Positive Personal Growth

Module-1

How to Develop Positive Personality

Author: Exforsys Inc. Published on: 28th Jan 2010

Every person has a unique personality that characterizes the totality of being an individual. Our
personalities may be perceived by others as good or bad. People see you and think of you as
having a bad personality if you tend not to socialize, you always seem grumpy and overly
serious, you think more of pessimistic thoughts, and you do not look presentable with your
manner of dressing. On the other hand, you are known to have a good personality if you have a
cheerful disposition, you appear neat and well-groomed, and you have a desirable attitude.

You are known for who you are and what you are with the way you present yourself to people. If
you keep getting feedback or remarks regarding your personality, you might as well take a self-
reflection and assess yourself.

Sometimes, other people can see and notice the things in you that may not seem proper and
pleasing to them. You might have already turned people off with your use of words and even
gestures. If this is the case, start taking actions to build a positive personality.

A paradigm shift in your personality may lead you to greater possibilities of improving your life
and growing in maturity. So, how do you develop a positive personality? Here are some ways
you can do this.

Have a Positive Outlook in Life

Take a self-reflection of how you envision your life and the way you deal with life and people
everyday. Do you think of consequences and failure when in a situation instead of thinking of
ways and means on how to face it? Do you view life as pointless and useless because you cannot
seem to find your purpose? If this is how you perceive life to be, it is time to change to a positive
outlook.

Firstly, find out what you really want to happen with your life, your career, business, or
relationship with other people. Know where you are going and what you love to do. Set personal
goals to determine what you wish to attain. This will give you a sense of direction and
determination. Of course, knowing how to achieve these goals is very important. You need to
know what to do and if you need the help of other people to reach these goals.

Entertain Positive Thoughts

Having a generally positive outlook in life can also help develop positive thoughts. Keeping an
optimistic mind also keeps one’s viewpoints positive. When you have set your goals, always
keep telling yourself that you will achieve them and believe that you will. Trust that you can do
the things you wish to attain, and believe in your capabilities to manifest them. This includes
thinking of positive thoughts, visualizing them, and materializing those ambitions.

For example, if you desire to live an abundant life, picture yourself out in a lavish and wealthy
living. Focus on that goal and work for it. Of course, it will not be that easy to achieve it if you
are only stuck with your thoughts. There has to be an action plan to make your dreams come
true.

Maintain a Positive Attitude

Keeping a positive attitude is another way to develop a positive personality. Build your level of
courtesy toward others. Show consideration and respect for them by giving a warm smile, saying
‘thank you’ to show appreciation, and listening when someone is talking.

These are but just a few of the many ways to manifest courtesy. Also, be understanding and
caring to other people’s needs. Everyone appreciates and admires a person who shows genuine
understanding. It is a way of keeping good relationships with other people.

Be enthusiastic and show confidence in whatever you do. Someone who manifests enthusiasm
can easily attain success. For example, if you take your work and the tasks assigned to you
wholeheartedly and with eagerness, it will not be that difficult to accomplish whatever needs to
be done since you have the passion to do it. Smile a lot rather than frown.

A smile can make a big difference in a chaotic and complicated situation. A smile can be a cure
for a broken relationship. A sincere smile shows that you hold no grudges against others.

Be the Best You: 7 Keys to a Positive Personality

1. Positive Affirmations:

Speak to yourself positively; control your inner dialog. Use positive affirmations phrased in the
positive, present, and personal tense: “I like myself!” “I can do it!” “I feel terrific!” “ I am
responsible!”

Receive my FREE report: Discovering Your Talents

We believe that fully 95 percent of your emotions are determined by the way you talk to yourself
as you go throughout your day. The sad fact is that if you do not deliberately and consciously
talk to yourself in a positive and constructive way, you will, by default, think about things that
will make you unhappy or cause you worry and anxiety.

As we said before, your mind is like a garden. If you do not deliberately plant flowers and tend
carefully, weeds will grow without any encouragement at all.
2. Positive visualization:

Perhaps the most powerful ability that you have is the ability to visualize and see your goals as
already accomplished.

