Professional Documents
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Quinn Crescenzo
Formative Assessment Student Profile
(edTPA aligned Task 3: Prompts 1-4 Elementary)
I. Analyzing Student Learning
a. Explain the writing task, the objective and the measuring instrument.
This Language Arts writing task required students to write a short personal narrative paragraph
containing 2-5 sentences about something that makes them smile and why, including an illustration
of their writing. This task was handed out to students on a pre-printed worksheet with a box at the
top for an illustration and lines at the bottom for writing. When the worksheet was handed out,
students were instructed to pick one thing that makes them smile and write about it. The example
that was given to students by the teacher was “Birthday cake makes me smile because it is a nice
treat on my special day.” The teacher reminded students to explain why their chosen topic makes
them smile, and that it would help them to begin their paragraph with “_____ makes me smile
because…” which encourages them to give the reader an explanation of why their chosen topic
makes them smile. Students were also allowed to use booklets previously handed out titled “Words
I Use When I Write,” by Alana Trisler and Patrice Howe Cardiel, which is a small booklet with
common sight words and tier 1 words that students may have trouble spelling on their own.
The purpose of the writing task was for students to write a short paragraph containing 2-5 sentences
about something that makes them smile and why, including an illustration of their writing. This task
was also meant to see if students were able to articulate on their ideas more so than just writing
what makes them smile, and were meant to include detail and reasoning in their writing. The New
Jersey Student Learning Standard that all students should have met during this task, specifically
Anchor Standard for Writing is NJSLSA.W4. Produce clear and coherent writing in which the
development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience. Students
should also be at the NJSLS Progress Indicator standard for Writing W.2.3. Write narratives in
which they recount a well-elaborated event or short sequence of events, include details to describe
actions, thoughts, and feelings, use temporal words to signal event order, and provide a sense of
closure.
The tool used to analyze student writings was the 6 Traits of Effective Writing. This tool was used
because it was the best analysis tool available that covered each trait of what good writing should
include at a 2nd grade writing level. These writing samples were graded on word choice, sentence
fluency, voice, ideas, organization, and conventions on a scale of 1-6, 1 being struggling or
beginning writers, and 6 being secure and skilled writers. Students scoring a 1 or 2 were placed in
the beginning category, students scoring a 3 or 4 were placed in the developing category, and
students scoring a 5 were placed in the proficient category.
This graph was created to show student skill level in six different areas of writing based on the 6
Traits of Effective Writing student rubric. The students were judged in six areas including:
1. Word choice: the use of rich, colorful, precise language that moves and enlightens the
readers. Students should be writing using a wider variety of word choice, and use words that
are extremely clear, visual, and accurate. Students word choice should make the reader feel
how they were feeling during the event they are writing about.
2. Sentence fluency: The rhythm and flow of the language, the sound of word patterns, the way
in which the writing plays to the ear, not just to the eye. Students sentences should be clear
and natural for the reader to read and understand.
3. Voice: The heart and soul, magic, wit, feeling and conviction of the writer coming out.
Students individuality should shine in their writing and show their true personalities. Their
writing should like it came from them and only them.
4. Ideas: The heart of the message, the content of the piece, the main theme, with details that
enrich and develop that theme. The idea, or main topic of writing, should be clear, focused,
and specific. Without a clear idea, the reader may not understand what the writer is talking
about or why they are writing. Student’s writing should keep the readers’ attention and show
what the most important part of the topic is.
5. Organization: The internal structure, the thread of central meaning, the logical and
sometimes intriguing pattern of ideas. Students having a clear organizational structure to
their writing is key in making the reading of it easy. The order of their sentences should be
chronological and make the reader want to know what is coming next. Knowing what the
correct order to put sentences in and making the story flow is important in future writing.
6. Conventions: The mechanical correctness of the piece; spelling, grammar, and usage,
paragraphing, the use of capitals and punctuation. Knowing and using correct conventions in
writing is the building block for continuing writing correctly, and gives the reader an ease
while reading so they know where sentences start and stop. Students should have used
capital letters correctly, used periods, commas, quotation marks, and question marks in the
correct spots, spelling should be accurate, and the grammar should flow smoothly.
