Scharf’s Comments on Hacker’s

A Pocket Style Manual,

4th Edition

1a. Redundancies are superfluous and unnecessary.

Therefore, repetition should be avoided.
Many students use redundant “transitions”. Most readers have good
memories: you may gently refer to what they read in the preceding
sentence or at the end of the preceding paragraph, but please do not
bore
the reader with repetition.

1b. Useless words. Scharf’s RULE OF PARSIMONY: Shorter is better.

need to  should is obligated to  should
is required to  must able to  omit
is reflective of  reflects is indicative of  indicates, means
whether or not  whether
Note that these changes yield no loss of meaning. Parsimony does not
mean omitting words that convey essential meaning. And parsimony
does not mean, as one student suggested, leaving out all the verbs.
SILLY REDUNDANCIES: “a socially just society”; “my own personal opinion”
1c. Look for clues to unnecessary complexity:
there is…that… is one that is…
that is…
EXAMPLES:
 They created a policy that is more efficient.  They created a
more efficient policy.  This policy is one that is more efficient. 
This
policy is more efficient.  It is my desire to be able to possess a small,
three-wheeled vehicle that is suitable for children because it is not
motorized and also is red in color that is able to be reflective of a light
that is bright.  I want a shiny, red tricycle.  There are three
attributes that my tricycle should possess: it should be small in size,
red in color, and shiny in appearance.  My tricycle should be small,
red, and shiny.
USE APPOSITIVES. “Immanuel Kant is a deontological philosopher who
emphasized the categorical imperative.” CHANGE TO “Immanuel Kant, a
deontological philosopher, emphasized the categorical imperative.”
2. Using active verbs is another way of removing unnecessary
complexity.
Most writers rely on a very small repertoire of verbs. Reduce your use
of
the verb to be: is, are. Consider using a thesaurus to enhance your
verb
vocabulary and retain your readers’ interest. But please check the
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dictionary definitions of unfamiliar words.

”Don’t be afraid of pronouns.” CHANGE TO “Don’t fear
pronouns.”
3. Whenever you use paired items or items in a series, be sure that they
are
all the same part of speech: all nouns, all gerunds, all infinitives.
(See item 44.)

7a. Misplacing only is a very common error. Mary only thought about
asking
for help after she earned a “D” on her first paper. [Implied:
Unfortunately, she never actually did anything about it.] Consider this
revision: Mary thought about asking for help only after she earned a
“D” on her first paper. Only modifies and underscores the word it
precedes: only after she earned a “D”, and not before.
Another common error is misplacing not: All high school teachers are
not good writers. Of course, the intended meaning is very different:
Not all high school teachers are good writers. Although seldom used,
the word some might be appropriate here: Some high school
teachers are not good writers. [Not all = Some]
7e. Add Scharf’s RULE OF FLOW: Avoid unnecessary interruptions
between the subject and the predicate. The sentence, on the
other hand, flows more smoothly without interruptions. Compare: On
the other hand, the sentence flows more smoothly without
interruptions. On rare occasions, rhetorical interruptions can be used
for emphasis. For example, see my parsimony comment (1b, above).
8a. Overcome choppy sentences by creating a compound sentence or by
adding a subordinate clause to the main clause.
8b. Instead of beginning a sentence with its subject, try placing a
subordinate
clause, an extended phrase, or a conjunctive adverb before the main
clause. This is a good way to recognize the RULE OF FLOW (7e). But
remember that the purpose is also variety: don’t simply substitute one
repetitive syntax for another.
9a. individuals  people persons  people
the human  people we as  we or omit
Avoid we as. For example, we as Americans. If your purpose is to
contrast Americans with Norwegians, simply write we Americans.
But if there is no explicit contrast, simply write Americans. If the
context already specifies that your discussion applies only to
Americans, simply write we.

