Parshat Chayei Sara October 30, 2010 22 Cheshvan, 5771

Rabbi Frand on Parshat Chayei Sarah

TORAH
Because Avraham Had a M'Eliyahu, explains that this was the the situation: How do we act
ARTSCROLL, 106 hardest test because it
Hard Day, Efron Should when we are under stress?
HERTZ, 80 Suffer? demonstrates two of the greatest We all have different
aspects of Avraham's personality. gradations of stress. I was
HAFTORAH Rabbeinu Yona [Avot 5:3] There were two factors that came recently in the supermarket.
discusses the 10 tests with into play here. The confluence of There was a person who was
ARTSCROLL, 1136 these two factors turned the buying
which G-d tested Avraham. bagging my groceries. I made
HERTZ, 90 Most Rishonim learn that the of the burial plot into a super human what I thought was a minimal
tenth and final test was the experience. request of not overloading the
Akeidas Yitzchak at the end bag to the extent that it could
of last week's parsha. First of all, let us picture for give a person a hernia. I
However Rabbeinu Yona ourselves, under normal asked this in what I thought
learns that the tenth and circumstances, dealing with this was the nicest fashion. The
final test was the trouble person named Efron. What type of fellow barked at me! I asked
Avraham had in purchasing person is Efron? How would we him "What is my iniquity and
Times a grave for his wife Sarah. relate to an Efron? what is my sin? [Bereshis
31:36] Why did you talk to me
Candle Lighting 5:37 pm Rav Dessler doesn't say this, but
Avraham came back from like that?" "I had a hard day!",
the Akeida, only to find his what I would suggest is the he told me. When someone
Friday Mincha 5:40 pm
wife deceased. Now following: Think of a typical used has a hard day, the general
Haskhama 8:00 am Avraham must look for a car salesman. He epitomizes the feeling is that this is a carte
grave. After having thought worst type of merchant one has to blanche to treat the rest of the
Youth 8:30 am that he was the legitimate negotiate with. He is willing to sell world like dogs.
heir of Eretz Yisrael, rather the Brooklyn Bridge. He tries to jack
Parsha Shiur 8:30 am than just burying her, he has up the price, to steer customers to Let us take something more
to get into a dialogue with more expensive models, anything to severe than a "hard day".
Main Minyan 9:00 am Efron and has to purchase a take advantage. The customer What about the experience of
burial plot at an exorbitant knows that the salesman is trying to losing one's luggage. After a
Beit Midrash 9:15 am 'rip him off'. How do we deal with
price. This, says Rabbeinu long drawn out airplane flight,
Yona, was the tenth and people who are trying to rip us off? after watching the luggage
Gemorah Shiur 4:25 pm The immediate response is - he is
final test referred to by the carousel go around and
Mishneh in Avot. trying to rip me off, I am going to rip around until one has
Mincha 5:25 pm
him off. Our whole conduct with memorized each piece of
Shabbat Ends 6:43 pm This Rabbeinu Yona is very such an individual is not one of luggage, one has had enough!
difficult to understand. respect (menschlich). He's not being He goes upstairs to the ticket
Sunday, 7:30/8:30 am Granted it was upsetting and 'menschlich' with me - why should I agent and he has no patience
October 31 granted it was trying to have be 'menschlich' with him? This is a for the agent.
this aggravation with the prime example of telling ourselves
Mon, Thurs. 6:35/7:45 am burial, but that this should be that we don't have to act like a Do we think to act with
counted even greater than prince, because we are not dealing manners at such a time? No,
Tues, Wed, Fri. 6:45/7:45 am the test of the Akeida - the with a prince. We are dealing with because we have an excuse -
willingness to sacrifice one's someone who is perhaps just above we've lost our luggage!
own son - is difficult to a thief. How does one act with such
Mincha 5:30 pm understand. a person? That is the type of person Let us go a little further. What
Sun./Fri. who Avraham is dealing with here. if someone has a relative in
Rav Dessler, in the latest the hospital? Picture a person
Latest times for Let us examine another aspect of
volume of Michtav in the hospital under a lot of
Shema/Shmoneh Esrei
October 30 10:00/10:53 am Bima Flowers are Seudah Shlishit
November 6 10:04/10:55 am Kiddush sponsored by is sponsored by
Is Sponsored by Judy & Brett Blatter Sheila & Moosa
Next Shabbat and by Ebrahimian
Toldos Great Neck Jaime & Michael Katz in memory
Synagogue in honor of the of his mother
Candle lighting 5:29 pm
birthday of their father Rahel Ebrahimian.
Mincha 5:30 pm Henry Katz
26 Old Mill Road, Great Neck, NY 11023 (516) 487-6100 Shabbat Announcements Parshat Chayei Sara 5771
her. There are even some who mumble derogatory remarks
pressure. He is scared, he is worried. What happens when some
under their breath but loud enough that she can hear them.
nurse or some doctor or someone in the cafeteria gives him a hard
She did remark, however, that there was one exception - a
time? The reaction is "I have no patience and I have the right to
small man with a gray beard. He would greet her with a "Good
have no patience because my relative is in the hospital."
Morning" everyday. His name was Rav Yakov Kaminetsky.
[One of the greatest Torah sages of his time.]
All these emotions are perfectly legitimate in our eyes.
There is no such 'heter' of "because I am suffering, I can
Now let us go back to Avraham Avinu. He just came back from the
cause suffering to my fellow man".
Akeidah. Imagine how a person feels after he narrowly escaped the
experience of slaughtering his own son. Imagine the drain of
The confluence of these two factors: (1) being under the
emotion. Imagine his mental state after being literally on the brink
greatest of stress and (2) being confronted with a person who
and coming back.
is less than a prince, - and yet showing Derech Eretz - was to
Rabbenu Yonah the ultimate test that Avraham Avinu
This is the hardest of days. Then, this person who is drained of
successfully completed.
emotion, comes back to find the wife of his youth dead. And now
the emotionally drained widower, coming off the hardest of days,
has to deal and buy a grave. And who does he have to deal with - SAVE THE DATE
Efron, worse than the used car dealer!

