The Whipping Post.

ISSUE 2 MUNSTER, FRIDAY, SEPT 1, 2007 FREE

 LIMERICK ADVERTISING

2

STAFF
EDITORS : Jimmy Mcsavage
Emmet Lynch, Richard Head
DESIGN : Steve Johnson
ADVERTS : Clara Cummins
Bill O’ Brien
SOUND
Ian G, Rory, P Boland, Brendan, S Millar, Paul Tarpey, P dowling, Emmet, Laura, Bill, Vinny Wall, Andy G, Roy Keane. Mickey J.
The Whipping Post.
CONTACT SUBMISSIONS SUBMISSIONS
EMAIL: whipeditor@gmail.com WORDS : Neil Ainsworth, R PHOTO : Steve Johnson.
mcsavage7@gmail.com Jacobs, James Mcgregor, Amber,
WEB : myspace.com/postwhip Karol Clancy, Drysey, Elk ILLUSTRATIONS : Dave
CORK : 085 8163091 Dangerfield, Nicky Marks, Mark Crowley, Embop Bebop, Laura
LIMERICK: 085 8117993 Keane. Fahey, Doc Jenings, Jimmy
Mcsavage, Tojun Mai, Andy G,
Pheat da beat. James Ojeje.

LEGAL
The veiws expressed in The Whipping Post are those of the respective contributors and are not necessarily shared by the newspaper or any of its staff.
Whipping Media accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs illustrtaions or promotional items. Copyright in Ireland and abroad
as held by the publisher or by freelance contributiors. Whipping Media©2007

HOLA
Greetings all, welcome to The Whipping Post, an eclectic mix of humour, music, propaganda and insight.
Over the coming months you will be seeing the irregular side of life, fused with subversive humour and
topped off with serious content. We want to inform and entertain, We want to represent voices that don’t
get heard and exhibit stuff that wouldn’t get seen. If you’ve got something worzth saying, here’s the spot.
If your sick of the same old clip clap, hum drum bullshit then read on comrades,
VIVA LA WHIPPING POST.
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01

I’VE
MADE A
BUS EIREANN ARE SICKENED
RIGHT Meet the 12 year old boy who
PACKET
has made thousands of Euro
N ever afraid to delve in to the murky depths of Cork’s
underbelly, The Post has uncovered a scam that has already
robbed you, the tax payer, of thousands of Euro. What’s worse is
that it has deprived those reliable folks down in Bus Eireann of the
ticket revenue they need to pay their noble drivers. In a north side
housing estate I caught up with Silvio Careca the mastermind of
the operation;
“What I’ve been at is creating my own expressway tickets, like,
and selling them to all the students who go home on the weekends.”
Careca’s soft lilting cork tones belie the actions of this young
criminal. A promising student in secondary school, things went
down hill when his older brother started to attend that infamous
bastion of vice; Limerick Art College. “Yeah, the brother was
studying graphics up in stab city with all those art faggots. We
robbed him a new lap top for Christmas, you know for his studies,
like, and he started using this program called Photoshop. It was
class; he could put anyone’s head on top of naked birds, so it’d look
like they were in the buff”.
Unfortunately, for the good people at Bus Eireann, this innocent
fun took on a more sinister aspect. “I realized you could change
anything with Photoshop, so I began scanning all kinds of stuff
and messing around with it. I forged a few fake I.D’s so me and the
boys could go out on the lash in the Castle Inn, If we didn’t want
to go to school I made up doctor’s certs to give the teachers.” It
was this foray into forgery that led Silvio to come up with his real
money winner, fraud. “I noticed how shit those bus tickets were,
flimsy white crap things, like, and they were charging top dollar
for them too.’’»
I collected a load of old tickets and left them out in the sun so they’d
fade, you know? After about a day the sun burnt off the ink and
left behind a blank ticket. All I did then was scan a few other tickets
and rearrange the letters on Photoshop to whatever I wanted. Then
I’d just print on to the blank ticket on a normal printer, piece of piss.
All the students went mad for them. I could sell at half the price of
Bus Eireann and still make a packet.”
An ingenious plan, what could this bright young man have
achieved if his head hadn’t been turned by the easy money of crime.
In a disturbing development, The Post had learnt that Photoshop
is available on all computer formats and easily copied from one
hard drive to another. Old bus tickets are to be found on the floor
of any of our city’s fine public transport. This scam could literally
be done by anyone. I asked Careca if he felt any remorse for his
actions. “Shur they’re just a bunch of feckwits who charge way
too much for a shitty service thats never on time, fuck em i say.”
Chilling indeed.
STEVE JOHNSON/neil ainsworth

Whipping Post Launch Party

Post T-Shirts crafted by legendary T-shirt
designer Vincent Wall of Fresh Meat, we
also got some fine badges for you to pin to
your member and lots of copies of the first
issue which will surely become a collectors
item in the near future, you can also expect
to see some some really cool visuals supplied
by the lads of Whipping Media, we’ve been
keepin em in the finest collie so we’ll expect
nuthin but excellence from em.
A chance to pick
up some fine
com/postwhip. If you are interested in
contributing or just simply want to get
involved then it would be a good idea to
head down to either launch and talk to the
lads of the Post, Jimmy & Steve are a very
open minded pair and like nothing more
than a few pints and a chat.
DOCTOR JENNINGS
MEDICAL QUERIES AWNSERED

S
eptember 6th is an exciting date
for us at the Post as it sees the
official launch party of The
Whipping Post which will be
blasting off like a nuclear proppelled rocket
into the nethersphere from the great old
musical venue that is Mickey Martins on
Augustinian lane in Limerick. Yes we’ll be
using Mickeys as our launch pad so expect
a tasty line up of DJ’s featuring Johnny
Doobs and other exceptional local Limerick
talent.
We’ve got lots of free promotional material
to give away including official Whipping
promotional
merchandise
The Cork Launch will be a little later in the
month of September as we are currently
in discussions with a very nice venue in the
heart of the city, you will also be able to pick SEAN REGAN: How much Fags is it safe to
up promotional merchandise at this launch smoke?
and hopefully see some live music on the DR. JENNINGS: Well Sean, Hard to say
night, we’ll be putting details of this launch exactly, my Uncle Sammy smoked 90 sweet
party up on the internet pretty soon so afton a day and lived til he was 104 but my
when you get a chance go to your nearest other uncle benny never smoked nuthin and
internet box and tap in www.myspace. was killed by a falling piano when he was 29.

