Sociology Assignment

Auto-ethnography

My childhood, unlike any other children, was full of sports, cartoons and fun-fights with
cousins as my background was of a joint family which helped me growing up among my
brothers and sisters making me introvert as I was bound by that circle only, thus making my
friends circle a bit smaller. So making new friends was a struggle for me as I would expect
everyone to be same as of my brothers and sisters as I have grown in that type of
environment but things were quite different out there. It was easy to make new friends but
difficult to retain one. People are different on the basis of their cultural capital. It means that
children usually grasp the nature of their parents or people around them, based on the
environment it develops changes our views and perspective.
As I’m from Punjab to be more specific Ludhiana, it’s a place where people are mostly are
kind-hearted and short-tempered, some of them are even soft-spoken as most of them are
Punjabi’s they are being seen as quite loud people. So as I grew up in a Punjabi environment
and have adapted to some of these changes.
Starting off with my schooling, it was a co-ed school where mostly every child interacted
with each other, teachers often make boys sit with girls in order to make the environment co-
operative. Our teachers till 3rd grade were actually quite nice to us they treated us like small
children, one who doesn’t know who to make friends or be friends with. Our teachers were
our mentor, parent and everything to us as our 6 hour stretch of school made us feel more like
home. So whatever we studied whatever we learned whatever we see as a part of our
behaviour everything accumulated from our school. I did make friends but only some of them
remained as my friends rest just became part of my mobile phone contacts. School was where
I learned the meaning of friends, jokes and many things, describing each and everything
would be me endlessly writing this assignment. So I would like to start my school life with
my 1st grade, I used to play basketball then suddenly with a slip of my foot I fall on the
ground and started crying as I was a bit hurt, my colleagues, started laughing at me and said
“Are you a girl?” why are you crying so bad, I didn’t know what to say all I felt at that time
was pain and tears in my eyes that my colleagues would pass such a comment when I was
hurt. At that I didn’t evaluate that thought it was later I realized that it was there cultural
capital that made them taught that only girls cry and boys are supposed to be brave, in my
sense, you cry when you are in pain whether is it physical or emotional. Crying helps you out
your anger, pain fear, anxiety, etc. Crying is a real healing tool. We should be brave every
time this doesn’t mean that only boys are allowed to be brave or they should be brave and
girls should sit and go cry to their moms. Hence we all should be brave and strong. Our
cultural capital really modifies are thinking and perspective, in such an environment we
forget what is right and what is wrong, we just hold our hand with our society and start
behaving like this. We ourselves should know what is right and wrong for us. Moving onto
my 4th grade, things started to change for the ones who don’t really interact with their
opposite sex. Our teachers made us sit in such a way that a boy must sit with a girl and there
was a rotation of seats, this not increased interaction but helped in building up new friends
and choosing among the one with whom you are comfortable. At the end of the 4th grade, it
was found out that most of them were comfortable around their own sex, they are
comfortable with them and share most of their things with them only. Most of them couldn’t
make or can’t retain opposite sex friend because they were being judged by their own friends
and various comments were passed onto them by not only by their friends but also by random
strangers making them uncomfortable or around each other. In Punjab, if a boy is hanging out
with a girl people will see them as if these two are dating with each other they wouldn’t see
them as normal friends being with each other or just a brother-sister thing is there. People
often judge them on the basis of the sexes of the people or with whom they around. This
creates fear among one of those friends, fear of being judged thus ruining their friendship.
People in Ludhiana stares a lot and sometimes pass vague comments on people, which
disturbs the privacy of the people or even make them feel insecure. As I passed my 5th grade
things changed thereafter, firstly I got flunk in my social studies subject which not only made
me fail sad but also made me feel ashamed as in my family no one fails and I was the one
who not only got failed but also brought shame to my parents as none of them have expected
such a thing from my part. So they arranged a tuition for me. Tuition played an important role
in my development. Development not as it made me studious or something like that, in fact, it
was a place unlike school you are not surrounded by 60 students on contrary there are about
6-7 students and you can study peacefully, you can even ask questions not only related to
your course but in relation with your life too. Thus it helped me in my overall development as
I discovered my interests, I pursed with athletics and keyboard. Athletics helped me in
achieving my fitness agenda and apart from that it helped me attaining certain strength and
