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Segourney Smith

Professor Batty

English 102

07 December 2018

Shattered

Love is torcherous. Unrequited love is the unfathomable fiend in every tragic hero’s

daunting quest for reciprocation. However, is it possible to presume the eerie villainous being

transfixed on provoking havoc has the potential to derive from within? 16 year-old songwriter

Billie Eilish adheres to this notion closely. In one of her more recent songs titled

“idontwannabeyouanymore”, Eilish isolates herself in front of a mirror, and is convinced she is

no longer herself and is merely the distorted image of something created by society. Although

one could potentially argue Eilish’s music is mainstream and capitalizes off of exploiting her

mental health to a specific target audience, her song “idontwanttobeyouanymore” demonstrates a

more vivid understanding of Eilish’s infuriated distaste towards herself because she is able to

vocalize her true feelings through the internal structure of the song, convey her distraught

behavior from a compressed scope of intimate language, and she recognizes her mental health

and aggressive self hatred is what is beginning to affect her viewing of society causing her to be

unable to differentiate who she was and what she may become—making this, arguably, one of

Eilish’s most personal songs.

The annunciation of stressed and unstressed syllables creates a calming lullaby-like

melody, which allows for the song to mirror a similar scheme of a poem. The scheme Eilish

chose to utilize throughout the first and third stanza is referred to as a triplet. In poetry, a triplet
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is referred to as the rhyme scheme ‘AAA’ followed by ‘BBB’, therefore instead of two lines

rhyming, a triplet’s scheme has three lines that rhyme. Eilish uses a triplet to emphasis the

importance of the first and third stanza; the pattern of each triple follows short line, short line and

long line. The shorter lines concentrate on starting off with higher range with more stressed

syllables while the ending of each line tends to be of a lower range. In a similar fashion, the third

line in each stanza is the longest line, and is syllables used in this line are dragged out the most.

This is due to it containing the most important, enriching depiction of how Eilish feels about

herself, such as when she reprimands her distorted self for having a “...mood that” she wishes she

“...could sell” (6). The structure of the line raises in key as mood is the stressed syllable and sell

is the unstressed syllable, and this tactic hones in on the importance of the line, because listeners

are focused on the way the words sound and mesh together. Its deeper meaning coinciding with

the burden Eilish cares is what will be taken away. However, the second and fourth stanza lack

any form of a scheme, though they remain consistent with the use of a high to low range to put

emphasis on the stressed and unstressed syllables. In doing so, I find that Eilish is isolating her

thoughts, and we are given a glance into her stream of consciousness. She purposefully makes

the second and fourth stanza the chorus, and truly puts forth as much force as she can vocally so

that people are able to focus on the meaning of those stanzas the most. The overall melody of the

song is euphonious, but this is a deliberate tactic to mask the distress and bury it beneath the

lullaby-like tone

Eilish wisely conveys her thoughts through her use of metaphors, thus allowing the

importance of the song to be nurtured. For instance, in the second stanza, one of Eilish’s most

notable lines “If teardrops could be bottled / There’d by swimming pools filled by models” (7-8)

is a metaphor used to directly address the harsh reality celebrities face when living in the
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limelight. Majority of the time, models are directly linked to society’s interpretation of perfection

because they are similar to moving mannequins and are constantly being observed. Eilish makes

the claim that because models are constantly being overanalyzed and adjusted, they can never

truly be themselves. Another instance where we see Eilish making commentary on society is

when she adds “Told ‘a tight dress is what makes you a wh*re’”(9), which is another metaphor

for a well known stereotype that targets women in the music industry. They are often told they

must look a certain way in order to be liked, but if they do dress nice they’ll be shamed for it,

and if they don’t dress nice then they’ll be thought of as repulsive and unstable. Eilish really tries

to refute the preconceived idea society has on objectifying women by embedding these key

metaphors into her lyrics so that they stand out and can be recognized by the public.

By closely honing in on Eilish’s diction, we can see from a lensed point of view how she

really feels about herself, and what it is like being a teenager in the limelight. For example, in the

second verse, we vividly recognize her depressive state and how it reflects on her desiring to be

someone else. Eilish creates an image of “Hands getting cold” and amplifies it by adding

“Losing feeling is getting old” (14-15), which is a direct emotional link we can relate back to as

being frustration and tiredness. She is tired of constantly being forced to project herself into the

world and giving all of herself and receiving nothing in return. Many teenagers face this similar

reality of having to go day by day projecting ourselves and getting little in return. We then move

further into Eilish’s mind when she questions if she were “...made from a broken mold” (16),

which emphasises her struggle to fit in and understand her place in the world. The wording is

undoubtedly creating this yearning to be someone but not particularly being allowed that

opportunity. As teens we struggle to figure out where we belong and often denounce ourselves.
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In addition, Eilish’s strategic approach at using diction demonstrates her capability to craft a

more intimate piece of writing many can also relate to.

Overall, it is clearly evident that the song “idontwannabeyouanymore” was written with

the intent of conveying Eilish’s battle with depression and unrequited self-love, which is

something many can relate to. Although many could denounce this by saying it is another

mainstream classic used to paint society in a negative light, we can see through the song’s

interior. There is a lot of intimacy that we emotionally connect to because it is such a raw and

juvenile environment. There’s a lot of direct correlations between what we want to say but never

really can admit, and by Eilish opening up, we are allowed to also open up and relate back to our

own demons controlling us. Society offers little justifications for its embedded rules, and forcing

it onto, most notably, teens is what creates a detachment and isolation, so it’s truly important for

singers like Eilish to offer a place where we can be ourselves and not worry about fitting in.

Work Cited

Eilish, Billie. “idontwannabeyouanymore.” Don’t Smile At Me, Interscope

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Records, 2017, track 2.

Appendix A

Idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

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Don't be that way

Fall apart twice a day

I just wish you could feel what you say

Show, never tell

But I know you too well

Kind of mood that you wish you could sell

If teardrops could be bottled

There'd be swimming pools filled by models

Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore

If "I love you" was a promise

Would you break it, if you're honest

Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before

I don't wanna be you anymore

Hands, hands getting cold

Losing feeling's getting old

Was I made from a broken mold?

Hurt, I can't shake

We've made every mistake

Only you know the way that I break

If teardrops could be bottled

There'd be swimming pools filled by models

Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore

If "I love you" was a promise

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Would you break it, if you're honest

Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before

I don't wanna be you

I don't wanna be you

I don't wanna be you... anymore