4

PROC MUSIC
Since inventing the internet in 1185AD we
at the Peoples Republic of Cork have been
encouraging local acts to get their music
heard online by other Corkonians.
Putting tracks on myspace for people around
the world to download is great but how are
they going to benefit your band beyond
sending you some back-slapping praise and a
few smileys?
Have they become your ‘friend’ just because
they want to paste your comments page with
unsightly flyers and plugs for their own gigs?
While Carlos from Argentina logs on and
tells you that he’s really digging your tunes
there’s not a lot of hope he’ll turn up for your
gig in Fred Zepplins on Friday night. We get
over 20,000 visitors a week on PROC, most
of whom are based in Cork or have some
connection.
The idea is that if some sham out in Blarney
hears your track on PROC and thinks you’re
worth a bus fare and a few pints, chances are
he’ll pop in for a lamp if he’s up to nothing.
Like everything in the music industry, that’s the
theory at least if you know the theory you’ve
a better chance of the practical working out.
Feedback from local bands has been excellent
but the wider industry is a dog-eat-dog cesspit
of moody opinions, personalities and stroke
pulling with people and their various agendas
shouting random advice from all angles.
With so many acts now vying for success, a
sizeable PR industry has grown up around
the Irish music industry in the last ten years.
So what is music PR and how can it get your
band headlining Oxegen next year?
SIMILAR PROPERTY WANTED
Music PR is a skill no different from
auctioneering. Some call it bullshit others call
it positive spin. The crumbling dilapidated
rat infested chicken shed becomes a “unique
quaint period residence with unlimited
potential”. They might think your band is
marginally above average but they’ll make
your press release read like you’re the next
Rory Gallagher.
Remember - don’t cry foul in a dirty business.
PR companies might seem evil but so is the
entire music industry, either get out now or
embrace it with open arms if you want to
make it. If Tom Dunne gets 400 demos a
week he has to have some way of filtering out
the shite ones – preferably by somebody else
and for free.
PR companies do this indirectly by sending
your CD (along with a press release and
photo) in recognisable packaging to the
station so Tom can easily find it. Tom knows
that the PR company aren’t going to send him
total rubbish so its an easy way for him to find
music that wasn’t recorded in a bus station on
a nokia 3310 and then burned to CD.
The PR company follow it up with a phone
call to the DJ or playlist manager’s mobile
and ask with him to play it. If he doesn’t they
call him again.
The big PR companies trade ‘exclusives’
from their big name acts for favours for their
smaller bands (i.e. you) making it a win-
win situation for everyone involved. Any
PR company worth their money will be on
first name terms with influential radio and
newspaper journalists so you don’t have to
spend a fortune buying them drinks, talking
shite and giving the occasional blow job in
the jacks of Lilly’s Bordello to get your track
played. It’s the lesser of two evils.
GRAHAM KEOGH ©
RADIO SESSIONS
Anytime you hear a band or singer songwriter
appear on radio for an interview you can be
double sure their PR company got them the
gig. The artists will be well briefed to make
sure two things are mentioned: release date
and tour dates. You can’t get on radio if you’re
not touring – unless you’re a bona fides music
legend who has arrived in Ireland for the first
time. Radio producers want a story so give
them one.
Suddenly thousands of potential new fans are
listening to your track, to your waffle and to
your instructions on how they can follow up
their interest (iTunes, myspace, tour dates etc)
– far more effective than 10,000 flyers.
Getting a live radio session without a PR
company isn’t that hard. Most local radio
stations have shows dedicated to Irish music
at the weekends and the DJs are always ultra
enthusiastic about giving homegrown acts a
leg up. Invariably their shows have the word
“Green” in the title so they’re easy enough to
track down on the station’s website.
For example, if you’re playing in Dolans in
Limerick on a Thursday night, try to book
yourself in for a session on 95FM the Sunday
before and so on. The key is organising all
this 4-5 months in advance. Producers will
laugh at you if you ring up the station the
night before your gig.
TOURS
Remember a band pulling crowds of 300-400
people consistently in Ireland is viewed as
being as successful as a similar band in the
UK who might be dragging over 2000 to
each show. That’s why up and coming UK
bands are increasingly basing themselves in
this country so they can go home with the PR
punch of having ‘broken’ the Irish market.
01.08.07 www.myspace/postwhip.com
Along with your first single you have to
organise a tour or the PR company won’t
touch you with an extended microphone
boom. This involves a brass neck, a shit load
of CDs, envelopes, stamps and a distressing
amount of phone credit.
The touring template is easy to find. Suss out
the latest up-and-coming acts who are getting
played on national radio and find out where
they’re playing. Copy them.
Ireland has a limited but highly respected
number of music venues dotted at
geographically dispersed points around the
island. If you can get gigs in Cork, Dublin,
Limerick, Galway, Waterford and maybe
one other town near where you’re based (De
Barras in Clonakilty for example), you’ve got
a “tour”.
Now you can start planning your PR, hassling
local music journos to interview you and push
editors to get your photo in their papers the
day of your gig.
If you’ve got a PR company just sit back and
let them do all this for you.
BANG FOR YOUR BUCK
You’ll need at least €1500 for a single release
and upwards of €4000 for an album. It is a
cost that is often hard to justify but weigh up
your options. If you’re happy with a few plays
on your local station and a couple of gigs in
your favourite venue then don’t waste your
cash.
Should you have set your sights a bit higher
and the band are fully committed, then it
might be worth calling up a PR company
and setting up a meeting. Friction PR and
Entertainment Architects are two Dublin
based examples. There are other freelancers
who charge less but might not have not pulled
off the coups that the others have.
Before you send a cheque make sure you’ve
asked them what you should expect in return.
How many national and local radio plays do
they think they can get you? 30, 80, 200 in
the month? Does the fee include VAT and
the administration cost of sending out all the
CDs?
At the end of a given period (usually four
weeks) they’ll send you an excel file with
feedback and comments from all the people
they sent your tunes to: DJs, station playlist
managers and print journalists. This is where
you find out if stations are going to put you
on their playlists or not - the whole point of
music PR when you boil it down.
You can get all the print coverage you like but
if the radio stations aren’t playing your tracks
consistently then it’s going to be tougher to fill
venues outside your home town.
For more see:
WPeoplesRepublicOfCork.com/music
5
 whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01
BANKSY ©
SEND US A STENCIL
O
ver the coming issues The Whipping Post will be promoting
and publishing stencil art work. Each month we’ll be
giving a prize to the best stencil sent into whipeditor@gmail.com.
To get the ball rolling we will be giving you some inspirational
words from our man Banksy. We believe Ireland is in dire need
of more young intelligent graffiti artists who don’t simply scrawl
their names in crap writing or resort to slogans such as ‘fuck the
police’ or just simply«‘fuck you’. Sadly the majority of cities and
towns in Ireland are peppered with this ugly shite, relayed from
small dull minds to walls via spray cans. Intelligent messages,
strong imagery or simply aesthetically pleasing pieces are what
our walls call out for. Everyone has something to say, everyone’s
heads are full of pictures. The artist featured in the next issue will
win an original and limited Whipping post T shirt and other stuff.
So step it up and show the public that this is art not vandalism, this
is urban youth culture that should be given room to develop and
space to breathe. Here’s a word from Banksy:
‘I’m going to speak my mind so this won’t take very long. Graffiti
is not the lowest form of art. Despite having to creep about at
night and lie to your mum its actually the most honest artform
available. There is no elitism or hype, it exhibits on some of the
best walls a town has to offer, and nobody is put off by the price of
admission. A wall has always been the best place to publish your
work. The people who run our cities don’t understand graffiti
because they think nothing has the right to exist unless it makes a
profit. But if you just value money then your opinion is worthless.
They say graffiti frightens people and is symbolic of the decline
of society, but graffiti is only dangerous in the minds of three
types of people; politicians, advertising executives and graffiti
writers. The people who truly deface our neighbourhoods are the
companies that scrawl their giant slogans across buildings and
buses trying to make us feel inadequate unless we buy their stuff.
They expect to be able to shout their message in your face from
every available surface but your never allowed to answer back.
Well, they started this fight and the wall is the weapon of choice
to hit them back’.
Email Print Quality stencils to:
Wwhipeditor@gmail.com
6
WTYPONOWHERE.COM
is a website showcasing experimental typography & font design,
with the aim of exhibiting work in printed and digital form.
To submit your work please email
submit@typenowhere.com
or for more info@typenowhere.com
NUERosis
Living in London there are two things
that you are constantly aware of. The
first is terrorists and the second is plastic
bags, both of which are everywhere. Take
a typical scenario. You’re down at the
local Marks & Spencer (yeah they have them over here too) and
you’re standing in line to pay. One moment you’re checking out
what the person in front of you has in their basket and the next
you start thinking of a terrorist attack. Just like that, standing
in line thinking about corn flakes and the paranoia hits. ”This is
an ideal place for a terrorist attack, busy shop, strike right at the
sacred heart of western civilisation – supermarkets.”
The British government has instructed everyone to think like
terrorists- that is how we will beat them. They’ve even invited
out-of-work paramilitaries to give master classes in conducting
terrorism in schools and churches up and down the country. All
the supermarkets have introduced terror-calming measures in the
form of updated terror level messages, which are replayed over
the PA system every two and a half minutes.
A very reassuring voice announces that the terror attacks are
“unlikely for the next hour and a half and all cooked chickens are
reduced because of salmonella infection.”
‘I make it to the
cashier with out
being blown up’
I conduct some idle chit-chat (also advisable to instil calm amongst
the general populace) with a fellow shopper. She tells me that her
son and daughter are learning basic flight control in PE class
at school should their plane be hijacked while they are on their
school tour. She worries if her son is keeping up, as he is blind.
She says shopping used to be a healthy distraction but now she
feels nowhere is safe, especially not Tesco, as they actively recruit
terrorists.
I make it to the cashier with out being blown up. The cashier sits
inside something that looks like a tollbooth, for her protection.
I only have four items to pay for as I have stashed the rest in
my underpants. She gives me a total of fifteen plastic bags but
I refuse all of them. I quickly mention about how my great
country introduced anti-plastic bag measures and ask for a
cardboard box. She refuses my request. The shoppers behind
become anxious. The cashier pages security and hits an alarm. A
siren goes off. Smoke fills the store. I can here shots. A bullet
hits the Ballymaloe country relish I had in my pants – I’m losing
a lot of relish. As I lay on the shop struggling to breathe a white
plastic bag floats so peacefully in the chaos. It lands on my face
and suffocates me to death.
R. JACOBS
 01.08.07 www.myspace/postwhip.com

