NEED FOR COUNSELLING Prof K.

M Narayan

K.M Narayana

Associate Professor E-mail: kmnarayan57@gmail.com

H.O.D of Commerce

SLN College

NEED FOR COUNSELLING

Introduction
Counselling is a process which takes place in a one-to-one relationship between the
counsellor and the client. To make interpretations of facts relating to a choice, plan or
adjustments which the client’s needs to make. It is a process involving inter-personal
relationship.

Counsellor has a deep sense of respect for the client and his values & does not in any way
take him/her for granted & make him feel inferior or insulted, counselling aims at the client’s
sense of self regard, counselling should be based on “ Principle of Equality”. Counsellor
should not look down upon the client’s values & beliefs.

Counselling is committed to self-actualisation as a basic human value. It accepts the

weakness of man & the reality of individual difference, not as a handicap but as an
opportunity for man to live a more productive & creative life.

Counsellor should not take the responsibility for the client’s choice and behaviour and the
counsellor believes that the client is as intelligent as the counsellor and that given proper
assistance the client will be able to make rational choice and take responsible decisions.

Education has a vital role to play, it has to kindle the urge for preserving one’s dignity, this
cannot exist where there is no freedom, where there is no self-regard & where there is no
rationality.

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NEED FOR COUNSELLING Prof K.M Narayan

Need For Counselling

It is true that the concept of counselling is comparatively a new one in India. One generation
ago the word counselling was unheard of. It is also true that the lifestyle have changed
considerably in the past few decades & there is much more pressure to perform, competition
is intensifying in all walks of life. And therefore there is a higher level of stress & strain.

It is said that round the globe, more people go to bed hungry for ‘kind word’ than the number
of people who end the day hungry for food, irrespective of whether we are rich or poor,
young or old, highly competent or mediocre, we all need someone who is willing to ‘listen’.
There is definitely a vacuum in the area of emotional support that needs to be fulfilled in by
all of us.

Each one of us at sometime or the other is confronted with problems of various dimensions,
they grow and recede and so does our coping ability. Some of us may be able to cope with
certain problems, while others may find themselves that their problem is too much to handle.

Contributory factors for the state of affairs:

Today each one of us in stress. Our society is not an exception, technological advancement,
higher literacy rate, ambition to achieve more and more, materialistic outlook by the society
which equates success to wealth and status. Higher expectations from others coupled with a
breakdown in the traditional family system. In these changing times every member comes
home feeling pent up, hence wanting to pour out but no one has the time or patience to listen.

College students, the cream of the society and these adolescent populations are under
tremendous pressure as they are expected not only to succeed but also to become toppers in
their class and course.

Adolescence:

Adolescent has to accept and perform different roles in a rather hostile and uncomfortable as
well as demanding social situations one has acquire a wide range of social skills for
successful management. Of these tasks of understanding and following social norms, the
individual now has to learn as to how to satisfy the basic and other needs, live a happy life
and make progress within the framework and regulations set by society. He cannot live in
isolation, and he has to join the mainstream.

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Adolescents should be allowed to grow according to their own interest. Adolescents want
freedom & activities they want to enter into spontaneous relationships with other persons.
They want to be powerful & ambitious. They show a need for affection & attention, rejected
adolescents are likely to encounter difficulties in many ways. A good home may do good to
him & a bad home may affect his social & mental adjustment. And therefore healthy attitudes
in adolescence are necessary to stand up better to face the problem of the world.

One of the important factors that affect the growth of adolescents physically &
psychologically are parents. Parents are very important factor in growth of adolescents. They
inherit many qualities of their parents. Parents who inculcate emotional feeling of goodness in
their children, such children learn to be free, frank, and honest & also learn to be spontaneous
in their behaviour. But, if the parents are cold & aggressive the development of adolescents is
very much affected & such adolescents who are affected by their parent’s behaviour may
withdraw or develop aggressive qualities & also develop emotional tension.

The philosophy of life of parents, teachers & friends may affect the way of life of
adolescents. The period of adolescence is a period of questioning, a period of rationality & it
is a period of self examination. Adolescents tend to be deeply rational & logical & they want
to be scientific in their analysis of problems of the world & may not readily agree with the
social practice of & crude superstition.

Counselling in colleges:

Students have become high-risk group and developed mental health problems because of
severe competition, high expectation about their performance in examination, unrealistic
desires to get into courses to which they do not have capacity. Many students exhibit
emotional and behaviour problems thus posing a problem to their parents and teachers.

Psychiatrists compared to other medical specialists are very few in our country, the entire
country has around three thousand qualified Psychiatrists, most of them are concentrated in
urban centres. They find it extremely difficult to do counselling for “minor upsets” because
their time is valuable and they would rather concentrate on mental illness and in prescribing
medication, further, a visit to a Psychiatrist still carries a stigma in our society. Any person
consulting a Psychiatrist is labelled as “mad or insane” is often looked upon with fear and
suspicion.

