Identity

condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is; the qualities, beliefs, etc., that
distinguish or identify a person or thing.

All About Identity

The pioneering identity researcher Erik Erikson first proposed the term “ego identity,” which he
conceived as an enduring and continuous sense of who we are. The ego identity allows a person
to merge all the different versions of oneself (the parent self, the career self, the sexual self)
into one cohesive whole, so that when unexpected disaster strikes, there's a stable sense of
self.

Of course, major life upheavals cause many people to explore and redefine their identities. This
reappraisal can occur at any stage of life, though people think that adolescence is the primary
identity-forming period. Yet, today, many people in their late twenties and older are still trying
to figure it out. As a person grows older, the overall trend is toward identity achievement, but
divorce, the death of a loved one, retirement, and other shake-ups can make one question the
very concept of "Who am I?" and "Who do I want my future self to be."

Who Am I?
"We contain multitudes," wrote Walt Whitman, referring to the fact that we see ourselves
radically differently in different contexts. Everyone struggles with the existential question,
"Who am I?" For people who are overly concerned with the impression they make, or who feel
a core aspect of themselves, such as gender or sexuality, is not being expressed, this struggle is
acute.

Erikson believed that identities move along a continuum. His contemporary, James Marcia,
theorized that people traverse among four distinct stages: diffusion, foreclosure, moratorium,
and achievement. While cycling through these stages, the person continually attempts to
answer, “Who am I?” Upon reaching identity achievement, he can simply declare, “This is who I
am.
The Components of Self Identity

Self Identity
Refers to the global understanding a person has of themselves. Self Identity is composed of
relatively permanent self-assessments, such as personality attributes, knowledge of one’s skills
and abilities, one’s occupation and hobbies, and awareness of one’s physical attributes.

For example, the statement, “I am lazy” is a self-assessment that contributes to the self-
concept. In contrast, the statement “I am tired” would not normally be considered part of
someone’s self-concept, since being tired is a temporary state.

The Self Identity is not restricted to the present. It includes past selves and future selves. Future
selves or “possible selves” represent individuals’ ideas of what they might become, what they
would like to become, and what they are afraid of becoming. They correspond to hopes, fears,
standards, goals, and threats. Possible selves may function as incentives for future behavior and
they also provide an evaluative and interpretive context for the current view of self.

Boundary

Self Identity Boundary

Self Identity Boundary
Your boundary is a much the same as the boundary lines of a property. It is the clear and
defined border that surrounds the house with all its treasures (your Self Identity can be thought
of as your house or property) . The boundary lines let others know how far the ownership of
the property goes. In a personal development sense the boundaries are more difficult to see
and be aware of. But in a nutshell your boundary is your preferences or rules you have about
things like

1) What you will accept in behavior from and towards yourself

2) Your ability to say either YES and NO to events or statements.

For example..

You know someone who you enjoy being around socially but they occasionally do things that
are a matter of a small illegal crime – a result others are hurt in a small financial or emotional
way. While your together they want you to help them out with something that you know is
illegal. Do you help them because you like them even if you would not do this yourself? Are
you able to be comfortable saying No to the request

World View
Refers to the structure or framework that a person uses to organize and define what the world
is to them. The World View should allow us to understand how the world functions and how it
is structured. The totality, everything that exists around us, including the physical universe, the
Earth, life, mind, society and culture. We ourselves are an important part of that world.
Therefore, a world view should also answer the basic question: “Who are we?

The World View is our standard of how things are or should be in the world we live in. It is a
global concept that makes up our values and morals, our rules of how we and others should
act, relate and operate within the world. To most people the world view is largely a vague set
of rules and guidelines that we have unconsciously adopted from the life experiences and
influences we have. We adopted from our friends, family religious groups, and society, seldom
making an active process of creating our own. We can create aspects of our world view though
our intellect, using either rational and conscious decisions or emotional charged ideas and
concepts. The World View is a filter which we make judgments of others and ourselves.

Self Esteem

Refers to a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of her or his own worth at any one point in
time. Generally speaking it is an emotional measure of how well we are living up to our world
view. Self Esteem is perhaps the single most important emotional gauge of our ability to feel
almost all other positive emotions and beliefs about ourselves. For example it affects our
measure of happiness, success, well being, confidence, assurances etc, and is made up of all of
these feelings in a combined sensation called Self Esteem.

