Play #29

Jacob-Mania

__________________________

A short play written for

the 2018
31 Plays in 31 Days
Challenge

By Joseph Frost

Contact:
Joseph Frost
4550 Normandy Dr
Jackson, MS 39206
FrostJosephD@gmail.com
 A wrestling ring.

We see the action, but can hear the announcers,

Gibbon and The Mind.

GIBBON
Welcome everyone to tonight’s main event - this is.... JACOB-MANIA!!!!

THE MIND
That’s right, the challenge has been issued, Jacob, a man who has heard from the all
mighty, and believes he is owed an explanation, he’s here to hold that Angel down and
he’s not gonna let go until he gets that blessing.

GIBBON
But if he thinks he’s going to squeeze an answer our of Angel that is no easy feat.

THE MIND
Especially after Angel enforced that stipulation of this being... a Ladder Match!

GIBBON
High above the ring hangs that briefcase, and inside, well, we all want to know what the
Angel keeps in there.

THE MIND
I think it’s his dirty laundry...

GIBBON
Would you stop it?

THE MIND
I’m telling you, you can’t keep robes that clean unless you wash them every day.

GIBBON
No.

THE MIND
With bleach.

Music hits. It is upbeat and energetic.

GIBBON
And here he is right now, ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at 215 pounds, from the land
of Canaan.... JAYYYYY- cahhhhhhhhhhb....
 2.

Jacob comes out of the Gorilla position through

the curtain.

He is a bit of a heel. Crowd reaction is mixed at

best.

THE MIND
There he is. That perpetual underdog. Always coming up from behind and catching the
frontrunner. You can never count him out no matter what the odds.

GIBBON
I think the word you might be looking for is Dastardly, Mind. He’s been using tricks to
get ahead since the womb. And now he’s here doing whatever he can to take, take, take
from the Angel.

THE MIND
Gibbon, what are you talking about? This is what you do, this is the world we live in,
that he and you and I were born into. If you want something, go put someone in an ankle
lock until you get it.

Jacob gets in the ring, and climbs up onto the

ropes. Poses.

GIBBON
He turned on his own brother...

THE MIND
Look, Esau had it coming.

GIBBON
Jacob stole his birthright!

THE MIND
He got the blessing! What kind of man lets his birthright go like that? I’ve got no
sympathy for Esau. He’s gone now anyway, what do we care about Esau?!

GIBBON
Well, it sounds like this crowd still cares.

Jacob gets off of the ropes.

The lights drop.

 3.

THE MIND
Whoa!

GIBBON
You know what that means, Mind.

THE MIND
Gives me the creeps every time...

GIBBON
Straight from the Pearly Gates of Heaven... it is...

Powerful and glorious heavenly music plays -

LOUD!

Spotlights illuminate a figure in a white robe at

the entrance. He is extremely tall and appears to
glow.

Suddenly WINGS BURST FORTH FROM HIS

BACK!

GIBBON
The..... AAAAAAAAAN-JJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL!

Angel makes a slow entrance to the ring.

Imagine the Undertaker, but in light.

THE MIND
The Angel is just unsettling, Gibbon.

GIBBON
The Angel is undefeated, Mind. He is power and glory personified. He is the
SuperNatural one, the winged wonder....

THE MIND
The Holy Shi---

GIBBON
Stop it right now!

The crowd chants along to the music of The

Angel. It is possibly insulting and vulgar, but
chanted out of the deepest love and respect.
 4.

The Angel reaches the ring and steps OVER the

top rope.

Lights change to a normal look for a match.

Jacob and The Angel stare at each other.

GIBBON
I know we’ve been talking about the Angel retiring for what seems like eons, but I just
can’t imagine this place without him.

THE MIND
Sometimes I think that maybe this IS his retirement, you know?

GIBBON
What are you talking about?

THE MIND
You know. He used to be a delivery man, just telling people what the big man wanted
them to know, but now that he doesn’t really do that anymore, maybe he’s his own man.

The two competitors look up at the briefcase.

GIBBON
Well, he’s still got the Big Man’s briefcase, and you can see in Jacob’s eyes he wants it.

THE MIND
All he’s gotta do is go up there and get it.

GIBBON
Easier said than done, Mind.

THE MIND
Don’t I know it. With the winged freak looking at you like that...

GIBBON
The Winged Wonder. I can’t believe you sometimes.

THE MIND
Right. I forget how that name goes.

The bell rings.

GIBBON
There’s the bell and the match has begun. To win the match, one man must get a ladder,
set it up in the center of the ring and grab a hold of that briefcase.
 5.

THE MIND
All the Angel has to do is reach up there.

GIBBON
Not quite, but it’s certainly a challenge for the more small-statured Jacob.

THE MIND
He’s a shrimp is what he is...

The angel turns slightly.

Jacob jumps toward him and begins to throw

punches like crazy.

GIBBON
And here we go! Jacob with the fast start here against the Angel...

THE MIND
Jacob’s good at sneaking up on someone. The Angel, if he’d done his scouting should
have known that.

The Angel straightens up tall.

THE MIND
Uh oh.

GIBBON
I think the Angel’s had all he can take of that.

Angel choke slams Jacob.

GIBBON
Choke slaaaaaam!

THE MIND
I’m telling you, Jacob’s gonna be eating through a tube tomorrow!

Angel goes out of the ring.

THE MIND
Where’s he going>

GIBBON
I think he’s going for....

Angel looks under the ring.

 6.

THE MIND
Can he do that already? No...

