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Tyroganon Ferox's still struggles to bring his children back from their
extinction, and so his servants include pseudo-imaginary dinosaurs and
shuddering time-paradox zombies. In the hallucinatory jungles of Mar Maroo,
his savage tribes protect and ride their flocks of almost-real dinosaurs.
The Dinosaur Lord of Impossible History has been following the present
timeline very closely. And although he doesn't technically exist in the current
world--yet--his dinosaurs have been slinking along the timelines, devouring all
the mammals along the unused timeways.
Travel far back enough in time, and you may even bump into
Tyroganon Ferox himself, who blocks out the sun while
pterosaurs circle him crying out their praises. His children have trampled your dead heroes into the dust. The recent
past is full of dinosaurs tearing down your cities and roaring triumphantly.
Listen, wizard, time travel is a bad idea. The dinosaurs rule the past. Sometimes paladins declare war on the
dinosaurs, but it is a foolish battle. The great warriors of the present cannot hope to do battle with billions of years of
dinosaurs. Their kingdoms stretch from yesterday to the earliest primordial slimes.
Tyroganon Ferox and his clerics, have the following domains: Time, Time-Paradoxes, Bones, Dinosaurs, Reptiles,
Birds, Eggs, Bravery, Volcanoes, and the Return of the Fallen.
The Dinosaur People
The dinosaur faithful claim that dinosaurs went extinct when Pelusia
Macrolactica, the mammalian goddess of hair and boobs, collided with
the planet. While Pelusia Macrolactica is certainly not among any of
the pantheons worshipped today, the dinosaur faithful insist that
somewhere in the depths of hell, a foul mountain of monstrous
breasts crawls and lactates.
The dinosaur tribes live in the deep jungle, and although they struggle
against giant insects and pseudo-imaginary diseases, they are not
savages. The build castles of grass and mud, and launch themselves from wooden towers on pterosaur-skin gliders.
Though dead timeways, they bring a few dinosaurs into the world with faith and paradoxes, but these mighty
creatures are easily defeated by wizards, who can dismiss them as illusions.
A few of the tribes half half-dinosaurs, formed from the blessed union between a human and a psuedo-imaginary
dinosaur. They are halfway real, and not as vulnerable as their mostly-imaginary progenitors.
Use the rules for clerics from your favorite edition, with the following changes.
- Same armor and weapons, but prefer armor made from giant bones and
helmets that look like dinosaurs.
- Cannot be seduced or charmed by anything with nipples, even magically.
- Can calm down dinosaurs, reptiles, and birds (use druid rules).
- No "turn undead", but get "turn mammal". Mammals with Int 4+ are not
affected.
Changes to spell lists! Most of these are just reskins, but some are unique
enough that I've detailed them below.
Detect Blasphemy
Level 1 Dinosaur Cleric Spell
This works like the other detect spells, except it allows you to
sense things that are out of place in time, and whether they
are from the future or the past.
Find Volcano
Level 1 Dinosaur Cleric Spell
This tells the cleric the direction to the nearest volcano. All
volcanoes count as temples of their god.
Hatch Egg
Level 2 Dinosaur Cleric Spell
The cleric casts this spell while sitting on an egg. After a minute of sitting
and chanting, the egg hatches and grows to maturity in a minute. It serves
it's "mother" for 10 minutes per caster level, and then rapidly ages, dies, and
turns into a fossil.
Summon Illusory Dinosaur
Level 4 Dinosaur Cleric Spell
The cleric summons a pseudo-imaginary dinosaur (1d4+1 HD). It has all the
strengths and weaknesses detailed here, and a couple additional
weaknesses. Illusionists can dispel it with a touch, and the slow spell
destroys it instantly. Use your own random dinosaur table, because I don't
want to write one.
All clerics start with a mask that resembles a particular dinosaur. This is their
clan mask, and they strive to emulate that dinosaur's virtues
1 - Apatosaur
2 - Stegosaur
3 - Hadrosaur
4 - Velociraptor
5 - Spinosaurus
6 - Tyrannosaurus
7 - Ankylosaurus
8 - Archeopteryx
9 - Pterosaur
10 - Pachycephalosaurus
11 - Therizinosaurus
12 - Dunkleosteus