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Only a few colleges provide counselling service through trained counsellors. Therefore
teachers have to offer help and counselling service, the trained teachers are helping the
students and refer some students with severe problems to Mental health practitioners.

Academic problems of college students:

Many times in spite of capacity & skills students are seen having a wide variety of problem,
related to their learning & secure good marks in their examination, which is the yardstick of
parents & society to appreciate or depreciate the students without taking into account of the
students other achievements.

Management of academic problems:

Effective study habits like a proper timetable for studying each day in the same place in the
same time where there is no distraction like T.V, music & other disturbances, enables the
student to concentrate & understand or learn quickly. Further the use of dictionary increases
not only vocabulary, but also the increases understanding capabilities & further improves
strong & effective communication skills.

How to deal with examinations:

Success in examination demands thoroughly planned preparation, understand & react in a

calm & rational way of answering the question, which can be developed by tackling previous
years’ question papers & being confident on the day of examination but not be over
confident.

Role of colleges in promoting mental hygiene:

Every teacher has a responsibility for shaping & influencing the students’ attitude towards a
wholesome personality and the development of every student should be the fundamental
objective.

Much can be done to promote students’ welfare. The students are to be made to feel the
college atmosphere like a home atmosphere, wherein students ought to be made to feel safe &
secure at the college as they are in the home. In a way the college is to be considered an
enlargement of home atmosphere, wherein students training ground for community living to
achieve the utmost from his activities. Students must be given a sense of belonging to the

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college community & he must be made to feel a part of it just as he is made to feel his
identification with the family groups.

Motivation:

Good motivation to learn is the key factor for any individual to apply oneself to work hard
and to learn any subject. Many students may not have good motivation, either internal or
external motivation, parents, teachers, classmates, rewards and good jobs act like external
motivational factors. Acquiring knowledge need to excel oneself in competition, awareness of
value of education in the personality development and in the management of life events are
the internal motivating factors.

Every student has to be encouraged to understand the value of the education and enjoy the
process of learning. The adolescents should be made known that “knowledge is power”,
which helps them to solve their problems and attain their goals.

Objectives of Counselling:

a) Increase client’s acceptance of self confidence/ self esteem.

b) Make the client aware his/her feelings, attitudes, interest, potentials & limitations.

c) Help the client overcome depression, loneliness & alienation.

d) Enhance client’s commitments to change faulty attitude & behaviour & prepare to
take full responsibility for self & the actions.

e) Help the client arrive at & choose the desirable & most appropriate alternatives or
action & behaviour.

Counselling is not ………

Giving advice, offering solution, Taking charge of someone’s life or situation, correcting or
reprimanding the wrong deeds, showing pity towards someone in trouble.

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Counselling is not a maths i.e., 1+1=2, since human behaviour is varied & unpredictable
there is no fixed ‘solution’ to any problem. The counsellor must be flexible & think diversely
to give multi choice for the client’s problems. It is like a journey to an unknown destination.

Qualities of a good counsellor:

 To be an effective counsellor the following qualities are needed:

 He should be compassion and affectionateness towards others.

 The person needs to have an urge to help others.

 He should be an active listener.

 He should have confidence but not over confidence.

 He should accept all types of human beings.

A warm, empathetic & genuinely interested person would be better in the field of counselling
to reach out to other human beings in distress & give them emotional support.

These qualities need practice & perseverance & make conscious effort in order to become an
effective counsellor.

The counsellor should have an open mind & be friendly & informal to start building a
trustworthy relationship, but should not be casual. He should have a genuine concern for the
client’s well being & should have willingness to help.

Most popular counsellor is undoubtedly God”. Yes all over the world, at all time of day/night,
billions of people approach him for counselling in the form of prayers for solutions or for
strength to face the situations.

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Qualities of effective & acceptable counsellor:

 He is always available – even at midnight.

 He listens without interrupting & without giving any advice.

 He is non-judgemental

 He gives you importance & never ever compare with other & does not generalise your
problem.

 He has infinite patience.

 He maintains confidentiality at all times & does not disclose the person’s problem to
others.