Similarly, don’t write we as individuals, unless you wish to make an

explicit contrast to we as part of a group. Conversely, don’t write we
as
a society, unless you make an explicit contrast to we as individuals.
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It’s a bit silly to write we as humans, unless you wish to make an

explicit contrast to we as mammals. In my view, it is redundant to
write we humans, because we couldn’t be anything else: your use of
writing, a medium exclusive to humans, pretty much excludes gorillas
and porpoises and all other creatures.
Apart from some Philosophy writers, most people think it’s silly to write of
“the human person”. The qualifier, “human”, serves only to distinguish a
“human person” from other kinds of persons: for example, a canine person, a
bovine person, an equine person, a porcine person. In writing for my classes,
you will never need to compare people to dogs, cows, horses, or pigs.
ADAPT YOUR VOCABULARY TO FIT YOUR AUDIENCE.
9c. In general, avoid gender-exclusive pronouns: his, her, his or her. In
most
cases, your intended meaning is plural, so you should retain they and
change the antecedent (subject) to plural. Every student should
submit
his or her best writing.  All students should submit their best writing.
9e. See also Scharf’s Guide to Preferred Word Usage.
10d. None is singular. Think of this word as a contraction: not + one =
n’one.
None of the students has yet submitted a final draft.
11c. In describing something that has not yet happened, you might
sometimes
use the future tense and sometimes use the subjunctive mood.
Although the meanings are different, in some cases either form will do.
But please do not mix them together. This error is a “verb shift”.
12a. Don’t use he or she. See 9c. If your plural pronoun “they” does not
match a singular antecedent, you are probably using a “false
singular”.
The solution is to change the antecedent to a plural form. Example:
“Kant declared that the human person should treat others like they
want to be treated.” CHANGE TO: “Kant declared that people should
treat others as they want to be treated.”
Do not fear pronouns. The following construction is not permissible:
“If a person has earned their wealth through fair transactions, then
that person is able to deserve a better life.”
CHANGE TO “People who earn their wealth through fair transactions
deserve a better life.”
12b. Please take special note of Hacker’s warnings about vague reference
of this, that, or which, as well as indefinite reference of they, it, or you.
Using gerunds (p. 222) is an excellent way to remedy indefinite
references.
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EXAMPLE:Just because you graduated from high school, it doesn’t mean that
you know how to write well.  Your graduating from high school
doesn’t meant that you know how to write well.
12c. Mature writers know how to use possessive pronouns with gerunds.
 I appreciate you coming to my party.  I appreciate your coming
to my party.  I recall him promising to be here.  I recall his
promising to be here.  Them leaving nearly broke his heart.  Their
leaving nearly broke his heart.
12d. Please remember that the pronoun that refers to things and the
pronoun who refers to people. Using that to refer to people tells the
reader that you
haven’t mastered the simple distinction between who and whom.
14c. In certain literary forms, fragments are acceptable for emphasis. But
there are no acceptable fragments in formal social science writing.
15a. Please give special attention to these uses of the comma and the
15 b. semi-colon as ways to overcome run-on sentences.
17a. Commas are sometimes used to join two independent clauses. Be
sure that your second clause has a subject. See 17j.
17b. This is a common punctuation oversight. Please use a comma to
separate an introductory subordinate clause or extended phrase from
the main clause.
17e. Please note the use of commas for nonrestrictive clauses and phrases
and
for appositives. Equally important, remember that to “set off” such
elements always requires a PAIR of commas.
17f. Conjunctive adverbs are always preceded by a period or a semi-colon
and always followed by a comma. For example, “As a matter of fact,
…” and “language; moreover, …”
17i. Some students make comma usage in dates a bit too complicated.
Please note the many exceptions in this section.
17j. A very common student error is the use of a comma following a
coordinating conjunction: and, but, yet. See p. 222 for the difference
between a coordinating conjunction (not followed by a comma) and a
conjunctive adverb (always followed by a comma). Some students
mistakenly equate but and yet with however and therefore. Mixing
these two parts of speech produces many comma errors.

