You are on page 1of 8

Zaidi 1

Syeda Neha Zaidi

2021-10-0162

Syeda Habibah Hussain Rizvi

SS100: Writing and Communication, S4

13 April 2018

A Critique on “Give childhood back to children: if we want our offspring to have happy,

productive and moral lives, we must allow more time for play, not less”

In his article “Give childhood back to children”, Dr. Peter Gray records his response to

the 2014 news regarding the prospective developments, which would be made after the ‘School

Teachers Review Body’ reports back to the Education Secretary. Anticipating how this event

would lead to the increase in school hours, author elaborates the importance of ‘play’ and the

detrimental effects the lack of it would have on children, given that the school timings increase.

Having conducted several researches on child psychology, Dr. Gray has considerable insight into

the issue at hand. And it is with that knowledge and experience, he impregnates his article with

relevant examples and evidence, all the while maintaining a highly conversational tone, which

helps the reader in connecting with him. Also, the way he has organized the progression of his

argument, and the manner in which he effectively uses the Aristotelian appeals and add weight to

his claim. However, the credibility of the researches he mentioned is dubious, since he fails to

provide sources for them.

Since Dr. Gray strived to bring in an idea which is against the current norms of the

educational systems and the mindsets of people, he had to do so in a way which resulted in
Zaidi 2

consideration, not retaliation. Introducing such a thing requires extreme deliberation. The flow of

arguments and claims should be fluent and smooth. One should not just bombard the audience

with the claim, rather build a large, steady base and gradually culminate it. This is exactly what

the author has done. He does not begin directly with his claim. Instead, to make his argument

more effective, he first reminisces on his past, allowing people to make a connection with him.

By mentioning how ‘real problems’ (Gray) he faced could not have been solved using ‘formulae

or memorized answers’ (Gray), he allows the readers to also delve into their own lives and think

of similar instances, where their experiences, and not schooling, helped them. Having this

connection made, he ensures that the reader and he are on the same page.

To make one’s claim more impactful, it is necessary that one first exposes the

shortcomings of the opposing, but predominant and existing notion. Dr. Gray employs this tactic

very efficiently. Since the general masses’ opinion regarding the East Asian educational system

is highly positive, and since the author wants to negate the ideology this system was based on, he

first attempts to shatter its façade. He clearly establishes how idealizing the Chinese system is a

fallacy in itself, since the concerned government is itself realizing the shortcomings of its

educational plan, and is attempting to reverse it by issuing reports calling for ‘less time in

school’ (Gray). Stating how the ‘educators’ in these nations have increasingly being identifying

the ‘massive failure of their educational systems’, and mentioning the term ‘gaofen dineng’

(‘good at tests and bad at everything else’), he manages to tear away the veil which hid the flaws

of the said system (Gray). It was his reference to the ‘scholar and author Yong Zhao’, which

provoked the audience into thinking if it was right to blindly follow the Chinese system (Gray).

Having this done, he has created a vacuum for novel ideas in the brains of people, which he then
Zaidi 3

masterfully fills in using his claim and relevant examples. This smooth progression of ideas

makes his discourse very eloquent.

It is evident that the author wanted his public to connect with him. For that he has

employed a conversational tone, personal stories and imagery throughout his article. An informal

writing style builds an instant rapport with his audience, and this is something Dr. Gray

understands. His usage of first person language (‘I’), phrases like ‘my bet is that…’ and ‘keeping

my head…’, and simple language not only make the piece quite enjoyable and easily

understandable, but also helps him convey his idea in an efficient way (Gray).He has also

allowed the audience to develop a shared relation with him by mentioning some anecdotes, like

the death of his first wife. Combined with the vivid imagery (‘wrestled on the school grounds’,

‘climbed trees’) used in certain parts of the article to narrate some of these stories, these traits of

the article make the author appear as a more relatable person (Gray). This being done, the readers

feel that there is a shared ground, and therefore become more prone to accept the author’s theory.

The employment of this strategy has yielded a very positive effect, as it enables the author to

persuade his audience more efficaciously.

Dr. Gray explicitly utilizes the Aristotelian modes of persuasion. He intelligently

sprinkles these appeals throughout his article, increasing the persuasive nature of its content.

Establishing his expertise in the very beginning, by mentioning his credentials (‘research bio-

psychologist with a PhD.’) (Gray), he makes it clear that he is an expert in his field and has the

right experience to be commenting on the issue at hand. But this is not all. Throughout the

article, the author complements to this initial effort, by mentioning several researches, including

his own, to emphasize on the considerable knowledge he has in this field. It shows that the

author is not making unfounded claims, and gives the audience the impression that the he is, in
Zaidi 4

fact, highly competent. Moreover, he develops his argument using deductive reasoning, which is

essentially him building his logos. He uses facts to deduce results that relate to children. By

correlating the results from several experiments with his argument- ‘those who have to learn the

most, play the most’ with ‘human children who have to learn the most’ (Gray) - and by drawing

parallels between results of the observations on animals and their relationships with the human

offspring, e.g. ‘goat kids romp along the edges of cliffs’ and ‘young humans also play in such

ways’ (Gray), the writer makes the link between evidence and his claim crystal clear. This

technique of analogy, in the concerned article, proves to be very useful in terms of aiding the

audience understand the point Gray is striving to put forth. Since the comprehension has been

facilitated by the author, the readers naturally feel more drawn to the content.

