge account at a store.Another trick
is to buy some American Travelers Checks. Wait a week and report your checks los
t. They'll give you new ones to replace the missing ones. You spend your new che
cks and keep the ones you reported lost as security. This security is great for
international travel especially at border crossings. If you want, you can spend
the Travelers Checks by giving them to a friend to forge your name. Before you c
all the office to report the loss, call the police station and say you were mugg
ed and your wallet was stolen. The agency always asks if you have reported the l
ost checks to the police, so you can safely answer yes. Never do this for more t
han five hundred dollars and never more than once with any one company.
POSTAGE
When mailing to the same city, address the envelope or package to yourse
lf and put the name of the person you are sending it to where the return address
generally goes. Mail it without postage and it will be "returned" to the sender
. Because almost all letters are machine processed, any stamp that is the correc
t size will pass. Easter Seals and a variety of other type stamps usually get by
the electronic scanner. If you put the stamp on a spot other than the far upper
right corner, it will not be cancelled and can be used again by the person who
gets your letter. If you have a friend working in a large corporation, you can r
un your organization's mail through their postage meter.Those ridiculous free in
troductory or subscription type letters that you get in the mail often have a po
stage-guaranteed return postcard for your convenience. The next one you get, pas
te it on a brick and drop it in the mailbox. The company is required by law to p
ay the postage. You can also get rid of all your garbage this way.MAPSYou can ge
t a free full-color World Atlas by writing to Hammond Inc. Maplewood, New Jersey
07040.
MINISTRY
Unquestionably one of the best deals going is becoming a minister in the
Universal Life Church. They will send you absolutely free, bona fide ordination
papers. These entitle you to all sorts of discounts and tax exemptions. Right n
ow, sit down and write to Universal Life Church Inc., 601 3rd St., Modesto, Cali
fornia 95351. Try cutting out the card on the following page and laminate it. Le
t us know how it works out.
ATROCITIES
Join the Army!
VETERAN'S BENEFITS
Write to the Veteran's Administration Information Service, Washington, D
.C. 20420 asking them for the free services they provide for veterans. Send fift
een cents to the Government Printing Office for their booklet Federal Benefits A
vailable to Veterans and Their Dependents.
WATCH
A $330 Bulova sport timer accurate to 1/10 of a second will be lent free
to judges and referees to time any amateur sporting event. Call your local auth
orized Bulova dealer and get one lent to you under a phony name. Tell them you w
ant to time an orgy.
VACATIONS
There are many ways to take a free vacation, but here's one you might no
t have considered. It's an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for absolutely no
thing. Call a travel agent and request information about Las Vegas gambling junk
ets (you'll probably have to hunt around because this practice is being curtaile
d). Different hotels have different deals, but the average one runs something li
ke this: If you agree to buy $500 worth of chips that can only be spent on gambl
ing tables of the host hotel, they will fly you round trip, pay all hotel and fo
od bills and provide you with a rented car. Go with a close friend and check int
o the hotel. Once at the roulette or craps table, you and your friend bet the sa
me amount of chips against each other on even-paying chances. For example, he wo
uld bet on red and you on black. When either of you wins, you keep the house chi
ps; when you lose, turn in the specially marked chips that cannot be cashed in.
What you are doing is simply exchanging the chips you came with for house chips
that you can cash in for real dough. Theoretically your two vacations should cos
t $23.00 if you do the betting at the crap table and $52.00 if you bet even chan
ces at roulette. That is because the house wins if 0 or 00 comes up in roulette
and if 12 comes up on the first roll of the dice, but it sure is a hell of a vac
ation for two for $23.00, and you get free champagne on some flights.You can get
half a vacation free by going to the Amerikan Embassy or Consulate in the count
ry you find yourself in and claim that you're destitute. There is a law o
n the books that says they have to send you away, but be persistent. Make up a s
tory about how your parents are away from home traveling. Say you got mugged or
something and you are about to go to the newspapers with your story. Eventually
they'll get you a free plane ticket. They stamp your passport invalid though, an
d you have to pay the government back before you can use it again.DRINKSWhen hit
ching, it's a good idea to carry a bottle opener and a straw. You take the caps
off soda bottles while they're still in the machine and drink them dry without e
ver touching the bottle.BURIALSFor ways to avoid the high cost of dying in Ameri
ka, write to: Continental Association, 39 East Van Buren St., Chicago, Ill. 6060
5. Send them $1.00 for the Manual of Simple Burial and 25¢ for a list of Memorial
Associates.
ASTRODOME PICTURES
Don't you just have to have a huge, glossy color photo of Houston's fame
d Astrodome to show all your friends? Use the teacher bit and write to: Greater
Houston Convention and Visitors Council, 1600 Main St., Houston, Texas 77002.
