Alison Williams

ENG 315 WI

Kidwatching Description and Reflection

Understanding How Language & Literacy Develop

This semester, I had the pleasure of focusing on a shy but bright fourth grader. As time

progresses, I learn something new about her almost every time I’m there. First off, her parents

are divorced. She lives mainly with her mom. She does not have a lot of friends at the school and

does not try to communicate with any of her peers. Her best friend is her dog, Lisa.

Additionally, my focal student strives to make adults happy. She works best when working with

someone older, and when she is given praise for small accomplishments. Outside of school, she

enjoys playing Minecraft on her tablet, and baking cookies with her mom. My focal student has

really been working on working on being more independent. She often needs reassurance from

her teacher that she is on the right track and does not like to make mistakes. I have worked

closely with my host teacher in ensuring we give her enough praise to motivate her, but continue

to push her to try new things on her own,

My focal student is an extremely friendly child who just needs some more hep getting

along with peers. She is incredibly funny and has a wild imagination, so I know by opening up

her shell a little bit, she could easily make some more friends. I have also noticed that my focal

student has a hard time putting her imagination into words. She comes up with extremely

detailed stories when telling them out loud but has a rather hard time expressing these stories

when it comes to writing them down. I know with a little bit of encouragement, writing down her

words will become a second nature to her.

Interacting with Children

The time I spend with my focal student is always positive in nature. She is incredibly

enthusiastic and clearly loves to learn. Though she has difficulty staying on task, she always has

something to say and ideas to add. Whenever it is time to work on writing, she always asks if I

can take her to a different room. She believes that the other students are distracting, and she

needs a quieter place to work alone with me. She feels as though she needs my help in order to

be successful in writing. I have been working closely with her to change this, and so far, it does

seem to be getting better. When we sit down to write, I always have a brief conference with her. I

ask her where she is, where she’s supposed to be, an what her plans are. My focal student seems

to succeed more when she has the opportunity to discuss these things out loud, rather than having

to go straight to writing.

My focal student enjoys talking and making up stories. Her imagination sometimes gets

the best of her. I often have to reel her back in by asking if what she’s saying goes along with

what she’s writing. She will stop to think about this, but usually corrects her self and gets back

on task. By talking through her plans, my focal student has an easier time conveying what she’s

thinking into her writing.

Observing or Documenting Children’s Knowledge

Through my observations, I have learned that my focal student has a strong imagination,

and a great understanding of storytelling. Her sentences definitely need some work. Her words

all jumble into one long sentence with no spaces. Though this makes it near impossible to read,

she has no issues reading it back to me word for word. Though she’s in fourth grade, my focal

student often still struggles with her letters; Which way they face, capital vs lower case, and
spelling simple words are all things she is still working on. She is aware of this though as she

will pause to think about letter direction, and circles words she’s not quite sure how to spell

when I am not there to assist. When given some direction, my focal student seems to do well in

writing. If I have to step away to help another student, she often stops writing and will watch

until I get back. These are still things we are working on together to correct. Before leaving, I

will ask her to have at least two more sentences completed before I return. By giving her these

small, obtainable goals, she seems to do well when she works on her own.

Engaging in self evaluation

During my time with the student, I try to let her be as independent as possible. I ask open

ended questions, so she can reach a conclusion on her own. I often repeat things back or make

comments on her stories to show her I am listening, even if sometimes what is being said is not

completely relevant to the task at hand. I often go back to handouts from the host teacher when

instructing my focal student. I give her ideas on different ways to use the handouts to her benefit,

so she remembers to pull t out of her folder when she’s stuck. By helping my student gain some

self-confidence, she clearly is more willing to work independently and does not seek affirmation

constantly.

Kidwatching has given me a new perspective on how to interact with my student and has

made me aware of what I am saying and asking when conferencing with students. Before, I often

wanted to give the child the correct answer if they seemed to be struggling, and now I am able to

ask more questions to redirect them to the answer that best suits them. This is extremely

important to carry with me as a future educator because when a student comes to a conclusion on

their own, not only is it rewarding to the student mentally, but it also helps with problem solving

skills and development.

