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a) What was your highest score? Do you agree with the assessment? Name the style and
discuss your perceptions regarding this style with respect to your own thoughts
regarding how you approach conflict situations. Provide an example from your own life
of your experience with this style of conflict (either using the style yourself, or as
employed by someone else in a conflict situation). Be specific.
My highest score was a 31 on compromising. I would say that I agree with this score because I
really try to Compromise a lot when I am having a conflict with my team. For example, Working
at Starbucks certain baristas want to go on bar and make drinks and some want to be on
register all day. For me to have certain Barista do what I want I usually try to compromise the
situation and try to find a middle ground.
b) What was your second-highest score? Was it very close to your highest score, or
significantly lower? Do you agree with the assessment? Discuss your perceptions
regarding this style (and any interactions with your highest score) with respect to how
you approach conflict situations. Provide an example from your own life of your
experience with this style of conflict (either using the style yourself, or as employed by
someone else in a conflict situation). Be specific.
My second highest score was on integrating. which I think goes hand in hand with
compromising. The score was very close to my highest score by 1 point.
I would agree with this assessment. it is kind of crazy how accurate it is.
c) Discuss one thing that works pretty well about your preferred conflict style; in other
words, what is one advantage for you about it?
I think that comprising works really well with my conflict style because The end product it is find
a middle ground so that both parties can be happy.
d) Discuss one disadvantage you’ve found in using your preferred conflict style.
The bummer part about compromising is that there are times when no one wants to
meet in the middle. and when this happens I am left with no solution. Just bitterness.
e) Finally, what is one specific way you could improve your general approach to conflict?
(This answer might include incorporating more of one of your lower scores, etc.)
I could incorporate being more dominating. With that I don't have to compromise just take over.
Prompt 2: INSTRUCTIONS: For each of the following five scenarios (a – e), identify at least
one of Gibb’s categories of defense-arousing communication (McCann textbook, page 257-
260). Then rewrite the original statement in a way that replaces the defense-arousing
statement with more supportive language. Then add two of your own scenarios (f – g)
following a similar format, based on experiences.
Example: Girl to her older brother: “You don’t have a life. All you do is play on the
computer!”
More supportive way of communicating: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been playing
on your computer several hours a day lately. I’m concerned that you might be neglecting
the other aspects of your life. Can we talk about this?”
a) Girl to her ex-boyfriend: “You’re never going to graduate from high school, and you’ll just
end up in a blue-collar job for the rest of your life!”
More supportive way of communicating: “ If you don’t work hard in school now you might
not graduate high school and then you will only have blue collar options for work”.
b) One person to coworker: “You keep whining about missing your girlfriend, and we’re tired of
listening to you. Why don’t you just move to Arizona so you can be with her?”
More supportive way of communicating: “have you thought about moving in with your
girlfriend since you miss her so much?
c) Girl to her brother: “If I thought about business half as much as you do, I’d be 10 times more
successful than you.”
More supportive way of communicating: “ I feel as though you should pay attention to your
work more”.
d) One person to her brother: “All you do is party. You’re wasting the money
Mom and Dad are spending to put you through school.”
More supportive way of communicating: “ I feel as though you are waisting your time
partying and time is money and mom and dad are paying for your school”.
e) A boss to an employee: “You’re always taking time off work to take care of your baby. I’m
going to have to let you go if this continues.”
f) Your Example 1: wife says to husband, “ you never listen to me because you are always on
your stupid phone.”
Prompt 3: INSTRUCTIONS: For each of the following five scenarios (a – e), identify two
different ways you could respond non-defensively to the speaker – then add two of your own
scenarios (f – g) following a similar format, based on experiences. (Adapted from Activity
10.4, page 265 in the second edition of the textbook).
Example: A boss says to an employee: “Don’t ever treat a customer that way again!”
One type of non-defensive response: Ask what the critic wants
How you could say it: “What would you like me to do differently next time?”
Second type of non-defensive response: agree with the truth
How you could say it: “You’re right; I lost my temper. I’m sorry.”
a) A mom says to her daughter: “If you move in with those other girls you’ll just end up
fighting with them because you have a hard personality to live with.”
How you could say it: You are just like me and have a strong personality, and the other
girls will not know how to act around you.
How you could say it: So you are saying that I am crazy so I cant live with other girls?
b) A husband to his wife: “Must be nice to have a day off to just do whatever you want.”
How you could say it: “are you upset because I have a day off?
How you could say it:” being bitter about my day off is not helpful to our relationship.
c) A guy to his girlfriend: “You spend way too much money on clothes.”
How you could say it: How many times have I boughten clothes this month?
How you could say it: So you are saying I am not responsible with my money because I
buy clothes.
How you could say it: You are right I am a list neurotic
How you could say it: Do you think that I am neurotic because you are upset right now?
How you could say it: In what way do you think my life has no direction?
How you could say it: What would you have me do to find direction in my life?
f) Your Example 1: Wife says to husband: you work too much and are never home!
How you could say it: Is it just that I work too much that is the issue or is there
something else bothering you?
g) Your Example 2:Husband says to wife: “ you never get dressed up for dates anymore! is
the romance dead between us?
How you could say it: Do you feel like I don't care about our relationship anymore
because I don't get dress up as much?
How you could say it: What would you like me to wear?
CONFLICT STYLE INVENTORY (For Prompt 1)
PART 1
INSTRUCTIONS: For each of the following statements, choose a number between 1 and 7 that
represents the degree to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
Source: Deborah Cai and Edward L. Fink, “Conflict Style Differences Between Individualists and
Collectivists” Communication Monographs 69, pp. 67–87. Copyright 2002. Reprinted by
permission of Taylor & Francis and the authors.
A. Add up your scores for 1, 9, 10, 13, 20, and 24; then divide the total by 6.
This is your Accommodating Score. 28
B. Add up your scores for 2, 6, 11, 14, 15, 16, and 21; then divide the total by 7.
This is your Compromising Score. 31
C. Add up your scores for 3, 12, 22, 23 and 29; then divide the total by 5.
This is your Integrating Score. 30
D. Add up your scores for 4, 17, 18, 26, 27, and 28; then divide the total by 6.
This is your Avoiding Score. 24
E. Add up your scores for 5, 7, 8, 19, and 25; then divide the total by 5.
This is your Dominating Score. 18