FEAR IS THE ONLY AGENDA

I
n a society that believes in nothing fear is the only agenda.
Climate change need not always refer to the environment. There is no greater slight in the modern world than to call someone
The global conscience has experienced its own seismic shift. ‘boring’. Even a ‘bore’ has a function, but a ‘boring’ person is a
We survived the climate of wanton avarice of the 1980s, the pariah, a social misfit unworthy of any attention. The motivation
climate of fin de siecle paralysis of the 1990’s, but will we see the to avoid this social cancer has us inventing inane sports, importing
other side of the current climate of fear? silly non-native pursuits, flying off on fruitless misadventures at the
drop of a hat. The fear of being idle and of not maximising every
I don’t propose to be a great thinker on this matter. If you’re last moment we have alive, overwhelms everyone occasionally.
seeking some intellectual exposition on this current global lacuna Downtime becomes a frantic hunt to find something ‘worthwhile’
in mental fortitude, check out Adam Curtis’ documentary series to do. Holidays are coveted, stored, then expended on exhaustive
The Power of Nightmares, or Woye Soyinka’s Reith blow-outs, doing nothing is not an option.
Lecture on the ‘Climate of fear’. My concerns are
more immediate, short-sighted, backward The fear of leaving nothing behind also
even. consumes us. We now desire a legacy. It’s
not enough to have simple concerns
like raising a family and dedicating
My sister lives in San Francisco, and is yourself to a job and doing it well; we
about to give birth to her first child. want to be remembered. If there is
Don’t worry, this is not about to no afterlife – church attendance
turn into a mawkish rant about numbers would attest to us
‘saving the babies’. But I can’t being indifferent at best on
help but imagine what it’s going the issue – then we must find
to be like to grow up in a world another way to immortality.
where something as prosaic as Some pursue it through
a deck of playing cards has their art, others through the
been morphed into a makeshift accumulation of money, still
Most Wanted list. Or how the more look for fame as a way
happy colour Orange is now of surviving this mortal coil.
a signifier for a ‘High Risk of
Terrorist Attacks’. No one wants to finish last in the
human race. We find ourselves
We live in a mainly secular checking the stopwatch at various
society, so we don’t have the (be intervals of our lives, comparing
it misplaced) backbone that a faith achievements with others; the fear
provides. If fact we have become of our competitors. Okay I’m 20, what
fearful and distrusting of people who do have I done? Okay 25, who am I ahead
have a belief system. Almost as if it’s a sign of of, who am I playing catch up to? 35, shit I’m
some mental weakness; a misjudged affinity with getting lapped, by some snotnosed status seeker.
someone/thing that will never be of any material value. By the end it’s all irrelevant. You hear old folks or
Spirituality is a dirty word. terminally ill people saying they don’t fear death. They’re reached
But the material world has its own belief system, its own dogma, this unique serenity, a really cosy sounding mental state where
its own set of omnipresent tenets. We read the Gospel according they just don’t give a shit. They’ve spent their lives raging against
to Sherry Fitzgerald. The High Street is the new Mecca – we the dying light, only to discover that the light doesn’t go out.
must go there once a week to experience a retail resurrection. It’s a typically human conundrum. It seems the lesson you learn
That hoary old chestnut, ‘celebrity’, may way be dining on its last from a lifetime of being afraid, is that you don’t need to be afraid
supper, but it still has its fanatical devotees. These are the new at all.
false idols we worship, and indeed fear. Societal pressures demand
you are on the property ladder, you are working at something you MARK KEANE
‘love’, that you travel here, shop there, drive this, eat little, look like
a shaved skeleton. But with a nice tan.
Our motivation is fear, but not the fear of the unknown – the fear
of the known. The fear of knowing what we will be doing, who
we will be doing and when we will be doing it; the fear of settling
into a routine. We are a generation who is bombarded with
options. We are constantly told the ‘world is your oyster’, a loaded
compliment if ever there was one. A threat more than anything. A
boulder that is getting rolled up a hill only to repeatedly slip back
onto our toes.

It’s imperative to be seen to be seeking out new goals, targets,

achievements. A period of stasis in one’s life is frowned upon. If
one is seen to not have reached his/her potential, it is a cataclysmic
disaster. We have to be seen to be succeeding, to be over-achieving.
The fear lies in actively courting stability and security. The fear is
that you will be boring.