Create a clear, exciting picture of your goal and your ideal life, and replay this picture in your
mind over and over. All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental
pictures. As you “see” yourself on the inside, you will “be” on the outside.

3. Positive people:

Your choice of the people with whom you live, work, and associate will have more of an impact
on your emotions and your success that any other factor. Decide today to associate with winners,
with positive people, with people who are happy and optimistic and who are going somewhere
with their lives.

Avoid negative people at all costs. Negative people are the primary source of most of life’s
unhappiness. Resolve that from today onward, you are not going to have stressful or negative
people in your life.

4. Positive mental food:

Just as your body is healthy to the degree to which you eat healthy, nutritious foods, your mind is
healthy to the degree to which you feed it with “mental protein” rather than “mental candy.”

Read books, magazines, and articles that are educational, inspirational, or motivational. Feed
your mind with information and ideas that are uplifting and that make you feel happy and more
confident about yourself and your world.

Listen to positive, constructive CDs and audio programs in your car and on your MP3 player or
iPod. Feed your mind continually with positive messages that help you think and act better and
make you more capable and competent in your field.

Watch positive and educational DVDs, educational television programs, online courses, and
other uplifting material that increases your knowledge and makes you feel good about yourself
and your life.

5. Positive training and development:

Almost everyone in our society starts off with limited resources, sometimes with no money at all.
Virtually all fortunes begin with the sale of personal services of some kind. All the people who
are at the top today were once at the bottom, and sometimes they fell to the bottom several times.

The miracle of lifelong learning and personal improvement is what takes you from rags to riches,
from poverty to affluence, and from underachievement to success and financial independence.
As Jim Rohn sald, ”Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a
fortune.”

When you dedicate yourself to learning and growing and becoming better and more effective in
your thoughts and actions, you take complete control of your life and dramatically increase the
speed at which you move upward to greater heights.

6. Positive health habits:

Take excellent care of your physical health and wellness. Resolve today that you are going to
live to be eighty, ninety, or one hundred years old and still be dancing in the evenings.

Eat healthy foods, natural and nutritious, and eat them sparingly and in proper balance. A
nutritional diet will have an immediate, positive effect on your thoughts and feelings.

Resolve to get regular exercise, at least two hundred minutes of motion per week, walking ,
running, swimming, bicycling, or working out on equipment in the gym. When you exercise on a
regular basis, you feel happier and healthier and experience lower levels of stress and fatigue
than a person who sits on the couch and watches television all evening.

Especially, get ample rest and relaxation. You need to recharge your batteries on a regular basis,
especially when you are going through periods of stress or difficulty. Vince Lombardi once said,
“Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

Some of the factors that predispose us to negative emotions of all kinds are poor health habits,
sleep deprivation, lack of exercise, and nonstop work. Seek balance in your life.

7. Positive expectations:

Practicing the Law of Attraction is one of the most powerful techniques you can use to become a
positive person and to ensure positive outcomes and better results in your life.

Your expectations become your own self-fulfilling prophesies. Whatever you expect, with
confidence, seems to come into your life.

Since you can control your expectations, you should always expect the best. Expect to be
successful. Expect to be popular when you meet new people. Expect to achieve great goals and
create a wonderful life for yourself. When you constantly expect good things to happen, you will
seldom be disappointed.

I hope you enjoyed this post on developing a more positive attitude with positive affirmations.
Please leave a comment and share with your friends!

Module II: Positive Emotions

What is emotion?
The word emotion includes a wide range of observable behaviors, expressed feelings, and
changes in the body state. This diversity in intended meanings of the word emotion make it hard
to study. For many of us emotions are very personal states, difficult to define or to identify
except in the most obvious instances. Moreover, many aspects of emotion seem unconscious to
us. Even simple emotional states appear to be much more complicated than states as hunger and
thirst.

