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Was It Meant To Be?

There was a faint sound. It was a hum, so faint that it was almost unheard, but the sensation
was undeniable. The Rem recliner had just sent an electrical sensation throughout the
sleeping body. It was a very efficient alarm system although most people thought that it was
somewhat annoying.
I opened my eyes to the artificial sunlight streaming through the virtual window. This gave the
room the look and feel of a bright beautiful day. Rolling over, I sat on the edge of the bed,
hoping to avoid the second wake alarm sensation, which would be twice as shocking as the
first.
Another uneventful thirteen hour work day awaited me. I briefly allowed myself an unguarded
forbidden thought; my beautiful coworker. When I can, stealing glimpses of her along with
thoughts of us together gave me my only escape from the mind numbing monotony of the day.
Apparently keeping a person occupied for the majority of their waking time didn’t always have
the effect that the societal leaders thought.
Yes, our wise and beneficent leaders believed that idleness was a breeding ground for
malicious thoughts and emotions. Yes, they thought that if you can occupy a person
throughout their life, giving them periods of time when they can have directed freedom to
express their energies and desires, society can move along smoothly and less maliciously
aggressive. Keeping the mind and emotions in control is the chief pursuit of a civilized person.
Expressions of bodily desires are simply an anatomical function similar to breathing or eating.
Well, apparently, their understanding of a complete and fully human person had been sucked
into the vacuum of a black hole.
I finally rose off the bed and tiredly staggered to the sanitation chamber. I reasoned that either
I was simply a man out of time or that boredom can just take a lot out of a person. Punching in
the sanitation setting that included an exhilarating massage, I heard the slight hum, which was
similar to the one that announced my wake up call and before I could finish a yawn, it was
over.
Stepping out of the chamber, a soothing mechanical voice announced that I had seven
second to get to work. “Oh frazzle, I'm late again...” I jumped onto the molecular transport,
hoping that there wasn't another transportation jam this morning. I closed my eyes and said ,
“Work”, I felt a vibration which told me that I could open my eyes. I really hated molecular
transportation, but it got me where I needed to be and dressed me with the right clothes for
the occasion. Here I am, at my job fully dressed and with 1.5 seconds to spare.
Settling into my work pod, I inserted my hands into the interface grid and sighed. “Here we go
again.” The monitor lit up and the words, “Welcome Superintendent Kylor: Assistant Director
of Molecular Trans.” At that very moment a group of new pod recruits were being escorted
through the area. “Please don't stop here. I don't want to train; not today...” It just so happened
that I was one of the most knowledgeable pod workers in this area and so, I ended up doing a
lot of new recruit training.
And what happened, they stopped at my pod. And as etiquette required a greeting, I turned
and greeted the new recruits in the usual manner, “Greetings new recruits, welcome to your
pod stations.” I glanced around and saw Miah looking a me with a mischievous smile.
It took everything in me to contain my thoughts and control my bodily responses. Any overly
abnormal spike would set off the physical containment alarms, not to mention the mind
sweeps. I knew that I had to do something. I seem to be losing more control of myself the
longer that I'm around her.
In a society that prides itself on freedom and individuality, some things are not allowed and
will not be tolerated. And it just so happens that having thoughts and feelings for someone
who is already mutually bonded is one of them. It seems that the leaders in this society found
a way to bring to light the old passage that was read to me years ago, “... if you look upon a
woman with lust, you've committed adultery with her in your heart...”
Bonded, now that is a contradiction; to be with a person but not with the person. A person
can be bonded, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be exclusive. The thought of the word
brings a disparity between my society and the society of my beloved ancient readings. Yes,
stories of a time when, the all encompassing passion of love that commits one person to
another in a joyful expression of sharing oneself is bonding. This seems to be a concept lost
on this society. What type of off-worldliness is it that says that I can join myself with another
as long as I keep my mental and emotional distance? Mental and emotional closeness is
taboo. What is a body, devoid of the soul?
Miah would be happy to come together. We’ve even talked about it, but I can’t. For me, being
involved with her as society would allow would be the death of my integrity, the dishonoring of
her inner and outer beauty and an irreverence of the purity of true love. With that thought I
hurriedly check my time piece.
My time piece, ancient and archaic as it is, has been handed down throughout my family, a
slight modification. I check the second hand to make sure that it is not going backwards and
showing a faint glow. Knowing my emotional and mental weakness for concepts, thoughts
and ideals from a different time, I needed a way to alert me to the operation of the mind
sweepers.
And, this was one of the perks of being assistant director for an internal division; I
get to examine and evaluate all of the new changes and upgrades to our
technology. So, I had the opportunity to go and find out an unknown or little
known glitch in the system.

Each operation that occurs within the technology of our society is calibrated at a
certain frequency and that frequency produces certain hums. That is why my
wake up call and the sanitizer and the transport and everything else produces a
hum. There are private hums, public hums, and governmental hums and of course
security hums. The mind sweeper naturally has one of the techno-security hums.

Smiling to myself I thought that it was ingenious to device a sensor to pick up the
hum of the mind sweeper and put it into my time piece, which no one paid
attention to since most people understood my predilection to the past. And those
that didn’t either ignored it or quietly asked someone about it.