While Self Esteem is a general state of mind, it is affected by changes in any one of the various
feelings that make it up. For example a drop in confidence will lower Self Esteem in the short
term. Prolonged Negative experience will produce a longer term reduction of Self Esteem, yet
at the same time a positive emotional experience will increase the sensation. In simple terms,
when you experience an event or situation that supports your world view your Esteem
increases and vice versa.

How Self Identity fit’s into the Character Building Model

What is Self Esteem

What is Self Esteem
Now, that we have a basic definition of the various components of your Character (Self Identity,
Boundaries/World View & Self Esteem); lets see how our model fits together.

Your Self Identity, (the core of who you are) is surrounded by your Boundary which filters both
outward and inward experience you have to the world.
The resulting emotional experience you have from a situation, person or event is then
determined by how well you managed the experience in relation to your world view.

For Example. You have a firm rule in your world view that “If someone respects me they will
not yell at me”. In an event where someone starts to yell at you, if you have a boundary
present (a firm preference to what you say yes or no too) you will say “Please do not yell, it
shows me you have no respect for me” and the person will know what is acceptable to you, and
you will increase your self esteem because you had integrity.

If you do not have a boundary about yelling, the person will yell at you … and you will feel
according to your world view that they do not respect you and will lose Self Esteem. In addition
because you are not living up to your own standards, you feel bad and lose more self esteem.

You might like to think of the boundary as being a container that surrounds you, It not only
protects your Self Identity, but also acts much like a gas tank to hold your Self Esteem. Within
the boundary is your measure of Self Esteem. And as we know the sense of self esteem is a
measure of how well you measure up to your world view. It is determined by your actions and
reactions to the world around you as determined by the rules that you have, of how the world
should be.

Your Self Identity constructs and is made up from your experience through the boundaries of
how well you measure up to your world view. Self Identity becomes a long lasting definition of
your character.

Where problems arise in Self Identity

Each person view of the world is unique to them, and no one has a perfect world view. In fact
most people do not have a clear or conscious understanding of what their world view is, they
are vague on their rules to live a good and productive life. This vagueness about their rules of
how to live a good and productive life is reflected in broken boundaries or a lack of preference
for who they are, what they like and what is appropriate behavior. Sometimes there is no
preference at all which creates gaps in the boundary.

Explaining Self Identity

Explaining Self Identity
A gap can be defined as a hole in your boundary. It is a lack of a preference or rule you have
about yourself or your behavior or your place in the world. At a basic level, it is your inability to
say or hear the word ‘No’. For example, you might not be able to say no to a family members
request’s or allow them to get away with something unacceptable for you, if done by someone
outside of the family

A vague preference or rule is something that you are a little wishy-washy on. It is a concept or
situation where you have an idea of what is acceptable to you (in your world view). For
example, you may define yourself by a particular religious faith, but live in sin according to that
faith and be able to justify it to yourself

A well defined section of your boundary is a preference you have and stick with. It is a clear
statement of who you are that you can express to yourself and to those around you. Examples
might include a political view, your stance on abortion, or any strongly held belief about
something

When your Boundary (the container that holds your self esteem) has gaps or vague preferences
(rules) in it, you lack control in your decision making. You are in a position where people or
situations can reach in and press your buttons. This is a situation or event that will create
stress, where your lack of a clear preference can cause you to feel confused. Without a
boundary filter for your Identity you are in a position where you will drain your sense of Self
Esteem.

And when you do not have a clear sense of your preferences, or a lack of self esteem to act on
them, people are able to manipulate you, or they are able to annoy you, or your able to get
annoyed with yourself, but most importantly because you are unable to present a clear concept
of who you are to those around you, people will not be able understand where you stand on
something which makes it difficult for them to develop respect or trust for you.

For example…. Let’s assume someone you know asks you for a favor. They need to borrow
$300 until payday because there was something they absolutely needed and spent all their
money on. You already know this person lacks self discipline, they never have any money but
are always showing you their new shoes (if fact lets assume that this is what they ‘needed’ so
badly).

If you have Clear Boundaries

If you have a clear preference for yourself, a clear and well defined rule of your world view, that
you (and others) should live within their means and new shoes are a luxury not a necessity.
About this world view rule you have a define boundary preference, you are able to say “No” to
this request. The person may attempt to manipulate you or push your buttons by saying
something like “You know last weekend I brought you drinks, and you can’t do me this little
favor”, and you will not be effected.

