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I Realization
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I am result of my thoughts
I Realization 2
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I Realization 3
Testimonials
The programme conducted by Mr.Dipankar Biswas of Life Management Academy,
Hyderabad for the Officers of the High Court are found to be highly useful for all round
development of attitude and performance of the Officers. They are exuberant and informative.
Mr. P. Swaroop Reddy,
Registrar General, HIGH COURT OF ANDHRA PRADESH
“Hi! I am Siva Priya and I've undertaken this L.C. After this I feel I 'm on a constant 'High' in
Life. Mainly because I know what I am and I have to do. I think in fact I have achieved things
beyond my expectations. All those who've achieved their goals but still dissatisfied then this is
what you should be doing.”
J. Siva Priya,
Trainer, DELOITTE CONSULTING INDIA
“All the individuals who attended the programme, it looks like they not only enjoyed the
sessions but also seemed to have gained significantly.”
Mr.Sudhir Rao,
Managing Director, BARTRONICS INDIA LIMITED
“I have attended so many programs on self-development and read a lot of books before, but the
results I achieved from 'life coaching” out weigh others. I have achieved breakthrough in
various areas of my life like business, relationships and health. Mr. Dipankar Biswas is an
excellent Life Coach. With his training in Australia he skilfully balances the ideas of west and
east.”
Mr.Subba Rao Yadlapati,
Managing Director, RPP Ltd.
“Mr Dipankar was very articulate in communicating his ideas and conducted the programme
with lot of confidence. His programme was very educative and was well received. The staff and
management are quite impressed with Mr.Dipankar's knowledge of the subject and
presentation skills.
Dr.M.Veera Prasad, Vice President – Medical Services, Global Hospitals
“I have learned so much from the workshop today. I can see everyone was engrossed in the
workshop. I am very happy with the programme and I would like to have such workshop every
three months.”
Mr.D Ramana Kumar, IAS
Regional Labour Commissioner
“The programme was very well received by every participant. Everyone was spellbound with
the presentation of Mr. Dipankar Biswas.”
Mr.Y Bhaskara Rao, Deputy Secretary, FAPCCI
I Realization 4
I am result of my own thoughts,

actions and words
I use in my communication with self and others
I Realization 5
Contents Page No.

Introduction ............................................................................ 9
Which is the most important relationship? ............................ 10
It takes 90 days to form a habit. ............................................ . 11
Ego is the biggest obstacle towards the path of happiness .... 13
? Success Action Exercise - A ............................. . 13
Four stages of adult learning ........................................... 14
Thoughts are two way swords: .......................................... . 17
?
How communication changes with thoughts? 18
?
I am result of my own thoughts 19
In case of suicide who kills whom? .................................. . 21
?
I want to or I feel like committing suicide. 21
?
I can't live with myself. 22
?
Success Action Exercise: 1 22
Time Management is Life Management .......................... . 23
?
?
My 24 Hours Activities 25
Business Etiquette ................................................................. . 26
?
First impressions count 26
?
Rules of Introduction 27
?
Success Action Exercise - B 27
The master key to your growth is awareness about self .. 28
We all are suffering from psychosomatic illness? .......... 30
?
How much is your value? .................................................... . 33
?
Employee – Employer Relationship 35
?
Why there is probation period? 37
?
Stress Management Technique: ........................................ . 43
? Forgiveness ......................................................................... . 44
? Gratitude Writing ............................... . 45
? In a nutshell reasons for stress are: ............................... . 46
? Steps to manage your stress ............................... . 46
I Realization 6
How big is your family? ...................................................... . 47

Drama Triangle: .............................................................. . 49
Growth in life is infinity: .................................................. . 51
? How to write a goal? .................................................. . 53
? Success Action Exercise – 5 .................................................. . 55
Four basic traits to enrich of our lives ............................... . 56
SUCCESS Pyramid ............................................................ . 57
The most important contribution is Emotional Resource ......... 59
? Success Action Exercise ........................................... . 61
? Strategy to achieve your emotional balance: ............. ............ 61
? You can cure your own illness: ............................... . 62
How to be an effective communicator? 64
Effective Communication Success Action Exercise-1 67
How our communication evolves? 68
Effective Communication Success Action Exercise 2 70
Interpersonal Relationship Workshop Exercise & Role Play 71
Barriers in communication Group Exercise through a Game: 72
TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE .... .................................. 73
Email Writing .... ............................................................ 74
SIX HUMAN NEEDS .... ..................................................... 75
10 Years Success Planning Exercise ............................... . 78
The only person I can have total control is self .... ............ 80
Work-life balance 81
Time Management Techniques 83
1 Years Success Planning Exercise 86
Deal with Criticism 89
Change is the only thing which is constant in this world. 91
Success Action Exercise 92
Life is full of Adventures 93
I remain young if I am open to learning 95
Please make this year your best year ever 97
A Day In My Life 98
I Realization 7
SELLING IS THE HIGHEST PAID JOB 100

? Objection is an opportunity in disguise 101
? Pre-emptive strike 102
?
DEALING WITH OBJECTION 104
?
Examples of handling objections 104
?
Closing the sale: Asking for business 104
SMARTIES GOAL & Inspirational writing: 106

My 24 Hours Activities 107
Train the Trainer: Become a Life Skills Trainer 108
I Realization 8
“The highest possible stage in human culture is when we

recognise that we ought to control our thoughts.”
Charles Darwin 1809- 1882, Naturalist
If I want to change the society, organisation or my family for betterment then first
I need to change my thoughts and actions for betterment. As everyone changes for
betterment and take responsibility and actions towards their own job as a family,
we become a strong family, strong, organisation, strong society and strong country.
Most difficult task in human life is to conquer self. If you can conquer self,
you can conquer the world. If you want to conquer yourself, then you have to
conquer your mind. Mastering our mind is the most difficult job, but most
satisfying accomplishment in one's life time. Here you are to conquer your
mind to achieve success and happiness in life
I Realization 9
Introduction
Welcome to explore self to become a better thinker, an effective communicator,
decision maker, Leader and public speaker, and master earning skills in 90 days.
Let me ask you a question, can you make money?
The only people can make money are the people who work in mint. Rest of us will have to earn
money and money can be earned by exchange of goods or services. Most of us earn money by
exchanging service through Intellectual (Knowledge) resource contribution and Emotional
resource contribution.
Emotional resource contributions with core values play a vital role to be successful in life
for long-term health, wealth and happiness.
According to Earl Nightingale 'Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal’
I realised the
Finance
master key to
success &
happiness is
the self-
ppines s
to H a
Road
discipline and
balancing of
three areas.
They are
Relationship, Relationship Health
Health and Res y Th ise
th ou erc
pon or x
sibi st
w gh lE
lity Commitment
Tr
u ts Food ica
Finance. Ph
ys
If I focus on only finance and ignore relationship and health, in the long run I am bound to
collapse. I should have a strong foundation of RELATIONSHIP with self and others. The
roots of my RELATIONSHIP are Commitment to self and others, taking Responsibility for
my every action and being Trustworthy. The next pillar is HEALTH. The roots of my
HEALTH are the thoughts I feed in my mind, the food I feed my body and Physical Exercise
I practice every day.
I Realization 10
Which is the most important relationship?

Relationship Map: Place a number against each relationship according to your priority in
your Life right now, as you are attending this training program.
Most important relationship will be number 1 and next important will be 2… Priority will
change in Professional life and Personal life and will vary from time to time in your life.
Workshop slide
How do you rate your relationship with others, according to your perception?
We play different roles at different times. If I am aware of my role and consciously play my
role well (accepting my role whole heartedly), I will live in the present rather than past or
future. Most of us are living in the past or future.
How much time do you spend with your parents, spouse and children ?
Action to take : Ask question and listen to them with undivided attention.
I Realization 11
It takes 90 days to form a habit.

Anything we do repeatedly becomes part of habit. They become a state of mind and dictate our
response. They are our behavioural pattern developed over a long period of time as a result of
conscious or unconscious conditioning of our mind. We are being conditioned continuously
by our external environment such as the kind of book we read, the kind of movies and TV
programme we watch, the kind of music we listen and kind of parent we got. It takes almost 90
days to form a habit. Good habits are hard to build but easy to live with. Bad habits are formed
easily but hard to live with.
I realised, our trouble is not ignorance, but inaction. I will only benefit from what I practise in
everyday life. Knowing and Doing are poles apart. Realization comes when I experience the
benefit of my knowledge by practice to lead myself in the right direction, and to take right
actions.
The key to success is forming the habits of doing what failures don't like to do.
To convert my knowledge into earnings I should be
emotionally sound. Emotion plays a vital role in our life. If I
am doing what is right for me to achieve my financial goal in
spite of all the emotional turmoil, I become emotionally
intelligent. I realized if I am emotionally strong to
persist and act towards my financial goal, I will achieve
financial freedom in 90 days.
Anger is a negative emotion. It's the biggest obstacle

towards my path of success and happiness in spite of
having all the skills and knowledge.
Q. Last one month how many times did you get angry, let it be on any situation or person
and the reason?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Q. Who got hurt most in the process? Whose BP went up?
....................................................................................................................................................
I Realization 12
We are all spiritual beings in physical form. Our core values and time are our spiritual asset.
Happiness is state of mind. On the basis of thoughts our body reacts. Our body is the medium
of expression. Happiness is within us but we keep looking outside for happiness i.e., outside our
body. Our body and mind are two different entities, but most of us are unaware of that and we
start to identify ourselves with our conditioned mind. We are living an unconscious life. I am
not going to give you anything new in this training program. I will make you aware of what
you've got within yourself. Fire of knowledge i.e. awareness can take away your suffering.
Anyone or everyone can be happy and live in peace, if he or she is living in a conscious state of
living at present. But most of us are living in an unconscious state of living identified with our
past conditioned mind i.e. ego.
Our mind continuously produces thoughts what we call
'compulsive thinking'. It's very difficult to stop our thought
process but we can change our thought process through mental
exercise daily to live a happy and successful life.
Mind is the software and body is our hardware. There are two kind of software in our
computers. They are base software or operating software (Windows, Linux, Unix) and
application software or functional software (MS Office, Tally, Photoshop).
Similarly my mind consists of Thoughts (Operating Software) and Knowledge (Application
Software). I have antivirus software in my computer to clean my computer everyday and I
upgrade software whenever required to keep it up-to-date, otherwise my computer becomes
obsolete.
I realised I need to clean my mind regularly to keep

myself happy and enthusiastic, and I need to keep
upgrading my knowledge to remain up-to-date,
otherwise I will become obsolete.
BLAME GAME:
This is the story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and
Nobody. There was an important assignment to be done and Everybody was sure that
Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got
angry about that because it was Everybody's assignment. Everybody thought Anybody
could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that
Everybody blamed Somebody, when actually Nobody accused Anybody.
I Realization 13
Ego is the biggest obstacle towards the path of happiness

Whenever I read books and I REALIZATION TRAINING PROGRAM
understand them
intellectually only, and
think that I know
KNOWLEDGE
everything. I secure
certificates by appearing in
tests and justifying my
UNDERSTAND
arguments intellectually
without having experiential
knowledge. I may develop
Make others to Realize
ego. Ego is one of the biggest
hurdles in the path of our
I REALIZATION
happiness & success.
Success Action Exercise - A

As we step into adulthood, unconsciously we develop ego. In most instances if anyone asks
about anything, without thinking twice the reply is “yes, I know”.
Q. How often do you say “I know” in a day?
Q. When is last time you been reactive rather than observant? Please describe.
A…………………………………………………………………………………
Q. Describe a situation when you have been observant and the learning from the observation.
A.....................................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................................
......................................................................................
If I want to play a game, I need to be aware of the rules of the game; then only I can play the game
well and enjoy. Life is the biggest game and we came on this earth to play the game or I can take
it as an adventure.
When I accept my role and know the rules of the game, I start to enjoy. E.g. When I am working
in a corporate world, there are certain unwritten rules to be followed called etiquette. When I
am in different social circle, there are some unwritten rules to be followed in different societies
called culture, tradition or social etiquette.
I Realization 14
Four stages of adult learning

There are four stages of adult learning. As we step into adulthood, unconsciously we develop
ego. In most instances if anyone asks about anything, without thinking twice the reply is “yes, I
know”.
It's better to practise and have experiential knowledge before saying 'I know'.
Otherwise when I say “I know” to everything without having prior experiential knowledge,
what am I exactly saying? “I don't know even what I don't know.”
I am one of the biggest fools. Even I don't know what are the skills or knowledge I don't have
and I am not making any effort to know them. My ego is one of the biggest hurdles to learn new
subject and new skills. You may know so many things and you may not know so many other
things. The world is so vast; we should be open to learning all the time.
Stage -1: “I know” without Stage-1: I do not know what I don’t know
having a previous experiential (Unconscious of one’s incompetence)
knowledge on the subject.
Stage – 2: I took action and Stage-2 I know what I don’t know
found out that I couldn't
(Conscious of one’s incompetence)
perform the way I thought.
After attempting
Stage – 3: Once I came to know
that I am incompetent in the subject, Stage-3 I know what I know
I practised for sometime. Now (Conscious of one’s Competence)
I know I can perform the job but
consciously. After practising for sometime
Stage – 4: As I practise over a long Stage-4 I do not know what I know

period of time, it becomes a habit (Conscious of one’s Competence)
for me. Now I can perform that job
After practising over a long period of time
unconsciously.
In the workshop to have a better understanding of the above concept I take the help of Mogli
character from Jungle Book. Mogli is an expert in the Jungle; he can jump from one tree to
another tree. He can do whatever he feels like and lives like a king there. One day he observed
kids playing with bicycles. He thought it's easy to ride bicycle – “sit on the saddle and it
automatically starts moving”. One evening when the children left bicycles in their courtyard
and went to sleep; he wanted to enjoy the excitement of riding a bicycle. So he took out one of
the bicycles and sat on the saddle. Then what happened? Fell down! Didn't that happen to you
also when you tried to learn cycling or walking for the first time? Then you practised and within
a day or two you learned riding a bicycle. But for the first month you rode very consciously,
when to press the break- when to press the bell. Same process goes with riding a bike or car.
I Realization 15
Over a long period of practise you become expert and you can drive a car or ride a bike without
much focus on your driving.
It takes approximately 90 days to form a new habit. Therefore we have12 weeks personalized &
individual confidential coaching program for any issue in life. The clients come once in a week
for 2 hours session with a Life Coach to balance their life. I assure you will overcome your
challenges if you can complete all the 12 sessions. No one has gone without result. Everyone
got more than the expected result.
Success Action Exercise

Q. Please write a paragraph of minimum 5 lines on the topic 'Four Stages of Adult learning'.
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
I Realization 16
“Learning is the beginning of wealth.

