Narrative Essay Honors

Stephen Watters

As a person, we are supposed to ask questions and be able to converse with our peers. Commented [1]: A person = one; we = more than one
As a person, we are supposed to share our thoughts and feelings. As a person, we should be As people...
able to make our ideas present to others. As a person we should enjoy sharing our experience Formatted: Highlight
with one another. However, in my early years, I was not naturally a very talkative and social
person.

In my early years, I became comfortable with learning a certain skill by just listening to
instructions, (4) and simply following them. I was very good at listening to instructions, (4) but
struggled at asking the teacher or coach for help if I didn’t understand a certain skill or subject. I
was very successful in my previous schools, but at the time I did not understand what could
have of been if I had asked more questions. Even socially, I would laugh and enjoy listening to
the stories and thoughts of my friends, (4) but often would not even mention experiences of my
own. It wasn’t until towards the end of my 6th grade year, that I began to speak up. This
happened after

I had realized that my test was graded wrong, and I should have gotten an A instead of a B.
This would require me to have to go up to the teacher, (4) and confront him for his mistake. My
palms began to sweat at the thought of confronting the teacher. I sat in my desk, frozen like a
statue, in the fear. Even the thought of completely ignoring the obvious mistake came to me. But
then, something came to me at that moment. Something that I still remember for further days to
come. What was there really to fear? If I never speak up, or use my voice, nothing would ever
change. But by using my voice, I could completely change situations, and even make things
work for the better. If I wanted to succeed in life, including school, socially, and athletically, I
would have to make the immediate change to not only listen and learn, but to also communicate
back what I understand and what I don’t. The would go socially. If I wanted to expand my
friendships, I would have to learn how to share my thoughts, even if they include corny jokes, or
things you simply enjoy doing. When I showed the teacher the mistake, he realized where he
was wrong, and changed the score from a B to an A. From that day on, I applied the idea of
speaking up in everything, including sharing moments with friends and better understanding
certain topics in school I once struggled on.

I still don’t completely understand why I used to be so quiet. Maybe I wasn’t confident
with myself. Maybe I was so focused on what other people believed, that I became too worried
to speak. The main lesson I learned is that your voice is a very powerful tool, and that asking
questions in general is a good thing. Another lesson from this story is that communication is vital
when trying to build relationships. It is okay to step out of your comfort zone and to just talk to
someone. By developing the skill of communication, the confidence of a person will rise quickly.

Intro: 6 Generic; no attention-grabbig “hook”

Narrative: 6 This would be better if you told the story first-person, beginning with receiving the

incorrectly-scored test. No real use of narrative technique specified on the rubric.

Organization: 8 Work on placing paragraphs

Language: 9 Good use of language/ figurative language

Conclusion: 9 Fitting end to story Formatted: Line spacing: Double