7
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01
DOGGING
T
o the less educated in voyeuristic activity, dogging is a
british euphemism for engaging in sexual acts in a semi-
public place (usually a car park) or watching others doing
so. Observation is encouraged and frequently there are more
than two participants. Sometimes the encounters are random
but increasingly arrangements are made beforehand, over the
internet.
In 2003 the “new” craze was made public by the BBC and the public
learned about the strange orgys going on in their local areas. The
mass media attention attracted was so great that it became difficult
for couples to unknowingly park in recognised dogging sites
without almost immediatley being surrounded by a cicle of rather
pushy and sometimes rather imtimdating
single males. This led to harassment of
members of the public, police involvement
and a tendency for some couples to move
their activities underground. For a while
the bizarre British phonomenom seemed
to have sleazed its way out of the sight of
the public eye, arrests had been made and it
was becoming more and more dangerous to
indulge. Some presumed it was just another
strange fad. A small unsuspecting island just
off the coast of the U.K had no idea what
was about to happen next.
One of Irelands best kept secrets is its
reputation (to the people in the know) as
Europe’s hot spot for dogging activity.
Our slack law enforcement and a large
proportion of rural communitys combine to
make a “package holiday” type destination
for doggers. People come from all over the STEVE JOHNSON ©
world to enjoy the beautiful landscapes,
unique culture and excellent dogging potential. The Irish
authorities have been aware of such things for a number of years
and have tried to keep it under raps fearing more terrible scandal
after several priests, a judge and some senior Gardai were found
to be at the centre of a dogging organisation stretching as far as
Bangkok.
Names and identitys were kept secrett. Nothing has ever been
officially investigated, everything has been denied. We managed
to make contact with one of Irelands most notorius doggers “Big
Larry” on the net, he was very keen to spill the beans. Although
reluctant to meet us, he agreed to contact us from a public phone
box, he had a thick Dublin accent and was quite a character.
Joe Foley Garreth Joyce Tom Dunne Dermot Motherway
Kerry
Shannon Cork Limerick
Marcus Murphy Mia o’ Shea
Podge Cork Galway
Limerick
Lellee
Italy
DRAW EIRE We set 16 people up against each other and asked them to draw the homeland in
no more than 15 seconds. With the lust for 2 free tickets to the Connemara Roots
COMPETITION Festival (see page 15), this is what they came up with.
8
“Ahh christ, I just fucking love it. Nothing else in my life comes
close, better than any drug or anything. Ahh haccghhh huughh
hccuugg… ” At this point Big Larry went into a coughing fit from
which recovery seemed doubtfull, 8 or 9 minutes later the sound of
a heavy flem ball slapping the the ground at full force came over
the line. He was ready to continue.
“All types I tells ya, all types. The things I’ve seen I could write a
book I tells ya, a book. It’s not just auld ones either, oh no. There’s
young ones an all, all sorts. Im up and down the country all the
time, can’t get enough of it. You can get a bit nervous at first but
it’s rarely dangerous. There is supposed to be a certain etiquette,
you know, rules and stuff. You don’t bang on windows or be
rowdy like. The couple should put on the
light in the car if they want to be watched
or if it’s OK for people to approach. Initially,
a couple should put on the reverse or rear
brake lights to say they are there for fun.
And people can flash their lights to indicate
they are there for fun as well and not just
sitting in the car admiring the stars. That’s
what some people say but I say feck it, get
the lad out and ask questions later”.
When asked about locations Big Larry
took an abruptly violent tone, claiming we
must have been out of our fucking minds if
we thought he would divulge his “top class
fanny spots”. He then went on a tangent
rant about country girls in such a filthy
manner that we chose not to print it. But
after a lengthy internet research session we
managed to come up with Ireland’s top 10
dogging spots.
TOP 10 IRISH DOGGING SPOTS
1. Mallow, Co.Cork. Car park behind the bus stop.
2. Ballinagh, Co.Cavan. Location may vary.
3. Knocktopher, Co.Kilkenny. Outside the post office.
4. Rathlee, Co.Mayo. Jimmy’s Bar.
5. Douglas, Cork city. Tesco’s car park.
6. Mountshannon, Co.Clare. Pitch n putt car park.
7. Renmore, Galway city. Dawn dairies.
8. Gort, Co.Galway. Aldi’s car park.
9. Shannon, Co.Clare. Bald hill.
10. Baltimore Car Park Skibereen Co. Cork.
Gilard Tess
Iraq Daniel McNally Paddy Burke
Sweden
Waterford Shannon
Ger o’ Brien Lisa Keirans Siobhan Mooney Emma Mcarthy
Cork Shannon Kerry
Kerry
WEINER
Dermot Motherway
Limerick
 01.08.07 www.myspace/postwhip.com

26.07.07
WHAT?: Someone train the people in charge please....
Current mood: pissed off

S o a normal Thursday night, went to the monthly Drum n

Bass in the Savoy Cork. Things are looking up and vibrating
along the merry way. I’m getting a drink when out of the
blue comes a lad holding a deep gash in his arm and screaming
I should have bottled him,
maybe I would have been
that he needs an ambulance. Then three guys are escorted, hands
behind their backs from the dance floor outside. Five minutes later
a guy covered in his own blood is brought downstairs. They seemed
let go without charge then!?
to have missed the critically injured bleeding guy in the midst of
the ruckus!
Things get worse. A few minutes later I’m outside and people don’t
seem to know what to do. There is about five security members
holding the really injured guy down, tripping him up intentionally
and worsening his pumping cuts each time they knock him to the
floor. The guilty party is standing there while everyone is trying
to tell the security that they need to grab him as he is the one who
bottled the other two. No one goes near him and he walks off.
At this stage I see that the really injured guy has two bad wounds,
one under his eye and the other deep in the back of his head. I
don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood. So I decide to call 999,
the emergency line ya!? It takes a good 5 minutes to explain to
the person on the other end that yes this is an emergency.....I was
talking pretty clearly too.....
’’We need one ambulance, two garda cars, very fast, someone is
loosing a lot of blood, Savoy Cork, Patrick street’’......
I hear nothing, long pause....
’’So what is the nature of your complaint exactly?’’
I explained two more times and they then realised that it probably
was an emeregency seeing as I had called 999. This then had left a
considerable amount of time for someone to have lost even more
blood.
The garda finally arrived, shouted for the friend of the injured guy
to fuck off, he was only applying pressure to the guys face and
translating for him as his first language wasn’t English. The guy
was almost unconcious on the ground, blue faced as I couldn’t see
through the cover of red, when the paramedics arrived. Everyone
was panicking, the culprit gone, no translator now. Chaos.
I mean please I’ve gone through intense training for silly things
like manual handling and making a good coffee. Do the authorities
STEVE JOHNSON ©

not undergo intense training in psychology and crowd control

training. There are obviously going to be people who are freaked
at any situation like this and the people who have been elected by
the company or government to be in charge of the whole thing
need to be competent. Like learning how to deal with someone
with bad injuries, like not tripping them up onto their face.
Could I just walk in and get a security job, keeping in mind I’m a
smallish girl who doesn’t exactly look threatening!? This is the last
straw in my array of incidents witnessed by the ‘‘People in Charge’’
in this country. I will say now for sure that if I ever have a problem
I’m taking martial law into my own hands as not once have I to
resorted the Garda and been satisfied with the outcome.
To top it all off I have read that they caught the guy who bottled
the two lads in a main club in Cork city and they are letting him go
without charge while the two are in critical condition (as I heard
last) in hospital. Justice.....what justice? I’m being brought to court
this year for asking for a warrant when a garda barged into a
friends house without a word, I should have bottled him, maybe I
would have been let go without charge then!?.
City Mouse

