Pedroza

Shyanne Pedroza Pledged

Professor Brantley

English 101

8 November 2018

Are Parents Putting Too Much Pressure on Children?

As a child did you ever feel as if everything that you did had to be perfect because your

parents had engraved that idea into your mind? According to the American Psychological

Association, children age 8 to 17 say they suffer from headaches, sleeplessness and upset

stomachs due to the stress that they are dealing with (Munsey). Parents are constantly putting

pressure on children to do and be the best in academics, sports, and fine arts. Putting too much

pressure on children is doing more harm than good, increasing mental illnesses, risk of suicide,

and self-esteem problems. The rates to these problems can be drastically decreased if parents

develop different ways in encouraging their children.

Children are experiencing more stress than what they should be. Rather than being able to

have a positive memorable childhood, they are having to worry about being the best child

because their parents are demanding perfection. As shown in the image below, the Cognitive

Behavioral Therapy-based programs have done

studies that show the ratio of children trying to

cope with stress. Parents may criticize a child for

the things that they do wrong more than they are

being praised for the good that they are doing (Morin). Parents think that children should not be

praised for the good because it is expected of them. An example of parents putting an excessive

amount of pressure in academics is children are told that the only grades accepted are A’s. In
 Pedroza
2

sports, parents may see it as more of an investment, they want their children to possibly get a

scholarship to cut college expenses (Quinn). Because of this, they expect their child to put all of

their time into perfecting their skill instead of allowing them to enjoy the sport and have fun

while they are still children. The kids who feel overwhelmed with all of these demands are the

same ones that are affected by stress.

Stress in a child is caused when a child must learn to adapt or change. It mostly occurs

with negative aspects, such as the demands that are placed on a child and their ability to meet the

standards parents insist be met. Parents want their child to be the best because of how

competitive it is in this country to be categorized as “well-off” (Rosen). Doing well in grade

school is a must to parents so that way their child is able to get accepted to the best colleges,

receive the best education, and in return have the best chance of getting into a good career. The

competitive culture that this country has developed is what has caused parents to ask for

perfection from their child since they want them to grow to live a “good” life.

However, pressure at a young age is not healthy because of the negative effects that stress

has on the child. Stress causes harm to the child’s body and mind. The U.S. National Library of

Medicine states that the physical body is harmed when the child experiences sleep disturbances,

changes in eating habits, headaches, nightmares/bedwetting, and stomach pains. The mental and

emotional harm it causes are anxiety, anger, aggressive behavior (Pellissier). They also have a

greater risk of developing depression. Since a child’s brain is not fully developed, they are at risk

of cognitive damage. A child’s self esteem will decrease; they will feel as if they are not good

enough if they are constantly stressed to perform perfection and do not meet that standard. The

feeling of not being good enough also increases their risk in suicide (Morin). According to

verywellfamily.com, approximately one in five students had contemplated suicide due to the
 Pedroza
3

enormous pressure from parents to produce “good grades”. Pressure on a child may also have the

opposite outcomes that a parent was expecting. It can cause the child to feel unmotivated and

want to quit (Nauert PhD). This means that a child will not take opportunities that will enhance

their character. Stress on children is a serious problem considering that their health is in danger.

The best way a parent can keep their child from becoming too stressed out is by using

encouragement and affection, rather than demanding that they meet unreasonable expectations.

A child will see that a behavior that was done was praised and it is most likely that they will

repeat that behavior. This is also an example of authoritative parenting. Encouragement can be

shown in academics by offering your child your help with homework. If parents demand

perfection in sports, they will not be encouraging an opportunity for growth, and that is the joy of

playing sports (Quinn). The only bad thing about too much encouragement is that a child may

feel as if they have low expectations (Morin).

Another solution to parents reducing a child’s stress due to parental pressure is for them

to accept failure from a child. Parents must not think that every single situation that a child

encounters is going to be life altering (Quinn). Failure is sometimes the best way for a child to

learn because they must be faced with the consequences when choosing to slack off. They are

also able to test their best abilities and they will learn to become resilient. If parents do not teach

their child to deal with failure, when the child fails in the long run, they will not know how to

tolerate it and feel helpless. It can also cause children to give up when not knowing how to deal

with their failure.

The last thing a parent should do is to pay attention to a child’s effort, not just the

outcome (Morin). The outcomes to things are sometimes uncontrollable for a child; however,

their effort is something that they do have the ability to control. This will also help the child not
 Pedroza
4

be so overwhelmed with the results that their parents expect, but with the beauty in focusing on

their effort to developing skills. A child will also believe in improvement and stay motivated to

try harder.

As you can see, stress amongst children due to the pressure of parents is a situation that

we seem to move passed. People may think that a child has the most care-free life. That is not the

case. All of the stress built up in a child because of pressure is unnecessary and needs to be

changed to reduce a child’s stress level. This will benefit the child physically and emotionally.
 Pedroza
5

Works Cited

6 Proven Ways To Encourage Kids Effectively (Without Side Effects) - Parenting For

Brain.” Google Search, Google

Morin, Amy, and Lcsw. “How to Make Expectations Reasonable With Less Pressure for Your

Child.” Verywell Family, Verywellfamily

Munsey, Christopher. “The Kids Aren’t All Right.” American Psychological Association,

American Psychological Association, 2010

Nauart, Rick. “Parents Should Not Put Too Much Pressure on Kids.” Psych Central, 1 Dec. 2016

Pellissier, Hank. “Stress and Your Child's Brain.” Parenting, 13 June 2018

Quinn, Bobbie. “Youth Sports: How Parental Pressures Affect Young Athletes.” Gladiator

Custom Mouthguards, 15 June 2018

Rosen, Rebecca J. “Why Affluent Parents Put So Much Pressure on Their Kids.” Google Search,

Google, 21 Nov. 2015

Shaw, Gina. “10 Reasons Your Child Might Be Stressed.” WebMD, WebMD, 27 Aug. 2015

“Stress in Childhood: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia.” MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library

of Medicine, 2018

“When Faced With Stress, Depression and Anxiety, Everyone Needs Help to COPE.” When

Faced With Stress, Depression and Anxiety, Everyone Needs Help to COPE
Pedroza
6