DIPLOMA
Above the paper towel dispenser in a service station restroom was writte
n: "San Francisco State Diplomas." If you really need a college or a high schoo
l diploma, send $2.00 to Glenco, Box 834, Warren, Michigan 48090. They send you
one that looks real authentic. It ain't Harvard, but it looks good enough to fra
me and put on your wall.
TOILETS
Sneak Under
!FIGHT!
Tell It All, Brothers and Sisters
STARTING A PRINTING WORKSHOP
Leaflets, posters, newsletters, pamphlets and other printed matter are i
mportant to any revolution. A printing workshop is a definite need in all commun
ities, regardless of size. It can vary from a garage with a mimeograph machine t
o a mammoth operation complete with printing presses and fancy photo equipment.
With less than a hundred dollars and some space, you can begin this vital servic
e. It'll take a while before you get into printing greenbacks, phony identificat
ion papers and credit cards like the big boys, but to walk a mile you must start
with one step as Gutenberg once said.PaperThe standard size for paper is 8¸" x 11
". It comes 500 sheets to a "ream" and 10 reams to a case. You want a 16-20 bond
weight sheet. The higher weights are better if you are printing on both sides.
You can purchase what are termed "odd lots" from most paper companies. This mean
s that the colors will be assorted and some sheets will be frayed at the edges o
r wrinkled. Odd lots can be purchased at great discounts. Some places sell paper
this way for 10% of the original price and for leaflets, different colors help.
Check this out with paper suppliers in your area.InkInks come in pastes and liq
uids and are available in stationary stores and office supply houses. Each machi
ne requires its own type ink, so learn what works best with the one you have. Co
lored ink is slightly more expensive but available for most machines.StencilsEac
h machine uses a particular size and style stencil. If you get stuck with the wr
ong kind and can't get out to correct the mistake, you can punch extra holes in
the top, trim them with a scissors if they are too big or add strips of tape to
the sides if too narrow.Be sure and use only the area that will fit on the paper
you are using. Most stencils can be used for paper larger than standard size. S
tencils will "cut" a lot neater if an electric typewriter is used. If you only h
ave access to e manual machine, remove the ribbon so the keys will strike the st
encil directly. A plastic sheet, provided by the supplier, can be inserted betwe
en the stencil and its backing to provide sharper cuts by the keys. If you hold
the stencil up to a light, you should be able to clearly see the typing. If you
can't, you'll have to apply more pressure.Sketches can be done with a ball point
pen or special stylus directly on the stencil. If you're really rushed, or ther
e isn't that much info to get on the leaflet, you can hand-print the text using
these instruments. Take care not to tear the stencil.Mimeograph MachinesThe pric
e of a new mimeograph runs from $200 to $1200, depending on how sophisticated a
machine you need and can afford. A.B. Dick and Gestetner are the most popular br
ands. Many supply houses have used machines for sale. Check the classified secti
on for bargains. See if any large corporations are moving, going out of business
or have just had a fire. Chances are they'll be unloading printing equipment at
cheap prices. Campaign offices of losing candidates often have mimeos to unload
in November. Many supply houses have renting and leasing terms that you might b
e interested in considering. Have an idea of the work load and type of printing
you'll be handling before you go hunting. Talk to someone who knows what they'r
e doing before you lay down a lot of cash on a machine.DuplicatorsWe prefer dupl
icators to mimeos even though the price is a little higher. They work faster, ar
e easier to operate and print clearer leaflets. The Gestener Silk Screen Duplica
tor is the best bet. It turns out stuff almost as good as offset printing. You c
an do 10 thousand sheets an hour in an assortment of colors.Electronic StencilsI
f you use electronic stencils you can do solid lettering, line drawings, cartoon
s and black and white pictures with good contrast. To make an electronic stencil
, you map out on a sheet of paper everything you want printed. This is a photo p
rocess, so make sure only what you want printed shows up on the sheet. You can u
se a light blue pencil for guide lines as it won't photograph, but be neat anywa
y. Printing shops will cut a stencil on a special machine for about $3.00.The Ge
stefax Electronic Stencil Cutter can be leased or rented in the same way as the
duplicator. If you are doing a lot of printing for a number of different groups,
this machine will eliminate plenty of hassle. The stencils cost about 20¢ each an
d take about fifteen minutes to make.If you have an electronic stencil cutter, d
uplicator, electric typewriter and a cheap source of paper, you can do almost an
y printing job imaginable. Have a dual rate system: one for community groups and
another for regular business orders. You can use the profits to go towards the
purchasing of more equipment and to build toward the day when you can get your o
wn offset press.Silk ScreeningPosters banners and shirts that are unbelievable c
an be printed by this exciting method. The process is easy to learn and teach. Y
ou'll need a fairly large area to work in since the posters have to be hung up t
o dry. Pick up any inexpensive paperback book on silk screening. The equipment c
osts less than $50.00 to begin. Once you get good at it, you can print complicat
ed designs in a number of different colors, including portraits.