Stages of counselling:

Counselling process can be classified into three main stages:

1) Beginning phase 2) Middle phase 3) Ending phase

Beginning Phase

In the beginning stage the relationship starts with the meeting of the counsellor & client &
continues till the client develops trust in the counsellor & the client starts really opening up &
discuss his/her problem. This is a very tricky phase & there are many barriers to be overcome
at this phase to ensure the counselling process continues effectively.
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Anybody would feel bad to seek & receive help from an unknown person, since it is a threat
to his/her self esteem & sense of independence. Discussing personal problems with a third
person is difficult. The client may feel that his problems are too unique to be understood by
the counsellor. This requires a lot of motivation & willingness of counsellor to overcome the
barriers, once these barriers are crossed, the relationship starts. The counsellor should have an
open mind & he should be friendly & informal to start the relationship, but he should not be
too casual, he should have genuine concern for his client’s wellbeing.

Middle Phase

In this phase actual problem is discussed, the painful & deeper feelings of the client are
expressed, the counsellor starts asking questions & probing deeper, after the counsellor gets
adequate information from the client by intensive listening encourage the client to talk more.

Reflection is an important step, the counsellor summarizes what he has observed about the
thoughts, feelings & emotions of the client. The client thus gets a clearer view of his own
thoughts & feelings & this will help him deal with them in a better way, client develops
confidence & becomes more friendly. At this stage, the counsellor shall give unconditional
support to the client, the counsellor should give positive strokes to the client, point out his
good qualities & encourage him by giving him moral support & also give examples of others
who had also faced similar situation & managed to overcome them.

Ending Phase

In some case it is just a single session and in some cases sessions continues for many weeks
or months. The sessions end in one of these ways:

When the goals are achieved or the crisis resolved or when the client requires referral or when
the client feels that there is no need for the sessions to continue as he/she is feeling better or
when the counsellor feels that the client is in a position to handle the situation better.

Referral:

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When the counsellor feels inadequate or that he does not have the experience to solve that
problem, when counselling is not getting results & client requires professional help from a
psychiatrist, the lay counsellor refer the client to an expert.

Life skills education:

WHO has recommended the following 10 life skills to be taught to all adolescents:

1) DECISION MAKING:

a) Learning basic steps for decision making

b) Making difficult decisions.

c) Decision-making about important life plans.

2) PROBLEM SOLVING:

a) Basic steps for problem solving

b) Generating solutions to difficult problems or dilemmas

c) Conflict resolutions.

3) CREATIVE THINKING:

a) Developing capacities to think in creative ways.

b) Generating new ideas about things that are taken granted.

c) Adapting to changing circumstances.

4) CRITICAL THINKING:
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a) Learning the basic process in critical thinking.

b) Making objective judgements about choice & risks.

c) Resisting media influence on attitude towards smoking & alcohol.

5) EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:

a) Basic verbal & non verbal communication skills.

b) Assertive communication in the face of peer pressure.

c) Using assertiveness to resist pressure to do health damaging activities.

6) INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS:

a) Learning to value relationship with family & friends.

b) Forming new relationships & surviving loss of friendships.

c) Seeking support & advice from others in a time of need.

7) SELF AWARENESS:

a) Learning about me as a special person.

b) Self control.

c) My rights & responsibilities.

8) EMPATHY:

a) Understanding how people are alike & how we differ & learning to appreciate the
difference between people.

b) Avoiding prejudice & discrimination of people who differ.

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c) Caring of people.

9) COPING WITH EMOTIONS:

a) Recognition of the expression of different emotion.

b) Understanding how emotion affect the way we behave.

c) Coping with emotional distress.

10) COPING WITH STRESS:

a) Identifying sources of stress.

b) Methods for coping in stressful situations.

c) Coping with situations of adversity.

Role of teachers:

1) Make your people to realise that you do not represent an authority, but you are their
friend & as their well wisher ready to guide when required.

2) Teach them good communication skills; give them opportunities to express their
opinion, feelings & frustration.

3) They may regard you as an ideal person & try to live up to their expectations.

4) Allow only healthy competition.

5) In your interaction be impartial, apply disciplinary measures equally without any

discrimination.

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NEED FOR COUNSELLING Prof K.M Narayan

6) Identify the problem student as early as possible & give your time to discuss their
problems that is individually as well as with their parents.

7) Give extra attention to the needs of the student –

a) Who have only one parent living.

b) Who are separated from parents.

c) Who are having physical deficit or illness

d) Who are slow learners.

e) Who have language or communication difficulties.

f) Who have an alcoholic parent.

g) Who hail from lower, underprivileged section of the society.

h) Who live in hostels.

Adolescent & management of stress:

An individual during adolescence has to face many stresses, to prevent a breakdown & to
maintain & promote mental health, one has to learn the successful methods of management of
stress.

Stress is an individual phenomenon. It is an unpleasant experience of the person created by

the environmental circumstances demands are beyond his/her abilities to fulfil which appears
to be a thread to one’s physical or mental wellbeing become a stress.

Every person strives for gratification of his/her needs, but he may or may not succeed in it.

