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How do I have self confidence, self Ask Question

esteem and work hard if I am a true

Christian? [closed]

In church we
learn to not lean
9 on ourselves.
We learn we can
do nothing with
our own power.
That we must
4 completely let
go of control
and let God.
That everything
that happens is
from God and
that we must be
humble and let
By using our site, you acknowledge
people dothat you have read and understand our Cookie Policy, Privacy Policy, and
our Terms of Service. whatever they
wish to us
 because it is
God's will and
doing.

I almost get the

impression that
all my OWN
thoughts and
actions are
wrong.

That I must be a
true servant to
other peoples
needs and that I
can never say
no to them,
even if they are
manipulative or
crazy.

In addition, I
leave service
feeling bad to
be ambitious
and work hard.

How do I have
self confidence,
self esteem,
think for
myself, feel
free, proud of
my
achievements
and feel good
about working
hard, if I follow
what is
preached ?

What part of
Christianity am
I missing?

faith morality

edited Apr 5 '13 at 19:00

asked Mar 17 '12 at 5:36
Greg McNulty
1,652 10 37 67

closed as
primarily
opinion-
based by
curiousdannii,
bruised reed,
Dick
Harfield, Mr.
Bultitude,
David
Stratton Apr
24 '15 at 2:46
Many good
questions
generate some
degree of
opinion based
on expert
experience, but
answers to this
question will
tend to be
almost entirely

based on
opinions,
rather than
facts,
references, or
specific
expertise.

If this question
can be
reworded to fit
the rules in the
help center,
please edit the
question.

3 Do you
mind if I
ask what
sort of
congregati
on this is?
Which
flavour of
Christianit
y? That
context
may be
important
to the
question.
–
Marc Gravell ♦
Mar 17 '12
at 7:58

Calvary
Chapel. –
Greg McNulty
Mar 17 '12
at 19:22

Secular
psycholog
ists had
introduce
d the
concept of
'self-
esteem."
Years
later,
seeing the
destructiv
e nature of
their
contributi
on and
others
misunders
tanding of
it, have
withdraw
n it. –
Steve Apr
23 '15 at
13:52
8 Answers

This is a very
good question
8 and I want to
address it from
several
different
approaches.

First have to go
a little deeper
into the reason
you believe
that you are
here on this
earth.

The bible has

many examples
of why God
put us here. At
the for front
among those is
to prove us or
test us.

Judges 2:22,
That
through
them I may
prove Israel,
whether
they will
keep the
way of the
Lord to
walk
therein, as
their fathers
did keep it,
or not.
23,
Therefore
the Lord left
those
nations,
without

driving
 them out
hastily;
neither
delivered he
them into
the hand of
Joshua.

So here we see
an instance
where the Lord
comes strait
out and says I
am testing you
to see if you
will follow the
commandment
s. This is
important to
note because
for something
to be a test you
necessarily
have need the
option to be
able to fail.
Which means
that we have
agency or the
ability to
choose for
ourselves what
we will do in
life.

Since we have
agency that
means that
there is
opposition
because you
can't have
choice without
opposition.
This is
important to
note because
you say that
you are
learning that

you have to
accept
whatever
someone does
to you because
its God's will.
That is not
necessarily the
case. The Lord
lets the rain
fall on the
just and
unjust alike
and He allows
somethings to
happen to good
people because
it needs to be
that way if we
are going to
choose to follow
Christ.

Jesus
admonished
the sinners that
He healed to
go and sin no
more. Why
would He do
this if
everything that
was happening
was being
caused by
God? He said
this because
not everything
that was
happening was
being caused
by God but by
people
exercising their
agency to
choose the
devil instead of
God and hence
sinning. So we
can see that
while

everything is
allowed by God
not everything
is caused by
Him, a very
crucial
difference.

That lets us
address the
part of your
question where
you say that we
need to lean on
the Lord and
not our own
power. This is
true. Because
we all live in a
fallen state no
matter how
much we want
to we will at
one time or
another
exercise our
agency to
choose to
follow the devil
and sin. To
return to the
path we need
to lean on
Christ and His
Atonement for
us. The
scriptures say
that there is no
other way to
return to live
with God.
So we are being
tested yes, we
need to make
our own
decisions to
live up to that
test but when
we fail we need
to rely on the
Lord to make

that up because
we can't do
that ourselves.

Here is a
scripture to go
with the
importance of
doing works
ourselves and
yet rely on the
Lord at the
same time:

James 2:14-
21) 14: What
doth it
profit, my
brethren,
though a
man say he
hath faith,
and have
not works?
can faith
save him?

15: If a
brother or
sister be
naked, and
destitute of
daily food,

16: and one

of you say
unto them,
Depart in
peace, be ye
warmed
and filled;
notwithstan
ding ye give
them not
those things
which are
needful to
the body;
what doth it
profit?