GREAT NECK
How does Avraham Avinu act? "And Avraham prostrates
himself..." [Bereshis 23:12] He acts with Derech Eretz and with
honor, treating Efron like the most honorable of people. He offers
no excuse "I've had a bad day! My wife just died! I am stressed SYNAGOGUE
out."

Avraham remembers at all times that Efron is a mensch, he is a

human being. That demands that Avraham treat him like the Image 59TH ANNUAL
of G-d that he is. As Rav Dessler writes, "Just because I am in
pain, the other person does not have to suffer." DINNER
Because one has a hard day at the office, does not mean one's
children or one's spouse must suffer. This takes enormous self-
control. It takes a person who is totally in control of himself and it GUESTS OF HONOR
takes a person who treats each and every human being, Jew or
non- Jew, with dignity.

This incident of burying Sarah represented the ultimate test in

SHARON GOLDWYN
relationships between one man and his fellow man - to act with
one's fellow man appropriately, even when one has every excuse
AND
in the world to act differently.
MICHAEL & MINDY
Even under these circumstances - be a mensch. Treating people
with Derech Eretz, as they deserve to be treated, while under such
LEVENTHAL
personal stresses, was the ultimate challenge and the ultimate test.

In this area, Rav Dessler writes, we are sorely lacking. Over the
years, it has become a matter of pride that it is not necessary to act
BONEH HABAYIT AWARD
with Derech Eretz. Chutzpah has triumphed. It is 'considered a
mitzvah' to talk to people without the proper manners and respect.
PHYLISS WEINBERG
How far we have fallen!

There is a famous story about the "Nun of Monsey". A Catholic

Sister in Monsey, New York once remarked that people on the
SATURDAY EVENING,
street of that largely Orthodox neighborhood did not bother greeting JANUARY 15TH, 2011
Great Neck Synagogue
Shabbat Activities Program

Dale Polakoff, Rabbi

Ian Lichter, Assistant Rabbi
Dr. Ephraim Wolf ,z”l, Rabbi Emeritus
Michael Bleicher, Daniel Schwechter, Rabbinic Interns
Zeev Kron, Cantor
Eleazer Schulman, z”l, Cantor Emeritus
Mark Twersky, Executive Director
Joseph Hecht, President
Harold Domnitch, Chairman of the Board
 Scholar in Residence, Shabbat Oct. 30th
Great Neck Synagogue Presents
Bracha Rutner
Yoetzet Halacha

Shabbat morning Drasha

(at conclusion of davenning)
What’s love got to do with it?
The Torah’s View of Love and Romance
Shabbat afternoon, 4:25 pm
(for women only,)
The Shulchan Aruch on
Marital Intimacy
Babysitting will be provided – families are
encouraged to stay for seudah shlishit
Seudah Shlishit, 5:45 pm
Rabbinic Reaction to Women’s Mikvah Practices Through the Ages

Bracha Rutner is currently the Yoetzet Halacha at Riverdale Jewish Center where she has been warmly welcomed by the
community and has had a major impact in increasing the knowledge of Taharat Hamishpacha among couples, working
together with Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt.

