Girdlestone 1

Linkin Girdlestone

Mrs. Cramer

English Comp I Pd. 5A

5 Oct. 2018

Premarital Cohabitation: How it works and is it worth it?

The act of cohabitation includes living with and having a personal relationship with a

significant other without having a documented marriage. Does it benefit the well-being of the

people involved? Is it a helpful tool to see how well marriage will pan out? Is it morally correct?

Does it improve the financial standards of the participants? All these questions are debated about

within the communities of married couples, cohabitational relationships, and even specific

religions. All of these separate communities, with their own well-respected opinions, bring up

valid points in many of the important questions stated previously. Whether it is in the matter of

money and finance, the mental health and happiness of the people involved in the relationship, or

their own set of specific morals, cohabitation before marriage has its own set of pros and cons

that are commonly debated about.

The individual's happiness within their personal relationship is one of the main concerns

regarding premarital cohabitation, living together before an official marriage document. While

marriage is the face of life long commitments, premarital cohabitation can prove to have its own

pros and cons concerning its own specific happiness. Mental health is a big point to be brought

up in this debate between cohabitational relationships and marriage. Some would say that being

able to live together before tying the knot shows how the two living together work and how

compatible they are with their significant other. This being a main argument for the idea of
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cohabitation before marriage, it makes sense to have a sort of trial run before making things

official with the ceremony and documents. For example, a study of one hundred fifty-nine

married couples that cohabited and did not cohabitate before their marriage conducted by

Michael D. Newcomb and Peter M. Bentler showed that generally, those who cohabited before

marriage had better leadership roles, more creative, and more interactive with the significant

other that they lived with. In addition to that an interview of married and unmarried couples

living together, done by USA Today, shows that 12% of married couples believed that their

cohabitation before marriage improved the happiness of their existing children with regards to

their parent's relationship. While this may be true in some aspects, an article in Demography

Vol. 23 states that cohabitation before an existing marriage makes the future marriage slightly

more likely to dissolve within the first 5 years. It also seems that cohabitation could set a sort of

false image of marriage when the participants don’t take in account financial shifts while going

through and maintaining the marital process. In terms of mental stability and happiness, each

side of the debate has a very good understanding of the pros and cons set by premarital

cohabitation. However, personal morals are another story.

While the idea of happiness within a relationship is very important, a lot of what is

debated about is its strike away from the normal tradition that was set in the 20th century.

Intimate relations and living together were very frowned upon in the religious community and

even still today. While in the religious community, the act of cohabitation before marriage is

very frowned upon, as implied in Demography Vol. 23 and the Pros and Cons of Living

Together before Marriage article, written by Paul Goodman, the less religious communities and

even scientific communities sees it as a more beneficial way of living with another person.

Morals are a big part of what makes us as the individual, different from the other people in our
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society. So, for some, premarital living and interaction of certain natures are frowned upon and

even prohibited. While others see it as a more beneficial way of living because of its personal

benefits.

The two first points that were listed in about premarital cohabitation are very important to

the argument on whether or not it is worth it. However, the biggest issue that is discussed about

this way of living day to day, is that of money and finance. Yes, money cannot buy happiness,

but without money, neither of the participants of the relationship will be able to function in their

own respective part of society. In respect to financial situations, cohabitational relationships can

be very beneficial, because they can witness firsthand how their significant other is spending

their money and the money they themselves pitch in for the household. This specific idea can

mean a lot of things. The spending habits of each spouse can determine the success of a

household and a family. If the person they are cohabiting with has poor spending habits, it can

deter them from starting a life-long commitment with them. On the other hand, if they have

acceptional spending habits, they know how to save money, look for discounts, and buy cheaper

items or services, then they know they can cooperate them on the terms of a financial

relationship. While that may true, most cohabitational relationships that turn into a marriage have

a hard time transitioning into new taxing circumstances. This could cause a problem with the

way they pay bills, pay rent, work on a day to day basis, and even buy food for them and their

family, assuming they have one. Even financially the act of cohabitation has its pros and cons.

The idea of living as a financial group instead of individual is almost enough for some people to

live together without or before marriage.

The importance of money, mental health, and individual morals can prove to the people

within the marriage community why or why not cohabitation before marriage is right for them.
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Money makes the world go round and makes a family run without a hitch. The mental health of

those involved is the main reason for getting into a relationship in the first place; happiness is a

priority. Lastly, morals are a big part of marriage, as it is a religious event in its origin. All of

these reasons are how the couples make or break cohabitation.