Within each of these six categories, students were given a grade on a scale from 1-5. A score of 1 or
2 means that students were struggling and needed help in the area. A score of 3 or 4 represents
developing writers that are proficient but still working on perfecting their skills. A score of 5 shows
that students are secure in the given skill and are able to move on to more difficult skills.
The strongest categories that most students were developing to proficient in was sentence fluency,
voice, and ideas. Sentence fluency in student writing samples was pretty even across the board, and
most students were able to create clear and readable writing that only needed minimal work in
either joining/cutting sentences or altering sentence beginnings. Voice was also apparent in most
student writing, where their papers show their personalities’ even though it faded in and out, and the
reader can mostly tell that their writing is from them. Students also showed that they had strong
ideas that had good parts but needed more detail added to fully explain their thoughts and feelings.
They stayed focused on their idea throughout their writing and were pretty clear about what they
meant when explaining what made them smile.
The weakest categories that some students struggled in were word choice, organization, and
conventions. About 1/3 of this class sample did not have a strong variety of word choice and tended
to drift towards using the same adjectives throughout their writing, for example using the word fun.
Organization in student writing was tough because many students did not begin their writing with
“______ makes me smile because,” and instead jumped right into their writing without much
organization being put into sequential writing, despite being reminded to do so before starting. In
addition, conventions such as spelling, capitals, and punctuation were not necessarily used in many
writing samples. Students generally left capital letters off of the beginning word of their sentences
or did not add periods at the end of their sentences. Since students used small booklets titled
“Words I Use When I Write” during this task, they were able to spell a majority of words correctly,
but still struggled with tier 2 words that are not generally used in their daily lives or in conversation.
c. Compare/contrast whole class needs to 3 individual needs.
Based on this whole-class data, students need to work on organization and word choice the most. Being
able to write a cohesive paragraph including sentences with good structure, punctuation, and
explanation is a key skill that is needed to move on to more difficult writing. All students struggled
with their opening sentences. They did not write “____ makes me smile because” and instead just
jumped right into their writing without a proper introduction. In addition, many students struggled with
word choice. Most students leaned on the phrase “it was fun” or “because I like it,” without really
describing their feelings, thoughts, or experiences in much detail. Student writing was not vivid and did
not show a lot of their true feelings about the topics they chose to write about. Without mastering these
skills, students will struggle when trying to write more in depth in later grades.
As evidenced by the three attached student samples…
Student A struggles the most with voice, ideas, and organization. Student A did not show really show
their voice in their writing because the idea that they began with is lacking in detail. This student
expressed that he was excited for his hockey game, but did not express how this event made him smile,
which was the task students were required to complete. To properly meet the goal of a task like this in
the future, student A needs significant assistance in sharing as much information as possible about the
topic chosen through details and personal feelings. Organization is lacking in his writing because he
did not begin by restating the prompt; instead his writing just takes off and lacks a proper ending to
wrap up his thoughts. Having this student focus on brainstorming his writing will help him practice
adding details and his own voice, as well as finding a proper organizational structure.
Student B needs significant help with sentence organization and finding an internal structure or
thread of central meaning in her writing. She struggled the most with organization; her paper just
took off without proper introduction, and her ideas are disconnected and somewhat jumbled
because they don’t really relate to her. Without being able to cohesively string ideas together to
structure writing, this student will not be able to successfully complete writing assignments in the
future that will be longer, more difficult, and of different genres. In addition, this student did not
use words that make her writing give the reader a vivid picture or idea of what is going on, and
instead stuck to basic terms that did not show her true personality or thoughts. Student B needs help
articulating her ideas and showing her true self in her writing. The structure of her writing is not up
to grade level and she needs work on giving her writing a central meaning and cohesive structure
based on her topic and idea.
Student C needs help in every writing trait, and would benefit from one-on-one tutoring time in writing
skills including intensive lessons on word choice, voice, and ideas, and additional help on sentence
fluency, organization, and conventions. This student struggles in each category due to not reading or
writing at a proficient 2nd grade level, and needs significant help in not only writing a cohesive and
fluent sentence, but in how to add detail and feeling to his writing so that the reader can understand his
writing and feel the same way he felt.
d. Describe in detail strengths and weaknesses.
