The importance of having positive goals

Buddhist monks who meditated in the Tien Tai mountains in the

Shixuan
province of China hundreds of years ago had a specific method of
dealing
with their negative emotions during meditation. If negative thoughts
came into
their heads while they were meditating they would become conscious
of these
thoughts – then think of something that was opposite.

For example, if they were thinking negatively about someone, they

would find
something about them that was positive, or if they were thinking
about something
that was a problem for them they would try to imagine it solved in the
future. By
doing this they could once more find tranquillity in their meditation.18
Like the Tien Tai monks, we too can find ways to retrain our mind to
think
positively. One way of doing this is by constructing positive goals for
ourselves.
If we listen to the recurring thoughts that go through our heads we will
find
some that come back persistently. These could be thoughts such as,
‘I’ll never
get what I want in life’, ‘Don’t trust anybody – they’ll only let you
down’, or, ‘I
always fail at everything I do’. Negative thoughts tend to become self-
fulfilling
prophecies, bringing with them emotional turmoil and possible ill
health.
Sometimes just one negative thought can be at the root of many
negative
experiences but we may be unaware of the thought. For example you
may think
‘The good times will all go wrong’, and as a result you notice that
every time
you are enjoying yourself or doing something successfully you feel
anxious
and unsettled but don’t know why. You may often be aware of your
negative
thoughts but find it difficult to stop them. If you are aware that you
have a
recurring negative thought, it can be useful to try to turn it into a
positive
outcome or goal.

Six steps to constructing a positive goal

Our world is a manifestation of our thoughts. If we think negatively we
will have
negative experiences in our lives; if we think positively our life will
become
more positive. Recognizing our negative thoughts is the first step to
translating
them into something more positive.
Sometimes we already have an idea of what we want, but wish to fine-
tune it.
Setting the goal and repeating it to ourselves will enable us to imagine
what it
will be like when we have what we want.

These are the golden rules to help us to construct a positive goal.

1. Keep it in the present. Rather than saying, ‘I will be successful’,
it is better to
say, ‘I am successful’. If this sounds too strong we might soften the
sentence
by saying, ‘I allow myself to be successful’. If the goal is not stated in
the
present it will continue to be in the future so will probably never
happen.
2. Keep it positive. Do not construct a sentence that contains a
negative word
such as ‘not’ or ‘no’. This is because the mind does not translate a
negative
word. The mind always thinks in pictures. For example, if we say, ‘I
don’t
have insomnia’, we can’t picture it. On the other hand if we say, ‘I
allow
myself to have deep and nourishing sleep at night’, we can picture
ourselves
deeply asleep at the end of the day.
3. Keep it simple and achievable. A goal that has too many parts
becomes
complicated and is less likely to manifest. For example, if we say ‘I
allow
myself to have a good job, a house, a car and a good relationship’, we
are
diluting the possibilities of achieving any of these things. If we stop to
think
about what’s behind wanting these things and realize, for example,
that we
expect them to bring us contentment and peace, then it might be
better to
say ‘I have the things which bring me contentment and peace’. It is
then
more likely that we will get what we want rather than what we think
we
want.
4. Put yourself in the goal. If you have a picture or sense of
yourself achieving
the goal it is best that this shows you having achieved it, in order for it
to
manifest. For example, if you want to buy a new pair of trousers it is
best
to see yourself wearing the trousers. If you see the trousers but you
are not
wearing them they might be in a shop waiting for you but you might
never
find them!
5. Focus on the end result not on the process of doing it.
Staying with the
example above, if you imagine yourself shopping for trousers, you
might
wander around the shops all day but never find the pair of trousers
you
want. On the other hand if see yourself wearing the new trousers you
are
more likely to get the outcome you desire.

Once you have constructed your outcome:

6. Consider what might happen if you did get the goal you
desire. Think
about both the negative and the positive implications. If, for example,
you
state ‘I allow myself to meet the person of my dreams’, this might
have
many unwanted repercussions. The person of your dreams might live
in
another country, continually be unfaithful or have some bad habits
you
didn’t predict. Think carefully about your goal and choose the wording
with
care!
Once you have completed the six steps above, you will have
constructed a
positive outcome for yourself. You might remember it by repeating it
to yourself
or writing it down. As you go over your goal it is useful to imagine
what it will
be like when you have it, as vividly as possible.