UNDERGROUND NEWSPAPERS
Food conspiracies, bust trusts, people's clinics and demonstrations are
all part of the new Nation, but if asked to name the most important institution
in our lives, one would have to say the underground newspaper. It keeps tuned in
on what's going on in the community and around the world. Values, myths, symbol
s, and all the trappings of our culture are determined to a large extent by the
underground press. Each office serves as a welcome mat for strangers, a meeting
place for community organizers and a rallying force to fight pig repression. The
re are probably over 500 regularly publishing with readerships running from a fe
w hundred to over 500,000. Most were started in the last three years. If your sc
ene doesn't have a paper, you probably don't have a scene together. A firmly est
ablished paper can be started on about $2,500. Plan to begin with eight pages in
black and white with a 5,000 copy run. Each such issue will cost about $300 to
print. You should have six issues covered when you start. Another $700 will do f
or equipment. Offset printing is what you'll want to get from a commercial print
ing establishment.You need some space to start, but don't rush into setting up a
storefront office until you feel the paper's going to be successful. A garage,
barn or spare apartment room will do just fine. Good overhead fluorescent lighti
ng, a few long tables, a bookcase, desk, chairs, possibly a phone and you are re
ady to start.Any typewriter will work, but you can rent an IBM Selectric typewri
ter with a deposit of $120.00 and payments of $20.00 per month. Leasing costs tw
ice as much, but you'll own the machine when the payments are finished. The Sele
ctric has interchangeable type that works on a ball system rather than the old-f
ashion keys. Each ball costs $18.00, so by getting a few you can vary the type t
he way a printer does.A light-table can make things a lot easier when it comes t
o layout. Simply build a box (3' x 4' is a good size, but the larger the better)
out of ¸" plywood. The back should be higher than the front to provide a sloping
effect. The top should consist of a shelf of frosted glass. Get one strong enoug
h to lean on. Inside the box, attach two fluorescent light fixtures to the walls
or base. The whole light table should cost less than $25.00. That really is abo
ut all you need, except someone with a camera, a few good writers who will serve
as reporters, an artistic person to take care of layout, and someone to hassle
printing deals, advertising and distribution. Most people start by having everyo
ne do everything.LayoutA tabloid size paper is 9 7/8" x 14 5/8" with an inch lef
t over on each side for margins. Columns typically are 3 1/4" allowing for three
per page. Experience has found that this size is easy to lay out and more impor
tantly, easy to read. There is an indirect ratio between readability and academi
c snobbishness. Avoid the textbook look. Remember, the New York Times in its low
form represents the Death Kulture.Start off with a huge collection of old magaz
ines and newspapers. You can cut up all sorts of letters, borders, designs and s
ketches and paste them together to make eye-catching headlines. Sheets of headli
ne type are available in different styles from art stores for $1.25 a sheet. Buy
one of each type and then photograph several copies of each, bringing the price
way down. The basic content in the prescribed column size should be banged out
on the IBM. The columns can be clipped together with a clothespin to avoid confu
sion. Use a good heavy bond white opaque paper.All black and white photographs f
rom newspapers and magazines can be used directly. Color pictures can also be us
ed but it's tricky and you'll have to experiment a little to get an understandin
g of what colors photograph poorly. Glossy black and white photographs must be s
hot in half tones to keep the grey areas. You can have them processed at any pho
to lab. You might also need the photo lab for enlargements or reductions, so mak
e contact and establish a good working relationship.An Exacto knife is available
for 29¢ and you can get a package of 100 blades for $10.00. A few metal rulers, a
good pair of scissors, some spray adhesive or rubber cement and you're ready to
paste the pages that will make up the "dummy" that goes to the printer. Each pa
ge is laid out on special layout sheets with faint blue guide lines that don't p
hotograph. Any large art supply store sells these sheets and all the other suppl
ies.By working over a light-table, the paste-up can be done more professionally.