You have a solid rule about this, when they push you, they feel the resistance, your firmness
and your resolve (your boundary) and while they may not like your decision, they will ‘respect’
you for it, and know they can not get this favor out of you. You will because you have
encountered a situation that you remained true to who you are, will feel good about yourself.
You will because you followed your world view rules, fill your tank of self esteem a little more
which strengthens your Self Identity.

If you have Vague Boundaries

If you only have a vague rule in your world view about this, you might need to think about it for
a moment. You may have the world view rule that it is OK to lend money to friends and family
to help them out because they are your friend or family and it is only right to help out people
you love. It might depend on the situation and the person asking, and perhaps if they just
promise to be more careful next time you will give them the money.

In this situation, you have doubts about yourself and who you are and what you believe, and
while you may make someone else happy by doing them a favor, you are unsure it was the right
decision to make. You may feel a little confused afterwards as to why you gave money away
you needed, or you may be happy to help a friend. Because your boundary here is vague you
have no measure to affect your self esteem and you are subject to seeking external
confirmation you did the right thing.

If you have gaps in your Boundaries

Now let’s assume you have a gap in boundary about your world view rule, a hole when it comes
to people asking for money. The person asking is telling you they are in need, they would not
ask otherwise, and you want them to like you so you give them the money they ask for. Come
payday, they are out with their friends having a great time and they don’t even offer to pay you
back. You ask them about it and they make an excuse and promise next week. This person
knows you are weak, there is no respect for you or your needs, they can get what they want
and you offer no level of value to them because you’re so easy to manipulate.

You on the other hand feel betrayed and left out, your control of your sense of who you are and
your place in the world is conditional on someone else and what they do. You begin to suffer
because you think they ‘should’ behave a certain way and they are not. You are in a situation
where according to your world view, according to your rules about life, people should not
spend money on things they don’t need and can’t afford, but because of the gap in your
boundary you did not live up to your expectations of how you should live your life. Your sense
of self esteem drains as you spend your time and energy worrying about something that is now
outside of your control.

Controlling the Controllable Situations and Events in your Life

Controlling your Self Identity

Controlling your Self Identity
When you have a clearly define world view, one where your rules are known to you (and
remember not very many people have any idea of what their world view is) you can create
preferences or boundaries around yourself. Then as life experiences come around you make
decisions based on your boundaries, it increases your sense of self esteem and makes a
stronger character of who you are in your self identity. You are able to clearly define the limits
of the extent of your control.
In the case of psychological feelings, you understand that you are the only one who can make
you feel a certain way. You understand that things outside of your Self Identity, can only affect
you with there is a gap in your boundary about a world view rule.

Others may attempt to control the outcome of a situation or your feelings, but your boundary
will bounce off and protect you from any attempts to manipulate or control you. You will know
how to act to have integrity with your self identity and character. You will know what requests,
events and situations you say No or Yes too. They are unable to push your buttons and make
you respond in a way that gets them a result.

You also understand that you are only able to control who you are, and that while you can
make a good judgment on how others might behave, you are unable to determine their world
view or what boundaries they might or might not have and how they may act. You do not make
the mistake of attempting to get results by controlling another person’s World View and Self
Identity.

Basics of Identity
What do we mean by identity and why the identity matters?
Posted Dec 08, 2014

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Identity is concerned largely with the question: “Who are you?” What does it mean to be who
you are? Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g.,
relationships, career). These choices reflect who we are and what we value. For example, we
can assume that investment banker values money, while the college professor values
education and helping students. However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they
simply internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., pursuit of
materialism, power, and appearance). Sadly, these values may not be aligned with one’s
authentic self and create unfulfilling life. In contrast, fulfilled people are able to live a life true
to their values and pursue meaningful goals. Lack of a coherent sense of identity will lead to
uncertainty about what one wants to do in life.

A person may hold multiple identities such as teacher, father, or friend. Each position has its
own meanings and expectations that are internalized as identity. A major task of self-
development during early adolescence is the differentiation of multiple selves as a function of
social context (e.g., self with father, mother, close friends) with awareness of the potential
contradictions. I noticed this with my own 16 year old daughter, while she was happy with her
friends she seemed to be depressed around me, or she would switch from being cheerful
around her friends to being nasty with her mother. I wondered, and I believe she did as well,
which one is the real her? However, as young people mature cognitively they achieve a sense of
coherence in their identity.