Over 70 observant women Torah scholars have been certified as Yoetzet Halacha (Advisor in Jewish Law) at Nishmat, The
Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women, in Jerusalem. Bracha Rutner is one of only three Yoatzot
(Advisors) living in the U.S. Bracha and her colleagues are admired and consulted by Orthodox women all over the world,
through the internet, by telephone and in person. They know they can rely on the Yoetzet's profound understanding of
women's health and halacha. Yoatzot have enhanced marital intimacy and improved the quality of family life for thousands of
Jewish women. Great Neck Synagogue is proud to present Yoetzet Halacha, Bracha Rutner.

Sponsored by Ellie & David Werber

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE GREAT NECK SYNAGOGUE PRESENTS
A HOLIDAY BOUTIQUE
TUESDAY NOVEMBER 9TH, 2010 5:00 PM – 9:00 PM
26 Old Mill Road, Great Neck, NY 11023
Featuring: jewelry, toys, house wares, clothes, frames children's clothes, women's accessories, handbags,
hair accessories, fine jewelry, tie dye, judaica.
November 9, Tuesday, 7:45 pm The Jewish Political Education Foundation
The Rebbe: The Life and Afterlife and
of Menachem Mendel Schneerson The Great Neck Synagogue Men’s Club
By Samuel Heilman & Menachem Friedman
Present
Presented by Dr. Stanley Dacher
From the 1950s until his death in 1994, Menachem Mendel The Root Causes of Anti-US Islamic Terrorism
Schneerson--revered by his followers worldwide simply as Is the US targeted due to its Ties with Israel?
the Rebbe--built the Lubavitcher movement from a a presentation by
relatively small sect within Hasidic Judaism into the
powerful force in Jewish life that it is today. Swept away by
his expectation that the Messiah was coming, he came to Yoram Ettinger
believe that he could deny death and change history.
Former Israeli Consul General,
Samuel Heilman is Distinguished Professor of Sociology at
Queens College and holds the Harold Proshansky Chair in
Former Congressional Affairs Attache,
Jewish Studies at the Graduate Center of the City Israeli Embassy, Washington, DC
University of New York. His books include Sliding to the Wednesday, October 27th, 7:45 PM
Right: The Contest for the Future of American Jewish Great Neck Synagogue
Orthodoxy. Menachem Friedman is professor emeritus of 26 Old Mill Road, Great Neck
sociology at Bar-Ilan University. Admission Free - Free Parking
 ANNOUNCEMENTS
SCHOLAR IN RESIDENCE
Great Neck Synagogue Presents Bracha Rutner ,Yoetzet Halacha,
On Shabbat, October 30th. Bracha is currently the Yoetzet Halacha
at Riverdale Jewish Center where she has been warmly welcomed by
the community and has had a major impact in increasing the
knowledge of Taharat Hamishpacha among couples, working together
with Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt.
She will speak at the conclusion of davening in the morning, a lecture
for women at 4:25 pm and again for all at Seudah Shlishit.
The program is being sponsored by Ellie & David Werber.
For full details on the schedule and the program, please see page
three.
NJOP BASIC HEBREW READING COURSE
Want to read hebrew? Learn how to read in a few easy lessons.
Rita Gordonson will be teaching this weekly class beginning Nov.8
at 2pm. Call the office to register.
LADIES DANCE
The Ladies Wednesday morning dance class will resume on
October 27 at 9:45am.
GNS YOUTH BASKETBALL
Another season of basketball has arrived. Games are played
Tuesdays starting at 4:30 pm. Children grades 6-8 are invited.
Sign-up for $125.00 for members and $250.00 for non-members.
For additional information, leave message for Rabbi Jensen in
office.
SISTERHOOD
Tuesday evening, November 9th from 5:00pm to 9:00pm will be
the Sisterhood Chanukah Boutique in the Braun Youth Center. Thank
you to Lisa Kagan for organizing this event.
Back by Popular Demand
The Sisterhood presents a Shalom Bayit lecture with Rabbi Polakoff
and Rabbi Lichter on Wednesday evening, November 17th. This event
is sponsored by David and Diane Rein in memory of their beloved and
dear friend Judy Sokol z”l. For more information please contact Susan
Sheena at Susheena@aol.com or (516) 353 6158 or co-chair
Ina Greszes (516) 482-3642 . Additional details to follow.
PARLOR MEETING