Learning is the beginning of health.
Learning is the beginning of spirituality.
Practising and experiencing is where,
The miracle process all begins.
Formal education will give you a job;
Self-education will give you fortune.”
I Realization 17
Thoughts are two way swords:

Whenever I think bad of others, it does bad to me also.
To be an effective communicator I must change my thoughts. We communicate and act
on the basis of our thoughts and knowledge on the subject. It's not what I communicate
but how I communicate plays the major role in every relationship.
Though the fault is in every one of us, but no one likes to be blamed and commanded
by others including me. If I can communicate without blaming others, I can achieve
better results in both personal life and professional life.
Once my thoughts, actions and words I use in my communication with self and others are
aligned I become an effective communicator and my productivity multiplies.
I found in every incident or situation several thoughts are generated in my mind. All these
thoughts can be categorised into 3 categories. They are
1. Blaming (thoughts) others directly or indirectly and the word used is you,
2. 2nd category Justify (thoughts) my failure and 3rd category
3. Taking Responsibility(thoughts) of my every actions and result
On the basis of THOUGHTS we can categorize ourselves into three categories. They are
Victims, Aggressors and Creators.
Root cause of stress is THOUGHTS/MIND
1. Lay Blame Victim / Sufferer,

(We use ‘YOU’ to blame other)
2. Justify (Failure)/ Excuse Aggressor

We use 3rd person he/she/they to justify failure
3. Responsibility Leader / Creator
Replace ‘You with I’, otherwise ‘We’
No one can destroy us but our own thoughts destroy us

THOUGHTS X KNOWLEDGE X ACTION = ATTITUDE
I Realization 18
I realised when I didn't get the desired result, I was blaming situations, circumstances or
other people. Or I justified my failures, and in the long run I became a Victim of my own
creation. I escaped from immediate punishment but later on I became sufferer for my own
deeds.
The person, who takes responsibility of his actions, becomes the Creator of his own destiny.
Unknowing I was playing the blaming game or justifying my failure and I was getting
aggressive to prove that 'I was right'. I realised I was victimising myself and losing all
relationships including self. I was losing my self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence.
How communication changes with thoughts?
I was using 'You' to blame others and 'He/ She/ They' to justify my failure. For example, if I
was addressing a Public gathering or Press Conference and audiences were not listening to
me. I was blaming the Public & Journalists by saying, “You are not listening to me/ You are
disturbing me/ You are creating trouble/ You are asking irrelevant questions/ You are
provoking me.”; the list goes on.....
Instead of taking responsibility of my failure 'I was not well prepared/ I could not handle my
audience'; I was justifying my failure to my Parents, friends and colleagues by blaming the
audience and saying that “'He/ She/ They' 'was/ were' not listening to me/ They were
creating trouble/ They were asking irrelevant and provoking questions'
If you analyse the above communication, I was focusing outside people for my failure and I
was getting more frustrated. Then I started to observe my thoughts, actions and words that I
was using in my communication with self and other. Once I realized I can focus on myself
and took responsibility for my every actions and words. My communication changed to
'I' to take responsibility and 'WE' to acknowledge everyone's contribution
“I failed to control the crowd/ audience. 'I' was not well prepared.' As I acknowledged my
failure and took responsibility; I started investing on self and I improved to the next level.
As every 'I' takes his or her responsibility and perform his/ her job well; WE as a family,
organisation, society and country become strong. Our productivity multiplies to achieve
financial freedom.
The most empowering position is to be a CREATOR. To say “I am Responsible for my Life

and I will choose how I respond to any situation, so that it does not control me”.
I Realization 19
The most powerful people are Creators – they acknowledge the past and choose their
Future. Only human beings can change their destiny by changing their thoughts and
attitude. We create our own reality.
Most difficult task in human life is to conquer self. If you can conquer yourself, you can
conquer the world. If you want to conquer yourself, then you have to conquer your mind.
Mastering our mind is the most difficult job, but most satisfying accomplishment in one's
life time.
I am the result of my own thoughts

If I can improve the quality of my thinking, I will improve the quality of my life. Mind
generates thought and there is compulsive thinking; and most of the thoughts are negative
unless I make conscious effort to generate positive thoughts.
Psychologists estimate that we talk to ourselves more than 50,000 times a day, compulsive
thinking. These self talks or compulsive thinking directly influences our self-image and
determines our behaviour and attitude. Our mind is a superb instrument or you can say
super computer if we know how to use it for right action.
Unless I make conscious effort to generate positive thought, it will generate negative or
destructive thought.
The most rapid and positive changes in our personality and our life come from the way we
change our thinking about our possibilities and ourselves. Ultimately I came to the
conclusion:
No one can destroy me but my own thoughts destroy me
Thought x Knowledge x Action = ATTITUDE=Result
If I have positive thought of taking responsibility, I will take positive actions. It leads to
positive ATTITUDE and positive Result
We all have played all the above roles and now also we are playing. Sometime I played the role
of a victim by blaming someone for whatever happened to me or sometime I justified my
failure. And I have taken responsibility also. What I am today is result of the responsibility I
have taken in my life.
Now let me ask you a question. Your father has taken a loan of Rs.5 lakhs from the bank but he
has paid only Rs.1.50 lakhs before his accidental death. Will you pay the rest of the money if
bank asks you to pay? Touch your heart and tell the truth.
Most of us will say “Why should I pay, go and ask my father? I was never informed” and so and
so…
I Realization 20
Let's take another situation. There is a land of worth Rs.15 lakhs which your father
purchased and which is under his name. You came to know about it after his death. Will you
go and claim the land or let it go?
Most of us will go and claim the land. Think about it, how we are?
We are willing to enjoy our ancestral property but not willing to take responsibility for their
mistake.
Rate yourself how often
you are blaming
someone, how often you
are justifying your failure
and how often you are
taking responsibility.
Then set a target for
three months where you
want to be. What
percentages of responsi-
bility you want take in
the next three months?
Your target will be to get
to 100% in this lifetime.
Everything is a consequence of my thoughts. All states of happiness or misery are the result
of my own thoughts. Thought determines destiny, I create my own character and
circumstances by the manner of my own thinking. A happier tomorrow is built only
when I live a committed life today.
Almost all illnesses are caused by thoughts and most doctors treat the symptom not the
cause. If you want to be cured fully you must treat your body, mind and soul.
From today you have to change your thoughts to 'What can I do out of this situation,
circumstances or of this person to get the desired result'?
Please make a list of 'What I cannot do & What can I do out of this situation'
What I cannot do out of this situation What can I do out of this situation
1 1
2 2
3 3
I Realization 21
In case of suicide who kills whom?

Body and mind are two different entities. It's the mind which controls the body. I have to act on
my mind. I have to visualise in my mind what are the end results I want to achieve. What I am
going to get out of this action?
I may not like to get up early morning or exercise or meditate or study.
But if I can remember and visualise the benefit of getting up early morning or the benefit of
exercise and meditation or study; and tell my mind “I will get up early in the morning/ I will
exercise for my health and fitness/ I will eat bitter guard for my health/ I will meditate for my
peace of mind/ I will study to do well in my life.” I will change my actions as my thoughts
become stronger and stronger, and convert into belief.
Do you want to control yourself or you want to be controlled by others and your 'body' and your
'mind'?
Sometime people say 'I hate myself”. What does that mean? That means, 'I' and 'myself' are two
different entities. 'I' is what I wanted to be and 'self' is what I am right now.
“I want to or I feel like committing suicide.”
You want to kill or destroy someone whom you don't like. But you got the power to act on him.
You can have total control on you if you want. But all these years your other 'self' has controlled
you. So it will take some time to take the handover of power, that is taking control of yourself.
You can start working on it from right now; there is no tomorrow or next time. Let's take
conscious effort and conscious decision to take responsibility of our life.
(After committing suicide will you be relieved? You will have to take another birth and in that
birth also will you be able to control yourself?)
The mind I am carrying is not from this birth only, but from many previous births. The
characteristics I am having are not the result of this birth only, but the result of many
previous births. To understand this concept, let's take the example of a seed. A seed carries its
characteristics from previous tree. Now wherever this seed will be grown, the growth will be on
the basis of the environment i.e. the soil, sunlight, humidity, water, air and on the inherent
characteristics it will be carrying from previous birth.
In the same way my growth depends on the characteristics I am carrying, not only from this
birth, but from previous birth and the environment I am brought up, such as my parents, my
academic background, culture and friend circle.
I Realization 22
Animals and plants cannot change their environment, but human being can change their
environment and even create their environment. Human being can change their destiny
by changing their environment and action. Therefore the result in my life depends 20%
on the environment I am born and my previous births, and 80% what I do in this life
(We will discuss on this subject in more detail during training session)
"I can't live with my self".
Let's analyse the above statement once again in more detail:
I can't live with myself. I want to commit suicide. What does that mean 'I' can't
live with this 'body' and this 'mind'. That means 'I', 'body' and 'mind' are three
separate entities.
'I' is the mind(the sum total of your past conditioned thoughts & knowledge)
'My' is your inner conscience(soul)
'Self' is your physical body made up of blood, flesh and bones.
Identification with the mind gives rise to the ego; which is a false self. Identification
with the mind cause thought to be compulsive. Compulsive thinking has become a
disease. It makes us to live in the past or future, not in present. We are all suffering
from it, so it is considered to be normal. We don't know that we became slaves of our
minds.
The beginning of freedom starts the moment I start to realise that I am suppose to observe
my thoughts. The inner consciousness is activated and from this moment I can observe my
mind.
Once I realise that I got the power to choose. A high degree of consciousness arises in me.
My thoughts, actions, communication and results start to change for betterment.
Success Action Exercise: 1
*Daily writing for 3 times a day (Morning, afternoon & before sleeping).
I am observant of my thoughts, words I use in communication with self and others,

and the actions I take in every situation and circumstances.
I align my thoughts, words and actions towards my financial goals of Rs.... by date
I Realization 23
Time Management is Life Management

I realized to be successful the most important asset to be utilised in anyone's life is Time and
practise of core values such a Responsibility, Commitment, Trustworthy, Forgiveness and
Gratitude.
What I am today is due to the actions I have taken in the past and the actions I will take today
will define my tomorrows. I can cheat others but I can't cheat self.
“It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy”
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
Every morning my purse is magically filled with 24 hrs of

time. I can compare time with a plain bar of iron, which, say is
worth Rs. 100. Now I can convert this iron bar into nails that
may get me Rs. 1,000 or the same bar of iron can be turned
into balancing springs for watches, which can get me Rs. 1
lakh. The same is true with time. Only a few have learned to
turn a golden hour into true-tempered watch springs.
I realized I need to prioritize where I should invest my time. If I
invest time on film stars, cricketers and other celebrities, they make
money out of me. Once I decide to invest time on self to be
successful, I will come across hurdles and difficulties. These hurdles
are mostly created by my near and dear ones; unknowingly they will
place obstacles in my path to success. They will not support me to
keep my commitments and be punctual. They will encourage me to
procrastinate and expect more of my time, and if I don't give them my precious time they will
accuse me of betrayal.
I can manage my time by forming the habit of acting on my priorities. What is important for
me may not be important to another person; let it be my mother, father, brother, sister,
friend, boss or subordinates. It's important to understand my priority, my inspiration and
my goal in life. In this world no one gets more than 24 hours a day. If I use that time for my
own development; then others are deprived of that time. To keep my commitment with self,
I will be accused of betrayal by others, as they are not getting the time which they used to get
in the past.
I Realization 24
The relationship with myself is the most important; as I will be with myself all the time. My
self esteem goes down every time I am apologetic about my delays.
Others will leave me when their interest is over or if I am not fulfilling their expectations. I
should ask my conscience and my soul to follow the path that is right for me. I need to check
my commitment list which I had committed earlier, and then take up the next assignment. If
I over commit; I won't be able to keep my commitment to others as well as to my own self. It
will bring down my self-esteem, self-respect and raise my stress level.
Success Action Exercise: 2
1. When was the last time you were late to your office or appointment and what was
the reason?
2. How do you rate your time management (punctuality)?
3. How much time do you invest in reading newspaper and watching TV?
4. How much time do you invest in your physical fitness?
5. How much time do you invest in meditation?
6. How much time do you invest to upgrade yourself in your field of interest?
7. What are the steps you are going to take to improve your time management?
8. Where do you see yourself in time management in the next 30 days?
9. What are the habits you are going to give up to improve your time management?
I Realization 25
My 24hrs. Activities
There are so many technique and procedure in time management. To manage my time I must
analyze my time investment. I realised the best way to analyze my time investment is by writing
my 24 hours activities. Most people will plan their day but rarely the plan is followed. Then they
give up planning and time management activities.
Everyday writing my 24 hours daily activities give me a clear picture where I am investing my 24
hours. As if I am seeing myself in the mirror. Now I can prioritise, which are necessary and
which are unnecessary. I can make the changes according to my requirement. No one could
change me; but this system has changed me. If I am spending my time in the areas which are
not important to me, I give my best effort to make those changes; as if I am hammering myself
everyday by writing my 24hrs daily activities.
If anyone can write his daily activities in detail for 30 days, there will be drastic improvement in
him. If you can seriously carry on the exercise for 90 days, you will transform your life, that's the
assurance from my side.
I Realization 26
Business Etiquette
We are living in a society where I have only fifteen seconds to make an impression. Etiquette,
manners and personal grooming are increasingly playing an important role to open the right
doors for me. Successful Business relationships rely more than ever on personal contact.
Courtesy and politeness are necessary in all our business and personal relationships.
Whenever I meet with clients, the way I conduct myself; I present an image of self and the
company I represent. My poise and professionalism affect all my business and social
relationships. My ability to relate positively and professionally to my colleagues and
associates places me in the forefront.
Business etiquette is the art of knowing how to behave in a given situation and knowing
how to interact with people, how is more important than what. Etiquette is the guideline
for knowing how to behave appropriately in all situations. Good manners make good
business. They are not optional; they are essential tools I must use every day.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT
The First 12 Words you speak should include some form of thanks if appropriate. When
meeting someone for the first time, express your gratitude. Examples: Thank you for
scheduling this meeting (or) it is a pleasure meeting you (or) I appreciate the time you have
taken to arrange for us to meet.
The First 12 Steps you take should be those of confidence. Whether you're walking from the
parking lot to an office building or down a hall corridor, walk with a purpose. People who
walk 10% faster than they normally do are perceived as getting more done. So quicken your
pace!
The First 12 Inches from your head down should feature impeccable grooming. Your hair,
collar, tie/scarf and other accessories should be a reflection of the quality person you are.
The Last 12 Inches from the floor to mid-calf should be very well maintained. That includes
shoes that are polished and look like new, even if they're not. There is a saying “Want to
know if a person is well dressed? Look down”.
Your dressing gives the first impression of seriousness in your business. You give
casual approach to your business with casual dressing.
I realised developing effective communication is the vital stage in climbing the ladder of
success. Wherever I go in this world, I don't carry my house or car or assets; I carry myself.
The first impression is created from the appearance and second impression is from what
comes out from my mouth, again it's not what comes out from my mouth but how it comes
out is very important. Whatever comes out from my mouth can't be taken back. Therefore I
must take utmost care while I am communicating to be an effective and successful
communicator. I realized public speaking is a common source of stress for everyone, but the
best way to develop oneself.
I Realization 27
Stand up.
Smile.
Always shake hands or welcome with bolded hands.
Make eye contact.
Repeat the other person's name
I Realization 28
The master key to your growth is awareness about self

We study everything but we don't study about ourselves. To understand self in a better way, I
have divided our life into 6 areas or domains. They are performance in business/ career,
Health, Emotion, Finance, Relationships and Core Values.
Life Map
Excercise
Rating: According to your perception about yourself

10 - Totally satisfied with your performance and there is no room for improvement
9 – Outstanding: You feel your performance is outstanding according to you
8 – Excellent: You feel your performance is excellent according to your perception
7 – Very Good: You feel your performance is very good according to you
6 – Good: You feel your performance is good only
5 – Average/ OK: You feel your performance is average
4 – Below Average: You feel your performance is below average
I realized the more I know self, the more I know others and can deal with self and others
in a better way.
I Realization 29
If I am truly committed to improve in my life, then I must focus on my core values. Core values
are the roots and others like career, finance, relationship; emotion and health are the fruits.
If I don't keep my commitment, then I will lose my relationship with self and others. Some
relations are important to me, if I lose those relations I will be emotionally down. It's going to
have impact on my health. If I am not healthy physically and mentally, I will not be able to
perform well at work. In turn it's going to affect my income and finance.
Core Values are like the roots of a tree and foundation of a building. The stronger and deeper
are the roots of the tree, higher the tree can grow with stability. The tree can face any kind of
challenges like storm, flood & Cyclone. It will not be uprooted. The stronger the foundation of
your building more storeys you can add on the top, otherwise the building will collapse.
Leadership is all about maintaining core values such as commitment, responsibility,
trustworthy, punctuality, forgiveness and gratitude.
I Realization 30
We all are suffering from psychosomatic illness?