9
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01
PRICE WAR ON TERROR
ROY WAVERS
Many of the UK’s brave retail outlets have come together to form a coalition
of the willing, each of whom have declared an all out price war on terror.
A t a press conference held today a
spokesman for Tescos UK, one
of the stores involved, said “long
enough have our people been under
the tyranny of the outrageous prices of
international terrorism. Today marks a
defining moment for freedom and more
importantly for savings.” While at first the
links between retail rates and the terrible
events of September eleventh seem tenuous,
investigations carried out by this newspaper
in conjunction with the more patriotic of
our supermarkets reveal startling links.
Sheik Rat El Enroll denied his asscociation
with any terror funding.
SHNAILY
Have you ever considered where the
profits from the thousands of corner shops
and convenience stores dotted around the
U.K are channelled? You’d think that the
exorbitant mark ups would be more than
enough to provide our neighbourhood
shopkeepers with all the trappings of
wealth. However as you’ll have seen for
yourself this is not the case, instead every
spare cent is used to support extremist
cells in the Ireland or channelled through
Solomon Island based bank accounts to
fund the insurgents of Afghanistan and
Iraq. As part of our enquiry we sent agents
into the murky underground world of
the cornershop network, their experience
confirms our worst suspicions as one of
them confirms:
LAURA FAHY ©
10
SNUFF
“The interview and training process were
gruelling, weeks were spent attempting
to weed out the weak and unholy at
secret training camps. We were trained to
maintain, load and fire pricing guns, and
taught the aims of the operation: To provide
the infidels with corrupt western goods like
cigarettes, junk food, and pornography at
inflated prices and direct the takings to Al
Qaeda.
Gruelling, weeks
were spent
attempting to weed
out the weak.
“It was due to this startling new
information that we felt we had to act”
revealed Tesco’sVice-chairman Reg
Tucker speaking at today’s announcement.
“By forming this coalition of the willing,
the willing to slash prices, we are going
to cut the funds available to the radicals
who wage war on all free shoppers. By
making prices so incredibly low that no
patriotic consumer would dream of selling
out his country by purchasing goods from
the axis of evil commerce.” When asked
for comment the head of the small traders
association, Sheik rat el anroll, replied that
the claims were ridiculous and nothing more
than just the latest in a series of attempts by
greedy corporations to put the small shop
owner out of business. Well he would say
that wouldn’t he.
We at ‘The Whipping Post’ fully support
the valiant actions of the U.K’s national
supermarkets and are proposing a national
boycott on the insidious convenience stores
of Ireland. So the next time you are about
to hand over E4 for a packet of gum, or
shell out E7 for a crusty meat pie, think of
the hundreds of lives your careless actions
will destroy. Instead bring your hard
earned cash to a patriotic store and save
for freedom.
BOUNCER ENJOYING
INFLATED SENSE OF SELF
A member of security in a busy
establishment in the heart of Limerick
City is said to be more than happy with his
current status of doorman, and all the perks
that go with it. Our man from Garryowen
caught up with him recently to see what
he had to say “Bouncing was not exactly
a career choice for me it was something
that just kinda happened. No one has ever
called me clever and I hated school, but
enjoyed sports. I had a bash at rugby, both
codes, but something always held me back.
In union I could never remember the calls
and in league I could never keep count of
the tackles. That fifth one is a killer. I’d
been doing a few odd jobs when a mate of
mine suggested bouncing.” As a seasoned
veteran of the nite club scene, Bob is ecstatic
Why don’t you
try stickin your
head up your ass
& see if it fits.
about the new licensing laws. “Years ago
a punter would have to be well oiled and
aggro before you could even think about
chuckin him out, now the slightest stumble
is enough to chuck someone out, and
there’s nothing better than a good chuck-
out. It does wonders for the self-esteem.”
He went on to say that the hidden bonuses
are what keeps him going. Such as half-
price drinks, the odd inebriated horny
Leaving Certer and being able to claim
that trainers are not appropriate footwear.
As we left him, our burly guardian of the
door was getting shirty with a potential
customer on the grounds that any I.D.
except a driver’s licence or passport was
not acceptable. We would like to wish our
esteemed comrade continued success and
happiness in his chosen profession.
 01.08.07 www.myspace/postwhip.com

INTINN SOUND

CONNEMARA ROOTS
INTINN BAND MEMBERS Introducing Connemara Roots Festival
CIAN FINN - Vocals & Guitar | DANIEL MAC EOIN - Bass | IARLA FOX - Drums 2007. The festival will be taking place on
ZANA GOODALL - Keys & Flute the beautiful island of Inishbofin, 7 miles off
the coast of Galway on September 29th.It
Intinn are a four piece irish reggae band who play a blend of conscious reggae, raggamuffin, will be the first time Inishbofin Island will
heavy dub, dancehall and raggajungle. Over the past three years they have hosted regular play host to a festival of this magnitude.
nights in Cork and Galway and have toured Ireland extensivley, playing at many venues The festival will be fuelled by the music
and festivals such as Life 2007 and Mantua 2006/2007 alongside acts such as zion train and of two mighty culture’s , showcasing
natty wailer. Intinn have also toured france and have recently returned from playing the Traditional Irish Music and Roots Reggae.
sunsplash festival in italy. Intinn are planing a tour of New Zealand this winter but will be The idea behind this festival is to bring
playing across Ireland for the rest of the summer and throughout autumn. people together from all walks of life
WWWW.INTINNSOUND.NET through the celebration of music, age old
and contemporary, in the beautiful land of
INTERVIEW 14.08.07
Inishbofin.
POST: Alright Lads
Respect, Appreciation, Culture, Love.
INTINN: Irie Brother POST: Where have you performed?
POST: So how long you been going? INTINN: West Cork and City, France,Galway TRAD TENT
INTINN: Long time, we got the sound together town, Sunsplash fest Italy , Dublin city,
Dolares Keane
down south 4 years back. Derry, Limerick ,Barcelona, Millstreet,
Alec Finn
Inisbofin island and beyond.
POST: Intinn is an Irish word right. Where’d Cathleen Cannon
you get it, whats it mean? POST: Who writes your songs? What are Geraldine King
INTINN: Intinn translates as the mind and your themes or topics for most of your The Inishboffin Keili Band
spirit, to me it means consiousness and songs? More T.B.A
awareness. The origins of we and word INTINN: All hands cme together for the
sounds, Rossport, Hill of Tara, Irelands REGGAE TENT
began with me asking Iarla how would you
say, ‘free your mind’ as gailege. to which he Heroin problem, Peace and love and Natty Wailer
replied, ‘scoail saor do intinn’ let free your legisation of the good stuff. Intinn
mind, this became the name for the first POST: Ever had any crazy shit happen when Talimah
nights we ran in Cork which later broke playing gigs or on the road? Alligator
down to Intinn. INTINN: Speakers on fire, hair up in flames, Erin Noon
police invasions, fire and safety shut downs, Revelation Soundsystem
POST: Who are your major influences?
managment threats and countless skanks Rootical Soundsystem
INTINN: Heavy Dub Soundsystems like
from vampire venues, and the Irie side, More T.B.A
Galways own Rootical Sound system and
Wwww.connemararoots.com
Cork’s Revelation Sound, a lot of Jamician group of kids 10 strong got up on the stage
Roots of course, Studio 1 Recordings, Denis at the Mantua 06’ and ran riot, heavy gold
Brown, Burning Spear, Barrington Levy, toothed rastas took the mic by force in
Tenor Saw and contempary artists like France, thunder and lighting storm in Italy
Sizzla & Capelton. The ragga jungle style mid gig and countless tales of crazy booze
like Soundmurderer and The Bug would fueled looneys acting up.
be a big influence along with UK sounds POST: How can we gain access to your
such as the Iration Steppas, Vibronics and music? Do you have a website?
Jah Tubbys. INTINN: www.intinnsound.net and the
Beat the credit card companies
POST: Have you had much feedback and myspace is www.myspace.com/intinn,
myspace is class for contacting other bands
at their own game by running up
interest in your music? massive bills on your
INTINN: We have, more so in France and and has music and gig dates easy to access.
we have an EP which can be found at the credit cards and then killing yourself
Italy when we played over there. We have
got a great response from New Zeland gigs and we are in the middle of recording before your statements arrive.
organisations and the group Katchafire the first album at the moment. Benny O Toole
who I met at the Sunsplash Festival this POST: Any last words? Ballina
summer, so things look good for our tour INTINN: Connemara Roots Festival 29th Sept
there this winter. (see right) Peace, Love and Unity.
11
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01

HOT AND NOT FATHER SLADE

WHATS HOT
SECRET CONFESSIONS SHARED

DAVID HASSELLHOFF
After his stint in rehab the musically gifted hoffmeister brings the
lowly casio to a whole new level in his new E.P ‘I’m not too old
for loving’
THE DOLE “Last week I went to the beautiful town of Feakle. I’ve been filling
in for a friend of mine who had to go away for awhile. Under the
The Highest Rate in Europe, 185 bucks a week, and thats without
new clergical rights amendment laws I am allowed to share the sins
rent allowance
of the people, with the people, so help you god.”
BATS
Kick-ass nu-math-rock band, check em out TINY TIM: I was mean to my sister and said a bad
word.
CRYSTAL MAZE
The repeats on Challenge are doubly entertaining, not only do
SLADE: “Two hail marys for you my son”
you get to watch the contestants failing miserably, but you also
get a laugh out of their ludicrous hairstyles and shell suits. The
bald presenter is crucial. ANTO GLYNN:I employ a load of Polish lads to pick
mushrooms. I work the bollocks off them and pay
THE WICKED CHICKEN them fuck all, I know their desperate and cant stop
Check out Thursday nights with Pete The Beat for some broken exploiting them.
funk action in one of Limericks best little bars.
SLADE: “There is nothing wrong with working the
bollocks off them but you should always throw them
a few quid like. Tempting as it is you must be fair to
your fellow Christian. Three Ar fathers.”
.....AND WHATS NOT
JACINTA O’ SULLIVAN: I’ve been pissing in the coffee
machine at work.
SLADE: “Jaysus! there is no excuse for that kind of
carry on. Ten Hail Marys, off with ya.

