Universitatea din București

Facultatea de Limbi și Literaturi Străine

Specializarea: Filologie (Engleză - Franceză)

Oscar Wilde
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Confruntare de traducere

Profesor coordonator:
Prof. Dr. Ioana Zirra

Absolvent:
Ioana-Delia Rădoiaș

Bucureşti
(2017)

Table of Contents
 Introduction

 A Guide for Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray

 Translational Guidelies
  Text Confrontation

 Conclusions

 Bilingual Text

 Bio-Bibliographical Note

 Bibliography

Introduction

"[...] Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely
the accident, the occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured
canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of
my own soul." (Oscar Wilde, 'The Picture of Dorian Gray', chapter 1)
I chose to quote Oscar Wilde from the beginning of my thesis because he compressed, in a few
words, the precise idea that determined me to choose this particular novel. It is the soul of the artist,
and, in this case, the writer, who is “painted” on the canvas, or on paper, and therefore, it should remain
intact when translated.
The purpose of my thesis is to analyse Chapter II of the Romanian published version of 'The
Picture of Dorian Gray' written by Oscar Wilde and translated by D. Mazilu, in order to see if the
“picture” of the writer has been kept intact in the translation, and if his message has been kept in the
same tone.
Translation is not a mechanical process. And as Susan Bassnett and André Lefevere said in the
General Editors’ Preface of Lawrence Venuti’s “The Translator’s Invisibility”:
 'Translation is, of course, a rewriting of an original text. All rewritings, whatever their intention, reflect a
certain ideology and a poetics and as such manipulate literature to function in a given society in a given way. Rewriting
is manipulation, undertaken in the service of power, and in its positive aspect can help in the evolution of a literature
and a society. Rewritings can introduce new concepts, new genres, new devices, and the history of translation is the
history also of literary innovation, of the shaping power of one culture upon another. But rewriting can also repress
innovation, distort and contain […].' (Venuti 8)

A translator, in order to keep the essence and the meaning of the text that he translates, has to
establish a certain kind of connection with it, understand it in its depth and recode it in an impartial
manner, in order to avoid any kind of alteration. This is why translation is so much more than a simple
mechanical process and should concern itself with keeping the manner of writting, the syle of the novel
and the personality of the characters intact.
Norman Shapiro, a Romance language and literature professor, points out the idea that the
translator should be 'invisible' when manipulating a text, saying:
“I see translation as the attempt to produce a text so transparent that it does not seem to be translated. A good
translation is like a pane of glass. You only notice that it’s there when there are little imperfections-scratches, bubbles.
Ideally, there shouldn’t be any. It should never call attention to itself.” (Shapiro, Norman, Venuti, Lawrence,
International Conference Translating Power, Empowering Translation: Itineraries in Translation History., 24-26 May
2012, University of Tallinn, Estonia)
The following step of this paper is to observe and compare the three texts: the original text, the
published version translated by D. Mazilu and my personal translation of the original text. The purpose
of this stage is to point what the Romanian version of the book loses if it is partially translated, and
how the text is altered if quality and quantity are not kept.
In conclusion, the present thesis will analyse Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray from a
literary point of view, but will concentrate on the translation and misinterpretations found in the
Romanian version of the novel. After working out Wilde’s literary style and choice of words, the focus
of this study will be to compare the three translation and, ultimately, point out where a transparent
translation was not achieved.
 A Guide for Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray

Oscar Wilde is one of the most important literary figures of the late 19th century Aestheticism
movement that stood against the artistic, moral, social and political conventions that tried to dominate
the will and imagination of the individual in the Victorian period. He is best known for his critical
essays and plays that focused on the upper-class English society. Given such a complex author, can his
style and choice of words be translated into the target language, Romanian, without them losing their
essence and message? It surely takes a skilled translator. This is the focus of my thesis, and I will try to
give a satisfactory conclusion.
To point out the need of an accurate translation, we first have to discuss about Wilde’s message,
manner and style.
Oscar Wilde strongly believed that substance and sincerity in writing were as important as style,
and thus, throughout his novels, wording and nuances prevailed. He was so avid of literary perfection,
that when he was asked to write a story of a hundred thousand beautiful words, he complained that
“there are not one hundred thousand beautiful words in the English language”.
He had a skilful manner of putting together fantasy and realism, merging them into a perfect
morbid tale. His unique ability of description and imagery served as a device to offer the reader unusual
details that would rival the modern film:
'Dorian Gray glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward came over
him, as though it had been suggested to him by the image on the canvas, whispered into his ear by those grinning lips.
The mad passions of a hunted animal stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table, more than
in his whole life he had ever loathed anything. He glanced wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the
painted chest that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a knife that he had brought up, some days
before, to cut a piece of cord, and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved slowly towards it, passing Hallward
as he did so. As soon as he got behind him, he seized it and turned around. Hallward stirred in his chair as if he was
going to rise. He rushed at him and dug the knife into the great vein that is behind the ear, crushing the man's head
down on the table and stabbing again and again. There was a stifled groan and the horrible sound of someone choking
with blood. Three times the outstretched arms shot up convulsively, waving grotesque, stiff-fingered hands in the air.
He stabbed him twice more, but the man did not move. Something began to trickle on the floor. He waited for a
moment, still pressing the head down. Then he threw the knife on the table, and listened. He could hear nothing, but the
drip, drip on the threadbare carpet.' (Wilde, 126)