Psycho mean 'mind' and 'soma' means 'body'. The illness I am facing now mostly came from
mind due to suppressed emotions such as anxiety, fear, conflict, resentment and tension.
Research shows that chronic emotional tension causes symptoms such as headache, arthritis,
hypertension including cancer. The other disorders are dyspepsia, colitis, ulcers and insomnia.
Doctors treat the symptom, not the cause. The main cause of our illness is when our immune
system goes down. Our immune system goes down for two main factors. They are lack of
nutrient and emotional imbalance. The people who are working in the corporate are having
enough money to feed themselves. Therefore nutrient is not the main cause of illness but the
emotions.
When we don't accept the present- regrets, anxieties, worries keep replaying unpleasant
scenarios in our minds which create neuromuscular tensions. Nearly all of us carry some degree
of chronic tension, which rises and falls in the course of everyday life. Unexpressed emotion
leads us to physical stiffness and fatigue resulting in headaches, neck aches, sore lower back,
chronic fatigue, muscle ache, back pain and reduces flexibility.
In the corporate world it is as if the language is invented to
deceive someone. I can cheat the whole world but not self. The
body reacts to my inner voice, conscience only. We say
something outside but inner voice speaks something different.
Whenever we are working against our emotion or inner
conscience to gain something in physical level, we start forming
knots in our body. But we are not able to recognise as our mind
is diverted outward.
As our mind is diverted outward, we have lost the ability to sense the reaction happening within
us each and every moment. We only recognise it when it comes out in the form of disease or
pain.
Immune system is the resistance power to fight disease. To understand about immune
system, let's assume that one of your colleagues is suffering from chicken pox and you all
went to see him. Will all get affected with chicken pox? May be one or two persons! Why not
all of you? Others have stronger immune system.
Life is a journey from birth to death; I get opportunities to play different games at different
times. When I accept role whatever comes during my life journey, I start to enjoy.
If I resist, I suffer.
I Realization 31
Success Action Exercise 3

1. Out of six areas, choose any three most important areas that you would like to improve in
your life right now? (Note that they don't need to be the lowest rankings)
2. You have done the rating. These numbering does not make any sense to me. Describe in
words what these number represents to you in those areas? What is the key emotion related to
your current situation?
Area 1: Career/Business
Now 0- 10
Description:
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
Emotion
__________________________________________________________
Sample: [6] I am working as sales manager. I got 15 executives under me. I am looking after
three regions with a client base of 300. I am able to manage my executives and my clients. But
there is more room for improvement.
Emotion: I am ok with my performance, but I feel I can do much better.
Area 2: Health
Now 0- 10
Description:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Emotion:
___________________________________________________________
Sample: [7] I am having a good health. Blood sugar is normal but I got a pot belly. My
weight is 72 and height 5'6?. I get tired soon
Emotion: I want to reduce my weight and increase my energy level.
I Realization 32
Area 3: Relationship
Now 0- 10
Description:
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
Emotion :
__________________________________________________________
GOAL 0- 10
Sample: [6] My relationship with most of the people is Ok. I don't get along with some
people. Some of the relationship I am not able to maintain. I feel shy to approach. Not
very confident of myself
Emotion: I want to improve my interpersonal relationship. Sometimes I get angry and
frustrated with people's behaviour.
Q. Where is God?
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
NB: We don't carry anything to our next birth except our spiritual values; neither can we
carry assets like house, car, properties, country, nationality nor our children, parents, wife,
relatives and friends. Even we don't carry our beliefs and faiths. As I am born in a Hindu
family I have develop beliefs and faiths in Hinduism and if I would have born in an Islam
family or any other I would have developed beliefs and faiths in rites and rituals of that
community. There is every possibility that my next birth can be in different community than
what I have been born in this life. If I am accumulating wealth for my children and if I have
not imparted right values, there is every possibility that my children will use the wealth for
wrong deeds. In short, we don't carry anything when we die except our deed
I Realization 33
How much is your value?

If anyone asks you, “How much is your value?” What will be your response? On the basis of
what will you determine your value?
What are the ingredients or qualities will you consider to determine your value?
A person's value will be determined on the basis of core values he maintains and the skills he
possesses. More than the skills, the core values a person practises determine his position
in our society. Core Values are like the roots of a tree and foundation of a building.
There can be many core values. The essential core values which I have experienced to maintain
long-term successful relationships are commitment, responsibility, trustworthiness,
kindness, punctuality, persistence, integrity, gratitude and forgiveness. No relationship
can sustain in the long run unless we practise these values. My success and happiness come
from committed relationship with self and others. Values can't be taught; they are imbibed
and inherited from our parents. It is my responsibility and duty to impart core values to
our children
I Realization 34
Core values are also called Spiritual Asset. In western world core values are known as SQ. To
recruit top management position most importance is given to SQ or core values of the
individuals whoever applies for the post. The top management position holder is already
having IQ and EQ otherwise he will not be in that position. But if he is not having SQ, he will
siphon the company fund to his personal account.
I Realization 35
Employee – Employer Relationship

There is a saying “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your
happiness or misery.” The same thing is applicable in terms of the relationship between
employee and employer to determine happiness or misery in our life. It's that vital to have a
cordial relationship in between employee and employer. Out of the 24 hours of our day we
spend 6 to 8 hours in sleeping and 2 to 3 hours in travelling, so left with approximately 14 hours
time when we are awake and our brain is functioning fully. How much time do you spend at the
work place? You must be spending 8 to 12 hours at your work place. How much time do you
spend with your family or friends? So major time of your life is spent at work place, therefore if
you don't enjoy the company of your colleagues while at work, your life is going to be miserable.
To determine
someone's
character you need
to find out his
values, which he
practises in day to
day life. Initially a
person will project
his nice picture but
ugly part is
concealed. It takes
minimum 90 days
to know a person
well.
When we meet a
person for the first
time, he will try to
project his best
part. He will put on
his best dress; he
will show his best
part of his
personality. He will
be at his best to
emotionally
support you.
He will try to be nice with all the promises and commitment. Will he keep his promises and
commitment, only time can tell? Therefore our elders made it a mandatory to keep a 3
months(90 days) gap in between engagement and marriage, but we rarely follow the ritual and
end up with all the troubles in the long run and resulting into divorces.
I Realization 36
Matching of our values is the most important part to live together, especially core values. Core
values give the character of a person.
The same thing is also applicable to make friendship. Sometime we end up with trouble by
bringing colleagues to our house without knowing his character. You introduce your
colleagues to your life partner without knowing his character, but later on you blame your
spouse for the wrong deeds. I suggest not to bring a stranger inside your house unless you know
the character of the person. You can treat him outside in coffee shops or restaurants.
The two main components to build any kind of strong and happy relationships are trust and
contribution from both sides; let it be husband–wife relationship, employee-employer
relationship or friendships. When one of the components is missing the relationship breaks
down. In the case of employee-employer relationship, marriage takes place with the
recruitment. The employee promises to contribute his time, energy, knowledge and skills for
the employer, the employer trusts the candidate (employee) and promises to contribute salary
or package.
As long as both trust each other and are satisfied with contributions from both sides a healthy
relationship exists. But over a period of time the expectation from each side keep increasing and
as either of them are not happy with the contributions, the doubt prevails and the whole
environment changes from sweet relationship to a sour relationship. We forget our core values
such as commitment, integrity, and forgiveness and invite our own misery.
I Realization 37
Maintaining core values from both sides is essential to sustain long-term relationship.
Employer must fulfil the promises given to employee while recruiting; otherwise the employee
will look for alternatives.
Why there is probation period?
A person is recruited on the basis of his/her personality and knowledge about the task to be
performed. We can't determine the character of a person in short period of interaction.
Therefore all the companies have got a probation period to identify the character and
suitability for the position the person has been recruited. Personality can be faked for a short
period of time but the true character is bound to come out in long run. In the beginning the
employee promises to do whatever it takes to improve the organization. The probation period
is to determine if the person is suitable for the position the organization has recruited for before
placing him in permanent category for long-term association. If the values and skills are not
matching, employer can terminate the agreement at any period without any prior notice.
Our values form our character and values can't be taught, they are imbibed and inherited.
This also determines one's attitude. To build a long-term relationship values play a vital role.
Employee-employer relationship starts with the recruitment. During recruitment
importance is given to personality but after recruitment importance is on the character.
There are organisational values and there are personal values. You should not get
confused. You play different roles in different time. If you are confused ask yourself, “What role
am I playing now?”
Values form the character of an individual and form the basis of why we believe the things that
we do. The most common reason why people have disagreements is because they have
differences in values. One of the main reasons of attrition is due to mismatch of personal and
organizational values. The environments in which you have been brought up play a vital role in
the creation of our values such as our parents, friends circle and educational institutes where we
have studied etc.
We give top most importance to physical asset to enjoy the materialistic luxury. All are
struggling hard to acquire these materialistic asset and as we spend most of our time to acquire
them. In most cases we are left with little time to enjoy them. As we form the pattern of
acquiring more and more physical assets, we forget when is the time to stop? If we can put a
limit to acquiring physical assets we can be happy. One of the most stable forms of physical
assets is land and property. Some of us got addicted to acquire more and more land. They boast
themselves, “I have so many acres of land and I am owner of so many buildings.” If we can
understand that:
“Land does not belong to me, I belong to the land”.
(This body will go back to the land after my death.)
I Realization 38
The craze for acquiring more and more land will not be there. Yes, as we live in the society,
where we need to have our own space for our privacy. For your privacy, comfort and security
how much land and assets you need, think about it. If you say you are acquiring asset for your
children, then you are depriving them of the opportunity to go through the challenges of life.
You are not giving them the opportunity to stand on their own feet. They may not be able to
withstand the storm of life.
Money is essential to live in our society. We can buy our basic needs such as food, clothing,
shelter, education and luxury. But money cannot buy happiness. In one telephone survey,
275 people in the San Francisco Bay area were asked if they believed that they would be
significantly happier if they had a million dollars. Seventy-six percent of the respondents
replied, “Yes Absolutely.” Then the research company contacted ten millionaires and asked
them, “Did making your first million dollars make you a happier person?” The response was
unanimous: “No.”
The people who ever achieved extraordinary results in their life took defeats,
momentary failures and depression in their stride, never lost courage or
compromised with their values. Each and every one of us possesses extraordinary
capabilities and immense potential. But can you sustain your core values or give up to
the immediate pressure?
Success achieved without core values is short lived. People who ever achieved success
without maintaining core values are bound to fall today or tomorrow.
The ultimate leadership is all about maintaining core values such as commitment,
responsibility, trustworthy, punctuality, persistence, integrity, gratitude and forgiveness.
Values form the basis of why we believe the things that we do. The most common reason
why people have disagreements is because they have different values in life. A good
understanding of our own top personal values and an understanding that others have
different values prepare us for better communications and tolerance. Most wars are fought
over differences in values.
Spirituality is not religion. Religion is a community, believes and practices certain common
rites and rituals. You are a spiritual person if you believe the whole world is one family and all
your decisions are based on that. You can't be partial to anyone. As spirit can see and listen
everything from the top, what is the ultimate truth? In the age of satellite, internet and
mobile phones everything is exposed to the world immediately. We can no longer be of two
standards. Once you see the whole world as one family, your every decision will be based on
equality.
I Realization 39
Individuals are suffering as they are not following core values. Companies are collapsing as
they are not following core values. In the same way nations are also suffering for not
following core values.
Countries like USA are talking about peace and trading in arms & ammunition for financial
gain. When I am selling arms and ammunition, I am selling violence and one day the same
people will take the path of violence against me, if anything goes against their own interest.
Arms & ammuation its for self defence.
Pakistan has been supporting the path of violence and now the same people are destroying
their own nation.
Today's terrorism started in Indian sub-continent due to two leaders who wanted to rule us
in the name of religion and we got divided; like two brothers got separated in the name of
East Pakistan (Bangladesh) and West Pakistan (Pakistan) from mother India. Many
innocent lives were lost.
These are the outcome of the decisions of the leaders who lacks long- term vision to gain
short-term result of retaining their political power. I have discussed in detail the 'Long-term
solution to terrorism' in another book.
Now also some of the political leaders are dividing Indians in the name of caste, creed,
religions, language and regions to gain their political dream. They are ruining Indian
Economy in the name of strikes and other forms of violence. I feel they are our worst
terrorists.
Leadership is all about decision making and communicating your decision to your
subordinates and superiors. As a leader you need to communicate your ideas to subordinate
to delegate the task to be carried out by your subordinates. We take decision on the basis of
our thoughts, values, beliefs, perception and awareness. To take a better decision we should
have better awareness. Again it's not what you communicate but how you communicate
your decisions or ideas that makes you a better leader. Leadership is all about maintaining
core values such as commitment, responsibility, trustworthy, determination, persistence,
integrity, gratitude and forgiveness. Leadership is not in possessing but acting or
implementing. Leadership needs creativity to lead people. Leadership is all about taking
responsibility and leading from the front by setting examples and putting into practice
rather than giving big lectures. When you take responsibility of your every action, you
become creator and leader.
I Realization 40
“People who share a common direction and sense of community can better get where they are
going, more quickly and easily because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.”
- Milton Olsen
It may be shocking revelation to you that though we give too much importance to physical
appearance during any kind of relationship building process but in the long run it accounts
for only 1% out of all the four matching. It is never a love at first sight; it is always lust at first
sight. Initially we are attracted to the physical appearance but matching the character helps
to last the relationship. Physical appearance plays a crucial role in the beginning to bring
people closer. This is even true in our relationship with non-living objects.
In our society marriage is the longest relationship. If we consider four matching: Physical
appearance, Intellectual, Emotional and Values (Character) as 100%. To have an ideal
marriage relationship the importance of four matching are as follows:
Physical appearance Link - 1%
Intellectual Link - 3%
Emotional Link - 6%
Values (character) Link - 90%.
First three are the part of our Personality and last one forms our character.
Therefore the age old wisdom says,
“Wealth has gone nothing has gone,

Health has gone something has gone,
Character has gone everything has gone.”
NB: You may find some ideas are repeated again and again. It is very difficult to understand
and imbibe these ideas and values immediately. After repeated reminder to our mind some
ideas and values will sip into our mind and we will start implementing in our day to day life to
make the world a better place to live for ourselves and others.
I Realization 41
Success Action Exercise - 4
MISSION STATEMENT
Personal Mission Statement: This statement of purpose is a reflection of who you are,
what you believe, your values, and what you strive for in life. Combined with the work you
have done on your values, the following questions will help you uncover a framework for
writing your Personal Mission Statement. Answer each question in 1 or 2 words.
1. What is my life about?

2. What do I value?
3. What do I treasure?
4. What is really important?
5. What do I do in my life that is worthwhile?
6. How do I want to be remembered?

The Purpose of My life is to Experience _______________________________
And my Mission to Accomplish this through :___________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________
NB: Your top values start to give you an indication to your Purpose in Life.
I Realization 42
Emotion is energy in motion:

Thoughts are powerful vibration. Emotions are the result of my thoughts in
my mind. If I have positive thoughts in my mind, I will release positive
Emotions and it will emit positive vibrations. I will attract positive people and
situations in my life.
I Realization 43
Stress Management Technique:

Mind is the root cause of all the suffering. 'Suffering is mental, pain is physical.' How my mind
perceive each and every incident, on the basis of that my body reacts. In everyday life pain is
inevitable, but suffering is optional - a by-product of poor choice. I want to change the other
person. Things don't change; I changed my way of understanding. As I changed my perception
everything changed for me. I subconsciously train other people how I want to be treated
through my actions, tone of voice and behaviour. I create my own image.
We feed our body regularly to sustain the daily challenges and we need to feed our mind to face
the new challenges. In the corporate world as if the language is invented to deceive someone;
I can cheat the whole world but I cannot cheat self. According to Buddha's discovery the body
reacts on the basis of our inner conscience. Whenever we do something against our inner
conscience to gain something in physical level or emotional level, we start forming knots
(deformities) in our body which we are not able to recognize as our mind is always diverted
outward. As our mind is diverted outward we have lost the ability to sense the reaction
happening each and every moment. We only recognize that when it comes out in the form of
disease or pain. This kind of disorders are called psychosomatic illness, “psyche' means
mind(emotions) and 'soma' means body, The research shows that currently 90% of the
patients admitted in corporate hospitals are suffering from psychosomatic health disorders.
There are positive emotions and negative
Success & Happyness

emotions. Negative emotions destroy us.
Outcome
Anger, frustration, revenge, jealousy,

unease and anxiety are some of the negative
emotions. All the negativity is caused by an
accumulation of psychological time and
denial of the present. Anger comes by birth,
it's an instinct. Most of the people exploit
them for their own benefit, specially film
makers and politicians but in the long run
anger eats them.
As I pass on the same values to my children,
children imbibe the same qualities. One
day they apply the same anger on me if
anything goes against their interest.
There can be several methods to clean our mind. I have experienced two methods extremely
helpful to clean our mind: Forgiveness & Gratitude Writing.
I Realization 44
Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do in life. It can also be one of the most
liberating as our energy returns to us and the person we are forgiving no longer holds power
over us. Forgiveness & Gratitude come under supreme core values. If I can practise
forgiveness I become supreme selfish. I don't allow anyone to disturb my peace and
happiness, and I don't give any opportunity to develop psychosomatic illness in me.
Mistakes happen with every one of us but if I carry that person in my mind I get affected and
can't focus on the task to be carried out. One of the main reasons why we are not able to live in
the present moment and not able to enjoy the present is that we are not able to forgive ourselves
and others. Mistake may happen with me also. Therefore I need to forgive myself also. If I can't
forgive other, and myself, my mind gets preoccupied with those people who have hurt me. I will
get stressed.
If you are living in a society, mistake may happen with your spouse, parents, children, friends
and neighbours. If you can't forgive them, then every time you see them, read their name, hear
their name or any thought comes in your mind about them, you get disturbed and not able to
focus on the task to be carried out at that moment. You are harming yourself. The control
switch of your happiness is outside, not within you. Same way, your office is your main family in
your professional life as you spend most of your awakening time at workplace. Mistake may
happen with your superiors, colleagues, subordinates and customers. If you can't forgive them,
you get disturbed and not able to focus on the task to be carried out and it will affect your
performance.
The people who hurt you are ignorant of your good intention about them; they lose a good
person like you. You may feel pity on them. No one does mistake consciously. Either they are
ignorant or their ego makes them to commit mistakes. If you can practise forgiveness you will
be free of tension, your mind will be clean, and you will lead a happy life. Practising forgiveness
shows that you give importance to yourself. Forgiveness does not mean that you will have to
go and embrace the person or tell him that you have forgiven him. You need to do it in your
mind and you can write in a piece of paper and throw it.
Below are examples on how to write forgiveness:

I,...my name…forgive myself for all the mistakes I did because I was ignorant and unconscious
of the consequence of my actions.
I forgive …(Name of the person)..for all the wrong/ misdeeds done to me because he was
ignorant of the consequence of his actions.
This exercise to be carried out if anyone has hurt you.
I Realization 45
Gratitude Writing:
The other exercise to be carried out regularly is gratitude writing. We struggle hard to get a
good job, but after few years we forget about that. Instead of expressing our gratitude
towards our employer, we start abusing our employer. The nature has got a way to give us
what we desire but the nature has also got a way to take away from our life if we don't show
gratitude for what we have got. The research shows the people who write their gratitude
journal are happier, positive, and enthusiastic and live in the present rather than in the past
or future. They have better sleep and relationship with everyone. They perform very well in
life. Express your gratitude to those people who behaved nicely with you and helped you in
any form to make your life for betterment. It will help you to remind good experiences and
remain you in positive mental state.
“The Success Action that I'd like you to do is to maintain a Gratitude notebook. The idea is
to write 5 things that you have in life. It helps you to get more of the things that you want, and
it gives you a different attitude.”
Gratitude writing example:
I am grateful to Mr.XYZ for sharing knowledge with me.
I am thankful to Mr.YXZ for closing the deal today.
I am grateful to Mr.XYZ for helping me to reach in time.
I am grateful to bus driver for safe driving.
I am grateful to the film director for making such a good movie (If you have watched a movie
and felt good)
Meditation or breathing exercise is another exercise that must be included to clean your
mind.
If you can practise the above wisdoms you will be a happy and successful professional.
Change is the only thing that is constant. If we can cope up with the changes we will be
alright. When computer gets affected with virus or gets corrupted, we install antivirus
software to get it rectified. Same way to enhance the human computer performance and
align with organisational values and goals we need to install the right software into the
human computers. Cleaning our mind is cleaning our human software to enhance
performance.
I Realization 46
Some of the reasons why a Manager gets stressed are:

The job delegated to the subordinate is not completed in time and the productivity is not up to
the expectation. In most cases we blame the subordinates. One of the main reasons for not
getting the desired result is the lack of people skill or dealing with the emotions.
If you don't have good relationship with the people with whom you want to keep, you will not
feel good and you may go under mental depression. If I don't have good relationship with my
wife, the main reason may be the way I communicate, she does not like. Same reason applies to
all other people also, let it be subordinate, boss, children and friends.
People say that they are getting stressed due to work pressure. Tell me how the statement is
justifiable? Stress is mental. If you work more you will get tired, that is physical. But stress is
mental. If you are playing a game and if you put 100% of your effort in the game, you will get
tired and you get a nice sleep at the end of the day. If you can handle any kind of situation and
any person you will start enjoying.
In a nutshell reasons for stress are:

1. Expectation: Expect least from others, do whatever you can do from your side
2. Competing with someone: Compete with yourself
3. Not accepting the present moment: Living in the past or future
4. Not able to deal with own emotion and other's emotion
5. Not having enough knowledge of human psychology ( Self & others )
6. Not able to keep up with timings and commitments
7. Lack of physical exercise: Include physical exercise: Yoga, Jogging, Walking....
8. Not showing gratitude to others ( Ego)
9. Not able to forgive self & others
If you can deal with and overcome the above factors you can lead a happy and peaceful life.
Steps to manage your stress:
Practise forgiveness whenever such situation arises.
Complete gratitude notebook everyday
Be more observant than reactive
Practise Mediation for minimum 15 minutes daily
Practise Physical Exercise for minimum 15 minutes daily
I Realization 47
How big is your family?

One of the common incidents happens in everyone's life; the other person makes mistake but
to defend self shouts at you and put the blame on you. How do you handle such situation?
Suppose you are travelling in your vehicle. You are in the right lane and right direction but
suddenly another person comes from the wrong direction. He was about to hit you and shouts
at you, “You idiot, don't know how to drive.” How will you react?
You are riding your bike with your friend sitting at your back driving properly. Suddenly
another person comes from the wrong direction in his bike and he was about to hit you. He
shouts at you, “You idiot, don't know how to drive.” What will you do? Will you shout back with
same kind of wording?
If you don't react, your friend may say, “Are you really idiot?” To prove you are not idiot, you
replied and turned into altercation. The altercation turned into physical fight and both landed
in hospital. Will you be able to accomplish your mission if you react in such small provocation?
My question, “If dog barks at you do you, bark back?” Why not? Because you know the dog is
ignorant. Same way you will come across dogs and snakes around you in everyday life to
provoke. Why are you barking at them? If you are barking back, then you also come to their
level. You are reading this manual to come above that level. As mentioned in preface, Fire of
knowledge i.e. awareness can take away your suffering.
When the same dog comes to bite you what you do? You hit back. In the same way if any human
dog comes to bite you, you also hit back. “If you want peace, be ready for war”.
As mentioned before, we developed

ego unconsciously and this
unconscious living creating problem
for us. Since childhood we have been
taught to win by hook or by crook.
Most of the time we take the crook
path to win; the ego stops us to bow
down our head in spite of our
mistakes.
When you know the other person is ignorant of his mistake, then why are you making the same
mistake? Fighting is never a solution, imparting the right knowledge and the awareness is the
solution.
I Realization 48
If you can fulfil his ego for

that moment, you can make
a long-term relationship
with him. Later on you get
an opportunity to rectify
his mistake.
Let's take the same incident. The other person said, “You idiot, don't know how to drive.” And
you replied, “Sorry”. Will he come to hit you? In 99.99 cases he will go away and you can also
reach your destination in time, because his ego is fulfilled. In that circumstance people around
you including your friend may criticise you saying, “You are a fool.” Regarding this criticism I
have discussed in detail in the topic, 'Deal with criticism'. 'Deal with criticism' is a very
important step in the path of ultimate success.
Let's go back to the above example where you fought with the other person in that day. After
three month of the incident one night your brother met with an accident at 11pm. You have
been informed to come and pick him up. To pick up your brother you have to pass through
certain areas which are not safe during night and people are advised to avoid that area during
night or move in a group. You didn't have alternative and you were travelling alone in your bike
at 11:15 pm to pick up your brother. In the same route and towards the same direction, the
same person was travelling along with four friends and he could recognise that you are the same
person who broke his 5 bones. That day as you were two persons you broke his five bones. How
many bones of your would they break now?
Let's take the second incident, where you said, “Sorry”. What would he do to you now? He
would also reciprocate the same gesture. His ego would dissolve and his conscience will come
up, “That day I abused you and you said sorry. I am extremely sorry for that day. By the way,
why are you here at this time? It's not a safe place to travel.” You said, “My brother met with an
accident and I am going to pick him up.” He would say, “He is not only your brother, but our
brother. We all will come to pick him up.”
The question is, “How big is your family?” We keep on creating enemies unconsciously with
the influence of movies and TV programmes. I feel the movies, which promote violence and
sexual desires should be taxed heavily to discourage them. Taxpayers pay a heavy price to stop
violence and rapes in the society. Movies and such programmes are polluting our mind. Root
cause of all problems in this world is mind. Toxic mind is causing turmoil in the family,
organisation, society, country, community and in self.
I Realization 49
Drama Triangle:
RESCUER / HERO
VICTIM VILLAIN
Everyday life as you step into path of your destination you will face challenges and
opportunities. Many times you will go beyond your capabilities to help others and you will
become victim or villain. Every situation and circumstances will take test of you. How
committed are you with the present role you are suppose to play?
Suppose you got a new job and this job is very important for you to support your family
financially. As you were on the way to your office in the morning 8:30am you saw a car hit a
bicycle rider. The person fell down and bleeding. You took him to hospital; hospital
management asked you to file a FIR. You went to police station and registered a FIR. You
informed your office that a person met with an accident and you brought him to the hospital.
Hospital management asked for a FIR. Again police asked you to come to court to be witness
as you have seen the car and noted down the car number. Again you informed your office
that you are going to court as a witness. Next day boss called you and said 'Thank you for
your service, please carry on with your social service. We don't need any more of your
service in this company.”
I Realization 50
Car driver gave Rs.5000/- to bicycle guy and asked him to withdraw the police case, instead
of running after police station and court. The bicycle person said to you, “Who asked you to
file a police complain?” The car driver said to you, “I will see you!”
You tried to rescue someone in need and end up being victim and villain.
Who will you blame for your current position, Car Driver, Bicycle guy, Boss, almighty or self?
If you are the boss of the company, you can call the office and ask your next in command to
take care of the office activities as you will be late. Your current position does not permit you
that. God help them, those who help themselves first, and then take care of others. Your
current position does not allow you to deviate from your office work as you have not got 2nd in
command yet.
Yes, you can call 108 or 100 to inform about the accident and exact location so that the
injured person can be taken care by the authority in charge to deal with such situation. You
must focus on self till you achieve the senior position to deal with such circumstances by self.
Sometime friend asked for financial help beyond your capacity and you borrowed money
from others, expecting your friend will return the amount in time. You wanted to rescue your
friend from financial difficulties and you end up becoming a victim and villain.
I realised I must help people within my capacity.

Many times you gave away your time resource to others which was allotted for self and end
up being a victim. Can you remember such instances? Please narrate such an incident.
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________
I Realization 51
Growth in life is infinity:

Growth or improvement in life is infinity. I have to close the loop to be time bound to achieve
certain goal in a specific period of time. Most of the people say “I want to achieve so and so…”
but never specifies within what period of time.
There is timer, it's always ticking. Right now as you are reading this article the time is passing by.
After sometime it will be past. So, we do have a past and a future. The present time is very small
and we have to take action in the present or 'now' to achieve whatever we want to achieve. This
time with this date will never be back in your life. What you are today is due to the actions you
have taken in the past. Whatever action you take now will mould your future. What ever
happened- happened in NOW.
I Realization 52
Whenever we think of taking action our thought goes in past and most of thoughts are of
failures in the past. There is no failure in real life. You learned something from your past
actions. We keep on learning by taking action and our knowledge keeps on increasing.
Therefore every company asks for your past experiences to find out your level of experiential
knowledge. Otherwise we will be stuck in life. We learn in two different ways, through our
own experience or from someone's experience. All the highly successful people learned
though their own experience by putting their little knowledge into practise and taking daily
actions towards their goals. Most of them are not highly educated formally but they are self-
educated through their own experiences. Let it be Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Bill Gates,
Dhirubai Ambani to Rabindranath Tagore. Edison had only three months of formal
education; Henry Ford had less than sixth grade schooling. Neither of the above mentioned
personalities are degree holders. There is a saying “formal education will give you a job and
self-education will give you fortune”. Their life experiences are bigger than degree courses.
According to Thomas Alva Edison, “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent
perspiration” –Harper's Monthly (September 1932).
What is taught in MBA and formal management courses are the experiences from these great
people.
We can't go through all the experiences to learn as they are time consuming and painful. So it's
better to learn from others experiences. Whenever you read books and understand them
intellectually only, you think that you know everything. You secure certificates by appearing
in tests and justifying your arguments intellectually without having experiential knowledge.
You may develop ego. Ego is one of the biggest hurdles in the path of our happiness & success.
Convert your intellectual knowledge into experiential knowledge to be accepted as a genuine
person with values.
Most of us are stuck in life. We keep on worrying and delaying our decision. Tomorrow
becomes another tomorrow; our experience says “It's now or never, because tomorrow is too
late!” Therefore you have to act now. But what action will you take?
Your action will be based on your future GOAL and past experiences. Again you may be
effective at work but may not be successful unless you are following worthy goals. One of the
best definitions of success; “Success is the progressive realization of worthy goals.”
According to Dan Millman, “No matter how intelligent or talented you are, only your actions
shape your destiny. You need more than willpower to make a journey- you need a direction, a
task, a goal, a mission- you need a purpose that has meaning for you. Knowing your purpose
and acting in alignment with that purpose unleashes the full force of your will. No task is too
formidable when you divide your goals into small realistic steps and prepare well”.
I Realization 53
Now the question is, that how to write a goal?

A person may be effective but not successful if he is not doing what his conscience says;
therefore set a SMARTIES goal instead of SMART goal.
SMARTIES goal stands for:

S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Achievable
R: Realistic
T: Time Bound
I: Inspiration
E: Emotional attachment
S: Success
My goal must be specific, not 10 things at a time. Then my energy gets distorted. My mind and
energy must be focused like a laser beam.
I must be able to measure my progress. Suppose I got 10 customers and my goal is to get 25
customers; or I am average in communication and my goal is to be an excellent communicator.
It must be achievable by my. You are an ordinary graduate and if I want to be a rocket scientist in
next six months, it may not be achievable. Or I got 10 customers over a period of one year and
I want to reach 25 in the next one month, may not be achievable.
Therefore my goal must be realistic according to my capability and circumstances I must set a
time bound goal, otherwise tomorrow becomes another tomorrow. Long-term goal to be
broken down into yearly goal, monthly goals, weekly goals, daily goals and immediate goals –
the next step, right now
More than all the above points, I should have inspiration to achieve my goal. What inspires me,
I need to ask self.
I should be emotionally attached to achieve my goal That will lead me to success, which I will
enjoy.
“It doesn't interest me what you do for living. I want to know what you ache for”
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I am not interested to know what you do for your living i.e. what kind of job or profession you
are in. But I want to know what your heart pains for? What is your strong desire or urge to
achieve in life?
I Realization 54
If you want to achieve what your heart says, you can make it happen but the decision should
come from you. No one can change you unless you want to change.
“And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
to achieve your GOAL and SUCCEED in life.”
Whenever you want to achieve anything extraordinary in your life; you will have to act
differently. If you take different actions other than the traditional ones, people start labelling
you to be fool or idiot. Most of us don't want to be criticized. This fear of criticism stops them
from taking further action. People who ever achieved extraordinary achievements in their
lives, were initially labelled to be fools. Because they only could visualize their long term
vision or goal or dream. In the same way you only can see your long-term goal and purpose.
Others cannot see your long-term vision, whatever action you take in the present looks
foolish to them.
Most of the time criticism comes from near and dear ones and close friends, and relatives;
while not meaning to do so, they often criticize unconsciously. Opinions are the cheapest
commodity on the earth. Thousands of men and women carry inferiority complexes with
them, throughout their life, because some ignorant person destroyed their confidence
through opinions or ridicule.
“The most fundamental definition of personal power is having the capacity to realise one's
purpose. Personal vision is the key to unlocking its power. Vision is a picture of the future that
one wants to create. Vision is the vehicle for bringing purpose into the realm of acts and
commitments. People who do remarkable things in their lives have a clear vision stemming
from a deep and pervasive sense of purpose.”
To change the course of your life visualize positive outcomes so that you can finally develop
the confidence to act and display the courage, determination and the commitment. Don't be
a master of “If only “---If only I had more time, more money .” Life is tough. Be tougher.
It takes 90 days to form a habit. If you can focus your action for next 90 days,
definitely you will achieve your goal and it will form a habit for you.
Only writing goal is not going to realise your dream. The next step is to make a strategy and
execution of the strategy with total integrity and determination. Strategy is a bundle of
actions to be taken to achieve your goal.
I Realization 55
Success Action Exercise – 5