E. WANGLEWOOD: I stuck a banger up a cats arse and

GREEDY BASTIDS
Ireland is now the second richest in the world, sounds like good
news, but just 1% of the population own 20% of the wealth. I think
it’s time the peasants revolted.
THE MULLET
The mullet used to be hard-ass haircut, as sported by Kurt Russell
and Mel Gibson. Now it’s a style for pretentious wimps.
TEXT WRITING
I h8 txt msgs dat r dun like dis.
THE BROG
Yeah, I know its always got a good crowd and the music is grand
and theres no strict dress code, but every night out there is so
monotonous that I can’t distinguish one from another.
BUTTEVANT, CORK
Perhaps I’m being unfair, I haven’t after all spent more than
twenty minutes in the town, but even at that, I’ve always been
pretty eager to get the fuck out of there.
E. Mcgregor
lit the fucker up.
SLADE: “Shame on you my son, the fires of hell will
teach you regret.”
DEANO Y2K: I’ve been selling underweight ten spots
to school kids.
SLADE: “If you don’t somebody else invariably will.
Still the church doesn’t condone that kind of behavior.
Ten Ar Fathers for you sunshine.”
MR. SMITH: Im a pilot and have a serious addiction to
alcohol. I‘ve been flying planes drunk for years.
SLADE: “I myself enjoy a drink and what is one
supposed to do when one is in the arsehole of
nowhere, pissed at four in the morning. Fuck getting
a taxi, the bastards would bleed you dry. But cars
and planes are different matters altogether. 15 Hail
Marys.”
 IM A 3.5 ON
THE BRISTOL SCALE

I
n this day and age being healthy has never been trendier,
organic this, free range that, exercise regularly and lower
the fat. But are we really in touch with the condition of
our own bodies and their functions? A fully consistent and
BRISTOL
reliable method of monitoring ones health in the comfort
of your own home has for been largely overlooked by our
nation..until now.
This month we at The Post are promoting the use of the Bristol
SCALE
scale in accordance with the National Faecal Association of
Ireland (N.F.A.I), regular checking of faecal matter can aid in the
early detection and prevention of many minor and major body
disorders. In a perfect world the average whipping post reader
should be aiming for a 3.5 on the Bristol scale, This textbook
bowel movement can only be achieved with a nicely balanced diet
and is harder to perfect than one might think. Booze hounds and
fast food heads will be only too familiar with the deprived and
disgusting creations of a 6 or 7 while those suffering from liver
congestion will know the painful shame of a 1 or 2. Help is at
hand. Separate hard
lumps like nuts
Get up off your arse TYPE 1
(hard to pass)
and peer into the
Sausage-shaped
murky depths of but lumpy
colonic semiotics. TYPE 2

Readers interested in maintaining good Bristol are advised to

balance out their diets, record changes in food intake and Bristol
Like a sausage
activity and keep a close eye on any discrepancies. Draw out a but cracks on the
chart which can be filled in on a daily basis, maybe make a copy
of this Bristol scale and hang it in your workplace toilet. This will
surface
not only make an interesting conversation topic but will also be TYPE 3
invaluable to the health of your work colleagues. It goes without
saying that the key to a 3.5 is a diet containing large amounts of
fresh fruit and vegetables balanced with small amounts of meat, Like a sausage or
fish, dairy and wholegrains, something that the average Irish Joe
soap is unfamiliar with.
snake, smooth
The time has come to get up off your arse and peer into the murky
and soft
depths of colonic semiotics, learn to love your bodily functions TYPE 4
and the wisdom they can provide. Hail to the Bristol, your own
medical consultant on hand 24/7, this is not a joke, this is a turning
point in modern living. One must learn to leave behind any social Soft blobs with
stigmas they might have carried, digestive health in 3.5 form
can only be achieved through thoughtful diligence and careful
clear cut edges
planning. Spread the word and scale so all your friends can enjoy (easily passed)
the pleasure and satisfaction of releasing a glorious brown trout, TYPE 5
slap bang in the middle of the Bristol scale. Remember this, It’s
your health, in your bowl. Be wide.
More info on Bristol related matters can be found at Fluffy pieces with
W www.answers.com/topic/bristol-stool-scale
ragged edges, a
TOJUN MAI
mushy stool
TYPE 6
THE WISE CRACK
Don’t Let
Tomorrow Watery, no solids
Get you down pieces, entirely
Today liquid
TYPE 7
The Whipping Post | Email: whipeditor@gmail.com
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01
REVIEWS
MUSIC FILM ART FOOD
CHARLIES BAR
2 Union Quay Cork
The Whipping Post would like to share
with you some fine early bars dotted
through out Munster and this month we
take a look at Charlie’s bar in Cork, I’ve
frequented this place quite a lot in the wee
hours, it is one of half a dozen or so early
morning pubs in Cork that are licensed to
sell drinks from 07:00 in the morning on.
Legendary drinkers in search of some
early booze or workers on night shifts
can get their favourite tipple right here in
the wee hours. A visit to Charlies is some
experience. Watch the conspiratorial silent
understanding of the visitors ‘howya’. See
the place bopping at a time when most a
those 9 - 5 normal folkies are just about
ready for their first cup of coffee, laugh
at them with ignorance. Expect some
riveting & sophisticated conversation and
a great and friendly atmosphere. Charlie’s
is a bar that can most be recommended to
a “normal” drinking crowd during proper
drinking hours as well, just don’t go gettin
too rowdy or shiftin your beour or you’ll be
out on your ear. They also have an Internet
facility available and offer the occasional
trad session in the evenings.. ‘I loves it’
JOHNSON
itarist
Sex pistols gu ted
nce admit
Steve Jones o to a
ejaculating in
d feeding it
bread roll an er Glen
memb
fellow band
Matlock.
14
AMBULANCE
Directed by Larry Cohen, starring
Eric Roberts and James Earl Jones,
1989)
T
he movie opens to an 80’s-style
sax-solo squawking and wailing
over some crowd shots of New
York (back when it was the most bad-
ass city in the world). It then cuts to Fifth
Avenue where our hero, Josh (Eric Roberts,
sporting a bona-fide, original-80’s-and-
not-one-of-these-fake-ass-contemporary-
“reinterpretation”-mullets mullet, and
kitted-out with a silvery, shoulder-padded
electric-leather jacket with the sleaves
rolled-up) is strutting around thinkin he’s
the Hot Shit, dork-face! He then spots a
sassy Manhattanite Working Girl, and trys
to chat her up all smooth like. And he’s
actually doing okay but then she faints, and
a limo pulls up with this shady looking Evil
Doc inside, who produces a walkie-talkie
and mutters into it “she’s down so send in
the Ambulance”.
Almost immediately a 50’s-style
Ghostbuster’s ambulance pulls-up, and
two goons pile the stricken dame into the
back before driving off again, leaving
our randy hero befuddled and frustrated.
I’m not gonna bother relating the rest of
the convoluted, asinine plot, except to say
that Joshua gets his cereal-milk spiked,
winds-up in the crazy Doc’s lab, breaks
out but-not-before-he-uncovers-a-city-
wide-illicit-organ-transplant-scheme,
which he then tries to persuade the Police
Chief (James Earl Jones, who later gets
shot and dies while still chewing on his
Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum) of, which leads
to a few tedious chase scenes after which
the offending Ambulance is tracked-
down to a niteclub (don’t ask…). Oh yeah
and the Doc gets his come-uppance when
the Ambulance explodes with him inside
(I think Josh shoots-out the fuel line or
whatever during the final face-off). As for
the gal, Josh rescues her only to find-out
she’s already got a boyfriend, what a dose.
Nevermind, he still gets to shack-up with
some poodle-permed female police officer
he met along the way. Anyways, this film
is somehow just about watchable due to its
morbidly-fascinating awfulness, but as the
fella said good luck finding it anywhere.
ELK DANGERFIELD
SPRAOI
Waterford 13/14th July
N
ot being originally from these parts,
this was my first time in Waterford,
and of course it would have to be a
fucking washout. So there I was
visiting my mate Steve and he tells me the
whole town’s going on this weekend-long
piss-up called “Sproai”. However the streets
are pretty much deserted on account of the
shitty monsoon-like weather we’ve been
smited with this entire summer. Even the
band-stand erected along the quays was
deserted, with the acts being re-scheduled
to perform at various indoor locations in
the city centre. One of these last-minute
venues was Masons, and we mosey on
down to catch one of the bands there, but
it turns out to be a complete shithole, one
of those establishments that made a half
arsed attempt to be trendy but then gave
up after they decided it would be more
profitable to cater to all those ubiquitous
jock-boozehound cashed-up feens. So we
flake off down to Downses, where there
were no bands but was still a savage pub
all the same, dark and dingey and full of
incoherent regulars, manky discarded
furniture and enigmatic smells. After a
few there we head back to that queasy
dive Masons cos there was meant to be a
decent punk band playing there. However
the doormen had obviously since received
instuctions not to allow anyone who looked
even vaguely subversive through that
establishment’s mock-beechwood portal,
and they dutifully proceeded to accost my
mate Steve:
BOUNCER: (referring to Steve’s hoodie):
You’ll have to take that off y’know.
STEVE: What, you mean right now here in
the rain, or when I’m just inside the door?
BOUNCER: Well it seems you’re clearly
intoxicated, you can’t come in tonite lads.
Well fuck them and their dodgy wannabe-
yuppie-den anyways, and we trudge
through the driving rain up to a daycent
aul’ spot called Geoffs, paying 5 squid for a
hot dog (no relish, no chilli sauce available)
along the way. Again no band to be seen or
heard, but even so twas a grand, Brog-like
space in which to down a few. Come 2o’clock
and I’m fairly wrecked so we all crash at
Steve’s aul’ pair’s savage town house, and
that was my experience of “Sproai”. Had
to head back to Cork early the next day for
work and wouldn’t ya know but that cunt
of a sun decides to show its unfamiliar mug
as soon as the bus pulls-out of Waterford,
and sure didn’t they bate us in the hurling
that afternoon so I’d say the town went
on an almighty bender that evening, but
I didn’t know anything about it cos I was
back here working for The Man.
ELK DANGERFIELD