17: Even so
 faith, if it
hath not
works, is
dead, being
alone.

18: Yea, a
man may
say, Thou
hast faith,
and I have
works:
shew me
thy faith
without thy
works, and
I will shew
thee my
faith by my
works.

19: Thou
believest
that there is
one God;
thou does
well: the
devils also
believe, and
tremble.

20: But wilt

thou know,
O vain man,
that faith
without
works is
dead?

21: Was not

Abraham
our father
justified by
works,
when he
had offered
Isaac his
son upon
the altar?

Abraham did
not know
ahead of time
that a
substitute
would be there
to be offered
instead of his
son yet he
proved himself
worthy by
relying on the
Lord for that
difficult trial
and passed his
test. Similarly
we need to
show our faith
by our works
which means
that we need to
get out and do
service.

Feeling good
about ones-self
is paramount
to the gospel
and enshrined
in the second
commandment
given by
Christ:

Thou shalt
love thy
neighbor as
thyself.
(emphasis
mine)

You can't love

yourself if you
don't feel good
about yourself
so while we
should not feel
boastful we
should feel
good about
what we have
accomplished
serving the
 Lord because it
shows our faith
and that we are
striving to pass
the test given
to us.

So to sum up:
In order to
prove
ourselves we
need to have
agency which
requires that
we think for
ourselves and
choose to freely
follow God. We
need to do hard
work to show
our faith and
pass our test.
And we should
feel good about
what we
accomplish
because it
shows that
faith (and
anything that
involves
building faith
is including the
Lord), and
shows we are
doing our best.
And its
commanded by
the Lord. In all
of this we must
remember that
we will slip up
from time to
time and it is at
those points
when we must
rely on Christ
to make up for
our sins.

answered Mar 17 '12 at 9:19

Ryan
2,591 10 24

1 allowed
vs caused
by God,
great
point.
Thanks
for the
info, will
read over
again... –
Greg McNulty
Mar 17
'12 at
19:43

God expects us
to use our own
11 minds:

Do not be
like the
horse or the
mule, which
have no
understandi
ng but must
be controlled
by bit and
bridle or
they will not
come to you.

Psalm 32:9

And he expects
us to achieve
and be proud
of our
accomplishmen
ts, so that we
don't burden
others:

Each one
should test
his own
actions.
Then he can
 take pride in
himself,
without
comparing
himself to
somebody
else, for each
one should
carry his
own load.

Galatians 6:4-5

Jesus Himself
told us to use
the gifts we've
been given:

In the same
way, let your
light shine
before men,
that they
may see
your good
deeds and
praise your
Father in
heaven.

Matthew 5:16

Don't let
manipulative
people control
you, but rather:

Above all else,

guard your
heart, for it
is the
wellspring
of life.

Proverbs 4:23

So as I'm
answering this
I'm left with one
important
question for
 you: "Are you
getting Biblical
teaching at your
church?

edited Mar 17 '12 at 10:02

answered Mar 17 '12 at 9:56

Wikis
13.8k 21 70 146

1 Thank
you, that
helps a
lot. Yes I
do think I
am
getting it
but
perhaps it
is a
perspectiv
e&
interpretat
ion issue
of the
non-
denomina
tion...I
really
don't
know how
to
compare
but each
denomina
tion seems
to think
their way
is the only
right one,
so it is
very
confusing.
–
Greg McNulty
Mar 17 '12
at 19:25

@GregMc
Nulty:
 Everyone
thinks
they are
right and
always
have! I
strongly
recommen
d you
read the
Bible for
yourself
and get
into a
small
group of
trusted
Christian
friends
who can
help you
process
this. God
bless! –
Wikis Mar
17 '12 at
19:32

Ecclesiastes 3:13

states
2
That
everyone
may eat and
drink, and
find
satisfaction
in all his toil-
-this is the
gift of God.

Hence, I believe
it Biblical to
take pride in
your work, as
long as it
doesn't become
arrogance.

answered Mar 17 '12 at 20:37

Top12Gun
358 1 5
 2 I love
short
answers. –
user23
Mar 22 '12
at 18:29

It's interesting
how many
2 'christians'
almost think
that you can't
be confident.
That's not true
and never will
be. You should
follow your
heart, and not
other people's
advices, if you
feel there is
something
wrong with
their opinions.

And this
opinion is
wrong. Of
course, too
much
confidence,
being arrogant,
selfish, that's
not good. But
does it mean
that confidence
by itself is
wrong?? Of
course not. Is
sex a bad thing,
only because
some people
don't know how
important and
exceptional
thing it is, or
how to use it
the good way?
No.
And, mainly,
you should
know these
verses from the
Bible:
(Ecclesiastes
5:18,19) 'Here is
what I have
seen to be good
and fitting: to
eat, to drink
and enjoy
oneself in all
one's labor in
which he toils
under the sun
during the few
years of his life
which God has
given him; for
this is his
reward. And it
is a good thing
to receive
wealth from
God and the

good health to
enjoy it. *To
enjoy your work*
and accept your
lot in life--this is
indeed a gift
from God.
(Proverbs 13:4)
'Lazy people
want much but
get little, but
those who work
hard will
prosper.'