Overall, students are good at coming up with a set idea and focusing on that one idea throughout
their writing. Almost all students were able to choose one thing that made them smile and stick to
that topic when writing without going off topic. Since the topic was clearly given to students, it was
important that they knew to only write about something that made them smile.
However, students do need to work on structure/organization, adding details, and conventions of
writing. From grade 2 to grade 3, students are expected to shift from New Jersey Student Learning
Standard W.2.3: Write narratives in which they recount a well-elaborated event or short sequence of
events, include details to describe actions, thoughts, and feelings, use temporal words to signal
event order, and provide a sense of closure, to NJSLS W.3.3: Write narratives to develop real or
imagined experiences or events using narrative technique, descriptive details, and clear event
sequences. The difference in these standards is that students move from simply recounting an event
including their thoughts and feelings to developing experiences or events using narrative techniques
and descriptive details. Without having a cohesive, organized, and detailed way of presenting
writing, students will struggle when moving on into higher grades where they will be asked to write
in more detail and give explanations about their writing, especially on the PARCC which starts in
grade 3.
Since Student B needs help with voice, ideas, organization, and conventions of writing. To help her
improve in each of these areas, I will need one-on-one writing instruction time with her to further
work on her writing abilities. To begin, student B’s writing did not really follow the prompt that
was given. Students were asked to write about something that makes them smile, but student B
wrote more of a short and scattered narrative of things that she did on a certain day. Though these
might be things that make student B smile, she did not distinctly say that they made her smile or
that they really had anything to do with her in general. Feedback to solve this problem should show
student B that she needs brainstorm an idea fully before beginning to write it, instead of just starting
an assignment without thinking about what she is going to write. In addition, student B needs to be
reminded that her writing has to reflect her own feelings and emotions as opposed to giving the
reader a recount of general events.
Since Student C has difficulty with every writing trait that their writing was graded on, he will need
extensive help in writing in general. This student writes on a much lower level than the majority of
his class because this is his first year not being homeschooled. Since student C has circumstances
different than the rest of this class, I will need to do extensive one-on-one writing practice with him
to get him up to grade level expectations. To begin, I will need to start with basic sentence
structure. Despite his struggles, student C did show that he understands the use of punctuation and
capitalization of the first word of his sentences. That being said, he needs help articulating the
beginning of a sentence instead of using the word ‘because,’ while also not properly introducing his
idea. There is no beginning to his writing and it just starts, nor is there an ending or closing
sentence to wrap the story up. In addition, he needs to show his voice and ideas. His writing was
very flat and did not show his true feelings, or give much information in general.
To monitor student progress, I will need to continuously collect work samples from each focus
student to check on their progress. Collecting a new work sample each week will show me what
they are improving upon, and what they may be stuck or confused about that would require more
individual assistance from me. In addition, taking students aside and working with them one on one
will help me monitor their progress and see their real time thought process while writing. This way,
if any intervention is needed, it can be immediately applied and show students where they are going
wrong and how to correct their mistakes in the future. This method will work best for my students
since they complete at least one writing assignment every day; they will be able to apply what we
are individually working on to new assignments and build upon their knowledge to meet a
satisfactory standard.
b. Explain how the positive and negative feedback will move the 3 focus students closer to their
learning objectives.
The feedback provided to my three focus students will improve their writing proficiencies and
enable them to successfully master at least one of their learning objectives.
One of the ways to intertwine positive and negative feedback to my students about their writing is
to put an emphasis on how the things that they wrote about were great topics to choose and that the
reader knew that those things made them smile, but did not know how they were truly feeling
during that time. Student A, B, and C all followed the prompt in the sense that they wrote about
things that in general would make someone smile, but did not write enough in depth about their
own feelings. To build on this, students should work on using more descriptive words, otherwise
known as colorful language in the form of adjectives, to truly make the reader feel the same way
they felt when the events in the story occurred. That way, students will be able to work on meeting
the learning objective while also feeling as if their writing is on the right track to success as
opposed to wrong or bad.