Using Evaluation to Inform Instruction

The next instructional step I would suggest for my focal student is to allow her work with

peers. I believe that if she’s able to gain the same affirmation from her peers, not only will she

gain positive attention, but she might also make some friends along the way. She should have

time to use her creative imagination to write fictional stories. If offered a free writing

opportunity, she will have a chance to express these ideas and might even come up with a great

writing topic.
 Conference Reflective Report

Context

My focal student this semester is a fourth grader attending an elementary school in

Shepherd. I conducted a conference over the fictional narrative assignment they have been

working on. For this assignment, students were asked to look back at a time that was important

to them and to reflect on it, while adding a little twist to make it fictional. In the introduction,

students had to introduce their main character while providing enough detail to make the

character visible to readers. The host teacher provided a list of descriptive words to help the

students shape their character. In the body paragraphs, students had to first begin by writing four

events, each of which were in a separate paragraph. Students then used the sticky notes to form

their body, while keeping in mind that each sticky note should be a new paragraph. The students

then wrapped up their fictional narrative with a conclusion to their story, which included a lesson

they wanted the readers to learn. The students also had to include dialogue in at least one

paragraph in their narrative and were given a dialogue sheet to follow. My focal student had

chosen to write about a time her and her father went fishing, and to make it fictional, her

character was pulled out of the boat by a big fish.

For this specific conference, I worked with my focal student about her planning phase. At

the beginning of the year, the students had participated in a pre-test. They were given a blank

sheet of scratch paper and lined paper and were asked to write about a moment that was

important to them. My focal student had a decent planning “story mountain” on their scratch

paper but did not have a single word on her lined paper. Their story mountain had lots of ideas,
but they were all mashed together and rather hard to read. My focal student was working on not

content, but also sentence structure as well and making sure to include spaces between words.

Conference:

The conference began with my focal student raising their hand and stating she had

completed her fictional narrative. I retrieved her original pre-test and we went and sat in the hall

so the rest of the students could keep working. We sat at a small table and I placed her original

paper in front of her. I asked her how she was feeling and if there was anything to go over. She

was very proud of her paper and the fact she typed it all on her computer. I asked her how she

felt about her current paper and what improvements she saw. She pointed out that she was able to

plan better, making the words bigger and clearer. She also stated that she liked typing on the

computer better than writing because she didn’t have to plan how far apart her words should be. I

brought her attention back to the original pre-test and asked her what she thought she would do

differently now that she’s had more practice. She looked at her blank page and said she would do

everything differently all while smiling big. She told me that she felt much more confident about

writing, but still would rather type. I taught my focal student how to use finger spaces so that

when she is writing, she won’t have to worry about having one long jumbled mess. I explained

that when I was younger, I also had a hard time using correct spacing. She thought the finger

spaces might take her too long to write her paper, but I explained that after a while she will get

used to writing the spaces on her own. I wrote the word “I” on a piece of paper, then put my

finger down next to it. Next, I wrote the word “like,” followed by a finger space, and then

another word, “to.” Next, I had her use her finger to make a space and the I wrote the word “go.”
I then asked her to finish the sentence and use finger spaces along the way. My focal student

decided this was a great technique and would use it in her future writings.

Reflection

I feel as though this conference was rather short, but most of them are. When I am in my

host teacher’s classroom, we only have 45 minutes to work with the students. 10 to 15 minutes

are used for mini lessons so we often have less than half an hour to actually work with them.

Additionally, the host teacher expects us to work with the whole class, so I rarely get to speak

directly with my focal student because other students raise their hands and need help. However, I

felt this conference with my focal student was very beneficial because I was able to speak with

her one on one and was able to give her a few tips and praise, which she uses as motivation.

Additionally, I believe that my focal student has learned a lot about herself as a writer during this

assignment, and about different strategies that will help her plan her writing so she does not get

stuck on what to write. These are strategies she will be able to use in the next assignment,

persuasive essays.

Evaluation/ Extension

In my conferences, I have utilized a few different key practices with my focal student.