Experiment with many different layouts for each page before finally pasting up
the paper. Don't have a picture in the corner and the rest solid columns. Print
can be run over pictures and sketches by preparing two sheets for that page and
shooting background in half-tones. The columns don't have to be run straight up
and down, but can run at different angles. The most newsworthy articles should b
e towards the front of the paper. The centerfold can be treated in an exciting
manner. A good idea is to do the centerfold so that it can be used as a poster t
o put on a wall after the paper is read. If you have ads, they should be kept ne
ar the back. The masthead, which gives the staff, mailing address, and similar i
nfo, goes near the front. Your focus should be the local activities. A section s
hould be reserved for a directly of local services and events. People giving thi
ngs away should have a section. The rest really depends on the life style and po
litics of the staff.National stories can be supplied by one or more of the news
services. Nothing in the underground press is copyrighted, so you can reprint an
interesting article from another paper. It's customary to indicate what paper p
rinted it first, or news service it was sent out by. Any underground paper has p
ermission to reprint hunks of this book.AdsMost papers find it necessary to get
some advertising to help defray the production costs. Some rely totally on subsc
ription; some are outgrowths of organizations and still others are printed up an
d just handed out free. The ones with ads seem to have the longest life. Make up
an ad rate before you put out the first issue. Ads are measured in inches of le
ngth. The width is understood by everyone to be the width of the column. If you
use the 3¹" column, however, you'll want to let potential advertisers know you hav
e wide columns.The way to arrive at a reasonable rate is to estimate the total b
udget for each issue (adding some for overhead and labor), then each page and fi
nally each column inch. After a little arithmetic you can get a good estimate of
your printing cost per inch. Using our figures throughout this section, it shou
ld come to about $2.00 per inch. Double this figure and you'll arrive at the co
rrect rate per advertising inch-$4.00. There should be special lower rates for l
arge ads, such as half or full pages. There should also be a special arrangement
for a continuous subscriber. If you have a classified section, another rate bas
ed on number of words or lines is constructed. A service charge is fixed if you
make up the ad layout rather than the advertiser. The whole formula should be wo
rked out and printed up before you lay out the first issue.The best place to get
advertising is locally. Theaters, hip clothing stores, ice cream parlors, and r
ecord stores are among the type of advertisers you should approach. After you bu
ild up a circulation, you might want to seek out national advertisers. The Under
ground Press Syndicate, Box 26, Village Station, New York, NY 10014, can be join
ed for $25.00, no dues thereafter. They try to get national ads for you in addit
ion to sending out a newsletter, a news service, and making sure you get free su
bscriptions to the other underground papers. The U.P.S. can also do many other t
hings for you, like list you in their directory, obtain legal advice, and bring
you together with other underground papers for mutual benefit and defense. Anoth
er way to get national advertising is to see who tends to advertise in other und
erground papers. Send the publicity department of these companies letters and sa
mples of your paper. Never let ads make up more than half the paper.Distribution
At the beginning you should aim for a bi-weekly paper with a gradual increase in
the number of pages. The price should be about 25¢. Check out the local laws abou
t selling papers on the street. It's probably allowed and is a neat way to get t
he paper around. Give half to the street hawkers. Representatives at high school
s and colleges should be sought out. Bookstores and newsstands are good places t
o distribute. After your paper gets going well, you might try for national distr
ibution. The Cosmep Newsletter is put out by the Committee of Small Magazines, E
ditors and Publishers, PO Box 1425, Buffalo, NY 14214. In addition to good tips
if you want to start a small literary magazine or publish your own book, they pr
ovide an up-to-date list of small stores around the country that would be likely
to carry your paper. Subscriptions should be sought in the paper itself. If you
get a lot, check out second class mailing privileges. UPS can help with out-of-
city distribution.If you're in a smaller town, you might have to shop around or
go to another city to get printing done. Many printers print only pig swill, whi
ch brings up the point of getting busted for obscenity which can be pretty commo
n. You probably should incorporate, but contact a sympathetic lawyer before you
put out your first issue. During the summer there are usually a few alternative
media conferences organized by one group or another. You can pick up valuable in
formation and exchange ideas at these gatherings. UPS and the news services will
keep you posted. Good luck and write on!
HIGH SCHOOL PAPERS
The usual high school paper is run by puppet lackeys of the administrati
on. It avoids controversy, naughty language, and a host of other things foreign
to the 4-H Club members the school is determined to mass produce. The only thing
the staff is good at is kissing the principal's ass. Let's face it, the aim of
a good high school newspaper should be to destroy the high school. Publishing an
d distributing a heavy paper isn't going to earn you the Junior Chamber of Comme
rce good citizenship award. You might have to be a little mysterious about who t
he staff is until you understand the ground rules and who controls the ballpark²th
e people or the principal.Many schools do not allow papers to be handed out on t
he school premises. These cases are generally won by the newspapers that take th
e school to court. You can challenge the rule and make the administration look l
ike the dinosaurs they are by distributing sheets of paper with only your logo a
nd the school rule printed. By gaining outside publicity for the first distribut
ion of the paper, you might put the administration up tight about clamping down
on you. It might be difficult to explain in civics class when they get to the fr
eedom of the press stuff. Your paper should have one purpose in mind²to piss off t
he principal and radicalize the students. If you run into problems, seek out a s
ympathetic lawyer. You can get a helpful pamphlet from the ACLU, 156 5th Ave., N
ew York, NY 10010, called Academic Freedom in the Secondary Schools" for 25¢.Tell
your lawyer about the most recent (July 10, 1970) decision of the United States
District Court in Connecticut which ruled that the high school students of Rippo
wan High School in Stanford can publish independent newspapers without having th
e contents screened in advance by school officials.The same info for underground
papers applies to high school rags, only the price should be much less if not f
ree. To begin with, you might just mimeograph the first few issues before trying
photo-offset printing. It is very important to get the readers behind you in ca
se you have to go to war with the administration in order to survive. Maintain f
riendships with above ground reporters, the local underground paper and radical
community groups for alliances.