AMON TOBIN
‘Foley Room’ Ninja Tunes.
G enius of noise manipulation and
uncompromising musical auteur,
Amon Tobin has released, “Foley
Room”. On this album Tobin decided it
was time to re-think his compositional
processes. Having made several albums
from reconstructed vinyl sources it was
time to look at what else could be pulled
apart and reconfigured. A foley room is
where the sound effects are recorded for
films. Foley artists use their imagination
and ingenuity to make the right noise for
the situation they are presented with.
With this in mind, Amon and a team of
assistants headed out into the streets with
high sensitivity microphones and recorded
found sounds from tigers roaring to cats
eating rats, from wasps to falling chickpeas,
kitchen utensils to motorbikes to water
dripping from a tap. Added to this were
the sounds of musicians like the Kronos
Quartet, Stefan Schneider and Sarah
Pagé, Tobin travelling from foley rooms in
Montreal to San Francisco to Seattle and
back as he collected them. He then took
this wealth of source material and twisted
it round into the haunting, muscular music
you can hear throughout this remarkable
album.
If a theme runs through “Foley Room” it
is what Amon describes as “the pairing of
sounds that share a sonic quality despite
being otherwise unrelated”. And beyond
this, of course, his belief that source
material is just that – a source, something
to be processed, warped and manipulated
until it runs beyond itself. This isn’t an
avant garde or deliberately obtuse record,
rather a way for Tobin to freshen up his
approach to music whilst tipping his cap
to the musique-concrete and found sound
pioneers of the past.
There seems to be a new aural depth to his
sound, a living looseness despite the almost
forensic way in which the music has been
pieced together. As ever with Tobin, there
are moments of spectral oddness as well
as those of sheer exhilaration. Most of all,
though, there is a consistency of vision
as you are dragged backward through
moods and sensations which encourages
you to see the record not as a collection of
“tracks” but as a whole piece. Unique and
compelling, “Foley Room” is set to stand
out. Tobins full name is Amon Adonai
Santos de Araujo Tobin and that Tobin
comes from his Irish stepfather.
NICKY MARKS
10 DAYS OFF
Gent, Belgium 13/14th July
10
days off is an electronic music
festival that lasts for 10 fuckin
days, its on in Gent, a city 40 mins
outside Brussels by train and its somewhere
i hope never to return. I arrived on day 7
of this Techno festival not knowing what
would happen as i had never been to one
of these gigs before and not a huge fan
of tecno but having some clue as i’m no
stranger to early morning sunrise’s in west
cork. The venue was well wicked, a big
old building with three level’s up middle
and basment, basment being where all the
magic happens and the best d’js. The next
two days cosisted of shit loads of...???????????
???????????///f?F?F???????????f/fgf?????????.
I came out the door on Sunday morning
at 8 o’clock, strolled over to a railing which
over looked this lovely canal and thought
to myself I’m still alive thanks be to God,
so i sat down and lit up a smoke and thats
when i decided i never want to hear a
fuckin techno beat ever again in my life,
but man it was well worth it right up until
that point.
If your into techno you’ll appreciate this
festival, it takes a special kind off love to
a appreciate gigs such as this, I thought I
had the appreciation for most of those two
days but when i left that gig to go for a
walk and get some water I met these
two belgium fellas who started asking
me questions about the gig like, who was
your favorite DJ? and did you see this DJ
last night? and telling me stuff like they
thought it was too progressive and there
wasn’t enough of this and should of been
more of that, I laughed my ass off cause all
I can remember from any set is BANGin
loud beat’s with a couple of bloops thrown
in for good measure techno techno techno.
Good laugh tho.
I’d recomend this to any one but only once
Dancin DRYZI
THE THRILLS
Everything they’ve ever done.
Fuckin Shite.
ANDY G
01.08.07 www.myspace/postwhip.com
BELLERUCHE
Turntable Soul Music
“Handmade hip hop blues soul, like Sarah
Vaughan, Charlie Christian and Cut
Chemist stuck in a dusty second hand record
store with wine and a sampler, Belleruche
make turntable soul music”.
Belleruche are DJ Modest (DJ/Producer),
Ricky Fabulous (guitarist) and Kathrin
deBoer (vocalist), and their first album,
‘Turntable Soul Music’, is pretty easy on
the ear. They signed to the funk/soul/
jazz label ‘Tru Thoughts’ this year and
their debut is a mix of smoky jazz vocals,
Portishead/Lamb style hip-hop beats and
soulful bluesy melodies. According to their
myspace page, the three met in a London
street market whilst running from the
law, banks and parents. Whilst holed up
in Modest’s flat, he and Fabulous noticed
Kathrin singing whilst making tea. They
formed a plan and the band was born out
of a shared love of old vinyl, true funk and
real soul music”.
Whatever happened they came together
and made a nice albeit short record(the
Vinyl has 9 tracks, and the CD has 11). Don’t
let the word ‘Turntable’ confuse you, this
album is not made up of turntable trickery
and experimental scratch solos. The album
is made up of very simple elements; and at
no time do the songs seem cluttered. The
scratching and guitar are understated
throughout the album this helps to keep
the sound smooth. All the tracks have a
very vintage feel; this is largely down to
Kathrin’s soft vocals. She has a voice not
that dissimilar to Sarah Vaughan or Roisin
Murphy. Her lyrics are clear and coherent
and it works well with the music layed
down by Modest and fabulous.
I liked most of the songs on the album but
for me the standout tracks are the more
up tempo ones, ‘Northern Girls’, ‘Minor
Swing’, ‘Bird Mess’ and ‘The Itch’ are all
very good. I’ve been listening to this album
for the last month and it hasn’t faded for
me. In fine style ‘Tru Thoughts’ have added
another great album to their catalog. Along
with ‘Floating Heavy’ by ‘Me&You’ and
‘Rawville’ by ‘The Bamboos’ this has been
a really strong summer for the UK Label..
P.T.B.
15
whipeditor@gmail.com Issue 01