Identity may be acquired indirectly from parents, peers, and other role models. Children come
to define themselves in terms of how they think their parents see them. If their parents see
them as worthless, they will come to define themselves as worthless. People who perceive
themselves as likable may remember more positive than negative statements.

Psychologists assume that the identity formation is a matter of “finding oneself” by matching
one’s talents and potential with available social roles . Thus, defining oneself within a social
world is among one of difficult choice a person ever makes. Often, in the face of identity
struggle, many end up adopting darker identities, such as drug abuse, compulsive shopper, or
gamble, as a compensatory method of experiencing aliveness or staving off depression and
meaninglessness.

What constitute the true self? The ultimate goal for individuals is to develop and nurture those
choices that are consistent with their true self. To deny the true self is to deny the best within
us. To find more happiness in life means to live in harmony with one’s true self.

Three goals are required for the task of identity formation. The first task is discovering and
developing one’s personal potentials. These personal potentials refer to those things that the
person can do better than other things. How the person to discover what those best potentials
are? The answer is a process of trial-and-error. This requires exposure to a wide array of
activities, some of which we become able to do relatively well. This is recognized by the
feedback we receive from others and our own positive feelings about those activities. These
activities simply “feel right” to us, and these feeling are useful clues. We are intrinsically
motivated to do these activities. However, the development of skills and talent requires time,
effort, and willingness to tolerate frustration when obstacles to improvement encountered.

Second step is choosing one’s purposes in life. It is necessary to choose what we are seeking to
accomplish in our lives. To achieve substantial success in fulfilling our purpose, the objectives
must be compatible with our talent and skills (our authentic self). To choose a purpose not
compatible with our capabilities is a recipe for frustration and failure. Finally, one is required to
find opportunities for the implementation of those potentials and purpose. Open societies
allow for role mobility and flexibility to implement identity-related choices. However, this is not
the case in close and rigid societies. For some, this may lead to emigration.

Identity is never “final” and continues to develop through the lifespan. Knowing one’s identity
accurately increases self-esteem and reduces depression and anxiety. When people are doing
what they think they should be doing, they are happy.
When people misrepresent themselves or present themselves in out-of-character ways to
impress an audience, the behavior is unnatural and exhausting. The behavior requires greater
cognitive resources, because the mind is filled with self-doubt, self-conscious, and negative
thought. Moreover, when people look to immediate audiences to help them define who they
should be, how they should look, and what they should do, they are in danger of acting in ways
that endanger their health, such as eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse. For example,
eating disorders are due in part to concerns about body appearance. Alcohol and drug use are
related to peer pressure and acceptance.

The Importance of Identity:

Empowerment and
Development

T he father of modern western philosophy, the great French

mathematician, scientist and philosopher, René Descartes
famously said — cogito ergo sum, or “I think, therefore I am.” It
underlines the most basic of all aspects of human nature — self-
consciousness. “I” is, in all probability, the most important word a
human has ever spoken.

As we developed and became “civilised,” identity took on a greater

meaning. Apart from individual identity, we developed the concept
of a broader identity, something that binds us to our regional,
cultural and social roots. While identity is a natural gift, something
a human should never endeavour to gain, we are a peculiar breed
of animals. Global upheavals in times of colonisation, when
powerful nations sent explorers and armadas to claim foreign
lands led to many indigenous people lose their “identities.” These
people faced severe identity conflicts and rapid social changes due
to epidemics, forced relocation, colonisation and genocides.
Research has also shown that young indigenous people who
undergo such identity conflicts and acculturation (cultural
modification) stress are prone to significant health problems.
Studies also show that with a sense of positive affiliation to their
culture and identities, indigenous young people are more
confident, healthy and resilient [1].

The era of globalisation ushered a new kind of cultural conflict.

People started moving from less developed regions to
economically advanced countries in search of a better life and
newer opportunities, those that their ancestral regions did not
afford them. These “migrants” are always given “second class”
status and even if they are granted citizenship, it takes a painfully
long period of time to achieve that. However, even though the
government grants them all the rights of a citizen, their active
participation in the country’s political discourse and policy-
making remains limited.

The world is experiencing a new kind of exodus since the last few
decades — the movement of people from war-torn regions to
politically stable countries. Hegemonic regimes in Asia, Africa and
the Middle East have forced millions of people from their homes
to find safer places for themselves and for the better future of their
children. These “refugees” find themselves literally uprooted from
their cultures and suffer identity conflicts.

