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A-----------They don’t know because I m the eldest so rest of the kids are mothers side and there is more
property on fathers side I m eldest so they cannot make that argument and we other two are boys and
my mother has a one sister when they make the case if we need more money to marry her and in
fathers side my father is the youngest so his nephews and all are married already and I am a boy if I
were girl he could have make the case the he needs money but traditionally boy gets the dowry so he
doesn’t have to spend money on my wedding ,he would get money actually ..so that way they have
joked with me a couple of times ,,,a lot of people joke even my gym trainer was saying ohh you have a
business class family , you ll get a lot of dowry and my father once made some silly remarks about dowry
that your son is so bright you ll get a lot of dowry ……I don’t know if my pareants feel that they will lose
out in the dowry …

Reporter_--okay …no I mean it is true and something to hope forward to ,,,,so they haven’t verbalized to
it you

A--------Not directly ,,,its been implied a couple of times through relatives but the relatives definitely do
put a pressure to marry they just keep asking ,,apparently some of them telling my mother ohh your son
is now earning ,he should get married ,,,all there is really funny this is how thing is you know ……… I went
to a bank manager who is very sweet to me because we are of the same caste ,,I was just asking very
generally what is education loan ..he said you don’t need any education loan sir you just get married
now Marriage is the real education marriage will teach you everything that you need so now you just get
married forget about education ,,,so its implied

Reporter ----so would you want to get married if you colud ?

A-----------To a woman,NO …if you mean to a man yess I definitely think about it …if I be honest I want to
get married at some point to a man ..

Repoeter----you know people who get married elsewhere and comeback and expected recognition of
that like spouse like entity

A----------I know some of my close friends they haven’t expected indian states to give recognition to their
wedding but definitely their families so they are two men ,one hasn’t even told his family that he
married but they know he is in a relaitionship ,,,the other one’s family does .But you know both of them
have youngest siblings whose marriage is celebrated and family were called and invited ,,so they both
feel that they were neglected in that sense because their marriage wasn’t given the same social
acceptance as thier siblings was so I think familial and social acceptance is definitely desired Not so
much social but familial for sure ,,,, I came across another indian couple who actually got married in
Thailand one of which is very rich businessman based in dubai and that look like an ideal typical indian
marriage where it was a destination wedding ,,,one of the partners school teacher came and give a
speech and there was mummy papa chahca chahchi everyone and interestingly I went to a gay wedding
in delhi in DLF Gurgaon which was happened In the community centre in dlf ,,this is like two men again
hindus ,,one’s family is really very accepting who has a house in dlf and they got married with hindu
rituals one year ago so when we were going to a small party at their house with their parents and close
relatives all in one place ,,,only the one boy’s the other one’s parents ara not very accepting they infact
got them beaten when both of them living in Gujrat ,,,,,his whole family was there even kids uncles and
aunts and they made speeches which was like amazing ,,,so this is very interesting ….and I think that
next legal back is recognition of relationships and marriage because that is going a problem now you
know if u have a partner for ex ,…when I do a policy or open a new bank account I put my mother as my
nomination but what if u put ….i want him to get the money if in case something happens tome ,,,,so I
think those are the things which we will have to look at.

Reporter-----have you ever tried to get a hotel room with a guy ?

A--------yaa I met men in hotel rooms is never been an issue and in Five starts its never a issue they don’t
ask but in local hotels they ask adhar card ..once I was with a dutch guy and I gave my adhar card ..that
was not an issue

Reporter—apart from asking for your aadhar card ,say, , they suspect that there is a girl and a boy and
how the girl is dressed so twin beds or single bed ,has that ever happened ?

A----------It happened to me when I was with my partner at Bangkok but actually it was my fault …on my
request they join the beds ,,there was no resistance but in india once it did happned to me which was
really ebarrased me –both of us are boys ,and they give us two single beds I think it generally happens
across the world .

Repoerter--- do they assume that you are friends ,,is there resisitance to giving double bed

A------------see once youre a customer and you are inside a place they cannot refuse you is that what I
believe ..in my case it has never happened even In case I alone in the room and when I do work travel I
just tell them give me a double bed ,,I hate single beds …so in my case it has not happened and most of
these men are already staying in hotel and I went to meet them ..it wasn’t like check in to the room and
all ..

REPOrTER—you see a lot of instances when parents say we are okay with this but if you want to live
with us continue being a part of our family sign as an agreement that you wont get any property
because there is an assumption that you wont get married and wont conceive child ?

A--------No no no ..one intretsing thing which I m privileged in I don’t have any siblings plus my parents
are separated so they don’t have anyone else to go to but me ,,the cannot afford to alienate me from
their lives .so that’s why I also came out of very opportune moment I return after doing my masters
abroad I already had a secured job and I knew both of these people are separated and that’s why I told
them ..

Reporter—was there any violence verbal or otherwise …

A-------oh verbal yes …once my father asked me that I had aids and if I had sex with a man ofcourse I was
living with him so I was like whatever ..i never said anything .