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Culture Documents
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B Facebook and the individual
I lf,l
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r ñ!l How Facebook helps to make relationships
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Fifteen Theses on'§7hat As noted in the portrait of the businessman Burton, the anthropo-
FÍi logical starting point in understanding Facebook is to appreciate
lh
Iür
Facebook Might Be thát each and éviry individual was quite literally a social network-
f'll ing site long before Facebook existed. Anthropologists tend to
foóus upon kinship in which we see not individuals but always
iH personJrehtive to other persons. Even in urban situations such
il!
I !:.:
tb. ás London, perhaps the most common lvay to forge new'relation-
U1ü
ships has always been via the relationships we already have, -the
f§rii
f$, friends of friends or relatives. Sometimes this is explicit, as when
you ask your best friend to help you find a date, or whe¡ Burton's
business friends ask him to help them find a new profitable con-
nection. At other times, this is less explicit, just hanging around
So far, Facebook has been discussed as Fasbook, its local mani- with friends of friends. Facebook doesn't invent social networking
festation in Trinidadian culture. §lithout this injection of cultural but it certainly facilitates and expands it.
relativism, we could easily be drawn into making vast gener- Most people feel awkward in the company of people they barely
alizations about what Facebook is and its social consequences, know, sáffi-conscious about the possible effect of their words and
based on assumptions about the functions of technology or some actions. Facebook provides an attractive buffer in this regard. It
general model of human psychology. \Mith the protective caveat helps us to find out a considerable amount about potential friends,
of cultural relativism, we have reached the point where it should without requiring any awkward face-to-face interaction. As they
be safe to engage tentatively with some of the more general con- develop, móre serious relationships are even more fraught-with
sequences of Facebook. These remain tentative since the sources issues óf potential embarrassment and misunderstanding. This is
foi generalization are not yet robust. The main evidence will still partly beCause relationships often assume equivalence, that at any
be the research in Trinidad, together with my wider experience of given time both partners are approximately. equal in their com-
Facebook as a user with friends in the UK and other countries. In mitment. Fiction is full of the problems of one person wanting
addition, this is the point of engagement with the burgeoning lit- to commit.before the other is ready, or one per§on misinterpret-
erature that is currently emerging about Facebook through various ing signals as to how much someone else really wants them to
acadernic books and papers, though I tend to make only very spend time together. Facebook enables people to research others
slight use of iournalism and anecdote since, with a base of four before they decide whether to invest themselves in a new relation-
hunclred million users, almost anything that can happen today will ship. This is most often done anonymously rvithout that person
also happen on Facebook, but an instance is not of itself a sign of knówing they are being researched. In Aaron's and Alana's por-
auything consequential. These fifteen theses will commence with traits, Facebook is a place for banter and chat, especially between
issues of personal relationships, proceed to the idea of Facebook young men and women. They can thereby get to know about
as comrnunity and conclude by considering other transformations, each other without the dread embarrassment of actually asking
such as those of time and space. for a date and possibly being refused. Many people also research
long-term frienás, whom they are about to meqt again, in order to
savá themselves from the embarrassment of having fotgotten srimp
766 The Anthropology of Facebook Fifteen Theses on'What Facebook Might Be 167
important life event or more uivial details about what they have which was not the case when they were students, yet I still never
been doing for the last few days so that, when they do meer, they expect to see them again. I don't think any of us care whether or
can seem up-to-speed on the friendship itself. not we are properly called a friend.
Prior to Facebook, the internet had already developed as a The re¿son for the prevalence of such debates may be more
vast dating agency. Some of the most significant social network- than just pedantic semantics. In conversations about Facebook,
ing sites, such as Friendster, were initially developed largely with there is a common theme that pertains to a Íear of the modern.