It's
unbelievably
crazy how some
christians
always think
that you should
only prosper in
terms of church
and so, even
that there is
nothing written
here like that.
You should
prosper in
everything. You
might be even a
pop-artist star
or pro-football
player if you
want, it's
certainly not a
bad thing. Of
course, it would
be probably a
bad thing if you
forgot about
God, if you
stopped being
with God. But
this applies for
everything.
That doesn't
mean you can't
have it. The
most important
thing is to be

thankfull for
everything you
have and don't
forget about
God, but you
should enjoy it
by yourself. I
believe that
when God
created man
and woman, he
gave you the
ability to enjoy
things, enjoy
everything you
want as long as
it's not wrong.
God gave you
the ability to
feel good about
yourself, to feel
confident. If
there is
somebody in
the universe,
 who wants you
to feel bad
about yourself,
unimportant,
unloved, and
that you can't
do anything,
and that you
will never find
any happines,
and who wants
you to doubt
everything and
being
pessimistic
about
everything, do
you really think
this thinking is
from God ?? It's
not a tough
question.

Sorry for a long

answer. :) This
is rather my

opinion, it is
just what I
believe. To be
honest, I would
die for it.

You, as well as
other people,
may agree or
disagree with
that, that's ok. I
don't have a
patent for the
best answer
ever.

edited Jan 14 '14 at 9:21

answered Jan 14 '14 at 8:48

Ryan
21 2
 How do I have
self confidence,
1 self esteem,
think for
myself, feel
free, proud of
my
achievements
and feel good
about working
hard, if I follow
what is
preached ?
What part of
Christianity am
I missing?

Romans 12:3
For I say,
through the
grace given
unto me, to
every man
that is
among you,
not to think
of himself
more highly
than he
ought to
think; but to
think
soberly,
according as
God hath
dealt to
every man
the measure
of faith.

The solution to
man's problems
is not to feel
good about
himself or even
bad, but to walk
in truth.

John 8:31-32
Then said
 Jesus to
those Jews
which
believed on
him, If ye
continue in
my word,
then are ye
my disciples
indeed; And
ye shall
know the
truth, and
the truth
shall make
you free.

I almost get the

impression that
all my OWN
thoughts and
actions are
wrong. That I
must be a true
servant to other
peoples needs
and that I can
never say no to
them, even if
they are
manipulative
or crazy.

Once you know

truth, you can
see through
those who
would
manipulate or
exploit you.
Christian
maturity is
growing in
Christ-likeness
(wisdom, truth,
and love).

Much of our
own selfish
thinking is
wrong, but we
 should not
replace it with
the wrong
thinking of
others. We need
rather to be
more like Jesus,

Philippians
2:3-5 Let
nothing be
done
through
strife or
vainglory;
but in
lowliness of
mind let
each esteem
other better
than
themselves.
Look not
every man
on his own
things, but
every man
also on the
things of
others. Let
this mind be
in you,
which was
also in
Christ Jesus:

answered Apr 23 '15 at 13:45

timf
4,289 5 7

Nancy Pearcy
obliquely
1 addresses this
issue in her
book, Total
Truth. There, we
find that God
wants us to
impact all of
culture,
wherever we
are. We are not
to leave the
world to
secularists and
keep religion as
merely internal,
and thus have
no impact. Thus
we have a
Christian
impact with all
our minds and
talents, seen in
paintings,
performing arts,
television and
movies, politics,
government,
business,
scientific
disciplines,
education,
leisure
activities, and
so on. There is
no area to be
free of a
Christian's
impact in the
world. God
wants this
world to be
transformed by
the gospel in
every way. His
command still
stands: "fill the
earth and
subdue it: have
dominion over
the fish of the
sea, over the
birds of the air,
and over every
living thing that
moves on the
earth." And that
means we are to
engage the
world cultures,
not keep our
teachings
within the
church. Adam
and Eve's work
began in a
garden, but
their work
would have
extended that
garden on
outward.