G.I. PAPERS
A heavier scene than even the high schools exists in No-No Land of the m
ilitary. None-the-less, against incredible odds, courageous G.I.'s both here and
overseas have managed to put out a number of underground newspapers. If you are
a G.I. interested in starting a paper, the first thing to do is seek out a few
buddies who share your views on the military and arrange a meeting, preferably o
ff the base. Once you have your group together, getting the paper published will
be no problem. Keeping your staff secret, you can have one member contact with
someone from a G.I. coffee house, anti-war organization or nearby underground ne
wspaper. This civilian contact person will be in a position to raise the bread a
nd arrange the printing and distribution of the paper. You can write one of the
national G.I. newspaper organizations listed at the end of this section if you a
re unable to find help locally. The paper should be printed off the base. Govern
ment equipment should be avoided.Correspondence and subscriptions can be solicit
ed through the use of a post office box. Such a box is inexpensive and secret (a
t least that's what the G.I. papers now publishing report) from military snooper
s up tight about bad publicity if they get caught spying. If you are mailing the
paper to other G.I.'s use first class mail and a plain envelope. This is advice
to anybody sending stuff to a G.I. The mail is handled by "lifers" who will rep
ort troublemakers to their C.O. (Commanding Officer) if they notice anti-war slo
gans on envelopes or dirty commie rags coming their way.You'll want to publish s
tuff relevant to the lives of the G:I.'s on your base. News of demonstrations, a
rticles on the war, racism, counter-culture and vital info on how to bug the hig
her-ups and get out of the military service are all good. Get samples of other n
ewspapers already in operation to get the flavor of writing that has become popu
lar.Distributing the paper is really more of a problem than the publishing. Here
you run smack into Catch 22, which says, "no printed matter may be distributed
on a military base without prior written permission of the commanding officer."
No such permit has been granted in military history. A few court battles have ha
d limited success and you should go through the formality of obtaining a permit.
Send the first issue of the paper to your C.O. with a cover letter stating wher
e and when you intend to distribute the paper on the base. In no part of the app
lication should you list your names. Have a civilian, preferably a civil liberti
es lawyer, sign the declaration of intent. If more info is requested, go over it
with the lawyer before responding, Natch, they're going to want to know who you
are and where you get your bread, but fuck 'em. Whether or not you get a permit
or have a successful court battle is pretty academic. If the military pigs catc
h you handing out an underground paper on the base, you're headed for trouble. U
se civilian volunteers from your local peace group in as many public roles as po
ssible. They'll be glad to help out.Print and distribute as many copies as you c
an rather than concentrating on an expensively printed paper with numerous pages
. The very existence of the paper around the base is the most important info the
paper can offer. Leave some in mess halls, theaters, benches, washrooms, and ot
her suitable spots. Off base get the paper to sympathetic reporters, coffee hous
es, colleges and the like. Outside U.S.O. centers and bus terminals are a good p
lace to get the paper out. Rely on donations, so you can make the paper free. Ge
t it together. Demand the right to join the army of your choice. The People's Ar
my! As Joe Hill said in one of his songs, "Yes, I'll pick up a gun but I won't g
uarantee which way I'll point it."
NEWS SERVICES
Aside from UPS, which is the association of papers, there are five news
services that we know of that you might be interested in subscribing to for nati
onal stories, photos, production ideas, news of other papers and general movemen
t dope. LNS is the best known. It sends out packets once a week that include abo
ut thirty pages with original articles, eye-witness reports, reprints from forei
gn papers and photographs. They tend to be heavily political rather than cultura
l and view themselves as molders of ideology rather than strictly a service orga
nization of the underground papers. A subscription costs $15.00 per month, but i
f you're just starting out they are good about slow payments and such.You should
get in the habit of sending special articles, in particular eye-witness account
s of events that other papers might use, to one or more of the news services for
distribution. If you hear of an important event that you would like to cover in
your newspaper, call the paper in that area for a quick report. They might send
you photos if you agree to reciprocate.
¥ LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE-160 Claremont Ave., New York, N.Y. 10027 (212) 7
49-2200
¥ COLLEGE PRESS SERVICE-1779 Church St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20036 (202)
387-7575
¥ CHICANO PRESS ASSOCIATION-La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles, California 90
031
¥ G.I. PRESS SERVICE-Rm 907, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
¥ FREE RANGER INTERTRIBAL NEWS SERVICE-Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y.