this function in mind.1 In Trinidad, the knowledge that men and This is the fear that we are all becoming more superficial, that
women certainly check each other out is one of the key reasons for Facebook friends represent a kind of inflation that diminishes the
looking fit and sexy online. In the first portrait, Marvin puts rhis at value of prior or true friendship. I see no evidence that this is the
'We
its crudest when he claims that, whatever relationships people are case: close friends are even more intensely in touch. can also
in, they also always fantasize about 'trading up'. theorize about how Facebook can proliferate friendship without
Much of the most tedious literature on Facebook concerns the diminishing it by observing that Facebook clearly provides greater
question of whether a friend. on Facebook is a real friend. This efficiencies in friendship. Thanks to Facebook, one can maintain
blithely ignores the vast spectrum of people we may choose to call a friendship with less expenditure of time or dependency upon
friends in offline worlds.2 There is no one so stupid as to presume transport. It is possible to argue that driving two hours to see
that all their 700 friends on Facebook are suddenly equivalent someáne is a sign of deep friendship. But it is equally possible to
to close offline friends. One rather neat academic paper showed argue that using those two hours in direct IM communication,
college students being impressed by peers whose Facebook friends diJcussing, for áxample, the breakup of someone else's relation-
numbered up to 302, but over this number the esteem in which ship or ieciprocally viewing our activities, makes for a deeper
they are held falls again.3 We recognize that there is a huge spec- friendship tñan sitting in traffic just so we can meet face to
trum of actual interest or concern among Facebook friends. Best face.
friends, who are barely out of each other's company, may also Ethnographic fieldwork over several proiects provides evidence
post incessantly on each other's walls. They will commonly be that comhunicative technologies can have a significant effect on
best Facebook friends. Equally, there are people who are friended sexual relationships.'Working on the impact of mobile phones in
for the sole purpose of adding to rhe total number of friends, so Jamaica,a it seeméd very likely that the increase in the ease
with
that the act of Facebook friending can be inconsequential. More *tri.tt people can have private personal conversations had, in and
importandy, people have quickly come to recognize the new genre of itself, n illi.it or multiple sexual liaisons more common and
of purely Facebook friends, people you come to know much "de
easier to get away with. This may be one of the most significant
better because you see their postings every day. You may occa- cooseqo"ñ.es of ihe spread of mobile phones. By contrast, while
sionally comment on them but you are never likely to meer them Facebáok can also bJ used for secret assignations, the evidence
in any other capacity than on Facebook. §íhen I first went onto from Trinidad suggests that in the main it has the opposite effect.
Facebook, I agreed to be friended by ex-studenrs, though after No one ever knows who might be taking a picture of them and
a short while I stopped this. But some of those early Facebook posring it on Facebook. Almost evefyone had stories about friends
friends are people I feel I have now come to know quite well, who hád had photos posted with people they were not supposed
to have been with. My goess would be that Trinis are having
I boyd, d. and Ellison, N, (2007), 'social Networking Sites: De6nition, History and less illicit or multiple sexual relationships simply because it has
Scholarship', Journal of Computer-Mediated C,ommunication l3(1), article 11, http'Jl
I 3/issue 1/boyd.ellison.htual. become that much harder to keep these from the public gaze, in
2 icmc.indiana.edu/vol
Pahl, R. (20001, On Friendship, Cambridger Poliry.
3 Ton6 S., Van Der Heide, B. and Langwell, L. (2008), 'Too Much of a Good Thing? The
Relationship Berween Number of Friends and Interpersonal Impressions on Face6ook', 4 Horsr, H. and Miller, D. (2006), The CeIl Phone: Anthropology of Cotnmunication.
Joumal of Compat*-Mediated C,ommanication 13: 531-49, Oxford: Berg.
Fifteen Theses on What Facebook Migbt Be 769
168 The Anthropology ofFacebook
which case, Facebook and mobile phories work in direct opposi- retaining relationships: those of Arvind and Dr Karamath' Arvind
tion to each other. ;;;;- fr; ;;ny oih.tt, both male and female, who could be
This exposure can also devastate established relationships, as in á.r.ribt¿ as shy, introverted or lacking-in confidence' Quite often'
the case of Marvin, mainly through making partners much more ;;ht, .r.", tir'i. can be because they have been relatively unsuc-
aware of other friendships. Facebook also facilitates the stalking ;;*fri ro f"i in life. They haven't had the education, the work
of partner's friends. As one woman put it, to frt, the partner tLey would have wanted' For Arvind it
"lá,
i" párribl. ihat iarmv¡lle ripre_sents a turnaround in his fortunes
'You check their page religiously. OK did they add someone new i;;ii;|;. r.gardr. He is wtrking to educare himself towards a
because that number was 747 yesterday and now it's 148 today. i.ü ,r¿ ,lrutik. ,o FarmVille, towatds. more and perhaps deeper
'f.i.narfrípr. Time will tell. It is doubtful that Facebook is a
You can get obsessive about it. I'm trying not to, but it's just hard
when you see it. I think some of them do it on purpose. Because I ;;;;;;; can make all those who find relationships difficult sud-
think Trinis in general iust like that bacchanal and confusion and áurrlu more secure in this task. But, in the case of fuvind, it clearly
the fact that I could break up someone's relationship, even though I ñ;61, ;;l ii is unlikely that his case is ¡nusual' Facebook mav
ul"á i.n.., rathef than resolve such basic inequalities. Another
don't want them myself. I think so, it's very spiteful.' shy
male who spends a great deal of time on Facebook looking at the
She is not suggesting Facebook creates such activity, but it helps to i.r of others il-o.t never has the confidence to post about
make it more effective in destroying established relationships - see "",iri He stands in contrast to confident extraverts who con-
ii-.lff.