Here, the author describes with eerie details Dorian’s murder, giving a gruesome image even to
the most unimaginative reader.
 Another characteristic of Wilde’s style is the preference for dialogue instead of action. His
characters are often seen having casual conversations instead of performing certain actions. Throughout
his literary work, the author seems to use language as a means to stimulate visual and musical arts.
Paradox represents another major characteristic in Wilde’s novel, often depicting Basil, Dorian
and Lord Henry trading self-contradictory ideas that in reality might turn out to be true.
The use of paradoxes wasn’t a feature that the British reviewers of the time enjoyed, often belittling
Wilde’s style. However, a vast majority of reviewers accepted it. The lLiterary critic Ernest Newman
applauded Wilde’s style in the “Free Review” (June 1, 1895), saying:
“To hear one of Mr. Wilde’s paradoxes by itself is to be startled; to read them in their proper context is to recognize the
great fact on which I have already insisted, that a paradox is a truth seen round a corner. There is not one of his
paradoxes that does not argue our straightly and squarely, and we rise from the perusal of them with a self-conscious
wisdom that we had not before.”

Wilde’s endowment for morbidity and evil helped him create an accurate image of the darkness
of the human nature. Unlike other authors of the time, hHe managed to see the lust for immortality to
be found in the soul of the human being, skilfully braiding it into the portrait of his main character.
Throughout the novel, Wilde gives eloquent examples of how greed for immortality and diversion from
good deteriorates one’s soul.
Throughout his life, Oscar Wilde had many people by whom he was influenced. Later on, these
influences developed into his literary style, giving him ample ideas for writing The Picture of Dorian
Gray. In the background of his work are Wilde’s study of the Hellenistic ideals of Epicurus, his spoilt
childhood and his devotion for Aestheticism and moral ambiguity have produced one of the most
memorable works of fictional text of the 19th century.
The most prominent influence in Wilde’s life was his mother, whose literary nickname was
Speranzae. In his education, she taught him grace and love of beauty that most men never seem to
appreciate. Encouraging his philosophical and analytical way of thinking, she determined him to value
the highly artificial novels of Edward Bulwer-Lytton and Benjamin Disraeli in the Victorian age, above
greater works of fiction of the Victorian Era.
His mother’s teachings later developed into his devotion for hedonism, a movement that claims
pleasure to be the most important purpose in one’s life.
The Picture of Dorian Gray vividly portrays hedonistic ideals and the main character’s search
for pleasure, which lead to the self-destruction and corruption of his soul.
After getting acquainted with the novel itself and the author’s style and literary influences,
Taking into account all this, the ground is prepared for I would like to makinge a step forward toand
discuss about the importance of an accurate translation of the original work, in keeping with the
principles of discourse analysis and translation. As seen in the previous discussion, Wilde’s style is a
complex one and functions as a mask for deeper meanings. Translating the novel should not be a
mechanical process in a 'mot-a-mot' manner. The target language has to adapt to the 'bumps' of the
original text, so as to keep its message.

Translational Guidelines
When translating and approaching an already published translation and translating several
questions come to mind: How does one preserve the meaning of the source language? How does one
deal with the elusive meanings and gaps between the source language and the target language; and,
most of all, what gives fluency and authenticity to a translation without it losing the meaning conveyed
in the tone of the source language?
The thing that, for me, was most important to understand is what keeps the target reader
interested in a certain text and what makes him perceive the text as 'good', 'interesting' and relevant for
his the time period. While reading The Picture of Dorian Gray in D. Mazilu's translation, I realized
that, being a relatively old translation, it uses words and grammatical structures that now seem
outdated, making the discourse, style and register of the whole novel seem misplaced in time. My
opinion is that the fault of this translation does not stand in its improper use of grammar or choice of
words, but in the fact that this manner of translation makes the source text seem uninteresting to the
target reader, maybe fooling him into believing that text in itself is somewhat dusty.
While D. Mazilu's translation has some very strong points and qualities that will be discussed in
the conclusions section of this thesis, I found that, at times, the dialogue of the characters was either
overtranslated or undertranslated,
In her book 'Translation Theory and Practice', Daniela-Corina Ionescu notes that there are five
'constitutive principles of translation' (Ionescu 42), principles that should be used as a guideline when
approaching any source text with the intention of translating it:
1. The principle of EQUIVALENCE:

'To comply with this principle, the translator needs to find some expression, sentence and\or textual form in the
target language able to be - if not identical- at least as similar as possible to the lexical-semantic and syntactic format of
the source language in the source text to be translated.' (Ionescu 44)
But, more often than not, a translator is faced with the lack of equivalent terms when the source
language may not express the same degree of meaning as the target language. Other instances of non-
equivalence can be found when a specific term found in the source language does not convey the same
meaning as the term found in the target language or vice versa, at the word level when the source and
target languages make different distinctions in meaning or in the lack of a certain hyponymic term in
the target language.