10014 (212) 691-6973
A complete and up-to-date list of G.I. underground papers can be obtaine
d by writing to G.I. Press Service, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Rm 907, Washington, D
.C. 20005. G.I. Alliance provides excellent national newsletters with all sorts
of ways to fuck up the Army. Write G.I. Alliance, PO Box 9087, Washington, D.C.
20003. The phone is (202) 544-1654. American Serviceman's Union, 156 5th Avenue,
New York, N.Y., 10010 will also help, as well as provide legal and medical aid
to G.I.'s.A complete and up to date list of Chicano underground papers can be ob
tained by writing to Chicano Press Association, La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles,
California 90031.The Young Lords Organization paper Palante can be obtained by
writing to Young Lords Party, Ministry of Finance, 1678 Madison Ave., New York,
N.Y. 10029. It's $5.75 for 24 issues.The Black Panther Party paper can be obtain
ed by writing to Black Panther Party, Ministry of Information, Box 2967, Custom
House, San Francisco, Calif. 94126. It's $7.50 for 52 issues.
THE UNDERGROUND PRESS
¥ ALBION'S VOICE, Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
¥ AMAZING GRACE, 212 W. College Ave. Tallahassee, Fla. $6/26 issues.
¥ ANGRY CITY PRESS, 14016 Orinoco Ave., E. Cleveland, Ohio 44112
¥ ANN ARBOR ARGUS, 708 Arch St., Ann Arbor, Mich. 48104 $3/yr.
¥ AQUARIAN ORACLE, 8003 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A., Calif. .50/iss.
¥ AQUARIAN TIMES, 331 Forest Acres Shipping Ctr., Easley, S.C. 29640
¥ AQUARIAN WEEKLY, 292 Main St., Hackensack, N.J.
¥ ASTRAL PROJECTION, Box 4383, Albuquerque, N. Mex. 87106
¥ AUGUR, 207 Ransom Bldg., 115 E. 11th Ave., Eugene, Ore. 97401
¥ BARD OBSERVER, Box 76, Bard College, Annandale-on-the Hudson, N.Y. 12504
¥ BERKELEY BARB, Box 1247, Berkeley, Calif. 94715 $6/yr.
¥ BERKELEY TRIBE, Box 9049, Berkeley, Calif. 94709 $8/
¥ BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 32217
$2/12 iss.
¥ BROADSIDE/FREE PRESS, Box 65, Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $4.50/yr.
¥ BURNING RIVER NEWS, 12027 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, Ohio 44112 $5/yr.
¥ CHINOOK, 1452 Pennsylvania St., Denver, Col., 80203 $6/50 iss.
¥ THE CLAM COMMUNITY LIBERATOR, Box 13101, St. Petersburg, Fla. 33733
¥ COME OUT, Box 92, Village Station, New York, N.Y. 10014, $6.50/12
iss.
¥ COUNTRY SENSES, Box 465, Woodbury, Conn. 06798 $5/yr.
¥ CREEM, 3729 Cass Ave., Detroit, Mich. 48201 $5/24 iss.
¥ DAILEY PLANET, Suite 2-3514 S. Dixie Hwy., Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133 $5
/yr.
¥ DALLAS NOTES, Box 7140, Dallas, Texas 75209 $5/yr.
¥ DIFFERENT DRUMMER, Box 2638, Little Rock, Ark. 72203 $2/14 iss.
¥ DISTANT DRUMMER, 420 South St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19147 $7/yr.
¥ DOOR TO LIBERATION, Box 2022, San Diego, Calif. 92112 $4/26 iss.
¥ DWARFF, Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y. 10014
¥ EAST VILlAGE OTHER, 20 E. 12 St., N.Y., N.Y. 10003 $6/yr.
¥ EL GRITO DEL NORTE, Box 466, Fairview Station, Espanola, N.M. $4/yr.
¥ EYE OF THE BEAST, Box 9218, Tampa, Fla. 33604 ¥ FERAFERIA, Box 691, Altade
na, Calif. 91001 $4/13 iss.
¥ FIFTH ESTATE, 1107 W. Warren, Detroit, Mich. 48201 $3.75/yr.
¥ FILMMAKERS NEWSLETTER, 80 Wooster St., N.Y., N.Y. 10012
¥ FREEDOM NEWS, Box 1087, Richmond, Calif. 94801 $2.50/12 iss.
¥ FREE SPAGHETTI DINNER, Box 984, Santa Cruz, Calif. 95060 $4/yr.
¥ FREE YOU, 117 University Ave., Palo Alto, Calif. 94301 $6/yr.
¥ FUSION, 909 Beacon St., Boston, Mass. 02215 $5/yr. ¥ GEST, Box 1079, North
land Center, Southfield, Mich. 48075 $2/yr.