Now you are going to set your goal where you would like to go over the next 3 months. This
may not be 10 out of 10 as there is room for further progress after 3 months. I want you to set a
goal that follows the SMARTIES format.
Area 1: Career/Business
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Inspirational Writing: How your life will be once you achieve your career goal?
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Area 2: Health
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Inspirational Writing: How your life will be once you achieve your health goal?
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Area 3: Relationship
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Inspirational Writing: How your life will be once you achieve your relationship goal?
____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
This goal writing is to be carried out for next 30 days. Please write your goal and inspirational
writing everyday with the date mentioned in one side and other side; please write your 24
hour activities, income and expenditure for the day
I Realization 56
Four basic traits to enrich of our lives

There are four basic traits that need to be followed for enrichment of our lives. They are:
a) Patience
b) Punctuality
c) Positive Attitude &
d) Initiative
Patience is one of the important qualities essential for improvement in my life. Nothing
happens overnight. It will take time to achieve my goal. Patience to persist with will-power will
help me to achieve my objectives.
Everyone has got 24 hrs in a day. If I am not punctual, then I am not respecting other person's
time. If I don't respect others, I can't expect respect from others. I will not be able to work in a
team and I will be left behind.
Every incident has a positive side and negative aspect. How I take the learning from it depends
on my awareness and attitude.
We always like a person who takes initiative by himself to take up the task instead of waiting to
be told.
Effective people are not necessarily smarter or more talented than their less successful
counterparts; they are only more disciplined. Many smart people fall by the wayside because
they strive only when they feel motivated. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by
applying their will power to overcome apathy, doubt or fear. Motivation works in the moment,
but you can count on the staying power of your will – persistence, perseverance, and
endurance.
Q 1. In a scale of 1- 10, how do you rate your Patience?
Q 2. How often are you punctual in completing your assignments, in reaching office and in
meetings?
Q 3. Can you describe an incident where you have shown your positive attitude?
Q 4. When was last time you took initiative to do something by self without being told to do?
I Realization 57
SUCCESS Pyramid
There are certain factors and stages which support a person to be successful are described in the
Success Pyramid. The base of the success pyramid is Environment. I am not talking about
natural environment with beautiful view of sea or hills with lots of greenery, but the kind of
people I interact or I am surrounded by. That is my family background, cultural background
and the religion I have been brought up, the schools and colleges where I have studied, my place
of work and my friends circle creates a certain belief system in me. When I believe something
then only I act; otherwise I hesitate to take action. If I take an action, definitely I will get the
result. Whether the result is positive or negative depends on the goal or on the objective I have
set. If my actions are towards my goal and purpose then it is positive or otherwise it will be
negative. If I achieve my goal I become happy. Happiness is one of the common purposes in our
life.
Everyone has got a unique purpose in their life. But rarely people try to find out their purpose.
Goals are the mile stones toward our purpose in life.
Have you ever questioned
yourself, what is your
purpose in life?
Everyone's purpose is to
contribute or serve the
world is some way or
other, which he enjoys to
do. If you are aware of
your purpose in life, then
while you are working
towards your goal and
purpose you may face
hurdles and difficulties.
You may have to strive hard to overcome these challenges; you may get tired but not frustrated
or stressed out as you are aware of your purpose. Stress and frustration is mental suffering, and
tiredness is only a physical suffering, which is for a short while.
Most of us lost belief in self. If I don't believe I don't take the required action to progress in my
life. Doubts are my traitors. If I believe, I take the required action and if I take the action
definitely I am going to get the result. That's the law of the nature.
If you have got a higher goal or higher purpose in your life; in most cases your present
environment may not support you. Therefore belief in self is very important as you can only
I Realization 58
To achieve your long-term goal you will be taking different steps and people around may think
you are a fool. Because they are not aware of your long-term vision and neither you have the
time to explain to them.
Initially most of the achievers are thought to be fools by the society. Therefore when you are
working towards your goal and if anyone criticises, take it as a complement. That's the indicator
that you are progressing towards your goal and you will definitely achieve your goal.
If you can align your environment with your goal, then you can reach your destination faster.
Otherwise like a car, if the wheels are not aligned you will have difficulties in driving. In the
same way if your environment is not aligned with your goal, you will have difficulties to achieve
your goal. We will discuss in more detail in the workshop.
As an adult you can create and change your environment according to your objective if you take
responsibility. For that you need lots of understanding of yourself and others. How you
communicate your objective and desires to others matter the most.
Some people give up when they don't reach their goal, though there is nothing wrong with the
goal. Others are missing the Belief which prevents them from achieving what they want to
achieve. For example, a person may want to lose weight. He goes on every diet plan and exercise
regime you can imagine, yet he doesn't lose weight. He may have an underlying belief system
which sets up for failure. He may believe deep down that he is not worthy of looking and feeling
fit and healthy, or that larger people are happier and he want to be perceived as being happy.
Aligning your Goals with your Purpose is like a slingshot, it propels you forward much faster in
the direction that you want to go. It contributes greatly to your happiness and certainly to your
success. The fastest way to achieve any Purpose aligned Goal is to change the Environment
within which you operate. This will automatically change your Belief systems, which will
change your Actions, leading to different Results. This is the secret formula for success.
1. Is your current environment where you invest your time aligned with your goal and purpose.
Please justify.
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____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
I Realization 59
Most important contribution is the Emotional Resource

Emotional contribution plays vital role in our lives but it's the most neglected area; as we have
been emotionally beaten in some course of our life. Therefore to be successful in life emotional
resource contributions with core values play a vital role in long-term health, wealth and
happiness
My office is a commercial place where I contribute through my intellectual resource and
company contributes to me through Physical Resource (Salary/compensation). When the
technology changes I need to update self so that you can contribute to the organization in a
better way. Otherwise I become redundant. Now let's discuss the role of emotion at our
workplace. Most of the people complain of stress due to work pressure. Is it the work or
something else? If I play basketball or cricket for a long time I will get tired, will I get stressed?
No, because you like the game and enjoy the company of the people around me. Same way, if
I enjoy the company of the people around me in the office, I may get tired but not stressed.
I spend major portion of my awaken time in the office and if I am not enjoying the company of
the people around me my life is a waste!
With unhappy
people an
organization
cannot achieve
what it desires.
Only a passionate
and enthusiastic
employee can
convert internal
and external
customers into
clients and keep
them happy in
terms of quality,
quantity and in
time delivery.
There is a saying, “People join the organisation and leave their bosses.” When you are dealing
with computers and machines, you press the right button, you get the right answer.
I Realization 60
When you are dealing with the human computer, it has got emotion. You first need to deal
with the emotion of the individuals. You need to motivate them to act on the knowledge
they have got. We communicate and act on the basis of our values, beliefs, thoughts and
knowledge on the subject,
Let's take a scenario from IT industry. You have joined an organization as a software
developer. When you are recruited, you are recruited on the basis of your skills and
knowledge in software. In the beginning mostly you will deal with the computer, which is
not having any emotions. You press the right button (key board) you get your answers right.
But as you get promoted, you not only deal with computers but also with human computers
to complete a project through delegation. If you want to extract work from others through
delegation, only pressing buttons (keys) will not yield results. Because these human
computers have got emotions and you need to deal with the emotional part also.
Emotion plays a vital role in our life. We do whatever we feel good or right. Feelings follow
action. We do whatever we can do for our children, parents, spouse and friends as we are
emotionally attached to them. If we can create a better emotional bond among employees
and with the employer, the efficiency at workplace will improve and that will lead to increase
in quality & productivity. It will reduce the attrition rate. The future of any organization
depends on the capabilities and productivities of its workforce. Most of us understand that
these prerequisites are must for prosperous organization. The maxim that 'the people are
our most important assets' is not often manifest in action as well as in words.
Our school and colleges emphasized on intellectual growth, but for the productivity of an
organisation we have to work as a team. If we can emotionally support each other our
productivity goes up.
After certain stage in our life emotional contribution is more important than financial
contribution.
Role play, Boss & Subordinate
1.
2.
3.
I Realization 61
Success Action Exercise - 6

If you are feeling angry with anyone, let it be your boss, subordinate, colleagues, spouse,
parents, business partner, customers or neighbour; please answer these 3 questions.
a) What have I received from this person?

______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
b) What have I given to this person?

______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
c) What trouble have I caused to this person?

______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Strategy to achieve your emotional balance:
There are many meditation techniques that can calm you down. Here is a simple technique
that can be practised easily to improve your emotional balance.
1. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, straighten your back and observe your
breathing.
2. Keeping your eyes closed observe your toes, observe your legs. Slowly move your attention
to the legs, then observe your abdominal movements, while you breathe in the abdominal
wall should come out and while you breathe out it should go in. Slowly keep moving your
attention and observation upwards to chest. Keep your eyes closed all the time, till you
complete your meditation.
3. Bring your attention to back bone. Start observing the lower part of your back and slowly
move upwards to shoulder. Observe your neck; observe the back part of your head and move
up to the top of your head.
4. Keep observing the top part of your head for a minute and then move to forehead, eyes and
nose.
5. Observe your nostrils, feel your breathe in your nostrils, your natural breathe.
6. Slowly count backwards from 99 to 0 in your mind, giving a gap of one second between
each number and at the same time keep observing your breathe. If you really can
concentrate on
I Realization 62
your breathe you will feel the coldness of the air in your nostrils while inhaling just outside
your nostril and warmth of the air while breathing out. The air outside the body is cooler
than our body temperature. Try to observe and know which nostril you are using. Just know
them you don't have to take any separate action.
7. While you are counting down if you miss a digit, once again begin counting from 99 to 0.
8. Keep your eyes closed and keep observing your natural breathe. Different thoughts will
come. Let the thought come and let the thought go; as if you are the host and your
thoughts are your guests. There are no bad thoughts or good thoughts, every thought is a
thought. You will only be observant. To avoid distraction you will ask permission from
people around you not to disturb for the next 15 minutes and put a reminder alarm for 15
minutes.
9. Practice this for at least 15 minutes every day in the morning and evening or noon before
lunch, and then slowly increase the timing to one hour in a month if possible.
You may experience pain at your back, please observe your pain as another person. Slowly
your pain will be eradicated and you will be relieved of your suffering.
Note: Anger is a natural instinct, which comes to us by birth. We cannot completely get rid of
it, but we can conquer through awareness and practicing meditation. Once you can
understand how much damage anger can cause, you will learn to distance yourself from this
destructive emotion.
You can cure your own illness:

If you can focus your mind like laser beam to place where you experience pain like backbone
and be observant you can cure any illness you are suffering from. Medicine only increases
your immune system. If you can keep carrying on your breathing exercise and observe the
part of the body you are experiencing pain as an observant, and avoid being reactive you can
cure any of your illness.
Another two factors to be considered to lead a healthy life:
?
Include some physical exercise such as yoga, jogging, walking or skipping.
?You need to be careful about your diet. Imagine you got a very expensive car
worth 50 lakhs, will put low grade oil into the car. You are much more expensive
than car; therefore you could own such an expensive car. Then why do you torture
yourself by not taking your fuel in time and not servicing yourself with proper rest
and exercise? Include fresh leafy vegetable and fruit in your diet. Avoid deep fry
oily food, too much sweet, meat and alcohol.
I Realization 63
I Realization 64
How to be an effective communicator and public speaker ?

I can have great ideas, Skills and knowledge; they are of no good to me my career or my
organisation; if I can’t communicate them clearly, confidently, persuasively to convert my
knowledge into earnings.
I am not here to teach English grammar. We are into business. What does that mean? We are
busy; we want to get more jobs done in less time. But sometimes, the way we communicate, we
dig our own grave by prolonging the communication with negative output. Grammatically you
may be perfect, but that does not mean anything to us unless you are getting the desired result.
Though the fault is in every one of us, but no one likes to be blamed, accused and
commanded by others. If I can communicate without blaming, accusing and
commanding others, I can achieve better results in both personal and professional life.
It’s not what I communicate but how I communicate plays the major role in every relationship.
Professor Albert
Mehrabian has
ACCORDING TO ALBERT MEHRABIAN’S RESEARCH
pioneered the EFFECTIVENESS OF YOUR COMMUNICATION
understanding of
communications since DEPENDS ON 3 ELEMENTS
the 1960’s. He received 7% OF MEANING IS IN THE WORDS THAT ARE SPOKEN.
his Ph.D. from Clark
University and in l964 38% OF MEANING IS IN VOICE / TONE
commenced an 55% OF MEANING IS IN FACIAL EXPRESSION /
extended career of BODY LANGUAGE
teaching and research
at the University of ITS NOT WHAT YOU COMMUNICATE
California, Los
Angeles. BUT HOW YOU COMMUNICATE.
Aside from his many and various other fascinating works, Mehrabian established above classic
statistic for the effectiveness of spoken communications which is worldwide accepted as
reference to face to face communication.
The model is particularly useful in illustrating the importance of considering factors other than
words alone when trying to convey (as the speaker) or interpret (as the listener) meaning, but
care needs to be taken when considering the context of the communication.
Style, expression, tone, facial expression and body language in Mehrabian’s experiments did
indeed account for 93% of the meaning inferred by the people in the study. But this is not a
general rule that you can transfer to any given communications situation. This percentage is
I Realization 65
applicable when the both the communicators are present face to face without any obstruction
and the percentage is the average result. It may change from situation to situation and kind of
relationship both of them have established. On the other hand speaker may not be very
effective while delivering his speech, but if the listener has got faith in the words of the speaker
from the past experience the result will be different.
Public Speaking is a Face to Face communication, therefore confidence in facial expression,
body language and tone of voice play very importance role to be an effective public speaker.
Confidence in facial expression, body language and tone of voice can be developed through
continuous and committed practice and practice.
To be a better communicator, I have to be a better listener. Listening skills is one of the very
difficult skills though it seems to be simple. Most of the time I am not listening but hearing and
there is a compulsive thinking going inside my mind, like playing my own tape recorder. Most
of the time I am preparing to reply or answer with little listening and understanding the other
person’s ideas and perspectives. I have created such a strong wall of my views, opinions and
perceptions that I am always preparing to defend my views and opinions to be best.
If I listen, then only I can understand the other person’s view. I must remember ‘listening builds
trust’.
If you are committed to convert your knowledge and skills to multiply your income,
please let us know.
We have a course on public speaking with all the necessary infrastructure and facilities to
sharpening your skills.
I Realization 66
In telephone conversation you can’t see the speaker, the body language and facial
expression is absent. The effectiveness of the communication depends more on the tone and
voice. According to research the impact of voice is 82% where as the wording accounts for
18% only in telephone conversation.
Replace 'YOU' with 'I', whenever you want to express your feeling. If you suppress your
emotions by not expressing the truth, you are inviting 'Psychosomatic illness' in the long run.
You can use this key in any language. There is no barrier to express your feeling, replace 'you'
with 'I' and observe the response from the other person.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION DEVELOPMENT SLIDE
BUILDING POSITIVITY IN
COMMUNICATION
No one likes to be blamed
though the fault may be of his / her
It is easy to disagree but very difficult to agree

REPLACE “YOU” WITH “I”
One of the main reasons why a manager gets stressed if the job delegated to the
subordinate is not completed in time and the productivity is not up to the expectation. In
most cases manager blames the subordinates. One of the main reasons for not getting the
desired result is the lack of effective communication skills. As mentioned above it's not
what you communicate but how you communicate plays the major role in every
relationship. If a manager communicates in a commanding manner, he may get the job done
but the employees will not perform whole-heartedly and the quality of the outcome may
suffer.
I Realization 67
Effective Communication Success Action Exercise 1

I have listed commonly used negative impacting statements which are used daily by us. Please
complete the statements by filling the gaps and then write another statement with more
positive impacting statement as alternatives.
1. You have to .....
2. You should have .....
3. I'll try…..
4. You made a mistake…..
5. Your complaint……
6. You can't / We can't……
7. As soon as possible
8. I'm just…
9. There's nothing else I can do…
10. Why didn't you….
11. It's against policy
12. I'm / He's busy
13. I don't know….
14. Ask so and so….. (somebody else)
15. I will get back to you after 3 p.m.
I Realization 68
How our communication evolves?