According to man’s needs the most basic bodily requirements to the quest of self
actualisation. To begin with man gets pre occupied with the lowest needs like safety, love.
When they are adequately satisfied, individual has to strive to achieve higher needs like self
esteem & finally self actualisation.

There are three types of stress, namely: 1) Frustration 2) Conflicts 3) Pressures

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Severe or frequent failures & disappointments leads to frustration,

conflicts may be due to :

1) To make a choice between two good things.

2) To do or not to do to choose between different options, pressure can come from within the
individual or from outside to achieve certain goals or to perform better.

Every one of us face one type of stress or the other, big or small & we also know & react
differently to different stress factors, person experiences either fear or anger when not
equipped to handle the stress. When person learns to cope up with stress manages the
situation of normal level.

How to develop these coping skills?

1) Understand the problem & the situation.

2) Know your abilities & face the situation & try to solve the problem.

3) Look around & identify people who can support & help you. Take their help.

4) Tell yourself that you will do your best & will not worry about the result.

5) Set attainable goals & prepare action plans which are realistic.

6) Periodically evaluate how you are handling the situation & feel proud.

7) When things go wrong try to learn new methods & take the help from your dependable
source.

8) Share your sorrow, failures & frustrations with someone you like and dependable.

9) When you are confronted with many problems at a time, prioritise them & try to solve
them one by one.

10) Find time in between in your busy schedules to relax through activities like gardening,
sports, music, travelling & other hobbies.

11) Accept your limitations & pick up things which you can do well.
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12) Do something for others to derive nice feeling of serving the needy. This will boost
your self confidence, having done good to some others.

13) Keep yourself away from alcohol & other stimulating drugs.

14) Be friendly with everybody. Friendship reduces the tension & helps you to have
goodwill of others. Do not accept anything from others & even when they misbehave with
you minimise your reactions to that.

15) Develop interest in social. Cultural & spiritual activities which will keep you away
from disturbing situations & this will help in increasing your mental health.

By improving the coping skills, one can develop positive mental attitudes & this ability
increases the comfort zone to handle the stressful situations in routine activities
successfully. Further he/she can make others comfortable by rational reactions & discharge
their role as a parent, son/daughter, colleague, friend, neighbour & gain better status & lead
a happy life.

CONCLUSION:

Lay counsellor has a very important role in improving the quality of life. All of us have acted
as counsellors at one time or the other & felt good when we have helped the person in
difficulty to overcome or solved his/her problem by being sensitive to others feelings & being
empathise to them & showing a genuine desire to reach out to those who are in distress.

The knowledge of counselling is necessary for parents to understand their children,

employers to get more efficient work or output from their employees, teachers to facilitate
their students, grow into more developed & confident individuals & prepare them to face the
life situations with confidence.

Counselling should be done after acquiring skills, which are simple to practice. Counselling
can be done by professionals in work environment, teachers in their respective institutions &
social workers in their voluntary organisations & wise individuals in their families &
neighbourhood.

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Counsellors are becoming a necessary link between people in distress to cope up the new
challenges of social & cultural shocks the society is undergoing, particularly in the backdrop
of globalisation wherein the individual finds it challenging the different situations in day-to-
day life.

One can achieve perfection in counselling only by practice. Once a person understands the
basic & gets a feel of the art & builds up necessary skills, it is possible for him/her to become
more confident & effective by consistent practice.

Since human behaviour is very unpredictable & individualistic, it is only a great deal of
sensitivity, caring & experience which makes a successful counsellor. A warm, empathetic &
genuinely interested person would be better in the field of counselling than one who does not
have the above skills. Thus there is a strong need & scope for lay counsellors to reach out to
human beings in distress & particularly in educational institutions to help the adolescents to
sharpen their skills, to cope up different situations to prepare successful citizens, to face more
demanding & challenging situations.

Counselling gives a reassurance to the clients that he is not alone with the problem, that there
is someone who cares which in turn leads to the acceptance & there is hope & alternatives &
a ray of light. Counselling is a process of empowerment to the client or person in distress with
empathy to get over the disturbing feelings & think more rationally. Counselling enbles the
client to explore the different alternatives to find solution to the problem & make him/her
more capable of coping & move ahead in life, Counselling is a continuous learning process
which consists of reading, receiving training, a never ending practice,

the time to practice is NOW ……….

Bibliography :

1. Counselling & Guidance – S. Narayan Rao.

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2. Educational Psychology – C.L. Kundu & D.N. Tutoo

3. Adolescent Mind - Dr. C.R Chandrasekhar.

4. You Too Can Reach Out- Dr. Ali Khwaja

5. Manual on Students’ Counselling – By Dept of Collegiate Education Govt of

Karnataka & NIMHANS Bangalore.

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