In all of these cases, the feeling of loss of identity is as real as the

actual loss of identity. Due to forced movement, people are often
left without proper identification documents that can attest to who
they really are. Such people have no physical evidence to prove
their identities and face seemingly insurmountable problems when
they arrive on the shores of foreign nations seeking asylum.
We, as a modern society, have given identity a whole new
meaning. We seek to limit an identity of a person with a driver’s
license or government-issued identity card. However, what
happens when these “physical evidences of identities” are revoked
by the granting authorities? Or the person leaves the country of his
or her origin and crosses geographical borders? For all accounts
and purposes, the person loses his or her identity.

Losing one’s physical identity is a very real threat in these

changing times. We have seen how people are displaced due to
economic and political upheavals around the world. These people
often come from impoverished regions of the world and seek to
start a new life in a developed or advanced country. However, our
definitions of identity make their integration into the new society
extremely difficult. Add to it the dash of mistrust refuge-giving
nations have for migrants and refugees and you’ll realise the
gravity of the situation.

As I said earlier, no human being should ever face the ignominy of

proving his or her identity. The very thought that “I” have to prove
who “I am” can wreak the individual’s feeling of self-worth.
Unfortunately, a physical, government-issued identity is of utmost
importance if the individual dreams of starting all over again. This
can be the most excruciatingly frustrating phase of his or her life —
 the time spent and wasted in getting a “new identity.”

Solving The Identity Conundrum

The solution to this “identity crisis” is the creation of a global,
permanent, incorruptible identity that requires no physical proof
and that can be presented on-demand. The revolutionary new
distributed ledger (or: “blockchain”) technology can serve as the
vehicle of such a digital identity. Because data on a blockchain is
inherently incorruptible, a digital identity on the blockchain can
assure safety and security.

While many roadblocks are present in the path to creating such a

digital identity that can be used across multiple platforms, efforts
are being put by organisations that believe that the future of
personal identity is “self-sovereign.” A self-sovereign identity is
essentially a user-centric identity that is completely in control of
the individual. It is autonomous and as real as the psychological
feeling of self-consciousness. Once achieved, it will be a true
amalgamation of the natural and artificial identities of a single
individual.

Anywhere in the world a person might go, either through consent

or through forced migration, a self-sovereign identity would be as
simple to use as just saying who I truly am. This is a dream and a
vision shared by many organisations that are trying to bring in a
new kind of reality. Tykn is one such organisation that shares a
passion to provide digital identities to displaced people around the
world.

Being a Founding Steward of the Sovrin Network, we are in a

unique situation to help such individuals through the efforts of the
Sovrin Foundation. With that in mind, we have kick-started
Project ZINC (Zero Invisible Children) that endeavours to provide
digital identities to children of refugees and displaced people.

Co-founded by Toufic (“Tey”) Al-Rjula, who himself has shared

and experienced the angst of losing his identity after his birth
certificate got destroyed during the Gulf War, Tykn is passionate
about solving this crisis by leveraging blockchain technology and
the philosophy of the Sovrin Foundation to create incorruptible,
permanent digital identities for people in dire need of them.
Tey’s driving licence still shows “Unknown” under place of birth.
As we have seen earlier, a positive affiliation of one’s true identity,
both self and cultural, is an important factor in a person’s well-
being. Only if the person feels worthy of him- or herself, can he or
she contribute positively to society. This is true empowerment and
only through such empowerment can we expect development to
occur. If individuals do not have to worry about proving who they
really are, they can contribute their skills for their own betterment
as well as for the betterment of their surroundings. This can be a
major factor in the growth of the economy of the nation providing
refuge and asylum to such a latent workforce.

Exciting times are nigh. No longer will identities be stolen and no

longer will identities be lost. We are on the verge of solving a long-
standing and vital problem of creating identities for people around
the world that will replace physical documents and proofs.

The Need for a Sense of Identity

Beyond the basic need for a sense of control, we are deeply driven by our sense of identity, of
who we are. We are in the middle of our individual world, where we place central importance
on our sense of individual self. As Descartes said, ‘I think, therefore I am.’ Many
social theories are to do with creating or preserving our sense of identity.

Identity and needs

Psychologist Abraham Maslow defined a hierarchy of needs, with the particular revelation that
when lower level needs are not met, then higher-level needs will be abandoned in favor of
shoring up the deeper needs.
Take a look at the needs:
What can be clearly seen here is that the upper three levels are about the person and their sense
of self. This is in contrast to the bottom two levels, which are about control.

