Sugay, Alexandra Nicole D.

4LM2

Some people care for themselves by ensuring they always look good, hence the glorifying
existence of make-up. Some care for themselves by maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Some even express
their self-care by actively involving themselves into social interactions to keep their names alive. And then
there’s me, who are not like some people.

When I was young, I was outgoing, carefree, and sociable. From elementary to high school, I
maintained an image of being approachable and – modesty aside – known to many. This was how I cared
about myself: I made sure the people around me liked my character. It is also innate for me to be more
selfless than selfish because I know the feeling of being deprived of something. When college arrived, my
self-esteem decided to leave. I got so overwhelmed with the new people I encountered that I had a series
of existential crisis. “Self-care” was not part of my vocabulary anymore as I stayed behind the shadows of
everyone. I kept my circle close and tight and I limited my social interactions. Sometimes, when my friends
pass by another group of friends, I get jitters and just move along because the presence of others makes
me uneasy.

Aside from my questionable existence, I also suffered extreme loneliness when my parents
separated (In fact, I have not fully recovered yet). It was when I did not care about myself and my life’s
purpose at all. The only thing which compelled me to see the sun rise again is through the motivation and
persistence of the person who never left my side.

Right now, I am slowly building my blocks of a better condition. I never thought my existential
crisis during sophomore year college would make me the person I am today. Embrace fears, so they say.
Eventually, I have learned to care about myself and I fully enjoy being an introvert (My personality type:
INFJ). My friends often have a hard time of making me come with them whenever they go out because I
enjoy solitude as much as everyone else enjoys interaction.

Looking good through make-up does not matter to me; being happy, for me, is what looks good.
I am neither a gym buff nor a diet conscious being, but I read books and listen to underrated music which,
also for me, is a healthy lifestyle. I do not even need to keep my name alive. In fact, I would rather have
my name known to few. The preservation of my sanity lies in staying inside my room, watching a bunch
of mind-boggling, plot-twisted series while munching overly-salted chips. Self-care is not always how
physically fit I am or how sociable I am. The more important thing about caring for myself is maintaining
a stable and peaceful mind – by doing whatever I want as long as it makes me happy, even though others
do otherwise.