Daniel Goleman has suggested that there are five components of EQ:

1. Knowing our own emotions: Emotions are termed as powerful reactions. It means to say that
everyone should be aware of his emotions. However, this is not the case. It has been proved that
some are highly aware of their emotional side of life, and others are perfectly oblivious to their
emotions. It has some serious implications for day-to-day life. If one is not aware of his
emotions how can one make a judgment like whom to marry, whom to date with, or which
car to buy. Second, it has been observed that when one is not has any inkling about one’s
emotions then they are found to be low in expressiveness. Expressiveness means showing your
expressions through facial expressions, body language, and other gestures. Lack of
expressiveness hurts in terms of interpersonal relationships since, other people will find it tough
to decipher the inner world of that person. Hence, being aware of one’s emotions is a must.

2. Managing your own emotions: In day-to-day life, often we try to manage our emotions. It is
like regulating the nature, intensity and expression of concerned emotions. For example, if we
don’t get expected grade in the examination, we try to remain calm before our parents,
nevertheless, the emotions running behind our face is not good. Managing emotions is very much
important for your mental health and for keeping your interaction with others efficient.

3. Motivating ourselves: To get something special in our life, one thing that matters most is self
motivation. Motivating oneself to work hard and be on right direction is one of the main aspects
of Emotional Intelligence. Being high in this can give surprising results for any individual.

4. Recognizing and influencing others’ emotions: This relates to the ability to understand
others exactly. It is to recognize their mood and the emotions that they had at any point of time.
As life experience says, this ability is very much valuable in practical settings. For example,
understanding others’ mood and emotions exactly can say us whether it is the right time or not to
ask for a favor.

5. Handling relationship: Handling relationship is the most important point of strong

interpersonal relationship. We have seen many people who handle relationship very well and in
the process become successful. On the other hand, some people make a total mess of their
interpersonal relationship. This is the basic difference between having good EQ and not. A
person with high EQ will always handle relationship in optimum way.
Negative emotions are, for example: apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret,
resentment, anger, hostility. Criticized, Disrespected, Embarrassed, Humiliated, Inferior,
Insulted

Positive emotions are, for example: interest, enthusiasm, boredom, laughter, empathy, action,
curiosity, love, Aware, Awesome, Balanced, and Beautiful, Believing, Blessed, Blissful, Brave,
Bright, Brilliant, Calm, And Capable

Managing your Emotions:

Strong emotions are both a cause of, and a result of conflict. People in conflict may have a
variety of strong and often negative emotions--anger, distrust, disappointment, frustration,
confusion, worry, or fear. These emotions often mask the substantive issues in dispute. However,
the emotions, too, are real and must be dealt with.

1) Recognize and understand your own emotions as well as your opponents'.

2) Determine the source of the feelings.

3) Talk about feelings--yours and your opponents'. Don't suppress them, or deny them--
acknowledge them and deal with them directly.

4) Express your own feelings in a non-confrontational way. This can be done, for example, by
using I-messages, where you say "I feel angry because. . ." rather than "You made me angry by. .
." The first approach explains your feelings without accusing anyone else, while the second
focuses blame on the opponent who is likely to become hostile or defensive in response..

5) Acknowledge your opponents' feelings as legitimate.

6) Do not react emotionally to emotional outbursts. You should acknowledge the outburst with
active listening (which shows that you understand the strength of the speaker's feelings),

7) Use symbolic gestures. Gestures such as apologies, sympathy notes, shared meals, or even
handshakes can be very useful in expressing respect and defusing negative emotions at little cost.

Module III: Hope, Optimism and Resilience

Be an Optimist
This is the golden rule to maintaining a positive attitude. Always believe in yourself. Being an
optimist does not only mean to see the brighter side of life. To be an optimist means to view the
surroundings wherein you maximize your strengths and achievements and minimize your
weaknesses and apprehensions.
It is difficult to change yourself in a day But at least give it a try. A positive attitude in life
will help you go places. Just curb that fear in you and move towards the right path!!
Why be optimistic?

A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in

every difficulty. (Winston Churchill)

So why be optimistic, apart from the obvious point that when you are, you feel better and
more positive?