Munn on witchcraft below, p.274. .i"riiv t"t e postings themselves but may not spend much time
Finally, there is the role of Faceboolc in the breakup of rela- looking at those of others.
tionships. Here we possess an ideal point of reference in one of -
A ;;.rir"sly noted more general example is that of the Indian
the most extensive anthropological studies of the consequences southtrinidad, a society in which the indi-
of Facebook, Ilana Gershon'ss ccent book about relation- -o*'r, of ceniral and the
vidual woman was ffaditionally held responsible for upholding
ship breakup amongst US students. She is able to provide much of her iamilv. When thev proved to be.far
more detail about three important aspects of Facebook: firstly,
ñ;;;rt*;;d hono.rtadventuro,,r-on Facebook tihan anyone had
more forthcoming and
the way it is employed and the consequences of this new public expected, ,o*. .á* this as demonstrating that they were
growing
arena within which breakup may occur; secondly, the way people #;;;;;;rt, while othefs saw it as merely external evidence
respond to the actual choice of Facebook as opposed to face-to- of a shift that had already occurred' Either way, it-is clear that
face or phone or other media as the mode for actually breaking up;
f"".U".t provides an additional space for personal expression'
and thirdly, she documents the degree to which the recent advent á *or. creative or extravert public presence, which
may
of Facebook means that people are still very uncertain as to how "rp..irffy
pieviousiy have been much restricted'
to interpret other people's selection of these specific media, creat- ' Facebo'ok seems to be capable not iust of making relation-
ing considerable scope for misunderstanding in what is an already rhiñ;-d;;* áf "o-p.nsating f* flt':.tt thatinmav have.e.nded
highly sensitive situation. ;ú;: O". of the key hndings óf *y fieldwork Trinidad
being site
is the
largely
,roiai* with which ha""book is moving from a
How Facebook helps those who struggle with relationships áá-irá*¿ by student use, and youth in general, to becoming. an
There are two portraits here that speak.most clearly to the way
inr*-.n, available to people of all ages. Although conservatism with
and reluctance to embrac. n.* technology is still associated
Facebook assists those who have problems in either making or f"ine oldrr, the company's own statistics show that the n'lost rapiel
5 Gershon, I. (2010), Breakup 2,0: Disanneaing Ouer Neut Media. lthaca: Corrrell
i*ir""r.r ií Facebooi usage in Trinidad correlate with increasing
University Press. ;;. D, ilramath is not tñat old but he stands for all those facing
t70 The Anthropology of Facebook Fi{teen Theses on'What Facebook Might Be 177
inueasing disability that affects their capacity to socialize. The turn to when we are feeling lonely, depressed or bored, when life
individual in this case is the very opposite of shy and introvert: seems to have less purpose than usual. our best friend is the one
Dr Karamath was used to being the life and soul of the most cos- who is least likelyto mind being disturbed when having *.rt, o,
mopolitan o{ parties. For him, Facebook has ridden to the rescue wanting to go to sleep, because they sense our deep neeá "to
¡ost to ñrf.
when physical disability seemed destined to end that sociable life. in long,-gossipy discussiohs about ourselves or others, "ogug.