2. The principle of FIDELITY\ADEQUACY:

This principle deals with the problem of whether a text can retain the meaning it should convey
while also being fully faithful to the source text.
'The most obvious problem with fidelity stems from the well-known fact that languages are not isomorphic, that is,
there is no one-to-one correspondence between them as regards lexical elements (words, idioms) or linguistic
structures associated with rules of grammar, stylistic rules, etc. and that, apparently, there may be similar structures
with different uses and different connotations.' (Ionescu 47)

3. The principle of ECONOMY:

This principle states that the target text should not exceed the length of the source text. Of
course, one cannot be too strict when it comes to this principle because languages differ in "length" of
constraints and other parametric features.
4. The principle of FLUENCY\ACCURACY:
 Fluency is linked to 'the coherence standard of the target text and to its formal (prosodic)
production.' (Ionescu 50). It is the principle according to which the text should "flow" - meaning it
should have accuracy, fluency and coherence, both logically and stylistically.
5. The principle of RELEVANCE:

'No translation would be encouraged or - to be more realistic - spreadproliferated - nowadays

unless it were expected to have an impact on the intended target readership' (Ionescu 52)
Another very important set of rules when dealing with translation criticism is given to us by the
'Regulative norms of translability', derived from Searle's Speech Act Theory. These seven norms are the
metalinguistic core of analysis in translation criticism and they are the following:
 Cohesiveness (Cohesion): accounts for the texture quality of any text. It is marked with
connectives at the lexical level, through the logical sequencing of ideas and through referential
use of deixis.

 Coherence: it is applied on the whole text or the world text. The reader must perceive the
underlying concepts and relations between sentences and paragraphs as relevant, accessible and
transparent in order to establish and maintain a constant sense. It is also crucial in complying
with the principle of equivalence.

 Informativity: concerns the extent to which the occurrences of the presented text are expected
vs. unexpected or known vs. unknown.

'Taking into account that not the same kind of information may be of relevance for source and target readership alike,
we can assume that the order of informativity is a measure of the significance of the information units of the text.'
(Ionescu 60)
 Acceptability: concerns the receiver's attitude about the cohesive and coherent text. It requires
that the target reader be able to identify and extract the specific content of the text, but it does
not necessarily imply that he believe the content of the text.

 Situationality: deals with the factors that make a text relevant to a situation of occurrence. It
refers to the need for some translation to be done.

 Intertextuality: the interaction between text and context; it goes beyond text structure, thus
contributing to a larger concept of coherence.

'Intertextuality has to do with the socio-cultural objects that are expressed or alluded in a text. These must be identified,
recognized and correspondingly rendered - through equivalence, or, as the case may be, through direct translation from
the source language into the target language.' (Ionescu 63)
  Intentionality: involves the way in which the translator arranges words, sounds and sentences
so as to serve his intended meaning. This arrangement may be neutral unless it is attached to
some direction, that is regularly conceived of by the producer of the respective arrangement.

The textual superordinate standards of translation:

 Style: involves the use of a certain register in a constant and consistent way. From this point of
view, translation can prove to be very tricky because style is unpredictable and elusive,
sometimes the translator finding it difficult to find an adequate equivalent for a certain stylistic
feature when translating from the source language to the target language.

 Genres: are conventionalised forms of texts which reflect the functions and goals involved in
particular social occasions as well as the purposes of the text producer or producers. A
distinction can be made between oral and written texts. In setting the typological criterion for a
text and genre classification, the author's attitude towards the respective subject matter as well
as his communicative intention are also important.

 Discourses: embody attitudinal expressions, bearing a strong social imprint.

 Registers: reflect several aspects: set of ideas and meanings, intentionality and socio-cultural
beliefs. They reflect the text producer's intentionality, his sense of belonging to a certain social
group - the way he\she views reality and the way the producer relates to this reality.

Chapter III of 'Translation Theory and Practice' reveals the eight Translation Strategies:
methods and techniques:
1. Paraphrasing and Rephrasing: to put the same meaning into other words (paraphrase) and to
reformulate the same idea by means of a restructuring process (rephrase)

2. Restructuring: in order to avoid repetition or to reproduce a stylistic effect, or else, to

compensate for a loss, the translator has the possibility to reformulate or restructure the basic
information and thus re-express the message in a different linguistic form.

3. Compensation: recovery of lost information somewhere, during the process of rephrasing and
reformulation of the meaning in the target text.

4. Mismatching effects - Interference and Translationese: Interference includes cases when

sentence length, punctuation, proper names, neologisms, or cultural words are evidently
transferred into the translation. Translationese derives from interference, as it is a phenomenon
 that occurs when a literal translation of a stretch of the source text plainly falsifies its meaning,
or violates usage for no apparent reason.

5. Overtranslation and Undertranslation: the translator's common tendency to say more or less
than is needed in order to render the source meaning of some phrase or sentence.

6. Transference: moving along one or more source language words into the target language.

7. Calques: a calque is a form of borrowing where the grammatical structure of the source
language is transferred to the target language.

8. Transposition and Modulation: A translator resorts to transposition when he has to go beyond

linguistic differences and opt for some stylistic consideration. For example, it is used when a
source language grammatical structure does not exist in the target language and it is the only
translation procedure concerned with grammar. Modulation consists of a paraphrasing
technique, which occurs out of the impossibility of rendering a negative sentence into its strictly
affirmative counterpart. The 'active to passive' constructions or vice versa are common cases of
transpositions and modulations at the same time, in languages that lack the other forms.