The teachings
you are
receiving have a
unique church
focus because
within the
church we
learn, in a safe
environment,
how to serve
with other
people who are

undergoing the
same spiritual
journey. Most
"church-goers"
see church as
something they
attend for an
hour a week
rather than as a
way of
participating in
the community
of light within
the community
of darkness.
The leaders are
showing you
how to
transform lives
by laboring in
the church, and
find God's
provision for
every work. By
all means learn
 from these
teachers, but
then carry your
lessons outside
as well by
applying your
thinking and
abilities in
whatever
enterprise you
engage in.

answered Apr 23 '15 at 14:40

Steve
6,585 20 47

Another
book you
may want
to
consider is
"I Quit!",
which was
written by
a pastor's
wife who

was
overwhel
med with
church
demands.
The book
was
written
after she
left her
husband's
church
(with his
understan
ding) to
learn what
went
wrong
with her
despite
her
"service"
in the
church,
and how
she got
back on
the right
track. She
has many
insights
that will
help you.
– Steve
Apr 23 '15
at 14:42

Another
book,
"Celebrati
on of
Discipline,
" in its
chapter on
service,
makes a
point
about
people
who
manipulat
e you or
walk all
over you
to take
advantage
of your
serve-
anyone
mentality.
They are
not
walking
all over
you if you
 are
deliberatel
y putting
yourself
in the
position of
wanting
to serve
them, but
only when
you are
unwilling
to serve
and feel
forced. –
Steve Apr
23 '15 at
14:45

"Come unto
me, all ye
1 that labour
and are
heavy laden,
and I will
give you
rest"
Matthew
11:28

There is a
simple
satisfaction
when we
become co-
workers with
God, doing
according to
His will. This
after all is the
true meaning of
life, angels in
heaven delight
to do God's
work. The
confidence we
gain is that we
have made
peace with God,
and are being
accepted into
the heavenly
family through
Jesus' merits.

"Blessed are
the
peacemakers
: for they
shall be
called the
children of
God"
Matthew 5:9

The state of
confidence in
self is not the
focus of the
gospel message.
Rather the Bible
calls us to have
confidence in
God, through
faith.
Confidence that
He can meet
our need, that
His grace is
sufficient for us.
Whenever we
are made to feel
our lack,
instead of
feeling
frustrated, we
should embrace
it. It is only
those who
realize that they
are poor in
spirit who then
sense their need
for God.

"Blessed are
the poor in
spirit: for
theirs is the

kingdom of
 heaven"
Matthew 5:3
"Blessed are
those which
do hunger
and thirst
for
righteousnes
s: for they
shall be
filled"
Matthew 5:6

The Christian
walk with God
is not going to
be a straight
path. In our
natural state,
our nature is
enmity against
God. We do not
walk always in
the Spirit, but
enough
experience is
given to us for
us to realize
that the grace of
God can change
us. Even if it is
only for a short
duration, we
remember times
when God's
love has made
us capable of
loving others,
capable of
denial of self,
and capable of
humble
obedient
service. He
gives us
glimpses of
what we can
become if we
continue to
abide in Him,
but He also
 gives us a fuller
picture of our
sins so that we
can recognize
them and
overcome. Satan
may wish to
tempt you into
thinking you
are fine the way
you are, but
God wishes you
to see the truth.
A Christian that
thinks for
himself knows
to trust in God
and not his own
desires.

Everything God
asks of us is for
our benefit, and
we need to have
faith in this fact
during the good
and hard days.

answered Apr 24 '15 at 2:38

Beestocks
2,451 8 21

Hope this
helped. If
you feel
that
someone
is taking
advantage
of you,
coming to
you as a
viper
instead of
a lost
sheep.
Pray to
God about
how you
should
respond.
In many
cases it is
okay to
walk
away,
those
people
were not
sent by
God for
you to
help. –
Beestocks
Apr 24 '15
at 2:43

yeah it
helps for
some
parts of
the issue.
You
mentione
d "those
people
were not
sent by
God for
you to
help" -
there is no
way for
me to
know who
is who,
God
would
specificall
y have to
tell me. –
Greg McNulty
Jun 5 '15
at 20:25

Prayer is
needed. I
know it's
hard to
know
what is
God's
will, but
we must
ask for
spiritual
discernme
nt, we
must try
to grow.
On the
flip side, if
the Spirit
does not
go with us
when we
try to help
someone,
our efforts
are useless
anyways.
Hence, the
importanc
e of
asking
God. –
Beestocks
Jun 16 '15
at 2:40
 I really don't
know the full
1 answer to this
but I know that
humbling
yourself under
Christ can be a
great experience
if you let it. Do
you value being
grateful for
what you have.
Studies show
that people who
do this are more
happy. Imagine
your biggest
dreams placed
before you.
Anything in this
world that you
want. God is
way more than
anything you
can dream. The
idea is that
there is
something out
there that is
more than you
can imagine.
You can't even
begin to
understand
how big this is.
Its just the idea
there is
something out
there that is
bigger than
you. Also
people who
have a problem
 with God
usually don't
have a personal
relationship
with him. If you
get to know him
the holy spirit
will give you
the ability to do
this. You
weren't meant
to do this alone.
I hope you
understand
what I'm
saying.

edited Jan 29 at 21:10

user37553
107 2 2 6

answered Apr 22 '15 at 19:44

Gina
11 1