I.S.U.C.C.

Vol 4(20)

SCHOLASTIC STAFF PUBLISHIING

April 2019

IN THIS
ISSUE:
Academic Life
P. 42-46: SCHOLASTIC STAFF’S GUIDE
JOURNAL FOR THE INTERDICSIPLINARY
TO FORGING LETTERS OF
RECOMMENDATION
Q. D. PHENIC ET AL.
STUDY OF UNIVERSITY AND COLLEGE
Science, Technology &
Mathematics CURRICULAE • I.S.U.C.C.
P. 122-34: WHY GRAPHENE WILL
NEVER BE A THING Volume 4 • Number 20 • April 2019 (Special Issue)
S. CONDUKTA
Social Science, History & SCHOLASTIC STAFF PUBLISHING
Humanities
I.S.U.C.C. is an interdisciplinary journal published by Scholastic Staff Publishing on behalf
P. 190-97: RANKING US PRESIDENTS of the Society for Scholastic Staff Publishers, a hypothetical division of Nintendo
BY OLIVE GARDEN CONSUMPTION
M. MARIO ET AL.
Pokémon Showdown, INC. ©2019. No rights reserved. Except for Richard Stallman.
I.S.U.C.C. Special Issue Vol 4(20): April 2019

JOURNAL FOR THE INTERDICSIPLINARY STUDY

OF UNIVERSITY AND COLLEGE CURRICULAE

VOLUME 4, NUMBER 20 APRIL 2019

CONTENTS

POKÉMON STUDIES 5

PROBABILISTIC ANOMALIES IN A DATASET OF FOCUS BLASTS 6-10

RANDALL BATS
NEW METHODS FOR INDUCING POKÉMON EVOLUTION: AN UNETHICAL CASE REPORT 11-19
M. GIOVANNI
RANKING POKÉMON SHOWDOWN ROOMS BY AVERAGE USER IQ 20-27
B. BRAIN
PRELIMINARY OSTEOLOGY OF A M. MEWNIUS FOSSIL FROM UPPER ESSEQUIBO, GUYANA 28-40
T. OWUN

ACADEMIC LIFE 41

SCHOLASTIC STAFF’S GUIDE TO FORGING LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION 42-46

Q. D. PHENIC ET AL.
BRIBING YOUR WAY INTO A FOR-PROFIT COLLEGE 47-55
J. KUSHNER
UNIVERSITY RANKINGS BY BITTER PRINCETON REJECTS 56-56
D. INGRAM
SHOULD YOU GET A PHD? HONESTLY, FUCK YOU. 57-65
I. SALTEE
FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF AN ACCREDITED UNIVERSITY IN WINDSOR, ONTARIO 66-72
W. IGMA

SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY AND MATHEMATICS 73

AERODYNAMIC MOTION OF BRACHIAL POSTURES: LESSONS FROM NARUTO 74-88

W. E. BEAU
VIOLATION OF THE SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS IN ROUND EARTH THEORY 89-101
P. FINAT
THE PATH OF LEAST ACTION: VISUALIZING STEM MAJORS’ SEX LIVES 102-104
J. DRAM ET AL.
APPLICATION OF TAI’S THEOREM TO HIGHER-DIMENSION SPACES 105-112
Q. ZIEL
A METHOD FOR THE CLASSIFICATION OF HOMOPHOBIC ALGEBRAIC STRUCTURES 113-121
D. INGRAM
I.S.U.C.C. Special Issue Vol 4(20): April 2019

WHY GRAPHENE WILL NEVER BE A THING 122-134

S. CONDUKTA
SUCCESSIVE ELIMINATION OF NETWORK NODES BASED ON MULTIFACTORED ANNOYANCE: 135-139
TEMPORAL TRENDS IN THE USERBASE OF ONLINE CHATROOMS
B. N. EMALL
ROBOTNIKIN: A NEW INHIBITOR OF THE SONICIN HEDGEHOGLOBIN PROTIEN 140-156
G. BRUEDLY
MEN UNDER SIX FEET: A NEW SUBSPECIES? 157-163
S. TACEY
THERAPEUTIC EFFECTS OF CRYSTAL SPACE GROUPS: A STUDY OF ALHF3O4 HETEROSTRUCTURES
Q. ZIEL 164-172

SOCIAL SCIENCE, HISTORY AND HUMANITIES 173

LINGUISTIC EVOLUTION IN A POPULATION OF SENTIENT LAWN ORNAMENTS 174-189

GNOME CHOMSKY
RANKING US PRESIDENTS BY OLIVE GARDEN CONSUMPTION 190-197
M. MARIO ET AL.
COMPARISON OF UNDERGRADUATE MAJORS BY AVERAGE SKULL SIZE 198-213
J. B. PETERSON
TRANSFORMATION AND DEFECATION: THEMES IN THE LITERARY WORKS OF J. K. ROWLING 214-231
STEPHENIE MEYER
RECENT DEVELOPMENTS IN THE HISTORY AND PHILOSOPHY OF SCIENTOLOGY 232-245
T. CRUISE
THE SOCIAL BENEFITS OF KIDNEY-BACKED FINANCIAL SECURITIES 246-257
GARY JOHNSON
PHOTOGRAPHIC AUTONOMY AND MIMESIS IN FILM: DECONSTRUCTING PYTKA’S SPACE JAM 258-272
T. SANDS
BELGIUM, FINLAND, AND UKRAINE: NON-COUNTRY GOVERNANCE IN THE 21ST CENTURY 273-295
X. KASEY-DEE
WAS THE CIVIL WAR ACTUALLY THAT CIVIL? A REEVALUATION 296-309
A. HICKS
POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY FOR YOUTUBE COMMENTATORS 310-317
S. MOLYNEUX

FOR SCHOLASTIC STAFF READING ONLY (DO NOT LEAVE THIS IN) 318

QUADROPHENIC’S TAX RETURNS: DO NOT SHOW THE PEASANTS 318-345

C. AUGUSTUS
OUR ROLE IN MAINTAINING THE NASA-MANDATED ROUND-EARTH LIE 345-358
V. BATEM
UPCOMING SPONSORSHIP BY THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY 359-363
Z. REL
SCHOLASTIC'S COMPLIANCE WITH CANADIAN CONTENT QUOTAS: YEAR 2017-2018 364-374
S. T. RUTHNEE
OUR INVESTIGATION INTO RUMORS OF "DIGIMON SHOWDOWN" 375-389
M. T. SPUD