Play #10

Edna the Witch

__________________________

A short play written for

the 2018
31 Plays in 31 Days
Challenge

By Joseph Frost

Contact:
Joseph Frost
4550 Normandy Dr
Jackson, MS 39206
FrostJosephD@gmail.com
 A small tent decorated like a witches’ hut.

Edna, an older woman, comes in, quickly

tidying up. She yells out the door.

EDNA
Get in here!

Kelvin, a young man, comes in.

KELVIN
What do you need, Edna?

EDNA
Kelvin. I need your help.

KELVIN
That’s not what you told me yesterday. You said I should never come in here again.

EDNA
You ruined that reading for the lady from Ush.

KELVIN
I did no such thing.

EDNA
All you had to do for me was to make the sound of wind.

KELVIN
And that’s what I did!
(makes really terrible wind sound)
I’m the best helper you ever had.

EDNA
I can’t believe I’m saying this... I need your help again.

KELVIN
Obviously you do. Who’s coming?

EDNA
Saul.

KELVIN
Saul? That’s funny. That’s the name of the king.
 2.

EDNA
Yes it is.

KELVIN
This guy has the same name as the king.

EDNA
Sort of. It is the king.

KELVIN
King Saul? Isn’t he going into battle tomorrow?

EDNA
Yes. And he’s freaking out because he doesn’t have Samuel to advise him.

KELVIN
Why not?

EDNA
Samuel is dead.

KELVIN
That would make it difficult to advise someone.

EDNA
So he’s coming this way.

KELVIN
Samuel? He’s dead.

EDNA
No. Saul.

KELVIN
Here? For what?

EDNA
Advice.

KELVIN
We don’t know anything about advising people for war. yuck.

EDNA
What’s yuck?
 3.

KELVIN
War. It’s gross.

EDNA
What’s gross is what I’ll do to you if you don’t help me out.

KELVIN
Fine.

EDNA
I need you to pretend to be Samuel.

Kelvin lies on the floor and pretends to be dead.

EDNA
What are you doing?

KELVIN
I’m Samuel.

EDNA
You’re on the floor.

KELVIN
I’m dead, where else would I be.

EDNA
When Saul gets here!

KELVIN
I’m practicing.

EDNA
(sees out the door)
Ah! Here he comes. Go get into costume.

KELVIN
Costume?

EDNA
You don’t look anything like Samuel.

KELVIN
You’re the one who gave me the part.
 4.

EDNA
You have to go get your fake beard.

KELVIN
It’s all the way back at my tent.

EDNA
Hurry.

Edna pushes Kelvin out, under the tent.

Saul comes in the other door.

SAUL
Greetings, witch.

EDNA
Hey, take it easy.

SAUL
I am here seeking--

EDNA
Advice.

SAUL
Yes. Tomorrow, there is to be a--

EDNA
Battle in the fields below this town.

SAUL
Yes. I need to speak--

EDNA
You’ve come to speak to Samuel.

SAUL
Samuel. Yes. He’s--

EDNA
Dead. I know. I can help you.
 5.

SAUL
You can.

EDNA
Sit.

Edna seats Saul on a cushion.

Edna pulls out a crystal ball. She sets it on the

floor in front of Saul.

EDNA
I will use this crystal ball to look into the spirit world.

Edna looks around, trying to see if Kelvin is

back.

EDNA
(under her breath)
He’d better be back...

She tosses some poppers or other small firework

or smoke. It is cheesy.

EDNA
By the power of witchcraft.
(waves a wand)
I summon Samuel.

Lights shift. Wind sounds (good ones).

An ominous figure emerges mysteriously.

SAUL
Samuel? Is that you?

SAMUEL
Saul? What am I doing here? What is this?

SAUL
I have called you forth by the power of this witch...

EDNA
Edna.
 6.

SAUL
To advise me for the coming battle.

EDNA
(aside to Samuel)
Kelvin stay calm. Keep it simple.

SAMUEL
You fool.

EDNA
(aside)
Take it easy...

SAUL
Samuel, do not be angry.

EDNA
Yeah, Samuel...

SAMUEL
You know you shouldn’t have brought me here. Witchcraft?

EDNA
Whoa, whoa.

SAUL
Samuel, bless me in the battle tomorrow.
(beat)
The Lord has departed from you and is become your enemy.

SAUL
No.

SAMUEL
Tomorrow, you and your sons will all join me in death.

SAUL
Death?

EDNA
No. No. Not death. He didn’t mean that. He’s just...

SAMUEL
Death!
 7.

Samuel leaves, lights change back.

EDNA
I don’t know where he’s going, but he really... he really didn’t mean that.

SAUL
I’ve made such a mistake...

Saul exits.

EDNA
Come back! You forgot to pay me... Hey!

Kelvin sneaks in behind Edna, wearing a terrible

fake beard.

KELVIN
I’m here!

Edna jumps!

EDNA
Aaaaahhhh!

KELVIN
When’s the King gonna get here?

Edna looks off after Saul, then back at Kelvin.

End.