Another way that will be effective in giving my students both positive and negative feedback to
move students A, B, and C closer to their learning objectives is modeling for students a desired
organizational structure to follow during the writing process.
Specifically, students need to add details to their writing by recognizing a set structure that their
writing and sentences should follow. Reminding students to follow the “first, next, then, finally”
structure is the most effective way to make sure that students are adding sufficient detail and length
to their writing. When students turn in a writing assignment, I can provide them with positive
feedback by recognizing if they are attempting to follow the “first, next, then, finally” structure and
letting them know they are close to having the right structure, but to look back and see if they can
find what piece they are missing or where they could add something else. This way students are
self-correcting and learning from their mistakes. If students cannot find their error, teacher
intervention will be required to guide students.
c. Describe your plans for supporting each focus student in the future.
To support each of my focus students I will refer to their learning objectives when working with
them one on one, in a small group setting, or during instructional time when monitoring the whole
class. This can be done as simply as making a comment to students while they are writing. For
example, “Student C, you are doing such a good job of using your green word book to help yourself
spell words you don’t know. That really shows me that you are trying your best to figure out the
correct spelling of words instead of guessing or giving up!” The most effective way to refer to
learning objectives while working with the student is through giving them positive reinforcement
and praising what they are doing correctly, while also lending advice on what they could improve
upon to make their writing better. Students are generally pulled for individual instruction at least
once a week during their writing period, and I will need to make it a point to pull my three focus
students more frequently to support and reinforce their learning objectives. Since all three students
struggle in choosing an idea to write about, it would be beneficial to all of them to pull them
together as a small group and work on brainstorming ideas before beginning to write.
Brainstorming ideas on a structured chart that has these students follow the “first, next, then,
finally” strategy will aid them in gaining a better understanding of how to plan an idea thoroughly
and with necessary detail before beginning to write.
I will praise Student A when he successfully restates the writing prompt before beginning his
writing. Noticing that student A is restating the prompt is important in making sure he is following
the prompt because it will give his writing the organization it needs to have a clear beginning.
Checking in on student A while he is writing to monitor his sentence structures and additional
details will help him gain a better understanding of how to write using his voice based on his
chosen idea. Giving student A small hints about how he could improve his writing without giving
him too much information will help him form his own ideas and think about his writing while he is
actively doing it. Having student A refer back to a graphic organizer of his brainstorming will be
invaluable during the writing process for his writing to become proficient.
I will remind Student B that to begin her writing, it is best to restate the prompt. Saying this to her
in a positive way will remind her to do so, like by saying “If you restate the prompt, the reader
knows the topic that is being written about, and it can serve as a reminder to you (the writer) to stay
on topic since it is the first sentence of the story.” While student B is working on her writing, I will
need to check in with her frequently to check her progress and provide guidance if necessary. Since
student B struggled with organization and her story didn’t have a sense of order, when checking in
with her I will need to clearly help her structure any writing she has completed. To do this, student
B may have to complete more than one draft of her writing, and I will have to remind her that it is
okay to draft her writing a few times before coming to a completed product. Using a brainstorming
chart will aid student B in doing this efficiently and correctly.
I will continue to encourage Student C to write to his best ability. Since student C does not read or
write at a 2nd grade level, he will need significant positive reinforcement so he knows that what he
is working on is important and that he is doing a good job. Giving students positive reinforcement
encourages them to work harder to meet their goals, and student C has a few goals that need to be
met in order for him to write at a proficient level. In giving the class more writing assignments,
student C will need modified assignments in order to aid in his comprehension and allow him to
write to his best ability. Differentiation of these assignments could occur through giving him a
similar but more simply explained directions, or sitting with him to listen to him talk and aid him in
expressing his oral language in writing. Working one on one with student C is the best way to
reinforce the proper writing process as well as teach him basic spelling and grammar skills that he
lacks in.
(Sources: Literacy in the Middle Grades by Gail E. Tompkins and When Fewer Is More: Small
Groups in Early Childhood Classrooms by Barbara Wasik, published in the Early Childhood
Education Journal in June 2008; volume 35, issue 6, pages 515-521.)