Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Situations
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Definitions
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Types of Body Language
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Body Language Top Ten Quick List
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Positive Body Language Details
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Rub Hands to End = Once you have made a
decision and have decided to end the
confrontation, state what your decision is while
rubbing your hand softly in front of you in a non-
threatening manner.
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Negative Body Language Details
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Touch Mouth or Nose or Threat =
Mouth = I do not approve of you and I am afraid to speak
openly. I am not sure of myself.
Nose = I am nervous about this confrontation. I am not sure
what is going to happen.
Throat = I am frightened by you and the situation I am in.
Clench Fists = I am very angry at you and want to punish
you for placing me in this situation. I am more powerful
than you. I am in control.
Cross Arms = I am defensive. I have made up my mind. I
resist any attempt by you to communicate with me.
Hands on Hips = I am in authority here and you are
subservient to my position. You have little or no standing
with me. I am going to be confrontational to you.
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Point = I challenge you to disobey me. You are
subservient and must do as I say. I am your
master. (Remember that there is an exception to
this rule which will be explained later.)
Hands in Front of Chest (Palms Out) = This gesture
is when the hands are close to the body. It is
universally interpreted as meaning I am not
responsible for what happened or is happening.
Someone else is to blame. I do not have control
since its not my fault.
Hands Behind Back = I am angry and have
something to hide from you. You can’t see the
real me.
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Verbal Control of Confrontational
Situations
Body Language and voice control must be in harmony
with one another. Proper body language is rendered
impotent when accompanied by poor grammar and
loss of voice control.
Stress causes the following physical reactions:
Face becomes red and flushed
Body becomes ridged and stiff
Breathing becomes rapid and shallow
Eyes widen
Sweat breaks out
Voice escalates
Sentences become very short
Teeth clench
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Verbal Control of Confrontational
Situations
Almost all stress related reactions can be controlled by
breath control. You must consciously breathe.
When you see or feel a confrontational situation beginning
to develop, immediately take 1 or 2 deep breaths and relax
your diaphragm.
Deep breathing tells your subconscious that the threat is
over or lessened. This relaxes the muscles of the face and
vocal cords.
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Verbal Control of Confrontational
Situations
When you speak, speak from the diaphragm rather
than the throat.
Imagine yourself speaking in a calm, confident
manner. Pause momentarily before you begin to
speak.
The faster and higher the other person in the situation
talks, the slower and lower you should speak. A deep,
measured voice is interpreted as being in charge and
capable of handling the situation.
Use questions to deflect anger and diffuse focus.
Repeating a question back to the questioner often
causes that person to rethink their statement.
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Verbal Control of Confrontational
Situations
Do not make iron clad statements:
I know
Always
Never
Won’t
Make conditional statements:
In my judgement
I think
In my opinion
It is my belief
The rule does not allow
By rule
According to rule
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Verbal Control of Confrontational
Situations
Do not use slang. Slang usage is seen as loss of
control.
Use command and control words when appropriate
Stop
You
Here
There
Emphasize the command with the point.
Never threaten
State the behavior you want stopped and leave the other person to
imagine what the penalty might be.
State the penalty and then enforce it no matter what.
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Personal Space
Only you can determine if someone is allowed to invade your
personal space.
In situations where your personal space is invaded, especially
when the distance is less than 1 foot, and body language and
verbal usage indicate intimidation, ejection should usually be the
result.
No matter what, you should not retreat, turn sideways, or drop
your head. Do not lean back no matter how close the other
person is to your face.
Once you have decided that the other person has had his say, do
the following:
Keep your head erect
Take two steps back
Turn 180 degrees and forcefully give the ejection signal away from the
person being ejected.
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Personal Space
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Bulk Up
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Slim Down
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Pre Game
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Pre Game
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Pre Game
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Pre Game
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Tidbits
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Tidbits
If you drop your head or lower your eyes after making a point,
you are asking for confrontation. You must hold your body
language until the focus is no longer on you.
You must determine whether to meet an adversary half way or
make him come to you. Never go to an adversary because he
beckons to you or tells you to come.
Generally you should not meet an adversary half way if he has
had a temper tantrum prior to his wanting to talk to you. Meeting
him half way confirms his control over you.
If you make the adversary come to you, watch your body
language as he approaches. This is the time to take the deep
breaths and go over the points in your mind. Remember, head
up, eyes level, palms open, hands down, and feet shoulder width
apart.
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Tidbits
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DANGER! DANGER!!
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DANGER! DANGER!!
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DANGER! DANGER!!
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Conclusion
Always:
Keep verbal language in harmony with body language
Keep head up, eyes level, hands down, palms open.
Act and be professional at all times
Never
Look down or away
Back Up
Instigate a confrontive situation
Hang you partner out to dry
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Stature
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Body Language in Confrontational
Situations
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