In conclusion, after closely reading of 'Translation Theory and Practice' and having a greater
understanding of the principles, norms, standards and strategies that make a translation flow fluidly and
be of interest for the target readership, I can now employ them and tackle the translation of Chapter II
of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Even though Oscar Wilde is not an easy author to
understand, with his fine sense of humour that sometimes seems too elusive to be transferred into a
target language, the nuances that he gives to the phrases that his characters utter and the irony that is
present on almost each and every page, I hope that now I can understand his lines properly and
translate them in a manner that is most faithful to the source language,; I have highlighedting the faults
that were made in the previous translation, such as violation of the translation principles and lacks in
style, discourse orand register, shortcomings which are due to the fact that the translation that I have
chosen to compare my text with is an old version, using Romanian words that can now seem outdated
and are not currently used anymore; in view of the situational and informativity norms, this may cause
making the reader to perceive the novel as being old, making it lack the novelty and topicaleverlasting
modernity that, I think, can be observed in each and every one of Oscar Wilde's texts.
 Text Confrontation

He was seated at the piano, Era așezat la pian, cu spatele Era așezat la pian, cu spatele
with his back to them, către ei, și răsfoia un volum către ei, răsfoind paginile unui
turning over the pages of a din Scenele din Pădure ale volum de partituri din Scene
volume of Schumann's lui Schumann. din Pădure compuse de
"Forest Scenes." "You must - Trebuie să-mi împrumuți și Schumann.
lend me these, Basil," he mie partiturile astea, Basil, - Trebuie să mi le împrumuți,
cried. "I want to learn them. strigă Dorian. Vreau să le strigă Dorian. Vreau să le
They are perfectly studiez. Sînt cu totul studiez. Sunt cu totul
charming." extraordinare. fascinante.

While D. Mazilu uses the strategy of Compensation to recover the lost meaning ('partituri'), I
chose to use a different translation strategy, that of Transposition, thus keeping the source
language meaning of Dorian's response ("You must lend me these" - "Trebuie să mi le
împrumuți") and making the text feel more coherent and fluid to the reader.
Furthermore, I decided to translate “charming” as “fascinante”, rather than “extraordinare”,
because I believe the source meaning of the word also subtly implies the state of a mesmerized
speaker, not just a deeply impressed one. I find that, in this way, the translation preserves the
style of the narrative.
Another change in the translation is the currently unaccepted inflection of the Romanian verb “a
fi” as “Sînt”. Of course, this type of remark is due to the period of D. Mazilu’s translation and is
of importance only because of the time gap (the principle of relevance might be thus absent).

"Oh, I am tired of sitting, and - Vai, m-am plictisit să tot - Of, dar m-am plictisit să tot
I don't want a life-sized pozez, și nu vreau nici un pozez, și nu vreau niciun portret
portrait of myself," answered portret în mărime naturală, în mărime naturală, răspunse
the lad, swinging round on răspunse tânărul răsucindu- tânărul învârtindu-se pe
the music-stool in a wilful, se iute pe taburet, cu o taburet cu o atitudine
petulant manner. mișcare îndărătnică și încăpățânată şi copilăros
năzuroasă. mofturoasă.

I chose this particular sentencephrase to highlight the importance of Register, Acceptability and
Style used in D. Mazilu's translation that, I feel, may lead the reader slightly far from the source
language. Leaving aside the old use of ”năzuroasă”, that may trouble some readers, ”petulant
manner” also suggests the childish personality of Dorian Grey, a meaning that is not implied.
Therefore, my choice for ”copilăros mofturoasă” helps the reader to better understand the
background that builds the main character's personality.

"I promised to go to a club in Făgăduisem să o însoțesc I-am promis că voi merge

Whitechapel with her last marțea trecută la un club din împreună cu dânsa într-un club
Tuesday, and I really forgot Whitechapel și vă din Whitechapel marțea trecută
all about it. mărturisesc că am uitat cu și apoi am uitat cu totul.
totul.

I chose this sentence to highlight two important issues, one of them being the use of
"făgăduisem" which is an inflection of the Romanian verb "a făgădui", a verb which is not used
in everyday language anymore and I feel that it would avert the reader's attention from the
message of the text towards the actual choice of words, and, secondly to signal the use of
Overtranslation. I opted to cut the expression "vă mărturisesc” because it is not stated or alluded
to in the source language/ source text.

Would you think it awfully - Ai socoti cumva că sunt - Ti-aș părea îngrozitor de
rude of me if I asked you to grozav de bădăran dacă te- nepoliticos dacă te-aș ruga să
go away?" aș ruga să pleci? pleci?

A fair translation tries to mould its language on every character and will use a certain kind of
register according to their personalities. Basil Hallward, for he is the one that is the character of
this situation, is addressing his good friend Henry in a polite, yet familiar way. By using "grozav
de bădăran", the target language lacks the finesse and ”precious” manner of the source language
used in that particular time and, most important of all, by this particular character. My personal
opinion is that ”îngrozitor de nepoliticos” is closer to the style for rendering the original
atmosphere of the novel.

Hallward bit his lip. Hallward își mușcă buza de Hallward își mușcă buza.
jos.

This is an example of Overtranslation: there is nothing in the source language text that alludes to
the fact that Basil Hallward is biting his lower lip, nor that he might be biting his upper lip.
Although usually when one talks about someone biting his lip, we tend to imagine that said
person biting his lower lip, the same thing is correct for both English and Romanian lip-biters,
therefore I find the adding of "de jos" to have no relevance in this sentence.

Dorian's whims are laws to Extravaganțele lui Dorian Capriicile lui Dorian sunt lege
everybody, except himself. sînt lege pentru toată lumea, pentru toată lumea, mai puțin
afară de el însuși. pentru el însuși.

I chose to replace the word "extravaganțele" with "capriicile" because I find it to be a better
synonym for the word "whims", a synonym that better expresses the meaning of this sentence.

I have promised to meet a Trebuie să mă întâlesc cu Am promis cuiva că ne vom

man at the Orleans. cineva la Orleans. întâlni la Orleans.