• Optimism makes life more enjoyable – it tends to create positive emotions which make us feel
good
• Optimism is catching – it’s like laughter: if you are positive, so are the people around you and
it spreads
• Studies show that optimists are winners in good times and better survivors in hard times, e.g.
concentration camps
• Optimism is a key factor for success in life. Some of the most successful innovations (e.g. the
light bulb and many books such as Lord of the Rings) suffered plenty of problems and rejections
in their inception, and if it wasn’t for the boundless optimism of their creators, they wouldn’t be
here.
• Optimism really pays off when you are faced with a life problem, setback or challenge as we
all are at one point or another in our lives
• What’s going to happen is going to happen anyway, so you might as well make the best of it,
otherwise what’s the point?
• Optimism is good for your health. Research has proven that a healthy dose of positive thinking
boosts your immune system so you stay healthy and keep illnesses at bay
• People perceive us based on how we perceive ourselves, which stems from our personal
values and beliefs. We are responsible for what happens because we have created it

Simple tips to help you be more optimistic

1. Thought police – monitor your thoughts and notice what you worry about. See the
Energise website’s tips and tools for details of keeping a stress diary which will shed
some light on what you worry about and what to do about it.
2. Spend your time with positive and upbeat people. Avoid things that drain your positivity –
depressing stories and negative people. Think of this as food and what effect it would have if you
were eating toxic or poisonous foods.
3. Get to know your gremlins – negative self-talk or mental chatter that can create
negative thinking. Acknowledging these is important so that you can let them go.
4. Look after yourself – eat good food, drink water, get enough sleep and exercise
because these things help you to feel optimistic.
5. Pamper yourself and take time to recharge. Shiatsu is great for this, especially if you
are going through a transition as many of our clients are, and especially if you suffer
from SAD syndrome or are prone to depression.
7. Don’t spend all your time regretting the past or living in the future; the only time you
really live and know that you can is RIGHT NOW, so focus your attention in the present
moment and enjoy it.
8. Have clear goals and know where you are heading and how to get there, but be
open to whatever occurs along the way. Eckhart Tolle’s book Practising the Power
of Now is excellent guidance for this.
9. Set aside a specific 30-minute time slot each day to focus on your worries and stresses. For the
rest of the day choose to be present and as optimistic as you can.
1. Resilient
Resilient people are those who face setbacks but ultimately, with perseverance, recover from
them. Try and be strong and face life’s difficulties as challenges; respond accordingly with
action, rather than with fear, self-pity, inferiority or blame. While life can be very
challenging, an important step in becoming more resilient is to develop the habit of positive
self talk and to remind yourself that you are strong and can grow stronger and wiser as you
handle life’s challenges.

Ten Ways to Become More Resilient

1. Build Positive Beliefs in Your Abilities

2. Find a Sense of Purpose in Your Life
3. Develop a Strong Social Network
4. Embrace Change
5. Be Optimistic
6. Nurture Yourself
7. Develop Your Problem-Solving Skills
8. Establish Goals
9. Take Steps to Solve Problems
10. Keep Working on Your Skills
Module IV: Application of Positive Emotions

Importance of Emotions

Survival

Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution. As a result, our emotions
have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system. Our
emotions alert us when natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely,
our need for connection with other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is
unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our need for acceptance which is unmet.

Decision Making

Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make decisions.
Studies show that when a person’s emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not
make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn’t know how he will feel about his choices.

Predicting Behavior

Our feelings are also useful in helping us predict our own, and others’ behavior.

Communication

Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for example, can convey
a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their
help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and
thereby have a better chance of filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional
troubles of others, we are better able to help them feel understood, important and cared about.

Happiness

The only real way to know that we are happy is when we feel happy. When we feel happy, we
feel content and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particularly our
emotional needs. We can be warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our
feelings let us know when we are unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better
we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy.

Leading With Positive Emotions

In the wake of the attacks of September 11th, Americans and others remain afraid, angry and
profoundly sad. At first blush, positive emotions seem out of place - even inappropriate - during
these trying times. For the moment, perhaps we should forget about feeling good altogether, and
simply find ways to cope. Yet scientific research on positive emotions suggests that feeling good
is far more important than many people suspect. Experiencing positive emotions - like joy,
gratitude, hope or peace - is a sign that a person is, at that moment, not experiencing fear, anger
or sadness. Yet positive emotions do much more than merely signal well-being. Positive
emotions also improve coping and produce well-being. They do so not just in the present,
pleasant moment, but over the long term as well. Positive emotions also can have profound
social and organizational repercussions. This document provides a brief summary of theory and
research that underscores the relevance of leading with positive emotions during trying times.