Identity formation
The sense of identity appears early on in life as the infant begins to separate themselves from
an undifferentiated unity with their mother. A mirror image of themselves can provide the
sudden shock of realizing that they are separate beings.
Young children typically cling to a single teddy bear or doll, through which they know their
own identity (I am not my teddy). When this ‘transition object,’ as psychoanalyst Donald
Winnicott called it, is removed, a part of their identity is lost, causing distress and tears. This
pattern continues through our lives as we identify with our possessions and the things around
us and feel bad when they are changed or lost.

Individual identity
We may, to a lesser or greater degree, define our selves internally, with limited reference to
others. Those for who this is a major way of creating identity feel little in common with others.
When they are with other people it seems as if those others are somehow taking something of
their identity away from them.
Group identity
We often categorize ourselves in terms of other people and groups. Evolution has taught us
that it is beneficial to live in tribes, where we can share out the work of daily survival. When
asked about yourself, you may well describe yourself in terms of your work and family
relationships: ‘I work for AB Corporation.’ or ‘I am married to Steve and have three children.’
Some people put a greater emphasis on group identity. In effect, their sense of identity is
created through taking a part of everyone with who they bond and adding it to their own sense
of self. In this way, our self becomes a complex, multiple, social being.
If we lost our job, it would not just be the loss of money (affecting our sense of control) that
hurt us, but also the loss of relationships and feelings of being outside the company with which
we have identified ourselves for so long.
The fear of rejection from the groups with which we identify is a powerful force and just the
thought of this is enough to dissuade many people from ever taking their creative ability out of
the cupboard where they have locked it for fear of its potential social effects.

Social comparison
Although we define our selves by our membership of groups, we also define ourselves by
comparison and contrast with others. If we have more than others, we feel superior. If
everyone has the same as us, we feel equal.
The size of gaps also matters. If I have a lot more than others, then I probably feel a lot more
superior. I may also feel more isolated as I realize that they may feel envious of me.
This social comparison often appears in forms of status, which is one reason we are driven to
purchase status symbols that signals to others (and particularly to ourselves) that we are better
in some way - richer or more tasteful, for example.
Social comparison is often along some measure of success, which is itself a social
construction. Our sense of identity degrades when we fail - which we often do as we accept
constant social escalation of what 'success' means.

Identity paradoxes
There are several paradoxes we have to navigate in our search for our selves, including:
Me vs. Us
In order to be allowed to join a group (and hence satisfy belonging and esteem needs), we have
to give up prioritizing everything for ourselves and be ready to put the group ahead of our own
interests. In doing this, we have to change our sense of identify from always 'me' to thinking
about 'us'. This includes taking on group values and beliefs, even if we do not particularly
agree with them.
Perfect me vs. real me
We like to think we're perfect. In fact we're not that great, and regularly break our values (Are
you law-abiding? Yes? So when did you last exceed the speed limit? Are you thoughtful and
kind? So when did you last criticize a friend?). In practice, we manage to mentally separate
these two personas. When they are forced together, we instantly find justification and excuse
for our misdemeanors.

Identity statements
How can you understand how a person derives their sense of identity? A good way is to watch
for 'I' statements.
I can...
Statements of ability show how a person identifies themself in terms of what they can do. This
can be anything from assertion of rights to skills and career item.
I have...
Possessions say a lot about a person. Some possessions in particular are strongly related to
how people define themselves, such as cars, clothes and cameras. Another very strong 'have'
item is about family and people will talk in particular about their children.
I like...
We associate our identity with the things and people we like. This when a person says they
like flying or like a particular rock group, they are connecting their self with these and
including associated concepts into their identity.
I am...
The verb to be associates any concept very closely with identity and this can be used to
connect other types of identification item.
This can include emotions (I am happy), career (I am an accountant), religion (I am Buddhist),
social position (I am popular) and so on.
I remember....
We also identify ourselves through our memories and any form or recall, especially of
personal and emotionally significant events, younger days and other nostalgia offers further
clues to a person's sense of identity.
So what?
Act either to support or threaten their sense of identity.
Help them join groups. Tell them they are good and attractive. Thank them. Give them
recognition and reward for what they do.
Or hint that they are not that perfect. Whisper how others might not approve of what they are
doing. Criticize them. Ignore them.