Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The sentence construction “(noun) (verb phrase) by (noun)” is known as passive voice or passive
construction, because the true subject is relegated to the end of the sentence and is thus acted on,
rather than acting, which often weakens the statement.
The solution is simple: Give the focal point of the sentence its due — “(noun) (verb) (noun),” and
demote the false subject to the back of the line. Note that not every passive construction is evil —
sometimes what seems to be the false subject is worthy of prominence — but a preponderance of
passive constructions leads to a wearying read.
2. “It was determined by the committee that the report was inconclusive.”
Again, the subject is weak and indeterminate. Two actors, the committee and the report, are vying
for the lead role here, but committee is the bearer of the news about the report, and to place the
report the head of the sentence would be to replace one passive sentence with another. Attend to the
actors: “The committee determined that the report was inconclusive.”
4. “Groups help participants realize that most of their problems and secrets are shared by
others in the group.”
This sentence starts off actively but then turns and bellies up in the middle; emphasizing “others in
the group” over “most of their problems and secrets” makes the sentence more active: “Groups help
participants realize that others in the group share most of their problems and secrets.”
6. “Minor keys, modal movement, and arpeggios are shared by both musical traditions.”
The writer is detailing key information at the head of this sentence, but starting off with the context
is stronger: “Both musical traditions share minor keys, modal movement, and arpeggios.”
7. “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the onslaught of new ideas until the old
gods were finally displaced by Christianity.”
Remember when I wrote that not every passive voice should be targeted for reconstruction? This
sentence is more active, but no more correct: “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the
onslaught of new ideas until Christianity finally displaced the old gods.” Perhaps the
newcomer, Christianity, should also come later in the sentence.
Again, don’t indiscriminately exterminate passive construction at the expense of the writer’s voice
or intent, but do exercise judicial revision to rejuvenate pallid prose.