I replaced the Romanian "trebuie" with "am promis" because it does not violate the principle of
Equivalence and also because I felt that the source language sentence does not convey the
meaning "I must" which is the Romanian equivalent of "trebuie".

Come and see me some Vino într-o după-amiază să- Vino sa mă vizitezi într-o după-
afternoon in Curzon Street. I mi faci o vizită în Curzon amiază pe Curzon Street. La ora
am nearly always at home at Street. La ceasurile cinci sînt cinci sunt aproape întotdeauna
five o'clock. aproape totdeauna acasă acasă.

I chose this particular part because of ”la orele cinci”. I fully understand the temporal setting of
the action and how the language needs to be slightly embellished, while retaining its fluency in
order to be as natural as can be. At the same time, this particular translation tends to be too
embellished and I consider that the original ”at five o'clock” is unnecessarily translated with a
forced Romanian ”la ceasurile cinci”. My conviction is that a translation has to preserve the
Fidelity Principle as much as possible, by using ”la ora cinci”.

Ask him to stay. I insist upon Spune-i să rămână. Te rog Roagă-l să rămână. Insist!
it. foarte stăruitor.

Wanting to respect the principle of Equivalence and, moreover, the principle of Adequacy, I
chose to change the verb "a spune" - the equivalent of "to tell" - with the verb "a ruga" which is
the equivalent of "to ask". Although, indeed, the verbs tend to be considered synonyms in certain
cases, I continue to underline ”Roagă-l” as the better choice because, in this sequence, Dorian is
trying to indirectly convince Harry through Basil and uses a child-like, slightly spoiled manner
of conviction. Only after Dorian seemingly requires Harry's presence in a polite way, he strongly
”insists” on the matter.
This leads me to the second change I have made. In order to comply with the principle of
Economy, I chose to simplify the sentence ”Te rog foarte stăruitor.” ( which can also be seen as
an instance of Overtranslation ) into the simpler, more direct ”Insist!”. The exclamation mark is
there to emphasize the ”wilful, petulant manner” of Dorian.

He has a very bad influence Are o foarte proastă Are o influență negativă asupra
over all his friends, with the influență asupra tuturor tuturor prietenilor săi, singura
single exception of myself. prietenilor săi, regulă de la excepție de la această regulă
care numai eu singur fac fiind eu însumi.
excepție.

I chose to translate this sentence in this particular manner because I feel that the original
translation ("foarte proastă influență") interferes with the Style and Register of the text. I think
that "o influență negativă" is better suited for this particular example because it does not interfere
with the Intentionality of the text.

To realize one's nature Deplina înflorire a A înțelege întru totul propria

perfectly--that is what each personalității - iată sensul natură - de aceea suntem
of us is here for. existenței sub soare a fiecare dintre noi aici.
fiecăruia dintre noi.

This whole sentence is overcomplicated and I think that it does not match the Intentionality of
the text and, nor does it match Henry Wotton's discourse. I chose to translate it differently
because I think that the stress should not be put on the choice of intricate and pompous words,
but on the message that is transmitted through clear and suitable ones. Lord Henry Wotton's
discourse is frank, honest and shocking for the mentality of the 19 thn century Victorian and I felt
that the emphasis should be put on the directness of his speech and not be honey dewed or
overtranslated by any means.

Of course, they are Bineînțeles că sînt generoși. Desigur, ei toți sunt darnici. Îi
charitable. They feed the Dau de mâncare flămânzilor hrănesc pe flămânzi și îi
hungry and clothe the beggar. și îi îmbracă pe cerșetori. Însă îmbracă pe cerșetori, dar
But their own souls starve, propriile lor suflete mor de propriile lor suflete sunt
and are naked. foame și nu au nicio treanță flămânde și dezbrăcate.
pe ele.

Firstly, I chose to merge the sentences because in this way this whole passage seems more
natural to the target language reader.
Secondly, I chose to change the sentence by means of the Rephrasing strategy because in the
source text Henry Wotton makes a comparison between the Victorians's actions and their own
souls, a comparison which is more evident by using the same terms to describe both the actions
and the soul of the people in question (flămânzi - flamânde; îmbracă - dezbrăcate). I felt that this
particular rendering of words better shows the meaning of the text and also Oscar Wilde's genius
when it comes to subtle allusions and wordplay. This is an instance of my observing more firmly
the cohesiveness norm.

The terror of society, which Spaima de societate, care este Teroarea faţă de societate, care
is the basis of morals, the baza moralei, spaima de este la baza moralei, teroarea
terror of God, which is the Dumnezeu, care este firul față de Dumnezeu, care este
secret of religion - these are trainic al religiei - iată cele secretul religiei - acestea sunt
the two things that govern us. două elemente care ne cele două lucruri care ne
diriguiesc. guvernează.
I chose to change the word “diriguiesc” with “guverneaza” because I felt that the target language
could do just well with a straight and direct translation. The verb “guverneazăa” is the closest to
the source verb “govern” and, therefore, should be the first choice of translation. Moreover, the
verb “to govern” is more familiar to everyday and common English language than is the verb “a
dirigui” to the everyday Romanian language. The difference between the two is mainly in
register.