Positive Emotions Undo Negative Emotions

Negative emotions have important functions. Anxiety promotes vigilance. Anger promotes
seeking justice. Yet negative emotions often linger on beyond their usefulness, producing
unnecessary irritability and increases in heart rate and blood pressure. Laboratory experiments
have demonstrated that evoking positive emotions in these circumstances is the most efficient
way to quell or "undo" the lingering aftereffects of negative emotions. Cultivating positive
emotions speeds the return to cardiovascular normalcy. This undoing effect of positive emotions
has been shown both for energized positive emotions like joy and amusement, and for tranquil
positive emotions, like serenity and appreciation. The ability to cultivate positive emotions is
thus an important skill for regulating negative emotions.

Positive Emotions Fuel Resilience

In part because positive emotions speed recovery from negative emotions they also fuel resilient
coping. Resilient people, studies show, experience more positive emotions in the midst of
adversity compared to those who are less resilient. These greater positive emotions, in turn, help
resilient people bounce back to pre-crisis levels of functioning. Such findings suggest the timely
cultivation of positive emotions is one way that people use emotions intelligently.

Positive Emotions Broaden Thinking and Build Resources

Positive emotions have important functions beyond alleviating negative emotions and fueling
resilient coping, functions that have long been overlooked by scientists studying emotions. I
spotlight these additional functions in my broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions.1 Unlike
negative emotions, which narrow people's ideas about action (e.g., fight or flight), the broaden-
and-build theory posits that positive emotions broaden people's mindsets, encouraging them to
discover novel lines of thought or action. Joy, for instance, creates the urge to play, interest the
urge to explore, and so on. A key, incidental outcome of these broadened mindsets is an increase
in personal resources: As individuals discover new ideas and actions, they build their physical,
intellectual, social and psychological resources. Play, for instance, builds physical, socio-
emotional and intellectual skills, and fuels brain development. Similarly, exploration increases
knowledge and psychological complexity. So by broadening people's mindsets, positive
emotions build durable personal resources that function as reserves to be drawn on during later
trying times.

Positive Emotions Trigger Upward Spirals toward Optimal Functioning

Because positive emotions broaden thinking and build enduring psychological resources like
resilience, they also trigger upward spirals toward enhanced emotional well-being. Put
differently, any positive emotion you experience today not only feels good now, but also
increases the likelihood you will feel good in the future. Studies that track the same individuals
over time have documented this phenomenon.2 The study of depression had already documented
a downward spiral in which depressed mood and the narrowed, pessimistic thinking it brings,
influence one another reciprocally, leading to ever worsening functioning and moods, and even
clinical levels of depression. In contrast, the broaden-and-build theory predicts a comparable
upward spiral in which positive emotions and the broadened thinking they bring also influence
one another reciprocally, leading to appreciable increases in functioning and well-being.

Positive Emotions May Produce Optimal Functioning in Organizations

The benefits of positive emotions do not end with changes within individuals. Because one
individual's experience of positive emotion can reverberate through other organizational
members and across interpersonal transactions with customers, positive emotions may fuel
optimal organizational functioning, helping organizations to thrive and prosper. Take the
example of helpful or compassionate actions. Decades of experiments show that people are more
likely to help others when feeling positive emotions. But good deeds not only spring from
positive emotions, they also produce them. Those receiving good deeds feel grateful, those
witnessing good deeds feel elevated and those doing good deeds feel pride. Strikingly, each of
these very different positive emotions functions to increase the likelihood of further
compassionate acts, creating a chain of increasing organizational impact.3

Module V: Happiness and Well Being

Elements of the Personal Wellbeing Index are satisfaction with:

Your health;
Your personal relationships;
How safe you feel;
Your standard of living;
What you are achieving in life;
Feeling part of the community; and
Your future security