These are just two examples of the importance of Facebook for us feel better. one advd¡tage of Facebook is that ii i, ,iány
those whose social life has become restricted. As the demographic " besr
reliable best friend. Even át 3 a.m., when not even our bestest
profile of Facebook has changed, more and more groups become friend wants to be disturbed, we can turn to Facebook, f..i .or-
'nected
potentially enabled. [t is entirely possible that in the longer term with all those other fiíes and.o*" our less lonel'y an¿ ü*,
Facebook will be dominated by three groups: the elderly; mothers bored, qhough, of coursq, we may also end up more d.ú;;j
who find they have to stay at home with young children; and those jealous because of the ret elationsabout all thtse
very ",
oth.,
who feel shy, or less attractiye, or less confident, in face-to-face people who don't seem lonely and bored. But this caá also""ti""h"pp"n .,I
i:
iT
situations. In some measure, then, Facebook may substitute for after face-to-face chats witfr actual best friends. Following iiom llii'
til,
face-to-face relationships but there is also plenty of evillence from the previous point, there are people who see themselves á irr.- ir'
':i
Arvind and others that it enables people to gain more experience deemably unatrractive and shunnei by those who, in p"Uii", ¿"nt t:
and confidence, which in turn facilitate offline relationships. This want to be associated with them. Fieldwork suggested thir á, not ¡
would then become Facebook's most positive achievement with lnc.ojnmgn, especially for_ school-age children. Such people ofren
regard to individual welfare. find Facebook a lot more forgiving ánd benign. you can,isa¡rh*
the photos on someone elsels Faiebook sitá were posted
ó*in-
cally for you to see, but neither can you say they i"r.rr,t.'Oo."
Faceboah as a meta-friend
there, they are part of your social life.
'What
if, instead of seeing Facebook as a means of facilitating Journalism is already rife with extreme srories of Facebook,s
friendships between people, many of us used friendships between negative impacts. It ma¡1 be.held responsible for people becoming
people to facilitate a relationship to Facebook itself? §(ihat if jealous and murdering their lover, or-for paedophiric groo*i"g.
ió
someone puts, under the title of relationship status, 'Married to a lesser extenr, rhere are áfso positive st*ie*bort háw raceEook ;t,
t:lrr
Facebook LOL'? A common trope in modern discourse is that we has stopped someone from iommitting suicide and rr.rp, ,t o." iii:
feel we live in an era of materialism or fetishism, such that proper who are depressed. §flith i00 million oi.r., *. can be pri"y,"o
iii
relationships befween people are being replaced by relationships that most srories and anecdotes abour what Facebook might be : ri;
to things instead. This is a rather simplistic rendition of our world. capable of doing are true, however extreme. But one reasá this ti
In the final essay in this book, we shall see that antfuopologists do volume barely refers ro journalism and anecdote, preferring ii
between persons, for example kin relations around marriage, are involved in those cases.
-It is, howeveq nor necessary to suggest '!
usually seen as a means to develop culture, for example through that Facebook as a mera'best friend necéssarily cures dlpresriJí or
,iii
exchange. So a relationship to Facebook as a thing is not axiomati- prevents suicide. we ca-n still recognize that iris plausible that, for ti
Given that it is a social network, perhaps the simplest idiom for friendships to become.signifiiant as a friend in its own right, riil
conceiving of this relationship to Facebook itself is to think of it Facebook is somewhere we can talk as much as we like] with or iI
as a sort of meta-best friend. In the popular culture of TV, in pro- without responses from others. It is a site that genuinely *¿¿r"rrm ,l¡
il
grammes such as Sex and the City, a best friend is the person we the perennial problem df boredom, especially"r..rrrgá il;;;;, ,tiili
i i[lti
itrlfll
,ffi
liül
172 The Antbropology ofFacebook Fifteen Theses on What Facebook Might Be 173
without necessarily imposing on rhe time of others. It has its I around which Facebook has most often had to retreat
in the
it doesn't get drunk when wi do. It doesn,t always comment Íace ofuser concern, accusations that it has tended to m¿ke
when we want it to. You can only .sort of, havá sex with it. "nd
ffansDarencv, as opposed to privacy, its default setting'8
But it is
at a meta-level, i!