‘Just turn your head a little - Întoarce doar puțin capul - Doar întoarce capul puțin spre
more to the right, Dorian, mai la dreapta, Dorian, așa, dreapta, Dorian, ca un băiat
like a good boy,’ said ca un băiat bun ce ești, spuse ascultător ce esti, spuse pictorul,
Hallward, deep in his work, pictorul cu totul cufunduat în absorbit de munca sa și fiind
and conscious only that a lucru și conștient doar de conștient doar de faptul că pe
look had come into the lad’s faptul că pe chipul tânărului chipul lui Dorian apăruse o
face that he had never seen apăruse o expresie cum nu expresie pe care nu o mai
there before. mai observase pîna atunci pe văzuse înainte.
fața lui.

The main reason I chose to discuss this particular scene is that the target language seems
repetitive by using “pe fața lui” at the end of the sentence in D. Mazilu’s translation. It is, from
my point of view, an unnecessary detail because the narrator has already made clear that “a look
had come into the lad’s face”. I believe D. Mazilu might have wanted to replace “there” with the
specific location “pe fața lui”, but, by doing this, the translation seems to repeat the “where”
unnecessarily. Therefore, I believe that “o expresie pe care nu o mai văzuse înainte” is a cleaner
and simpler version of the source language.

It has been said that the great S-a spus că marile minuni S-a spus că marile evenimente
events of the world take ale lumii se petrec în capetele ale lumii au loc în mintea
place in the brain. It is in the oamenilor. Tot în capetele umană. Tot în mintea umană, și
brain, and the brain only, that oamenilor, și numai acolo, se doar acolo, au loc de asemenea
the great sins of the world făptuiesc marile păcate ale și marile păcate ale lumii.
take place also. omenirii.
In this case, D. Mazilu’s choice of translation changed “the great events” into “marile minuni”.
As far as I believe, that “marile minuni” emphasizes, more than needed, the impossibility of the
events imagined. A “miracle” is less likely to take place than an “event”. Of course, the whole
discussion underlines all the hypothetical “great events” and “great sins” that are only in the
brain, but they do build themselves to seem as real as possible. By using “marile minuni”, the
reader may wrongly perceive the events as grander and most likely impossible. On the other
hand “marile evenimente” gives power to the imagination of the brain and the illusion that the
events have a potentiallz real attribute.
The main point of my explanation is that “minuni” may send the reader into a slightly wrong
direction, whereas “evenimente” is a more accurate and neutral choice. And, from Oscar Wilde’s
programmatically modern point of view, events rooted in real life are preferred to miracles.

You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, Dumneata, domnule Gray, Tu, domnule Gray, tu însuți, ca
with your rose-red youth and dumneata însuți, cu toți un trandafir roșu de tinerețe și
your rose-white boyhood, trandafirii roșii ai tinereții și alb de copilărie, ai gustat din
you have had passions that cu toți trandafirii albi ai pasiuni care te-au înfricoșat, ai
have made you afraid, copilăriei, ai fost mistuit de avut gânduri care te-au umplut
thoughts that have filled you patimi care te-au de spaimă, simpla amintire a
with terror, day-dreams and înspăimântat, ai fost chinuit daților când ai visat cu ochii
sleeping dreams whose mere de gînduri care te-au umplut deschiși sau cu ei închiși ar
memory might stain your de groază, pe trezie și în putea să-ți păteze obrajii de
cheek with shame-‘ somn ai fost torturat de vise a rușine -
căror singură amintire îți pot
înfiera obrazul cu pecetea
rușinii -

In this particular sequence, I wish to underline two distinct changes:

- the first one is my attempt in reinterpreting the original “your rose-red youth and your rose-
white boyhood” as “ca un trandafir roșu de tinerețe si alb de copilărie”. From my point of view,
this way of translating may better preserve the metaphor in word-gamethe source the source. At
the same time, translation economy is also an advantage, it being not overly expanded.
- the second change in Dumitru Mazilu’sthe translation is the latter “îți pot înfiera obrazul cu
pecetea rușinii”, which I chose to translate as “ar putea să-ți păteze obrajii de rușine”. Indeed, I
do understand D. Mazilu’s choice of words and the link between “înfiera” and “pecetea”.
Nevertheless, I feel that the metaphor is slightly too violent.

‘Stop!’ murmured Dorian - Taci! Abia putu sa îngîne - Destul! îngăimă Dorian
Gray, ‘stop! you bewilder Dorian Gray. Taci! Mă Gray. Destul! Mă buimăcești.
me. I don’t know what to say. năucești! Nu știu ce să Nu știu cum să răspund. Toate
There is some answer to you, răspund. Exista raspuns la tot au un raspuns, dar nu îl pot găsi.
but I cannot find it. Don’t ce ai afirmat pîna acum, dar Nu mai vorbi. Lasă-mă să mă
speak. Let me think, or, nu sunt în stare să-l găsesc. gândesc, sau, mai degrabă,
rather, let me try not to Nu mai spune nimic. Lasă-mă permite-mi să nu mă mai
think.’ să-mi adun gândurile. Sau, gândesc la nimic.
mai degrabă, lasă-mă să
încerc să nu mă mai gândesc
la nimic.