I loved the past; the literature, the art, the music – the life. I found that some of
my favorite authors were Dumas, Shakespeare and Dickens and because of that I
longed for the love that was expressed in the words that flowed off of the pages.
Being able to express and share a love so deep and completely encompassing
with another person who shared that same love was now deeply woven within my
being. And there was only one person that I wanted to share that love with; Miah.

Coming out of my revelry, I noticed that my personal mind sweeper alert didn’t go
off. I sighed with a since of relief and realized that I’ve been getting sloppy. Just
then I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. A tingle went through me and I
instinctively knew who it was.

I turned and was enveloped with a pair of the most sincere and inviting eyes that I
have ever seen. “Miah; greetings”. Saying the name gives me a feeling of
comforting nostalgia – that of a love that I’ve only witnessed in the books and
stories that I’ve read. She smiled, with such a smile that could only make me wish
that it wouldn’t fade into a memory.

“Greetings, I see that you were stuck with the new recruits this morning. The look
on your face told me that you would rather have had an emotion crush.”

“Well, as bad as it was, I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I’ve had a disciplinary
emotion crush and I would not want to have a full EC. “

I briefly thought back on my disciplinary EC with a slight shutter that came more
out of anger and frustration rather than fear. Undergoing an EC consisted of being
subjected to a mind sweep that not only sought to purge the mental emanations,
but also sought to inflict pain with the accompanying emotions such emanations
elicited.

The mind sweeper would project the thought patterns onto a screen, thereby
showing to the world what you were thinking. And once the thought video was on
the screen, the initial emotional sensations that were still stored in body’s
sensoratory memory were amplified to the point of pain. This generally had the
effect of crushing the emotional sensation that was brought on by erroneous
thoughts. And after awhile, the thoughts died along with the emotions.

“Let me guess, your ancient books got the best of you and an erroneous emotion
was detected, correct?”

“As always, you are correct again.” Miah’s question snapped me back into the
present.

“Those books are going to get you in real trouble one day. You were lucky that you
were an assistant director. You might not be so lucky next time. Which book was
it?”

“It was the Cyrano De Bursurac. The main character, Cyrano, really knew what
true love was. Unfortunately, that seems to be something missing in our world
today.”

“You must stop talking like that before you get us both in trouble. This love that
you keep talking about in your ancient books seemed to be the cause of a lot of
problems during that time in man’s history. We are to keep ourselves clean and
our bodies free.”

“I’ve seen you. I’ve looked into those fathomless eyes. I know your playful
adventurous spirit. And I know that you don’t truly believe that. Deep down, I
know that you really know that there is more and you would like to experience it.”

Miah gazed at me, visibly shaken. “You must stop talking like that. Are you
seeking to break my bonding?”

“No. I’m just trying to show you that there is more than the existence that we’re
forced to live. “To be fully human a person must be fully whole; mind, emotions
and the body. In time you may come to see the truth of what I say.”

“You must cease with your obsession with the ancient ways. This love and
wholeness that you always speak of was for a time past. It was a less civilized
time. We have progressed and you are the one who must come to embrace the
truth of our leaders.”

“I took her hand and kissed it gently. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I
realize that you don’t understand. I only want the best for you and I’ll do whatever
it takes to make sure that you’re happy and safe.”

Her lips quivered and I stepped close to her. I hugged her tightly for what seemed
like an eternity. I slowly pushed her away and told her to have a pleasant night.
Her eyes were calling to me, imploring me to stay with her; if just for one night.
She started to speak but I put a finger to her lips and whispered to her to live a
full, free, self-conscious life.

Walking away, I thought to myself, “Parting truly is a sweet sorrow.” Entering the
molecular transport pad, I knew that it was going to be another long night.

I entered a meal sequence and sat down at the table. Tonight the pain that I felt,
knowing that she was with someone else was more than any Emotion Crush could
do. I left the food in the processor and went to my bookshelves. Skimming the
shelves, I found the book that I was looking for.

Going back to the table, I placed the book on the table and took the food out of
the processor. I didn’t taste the food as I opened the book to the section called
“The Song of Solomon.” Here was a love story of epic proportions. I took a look at
my time piece for any sweeper activity. There was none. I keyed in a sequence on
my music player. In my studies I found some beautiful music that resonated at a
frequency which essentially nullified the mind sweepers.
And so I moved back from the table, reclined and immersed myself into “The Song
of Solomon.” As I read, I found myself returning to the section that stated,
“Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou has ravished my heart with one
of thine eyes, with one chin of thy neck. How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how
much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! Thy
lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the
smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon...” (Song 4:9-11)

In a world devoid of true passion, I've allowed my heart to be ravished. I knew


that if anyone found out the true desire and focus of my heart, I would probably
be locked up and subjected to reconditioning.
But I couldn't help how I felt and if I was being honest with myself, I didn't want to
help it.

My thought drifted back to Miah; my sister, my spouse. Brought up in a traditional


society sanctioned completion group or what in ancient days was called a family;
completely and utterly dysfunctional in that other world, but normal and
acceptable in this time and place. Yes, Miah was taught the rightness of societal
group think, the dichotomy of the soul and body and moral behaviors of an
immoral society.

Yes, my Miah who took a chance to read one of my ancient books. A seed of doubt
and questioning was planted then, but the pressures of this civilized world sought
to keep it buried; to receive no nurturing until that flicker of true humanity died.

But, I will not let it die. I will not let her die.

And with that declaration, I drifted off to an unfitful sleep.

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