ryuy serve. Some of the most poignant exam ¡ro át""t tt rt th. sñock is as much a result of the wáy user§antici- §eem
we found included rhe case of a person who'pofted consta ."ÁfáiáUf. with far more traüsparency than had been
about a premature baby, and anóther of someore *fr" p.rr.¿ oated. Academics are increasingly óurbed by state and institutional
a_bout a parenr afflicted with terminal illness. It was observed thet 'r"ifráti*r concerned with the legal issues of data protection yet,
of
these individuals did not seem roo concerned if the responses tfúy rrá"ii"t.á"sly, they ,rrdy " *otld in which the prophylactics are
private Parts
received were not always from people they knew welr-. Facebooki Drivacy are being steadily removed and the most
w1s
¡he
public sharing of suffering, the feeilng that Facebook was i;i;Ñ;;;Jil;"bii"' In rerponse, acad.emics are coming up with
a 'witness'to suffering that might be catharticln its own right. The ."iJ.p,t, such Ls 'participa:tory surveillance',e which recognize
fact that Facebook is made up of actual people may give it-unprec. ;ñ;;;'r*, of Facebook ,"L* to see positive as well as negative
edented ggw"-r and plausibility to aci ln'this ájr-p"r.rr:-lik* consequences to this loss of privacy'
pnrrient
manner. The downside to this relationship was very evident in the Once again, we need to ,ddttti such issues, not-with
pormait_of Joseph and Nneka and the BlaikBerry. §tr ir,;;l ¡"* ii4, " -ore cautious and sensitive evaluation of our
-"y use rhe
phrase 'addicted to Facebook' a little too easily and loosely. But portraits in this collection is
ñ"áii-J. Ore of the most striking
of fiction. She exists as
forJoseph, Nneka's addiction was as lethal to their reratio"Jrrip ,t ;;r;-iy"rh";"f Aiani. She is not an invintion
if she had been addicted to heroin. clearly, we cannor dismiss the int.nr.ty prívate person' someone really quite obsessive about
possibility that Facebook may indeed become a fetish. "r,
her irrn"r ptit"ty. Añd yet at the same time she is one
of the most
qualms about blogging' or
;;;ifi" F;.bool po.t"t.. Aiani has no of public spaces. she
Facebook as transforming oar relationship to priuacy ñ.;;ñ t; the media or any_other number
in all manner
is a consumniate performer who has a keen interest
If there ong thing that shocks those who either rarely use or do intended to ."p"titn.nt and play with the very idea of the
s of
not use Facebook, it is the awareness of how little regard people "ra, blcomes clear irom her portrait is that' far
;;;;;il;;-wn* two facets of her
may have for F¿cebook,s porenrial ro desrroy privacyf \fhrt prr_ iro* t[r.r. bbing a contradiction between these a means to
as
turbs them mosr is not that there is a failure tá undérstand ther. p-.t*n*tiry, she"uses the public posting on,Facebook
consequences but that nonetheless there is the deliberate and inten- 'h;ñ;;;;J pr"r.ru"'h"r viál privacv' Theportrailtnd* with a
that manip-
tional use of Facebook- to_tansform the private into the public. vision of the avatar, the unkno*n iil.nt and hidden
self
extreme, but
§flhy on earth would a husband utter tendir words of endearment ;i;* i"áitrrififgniypublic
"h"tp
active self. Ajani is surely
to his wife on Facebook? Isn,t that somerhins f", ifr. ,iirr* ;ñ;t ;h"r"by ilarify something. that is relatively common.
their bedroom? \Vhy should people admit 1o hlugely "f The mistake is to imagine people oñly i' terms of the particular
"-ü"rrr.rirrg
incidents and even post phoios of tho.e incideits where a huge
number of other people can see them? Onb of the earliest prp.'r,
Ioumal of Cot?tq1'ttet-
on the topic was called 'Facebook,s ..privacy Trainwreck-,,,.6 It Privacy: Attitudes, Behaviors,
ji
and Unintended Consequence'' iTo
r91{.ator?
Mediated Communication r ri,'s¡:ióéiü'*i"tt, Á'- tz0o8Í' -ctt"h 1.
has dominated discussion about the consequences of Facebook, i'd ü;¡p;;;'M;;ri M;;d;v. 1 3 :-6; Áavnes-Goldie' K' (20 1 0)''Aliases'
i."i.','ilí'i
including several associated omoral panics'.7 It is also the issue cl""oiág-,'ÜnáLÁt""áins p'iu'"v in-the Age-of Facebook"
Frrsú
¿;;il;,';;á v/"li
uiiioíts,1-4; Rosen,. rl-rióoil,www'csudh'edu/psvch
'Adolácents
'" "f:1fi:rl*.T:'.?.,::áTAtj:i;
i;ii.rariip-áiti s.lo"i it á"toti', at
(2006), ,Facebook,s *privacy Ttainwreck,r Exposure, Invasion. and
' Ioyd,
Drama',-d..
Apophetia B/op September B, www.danah,org/p"p.irñ""i1.;i.A"Júrü,
2010).
t Kirkpatrick (2010), P. 201'
Firsü
7
html.
Debatinn 8., Lovejo¡ J., Horn, A,-K. and Hugfres, B. (2009), ,Facebook
9 iffiffii;;i;. ilóóat;o¡in" social Networkins as Participatory surveillance"
and Online Monday 13¡ 3 March.