In this particular sequence, I would like to comment the following:

- Here it is the principle of Fidelity that prompted my modification. Personally, I do not agree
with the D.Mazilu’s choice of translating “Stop!” as “Taci”. I feel it is too blunt, too straight-
forward and cannot agree that the overall image of the character, Dorian, matches this particular
style. Therefore, I have chosen “Destul” which sends the message across, and is softer than
“Taci”.
- Another disagreement is with “sa îngîne” used by D.Mazilu for “murmured”. In Romanian, the
first meaning of the verb “a îngâna” is to repeat or to imitate (as a mean joke) the words or
phrases of another person. Of course, its second meaning is also “to murmur”, but the native
Romanian reader will be tempted to judge the first meaning of the word, at least at the very start.
The context does imply the right meaning, but an honest translation should not rely only on
context and textual landscape. Therefore, I chose to use the verb “a îngăima” which is closer to
the intended meaning in the source language,
He was dimly conscious that Trăia senzația nelamurită Conștientiza vag influențele
entirely fresh impulses were ca înrîuriri cu totul noi dau întru totul noi ce începeau să
at work within him, and they navală asupra lui. Totuși i se prindă roade înăuntrul său. Și
seemed to him to have come părea că au venit chiar totuși îi păreau să vină cu
really from himself. dinlauntrul ființei sale. adevărat dinăuntrul său.

This phrase in the target language does not meet entirely the Fidelity Principle, mostly because
of translating “He was dimly conscious” as “Trăia senzația nelămurită”. From my point of view,
the target meaning does not grasp the source meaning and “dimly” should not find an equivalent
in “nelămurită” because they are not similar. Therefore, I have chosen to translate the sequence
as “Constientiza vag influentele” which I found more appropriate.
More than that, the words “were at work within him” might suggest, as far as I understood them,
a continuous process and not a sudden rush as D.Maziulu’s choice in his translation: “dau năvală
asupra lui”.

The few words that Basil’s Cele cîteva cuvinte pe care i Puținele cuvinte pe care
friend had said to him-words le adresase prietenul lui Basil prietenul lui Basil i le spusese -
spoken by chance, no doubt, - cuvinte spuse la întâmplare, cuvinte rostite fără îndoială la
and with wilful paradox in fără îndoială, și pline de voia întâmplării și care
them-had yet touched some paradoxuri căutate - loviseră conțineau un paradox deliberat -
secret chord, that had never o coardă tainică niciodată atinseseră totuși în el o coardă
been touched before, but that atinsă până atunci, dar pe care sensibilă ce nu mai fusese atinsă
he felt was now vibrating and acum o simțea vibrând și înainte, dar pe care o simțea
throbbing to curious pulses. zbuciumându-se în zvîcniri vibrând și tremurând sub
ciudate. influența unor pulsări stranii.

The sole addition to this translation is the lack of “yet” in D.Mazilu’s choice. This particle is
From my point of view, the little piece of word is of needed to the phrase because it underlines
the importance of “the few words” spoken by Basil’s friend. Those words have, unexpectedly,
“touched some secret chord”. It also maintains the fluency desired in the source language.
They seemed to be able to Păreau în stare să dea formă Păreau să poată da formă
give a plastic form to plastică lucrurilor lipsite de plastică lucrurilor lipsite de
formless things, and to have a formă și să răspândească o formă și să aibă o muzică a lor,
music of their own as sweet muzică a lor proprie, la fel de la fel de dulce precum a violei
as that of viol or of flute. dulce ca și acordurile sau a lăutei.
violoncelului ori ale lăutei.

I chose this particular sentence because it contains one of the few mistranslations that can be
found throughout D. Mazilu's translation, that of "viol" which should be translated as "violă" and
not as "violoncel".

He had merely shot an arrow Azvîrlise doar o săgeată în Nu făcuse decât să arunce o
into the air. Had it hit the vînt. Oare nimerise ținta? Cît săgeată în aer. Oare lovise ținta?
mark? How fascinating the de fascinant se dovedea Cât de fascinant era tânărul!
lad was! băietanul din fața lui!

This particular scene is, from my point of view, an example of mild overtranslation. D. Mazilu
chose to translate “How fascinating the lad was!” as “Cît de fascinant se dovedea băietanul din
fața lui!”. Of course, the meaning is not changed in a significant manner, but I feel that by adding
“din fața lui” the translation is elongated for no important reason. From this point of view, I have
chosen to keep the translation as simple and as clear as possible, by saying “Cât de fascinant era
tânărul!”.

Hallward painted Hallward picta mai departe cu Hallward continua

away with that marvellous acea minunată iscusință să picteze cu acea
bold touch of his, that had the îndrăzneață caracteristică fermecătoare îndrăzneală
true refinement and perfect lui și înzestrată cu adevăratul caracteristică tușei sale, care
delicacy that in art, at any rafinament și desavârșita îngloba adevăratul rafinament și
rate comes only from finețe care în artă, orice s-ar delicatețea desavârșită - cele de
strength. He was unconscious spune, izvorăște numai din tipul cărora, în artă, oricine ar fi
of the silence. - forță. Nu-și dădea seama că de acord că vin numai din forță.
se facuse tăcere. Nu-și dădu seama că se făcuse
liniște.
In this particular sequence, I chose to reinterpret “that marvellous bold touch of his” as “acea
fermecătoare îndrăzneală, caracteristică tușei sale”. The main reason for this change is that
“touch”, being used I a “painterly” environment, may suggest a more technical attribute, such as
the Romanian “tușă”. From my point of view, it better preserves the source meaning while also
integrating itself in the correct context, thus being more adequate for the present register.

Basil, let us have something - Basil, dă-ne să bem ceva la - Basil, poți cere să fim serviți
iced to drink, something with gheață, ceva cu căpșuni. cu o băutură la gheața, ceva
strawberries in it.’ cu căpșuni?

