13.11 - Are we mistaking solitary to be lonely?

Some people fear, “If I become too spiritual, I won’t be able to relate with most people
for they are materially-minded. Won’t I end up feeling lonely?”

This fear betrays a common but serious confusion between lonely and solitary. Both
refer to a state of social isolation. But the key difference between them is the direction
of our consciousness, our desires, our heart. When these are externally directed, social
isolation makes us feel lonely, bored, deprived. When these are internally directed,
social isolation engenders solitude, introspection, rejuvenation. Loneliness is like night,
a state of disconcerting darkness. In contrast, solitude is like day, a state of comforting
illumination.

Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita (13.11) mentions solitude as characteristic of those who

cultivate spiritual knowledge. Such knowledge-seekers aspire to live in a solitary place
(vivikta desha-sevitvam) and are detached from the general mass of people (aratir jana-
samsadi). They see social isolation not as a threat but as an opportunity. It provides
them the necessary physical and emotional distance from the world’s obsession with
materialism. Thus distanced, they can better contemplate and comprehend the
unchanging spiritual realities that underlie the ever-changing material appearances.

Significantly, bhakti-yoga offers us an easier way to re-direct ourselves from matter to

spirit: associate with those who are spiritually-minded. In the association of advanced
devotees, spiritual knowledge doesn’t remain a matter for abstract analysis. It becomes
the setting for relishing living, loving experiences.

Nonetheless, even on the devotional path solitude is a potent resource for us. We may
under-utilize devotee-association by seeking it merely for its social pleasantries and
emotional comforts – not for its spiritual potency. Brief, regular periods of solitary
introspection help us evaluate whether we are redirecting our heart from the world to
Krishna.

When we thus tap both association and solitude, loneliness flees far away.