ACROSS SEPTIC CROSSWORD

1. 12 inches Hi Its Gemma, ach nooo......
6. Love Pump I’m up the duff not again gemma!
9. Dong
10. Member
11. Sausage
12. Shaft
13. Meat Knife
15. Wang
18. Johnson
21. Lad
24. Rooter
25. Pecker Gemma’s,
28. Sodomiser up the duff
29. Knob
30. Bone
31. Jackson 6.5. Fish Abyss
7. Funbox
DOWN 8. Front Bum
1. Groan Hole 9. Gee
2. Hairy Clam 10. Loose Kebab
3. Axe Wound 13. Vadge
What!
4. Gash 16. Beaver
Again?
5. Snatch 18. Beef Curtains
6. Oinker 19. Pork Envelope

CLASSIFIEDS
Let it out
Shitty, over rated, over priced
accommodation available In all
major cities across Ireland. De-
posits unlikely to be returned.
Contact: Castle Estates
Free Money
People needed for large pyramid Contact: The closest drinking apply to:
scheme. Large entry fee. Excel- hole
lent profit potential guaranteed
but unrealistic.
Contact: Ben 0872141907
Drinking folk Secret Agents Party
Obnoxious drunk twats needed
Positions available for open- Loose females required for my
to purchase large minded general operatives. A mates 21st in October. Reasona-
amounts of over priced alcohol
new under ground base at an ble attractiveness
in bars and nightclubs across the
undisclosed location is seeking an advantage but not completely
country. Shirts, shoes and a pig
workers. Mono-rail experience is necessary. A certain amount of
ignorant attitude is expected as
an advantage but not necessary. free booze will be supplied.
well as a shite taste in music.
Brightly coloured uniforms will Contact: Micky 0879339610
be provided. Applicants should
SUBMIT
Contact: hankscorpio@megolo- Your adds printed here, with a
Distributors maniacs.com circulation of 5000 issues, we
Positions available for distribu- make sure you’ll be seen.
tors. whipeditor@gmail.com whipeditor@gmail.com

THE HORROR SCOPE

Your death will come this
week as the evil spirits
who inhabit the burial
ground under your home
seek revenge on the li-
ving. On the plus side
you’ll live slightly longer
than the rest of your fa-
mily, who you slaughter
before turning the gun on
yourself.
You will die this week That obesity problem will You will be beaten to Smoking has been pro- Mars and venus are di-
when somebody finally finally catch up with you death by an angry mob, ved to kill. So have de- vergent which means you
appreciates you for your and so will the pack of who, drunk on bloodlust, ranged madmen with virgos will have a pros-
brains; the zombies who wolves who mistake you for the disfi- chainsaws. Rest assured perous month. Unfortuna-
eat them. The rest of the you are too fat to run gured freak who lives in you can smoke in relative tely you’ll have no time
week will be spent stag- away from. Your plentiful the woods. your memory safety this week. Unfor- to spend your new cash,
gering about the town supply of meat will help will be used to frighten tunately the same cannot as the medical tests that
with your new undead to prepare the wolves little children for centu- be said about your night pay you will have some
friends looking for a for for the coming winter ries to come. time jog in the park. lethal side-effects.
feast of human flesh. months.

You will put pay to the
notion that time heals all
things when you die from
the horrible wounds inflic-
ted upon you by the un-
fortunate miscalculation
made by that numbskull
at the bungee jump.
That trip to the Egyptian This week the moon is in You will become famous You will find new solace Make the most of these
exhibition at the museum alignment with saturn. today and achieve imor- in religion this week as next few days, contact
sounds good now, but fortue will smile on you in tality in the guiness book you join a new commu- your friends and family,
you’ll have plenty of time your workplace and you of records. Alas it will nity of worshipers who tell your boss to get fuc-
to think over your decsi- will be noticed by your be as the 395th and fi- invite you to join them ked, spend all your cash
sion as the high priestess superiors. Romance is in nal victim of the Sydney find a better place. This and if needs be come out
of the Pharaoh eats your the air as a charming, strangler the worlds dea- solace will be short lived of the closet, because on
soul for the next thousand exotic stranger enters dliest ever serial killer. and replaced with excru- Sunday at 7.30pm you
millenia. your life. tiating pain during your will spontaneously com-
mass suicide bust

16
 MISSING BOAT
Last seen in St. Johns College Cork
suspected to be in Kinsale attached
to a 26ft Dark blue boat with a golden
stripe around hull. If you have any
Information please call: 085 8163091

Mickey Augustinian
Martins Lane

SEPTEMBER: DJ SOUNDS IN THE BAR

Sat. 1. Funkshun! Classic and rare
funk party grooves.
Sun. 2. Jeff. Cool indie sounds.
Thur. 6. Whipping post magazine
launch, with Various djs.
Fri. 7. Cheebah. Beats of every type
from rock to reggae!
Sat. 8. Cheebah. Disco in all forms!
Sun. 9. Rainiers. Mellow soul and
jazz.

Thur. 13. BRIGAdier J.C. seriously
funky world music.
Fri. 14. Keith Disconaught. Special
Cheebah guest night of

Total disco.
Sat. 15. Peter Curtain. Soul party
with serious records.
Sun. 16. Jeff. Cool indie sounds.
Thur. 20. Cian O. Reggae and House
beats.
Fri. 21. Cheebah. Groove based
beats of all sorts.
Sat. 22. Broken funk, with Pete the

Beat.
Sun. 23. DJ Barham. Old school

Hiphop and funk.
Thur. 27. Johnny Doobs.Hip hop and
more.
Fri. 28. Cheebah. Soul to reggae via
Hiphop and disco!
Sat. 30. Funkshun! With special
guest Dj OB, a funk
specialist from Dublin.
Sun. 31. Cubeman and Peter. Polish
reggae dj and an irish
groove dj team up!

17
LIMERICK ADVERTISING
CORK ADVERTISING

PARADISE PLACE CORK CITY