Secrets to Living a Vibrantly Happy, Healthy Life:

Manage your stress and you'll fix almost everything

Stress is the cause of a staggering number of health problems and worsens any medical
condition. Stress causes us to age faster, throws our hormones out of whack, and makes us feel
anxious, fearful and irritable. I recently attended at course at Harvard's Benson-Henry Institute of
Mind Body Medicine, and was staggered by the protean effects of stress and just how pervasive
it is in our lives and our society. I discovered that I was way more stressed than I realized, and
was living with a steady undercurrent of it. Learn to recognize the signs of stress in your own
body and mind, and counteract them actively (yoga, breathing breaks, mini-meditations
throughout the day, exercise, play, prayer, positive self-talk, etc.).

Sleep is ground zero

If you don't get enough sleep, everything else will suffer. Sleep deprivation (which most of us
suffer from) puts you in a pre-diabetic state, messes with your metabolism, makes you
dramatically more likely to be overweight, increases your appetite, decreases your productivity,
hampers your immune system, and makes you tired, moody, anxious and likely to be depressed.
If you're struggling with any of the things on this list and you're not getting enough sleep (less
than 8 hours a night), aim for improved sleep first before trying any other life strategies.

If you respect your own boundaries, people will respect you

I wrote recently about the fact that people-pleasers are most likely to be targeted by bullies.
Historically I have been a terrible people-pleaser and spent way too much time and effort trying
to make everyone happy. Practice building self-awareness, discover what you are willing to do
and what you don't want to do. Start putting this into practice by saying no when something
doesn't resonate or align with who you really are. People might get mad at first, but eventually
most will come to respect you. And you won't secretly (or not so secretly) resent them anymore.
Oh the peace.

Be childlike

Who said you had to grow up and be so serious? Cultivate the very best of the child within you.
Practice childlike awe for majestic things, childlike silliness (my husband loves silly cat videos
on YouTube, for example), childlike faith, childlike hope, childlike play and creativity. When it
comes to certain things, children do them way better than we do. Recapture it - it's still inside
you.

Don't wait

Don't put off life; don't wait until things are perfect. Figure out how you can start now, start
small. Just start. You'll be so glad you did.

Give your heart priority over your head

Much of my work with coaching clients is getting them to stop being logical and practical. Yes,
it's important to have a realistic plan, and a back-up plan, but start the plan in your heart first.
Ask yourself what you'd love to experience if anything were possible. Then use your head to
figure out how you might get there. Don't let your head rule the show, it loves to make silly
pronouncements like "you're too old", "that will never work" , "who do you think you are" and
"what will people think". Your heart's much kinder and more optimistic.
Have faith

My spiritual practice and faith are the core of my personal and professional life. I believe (and
have experienced) that there is something greater helping me out in life. There are endless
studies that show the benefits of faith and spiritual practice on physical health, mental health
and happiness. Everything just goes better.

When your body says stop, listen to it

Learning to listen to your body is a major ingredient for lasting success in life. Drink water when
you're thirsty. Eat good food when you're hungry and stop when your body says it's full. Sleep
when your body wants to. Stop pushing when you feel tired. Take a vacation when every cell in
your body and mind is screaming for it. Take a break when your shoulders creep up around your
ears or your neck starts aching. Take really good care of your body, and listen to it. In turn, it
will take really good care of you.

The Six Components of Work -Life Balance

1) Self-Management

Sufficiently managing one’s self can be challenging, particularly in getting proper sleep,
exercise, and nutrition. Self-management is the recognition that effectively using the spaces in
our lives is vital, and that available resources, time, and life are finite. It means becoming captain
of our own ship; no one is coming to steer for us.
2) Time Management

Effective time management involves making optimal use of your day and the supporting
resources that can be summoned – you keep pace when your resources match your challenges.
Time management is enhanced through appropriate goals and discerning what is both important
and urgent, versus important or urgent. It entails knowing what you do best and when, and
assembling the appro-priate tools to accomplish specific tasks.
3) Stress Management