Angel pulls out a ladder.

GIBBON
He’s got the ladder! He’s got the ladder! This could all be over just like that!

Angel puts the ladder in the ring, and sets it up

in the middle.

THE MIND
Come on, Jacob, you pee-wee! Went through all of this to get here and go out like a
weaseley little punk!

GIBBON
Angel’s got it set up in the center of the ring!

Angel climbs.

THE MIND
There he goes...

GIBBON
The Angel. Climbing up the ladder. All the way up to the top. He could do it, Mind, he
can reach that briefcase!

Angel looks down.

THE MIND
Uh-oh. I don’t like that look, Gibbon. He’s staring down at Jacob.

GIBBON
Jacob. Still almost lifeless there at the bottom of the ladder.

THE MIND
I don’t like the look in his eye...

GIBBON
From the top of the ladder...

Angel jumps, dropping the elbow on Jacob!

THE MIND
Jeh---HOVAHHHHHH!
 7.

GIBBON
He did it. The Elbow of Zion! From the top of the ladder!

THE MIND
He’s dead, Gibbon. There’s no getting up from that....

Angel gets up and climbs the ladder again.

GIBBON
Wait. Wait... no...

THE MIND
He can’t... not again....

GIBBON
Angel’s headed back up the ladder....

THE MIND
Up and down... up and down that ladder....

GIBBON
Have you ever seen a big man climb that ladder with such agility...

THE MIND
I’ve seen a lot of things, Gibbon, and this is one I don’t know if I want to witness....

GIBBON
There he goes......

Angel drops the elbow again

GIBBON
A SECOND Elbow of Zion!

THE MIND
Someone stop this! THAT MAN’S FAMILY IS THE CHOSEN PEOPLE!

Angel rises. He looks to the crowd.

GIBBON
Angel’s up again, Mind. What can he be thinking now?

THE MIND
He should just go get the briefcase and get it over with.

Angel climbs again.

 8.

GIBBON
Well, maybe he heard you, Mind. He’s climbing the ladder again.

THE MIND
Please, Angel. Have mercy on this poor stupid kid.

Angel is almost at the top.

GIBBON
I can’t watch, Mind.

THE MIND
This is just gruesome...

Jacob pops up.

GIBBON
Wait a minute...

THE MIND
It’s Jacob! He’s up! He’s up!

Jacob grabs the Angel’s leg.

GIBBON
He’s got the Angel by the ankle. He’s got his ankle!

Jacob pulls Angel off the ladder.

Angel lands on the mat.

Jacob has him in an ankle lock.

THE MIND
The ankle lock, Gibbon! Jacob’s locked it in!

GIBBON
Look at the Angel’s face, Mind! He’s in agony!

Angel reaches toward the ropes.

THE MIND
But he’s got those long arms, that wingspan. He’s gonna reach the ropes and Jacob will
have to break the ankle lock!
 9.

The Angel swings his arm back and palms

Jacobs hip.

Jacob screams and drops to the mat, but holds

the lock.

GIBBON
Will you look at that!

THE MIND
He’s crushing Jacob’s hip! He’s dislocated that hip!

GIBBON
Jacob’s writhing in pain, look at his face!

THE MIND
But he’s not braking the hold - he’s locked that ankle lock in, holding on with all his
might.

GIBBON
He’s not letting go!

Angel crawls tot he ladder.

THE MIND
The Angel - what’s he doing, Gibbon.

GIBBON
He’s pulled himself to the ladder, Mind. He’s... he’s climbing the ladder!

THE MIND
With Jacob holding tight on that ankle.

Quietly (not mic’ed like the announcers, we

hear Jacob)

JACOB
I WILL NOT LET YOU GO.... UNTIL YOU BLESS ME!

Angel pulls Jacob behind him as he climbs the

ladder.

THE MIND
What is he doing now?
 10.

GIBBON
He’s climbing the ladder - reaching up for that briefcase! He’s almost there, Mind!

THE MIND
He grabs that briefcase and gets it down, he’s the winner, no matter what hold Jacob’s got
on him!

GIBBON
He’s reaching!

Angel looks down at Jacob - who is basically

hanging upside down, holding on to Angel’s
ankle.

THE MIND
Look at him! He wants to tap, but it’ll do him no good!

GIBBON
This isn’t over until someone’s holding that briefcase!

Angel reaches up and unlatches the clip holding

the briefcase, but not touching the case.

THE MIND
He’s got it! He’s got it!

The case falls.

GIBBON
He’s dropped it! He didn’t have it!

Jacob lets go of the ankle lock and catches the

case.

THE MIND
He’s got the case! He’s got the case! Jacob’s got the case!

GIBBON
Can you believe that?

THE MIND
I can’t! I can’t believe it.

GIBBON
The Angel has given the blessing to Jacob to get him to let go of the ankle lock!
 11.

Jacob holds the case and celebrates.

Jacob’s music plays loudly.

Angel falls to the mat.

THE MIND
He’s done it, gibbon! I told you he would. This kid has got it! He knows what he wants
and he’ll do what he has to to get it. He’s holding that briefcase high!

Jacob looks at Angel.

GIBBON
What is this?

Jacob helps Angel stand.

Jacob raises Angel’s hand.

GIBBON
Now that’s a good competitor... raising his opponent’s hand.
(beat)
And that’s it ladies and gentlemen. For myself and The Mind, I’d like to thank you for
joining us for the Jacob-Mania Ladder Match!

Music continues to play loudly as the lights go

down.

The end.