Taking into consideration the text’s temporal context and the relationships between the
characters, I would like to suggest that a request, especially in this particular period, would have
been made with a certain delicacy. The translation offered by D.Mazilu - “Basil, dă-ne să bem
ceva la gheața, ceva cu căpșuni.” - may seem to ignore this exact type of English delicacy and
good manners. Moreover, the source text does add the intention of politeness by using “let us
have”, an intention that is not present in the translation. The causative use of “having a
servant/another specialised agent perform an action in the benefit of somebody else” is also
missing here. Therefore, I have chosen to translate the part as: “Basil, poți cere să fim serviți cu o
băutură la gheața, ceva cu căpșuni?”.
The main reason I made this particular change is because I felt the need to soften the translation.
The action is set in a period when butlers were perfectly agreed and respectable men from
society asked them to take care of certain requests, especially when guests were involved. It is
most unlikely that Basil himself would have brought the drinks, so it is more appropriate not to
leave this impression. Taking all these into consideration, I believe D.Mazilu’s translation may
not respect the principle of Adequacy and the principle Accuracy.

‘Certainly, Harry. Just touch - Cu multă plăcere, Harry. Fii - Desigur, Harry. Sună te rog
the bell, and when Parker bun și sună, iar cum s-o din clopoțel și-i voi spune eu lui
comes I will tell him what înfățișa Parker, am să-i spun Parker ce dorești de îndată ce va
you want. I have got to work ce dorești. Eu mai am încă de ajunge. Eu mai trebuie să lucrez
up this background, so I will lucru ca să pun la punct puțin la fundalul acesta, așa c-o
join you later on. fundalul acesta, așa că o să să vin langă voi peste ceva timp.
vin ceva mai tîrziu.

This sequence is the follow up, Basil’s answer, to the previous analyzed text, Harry’s request. I
would like to make the following comment:
- When the source text says “just touch the bell”, it automatically positions the reader in front of
a typical action of the Victorian age, when butlers were “called” by the bell. However, if the
target text is not explicit enough with its readers, the Romanian verb “a suna” may send a
different message, that of calling on the phone. Of course, we must bear in mind the setting, but I
do believe that a helpful translation should keep all the necessary elements that may help the
reader to position the action in time and space. I am especially referring to the word “bell”, from
“just touch the bell”, which is completely absent in D. Mazilu’s translation.
The mental image of someone ringing a bell in order for the butler to come in is extremely
common and has been widely used in literature. For this reason, I believe that “Fii bun și sună”
may appear incomplete to the readers.

I have never been in better Niciodată n-am pictat cu Nu am fost

form for painting than I am mai multă vervă decât niciodată într-o formă mai
to-day. This is going to be my astăzi. Portretul are să fie bună pentru pictat decât cea
masterpiece. It is my capodopera mea. Este în care sunt astăzi. Aceasta va
masterpiece as it stands.’ capodopera mea chiar așa fi capodopera mea. Deja este
cum e acum. capodopera mea, așa cum este
acum.

This specific sequence has been a challenge, because I had to measure the importance of the
Fidelity Principle and that of the Relevance Principle. The source text “I have never been in
better form for painting than I am to-day.” gravitates around the expression “to be in a good
form” that gives meaning to the whole phrase. In order for the Fidelity Principle to be applied,
the Romanian equivalent wouldod have been “a fi intr-o formă bună”. These two are synonyms
and go hand in hand.
Although, I do have to admit that ignoring the Fidelity Principle and choosing to use the word
“vervă” can be applied perfectly in this particular situation because it merges with the meaning
and the context of artistic inspiration. D.Mazilu’s translation is more relevant to the context by
using “cu mai multă vervă decât astăzi”, while my translation wanted to apply the Fidelity
Principle by using “într-o formă mai bună pentru pictat”. I do not wish to declare the winner
because I believe both choices respect the source language, but merely want to present an
alternative.

He could not help liking the Nu izbutea să-și stăpînească Nu se putea abține să nu-l placă
tall, graceful young man who simpatia puternica trezită în pe tânărul grațios și înalt care
was standing by him. suflet de tînărul acesta înalt și stătea langa el.
grațios, aflat acum alături de
el.

As I have discussed previously shown, instances of overtranslation may send a different message
to the reader, when SITUATIONALLY judged and the text might be interpreted with different
implications. D. Mazilu chose to translate “He could not help liking” as “Nu izbutea să-și
stăpânească simpatia puternică”. In the source text, the verb “liking” does not have the meaning
of a strong feeling, as the Romanian translation proposed by D. Mazilu has in “simpatia
puternică”. Taking this into consideration, I believe a clearer meaning, not an overtranslated one,
should be used.

You really must not let yourself become sunburnt. It would be very unbecoming to you.’
Pentru nimic în lume nu trebuie să te lași ars de soare. Nu ți-ar sta bine.
Nu trebuie să îți permiți sub nici o formă să te bronzezi. Nu te-ar prinde/nu te-ar avantajaputea
complimenta absolut deloc.

Yet again, I stand fierce on Ppreserving the shades of meaning of the source language is essential in the
target language, too, as the EQUIVALENCE PRINCIPLE requires. specific language of the time. By
this I intend to emphasize on the art of choosing the right words that send a very straightforward
message, in a camouflaged and sometimes “lavish” way.
The sentence “It would be very unbecoming to you.” expresses a clear disapproval on the matter but
chooses an alternative that, although sending the same message, does so in a “precious” way.
When D.Mazilu chose to translate the sentence “It would be very unbecoming to you.” as “Nu ți-ar sta
bine”, I feel that the style and delicacy of the sentence might not be preserved in the target language.
His choice oversimplifies and