Allegory Essay

by Grace Gardner

Submission date: 09-Nov-2018 07:58AM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 1035934521
File name: AllegoryEssay.docx (19.06K)
Word count: 1070
Character count: 4874
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Allegory Essay
ORIGINALITY REPORT

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SIMILARIT Y INDEX
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INT ERNET SOURCES
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PUBLICAT IONS
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ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

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Allegory Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

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Comment 1
MLA f ormat looks good.

Great title, just make sure to capitalize all the major words in the title.

Comment 2
since it's technically a poem, you'd put quotes around it, but most just italicize it.

Possessive T his word may be a plural noun and may not need an apostrophe.

Wrong Article You may have used the wrong article or pronoun. Proof read the sentence to
make sure that the article or pronoun agrees with the word it describes.

Comment 3
good!

Comment 4
italicize....etc.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

 Wrong Article You may have used the wrong article or pronoun. Proof read the sentence to
make sure that the article or pronoun agrees with the word it describes.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 5
this isn't f un f or you? hmmmmm

Comment 6
what people?

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. Depending upon what you wish to
emphasize in the sentence, you may want to revise it using the active voice.

Comment 7
is...keep it present tense...better yet, don't use a "be" verb.

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").
Additional Comment

or use a comma and a coordinating conjunction. f or, or, nor, yet, but so...etc.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. Depending upon what you wish to
emphasize in the sentence, you may want to revise it using the active voice.

Comment 8
and who is this person? How did his inf luence create this person?

Comment 9
How? can you give a specif ic example?
 Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

Comment 10
pretty vague claims without specif ic evidence, and then tie it back to the thesis....in what way is it
shaping you...or something like that.

PAGE 2

S/V T his subject and verb may not agree. Proof read the sentence to make sure the subject agrees
with the verb.

Comment 11
again, how about some specif ic examples....

Comment 12
good transition sentences.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. Depending upon what you wish to
emphasize in the sentence, you may want to revise it using the active voice.

Comment 13
T his is really cool. But you're almost doing too much in this paragraph. Maybe it's bigger than
just one paragraph. Maybe an essay unto itself comparing to the odyssey, and you could still
include the other things you mention in the beginning. But you are kind of packing this
paragraph f ull.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

Comment 14
Yes, a lot going on here. T wo or three ideas at work here that would make beautif ul examples
to elaborate upon.

PAGE 3

Comment 15
I get what you are doing here...trying to transition...and that's working...and trying to tie it back to
the thesis...that seems a bit f orces...likely because of all that's going on in that paragraph.

Possessive You may need to move the apostrophe to make this word a correctly f ormed
possessive.
 Possessive You may need to use an apostrophe to show possession.

Comment 16
revise the comma usage here.

Comment 17
I like it.....

Comment 18
meh...don't like this phrase so much...maybe something more like...we all are...or...IDK. Consider
revising.

Again your essays are a pleasure to read. In f act I usually save them f or last! And this is a
good one as well. I think it's not your best, so maybe a good one to consider revising f or the
portf olio at the end. T he writing, on the sentence level is as good as always; you have a real
talent f or it...you have a genuine style and voice that most at your age a level struggle to
present. In this essay, you could improve with some more thought about organization of
ideas...f ollow the writing process. It works, brainstorm, organize, outline, write. T his will give
some unif ormity to your essay, keep it tied to a main idea. Your thinking is deep, and your
writing is sophisticated...so now let's throw in some organization and you'll be really moving.

Sometimes, a strategy I would employ was to write my essay then give it a day and go back and
review it, trying to determine what I was actually saying...then I would kind of boil that down to a
main idea and rewrite my introduction and thesis. Maybe that could help you as well.

Keep pushing yourself ...good job

23.5/25

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RUBRIC: 9 TH-12TH GRADE ANALYSIS

CLAIM/FOCUS Prof icient

Claim and Focus: Make a clear claim about the text(s) early in the essay and f ocus on proving it.