¥ GREAT SPECKLED BIRD, Box 54495, Atlanta, Ga. 30308 $6/yr.
¥ GREENFEEL, Jms Madison Law Inst., 4 Patchin Pl., N.Y., N.Y. 10011
¥ GUARDIAN, 32 W. 22 St., N.Y. N.Y. 10010 ¥ HAIGHT-ASHBURY TRIBUNE, 1778 Hai
ght St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 $10/yr.
¥ HARRY, 233 East 25th St., Baltimore, Md., 21218 $4/yr.
¥ INDIANAPOLIS FREE PRESS, Box 225, Indianapolis, Ind. 46206 $5/26 is
s.
¥ INQUISITION, Box 3882, Charlotte, N.C. 28203 $2/6 iss.
¥ KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 5457, Milwaukee, Wisc. 53211 $5/26 iss.
¥ KUDZU, Box 22502, Jackson, Miss. 39205 $4/yr.
¥ LAS VEGAS FREE PRESS, Box 14096, Las Vegas, Nev. 89114 $7/yr.
¥ LEFT FACE, Box 1595, Anniston, Ala. 36201
¥ LIBERATION, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012
¥ LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE, 160 Claremont Ave., N.Y. 10027 $15/mth.
¥ LIBERATOR, Box 1147, Morgantown, W. Virginia 26505
¥ LONGBEACH FREE PRESS, 1255 E. 10, Long Beach, Ca. 90813 $6/25 iss.
¥ LOS ANGELES FREE PRESS, 7813 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, Ca. 90036
$6/yr.
¥ MADISON KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 881, Madison, Wisc. 53701 $5/yr.
¥ MARIJUANA REVIEW, Calif. Instit. of Arts, 7500 Glenoaks Blvd., Burbank,
Calif. 91504 ¥ MEMPHIS ROOT, Box 4747, Memphis, Tenn. 38104 $3.50/yr.
¥ METRO, 906 W. Forest, Detroit, Mich. 48202 $4/yr.
¥ MODERN UTOPIAN, P.0. Drawer A; Diamond Hts. Sta., S.F., Ca. 94131 $4
/yr.
¥ MOTHER EARTH NEWS, Box 38 Madison, Ohio 44057 $5/yr
¥ NEWS FROM NOWHERE, Box 501, Dekalb, Ill. 60115 $5/yr.
¥ NEW PRAIRIE PRIMER, Box 726, Cedar Falls, Iowa 50613 $4/20 iss.
¥ NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE, 110 St. Marks Place, N.Y. $5/lifetime
¥ NOLA EXPRESS, Box 2342, New Orleans, La. 70116 $3/yr.
¥ NORTH CAROLINA ANVIL, Box 1148, Durham, N.C. 27702 $7.50/yr.
¥ NORTHWEST PASSAGE, Box 105, Fairhaven Sta., Bellingham, Wash. 98225
$5/yr.
¥ OLD MOLE, 2 Brookline St., Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $5/20 iss.
¥ ORACLE OF SAN FRANCISCO, 1764 Haight St., San Francisco, Ca. 94117
¥ OTHER SCENES, Box B, Village Station, N.Y. 10014 $6/yr.
¥ OTHER VOICE, c/o Why Not Inc., Box 3175, Shreveport, La. 71103 $5/yr.
¥ PAPER WORKSHOP, 6 Helena Ave., Larchmont, N.Y. 10538 $4/yr.
¥ PEOPLES DREADNAUGHT, Box 1071, Beloit, Wisc.
¥ PHILADELPHIA FREE PRESS, Box 1986, Philadelphia, Pa. 19105
¥ PROTEAN RADISH, Box 202, Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514 $8/yr.
¥ PROVINCIAL PRESS, Madala Print Shop, Box 1276, Spokane, Wash. 99210
$5/yr.
¥ QUICKSILVER TIMES, 1736 R St., N.W. Wash., D.C. 20009 $8/yr.
¥ RAG, 2330 Guadalupe, Austin, Tex. 78705 $7.50/yr.
¥ RAT, 241 E. 14 St., N.Y. 10009 $6/yr.
¥ REBIRTH, Box 729, Phoenix, Ariz. 85001
¥ RISING UP ANGRY, Box 3746, Merchandise Mart, Chicago, Ill. 60654
$5/yr.
¥ ROOSEVELT TORCH, 430 S. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60605
¥ SAN DIEGO STREET JOURNAL, Box 1332, San Diego, Calif. 92112
¥ SECOND CITY, c/o The Guild, 2136 N. Halsted, Chicago, Ill. 60614
$6/26 iss.
¥ SECOND COMING, Box 491 Ypsilanti, Mich. 48197
¥ SEED, 950 W. Wrightwood, Chicago, Ill. 60614 $6/yr.