During childhood I am dependent on parents for all my basic necessities such as food, clothing,
shelter and education. In school I am dependent on teachers for knowledge. During this
dependence period the word more often used in my communication is 'you'. For example,
“Daddy can you give me money to buy book or pay tuition fees. Mummy can you give me food.
Mummy can you help me with school assignment.” To teacher, “Sir/ Madam, can you help me
with maths?”
As I become adult, My desire to become independent plays strongly in my mind. My thoughts,
actions and speech work towards independence. To be independent the words more often
used in my communication are 'I, me, my, mine' in sentences, “I want to stand on my own feet.
I want to have my own car. I want to have my own house.”
Once I fall in love or I get married my language changes to, “We will have our car. We will have
our house. We will have our child.” The words more often used are 'we, our, us' because
I realise that I can't live independently. We are all interdependent in this world. A family can't
be formed with one person nor can a child be created by single person. But after some years of
marriage, when the love vanishes in the air, my communication changes to 'I, me, my and
mine' to take credit and 'you' to blame others. Suppose I have got a 6 years old girl child. If my
child does very well in the school I husband tell, “My daughter is doing very well in studies.” If
the same daughter is not listening to me, I will blame my wife, “You spoiled my daughter.” In
another incident if the daughter is not listening to mother and she gets very irritated and hits
the child. The father shouts at mother, “Why are you hitting my daughter?” Then the wife says,
“Take your daughter.” If the same person uses the words, “Why are you hitting our daughter?”
Can she tell her husband, “Take your daughter?” Do I realise the fault is within ME, the way I
spoke to her?
Just now we discussed about a small family. Our organization is a big family. The same kinds of
mistakes are happening within every one of us in the organization. These small
miscommunications are leading to big industrial disputes and divorces.
As mentioned above we communicate on the basis of our values, beliefs, thought, and
knowledge on the subject, language and perceptions. Our values, beliefs and thoughts
determine what we say and do, which determine the result we get. Values are deeply and
strongly held beliefs and principles about what is right and wrong, good and bad, important and
unimportant, what should and shouldn't be.
To build a long-term relationship values play a vital role. Values form the basis of why we
believe the things that we do. Therefore if I want to change my communication from the core
of my heart, I must change my belief system.
I Realization 69
Present generation is more of 'I' centric than 'We' centric. Most of us think about 'self' only.
“What is there for me?” Now the question is how big is your family? Most of us want to be
independent (I) rather than interdependent (we). As a manager if you think that the
subordinates depend on you. You may develop ego. The “thought” that we are not
independent, we are all interdependent in this world will change your communication to 'we',
'our' and 'us'. You don't have to pretend or push yourself to make you an effective
communicator.
VVI
The word 'you' is to be used to praise or appreciate and ask others (e.g., “You have done a good
job.” “ Will you come in time”) The word 'I' is to be used to take responsibility and rest of our
communication should include 'we, our and us'. Because I can't achieve much result alone, I
need to work in a team. When I believe that I am interdependent, my communication changes
and synergy is created in the organization, and productivity is increased to many folds.
30 DAYS CHALLENGE
to master Public Speaking & Upgrade Income
INTERDEPENDENT - WE/OUR/US
(To acnowledge everyone’s contribution)
SYNERGY
INTERDEPENDENT - (I/ME/MINE/MY)
(To take Responsibility)
DEPENDENT- (YOU)
(To Praise / appreciate & Ask)
Public speaking is a common source of stress for everyone, but the best way to develop oneself.
Whether we work alone or with large group of people, eventually we will need to speak in public
to get certain tasks accomplished. And if we want to be leaders or achieve anything meaningful
in our lives, we will often need to speak to groups to be successful. Public speaking can be
developed through practice and practice.
I Realization 70
Effective Communication Success Action Exercise 2
Q1. When was the last time you spoke in front of a group?
________________________________________________________
Q2. How do you rate your speech in terms of effectiveness?
________________________________________________________
Q3. What are the steps you are going to take to improve to the next level as a public
speaker?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Q4. Where do you see yourself as a speaker in the next three months?
________________________________________________________
Affirmations:
I will write my goal every day.
I will engage myself in physical Exercise for 15 minute every day to improve my
health
I will carry on breathing Exercise (Meditation) for 15 minute every day.
I will be more observant than reactive.
The top 3% of people commit to self-development. They invest in books, courses and
seminars to develop their skills and abilities. They then go one step ahead and apply what
they learn. Only the top 3% don't waste hours watching TV. These people are more likely
to be producing TV entertainment or selling their products on TV than to be sitting at
home brooding on problems.
I Realization 71
Interpersonal Relationship Workshop Exercise & Role Play:
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between Boss and Subordinate :
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between Mother and daughter :
?
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between Mother and son:
?
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between friends
?
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between Parents
?
Interpersonal Relationship Building exercise in between spouse
l
While communicating, I must keep my audience in the mind, what kind of audience I
am communicating to.
l
Purpose of my communication
l
The communication must be specific and time bound if I am looking for any
assignment to be accomplished by the audience.
l
Clear doubts in your communication; e.g. I will try to do this after 5 pm. There is
doubt in you and after 5pm can be 10 years from now.
I Realization 72
Barriers in communication Group Exercise through a Game:

The 'barriers in communication' is a group exercise through a game with competition to make
it interesting. The process helps to involve every participant. It helps to take out the stage fear
from participants as everyone has to be there on the stage during presentation.
There are three stages in a face to face communication: Speaking (1), Listening (2) and
Understanding (3). The speaker speaks out the message, the listener listens and then he
understands the message the speaker wants to convey according to his perception and
understanding. There can be distortion while conveying the message at any stage which can
lead to misunderstanding.
All the participants are divided into three groups: Speaking (1), Listening (2) and
Understanding (3). Speaking group lists out all the factors that can be a barrier while speaking
such as voice, accent, stammering etc. The Listening Group lists out all the factors that can
cause difficulties while listening assuming the speaker was perfect while speaking, such as
distance, medical problem, absent mind etc. And 'Understanding group' has to list out all the
factors that can be barrier in communication in spite of not having difficulties while speaking
and listening such as language, perception, technical terms (not having knowledge in the
subject) etc. It's a game; the group lists highest number of valid points gets the prize.
All the groups are given equal time to list out the points (e.g. 10 minutes depending on the
group size). The groups are asked to write all the points on the board or on chart paper.
I Realization 73
TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE
Everybody knows how to use the telephone, but very few people know how to use it to their
best advantage. Often a client's first contact with a business is by phone. When using the
telephone, use your mouth for speaking only. Avoid chewing, eating, or drinking. In telephone
conversation you can't see the speaker, the body language is absent. The effectiveness of the
communication depends more on the tone and voice. According to research the impact of
voice is 82% where as the wording accounts for 18% only in telephone conversation.
Answer the telephone no later than the second ring if you can. Identify yourself with both your
name and company or department.
“Hello” is better than “Hi”.
Say, “May I tell her who's calling?” not “Who's calling?”
Answering calls for others
A) Identify yourself and the company or person for whom you are answering and say, “How
may I help you?
B) Offer assistance in the absence of others--say, “She is not in today, can I be of any assistance”.
C) Do not make commitments for others-say, “I'll give him your message when he returns,”
rather than-”He will call you as soon as he returns”.
D) Take accurate, legible messages with time, date, reason for call, urgency, company
represented, if any, the best time to reach them and all other pertinent information.
Polishing speaking skills requires considerable amount of your time, energy, effort and
constant conscious practise. Each of us has a speaking style that we develop and improve over a
period of time. Your style reflects your inner being and is shaped by your thought, values,
beliefs, experiences and education. You can modify your style to suit new situations and goals.
You change your verbal communication by selecting precise words, using complete sentences,
speaking without slang and dialect, and using the appropriate language on the basis of
audience.
Correct pronunciation and careful choice of words should be high on your improvement list.
Your credibility and ultimately your level of promotion within the company will depend on
your communication ability. Pronounce words clearly and correctly. Avoid slurring syllables
and dropping sounds from the ends of your words. Speaking too softly and mumbling leave
negative impressions. I realize if I have aspirations for high position in management, the way I
sound when I speak and my verbal style is important in achieving my professional goal.
I Realization 74
Email Writing
Email is a very powerful tool to communicate our ideas and pass on messages to everyone in a
group or in the organisation. It's very difficult to get everyone together in our busy corporate
world. Through email we can pass on the message to everyone and there is less chance of
miscommunication. I need to be careful while I am sending a message as it's a written form of
communication and everything is recorded for future reference. I need to be careful in the
wording. It should not be hurting or in a blaming manner. The cardinal rule in cyberspace is
this: if I wouldn't say it in person, I should not say it online.
In the business world, the rule is: Never say anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't say in a
company memo, in a letter, or in front of a large audience.
By law, companies can be forced to produce all internal documents – including e-mails that are
related to a case. So that “hilarious” off-colour joke that you send to your co –workers can be the
nail in your corporate coffin if it's seen as sexual harassment.
And don't even think about using company computers to get into porn and gambling sites.
Reply to business e-mails within 24 hours, even if you don't have all the essential information.
Reply to personal e-mails as soon as you can, at least within 48 hours.
You can address the person for whom the message is concerned and rest can be sent through cc.
Some of the examples are mentioned below:
Sample Emails 1
Sub: Complain on Non-availability of night snacks
Dear Mr/s……. / Good Morning Mr/s………../ Good Afternoon Mr/s………
I/We have received your complain on the non-availability of night snacks in the
cafeteria for last three days. Thank you for informing us. I will make sure that snacks
are available from today in the cafeteria.
Once again thank you for your valuable feedback. It's helping us to improve our service
standard to our internal customers.
Regards
Name of the Sender
I Realization 75
SIX HUMAN NEEDS

There are 6 human needs that are to be fulfilled to lead a balanced, happy and successful life.
They are Certainty, Variety (Change), Recognition, Connection with Love, Growth and
Contribution.
Initially a person looks for financial stability, a fixed source of income to take care of basic needs
such as food, clothing and shelter. Once financial stability is achieved, then only he can look for
variety, a change from regular routine to refresh ourselves.
CERTAINTY VARIETY (CHANGE)

(Fixed Source of Income) (Holiday, Entertainment)
Salary
RECOGNITION LOVE & CONNECTION

(Significance / Importance) (Association, Friendship)
Workshop Slide
GROWTH CONTRIBUTION
(Financial, Emotional))
Let's assume you don't have a job for the last three months. Whatever saving you had is over,
you are surviving on one square meal for the last 20 days; that also through borrowing from
others. You have gone for several interviews but everywhere got rejected. At last you got an
offer to work for an organisation with a handsome salary of Rs.50,000/- per month; but with
certain conditions. You will have to work 9 am – 9pm for the next 365 days without any break,
without any weekend. Its 7 days a week job without a break for a year. Will you take up the job?
I am sure most of us will take up the job. It's better to work 9 to 9 for seven days a week than
begging for basic necessities. But how will you feel after a couple of months. You will feel like
having a change. You will be craving for a holiday. Even your productivity will come down.
Therefore change or variety is also essential in our life.
Every well established organisation has got leave allotted for relaxation and Leave Travel
Allowance to refresh human computer. Some organisations will not allow to encash your leave.
You must go for a tour to refresh yourself, and then only your creativity and productivity will
improve.
Another human need is the recognition. People love to be recognised and appreciated. It is
there in every human being inborn. The desire to be significant may vary from person to
person. Suppose you have gone to a wedding ceremony of one of your friends. There was
beautifuldecoration, delicious food and very pleasant music. But there was no one to receive
you. Will you feel like going to such an occasion? No.
I Realization 76
We can be known or recognised for misdeeds also. If you are committing a murder or fraud you
will be famous overnight. Will you be famous or infamous? Then everyone will hate you.
People will keep distance from you. I am sure you don't want to have such recognition.
Human beings are social animals. We want to be connected to others. The next human need is
connection with love. The desire to be loved by others is there in every human being.
The next human need is growth. Why are you reading this manual or attending our workshops?
Because you want to grow, you want to grow financially, intellectually, emotionally and
spiritually. It is not only growing in physical size. We cannot grow physically after certain age
but we can keep growing our physical assets like property and bank balance. Only growing
financially is not going to work out to live in the civilised society. We must grow intellectually to
cope up with the rapid change in technology, philosophy and thought process of every
individual. And we must grow emotionally to support others. I realized the only way to remain
young is open to learning.
Another very essential human need is contribution. If we can contribute we feel good. We have
already discussed in the beginning of this chapter, we can contribute to other people's life in
three different way. They are through Physical resource, Intellectual resource and Emotional
resource. To contribute you must have it. Suppose I am in urgent need of 10,000/- rupees. If
you don't have, can you give me? Or I want to learn new software from you. If you don't have the
knowledge on that software or subject can you teach me? Or you want to know how to build a
long-term relationship, if I don't know, can I support you? Therefore you must have (grow)
then only you can contribute. But it does not mean that if you have, then you will contribute.
Most of the people are not willing to contribute unless they get some benefit out of it. In an
organisation seniors are not willing to contribute their knowledge to juniors. They think, “If I
give away my knowledge, then I will be thrown out of the organisation.” These people are not
willing to expand their horizon and to grow.
For example, I was taking a programme for hotel management staff. One of the participants was
working as a Sous-Chef in the hotel. He was not sharing his Italian recipe with others.
Whenever any Italian delegation came, he used to be called wherever he would be. He was
enjoying his importance. I asked him, “How management will promote you to next level?” You
are always required in this department and in this level. If you can delegate your work to others
then only we can promote. But if you are not willing to learn new skills and teach your junior the
skills you have got, you will not grow. You will be in that position throughout your life and you
will be frustrated.
I Realization 77
10 Years Success Planning Exercise
Life Areas Year 10
Career & Business
Finance & Income

Generating Assets
Cars, Boats, Aircrafts ect.
I Realization 78
I Realization 79
To be written after I week of writing 3 months goal (mention before).
Write all your dreams in the areas listed that you’s like to achieve in the 10 years
time. Use your imagination, you can have anything that you want.

Health & Fitness
Any other Goals

Holidays
I Realization 80
The only person I can have total control is self

If we can't manage our time and organise ourselves, most of us will blame external factors and
others. If a person is not able to reach office in time he may blame- public transport, traffic jam
or wife for not preparing meal in time. The list goes on: “I wish I had my own transport, I wish
my office would have been nearby, I wish my office timing would have been delayed by an
hour”.
If I could not complete my assignment in time, “I wish I was given some more time, I wish my
subordinates were well trained, so and so...” I look for all solutions outside. What am I doing? I
am trying to control others or external environment. How many people can I control or can I
control external activities? The only person I can have total control is self. The concept is
shown in illustration below.
The dot in the

centre is you and
there is a small
circle of people
around you
where you have
some influence
or some control,
i.e. if you tell
them to do
something for
you, they will do
for you (if
possible by
them). But they
will not do
anything and
everything for
you.
For example, if you are not feeling well and ask your mother to prepare a special meal for you;
she will prepare for you. If you ask for help from your superiors to complete an assignment, they
will help you as much as possible by them. The areas of influence consist of your family
members, friends, subordinates and superiors; where you do have some influence on them but
not total control. The only person you can have total control is you. But do you have total
control on yourself or others control you? Think about it.
I Realization 81
The outer circle around 'area of influence' is the 'area of concern'. The area of concern is the
whole world other than you and your area of influence (area of control). Anything happens in
this world affects our life directly or indirectly i.e. it bothers us. But we don't have any control on
those areas. Let's take an example. Suppose there is match between India & Pakistan, and India
wins the match. How do you feel? We feel happy. And if India loses the match, how do you feel?
Sad & depressed! Can I do anything about it? But I keep on gossiping and commenting on the
match even though the match is over long time ago.
In this world every one of us has got 24 hours. If I am spending time on the area of concern,
where I don't have any control or influence, then I am spending less time on self and on the area
of influence. If I am not spending time for my growth, I will be left behind. I can keep on
improving my intellectual (IQ), emotional knowledge (EQ) and Spiritual Knowledge (SQ) to
improve throughout my life. If I am sound financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
then only I can take care of others. The more time I spend on self for my growth, my area of
influence will increase as I will be able to contribute to more people. The more time I spend on
area of concern, my area of influence decreases. For example, our PM Mr. Narendra Modi has
spent more time on his self growth to improve; therefore now he has got influence on more
number of people.
To be successful in your life you must prioritize your time in the following manner:
1. Spend time for self growth
2. Spend time for your near & dear ones
3. Then you if have got any time left spend for society.
If you want to help the society, you must be independent financially, emotionally and
intellectually. Only independent people can be interdependent.
Work-life balance
Everybody in this world has got 24 hrs in a day,
whether you are the head of the state or an
ordinary citizen. God has been equal to everyone
in this aspect.
To lead a balanced life we can divide our 24 hours

into three divisions of 8 hours: 8 hours for self, 8
hours for work and 8 hours for others including
wife, children, parents, neighbour, relatives and
friends.
I Realization 82
Minimum 8 hours to be devoted to self. You can include in these 8 hours sleeping,
meditation, writing your goal and reading any self- help book to motivate yourself. Suppose
you are lying on the bed and you are not getting sleep; then you can observe your body from
head to toes and your breath. It will take care of your rest.
Minimum 8 hours to be devoted to your work. Initially you may have to devote more than 8
hours time to work. This extra time to be adjusted from the time allotted for others, not from
the time allotted from self. You must keep your 8 hours for yourself, and then only you can
progress in your life. You must strive to achieve your concentration to get maximum output
during work time. Slowly you will find 8 hours is enough to lead a successful and happy life.
Maximum 8 hours to be devoted to others. Initially at the beginning of your career you will
not get enough time to spend for others unless you have organised yourself well in advance.
Most of the people neglect work and themselves, and give importance to others. Later on they
regret for the mistake. Please don't commit the same mistake again after going through this
manual. Others will give importance to you when you give importance to yourself and your
work. Your salary and income will improve when you devote time to your work and yourself,
then only you can contribute to your family and friends financially.
If you want to help your family, relatives, friends and the society, you must be financially,
intellectually and emotionally stable and independent. Only independent people can be
interdependent.
What is life without that feeling of growth, without the rush you get when you overcome a
barrier, a challenge or meet a goal? Or it could be that you are without the feeling of satisfaction
and fulfilment you get, when you know you've done something REALLY worthwhile.
So let's cut to the point…
If you know, deep down inside that you need to make a major change in your life right now
then now is the time to act. If you feel, that you are so much capable and resourceful than
you've been letting on, then now is the time to act. It's time to cut excuses, step up and take
responsibility to organise for yourself and your life…
It's now or never, because tomorrow is too late.