First, I related to the student. I explained to her that I had the same problem, gave her my

technique for fixing it, and explained that it will work with time. When she heard that I went

through the same problem when I was younger, she was much more willing to try the finger

spaces even if it meant adding on some time to her writing. I also think I created a comfortable

structure for my focal student. I recall one point when she looked at me and said, “you have
helped me so much.” This was very rewarding! There are definitely some more techniques I can

incorporate into my conferences, but with such short time, I sometimes forget. Overall, I believe

that by implementing these techniques, I will strengthen myself as a future teacher and the

students as writers.
To: Host Teacher

From: Alison Williams

Re: Focal Student’s Writing Progress

Introduction

I would first like to begin by thanking you for the opportunity to work with your students

during writing time this semester. Throughout the semester I had the privilege of monitoring my

focal student’s progress and observing her learning. The assignment I decided to discuss with

you in detail about is the fictional narrative my focal student worked on. As you know, the

students were required to think back on a time that had meaning to them, add a fictional twist,

and zoom in on small moments. I would like to discuss my observations with you regarding my

focal student’s writing progress through this assignment.

Description of Findings

For her fictional narrative, my focal student chose to write about the day her and her

father went fishing. She made it fictional by having the father fall into the water when the boat

hit a rock. My focal student made sure to include an intro, a hook, as well as a conclusion to

wrap up her story, just like her story mountain pre-writing had taught her. Her tittle was worded

a little funny, but still made her point. Her title was: “The Day to Fish.”

Interpretations

 My focal student organized her small moments according to the requirements provided in

class and stuck to her topic throughout her writing. Though some sentences were
 awkward, her story had an understandable intro, middle and end and definitely included a

hook (no pun intended): The father fell into the water.

 My focal student had some trouble with sentence structure. She seemed unsure of where

to put punctuation, and often wrote two sentences together. She also was unsure of where

to indent, so there were very random paragraphs throughout her paper.

 My focal student had some trouble spelling words. She had trouble spelling her main

characters name, Lisa, and spelled it a few different ways: Lesa, Leasu. My focal student

also has trouble with d’s and b’s and often confuses the two. In a few instances, she wrote

“bad” instead of “dad.”

 My focal student did make one noticeable change with her spacing after I discussed

finger spacing with her. As far as her typed piece, I was very happy to see her include

emotion by adding exclamation points, something we had discussed in a previous

conference to add “pizzazz” to her paper. For example, she stated that her main character

was so tired that she could hardly keep her eyes open!

Next Steps for Learning

If my focal student were to revise and improve her piece, she could work on her sentence

and paragraph structure to clean it up a little bit and make it easier to read. Her hook was strong,

and she has an amazing imagination that provides great detail in her stories, but because her

sentence structure needs improvement, it takes away from the overall quality of her paper.

In future writing, I would encourage my focal student to read her piece out loud to see if

there are any awkward sentence structures or pauses that need to be changed. She has proven that

she can add lots of details and descriptions, so in future writing I would encourage her to read

her piece aloud and to work on formatting her sentences and quotes better.
References (Attached)

Sample of Student Work: The Day to Fish

M-Step ELA Opinion Performance Task: Full-Write Essay, Grades 3-5 Rubric

“Narrative Writing Progress Report” provided by Host Teacher

 The day to fish

First Lesa and Stanel her dad are going fishing Lesa got up at 2:00 in the
morning.
She is so tired she can't open her eyes! Her dad says to Leasu
“Good morning darling.” with his hands foly over stove to go fishing and to go
swimming. He toss it into the car with a slan de hind hime and drives off.
Next Lesa and Sanely they get to the pond . It's green and it smells like poop¨she
said, ¨but it's clear . we owers throw up but we unpack and got in the boat and then
went fishing at the pond.

Later that evening the ocean flows into the river which flows into the pond wut
make the boat rock and then her dad fell out fove the doat. She jumped up and jump in
the water.
Lastly they went home and they were dripping wet they went to the bathroom to
grab towels when they are dry they are going to bed after.

