the journey within - part 2

the gift of forgetting

You know, i really don't care anymore some of you label me 'crazy'; i've been fighting this war
against Satanic forces for generations of past lives. In this life, around 45 years - ever since my
grandma whispered in my ear (at 3 years old) the 'secret of life': God Is Love. Since that time,
demons have attacked me in: night terrors, character attacks, morale attacks, 'seduction attempts'
(such as when a 'friend' invited me to give him a blow-job as a child), sibling attacks (such as
when my middle-brother forced 'gay sex' (not actual anal intercourse but bad enough) on me),
(and if you can believe it - i truly have nothing against gay or lesbian even after all that shit), and
continuous tormenting by peers when i was a child. It took me years to forgive those tormenters.
But in a sense - really no time at all because they were all being Satanically manipulated. As i
told you before: the enemy is not the person hurting you - it is the idea/force manipulating them
.. My earliest past-life memories were as Moses' dog (so i was joking in one essay but serious
here) Samuel "Sam" for short (any wonder my nickname in this life is sam?) .. At that time
Moses promised me "Sam, you'll have your chance - I promise you." (he was referring to the war
against Satan). i cannot guarantee that was word-for-word because past-life memories are a little
fuzzy and get confused with imagination but i'm fairly certain that 'conversation' with Moses took
place. (If you can consider a dog's whining, barking, and sympathetic tones 'their side' of the
conversation.) Fast forward to WWII where i was a gas chamber operator for the Nazis. Don't
automatically say "Sam! You're an evil person!" because i was the only operator to openly object
to what we were doing, get stoned (beaten in the head) by Jewish women who did not believe i
was a Jew-sympathizer in a concentration camp (this was after a coworker informed on me), and
left for dead. Someone dragged my body out or i crawled through barbed wire - but somehow i
made it to a train station where i believe i was shot in the head by a Nazi border guard .. So you
can see now why i subtitled this essay "the gift of forgetting". If we all remembered our past lives
in this detail, the mental hospitals would be overflowing with patients (as in one excellent newer
Twilight Zone / Outer Limits (i cannot remember which)). Perhaps if we were all as emotionally
detached to our past-lives, we could handle remembering. i haven't used any hypnotherapy - just
must be the right time in my life (this life) or perhaps a direct result of previous meditation (or
both). Again, if you can believe it, i have nothing against Jews (even being stoned in the head in
a past-life by Jews) or demoralized by them in this life (i've encountered too many arrogant
materialistic Jews). After all, Jesus was a Jew and get this - i was his sandal maker! (He liked my
sandals!:) i'll never forget his smile when he picked up his last pair. How could you forget that
smile! Now many of you are reading this presently for pure entertainment value and delight in
mocking me - but i assure you - you are employed by Satan if you do this. i cannot guarantee
these 'memories' are valid but i Guarantee you i am fighting a war with Satanic forces. Their
'psychic' attacks on me are becoming more frequent. They must feel threatened by my essays..

You see, they feed off fear, mistrust, envy, greed,.. - all 'negative' emotions - this is 'orgasmic
material' for them. Any time you're afraid, they 'get off' on this. If you're a masochist and enjoy
pain, you're basically working for Satan because you're providing energy for Satanic forces. If
you continually go to theme-parks for roller-coaster rides and enjoy the thrill and fear of the
rides, you're working for Satan (for the same reason). Talk about 'battery' in the Matrix; you're a
super-lithium / generator for Satan! i know this all sounds totally wacko for many but if you've
been haunted by demons your entire life, you'd understand.
Remember my reference to the two 'beach babes' at Bal Harbor and what their psychic said about
me? That's why i really could not understand it; i've spent my life (and many past lives) fighting
Satanic forces. True, i've spent a few hours inside a go-go bar admiring the women (who are
basically tricked and exploited) but many more hours outside the bar arguing with them about
materialism. They always 'win' the argument because i cannot provide 'proof' to them anti-
materialism is an inherently better way of life. i refuse to bring Jesus into the argument on
principle so my position appears weak. But i assure you - only appears. If they could see with
spiritual eyes - my heart right now - they would see a blinding Light inside. i call it "the Christ
heart" and He lends it to me on occasion, when i need. (As i've repeatedly said, i'm not a
Christian but believe we are All Children of God.) Sometimes i need to think of myself as
Spouse of God because She, at times like these, seems to be my only true Friend.

Demons usually attack me in the night when i'm sleeping or about to fall asleep. This transition
period must be a 'weak moment' for humans when they are easily preyed upon. i've sensed clearly
evil entities hovering above me or near me sometimes resembling eels or black snakes. On rare
occasion, i've allowed possession 'just to see what happens' but it's nothing 'life transforming' (as
in possession by the Holy Spirit): i experience an intense buzzing sensation and 'ecstacy' from the
entity but it's a false elation. (As if they've beaten Me - which can't happen.) She's infinitely
powerful in her Love .. i've only had two direct conversations with Satan that i can remember:
one was at night in a hotel in St. Charles, MO and another in Davie, FL also at night. The first
conversation is very fuzzy in my mind (i remember Jesus' smile much better). Just something
about power on Earth.. The second conversation was also about power but this time i remember
him saying "You show me." (i think he was referring to power over human beings.) It's funny
because i have absolutely no power over people .. Even when i worked at the gas-chamber, i died
inside when i heard the screams and died again when i had to carry the bodies, foam on mouth,
contorted faces and limbs.. i think you get the picture. We human beings can behave in a sick
(mentally sick) manner - most if not all of my Nazi coworkers truly believed we were on God's
side of the war. We did it for Germany and we did it for God. (NOT for Hitler.) So you can see
now why i've attacked major world religions (and Americans) in Better Way. Ideologies and
rabid adherence to religion have killed at least ten times the number in conflict over resources.
Perhaps the ratio is closer to 100:1 .. One more thing about mental illness. You tell me what is
sick: is it sick to use a child's gifts against themselves (as in creativity, curiosity, even
compassion) because that's what Satan's done with humanity even from before we started
writing. The Standard Model in physics is only one example of Satanic manipulation. So this war
against Satan that i'm fighting is not just over human potential, it's also based on principle: i fight
Satan because he's mentally ill. Only a sick mind would trick a child to harm him/herself. Only a
sick mind would use that child's gifts to hurt themselves .. i don't know if it's his expansive
lifespan or perhaps his resentment of God or us .. But he's one mother sick fuck. And i will beat
that mother fuck into oblivion - if it's the last thing i do.