On Tuesday evening, November 16th at the home of Sarita & Ben
Greszes at 65 Emerson Drive, there will be a Fine Israeli Wine Tasting
& hors D’oeuvres event on behalf of One Israel Fund. The guest
speaker will be Marc Prowisor, director of security projects for One
Israel Fund. Proceeds raised from the evening will help purchase
advanced life-saving medical kits (ALS Kits) for the security and
medical personnel throughout Judea and Samaria.
For more information regarding the event on November 16th contact
Scott Feltman at One Israel Fund. Please call 516.239.9202 or email
info@oneisraelfund.org.
NEW HS PROGRAM
High School Learning Program w/ Rabbi Lichter
Tuesday nights beginning Nov. 2nd Chalfin Room: 8:00 – 9:00 pm
MENS CLUB UPCOMING EVENTS
Wed, October 27: A talk by Ambassador (ret.) YORAM
ETTINGER, The Jewish Political Education Foundation is
co-sponsoring the evening.
Sun, October 31: The semi-annual BLOOD DRIVE.
CHEVRA KADISHA
During these difficult last few weeks our Chevra Kadisha has been
there for many families in their time of need and we have a great
deal to be proud of, but we cannot do it alone. We are asking for
just two hours of your time to serve as a Shomer when the need
arises. Your help in this very important mitzvah will afford our
Chevra Kadisha to continue its high standards of Kavod Hameis
(Respect for the deceased). Please call or e-mail Brenda Parver
(516) 829 8079- bparver@gmail.com or Rona Jutkowitz at
(516) 504-1644 - rjut@aol.com and let them know that you want
to be part of this important mitzvah.
Within Our Family
Mazal Tov to Lyda & Ben Hakimi on the recent marriage of
their son Neal to Diana Nadri.
Mazal Tov to Lori & Dennis Ferster on the Bat Mitzvah of
their daughters Rachel, Carmiella and Meira.
Mazal Tov to Ruth & Milton Mitzner on the Bat Mitzvah of
their granddaughter Margalit Gita, daughter of Bat-Sheva and
Lyle Mitzner in Newton, Mass.
Mazal Tov to Sonia & Sidney Mauthner on the upcoming
marriage of their grandson Bradley Toline to Sara Jaye.
Myra Honig would like to thank Rabbi Polakoff, Rabbi Lichter,
Cantor Kron, and the entire community for their outpouring of
sympathy, kind thoughts, and good deeds following the passing of her
mother Leah Mathews.
PAINTING EXHIBIT AT GN LIBRARY BY CHAVA SHALMON
Still Life and Landscape Oil Paintings on Canvas Exhibit
October 20-November 15th, 2010
at the Great Neck Library (Main Branch), Lower Level.
SAVE THE DATE!!! The North Shore Hebrew Academy's Early Childhood
Center will be holding a parlor meeting on Saturday evening,
October 30th for parents of children turning 2 - 5 years old at the home
of Avery and Ellen Modlin, 55 Bluebird Drive. Details to follow.
IRANIAN AMERICAN FEDERATION DINNER
The Iranian American Federation will hold its annual dinner on Tuesday,
November 9th at 7 pm. All money raised goes to Israel. For info
please call 516-466-8947
HFBA
The Hebrew Free Burial Association has designated the week of Parshat
Chayei Sara for their annual campaign to raise awareness for their
mission of ensuring that every Jew receives a proper and dignified
Jewish funeral and burial. They will be having a Community Chesed
Day on Sunday, October 31 at 10 AM at Silver Lake Cemetery,
926 Victory Boulevard, Staten Island, NY. For more information, or to
make a donation, please visit www.hebrewfreeburial.org.
Saturday, 22 Cheshvan
Mary F. Flax for Max Pasvolsky
Lisa Kaufman for Erica Josephs
Monday,24 Cheshvan
Moosa Ebrahimian for Rahel Ebrahimian
Joan Hope for Benjamin Hope
Rhona Lanzkowsky for Annie Elias
Mahin Mardkha for Rahel Ebrahimian
Y Tuesday, 25 Cheshvan
Andrew Allen for Harriet Allen
A Pnina Aronowitz for Rivka Azulai
H Murray Honig for Sylvia Honig
Dr. Daniel Williams for Herbert M. Williams
R Wednesday, 26 Cheshvan
Z Yve Fouladi for Michael Fruhling
Nina Gourdji for Ezra Nuriel
E Osnass Shein for Hode Pinsovitz
I Thursday, 27 Cheshvan
Stanley N. Lupkin for Sylvia Lupkin
T Dr. Paul Marcus for Sylvia Marcus
Leon Miller for Symma Miller
Sam Movsas for Israel Movsas
Paul Weinberg for Jerry Weinberg
Millie Werber for Jacob Werber
David Werber for Jacob Werber
Martin Werber for Jacob Werber
Friday, 28 Cheshvan
Elana Flax for Janie Matzkin
Shulamid Gavronsky for Bertha Kopelowitz
Cheryl Sneag for Janie Matzkin