¥ SPACE CITY, 1217 Wichita, Houston, Tex. 77004
¥ SPECTATOR, c/o S. Indiana Media Corp., Box 1216, Bloomington, Ind.
47401
¥ SUNDANCE, 1520 Hill, Ann Arbor, mich. 48104 $3.50/yr.
¥ UPROAR, 44 Wimbleton Lane, Great Neck, N.Y. 11023
¥ VIEW FROM THE BOTTOM, 632 State St., New Haven, Conn. 06510 $5/20 is
s.
¥ VORTEX, 706 Mass St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044 $5/24 iss.
¥ WALRUS, Box 2307, Sta. A, Champaign, Ill. 61820
¥ WATER TUNNEL, Box 136, State College, Pa. 16801 $3/Yr.
¥ WILLIAMETTE BRIDGE, 6 SW 6th, Portland, Ore. 97209 $5/26 iss.
¥ WIN, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012 $5/yr.
¥ WORKER'S POWER, 14131 Woodward Ave., Highland Park, Mich. 48203 $3.50/yr
.USA/UPS
ASSOCIATE MEMBERS
¥ AKWESASNE NOTES, Roosevelton, N.Y. 13683 .50/iss.
¥ ALESTLE, c/o Paul Gorden, 7404 Tower Lake, Apt. 1D, Edwardsville,
Ill. 62025
¥ ALLIANCE MAGAZINE, Box 229, Athens, Ohio 45701 ¥ ALL YOU CAN EAT, R.P.O. 4
949, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903 $3/yr.
¥ ALLTOGETHER, 44208 Montgomery-33 Palm Desert, Calif. $10/yr.
¥ ALBION'S VOICE, P.0. Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
¥ AQUARIAN HERALD, Box 83, Virginia Beach, Va. 23458 ¥ ATLANTIS, 204 Oxford,
Dayton, Ohio ¥ BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 3321
7 $3.50/12 iss.
¥ COLLECTIVE, 614 Clark St., Evanston, Ill. 60201
¥ COME TOGETHER, P.O. Box 163, Encino, Calif. 91316
¥ CROSSROADS, Hill School, Pottstown, Pa. 19464 ¥ DALLAS NEWS (CORP), P.0. B
ox 7013, Dallas, Texas 75209 $/24 iss.
¥ THE D.C. GAZETTE, 109 8th N.E., Washington, D.C. 20002 $5/yr.
¥ EDGE CITY, 116 Standart St., Syracuse, N.Y. 13201 $3/yr.
¥ EVERYWOMAN, 6516 W. 83 St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90045 $2.50/iss.
¥ FAIR WITNESS, P.0. Box 7165, 0akland Sta., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15213
¥ FOX VALLEY KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 252, Oshkosh, Wisc. 54901
¥ FREE PRESS OF LOUISVILLE, 1438 S. First St., Louisville, Ky. 40208
$6/yr.
¥ HIGH GAUGE, Box 4491, University, Ala. 35486 $5/Yr.
¥ THE HIPS VOICE, P.O. Box 5132, Santa Fe, N. Mexico 87501 $5/24 iss.
¥ HOME NEWS CO., P.O. Box 5263, Grand Central Station, N.Y. 10017
¥ HUNDRED FLOWERS, Box 7152, Minneapolis, Minn. 55407 $9/yr.
¥ IT AIN'T ME BABE, c/o W.L. Office Box 6323, Albany, Calif. 94706
$6/yr.
¥ LIBERATED GUARDIAN, 14 Cooper Sq., New York, N.Y. 10003 $10/yr.
¥ THE LONG ISLAND FREE PRESS, P.O. Box 162, Westbury, N.Y. 11590 $6/2 yr.
¥ NEW TIMES, Box J, Temple, Ariz. 85281 $10/52 iss.
¥ NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND, P.O. Box 15081, San Francisco, Calif. 94115
¥ OUR TOWN (COLLECTIVE), Box 611, Eau Claire, Wisc.
¥ PALANTE YLP, 1678 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. ¥ PROTOS, 1110 N. Edgemont
St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90029 $3/yr.
¥ PURPLE BERRIES, 449 West Seventh Ave., Columbus Ohio
¥ REARGUARD, P.O. Box 8115, Mobile, Ala. 36608 $4/yr.
¥ THE S.S. PENTANGLE, Box 4429, New Orleans, La. 70118 $4/20 iss.
¥ ST. LOUIS OUTLAW, Box 9501, Cabanne Sta., St. Louis, Mo. 63161
¥ SUSQUEHANNA BUGLER, 700 Market St., Williamsport, Pa. 17701 .25/iss.
¥ TASTY COMIX, Box 21101, Wash., D.C. 20009
¥ THE TIMES NOW, Box 676, Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133
¥ TUSCON FREE PRESS, Box 3403, College Sta., Tuscon, Ariz. 85716CANADA/UPS