Coordinating Conjunction Conjunctive Adverb

Use MORE Often Use LESS Often
And no comma Furthermore, Moreover,
But no comma However,
Or no comma On the other hand,
So no comma Therefore, Thus,
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Yet no comma Nevertheless,

Notwithstanding,
NOTE: Insecure writers sometimes try to add “importance” to sentences by
using an inflated conjunctive adverb when a more modest coordinating
conjunction would be more fitting. [ALSO SEE 1b, ABOVE]  Rain began
falling; therefore, I opened my umbrella.  Rain began falling, so I
opened my umbrella.  His argument was eloquent; nevertheless, I
couldn’t accept his conclusions.  His argument was eloquent, yet I
couldn’t accept his conclusions.  They invited me to join them;
however, I chose to stay behind.  They invited me to join them, but I
chose to stay behind.
Another common error occurs when a single subject has two verbs
(predicates): He slipped and fell. In longer sentences, students
mistakenly separate the two predicates with a comma: He slipped,
and fell. In this case the comma creates two main clauses. But the
second clause has no subject. The remedy is to add a subject to
the second clause [He slipped, and he fell.] or to remove the
comma. CHOOSE ONE.
The rule changes if a single subject has three or more verbs: He
slipped, fell, broke his ankle, and never walked again. In this case,
commas are used to separate the series of four verbs.

18a. If you can learn to use the semi-colon properly, everyone will think you
are
a skilled writer.
Despite its name, the semi-colon is NOT related to the colon. The
semi-colon is stronger than a comma and weaker than a period. The
words that precede a semi-colon must be the grammatical equivalent of
the words that follow it. (A) Use a semi-colon to connect two closely
related complete sentences. (B) Use a semi-colon to separate a series
of phrases that contain commas.
18b. Please note that a colon is always preceded by a complete main
clause,
commonly including the object of the predicate.. But many students
ignore this rule and make the mistakes that Hacker notes here.
WRONG: “Rawls’ theory of justice incorporates: the Veil of Ignorance
and the Difference Principle.”
19d. It is wrong to use an apostrophe with possessive pronouns: his’, her’s,
their’s, it’s. Nevertheless, many people misspell it’s.
21b. When you write a question, do you sometimes forget to end with a
question mark.
21d. Some students use dashes simply to avoid learning proper
punctuation. This ploy won’t work in my classes.
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21e. Never use parentheses except for source citations. If your

parenthetical
information is pertinent, write it directly into the text; if not, omit it.
21h. Never use a slash in formal writing. Never.
22a. So your philosophy text uses capital letters for many common nouns?
I could not care less! Hacker’s rules are unambiguous: utility,
deontology, justice are all written in lower case.
23c. Italics and underlining serve the same function. Please don’t use
both.
30a. Because social science writing rarely uses direct quotations, you
should
develop your skills in paraphrasing. Hacker provides good standards.
Direct quotations are not decoration: they serve very specific
purposes.
30a. Of course, sometimes a direct quotation is very appropriate. Follow
Hacker’s suggestions for “signal phrases”. Using “states that” is a
sign of an immature writer.
32. Here is where you find the MLA style for citations and references.
44. Please note the usage problems that I see most often:
affect, effect data, datum hopefully
among, between different from in regards to
amount, number due to like, as
cite, site etc. quote, quotation
criteria, criterion fewer, less who, which, that
reason that (not reason is because; not reason why]

Add Scharf’s USAGE RULES:

however Please don’t overuse this word. It has a pretty strong
meaning:
it introduces something that contradicts what appeared in the
preceding sentence or clause.
therefore Please don’t overuse this word. It should be used to signal
the
conclusion of a logical argument or to identify the effect of a
cause
mentioned in the preceding sentence or clause.
you This word does not belong in formal writing.
45. Your knowing these grammatical terms is essential:
antecedent infinitive
conjunctive adverb predicate
coordinating conjunction subjunctive mood
gerund subordinate (dependent)
clause
independent (main) clause transitive verb
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KEY TO INSTRUCTOR’S NOTES ON WRITING ERRORS:

Numbers refer to Hacker’s numbers for writing problems: 1b, 17j,

18b (see inside back cover).

U means Usage. See dictionary and Guide to Preferred Word Usage

P means Parsimony. Remove useless words and unnecessary

complexity. See Comment on Hacker and 1a, 1b, 1c.

Add Scharf’s RULE OF SELF-RESPECT:

Never let your instructor read your first draft.
Scharf 9-14-06