The World News is Garbage

Any time one Israeli guy has one argument with one Palestinian guy, the world news tells you
something like, “Alright. We’re in the Middle East, and it’s pandemonium out here, as usual.
World War III is about to break out! We’re the news! We call ’em like we seem ’em.”

Meanwhile, what happens whenever Japan and Uruguay are not at war? The news says nothing
about that. The The Philippines and Iceland are not at war. Does the news ever mention that?
No. Niger and Nigeria are not at war. And the news doesn’t talk about it.

I think you really gotta give Niger and Nigeria a lot of credit for not being at war. That’s very
impressive. I mean, if some other country copies your name and adds -ia to the end, it seems
like that would lead to some sort of fight. If some other country were to open for business and
call itself “United Statesia,” I’m pretty sure President Trump wouldn’t take too kindly to that.
He’d be tweeting about them nonstop. He’d say, “These sons of bitches over at the United
Statesia--we need to let them know that we’re gonna put our foot up their assia!”