By nature, societies tend to become more complex over time. In the face of increasing
complexity, stress on the individual is inevitable. More people, distractions, and noise require
each of us to become adept at maintaining tranquility and working ourselves out of pressure-
filled situations. Most forms of multi-tasking ultimately increase our stress, versus focusing on
one thing at a time.
4) Change Management

In our fast-paced world, change is virtually the only constant. Continually adopting new methods
and re-adapting others is vital to a successful career and a happy home life. Effective change
management involves making periodic and concerted efforts to ensure that the volume and rate
 of change at work and at home does not overwhelm or defeat you.
5) Technology Management

Effectively managing technology means ensuring that technology serves you, rather than abuses
you. Technology has always been with us, since the first walking stick, flint, spear, and wheel.
Now, the rate of change is accelerating, brought on by vendors seeking expanding market share.
Often there is no choice but to keep up with the technological Joneses, but you must rule
technology, not vice versa.
6) Leisure Management

The most overlooked of the work-life balance supporting disciplines, leisure management
acknowledges the importance of rest and relaxation- that one can’t short-change leisure, and that
“time off” is a vital component of the human experience. Curiously, too much of the same leisure
activity, however enjoyable, can lead to monotony. Thus, effective leisure management requires
varying one’s activities.

The Resilience Scale™ (RS™)

Please read the following statements. To the right of each you will find seven numbers,
ranging from "1" (Strongly Disagree) on the left to "7" (Strongly Agree) on the right. Click
the circle below the number which best indicates your feelings about that statement. For
example, if you strongly disagree with a statement, click the circle below "1". If you are
neutral, click "4", and if you strongly agree, click "7", etc. You must answer every question to
submit the test for scoring.
Strongly Strongly
Disagree Agree

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
1. When I make plans, I follow through with them.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
2. I usually manage one way or another.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
3. I am able to depend on myself more than anyone else.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
4. Keeping interested in things is important to me.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
5. I can be on my own if I have to.

6. I feel proud that I have accomplished things in life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
7. I usually take things in stride.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8. I am friends with myself.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
9. I feel that I can handle many things at a time.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
10. I am determined.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
11. I seldom wonder what the point of it all is.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
12. I take things one day at a time.

13. I can get through difficult times because I've experienced difficulty 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
before.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
14. I have self-discipline.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
15. I keep interested in things.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
16. I can usually find something to laugh about.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
17. My belief in myself gets me through hard times.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
18. In an emergency, I'm someone people can generally rely on.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
19. I can usually look at a situation in a number of ways.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
20. Sometimes I make myself do things whether I want to or not.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
21. My life has meaning.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
22. I do not dwell on things that I can't do anything about.

23. When I'm in a difficult situation, I can usually find my way out of it. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
24. I have enough energy to do what I have to do.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
25. It's okay if there are people who don't like me.

© 1987 Gail M. Wagnild & Heather M. Young. Used by permission. All rights reserved. "The Resilience Scale" is an international
trademark of Gail M. Wagnild & Heather M. Young.

Scores Interpretation

Very Low 25-130

Your resilience level is very low but this doesn’t mean you have zero resilience.
Everyone is resilient to some degree. Others with your score have reported high
levels of depression, anxiety, unmanaged stress, lack of self-confidence and
much discouragement. You can strengthen your resilience and doing so will
make a significant and positive change in your life. There are many articles on
this website that may help so check back frequently for more helpful
information.

Mod High 131-160

Your resilience level is moderate; neither high nor low. You have many
characteristics of resilience and can build on those to keep strengthening your
resilience. Others with your score have reported dissatisfaction and a sense of
imbalance in some areas of their life while other areas are good. You can
strengthen your resilience and doing so will make a significant and positive
change in your life. There are many articles on this website that may help so
check back frequently for more helpful information.

Very High 161-175

Your resilience level is high, which means that you are doing very well in almost
all aspects of resilience. Others with your score report that they are rarely if
ever depressed or anxious about their lives. Stress is manageable. Anxiety is
low. Life is good. You will want to keep your resilience strong; it takes practice.
There are many articles on this Website that may help so check back frequently
for more helpful information.

