MEMO

To: Professor Zachary Williamson

From: Natalie Wiley
Date: January 17th, 2019
Subject: Prose Project 1

This memo presents my prose style of writing in an essay I wrote for a wildfire management
class. The sections below will discuss weaknesses I found using styles of concise, precise and
direct writings along with noticeable errors.

Be Concise
To be concise with your writing means to use only what is necessary for your audience. Concise
writings allow the reader to grasp the topic with the least amount of text. While reviewing my
writing, I looked for redundant words, unnecessary modifiers and writing “lard”.

Redundant words
I found in my writing that I would over use names to address my topic in a
sentence. For example:

 These green house gases are a leading cause of climate change, which results in
climate change leading to a larger amount of wildfires.
I had already addressed the topic of climate change in the beginning of the sentence,
it is redundant to use that phrase again.

Dead Phrases
I noticed I regularly add extra words as ways to describe. For example:

 Wildfires can burn for days and even weeks, the smoke from these fires can settle
into valleys and cause hazier skies.
Adding the extra words, “and even weeks” was unnecessary in explaining the amount
of time a wildfire can burn.

Unnecessary Modifiers
I found a couple unnecessary modifiers within my writing such as the use of the
word “extremely”. For example:
  People with heart and lung conditions such as bronchitis, asthma or heart disease
are more extremely sensitive to the effects from smoke
Modifiers such as extremely is an adverb that is unnecessary when describing something.

Be Precise
Being precise means the writer is accurate and exact. To be precise you must use terminology
that is appropriate for the audience and their knowledge level, consistently using terms and
adding details that are required to explain the writer’s topic. I found that my writing was already
precise. For example:

 Smoke from wildfires has numerous consequences to our environment. Fire

emissions vary from different locations and fire season. Places such as Central
America and Mexico experience extreme fire in the spring, whereas North
America experiences fire season in the summer (Atmospheric Environment 2006).
This means throughout the year you will see various areas with poor air quality
and particulate matter. Regions such as Alaska and the West see a majority of big
fires across the United States.
This paragraph exhibits that my essay was precise. I used consistent terms and use a level of
detail that would grasp my audience of wildfire experts. I also used appropriate technical
terminology such as “particulate matter”.

Be Direct
To be direct means to be straightforward. To take your writing and get to your point as actively
as possible by using active verbs, voice and topic position.

Active Verbs
Verbs that are active are descriptive and have thought behind them. Verbs that are
passive are only appropriate in the concept of defining a word. I found that I had multiple active
verbs within my writing. For example:

 Smoke is composed of carbon dioxide, water particles and carbon monoxide (EPA
2017).
Using the verb composed was a stronger choice than a passive verb such as made.

Passive Verbs
Passive verbs are appropriate when defining a word. When passive verbs are used to
frequently, they make the writers piece lack energy. In my essay, I found that my use of passive
verbs fit well into my text. For example:

 Particulate matter is composed of microscopic solids and liquids formed in the air
from smoke.
This example of a passive verb is giving the definition of a piece of jargon in my writing.
Active and Passive Voice
To have an active voice when writing means to bring action to the subject or your
sentence. A passive voice is one where the person/object doing the action is implied. I found in
my writing that there was little active voice but large amount of passive voice since my essay
was scientific writing. For example:

 Smoke is compromised mainly of carbon dioxide, water particles and carbon

monoxide (EPA 2017).
This sentence contains an active voice since it is explaining actively what smoke it made
of.

 They account for one-fifth of all emissions (USDA Forest Service 2002).
This sentence shows a passive voice since the word “they” is implying wildfires.

Topic Position
Topic position is the beginning sentences of a paragraph that direct where the subject is
going. Using a topic sentence helps to guide your readers in the direction your writing is going to
take. I felt that my essay used topic sentences well within my writing. For example:

 Smoke from wildfires has numerous consequences to our environment. Fire

emissions vary from different locations and fire season.
This topic sentence is meant to tell readers that they are about to read on what effects
wildfires have on the environment.

Stress Position
Readers often use the ending sentences of a paragraph to fully grasp the point the writing
is trying to convey. The audience is looking for information that summarizes the key points. If
there is no stress emphasis, the reader is left not knowing what the writer was trying to say. In
my essay, there was an abundance of stress positions throughout. For example:

 No one thinks of what damage it can do to internal sources such as lungs and

overall health caused by the air pollution and smoke generated from fires.

Wildfire smoke has harmful effects to the environment, ecosystem and our overall

health. Poor air quality from fires is the silent killer that we all should have more

awareness of.

Here are the finishing sentences of a paragraph within my essay. It wrapped up the point I
was trying to provide of the damage smoke has on the public’s health.
Conclusion
In my wildfire essay, I found that overall my pose writing style was precise and
direct in the sense that I used appropriate language for my audiences skill level, was clear
in my sentence structure of topic and stress positions and that my use of active and
passive verbs was well thought out for a technical prose writing. Noticeable errors within
my writing were with being concise. There was a decent amount of repeated words and
redundant phrases along with multiple unnecessary modifiers. There was plenty of room
for improvement throughout my writing but overall, my audience would be able to
understand clearly the message I was providing in my essay.