Dr. Gray also adds factors which add to the emotional appeal of his argument. He uses

emotion to grasp attention in the beginning, and employs the same technique while ending, so

that he has his audience fully convinced. The author evokes the emotions of his readers in a

number of effective ways. Firstly, he begins with personal anecdotes. By mentioning how he has

to ‘unblock the toilet’, and how he faces ‘moral’ and ‘emotional’ problems (Gray), he attempts to

make his target public feel an association with him. With this, he is actually attempting to present

himself as normal a human being, as the people reading his article are. This allows him to build a

strong relation between himself and his audience. Secondly, the way he nostalgically

reminiscences on his childhood is quite intelligent as well. He prefers the use of ‘we’ as he

mentions his childhood so that the readers can imagine themselves playing with the author, or

with their friends, while he creates beautiful and vivid imagery of his school’s recess. With this,

he does two things: 1. He further strengthens the bond he had created earlier with his audience;

and 2. He shows how ‘childhood’ has evolved for the worse for the modern generations. He
Zaidi 5

creates a contrast, which allows one to actually ponder over the huge differences, and their

potential outcomes. Thirdly, just before he ends his article, Dr. Gray feeds the relevant public

with a powerful dose of emotional manipulation. He lightly mentions, and agrees with, how

people often regard experiments involving isolated bringing up of animals as cruel. But right

after that, he hits the audience with the strong reminder that this is exactly what humans have

been doing to their progeny for ‘over the past 50-60 years’ (Gray). This leaves a strong

emotional effect on the readers, and has the potential to persuade the unconvinced. Combined

with logos and ethos, the author cleverly stimulates the desired cognitive and emotional

responses.

Gray has infused several relevant examples and evidence throughout his article.

Whenever he makes a claim, or a point, he makes sure that it is backed up by substantial,

reasonable example. The types of evidence he has used to validate his claim are various. While

proving how flawed the Chinese educational system is, he shrewdly quotes a Chinese expert

(Yong Zhao) to stress on his argument, because generally, a person, outlining the defects of a

system he/she is integrated in, has the ability to move people more strongly (Gray). In addition to

this, while pointing out how the Chinese are now attempting to improve their schooling system,

he inserts the name of the relevant report which demanded a decrease in school timings and

dependence on test scores to evaluate school performance. All this strengthens his assertion.

Then in order to advocate his stance regarding more play for young children, he uses

evidence from a different array. The examples he presents are not very difficult to understand.

He communicates instances from everyday life, which are not alien or novel to the reader’s

mind. The examples are so ubiquitous that people often tend to ignore them. By bringing in those

facts, and by drawing links between them and the advantages of children’s play, he makes the
Zaidi 6

reader realize that all play is not meaningless. For example, he demonstrates how ‘dangerous’

play in reality is a means with which children ‘dose themselves with maximum fear’ so that later

in their lives they can ‘tolerate it without panicking’ (Gray). Also, Gray elaborates the

advantages of ‘socio-dramatic play’ which is a great tool for teaching the young how to ‘control

impulses and behave in accordance with social expectations’ (Gray). In addition to this, to

disprove the fallacious claim, regarding ‘school’ being the center of all knowledge, he reminds

the audience of Albert Einstein, a world renowned scientist, who claimed to have his ‘interest in

Physics and Mathematics’ destroyed by his schooling (Gray).

Lastly, as Gray contends on how the ‘dramatic decline in children’s opportunities in play’

is related to an ‘increase in childhood mental disorders’, he includes the results yielded by

various surveys and researches to stress on this (Gray). All of these distinct forms of evidence

contribute to add power, and grow the convincing element of his stance.

However, the quantity of evidence in an argument is not sufficient. It is the quality

which outweighs the numbers, and the quality can only be maintained by providing sources of

the stated proof. Despite the fact that Dr. Gray has included the results of a lot of researches, he

has provided citation for only one, and that was his own. The rest of the studies and

investigations were merely quoted as ‘clinical assessment questionnaires’, ‘other research’ and

‘research using…’ (Gray). This reduces the overall credibility of the argument, since it appears

that the author is just incorporating unsubstantiated claims in an attempt to have his readers agree

with him. Instead, the author should have cited all the researches he has mentioned clearly, so

that the effect he created by building his argument using all the previously stated techniques and

mechanisms is not lost.


Zaidi 7

Over all, the suggestion proposed by Dr. Gray is a plausible one. It is around us that we

can see the adverse effects limiting children to the confines of schools and academics, and

denying them leisure time are yielding. The sharp increase in teenage suicide rates, depression

and narcissism are testimonies of this. Dr. Gray’s argument, based on his knowledge and

expertise, has incorporated different aspects of this issue, and has also offered considerable

solutions, with benefits, for it. He has used various stylistic elements, like maintaining a

conversational tone, creating smooth flow of ideas, utilizing Aristotelian appeals, and mentioning

examples and evidence to build up on his claim. His article proves that academic pressure,

leading to lack of play opportunities, should be considered as a global issue, and concerned

institutions should come together and focus on ways to improve the current situation and make

the future a happy place for our progeny.


Zaidi 8

Works Cited

Gray, Peter. “Give childhood back to children: if we want our offspring to have happy,

productive and moral lives, we must allow more time for play, not less.” (2014): web.

You might also like