I train people how I want to be treated by others.
I Realization 83
Time Management Techniques

According to Steven Covey our daily activities can be divided into four sections, they are:
Important - Urgent, Important – non-urgent, non-important – urgent and non-important –
non-urgent.
Important – Urgent: The categories which come under 'Important – Urgent' section are
accidents, assignment with immediate due dates or any events without any due dates.
Important – non-urgent: The categories which come under this section are all except
accidents from previous section with due dates. Once all the activities in the previous section
had due dates, when it was important but not urgent. We are given enough time to complete an
assignment but we keep on waiting for the last moment to complete. If you can organise
yourself and commit to spend enough time every day towards your task, you will never invite
stress for yourself. The only activity will appear in the first section is accidents.
Non-important – Urgent: The activities which are urgent, it's happening now only but not
important for you to spend time on all those activities, such as live cricket match, movie on the
first day first show, phone is ringing while you are having an important meeting. You can call
back the caller after the meeting is over. Research shows out of 20 unknown calls 19 calls are not
important: mostly from marketing companies.
Suppose you have decided to complete an assignment on Sunday in between 2pm – 5 pm.
suddenly your friend called you at 1:00 p.m. to inform that he has got 4 complementary pass for
a movie which you wanted to watch yesterday, but could not get ticket. He invited your family
to come and watch the movie with them.
I Realization 84
What would you do? It's urgent; the movie was at 3pm- 6pm. Your assignment was important
but you thought you would complete once you come back from the movie. Your friend insisted
to have dinner at a restaurant. By the time both of you came back home, it was 10:30pm. Then
you sat to complete the assignment on your computer. You were very tired but completed the
assignment in half-sleep as it was urgent. What kind of assignment it's going to be? You
submitted the assignment next day morning and were assessed on the basis of this assignment
for a promotion. Your promotion got delayed for six months due to grammatical and spelling
mistakes in the assignment. Watching the movie was urgent not important as you can see the
movie later on but you have to pay for it. To save money for two movie tickets you lost six
months increments.
Non-important – non-urgent: The activities which come under this are neither important
nor urgent but you enjoy doing those activities such as repeated watching your favourite
movie, unnecessarily gossiping with friends for long time. If you have worked for a long time
and then gossiping with your friend for relaxation is important.
Once again let's take the same above example, you have decided to complete an assignment on
Sunday in between 2pm – 5 pm. but suddenly you switched on the television at 2:30 pm and
you saw one of your favourite movies was running, which you saw twice before. Some of us
would be watching the movie again thinking that he would complete the assignment after 5pm.
After 5 pm one of relatives came to your house, what would you do? You treated your relative
with dinner and by the time your relative left your house, it was 10 pm. then you sat to complete
the assignment on your computer. You were very tired but completed the assignment in half-
sleep as it was urgent (It has moved to 'Important-Urgent', which was in 'Important – non-
urgent' section at 2pm). What kind of assignment it's going to be? You submitted the
assignment next day morning and were assessed on the basis of this assignment for a
promotion. Your promotion got delayed for six months due to grammatical and spelling
mistakes.
Watching the movie was neither urgent nor important as you saw the movie before. If you want
to watch the movie you can watch that later in your video.
One of the traditional ways to explain time management is through glass jar. Draw a picture of
glass jar and beside that draw pictures of big stones almost the size of glass jar so that only one
stone can fit inside the jar. Next to that draw pebbles, sand and liquid. Ask the participants,
“How many stone can you put inside?” The response will be, 'only one'. Next you point out to
pebbles and ask, “Can we place pebbles inside the jar?” You fill up the blank space with pebbles.
I Realization 85
Next you point out to sand, “Is there any space for sand?” You fill up the jar with sand. Next
point out to liquid, “Can we pour water inside this jar?
Money talks
In my workshop after repeated instruction

'not to be late' in the training programme, then
also participants will not be in time. As the
participants are adults if you ask them, why
they are late, they feel annoyed. Money does
the work.
I Realization 86
To be written after 3rd week of writing 3 months goal (mention before).
As I feed my body everyday, I need to feed my mind everyday to remind

me the actions to be taken to reach my goal.
1 Years Success Planning Exercise
Year 1

Career & Business
Finance & Income

Generating Assets
Life Areas
I Realization 87
The will power is like a muscle; it grows stronger with use. We need more than
will power to make a journey - we need a direction, a task, a goal, a mission - we need
a purpose that has meaning to us. Knowing our purpose and acting in alignment
with that purpose unleashes the full potential in us.

Health & Fitness
Any other Goals

Holidays
I Realization 88
NOTE
I Realization 89
Deal with Criticism

“It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
to achieve your GOAL and SUCCEED in life.”
People who ever achieved extraordinary result in their lives, were initially criticized or labelled
as fool; because they only could see their long-term outcome or vision. Fear of criticism is one
of the biggest obstacles in the path of success. Whoever has been successful in this world had to
defeat this worst enemy- fear of criticism. People refuse to take action in spite of having all the
talents due to the fear of criticism (if I fail). For these people fear of criticism is stronger than
desire to succeed. Some people refuse to set high goal due to the fear of criticism from friends
and relatives.
I realised if I want to
grow higher in life, I
have to come out of
my comfort zone and
set strong roots. To
set strong roots I need
more time. During
this period while I am
watering my ideas,
others will criticise
me as they can't see
anything above the
ground.
Successful people deal with criticism as a feedback. Criticism is the measuring scale to inform
me that I am doing something extraordinary. Those who don't do anything extraordinary in life
don't attract any criticism. Criticism is part and parcel of a successful life. I can't make everyone
happy in this world. When I start practising core values, I will attract criticism from those who
don't follow core values.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your sorrow,
if you have opened to life's betrayals or
have become shrivelled and closed from the fear of further pain.
Initially people will not support rather they will criticize; that's the law of the nature. Very few
can overcome these criticisms and stops taking any further action towards their goal by saying,
“I had enough, I am struggling hard for these people and they don't understand and support
me. What's the point of working so hard?” Only your actions can take you to your destination.
I Realization 90
Some people believe in rings and stones to change their

fortunes. Rings and stones are the reminders to take
action as you can see them all the time. Stone can never
change any ones fortunes. Our body reacts when rays and
vibration pass through stones and metal that touches our
body. You can be hyperactive or stone can make you dull
to stay back at home. If you can use these reactions in
your favour, you achieve success.
For example a person who always prefers to stay back at home will be given such a stone by
astrologer, he will become hyperactive. He will feel like going out. He can use this action to
meet more clients or watch more movies. It's up to his awareness, values and belief system. On
the other side if a person is hyperactive, he may be given the opposite kind of stone to become
lethargic and stay back home. He can use this time to study and finish assignments to succeed in
career or keep watching movies, TV serials and sleeping.
Let's come back to criticism, if you work very hard and support your organization, you may
invite criticism from lazy colleagues. They will not do their job and criticize your effort and
initiatives. They will label you to be fool, “You must be fool, I work 8 hours and you work
10hours; but we get the same salary.” If you listen to them and stop taking the required action to
get your desired result, then they are the winners. They have achieved their goal of dragging
you down. But they are ignorant of their actions. They are destroying their own career and
careers of their colleagues. They are passing the same kind of values to their children also. Their
children will carry the same kind of values. It becomes too late by the time they realize that their
children are not getting a good job or are not able to sustain a job due to those values imparted
by them.
No one has learned everything from their birth. We learn through making mistakes. How many
times you have fallen down to learn walking? Please don't get afraid to make mistake to avoid
criticism. Criticisms are your feedback that you are going to be an extraordinary person
in the future. Coal had to go through extreme temperature and pressure to become diamond,
and this diamonds need cutting and polishing before they can be useful. You are a rough
diamond; dealing with criticism is polishing the diamond that is you.
Q. Please Narrate an incident where you have been criticized for taking extra initiative to
complete a task?
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I Realization 91
Change is the only thing which is constant in this world.

Most of us are reluctant to change. Everyone wants to change others, not self. I will share two
incidents in this regard.
A very elderly farming couple was sitting in the lobby of a 5-star hotel in Hyderabad, waiting for
their son. They have enough land in their village and the couple is involved in farming only.
They rarely come to city. Their son was very brilliant and mostly interested in studies than
farming. He studied well and passed engineering from a very reputed engineering college in
India. Later on he went to USA to work in a multinational company. He came to Hyderabad for
two weeks official assignment and was staying in a 5-star hotel. He booked room for his parents
also in the hotel and asked them to stay with him during his stay. They were waiting for their son
in the lobby at 3:30 afternoon. There was lift in front of them but they never saw lift before.
They were amazed to see the beautiful machine- people goes inside with different shapes and
size, and comes out with different shapes and size. They saw an Indian man dark in complexion
went inside and came out as fair and handsome foreigner. Once again they saw a lady dark in
complexion went inside and came out as fair and beautiful lady. What a beautiful machine!
Husband told wife, “You go inside that machine and become fair and beautiful.” And wife told
husband, “You go inside that machine and become fair and handsome.” But no one went inside
the lift. That's exactly happening in our life. We want to change the other person not ourselves.
I Realization 92
2nd incident is from my personal coaching sessions. One lady used to call me almost every
Sunday for seven months before she came down to my office. She used to ask me answers to
very personal questions about their marital relationship. Sometime I used to get annoyed as she
was not willing to come down to discuss all this issues. She used to tell me, “Don't worry I will
pay you the fees you deserve for this service.” Thanks to her, she came down and paid more
than expected fees, but she said, “I want this programme for my husband not me.”
We have a programme called 'Life Coaching, 'where you have to come for 2 hours session once
in a week for 12 weeks. It's a personalised confidential 12 sessions programme over a period of
12 weeks. The last session is more of feedback session. If anyone can attend all the 12 sessions, I
assure that any issue in your life will be sorted out.
I said to her, “As long as your husband is willing to come for the sessions, your problem will get
solved.”
Just to keep up wife's word husband agreed to come. They could experience the results in four
weeks itself. Then the wife disclosed, “With this issue we have gone to many psychologists,
psychiatrist and Babas (spiritual gurus), but result was negligible. You are the 25th person and
we have got the desired result.” Most of the psychologists, psychiatrist and Babas (spiritual
gurus) will give advice and some sedatives. People take in advice from one ear and take out
from other ear. But here you commit to yourself and in front of third person (a Life Coach) in
writing that you will take all the actions mutually agreed upon. If you are taking the actions, you
will get the result- that's the law of the nature. We can make rules but we can't change the law of
the nature. I just make people to follow the law of the nature. If anyone is coming back weeks
after weeks, that mean he is putting his commitment into action. Definitely he will get the
result; in no way can he be devoid of the fruit. In this programme everyone realises that they are
their own fortune teller.
Q. Please mention the changes you need to bring in your life to get the desired results you
are looking in the next 3 months.
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I Realization 93
Life is full of Adventures

Sometimes I feel formal education has stopped people to think. Most of the time we are taking
decisions from our conditioned mind to invite misery in our life.
Let's assume you have gone for parasailing in a lake. (Parasailing is an adventure sport, also
known as Para ascending. This sport requires a speedboat and a parachute. The parachute is
tied to the speedboat. A rope of about 300 feet long is attached to the parasail harness (a set of
straps and metal pieces to fasten) at one end and to the speed boat at the other. As the
speedboat speeds off, the Para sailor is hauled up in the air. The parascender has little or no
control over the parachute. The tow-vehicle controls the speed and height of the person flying
the parasail.) You are the 'parascender' and you have gone up in the air almost 100 meter above
water level.
Suddenly the parachute
snapped and you fell
down in the water. You
never knew swimming,
but as you were
splashing water to
survive, you realised
you are floating very
easily and swam 200
meters to come to the
shore. What will be your
reaction?
You went to the organiser and asked for compensation. If organiser didn't agree to pay the
amount you have demanded, you took him to the court. After several months and several
rounds in the court you got the money that you demanded. But you realised the amount you
have shelled out to lawyers and your travelling expenses plus office absence is almost the same.
More over you had to pass through all the agony of coming back to the court again and again to
attend all the sessions which was terrible. What have you gained?
As mentioned in the last chapter, every incident has got a positive aspect and negative aspect,
how do we take it depends on how we think about ourselves. You can take the incident as failure
or learning. You went for adventure and you had real adventure in the trip. You learned
swimming due to the incident; you came to know your capability that you can fall down from
100meter above water level and still you can swim more than 200meters. What a great adventure!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Nelson Mandela
I Realization 94
You had the true experience of the Nelson Mandela's above statement that you are powerful
beyond measures. If you could think that way, you could have thanked the organiser from the
heart. Organiser was terrified and nervous with incident and was expecting that you would
shout at him. But what you did? You thanked him. What would be his reaction, “Sir, are you
human or God. I gave you so much pain and you are thanking me. Please forgive me and if I can
be of any help please let me know. Please allow me to pay any medical expenses.” You gave him
an opportunity to acknowledge his mistake and built long-term relationship for ever. You have
increased your family. If you want to come back for parasailing, you will always be welcomed
like their family members.
Some people may criticise your act of thanking the organiser. But you followed your
conscience. If you are practising the previous act, you will never be welcomed and create enemy
everywhere.
It's not what happened to me, but what I do about it. Bad thing happens in our life. But it's
not what happened to me, what I do about it determines the outcome. If a snake bites you, do
you run after the snake or you go to the hospital to cure yourself?
Same way you will find lots of snakes around you in your day to day life, but how do you protect
yourself is up to you. There are laws to protect our physical assets, but there is no law to protect
your intellect. It's your responsibility to protect your thoughts. There are snakes (people)
around you to poison your mind and provoke you.
It is not what others do but our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those
provocations. What people will say or do is under their control. But how I will react is under my
control. I can have control on my thoughts, and thoughts are generated in my mind. I can
achieve mastery over my mind through conscious and continuous practise; otherwise
compulsive thinking will take me over. By controlling my thoughts, I can determine my
destiny. My mind & consciences is my spiritual asset. I need to protect and use it with outmost
care. God has given me the will power to protect it from evil purpose. Mind control is the
result of self-discipline and habits. I either control my mind or it controls you. There is no
half-way compromise. The most practical of all methods for controlling my mind is the habit of
keeping it busy with a definite purpose, backed by present actions based on my definite future
plan and keep my mind clean through forgiveness exercise, whenever required.
I Realization 95
I remain young if I am open to learning