Oxford Happiness Questionnaire

The Oxford Happiness Questionnaire was developed by psychologists Michael Argyle

and Peter Hills at Oxford University. Take a few moments to take the survey. This is
a good way to get a snapshot of your current level of happiness. You can even use
your score to compare to your happiness level at some point in the future by taking
the survey again.

Instructions

Below are a number of statements about happiness. Please indicate how much you
agree or disagree with each by entering a number in the blank after each
statement, according to the following scale:

1 = strongly disagree
2 = moderately disagree
3 = slightly disagree
4 = slightly agree
5 = moderately agree
6 = strongly agree

Please read the statements carefully, because some are phrased positively and
others negatively. Don’t take too long over individual questions; there are no
“right” or “wrong” answers (and no trick questions). The first answer that comes
into your head is probably the right one for you. If you find some of the questions
difficult, please give the answer that is true for you in general or for most of the
time.

The Questionnaire

1. I don’t feel particularly pleased with the way I am. (R) _____

2. I am intensely interested in other people. _____

3. I feel that life is very rewarding. _____

4. I have very warm feelings towards almost everyone. _____

5. I rarely wake up feeling rested. (R) _____

6. I am not particularly optimistic about the future. (R) _____

7. I find most things amusing. _____

8. I am always committed and involved. _____

9. Life is good. _____

10. I do not think that the world is a good place. (R) _____

11. I laugh a lot. _____

12. I am well satisfied about everything in my life. _____

13. I don’t think I look attractive. (R) _____

14. There is a gap between what I would like to do and what I have done.
(R) _____

15. I am very happy. _____

16. I find beauty in some things. _____

17. I always have a cheerful effect on others. _____

18. I can fit in (find time for) everything I want to. _____

19. I feel that I am not especially in control of my life. (R) _____

20. I feel able to take anything on. _____

21. I feel fully mentally alert. _____

22. I often experience joy and elation. _____

23. I don’t find it easy to make decisions. (R) _____

24. I don’t have a particular sense of meaning and purpose in my life. (R) _____

25. I feel I have a great deal of energy. _____

26. I usually have a good influence on events. _____

27. I don’t have fun with other people. (R) _____

28. I don’t feel particularly healthy. (R) _____

29. I don’t have particularly happy memories of the past. (R) _____

Calculate your score

Step 1. Items marked (R) should be scored in reverse:

If you gave yourself a “1,” cross it out and change it to a “6.”

Change “2″ to a “5″
Change “3″ to a “4″
Change “4″ to a “3″
Change “5″ to a “2″
Change “6″ to a “1″

Step 2. Add the numbers for all 29 questions. (Use the converted numbers for the
12 items that are reverse scored.)

Step 3. Divide by 29. So your happiness score = the total (from step 2) divided by
29.

I recommend you record your score and the date. Then you’ll have the option to
compare your score now with your score at a later date. This can be especially
helpful if you are trying some of the exercises, and actively working on increasing
your happiness.

UPDATE: A lot of people have been asking for some kind of interpretation of the
raw number “happiness score” you get in step 3 above. What follows is just off the
top of my head, but it’s based in part on the fact that the average person gets a
score of about 4.

INTERPRETATION OF SCORE

I suggest you read all the entries below regardless of what score you got, because I
think there’s valuable information here for everyone.

1-2 : Not happy. If you answered honestly and got a very low score, you’re
probably 2-3 : Somewhat unhappy.seeing yourself and your situation as worse than
it really is.

3-4 : Not particularly happy or unhappy. A score of 3.5 would be an exact

numerical average of happy and unhappy responses.

: Somewhat happy or moderately happy. Satisfied. This is what the average

person scores.

4-5 : Rather happy; pretty happy. Check other score ranges for some of my
suggestions.
5-6 : Very happy. Being happy has more benefits than just feeling good. It’s
correlated with benefits like health, better marriages, and attaining your goals.
Check back – I’ll be writing a post about this topic soon.

6 : Too happy. Yes, you read that right. Recent research seems to show that there’s
an optimal level of happiness for things like doing well at work or school, or for
being healthy, and that being “too happy” may be associated with lower levels of
such things.