endurance. As my passion drive me towards competitions, I got to know about people who
were to do anything to achieve it, competition there was so high that even the best could have
lost it, the anxiety and nervousness levels over there are so high such that even the loser
could have been a winner and winner could have been a loser. Moving onto class 9th where I
gave up my passions over studies. I was warned before by my parents, cousins and even
mentors that this class was tough and requires your full effort, so I didn’t want to feel that
same way as it was earlier in the 6th grade so I gave up everything that became a huddle in
my academics. Gender inequality began when I moved onto 10th grade. Teachers didn’t allow
boys and girls to seat together or even have a word together. During our quizzes also unlike
earlier times they didn’t form mix group of boys and girls , instead they only boys and girls
group to avoid interaction. It made me feel as if I’m not living in a co-ed school, the feeling
was even worst as I could feel that I can’t really interact with anyone out there, as if I was in
some jail. Moving onto 11th and 12th grade, as I was from the CBSE board we were offered
various streams and based on your passion or your point of interest you make a decision.
Most of my friends got split as they choose different streams, some of them left and some
were there. There were even new admissions out there. A step towards 11th grade was step
towards 1st grade as you got to make new friends again. It was tough as some people out there
were from different regions, thus approaching them with the attitude that we have developed
of our culture isn’t quite compatible. I did encounter with different people based upon their
cultural capital, I got to know about the culture of the other people, some of them made
friends who were quite rich, some made friends on the basis of the culture of the people,
while some liked to be alone. So my habitus shaped as my past when structured with my
present it made me realise that all these years I love being alone to myself, it did made me
realise that I was an introvert but it also made me feel who I was. So being alone not only
tells you about yourself but it also helps in discovering your passions. So it raged
photography as one of my passions.
Till now I have seen gender inequality not in my school alone, but apart from the school I
have seen gender equality in my society as well. There’s was an incident were a couple was
travelling a motorcycle and suddenly the Rikshavalla in front of them made a turn, they both
collided with each other and it was seen that the women was speaking for the wrong action of
the Rikshavalla who was making an illegal turn and there were people gathered around that
scene and they started passing random comments “look at that girl that how is she speaking,
she even got a man for herself” seeing that made me feel our society is so backward,
everyone has a right to speak for yourself. There was another incident in one of my mom’s
friends circle where one of her friends wanted to work with her husband in his manufacturing
unit, her husband denied it by saying that you are just a women and you were good with
household work only, although she was an MBA graduate her husband’s brother said that
what will our workforce think about it, what will they think when they will see a women,
working in a factory. All these sayings reflected gender inequality prevailing in our society.
Things were not over yet, my maid who used to work in my house for most of the time was
brutally beaten up by her husband because she couldn’t make that amount of money that her
husband expects from her. This shows male dominance prevailing in the society, as her wife
is doing her best under the circumstances still she’s been beaten up. Things are worse outside
your home, people are not safe, they don’t raise voice for themselves instead they are being
suppressed under such conditions and are pressed until that point until it breaks them apart
that is suicide. As I was done with my 12th grade I gave exam for various colleges, at that
time I realised that my parents were investing so much in me that they even got a coaching
class for me, it made me so motivated that I wanted to get in each and every college so that I
could make my parents feel proud. At the end I did make them proud by getting into Jindal
Global University. They were really happy that I have made it and their happiness was all I
ever wanted to see. So moving onto my first day of college, things were different out here,
there were people over here from all over India. As I was familiar with the northern culture
there wasn’t much change in the attitude, but as I interacted with people of Madhya Pradesh
they were such nice and decent people that made me realise that the culture that they have
inherited or where they have been grown up is such a knowledgeable and fun environment
where any child would be happy, so personally I liked them. As some of my classmates were
from Rajasthan so getting to know them was quite interesting as they usually gave you
respect by using a gesture of saying “Ji” with every sentence making you feel so respectful
that you will never turn your back on them. By so far my experience is Jindal is being real
good as there people out here unlike Punjab not stare at you neither judge at your decisions
rather they appreciate whatever you say and respects your decision.

Sambhav Jain
20172061
BBA(HONS) Section-B