Finally a the end of the day. As Lesa lady in bed she thought about spending time with
her bad was so fun.
 ELA Narrative Performance Task
Full-Write Essay
Grades 3–8

Each student response is scored for three traits: organization/purpose (4 points possible),
development/elaboration (4 points possible), and conventions (2 points possible).
Score
The organization of the narrative, real or imagined, is fully sustained and the focus is
clear and maintained throughout:
• an effective plot helps to create a sense of unity and completeness
• effectively establishes a setting, narrator/characters, and/or point of view*
4
• consistent use of a variety of transitional strategies to clarify the relationships
between and among ideas; strong connection between and among ideas
• natural, logical sequence of events from beginning to end
• effective opening and closure for audience and purpose
The organization of the narrative, real or imagined, is adequately sustained, and the
focus is adequate and generally maintained:
• an evident plot helps to create a sense of unity and completeness, though there may
be minor flaws and some ideas may be loosely connected
3 • adequately establishes a setting, narrator/characters, and/or point of view*
• adequate use of a variety of transitional strategies to clarify the relationships between
and among ideas
• adequate sequence of events from beginning to end
• adequate opening and closure for audience and purpose
The organization of the narrative, real or imagined, is somewhat sustained and may have
an uneven focus:
• there may be an inconsistent plot, and/or flaws may be evident
• unevenly or minimally establishes a setting, narrator/characters, and/or point of
2
view*
• uneven use of appropriate transitional strategies and/or little variety
• weak or uneven sequence of events
• opening and closure, if present, are weak
The organization of the narrative, real or imagined, may be maintained but may provide
little or no focus:
• there is little or no discernible plot or there may just be a series of events
• may be brief or there is little to no attempt to establish a setting, narrator/characters,
1 and/or point of view*
• few or no appropriate transitional strategies may be evident and may cause confusion
• little or no organization of an event sequence; frequent extraneous ideas and/or a
major drift may be evident
• opening and/or closure may be missing or unsatisfactory
 • Insufficient (includes copied text)
NS • In a language other than English
• Off-topic
• Off-purpose
*point of view begins at grade 7

Score
The narrative, real or imagined, provides thorough, effective elaboration using relevant
details, dialogue, and description:
• experiences, characters, setting and events are clearly developed
• connections to source materials may enhance the narrative
4 • effective use of a variety of narrative techniques that advance the story or illustrate
the experience
• effective use of sensory, concrete, and figurative language that clearly advances
the purpose
• effective, appropriate style enhances the narration
The narrative, real or imagined, provides adequate elaboration using details, dialogue,
and description: experiences, characters, setting, and events are adequately developed
• connections to source materials may contribute to the narrative
• adequate use of a variety of narrative techniques that generally advance the story
3 or illustrate the experience
• adequate use of sensory, concrete, and figurative language that generally advances
the purpose
• generally appropriate style is evident
The narrative, real or imagined, provides uneven, cursory elaboration using partial and
uneven details, dialogue, and description:
• experiences, characters, setting, and events are unevenly developed
• connections to source materials may be ineffective, awkward or vague but do not
2 interfere with the narrative
• narrative techniques are uneven and inconsistent
• partial or weak use of sensory, concrete, and figurative language that may not
advance the purpose
• inconsistent or weak attempt to create appropriate style
The narrative, real or imagined, provides minimal elaboration using few or no details,
dialogue, and/or description:
• experiences, characters, setting, and events may be vague, lack clarity, or confusing
• connections to source materials, if evident, may detract from the narrative
1
• use of narrative techniques may be minimal, absent, incorrect, or irrelevant
• may have little or no use of sensory, concrete, or figurative language; language
does not advance and may interfere with the purpose
• little or no evidence of appropriate style
 • Insufficient (includes copied text)
NS • In a language other than English
• Off-topic
• Off-purpose

Score
The response demonstrates an adequate command of conventions:
2 adequate use of correct sentence formation, punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage,
and spelling

The response demonstrates a partial command of conventions:

1 limited use of correct sentence formation, punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage,
and spelling
The response demonstrates little or no command of conventions:
0 infrequent use of correct sentence formation, punctuation, capitalization, grammar
usage, and spelling
• Insufficient (includes copied text)
• In a language other than English
NS
• Off-topic
• Off-purpose

Conventions are scored holistically per grade-level standards considering the following guidelines:

• Variety: A range of errors includes sentence formation, punctuation, capitalization, grammar usage,
and spelling.
• Severity: Basic errors are more heavily weighted than higher-level errors.
• Density: The proportion of errors to the amount of writing done well. This includes the ratio of
errors to the length of the piece