ADVANCED T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s) based on the strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay
maintains f ocus on analyzing the text(s), using the whole essay to develop the claim
and thoroughly address the demands of the prompt.

PROFICIENT T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s). T he essay maintains a f ocus on the text(s), but may stray at times f rom
developing the claim. If more than one text is being analyzed, the essay demonstrates
a good balance between or among the texts and addresses the demands of the
prompt.

DEVELOPING T he essay makes a claim about the text(s), but may not connect the claim to the
strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay may maintain f ocus on
the text(s), but not the analysis (or vice versa). If more than one text is being
analyzed, the writer may neglect one or more and may not f ully address the demands
of the prompt.

EMERGING T he essay does not have a claim about the text or about the strategies, techniques,
or devices of the text(s), but may instead of f er overly general f acts as a claim. T he
essay does not develop a claim throughout the essay and does not address the
demands of the prompt.

ANALYSIS/EVID Prof icient

Analysis and Evidence: Choose the right evidence and analyze the evidence's purpose and ef f ect.

ADVANCED T he essay cites the most appropriate and valid evidence to support its claim and f ully
explains how the evidence cited leads to the message or purpose of the text(s). T he
essay demonstrates insightf ul reasoning and f ull understanding of the strategies of
the text(s).

PROFICIENT T he essay cites appropriate evidence to support its claim and f ollows up evidence
with explanations of how it works to achieve the author's message. Summary, if
present, is balanced with analysis. T he essay demonstrates some reasoning and a
basic understanding of the text's or texts' strategies.

DEVELOPING T he essay relies too heavily on summary and of f ers only vague analysis to support
its claim and evidence is not f ollowed up with analysis. T he essay demonstrates very
little reasoning, and instead includes assertions about the text's or texts' strategies.

EMERGING T he essay does not use evidence f rom the text(s) f or the purpose of analysis. T he
essay may incorporate summary without analysis, neglecting to f ocus on the
f eatures of the text(s).

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

Organization: Include an engaging introduction and strong conclusion. Use transitions throughout the
essay to make connections clear.

ADVANCED T he essay incorporates ef f ective transitions and an organizational structure that

enhances the analysis. T he essay includes an ef f ective introductory paragraph and a
concluding paragraph.

PROFICIENT T he essay's transitions and structure make it clear and easy to f ollow. T he essay
includes an introductory paragraph or statement, as well as a concluding paragraph
or statement.

DEVELOPING T he essay's transitions and structure may interf ere with a f ull understanding of the
writer's claim. T he essay includes an attempt at an introduction/introductory
statement and/or conclusion/concluding statement.

EMERGING T he lack of transitions and structure make the essay hard to f ollow. T he essay is
missing an introduction or conclusion of any kind.

LANG/ST YLE Advanced

Language and Style: Use specif ic, interesting language and clear sentence structure to communicate ideas.

ADVANCED T he essay has an established, f ormal style and objective tone that is maintained
throughout. T he essay uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and uses
precise language and domain-specif ic vocabulary in a way that addresses the
complexity of the topic. Few errors are present, and they do not interf ere with
meaning.

PROFICIENT T he essay has an established, f ormal style that is maintained throughout. T he essay
uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and generally uses precise language
and domain-specif ic vocabulary in way that generally addresses the complexity of the
topic. T he essay may have some errors, but they do not interf ere with meaning.

DEVELOPING T he essay attempts to establish a f ormal style that may not be maintained
throughout. T he essay attempts to vary sentence structure and uses some precise
language that may be domain-specif ic at times in a way that may address the
complexity of the topic inconsistently. T he essay contains some errors that may, at
times, interf ere with meaning.

EMERGING T he essay does not establish and/or maintain a f ormal style. T he essay uses little
variety in sentence structure, and the language is general and not domain-specif ic.
T he essay contains errors that interf ere with meaning.