The word learning reminds me of another
beautiful story. An elderly couple met with a
car accident. In the accident the lady lost her
husband. She was 66 when she lost her
husband. All the children were grown up
and lived separately. The couple was
wealthy and was living in a mansion with
servants. After the death of her husband she
felt lonely and was not having any more
interest to live. she used to be OK, and once
again back to same state after some time.
Her children used to come and see her on special occasions like birthday, Christmas holidays
and rest of the year she was alone with servants. Whenever she used to go to sleep, she used to
feel as if walls were hounding at her. She went to many psychiatrists and psychologists.
Everyone said, “Madam you are having everything- children are well established, beautiful
house and servants to take care. Why are you worried? Enjoy your life” and used to give
sedatives. As long as the effect of sedative used to overpower her
One of the psychologist asked her, “Madam, is there anything worthy you wanted to do, but
could not do in your life?”
She kept on thinking, “I had a wonderful life. I can't think of anything to regret. I had wonderful
married life. My husband was very loving.” She was brooding and suddenly she said, “Yes,
whenever I watch any TV serial or movie on college life, I feel I wish I would have done those. I
got married to our neighbour only. I knew him since childhood. He was a nice person and was
running his business. When I was about to join college after 12th, this marriage proposal came
and I couldn't resist. I don't have any complaint about my husband, but I feel I missed the
college excitement.” The psychologist said, “Madam, can you fulfil that wish now? You have to
join a regular college and attend classes with all the young girls. First day they will think you are
their lecturer. But once they will come to know that you are their classmate, they will make fun
on you. They will ridicule you, but this teasing will continue for a week or two weeks or
maximum period of three weeks. Later on they all will be your best friends.” The psychologist
showed her the full picture of college incidents that would take place and how to handle them.
He said to say her 'Yes' to whatever comment her classmate would make.
As usual, first day she was sitting in the class and the girls in their 20s wished her, “Good
morning Madam” and she said, “I am not your lecturer, I am your classmate.” All started
laughing, “Are you OK? You are supposed to be in the mental hospital.” She said, “Yes, I am
I Realization 96
supposed to be in mental hospital.” Some girls commented, “How come this old bone is here?”
She said, “Yes, I am old bone and I want to study with you all.” Whatever her classmates
commented, she said, 'Yes'. Tell me how long can you tease someone who is always agreeing
whatever you say? Within a week all teasing stopped and this young girl would be having
problems with their boy friends and in their life at large. She had been in the University of Life
and she was very friendly with everyone in the class. Where would these young girls go for
solutions?
During weekend classmates
wanted to go out for parties. She
said, “Why to go out? You all can
come to my place. All the facilities
are there for party: barbeque,
swimming pool, seating
arrangement.” She was already
contributing emotionally and
intellectually, now she started
contributing Financially.
One day she found one of her
classmates was absent for few days,
then she enquired, “Julie not to be
seen couple of days.”
Classmates said, “College has asked her to clear the dues to attend the classes.”
She said, “Ask her to come to the class from tomorrow.” She was having enough money left and
all the children were well settled. She started to help her classmates financially also.
She was contributing her classmates in every way- financially, intellectually and emotionally;
so she became the most popular girl in the college. After completion of all the three years she
was attending the graduation ceremony. In the graduation ceremony all passing out students
came on the stage took their certificate and went down. When this lady came, she was asked to
share her experience, “For the first time in the history of this college, one of our students is
passing out at 70. Will you share your experience in the last three years?”
She said, “Last three years of my life was the most exciting and memorable moment. I have
enjoyed every bit of it. I am grateful to all my classmates and to all the members of this college.”
Was she lying?
Unfortunately she died in that night, holding her rolled certificate in her hand. It was a
happy death. Can she carry on anymore adventure? You can carry on your adventure as long
as you are alive. Please make use the most of it.
I Realization 97
Please make this year your best year ever.
Q.1: How much is your financial target for this year ?
Q.2: What is the one thing you really need to complete this year?
Q.3: Please list out the strategies to achieve your goal this year?
Q.4: Please write three steps you will take in the next 30 days?
Q.6: Please write down the strategies you will be following this year?
Q.7: Please list which areas you are not giving adequate attention currently?
Q.8: What are the important – but not urgent items that have been put aside due to the
tyranny of the urgent?
Q.9: What do I need to complete in my life?
I Realization 98
'A Day in My Life’

Write 'A day in My Life'. 10 years from now This is a creative writing piece detailing everything
in your life in 10 years time broken down into one day. It might be your Birthday for example-
what business, income generating assets, relationships, spiritual connections, emotional ups,
etc. do you have in your life. Addding pictures in the next page will give visual weight to the
process. It must be written in present tense.
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I Realization 99
Pictures
I Realization 100
SELLING IS THE HIGHEST PAID JOB:

Selling is not only selling goods and service, but selling ideas to self and others. First I must be
sold to the idea that the product or service I am promoting to the customer can solve a problem
or achieve a goal.
Selling offers opportunities for the average people that are unimaginable in most professions.
Five percent of self-made millionaires in the world are sales-people who did their jobs
extremely well. You should get up every morning and give silent prayer of thanks that selling is
so difficult. If it was easy, the field would be flooded with people and your income would be
greatly reduced. But as it is very tough, by becoming good at it; your income can be unlimited.
To build and maintain a quality relationship is very important in selling.
Selling is all about relationship building.
Relationship is built through contribution towards
others. Contribution can be done in three different
ways. They are through physical resource,
Intellectual resource and Emotional resource.
Emotional resource contribution plays the vital role
in our lives but it's the most neglected area; as we
have been emotionally beaten in some course of our
life. Therefore Emotional resource contributions
with core values play a vital role in long-term
relationship.
People make buying decision emotionally, and justify them rationally.
?
People buy from people whom they like. People like people who are like
themselves.
?
People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care for
them
?
People like to buy; they don't like to be sold
The major obstacles in our sales career are Low self esteem and Fear of rejection. Fear of
rejection is the biggest obstacle in the success of our sales career. It holds back us from seeing
more and better prospect, and translating those calls into more and better sales. The good thing
about fear of rejection is that, it is an acquired fear. No one is born with it. You can eradicate fear
of rejection, if you are committed by awareness and practice.
First you have to sell yourself before selling your product or service. Rejection has nothing
to do with you as a person. The prospect does not know you well enough to reject you as an
individual. To repeat: rejection is simply not personal. Everyone is bombarded with so much
sales proposals in our commercial society that 'NO' is a standard response to any sales
proposal.
I Realization 101
Selling is all about converting big 'NO' to 'YES'. As mentioned above 'NO' is the standard
response in every proposal as our prospect does not know to what he/she is saying 'no'.
Therefore the first step is to convert our prospect from 'NO' to 'KNOW'. To convert 'no' to
'know' we should take the initiative to know him by asking questions.
The most important aspect in selling is the art of asking questions and listening patiently
to understand the client; so that you can provide the right solution to the client. Then ask
for business and close the sale.
To succeed in sales career physical and mental fitness are must, and to remain fit and healthy
following step to be followed.
Goal setting ? Mental Preparation ? Action ? Cleansing of Mind
?
Goal Setting: Set a target for the month according to your capacity, circumstances
and previous sales records. It must be a realistic figure to achieve your sales target.
?
Mental Preparation: Willing to accept as many as rejections before achieving sales
target.
?
Action: To be in the field and meeting as many prospect as possible
?
Cleansing of mind through forgiveness a exercise, practise of meditation to stabilise emotion
and writing gratitude for the people who has helped you on that day in any form
OBJECTION IS AN OPPORTUNITY IN DISGUISE
There are no sales without them. No matter how through your presentation, your prospect will
always have unanswered questions and concerns that you will have to deal with before
proceeding to the conclusion of the sale. Objections indicate interest. Where there are no
objections, there is no interest. Successful sales have twice as many objections as unsuccessful
sales. You will feel disappointed, angry, or defensive. You will feel that your product is being
attacked by the customer and our natural instinct will be to counterattack. This is a big mistake
we commit. Instead of being upset by an objection, no matter how harshly it is delivered, we
should be exhilarated. You now have an opportunity to begin moving the sale forward.
Objections reveal the hidden motives that underlie buyer behaviour. When a prospect
challenges one of your statements, he is saying that part of your product is important to him and
he wants more information in that area.
Make it easy for your customer to object. Practice unconditional positive regard. Be positive,
relaxed, and smiling throughout. Acknowledge and respect your customer's feelings and
opinions. Whatever he says, treat it as a serious and thoughtful observation on your product or
service. The more relaxed your customer becomes with you, the more likely that he will
eventually buy.
I Realization 102
PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE
The objections you hear most cluster around the following six questions: (1) price; (2)
performance; (3) follow-up service; (4) competition; (5) support; and (6) warranties and
assurances.
“Mr./Sir/Madam, before I begin, I want to tell you that our product is one of the most
expensive in the market. Yet, in spite of our prices, hundreds (or thousands) of people like you
purchase this product every year. Would you like to know why?”
(While making a presentation, the prospect may ask you a question and disturb the flow of
your presentation. To avoid the distraction please ask the following question.)
“May I come back to that in a moment .I think you'll be very happy with the answer?”
In selling timing is everything. There is a right time and a wrong time for everything you say.
There is too soon and too late. As a professional salesperson, your job is to determine the time
and to present your information and arguments in a logical sequence, with each building on the
other.
You should always handle objections diplomatically. You should treat objections as
requests for more information. Turn the objection into a question. When the prospect says
something like, “How much does it cost?” you simply say, “That's a good question.” Can I ask
you a question? How much can you invest for your health/ quality product/property?
Compliment every objection. Treat it as an intelligent and thoughtful commentary on your
product. The more you compliment a prospect for objecting, the more likely it is that the
prospect will object again. He will eventually give you every misgiving he might have in
considering purchasing your product or service. When your prospect objects for any
reason, you can say, “That's a good question! I'm glad you ask that.”
Another powerful phrase you can use to neutralize an objection and take control of sales
conversation is, “Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), obviously you have a good reason for saying that.
Do you mind if I ask what it is?” Whatever the prospect says, listen him out completely. Listen
patiently and attentively to the objection, even though you may have heard it a thousand times
before. Resist the urge to jump in and knock it down with one of your well- prepared answers.
Remember, for the prospect, this is the first time he has expressed this concern to you and it is
important that you be respectful of his question.
Never forget that listening builds trust. Every objection or question that the customer asks
you is an opportunity for you to build a deeper foundation of trust for the relationship that
you must have in place when it comes time to making the buying decision. You should expect a
certain amount of sales resistance the first time you meet a prospect.
I Realization 103
The first ten to fifteen words out of your mouth set the stage. They either connect with the
prospect's real concern or they don't. You should plan your opening words carefully so that
when the sales conversation begins, you are ready. Just as professional speaker plans his
opening comments word for word, as a professional salesperson you should plan your
opening word for word as well. This is the surest way to lower sales resistance at the very
beginning.
Acknowledge and compliment whatever question or objection prospect gives. “That's a
good question, Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), I'm glad you asked it. And in addition to that, is
there any other reason why you might be hesitating about going ahead with this offer right
now?” Again remain silent. Often the first objection is merely a smokescreen. The real
objection lies further below the surface. If he gives you another objection, you acknowledge it
and go on. “By the way, Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), just before I go, I wonder if you could do
me a favour. It would really help me with my other customers if I know exactly where I went
wrong in my presentation to you. What is the real reason you decided not to buy?” And then
remain perfectly silent, smiling. Whatever objections you get, you can continually control the
sales conversation with the magic phrases, “Obviously you have a good reason for saying
that; do you mind if I ask what it is?”
Remember, the person who asks questions has control. When you respond to a question
with a question, you are staying in the driver's seat of the sales process. And every time you ask a
question and require the prospect to elaborate on a concern of his, you get another opportunity
to listen, to build trust, and to improve the relationship. As we talked about in prospecting, if
price comes up early in the conversation, you should defer it to a later time. “Mr. Prospect
(Sir/Madam), I know that the price is important to you and I'm going to cover it thoroughly.
Could I come back to that question in a few minutes?”
“Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), if it's not exactly right for you, there is no charge?” And Mr.
Prospect (Sir/Madam), if you don't buy it, there is no charge. It won't cost you anything. And
all I need is about ten minutes of your time to show you what I've got and you can decide for
yourself if it makes sense to you.
How much is this going to cost?
Sir, if you don't like what we have, you're not going to buy it, are you? Well, no, we're sure not.
And sir, if you don't buy it, it's not going to cost you anything is it? Why don't we first find you
something that you really like, and then let's see if we can get it for you at a price that makes
sense? What do you say?
“Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), are you going to make your decision solely on the basis of the
lowest cost product irrespective of attractiveness, convenience, quality, durability, service, and
follow- up support, guarantees, or the expected life of the product?”
I Realization 104
DEALING WITH OBJECTION

? Listen to the objection
? Convert a NO to a KNOW
? Don't counter it
? Don't get defensive
? Be fair
? Change the frame
Examples of handling objections:

What do you mean, exactly? That's a good question! I'm glad you asked that.
Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam) you have a good reason for saying that. Do you mind if I ask
you a question?
Always agree with the prospect then: What about this or that
The F3 Formula – Feel – Felt – Found
“I can't afford it” or “Your price is too high” or “It costs too much”
Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), I understand exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I first
looked at the price, but this is what I found. Then narrate your success story.
Use the name whenever possible. Name is the sweetest thing to an individual
Others Ways to change the frame
Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam) has it ever happened that you got any product or service which
has got quality, quantity, efficiency and cheap?
After clearing all the objections, ask for business assuming that he is going to buy your
product or services.
? Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), do you have any questions or concerns that I have not covered
up so far?
…does this make sense to you so far?
? Is there anything else behind your mind to ask me before I start the paper work?
“I want to think it over”.
“Mr.xyz, that's a good idea. This is an important decision and you shouldn't rush into it.”
Pause for a while…..
I Realization 105
“Mr. Prospect (Sir/Madam), obviously you have a good reason for wanting to think over. May
I ask what it is; is it the money?”
“No, it's not the money”
“May I ask what it is?
Closing the sale: Asking for business

?
How would like to pay, by cheque or cash/ credit card?
?
When can I send delivery, morning or evening?
?
Where would you like the delivery, home or office?
?
Which day is better for you Saturday or Sunday?
?
What I need from you, your name, home address and your autograph!
?
Sir, what is the correct spelling of your last name or what is your correct mailing
address or “Excuse me, what is today's date?
“Never criticise your competitors”
I Realization 106
SMARTIES GOAL & Inspirational writing : Date :
GRATITUDE EXERCISE :
I Realization 107
My 24 Hours Activities
Timing Activities Date :
Income : Expenditure
Forgiveness Exercise : to be written in separate page and throw away.

I Realization 108
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I Realization

Name of the Book Store/ Seller:

Purchase date: Completion Date:

I am committed to myself and to my Life Coach to complete all the Success

Name................................................................ Phone No..........................

Copy right © 2016 by Life Management Academy

This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

International Standard Book Number (ISBN) : 978-81-908156-4-2

Printed and bound in India by

I am result of my own thoughts,

Contents Page No.

How big is your family? ...................................................... . 47

SELLING IS THE HIGHEST PAID JOB 100

SMARTIES GOAL & Inspirational writing: 106

Train the Trainer: Become a Life Skills Trainer 108

“The highest possible stage in human culture is when we

Which is the most important relationship?

It takes 90 days to form a habit.

Anger is a negative emotion. It's the biggest obstacle

I realised I need to clean my mind regularly to keep

Ego is the biggest obstacle towards the path of happiness

Success Action Exercise - A

Four stages of adult learning

Stage – 4: As I practise over a long Stage-4 I do not know what I know

Success Action Exercise

“Learning is the beginning of wealth.

Thoughts are two way swords:

Root cause of stress is THOUGHTS/MIND

1. Lay Blame Victim / Sufferer,

2. Justify (Failure)/ Excuse Aggressor

Replace ‘You with I’, otherwise ‘We’

No one can destroy us but our own thoughts destroy us

The most empowering position is to be a CREATOR. To say “I am Responsible for my Life

I am the result of my own thoughts

In case of suicide who kills whom?

Success Action Exercise: 1

I am observant of my thoughts, words I use in communication with self and others,

Time Management is Life Management

Every morning my purse is magically filled with 24 hrs of

Success Action Exercise: 2

2. How do you rate your time management (punctuality)?

4. How much time do you invest in your physical fitness?

5. How much time do you invest in meditation?

8. Where do you see yourself in time management in the next 30 days?

The master key to your growth is awareness about self

Rating: According to your perception about yourself

We all are suffering from psychosomatic illness?

Success Action Exercise 3

How much is your value?

Employee – Employer Relationship

Physical appearance Link - 1%

Values (character) Link - 90%.

“Wealth has gone nothing has gone,

Success Action Exercise - 4

1. What is my life about?

6. How do I want to be remembered?

And my Mission to Accomplish this through :___________________________

Emotion is energy in motion:

Stress Management Technique:

There are positive emotions and negative

Success & Happyness

Anger, frustration, revenge, jealousy,

Below are examples on how to write forgiveness: