COU104 StudyGuide

COU104
SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING
STUDY GUIDE (5CU)

Course Development Team
Head of Programme : Dr Cecilia Soong
Course Developer : A/P Jessie Ee
Production : Educational Technology & Production Team
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CONTENTS
COURSE GUIDE
1. Introduction .......................................................................................................1
2. Course Description and Aims .........................................................................2
3. Learning Outcomes .......................................................................................... 3
4. Overview Assessment ...................................................................................... 4
5. Learning Materials ............................................................................................ 5
6. Learning Mode ................................................................................................ 12
CHAPTER 1
WHAT IS SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING?
Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH1-1
Overview .......................................................................................................... CH1-1
1.1 The Current Concern ................................................................................ CH1-2
1.2 What Is Needed for Employability in the 21st Century? .................... CH1-2
1.3 What Is Social Emotional Learning? ...................................................... CH1-4
1.4 What Are the Skills that I Need to Develop to Improve My SECs? .. CH1-8
CHAPTER 2
UNDERSTANDING MYSELF THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS
Overview.......................................................................................................... CH2-1
2.1 Introduction ............................................................................................... CH2-2
2.2 What Is Self-awareness?........................................................................... CH2-2

2.3 What Do You Need to Do to Be Self-aware? ........................................ CH2-3
2.4 Advantages of Self-awareness? .............................................................. CH2-3
2.5 Setting Goals .............................................................................................. CH2-5
2.6 Awareness of Your Purpose in Life ....................................................... CH2-6
CHAPTER 3
MANAGING AND REGULATING EMOTIONS
Overview .......................................................................................................... CH3-1
3.1 What Is Self-management? ...................................................................... CH3-2
3.2 What Does Neurobiology Have to Say about the Relationship among Our
Cognition, Emotions and Behaviour? .......................................................... CH3-2
3.3 How Do Emotions Affect One’s Thoughts and Actions? ................... CH3-3
3.4 Recognising and Identifying One’s Emotions ...................................... CH3-4
3.5 How Emotions Reflect One’s Actions or Behaviour ............................ CH3-7
3.6 How to Take Control of Our Emotions ................................................. CH3-8
3.7 Translating and Expressing Negative Emotions in Positive Ways.. CH3-11
3.8 What Are Some Helpful Coping Strategies for Stress and
Anxiety?..........................................................................................................CH3-15
CHAPTER 4
DEVELOPING AND PROMOTING SOCIAL AWARENESS
Overview .......................................................................................................... CH4-1
4.1 What Is Social Awareness and Why Is It Important? .......................... CH4-2

4.2 How Does One Develop Social Awareness? ...................................... CH4-2
4.3 How Can We Nurture Social Awareness and Communicate or Mediate for
Others?.............................................................................................................. CH4-3
4.4 Develop Social Awareness to Reduce Prejudices ................................. CH4-6
CHAPTER 5
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
Overview .......................................................................................................... CH5-1
5.1 What Is Relationship Management? ...................................................... CH5-2
5.2 What Are the Obstacles to Harmonious Relationships? ..................... CH5-2
5.3 What Are the Crucial Skills in Maintaining Relationships? ............... CH5-6
5.4 What Are Some Ways of Building and Maintaining Healthy Relationships?
........................................................................................................................... CH5-6
5.5 Ways to Communicate Disagreement with Dignity ............................ CH5-7
5.6 How Does One Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship in a Constructive Way?

........................................................................................................................... CH5-8
5.7 Conflicts in Relationships ...................................................................... CH5-10
CHAPTER 6
MAKING RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS
Overview .......................................................................................................... CH6-1
6.1 Introduction ............................................................................................... CH6-2
6.2 Roadblocks to Responsible Decision-making ....................................... CH6-2
6.3 What Is Responsible Decision-making? ................................................ CH6-3

6.4 What Are the Processes Involved in Responsible Decision-making?
…………………………………………………………………………………CH6-4
6.5 Some Responsible Decision-making Formats....................................... CH6-6
6.6 Making Career Choices ............................................................................ CH6-9
Summary ........................................................................................................ CH6-13

COURSE GUIDE
COU104 COURSE GUIDE
1 Introduction
(Access video via iStudyGuide)
Welcome to your study of COU104 Social Emotional Learning, a 5 credit unit (CU)
course. According to Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning
(CASEL), Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is the process of acquiring and effectively
applying the knowledge, attitudes and skills necessary to recognise and to manage
emotions; develop care and concern for others; make responsible decisions; establish
positive relationships; and handle challenging situations effectively. In other words,
this Study Guide will help you understand and develop your own social emotional
competencies through the various activities and resources organised for you to learn.
Course Schedule
To help monitor your understanding and application, you should pay special
attention to your Course Schedule. It contains study units related activities including
self-evaluation, reflection logs, quizzes and examinations. Please refer to the Course
Timetable in the Student Portal for the updated Course Schedule.
NOTE:
You should always make it a point to check the Student Portal for any announcements
and latest updates.
You need to ensure that you fully understand the contents of each Study Unit covered
in the Course Schedule. You are expected to complete the suggested activities either
independently and/or in groups. It is imperative that you read through your reflection
logs and submission instructions before embarking on your task, as it will assist in
your awareness and comprehension level. Details of your Overall Assessment will be
covered in Section 4 of this Guide.
Manage your time well so that you can meet the stipulated deadlines, and do regular
revisions after completing each unit. The units will help you retain the knowledge
garnered and prepare you for your formal assessments. The end-of-course
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
examination will assess your level of social emotional competencies, if you have
diligently done your course activities and are able to apply them.
Although this is an e-learning course where you learn at your own pace, space and
time, you are encouraged to engage your instructors and fellow students in online
discussions/forums. The sharing of ideas through meaningful debates will help
broaden your learning and crystallise your thinking.
2 Course Description and Aims

COU104 aims to develop five Social Emotional Competencies (SECs), namely self-
awareness, social awareness, self-management, relationship management and
responsible decision-making. Chapter 1 assists you to understand the importance of
developing your social emotional competencies for tomorrow’s world. Chapters 2 and
3 address the domains of self-awareness and self-management related to the
understanding of self which helps in identifying your strengths and weaknesses, and
managing your emotions and actions. Chapters 4 and 5 address the domains of social
awareness and relationship management which relate to understanding the needs of
others and one’s social interactions. Chapter 6 encourages you to apply the SECs
(mentioned earlier) when making moral and ethical choices and responsible decisions
with regard to handling oneself and others, and dealing with challenging situations.
This course will enhance your social emotional competencies by providing relevant
real-life activities that deal with the relevant social and emotional dimensions, so that
you may be given opportunities to practise these SECs through the use of dilemmas,
role-plays and other hands-on activities.
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
3 Learning Outcomes
A. Knowledge & Understanding (Theory Component)

At the end of the course, you will be able to:
1. list the factors that influence social emotional competencies
2. respect others and self
3. recognise that everyone has emotions but his/her emotions may differ because
of different experiences, cultural backgrounds or levels of confidence
4. discuss how emotions can affect your cognition and behaviour
5. demonstrate social awareness in communication
6. demonstrate social awareness to reduce prejudices
7. discuss ways of building and maintaining healthy relationships
8. identify factors that can impact relationships
9. identify mental blocks that prevent you from making responsible decisions
10. apply the processes in making responsible decisions
B. Key Skills (Practical Component)
At the end of the course, you should have developed the following skills to:
1. determine realistic goals that help one to build his/her strengths, overcome
his/her areas of weaknesses, and work towards excellence in one’s life
2. develop ways to nurture one’s strengths and minimise one’s weaknesses
3. discuss the relevant strategies in managing negative emotions and promoting
reflection, and analytical and innovative thinking
4. develop constructive ways to express one’s emotions
5. apply empathy and consider perspective-taking
6. execute mediation skills in conflict resolution
7. apply the SOLVED approach with interpersonal problems
8. manage conflict resolution in constructive ways
9. explain the pros, cons and consequences of one’s decisions on self and others,
and act on the appropriate decisions within a given context
10. recognise the motives behind one’s action, and have the moral courage to make
the right decisions
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
4 Overall Assessment
Assessment Description Weight

Allocation
Assignment 1 TMA 01 15%

Individual Written Assignment based on Chapters 1 to
3 assesses your understanding of each chapter. The
assignment consists of two sections. The first section
will be based on personal insights that you gained from
each of the chapters. The second section will highlight
how you apply what you have learnt to improve your
social emotional competencies.
Assignment 2 TMA 02 35 %
Individual Written Assignment: 3-5 minute conflict
resolution video clip to assess how you would resolve
a conflict. The second section will be a review of a
research article on conflict-managment or a specific
programme that you have used to resolve a conflict that
you had experienced.
Examination Two-hour examination to assess your application of 50 %

knowledge and skills acquired from the six chapters,
and how you would apply Social Emotional
Competencies in today’s world.
TOTAL 100%
Passing Mark:
To successfully pass the course, you must obtain at least a mark of 40 percent for the
combined assessments and also at least a mark of 40 percent for the final examination.
For detailed information on the Course grading policy, please refer to The Student
Handbook (‘Award of Grades’ section under Assessment and Examination
Regulations). The Student Handbook is available from the Student Portal.
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Non-graded Learning Activities:
Activities for the purpose of self-learning are present in each chapter. These learning
activities are meant to enable you to assess your understanding and achievement of
the learning outcomes. The type of activities can be in the form of Quiz, Review
Questions, Application-based Questions, etc. You are expected to complete the
suggested activities either independently and/or in groups.
5 Learning Materials
The following is a list of the required learning materials to complete this course.
Required Textbook(s)
Author(s) Title Year Publisher

Last name, First
name
Ee, Jessie. Infusing Thinking and 2012 Pearson Ed

Social-Emotional
Learning in Children and
Youths
Merrell, K.W. & Social Emotional Learning 2010 The Guilford Press
Gueldner, B.A. in the Classroom:
Promoting Mental Health
and Academic Success.
Other recommended study materials (Optional)
The following learning materials may be required to complete the learning activities:
Journal Allport, G. W. (1954). The Nature of Prejudice. Cambridge, MA: Addison-

Article Wesley.
Anderson, A.K. & Phelps, E.A. (2002) Is the human amygdala critical
for the subjective experience of emotion? Evidence of intact
dispositional affect in patients with amygdala lesions. Journal of
Cognitive Neuroscience, 14(5), 709–20.
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Aos, S., Lieb, R., Mayfield, J., Miller, M. & Pennucci, A. (2004).
Benefits and costs of prevention and early intervention programs
for youth. Washington State Institute for Public Policy. Accessed
from http://wsipp.wa.gov/rptfiles/04-07-3901.pdf
Botvin, G. J. & Griffin, K. W. (2004). Life skills training: Empirical

findings and future directions, Journal of Primary Prevention, 25(2),
211-232.
Brown,P., Hesketh, A. & Wiliams, S. (2003). Employability in a

knowledge-driven economy. Journal of Education and Work, 16(2), 107-
126.
Deepthi, K.V. S. (2013). Keep empathy alive. The Straits Times,

Saturday, 7th Dec. p26.
Durlak, J. & Wells, A. (1998). Evaluation of indicated preventive

intervention (secondary prevention) mental health programs for
children and adolescents. American Journal of Community Psychology,
26(5), 775-802.
Durlak, J. & Wells, A. (1997). Primary prevention mental health

programs for children and adolescents: A meta-analytic review.
American Journal of Community Psychology, 25(2), 115-152.
Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., &

Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students’ social
and emotional learning: A meta-analysis of school-based universal
interventions. Child Development, 82, 405–432.
Ee, J. (2008). Empowering Metacognition and Self-regulation Through Social

Emotional Learning: Lessons for the Classroom. Singapore: Cengage
Learning Asia Pte Ltd.
Ee, J. (2009). Strategies for empowering metacognition through SEL. In

Ee, J. (Ed), Empowering Metacognition Through Social Emotional
Learning: Lessons for the Classroom. Singapore: Cengage Learning
Pte Ltd. Chapter 1, 3-24.
Ee, J. (2012). Enhancing children’s self-management of their emotions

and behaviours. In Ee, J. (Ed), Infusing Thinking and Social Emotional
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Learning in Children and Youths. Singapore: Pearson Education

Asia. Part 1, Chapter 3, 18-25.
Ee, J. (2013). Equipping Secondary School Students with Metacognitive and

Social Emotional Competency Skills to Meet the Challenges of the 21st
Century. Research Report. Singapore: National Institute of
Education.
Ee, J. and Chang, A. (2009). Teachers as Models of SEL Competencies.

In Ee, J. (Ed), Empowering Metacognition and Self-regulation Through
Social Emotional Learning: Lessons for the Classroom. Singapore:
Cengage Learning Pte Ltd. Chapter 2, 25-34.
Ee, J. & Zhou, M. (2012). Empowering Metacognition Through Social

Emotional Learning. Research Report. Singapore: National Institute
of Education.
Elias, M.J., O’Brien, M. U., & Weissberg, R. P. (2006). Transformative

Leadership for Social Emotional Learning.
Goleman, D. P. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More

Than IQ for Character, Health and Lifelong Achievement. Bantam
Books, New York.
Gordon, T. (2009). The Twelve Communication Roadblocks.

http://parenteffectivenesstraining.blogspot.sg/2009/02/some-notes-
on-12-communication.html
Greenberg, M.T. (2006). Promoting resilience in children and youth:

Preventive interventions and their interface with neuroscience.
New York Academy of Sciences, 1094, 139-150.
Hawkins, Kosteman, Catalano, Hill, Abbott (2005). Positive adult

functioning through social development intervention in childhood.
Long-term effects from the Seattle Social Development Project.
Archives of Paediatrics & Adolescence Medicine, 159(1), 25-31.
Hogan, D. (2006). Education and the pursuit of happiness in Singapore.

Presentation at ERAS Conference 30th May 2006, Singapore.
Jensen, E. (2005). Teaching with the Brain in Mind (2nd ed.). Alexandria,
VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Keister, S.C., Apacki, C., Kaye, C.B. & Barr, L. (2003). Stepping up to good
decisions. In Skills for Adolescence. Unit 2, Lesson 8. US: Ohio, Lions
Clubs International Foundation.
Lantieri, L. (2008). Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques for Cultivating

Inner Strength in Children. Boulder: Sounds True.
Schmidt, F.L. & Hunter, J.E. (1998). The validity and utility of selection
methods in personnel psychology. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 262–
274.
Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., Caruso, D. R. & Sitarenios, G. (2001) Emotional

intelligence as a standard intelligence. Emotion, 1(3), 232-242
Payton, J. W., Wardlaw, D. M., Graczyk, P. A., Bloodworth, M. R.,

Tompsett, C. J., & Weissberg, R. P. (2000). Social and emotional
learning: A framework for promoting mental health and reducing
risk behavior in children and youth. Journal of School Health, 70(5),
179-185.
Payton, J., Weissberg, R.P., Durlak, J.A., Dymnicki, A.B., Taylor, R.D.,
Schellinger, K.B. & Pachan, M. The positive impact of social and
emotional learning for kindergarten to eighth-grade students.
http://web.archive.org/web/20150412010616/http://www.lpfch.org/
sel/PackardES-REV.pdf
Perkins, D.N. (1992). Smart Schools: From Training Memories to Educating

Minds: New York: The Free Press.
Pious, S. (2003). The Psychology of Prejudice, Stereotyping and

Discrimination: An Overview. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Riggs, N.R., Jahromi,L.B., Razza, R.P., Dilworth-Bart,J.E. & Mueller, U.

(2006). Erratum to “Executive function and the promotion of social
emotional competence”, Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology,
27, 300–309.
Salovey, P. & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination,

Cognition and Personality, 9, 185-211.
Wagner, T. (2008). The Global Achievement Gap. New York: Basic Books.
Weissberg, R. P., & Elias, M. J. (1993). Enhancing young people's social

competence and health behavior: An important challenge for
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
educators, scientists, policy makers and funders. Applied and

Preventive Psychology: Current Scientific Perspectives, 2 (4), 179-190.
Weissberg R. P., Durlak, J. A., Taylor, R. D., Dynmicki, A. B., & O’Brien,
M. U. (2007). Promoting social and emotional learning enhances school
success: Implications of a meta-analysis. Unpublished manuscript.
Wells, A. (2000). Emotional Disorders and Metacognition: Innovative

Cognitive Therapy. Chichester, UK: Wiley.
Whalen, P. J. (1998). Fear, vigilance, and ambiguity: Initial

neuroimaging studies of the human amygdala. American
Psychological Society, 7(6), 177-188.
Wang, M.C.; Haertel, G.D.; Walberg, H.J. 1998. Models of reform:
A comparative guide. Educational Leadership (Alexandria, VA),

55(7), 66–71.
Wang, M.C.; Oates, J.; Whiteshew, N. (1995). Effective school responses

to student diversity in inner-city schools: A co-ordinated approach.
Education and Urban Society CA: Thousand Oaks, 27(4), 32-43.
Young, M. P., Scannell, J. W. & Burns, G. A. P. C. (1994). The Analysis of

Cortical Connectivity. Heidelberg, Germany: Springer.
Zins, J. E., Bloodworth, M. R., Weissberg, R. P., & Walberg, H. J. (2004).

The scientific base linking emotional learning to student success
and academic outcomes. In J. E. Zins, R. P. Weissberg, M. C. Wang
& H. J. Walberg (Eds), Building Academic Success on Social and
Emotional Learning: What Does the Research Say? (pp.3-22). New
York, NY: Teachers College Press.
Zins, J.E., & Elias, M.J. (2006). Social and emotional learning. In G.G.
Bear & K.M. Minke (Eds), Children’s Needs III: Development,
Prevention and Intervention (pp. 1-13). Bethesda, MD: National
Association of School Psychologists.
Zhou, M.M. & Ee, J. (2012). Development and validation of social

emotional competency questionnaire. International Journal of
Emotional Education, 4(2), 27-42.
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Zull, J. (2002). The Art of Changing the Brain: Enriching the Practice of
Teaching by Exploring the Biology of Learning. Sterling, VA: Stylus
Publishing.
Website What is SEL?
http://www.edutopia.org/daniel-goleman-social-emotional-learning-
video (5.07)
(Access link via Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, or Safari)
Self-Awareness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmJpc0EiYZc (1.14)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpm07YDS5M8 (2.19)
Personality Questionnaire
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer?req=MTF8M
TI5N3w1Njg1NjY2fDF8MQ==&refempt=
Learning Style
http://www.edutopia.org/multiple-intelligences-learning-styles-quiz
Self-Esteem
http://www.wwnorton.com/college/psych/psychsci/media/rosenberg.h
tm
Understanding Your Emotions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMtooRvyRUk
Social Awareness is Tuning into Other People
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh2NhI7_eGw (2.16)
Roots of Empathy
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_em
pathic_people1 (4.49)
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Websites on Coping with Anger
http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/index.aspx
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102
Websites on Coping with Depression
http://www.apa.org/topics/depress/index.aspx
Website on Coping with Anxiety
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201210/coping-
anxiety
Websites on Coping with Fear
http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Fear
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-
depression/Pages/dealing-with-fears.aspx
My Best Friend’s Wedding on Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlB-BbWBzd8
Video / Spiderman or Broken Promise video-clip

Audio
Material Conflict Resolution video-clip
SEC Questionnaire
Character Strengths Questionnaire
Prejudice Questionnaire
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
6. Learning Mode
The learning process for this course is structured along the following lines of learning:
(a) Self-study guided by the study guide units. Independent study will require at
least 3 hours per week.
(b) Working on assignments individually.
iStudyGuide
You may be viewing the iStudyGuide version, which is the mobile version of the
Study Guide. The iStudyGuide is developed to enhance your learning experience with
interactive learning activities and engaging multimedia. Depending on the reader you
are using to view the iStudyGuide, you will be able to personalise your learning with
digital bookmarks, note-taking and highlight sections of the guide.
Interaction with Instructor and Fellow Students
Although flexible learning – learning at your own pace, space and time – is a hallmark
at SUSS, you are encouraged to engage your instructor and fellow students in online
discussion forums. Sharing of ideas through meaningful debates will help broaden
your learning and crystallise your thinking.
Academic Integrity
As a student of SUSS, it is expected that you adhere to the academic standards

stipulated in The Student Handbook, which contains important information
regarding academic policies, academic integrity and course administration. It is
necessary that you read and understand the information stipulated in the Student
Handbook, prior to embarking on the course.
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COU104 COURSE GUIDE
Refer to the roadmap below to plan your study throughout this course.
13
CHAPTER 1
WHAT IS SOCIAL EMOTIONAL
LEARNING?
COU104 CHAPTER 1
Learning Outcomes
At the end of this chapter, you are expected to:
 explain the need for social emotional competencies in today’s world

 identify the benefits of social emotional learning
 outline skills for the five social emotional competencies
 recognise the relevance of social emotional competencies in your life
Overview
This chapter will develop your self-awareness of some common concerns in the
society e.g. troubling trends in youths’ attitudes and behaviour, the rise of mass media,
breakdown of families, and societal moral decline that lead to the urgent need to
develop everyone’s social-emotional competencies for the 21st century. This is to
enhance greater self-awareness of how your own social emotional competencies may
affect yourself and others at home, workplace or within a certain community.
CH1-1
COU104 CHAPTER 1
1.1 The Current Concern
In the quest for academic excellence, a higher standard of education is expected

resulting in much paper chase to the extent that children and youths today perceive
education as obtaining high marks and high salaries in the workforce (Hogan, 2006;
Zins, Bloodworth, Weissberg & Walberg, 2004, Zins & Elias, 2006).
The influence of the mass media on the psychosocial development of children is

profound. Current studies show that excessive television watching and Internet
surfing have deleterious effect on learning and academic achievement. It also
encourages other negative habits like drug-taking, sexual orientations, etc.
Furthermore, with the increased divorce rate, there is so much adverse emotional
impact on children and youths, resulting in societal moral decline and poor resiliency
in youths today. Young workers today are often characterised as being not so able to
take some of the hard knocks in life such as the following:
• In a Singapore Human Resources Institute study done in 2010, 71% of Gen Y

respondents agreed or strongly agreed that it was “normal” for Gen Y workers to
job hop.
• In 2011, HR firm Kelly Services found that 63% of Gen Y respondents felt that they
were likely to switch jobs within the next five years.
• In 2013, career portal STJobs reported that almost 61% of employees who plan to
leave their jobs after collecting their year-end bonus are Gen Y workers.
This reflects the way this young generation thinks not just in Singapore but worldwide.
The reality is that many only find their calling, or at least a good job fit, after they
obtained some work experience and through some trial and error. Indeed, recent
Straits Times survey done in August 2014 found out that 67% of the employees in their
20s would give up a high-paying job for one with more meaning and purpose.
Therefore, it is important that everyone discovers their passion and their calling in life
so that they can maximise their chances of choosing the right academic courses and
career tracks which match their strengths, and the country’s and world’s needs.
1.2 What Is Needed for Employability in the 21st Century?
According to the U.S. Secretary of Commission (1991), one needs both academic and
non-academic competencies as good jobs require a wide range of higher-order skills
and expertise. Brown et al. (2003) found that people lack “employability skills” – a
CH1-2
COU104 CHAPTER 1
quality reflecting one’s reliance, personal drive and interpersonal skills. Wagner (2008)
identified the seven survival skills for the 21st Century skills needed:
1. Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving
2. Collaboration, Teamwork and Leadership
3. Creativity and Innovation
4. Managing Change & Lifelong Learning
5. Effective Oral and Written Communication
6. Cross-cultural Understanding and Information Communication Technology (ICT)
Literacy
7. Resourcefulness and Self-reliance
Due to the rapid pace of change in technology and industries, there is a need to ensure
that there are adequate education opportunities for continual learning and re-learning,
as part of lifelong learning. This helps them to meet the challenges of the new economy.
However, the president of the U.S., Mr Obama, once said that the biggest deficit in
society currently is empathy deficit - the ability to understand fellow human beings
by standing in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes, as empathy at
home nurtures strong family ties. At the workplace, empathy provides the foundation
for leadership, teamwork and innovation as from a prosocial environment so that
employees are able to strive for meaning at their workplace. Empathic leaders and
managers make it their priority to understand the needs of their employees and find
practical ways to meet their needs. Likewise, an empathic business enterprise is
driven by a deep understanding of customer needs, and a strong desire to meet those
needs without an obsession with the bottom line. Armed with a deep understanding
of their customers’ needs and empathy, business enterprise would see opportunities
ahead of their competitors. Empathy for customers fuels long-term sustainability of a
business enterprise (Deepthi, 2013).
Education is one of Singapore’s top priorities in preparing the nation to meet the
challenges of the 21st Century. How can critical thinking, lifelong learning, and
character building be instilled in our students so as to better prepare them for
tomorrow’s world?
CH1-3
COU104 CHAPTER 1
Besides the seven survival skills, the following skills are necessary for a better
tomorrow:
• Awareness of self and others
• Management of own emotions and others
• Development of empathy and perspective-taking
• Forging healthy relationships
• Dealing with life’s challenges
As such, attention is given to developing social emotional competencies.
1.3 What Is Social Emotional Learning?
Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is a process for learning life skills, including how to
deal with oneself, others and relationships; and work in an effective manner. In
dealing with oneself, SEL helps in recognising your emotions and learning how to
manage those feelings. In dealing with others, SEL helps with developing empathy
and compassion for others, and maintaining positive relationships. SEL also helps a
person to focus on dealing with a variety of problem-solving situations in a
constructive and ethical manner, when faced with life’s challenges.
The concept of SEL derives from the work of Goleman (1995) and others (e.g. Salovey
& Mayer, 1990) on Emotional Intelligence (EQ). The skills involved being confident
and motivated, knowing what behaviour is expected, curbing impulsivity; being
patient, tolerant and focused, knowing how to seek help to express needs and getting
along with others. Payton et al. (2000) perceives SEL as the process for integrating
thinking, feelings and behaviour to achieve important social tasks and meeting
personal and social needs, and developing the skills necessary to become a productive,
contributing member of the society. Basically, SEL is the process of developing one’s
ability to recognise, understand and manage one’s and other’s emotions, build healthy
relationships, solve problems and make effective, responsible and ethical decisions
(Payton, et al., 2000).
SEL has been found to improve academic attitudes such as motivation, commitment
and behaviour such as attendance, study habits, cooperative learning, as well as
performance in terms of grades, test scores and subject mastery (Zins, et al., 2004). A
meta-analysis of 207 SEL school interventions (Durlak, Weissberg, Dymnicko, Taylor,
& Schellinger, 2008) involving 288,000 students between ages 5 and 18 showed that
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conduct performance and emotional distress were reduced while attitude about the
self, others and the school as well as achievement scores have improved.
In another meta-analysis of 270 SEL programmes that promote social-emotional

competencies (SECs), it was found that SEL interventions significantly improved
students’ attachment and attitudes towards school, thus leading to better social
attendance, higher motivation, and higher morale (Durlak & Wells, 1997; 1998; Zins,
et al., 2004). At the same time, it decreases rates of violence/aggression, disciplinary
referrals, and substance abuse (Weissberg & Elias, 1993, Weissberg, Durlak, Taylor,
Dynmicki, & O’Brien, 2007). Based on evidence from 61 educational researches, 91
meta-analyses, and 179 handbook chapters, Wang, Haetel, and Wallberg (1997) found
that social and emotional factors were among the most influential factors on student’s
learning. Particularly high-ranking social and emotional components included
classroom management, parental support, student-teacher interactions, social-
behavioural attributes, motivational-affective attributes, the peer group, school
culture, and classroom climate. In an analysis of 100 studies, Goleman (1995) found
that students who had received training in SEL, as compared with those who had not,
earned higher grades, scored 14% higher on achievement tests, and were less
impulsive and better at calming themselves (Lantieri, 2009). These researchers
concluded that directly influencing the psychological components of learning is an
effective way of changing how much and how well students learn. In Singapore, both
primary SEL research and secondary SEL research also proved that SEL facilitates
metacognition, academic performance and has sustainability effect (Ee & Zhou, 2012;
Ee, 2013).
Evidence shows that effective SEL programmes can provide good returns for their
costs; that is, the value of their benefits that exceeds their costs (Aos, Lieb, Mayfield,
Miller, & Pennucci, 2004). For instance, providing the Seattle Social Development
Program (Hawkins, Smith, & Catalano, 2004) which costs $4,590 per student annually,
reaps a benefit of $14,426, or $3.14 per dollar spent per student. Likewise, the Child
Development Project (now known as Caring School Community; Schaps, Battistich, &
Solomon, 2004) has benefits of $28.42 for each dollar spent, and Life Skills Training
(Botvin, 2004) has $25.61 for each dollar spent in benefits. These demonstrated benefits
include improved educational outcomes (e.g. test scores, graduation rates), reduced
crime rate, lowered substance abuse, and decreased teen suicide attempts in the U.S.
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In 2008, MOE adopted an SEL Framework (2008) (Figure 1) to develop confident, self-
directed learners who are concerned citizens and active contributors for tomorrow’s
world. The framework highlights three pillars:
1) Values which guide and provide the purpose for one’s behaviour as well as the
bearing of action which the schools need to teach.
2) Social Emotional Competencies (SECs) which are taught to students to ensure that
they acquire the skills, knowledge and dispositions that will enhance their
students’ learning and help them face future challenges.
3) School Culture and Environment which provides a safe environment for student
learning, inclusive of character building and citizenship; as school leaders, teachers
and significant adults are found to play significant roles in imparting the five SECs.
Figure 1. MOE Social Emotional Framework
It is timely that SUSS provides this course so that undergraduates in SUSS are able to
develop their social-emotional competencies and be confident, self-directed, active
and concerned citizens and contributors for tomorrow’s world.
The importance of instilling the SEC in students was further endorsed by Mr Heng
Swee Keat, the Minister of Education. At an opening address at the Humanities
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Educators’ Conference 2012, he stated that students have to acquire civic literacy,
global awareness, and cross-cultural skills to interact confidently and empathetically
with people of diverse backgrounds. He also added that critical thinking and creative
mind are essential for students to tackle new, emerging problems effectively.
Furthermore, SEL influences learning. Emotions affect how and what we learn.
According to Mayer and Salovey (2001), emotional and social processes are
fundamentally inseparable from cognitive processes, and they help us to prioritise,
decide, anticipate, plan and self-regulate (e.g. Setting Goals, Disposition, Behaviour).
If students are aware that they need to guard against their emotions (self-awareness)
as the effect may have repercussions on others (social awareness), they are likely to
attempt to self-manage their emotions so as to relate better with others and thereby
make responsible decisions.
The five overarching social emotional competencies (SECs) are as follows:
Self-awareness is the ability to recognise one’s own feelings, interests, values, beliefs
and strengths, maintaining an accurate level of self-efficacy.
Self-management is the ability to handle daily stresses and regulate one’s emotions
under difficult situations.
Social awareness is the ability to take others’ perspectives into account and to
empathise with them; recognising and appreciating the similarities and differences of
others, e.g. peers, family and the community at large.
Relationship management allows one to develop and maintain healthy relationships

with others, including the ability to resist negative social pressures, resolving
interpersonal conflicts and seeking help when needed.
Responsible decision making enables one to keep in mind multiple factors e.g. pros,
cons and consequences of your actions, ethics, standards, respect, and safety concerns
when making decisions.
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ACTIVITY 1.1
What is SEL and what can it do?
Watch this video-clip:
http://www.edutopia.org/daniel-goleman-social-emotional-learning-video (5.07)
(Acess link via Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, or Safari)
What skills do we need at the workplace?
Why does everyone need SEL?
1.4 What Are the Skills that I Need to Develop to Improve

My SECs?
Your insufficient self-knowledge of yourself may lead you to job-hop, fail to be

employed, or be self-employed. This lack of self-awareness of the skills that you have
and need may result in you being seen as indecisive. For example, Dolly switched
from a teaching job to a nursing job and finally ending up being an accounts clerk. She
was not aware that she was fearful of children until she started teaching so she decided
to quit the job. Subsequently, she quit nursing because she was not interested in
attending to sick people and using the syringe or seeing blood. She happily settled
with being an accounts clerk when she realised that she could use her strengths in
Maths to do her work. Fred, on the other hand, started an advertising company
without having a strong knowledge of advertising. Furthermore, he lacked creativity,
business sense, and other skills relevant to running a business. As such, his company
was closed shortly after it was opened. The moral of the story highlights the need for
us to be aware of your strengths, interests, and knowing the skills you need to improve
yourself. If you lack this self-awareness, there is a need for greater exposure through
community work or service learning to be conscious of your areas of needs as well as
the skills required for the job that you are interested in. If you have difficulty giving
time to that job, it may reflect the lack of passion in what you do. Unless you know
your strengths, interest and needs, you may continue to job hop aimlessly. If you are
aware that you lack relationship management skills, you may need to know the skills
you should acquire to improve yourself for a job fit. The table below is a list of skills
for developing your social-emotional competencies that you may be lacking in.
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Social Emotional Social Emotional Learning Skills Related to Each

Competencies Competency
Self-awareness Identifying and recognising emotions

Accurate self-perception
Recognising strengths, needs and values
Self-efficacy
Self- Impulse control and stress management
management Self-motivation and discipline
Goal-setting and organisation skills
Social Perspective-taking
Awareness Empathy
Appreciating diversity
Respect for others
a. Relationship Communication, social engagement and building
Management relationships
Working cooperatively
Negotiation, refusal and conflict management
Seeking and providing help
b. Responsible Problem identification and situation analysis
Decision-making Problem-solving
Evaluation and reflection
Personal, moral, and ethical responsibilities
Source: CASEL (2005)
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ACTIVITY 1.2
Awareness of Developing Specific SECs
Having identified the skills necessary for each of the Social Emotional Competencies
(SECs), what are the knowledge and skills you need to develop?
A given sample is listed below to assist you. If I wish to have better emotional control,
I need to recognise what triggers my anger, and develop self-control skills.
Identify two other specific SECs that you wish to develop.
c. Knowledge d. Skills e. Specific SECs
What triggers my anger? Self-control Skills Emotional Control

f. h. i.
g.
j. l. m.
k.
In summary, having understood the importance of developing social-emotional

competencies to equip you to face tomorrow’s world with greater confidence, you will
now view a video-clip and identify the social-emotional competencies of Spider-Man.
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ACTIVITY 1.3
Recognise the Five Core Social Emotional Competencies (SECs)
Watch the video clip: Boxing match scene of Spider-Man
(Synopsis: The video clip shows Spider-Man fighting in a match hoping to win $3,000/-.
However, he won the match 2mins instead of 3mins, and his boss gave him $100/-
instead.)
Reflect on the scenario in the video and answer the following questions:
n. SEC o. Questions
p. Self- 1. What was the emotional state of Spider-Man? Why do you
q. awareness say so?
r.
2. What can you learn from this scenario?
s.
t. Self- 3. Was Spider-Man conscious of his emotions? Why do you
management say so?
u.
4. How can you ensure that you are aware of your emotions?
v. Social 5. What are the likely consequences of letting the robber

Awareness escape?
Relationship 6. How would you have related to someone who treated you
Management unfairly?
Responsible
7. What would you do if you faced a similar situation like that of
Decision-
Spider-Man?
making
(Access video and answers via iStudyGuide)
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1. What is Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)?

2. What are the five social emotional competencies?
3. How are the SEL skills related to employability skills for the 21st Century?
4. Which TWO (2) social emotional competencies will assist your understanding of
global awareness and cross-cultural skills?
5. Which TWO (2) social emotional competencies will assist you in understanding
yourself and relating to others?
6. What are the social emotional competencies necessary for making responsible
decisions?
Ee, J. (2012). Websites for enhancing social emotional learning. In Ee, J. (Ed), Infusing
Thinking & Social Emotional Learning in Children & Youths. Singapore: Pearson
Education Asia. Part 1, Chapter 6, 46-49.
Merrell, K.W. & Gueldner, B.A. (2010). Social Emotional Learning in the Classroom:
Promoting Mental Health and Academic Success. New York: The Guilford Press.
Chapter 1.
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CHAPTER 2
UNDERSTANDING MYSELF
THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS
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Learning Outcomes
 develop conscious self-awareness

 identify one’s personal strengths and areas for improvement
 employ SMART goals
 identify one’s life purpose
Overview
This chapter will develop your self-awareness of areas that you may tend to place too
much concern on, and areas that you may have neglected. Through the assessment
tools, you will recognise your strengths and areas that may need improvement such
as your social emotional competencies, personality traits, character strengths, and
learning style. Subsequently, you are encouraged to set up SMART goals to improve
your areas of weakness and to reflect on your purpose in life. These activities are
generated to assist you to develop greater self-awareness of yourself so that you may
be more equipped in considering your career choices and direction in life.
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2.1 Introduction
In this rapidly changing, globalised landscape, how adequate are you in preparing
yourself for the unknown future ahead of you so that you can be confident, self-
directed, concerned citizen and active contributor to tomorrow’s world? Are you
conscious of your strengths, values, beliefs etc. to equip yourself with the right
knowledge, skills, attitudes and values to mould the next generation as you become
parents and worthy individuals in the community? This chapter will assist you to
understand the importance of developing your self-awareness and in identifying your
strengths, so that you will have a more accurate self-perception of yourself and
thereby able to match your strengths with the right career choice.
2.2 What Is Self-awareness?

Self-awareness includes skills in recognising one’s emotions and cultivating one’s
strengths and positive qualities. It includes a realistic assessment of one’s abilities, and
a well-grounded sense of self-confidence. This first level is representative of the
individual self and revolves around the level of knowing, that is, acquiring knowledge
within the parameters of facts and concepts. At this level, the individual may be able
to distinguish right from wrong. However, these are only factual knowledge, and
he/she has yet to demonstrate through his/her actions which are still very much
controlled and shaped by his/her innate abilities, cultural environment and
upbringing.
ACTIVITY 2.1
Creating Self-awareness
Watch this video-clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmJpc0EiYZc (1.14)
What percentage would you give yourself for self-awareness as you attempt to
answer the questions asked in the video?
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2.3 What Do You Need to Do to Be Self-aware?

Take time to reflect upon the questions below and try to answer them. That will give
you a better understanding of yourself.
What do you need to know about yourself?

• What triggers your anger?
• What are your strengths?
• What are your weaknesses?
• What values do you possess?
• What drives you?
• What are your prejudices/emotional bias?
• How can you be conscious of consistently engaging in ethical, safe and legal ways?
2.4 Advantages of Self-awareness?
The more self-aware you are, the more confident you will be of yourself. This is
because through greater exposure, your experience widens and you are likely to be
more accepting of others and open to experiences. This self-awareness will also help
you to be more accurate in assessing others. Thus, you are better at setting more
realistic goals and achieving them, and are more likely to have a better/positive view
of yourself. Indirectly, with greater self-awareness and experience, you are also able
to improve your self-confidence, which in turn leads to greater success in life.
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ACTIVITY 2.2
Knowing Your Strengths and Areas for Improvement

1) Complete the Assessment Tools to identify your strengths and areas for
improvement:
a) Social Emotional Competency Questionnaire
http://www.eejessie.blogspot.sg/p/blog-page.html
b) Personality Questionnaire
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer?req=MTF8MTI5N3w
1Njg1NjY2fDF8MQ==&refempt=
c) Character Strengths (Click on Login & register. Click on “VIA Survey of

Character Strengths” under the Questionnaires tab to access the questionnaire.)
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/home
d) Learning Style
http://www.edutopia.org/multiple-intelligences-learning-styles-quiz
e) Self-esteem
http://www.wwnorton.com/college/psych/psychsci/media/rosenberg.htm
2) Complete the table by listing your strengths and weaknesses in the respective
columns. Then, consider ways you intend to use your strengths to overcome your
areas of weaknesses.
Questionnaire Strengths Weaknesses Ways you intend to

overcome your
weaknesses
SELQ
Personality
Character
Strengths
Learning
Style
Self-esteem
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2.5 Setting Goals
Goal setting helps you to focus your effort in achieving what you set to achieve
without being distracted. Indirectly, it helps you to organise your time and resources
more effectively in anticipation of the objectives you have set.
The first step in setting goals is to consider what you want to achieve, whether it is
short-term or long-term goals. Your goals may be related to improving yourself or
others and may relate to your career (e.g. to be a principal in five years’ time), attitude
(e.g. to develop better self-control), family (e.g. how to be a good parent), financial
situation (e.g. to shop on what I need and not what I desire) or physique (e.g. to slim
down). Goals are often not achieved if you have conflicting goals (e.g. you want to
slim down, but you enjoy good food), or you plan poorly and lack monitoring or
regulating your goals.
A useful way of making effective and achievable goals is to plan and use the SMART
mnemonic. SMART stands for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely.
 S – Specific goals tend to answer the six “W” questions

*Who: Who is involved?
*What: What do I want to accomplish it?
*Where: Identify a location.
*When: Establish a time frame.
*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
Example: if the general goal is “to get in shape”, then the specific goal would be
“by going to the gym to work out three days a week.”
 M – Measurable goal is establishing concrete criteria e.g. How much? How many?
How will I know when it is accomplished?
Example: “To slim down by 10kg by going to the gym to work out three days a
week.”
 A – Attainable to ensure that the goal is achievable and practical to attain.
week for one month.”
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 R – Realistic goals are to ensure that you are both willing and able to achieve the
goal and make substantial progress.
week with 100% success”
 T – Timely goal should be grounded within a time frame.
week for one month with 100% success.”
ACTIVITY 2.3
Setting SMART Goals
Set two SMART goals to improve on two of your weaknesses.
2.6 Awareness of Your Purpose in Life
Life is meaningful only when a person is driven by a goal that is guiding him/her. It
is important to be able to see the vision at the end of the tunnel. A sense of purpose
provides the undying passion and steadfast commitment to do what you need to do.
It gives you goals worthy to strive for. If you lack self-awareness, reflect on your
strengths and interests with those whom you highly respect and wish to model after.
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ACTIVITY 2.4
Identify Your Purpose in Life
Name a famous person (can be local or international, alive or dead) in real life whom
you respect.
1. What did/do this person do to earn your respect?
2. Why did/do this person do what he/she did?
3. What would you say is his/her “purpose in life”?
4. Take time to reflect on your strengths, beliefs and values. What do you think is
your purpose in life? If you have difficulty answering the question, maybe you
would like to reflect upon the effect of your hero’s/heroine’s life on others. How
would you apply what you learnt, so that you can leave a legacy with others when
you leave this world?
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ACTIVITY 2.5
My Self-Disclosed T-Shirt
One thing I am I value

proud of myself is My favourite food is My favourite song is
My Self-Disclosed T-Shirt
My strengths are I will make time for

(name activity or subject)
One area I would like to I like to be remembered

improve on is for
I am driven or motivated One hot button word that

by will trigger my anger is
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In summary, this module has attempted to assist you to develop greater self-
awareness. Therefore, it is easier to complete your Activity 2.5: Self-disclosure T-shirt.
1. What is self-awareness?
2. What are some skills essential in developing self- awareness?
3. Jane is not aware of her strengths and interests. She seems to change her jobs
every few months. How would you assist Jane?
Tan. Y. J. (2012). Developing teachers’ social emotional competencies. In Ee, J. (Ed),

Infusing Thinking & Social Emotional Learning in Children & Youths. Singapore:
Pearson Education Asia. Part 1, Chapter 1, 3-12.
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CHAPTER 3
MANAGING AND REGULATING
EMOTIONS
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Learning Outcomes
 recognise that everyone has varying emotions based on individual differences

 discuss how emotions affect cognition and behaviour
 discuss relevant strategies for managing negative emotions and promoting
realistic, analytical and innovative thinking
 develop constructive ways to express emotions
Overview
This chapter will assist you to recognise your emotions and that of others. Through
neurobiology, you will understand the relationship among your emotions, thoughts
and actions. As one’s emotions may differ because of personal experiences, cultural
background and level of confidence, there is always a need to be conscious of both
your emotions and others’, so that your actions are ethical and morally right. Relevant
strategies to cope with negative emotions will be discussed so that you are able to be
less impulsive, more reflective in responding positively and constructively in your
feedback, and in making life’s choices. Constructive positive ways will also be
considered when expressing your emotions.
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3.1 What Is Self-management?
Self-management is the ability to take control of one’s emotions and be forward-

looking, exercise self-control, show flexible thinking, and maintain composure and
positive thinking when confronted with life’s challenges. In the process, the ability to
regulate your emotions will facilitate, rather than interfere with the task at hand to
pursue your goals and encourage perseverance in the face of setbacks and frustrations.
3.2 What Does Neurobiology Have to Say about the

Relationship among Our Cognition, Emotions and Behaviour?
Evidence from neurobiological theories indicated that metacognition plays a part in

the development of one’s social-emotional competencies (SECs) as well. Many
preventive interventions (Greenberg, 2006) supported the central role of the Executive
Functions (EF) and the actions of the prefrontal lobes in improving emotion regulation
and problem-solving skills. EF generally refers to the psychological processes that are
involved in the conscious control of one’s thinking. Examples of processes include
inhibition, future time orientation, consequential thinking and the planning, initiation,
and regulation of goal-directed behaviour, which are closely related to the different
aspects of metacognition. Riggs, Jahromi, Razza, Dillworth-Bart and Mueller (2006)
summarised various researches linking EF and SECs, and emphasised that EF is
essential to SEL intervention models.
Most recent, the rapidly advancing field of neurobiology has begun to support the
ideas of many of its theoretical predecessors. To understand how to achieve optimal
emotional intelligence, it is important to understand the limbic system surrounding
one’s brain stem. The thalamus receives information through receptors (e.g. nerve
cells) which are decoded and analysed, while the hypothalamus receives signals from
the body and involves in regulation of drives (e.g. sleep, sexuality, appetite). Both
these structures relay information to the amygdala which is involved with the
neurobiology of emotions liken to body’s “alarm system”. The amygdala is a structure
with extensive connections to the brain areas thought to underlie cognitive functions,
such as sensory cortices, the hippocampal complex, and the prefrontal cortex (Young
et al. 1994). Because of its broad connectivity, the amygdala is ideally situated to
influence cognitive functions in reaction to emotional stimuli. Consistent with this,
recent research suggested that a primary function of the human amygdala is the
modulation of neural systems underlying cognitive and social behaviour in response
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to emotional cues (Anderson & Phelps, 2000, Whalen, 1998). Brain research has
become yet another field in which scientists argue that social and emotional
interactions and functioning are paramount to what is learnt (Jensen, 2005; Zull, 2002).
Current brain research suggests that individuals not only come into an environment
with pre-existing SECs, they also continue to construct these competencies throughout
their lives whether by explicitly teaching them or not (Jensen, 2005; Zull, 2002). When
powerful emotions are experienced under emotional stress (e.g. fear, anger), the
amygdala imprints this memory with an added degree of strength, resulting in
emotional charged. Many childhood experiences are emotionally charged (e.g.
traumatic experiences) and this may have long-term impact on behaviour. When an
association is made with the present environment, it causes one to re-experience these
emotional memories in the present, resulting in profound effects on current
relationships.
3.3 How Do Emotions Affect One’s Thoughts and Actions?
According to Sylvester (1995), emotional and social processes are fundamentally

inseparable from cognitive processes. Mayer and Salovey (2001) maintained that
emotions help prioritise, decide, anticipate and plan one’s actions. Zin et al. (2004)
found that metacognition is a good mediator for enhancing one’s social emotional
competencies as metacognition is thinking about thinking. The more one is aware of
his/her thinking processes as he/she reflects, the more he/she can control his/her goals,
dispositions and actions or behaviour. Therefore, as emotions can affect one’s
thoughts and actions, there is a need to:
- recognise and identify one’s emotions
- understand and take control of one’s emotions and note the stage one is in
- be conscious of one’s thinking processes
- ensure that one translates his/her emotions and thoughts in a positive manner
Emotions can be accompanied by either positive feelings (e.g. happiness, excitement,

peace, and tranquility) or negative feelings (e.g. anger, sadness, pain, denial, panic,
anxiety or disappointment), and this in turn may translate one’s thoughts and actions.
Therefore, one needs to be conscious of his/her emotions and address his/her thoughts,
so that his/her actions will not be negative.
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ACTIVITY 3.1
Understanding Your Emotions
Watch the video-clip with title ‘Emotion Management - Second Step Middle School
Program’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMtooRvyRUk
Synopsis: A young man was angry over a rumour that was spread about him. Watch
how he attended to his anger and took control of it.
1. Which word signal did the host use to attend to his anger in the video after pausing?
2. After you’ve sent a signal to yourself to pause the action, you need to think twice
and ask yourself some questions. What did the host say in the video?
(Access answers via iStudyGuide)
3.4 Recognising and Identifying One’s Emotions
In order to effectively manage one’s emotions, one must first learn to accurately
recognise and identify them. Some people ignore their emotional reactions, e.g. when
they lost their spouses or had a break-up. Their denial of their emotions may reflect
their lack of self-awareness of this great loss. As such, one may not be able to use one’s
emotions constructively or productively, e.g. the one who lost his/her spouse, may be
in the state of denial and the one who broke up, may be experiencing “love sickness”.
Another group who may have difficulty regulating their intense emotions, e.g. anger,
and may not be able to manage their emotions positively, may result even in crimes
of passion, etc. Both types of people have trouble recognising, identifying and
managing their emotions.
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ACTIVITY 3.2
Recognising and Identifying Your Emotions
Describe a situation that makes you really angry each time it happens.
_________________________________________________________________
Notice your physical and mental signs. What other signs of anger have you noticed
when you are angry?
 feeling hot  feeling hot in the face  sweating palms
 heart racing  feeling flustered  feeling like you can’t get your words
out
 hard to breathe  tight muscles  breathing heavily, hyperventilating
Add other signs here: ______________________________________________
Pause. Use your signal.
Write down one or two word signals to use.
________________________________________________________________
Think twice. Use your brain.
Write one question to help you think more clearly.
________________________________________________________________
Why is it important to pause and think twice?
________________________________________________________________
(The language / rational / thinking part of your brain is activated so that your emotions
do not take control, and you do not end up doing something you will regret
later.)
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Besides being aware of one’s emotions and being able to identify and recognise them,
it is also important to take a step back like in the video and request to “get a grip” of
the situation. This will allow one to reflect on the situation and not act impulsively
and regret afterwards. However, one must be aware that different people respond in
different ways to the same situation, because their experiences, cultural backgrounds
or levels of self-confidence differ. The following activity shows how each person
differs in their responses to the same situation.
ACTIVITY 3.3
Recognising Everyone’s Emotions Differ
Identify your emotions for the following scenarios
Scenario 1: Your best friend invites your neighbour to a party but not you.
Scenario 2: Your friend spreads a rumour that you do not have integrity.
Scenario 3: At a staff meeting, your boss seeks your comment about how there could
be better employee-management relationships. Everyone stops talking and listens to
see what you will say, especially when you are new to the organisation.
You may select the emotions below to address the above scenarios.
Happy Scared Worried Angry Sad

Elated Terrified Uneasy Annoyed Depressed
Contented Startled Concerned Irritated Downcast
Pleased Upright Insecure Furious Disappointed
Excited Alarmed Anxious Offended Discontented
Interested Unnerved Nervous Questioning Gloomy
Energised Nervous Uncertain Cross Wretched
Animated Desperate Bothered Unhappy Inferior
Thrilled On edge Fretful Resentful Miserable
What can you learn from this activity?
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3.5 How Emotions Reflect One’s Actions or Behaviour

• A person’s thoughts and emotions affect his/her behaviours.
• Positive thoughts often lead to success but they will not work miracles.
• Working hard and accepting responsibilities are essential to success.
The activity below will help us recognise the relationship among our thoughts,
emotions and actions.
ACTIVITY 3.4
Recognising the Relationship among Emotions, Thoughts and Actions
Ms Lim was waiting for a taxi to take her home. When the taxi arrived, the driver
stopped to pick up a foreigner who arrived at the taxi-stand later than her. She was
upset, thinking: “He has no right to take that taxi!”.
1. How would it affect Ms Lim’s emotions and actions?
Thought Emotion Action
He has no right to take

that taxi!
2. How would you assist Ms Lim to regulate her thinking positively? If so, what
would her subsequent emotions and actions be?
Thought Emotion Action
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 What are some reasons why a person sometimes has negative thoughts when
he/she could have more positive ones?
 Can a person choose to think positively towards certain situations? Why or why
not?
 What are some of the concepts you have learnt about thoughts and emotions?
 How can you improve your situation when you have negative thoughts?
3.6 How to Take Control of Our Emotions
As human beings, we are all emotional beings. We may face stressful situations
whether at home, school, workplace or in the community. Our emotions may be more
tolerated at home and in school. However, as adults in the workplace or in the
community, it can be less acceptable. In the workplace, you may have worked very
hard on a project with a friend, only to find your friend is laid off and you are
overloaded to do his share of the work as well. This added stress may cause us to
scream. How do we handle our emotions and manage them productively? If we are
focusing on negative emotions, we need strategies to change them to positive
emotions. Perceiving the situation positively (e.g. here’s my chance to multi-task and
showcase my strengths) will generate feelings of joy, excitement or optimism,
resulting in the ability to share our positive emotions constructively and
professionally in the workplace. However, if we are not able to think positively or
optimistically, we need to do the following:
• Think of a way to calm down

- Doing something physically active
- Doing something relaxing
- Thinking about something else
- Using centred breathing
- Using positive talk
• Recognise and identify the emotion you are feeling
• Reflect and think of a positive thought and action so that you can get your
emotions under control
• Do what is most helpful for yourself and others
• Communicate your emotions clearly to others
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What happens when we have to make a decision while we are experiencing strong
emotions?
Our minds are powerful. People may forgive our actions but if we do not forgive
ourselves, that may be detrimental. Sometimes our minds, especially our self-beliefs,
may be quite obtrusive especially when we have experienced much failure, as we are
less likely to believe that we can succeed in our performance. If so, we may need to
change our thinking:
• Think we can succeed and believe you can, e.g. “I can succeed.”
• Affirm and think aloud, “I will succeed.”
• Believe that we can succeed by setting SMART goals to achieve it
• Regulate and monitor your progress to fulfill your goal.
Even when you know everyone does not think you can succeed, it is not your business.
Your business is just to stay focused, strategise and organise your plan so that you can
see the successful outcome.
Alternatively, we may be exposed to daily situations that may frustrate or anger us

when our friends disappoint us.
For example: A friend borrowed your favourite CD last week and lost it. Now she
asks if she can borrow another one. Your immediate response may be:
“No way!” You’ve got to be kidding!”
We may be upset, angered, frustrated and concerned about losing another CD.
How would you communicate?
“When you borrow my CDs and don’t return them, I worry about losing them. Give me some
time to decide whether I want to keep loaning them out.”
1. IDENTIFY the decision to be made

e.g. Should you lend your friend another CD?
2. THINK about your options and reject any that could lead to trouble.
Possible Options:
• Tell your friend you are not lending her anything again.
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• Lend her another CD.

• Try to avoid giving her an answer
• Ask her to replace the CD she lost before you lend her another one.
3. USE QUESTIONS to eliminate negative options and make responsible decision

• Is it against the law, school rules or the teachings of my religion?
• Is it harmful to me or to others?
• Would it disappoint my family or even other important adults?
• Is it wrong to do?
• Would I be hurt or upset if someone did this to me?
4. PREDICT the consequences of positive options

Option: Lend her another CD
Advantage: She would be happy.
Disadvantage: She might be careless with this CD too.
Option: Ask her to replace the CD she lost before you lend her another one.
Advantage: You get your CD back, and maybe your friend would be more
careful with your belongings.
Disadvantage: Your friend might me angry with you.
Choose the best course of action.

- Seek a significant adult for advice if you are undecided about the options.
- Rethink the consequences of your actions again if your friend were to lose
another of your CDs.
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3.7 Translating and Expressing Negative Emotions in

Positive Ways
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of
sorrow”
Chinese proverb
PUT-DOWNS
INQUIRY: A put-down I once said to someone was:
You are stupid!
ASSUMPTION:
To feel good about myself, I must try to make other people feel bad about
themselves.
Investigating Procedures PROVEN BELIEF

 Rewrite assumption into a proven I don’t have to try to make others feel bad
belief about themselves in order to feel good
 Change thoughts about myself. I have many other better
 Change behaviour choices.
SELF-TALK
Statements I make to myself that Statements I make to myself that influence
influence me to put down others: me to build up others:
How can he not see the solution? Maybe he is stressed, and therefore failed
to see from another perspective!
Helping others to feel good!
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BEING PRESSURISED
INQUIRY: A time I gave into pressure was:
I want to be with the “in-group”!
ASSUMPTION:
I must give in to pressure to be cool and to be liked by everyone, or it will feel awful.
 Rewrite assumption into a proven I believe that I am cool. I can make my
belief own choices and know that true friends
 Change thoughts will respect them.
 Change behaviour
SELF-TALK
influence me to give in to pressure: me to take pride in my own choices:
I can rely on my own skills and

I need to follow them or else they may capabilities.
not include me or like me! I am better off without such a friend, as a
true friend will have my interest at heart
and respect my decision.
Recognise and appreciate your strengths!
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UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
INQUIRY: A time I felt that I had to be perfect was
I want to score 100% accuracy in my Maths.

ASSUMPTION:
If I am not always perfect, it is awful. I will never succeed so why bother to try.

 Rewrite assumption into a proven I can do my best.
belief
 Change thoughts
SELF-TALK
influence me to want to be perfect: me to want to learn from mistakes:
I need to get better scores than my I don’t need to compare myself with
friends. others. As long as I have done my best that
is all that matters. Making mistakes is part
of the learning process.
Do what you can do!
Note: It is important to reflect on assumptions and attempt to understand the reasons

that caused you to make such an assumption. Then, take positive steps to improve
your belief system and consider using positive statements from your current
improved positive belief system. You will find that it can be easy to convert your
negative thoughts to positive self-talk if you are positive and confident, and have a
better perception of yourself and others.
Alternatively, you may wish to use “What, why and how” to change your negative
thoughts to address the issue in a more positive manner.
WHAT: Name what behaviour is bothering you and what you feel
WHY: Explain why this is bothering you.
HOW: Say how you would like the other person to behave instead.
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Situation: A friend keeps borrowing money and forgets to pay you back.
WHAT: When you (behaviour) _______________ I feel ________________

WHY: because _________________________________
HOW: I wish (or I want you to) ____________________________________
When I lend you money and you don’t pay me back, I feel frustrated because now I
don’t have any lunch money and I am hungry. I wish you would pay me back the day
after you borrow money.
ACTIVITY 3.5
Changing Negative Self-Talk to Positive Self-Talk
a) Complete this activity based on a time that you got angry.
ANGER
INQUIRY: A time I got angry was
ASSUMPTION:
It is awful, and I must get angry when things don’t go the way I want them to.
 Rewrite assumption into a proven Sometimes I would like situations to be
belief different, but I can deal with them calmly
 Change thoughts or let them go.
SELF-TALK
influence me to get angry: me to want to seek solutions:
Look for a positive solution!
b) Write down a positive statement for each scenario without the given table above.
You may use the above procedure or the “why, what and how” method.
Situation: Your sister embarrasses you in front of your friends.

___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
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Situation: Ms Lim was waiting for a taxi to take her home. When the taxi arrived,
the driver stopped to pick up a foreigner who arrived at the taxi-stand
later than her. She was upset, thinking: “He has no right to take that taxi!”.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
3.8 What Are Some Helpful Coping Strategies for Stress and
Anxiety?
Affect / b. Expression of feelings to others through song, poetry,

Feelings communication, writing or drawing, e.g. “I tell my best friend whom
a. I trust when I feel sad.”
c.
Beliefs and d. Belief in God or someone or something, or one’s beliefs about what
Values is right or wrong and about the self, e.g. “I believe that I have the
ability to solve the problem even though they say that I will fail.”
e.
Cognition g. Use rational thinking and learn from past experiences, e.g. “I think
f. of how I have overcome similar difficulties in the past when I feel
disappointed with myself.”
h.
Imagination Use positive and creative ways to solve problems or use your
i. imagination to relax, e.g. “I think of the rainbow at the end of the
road.”
Physiology Engage in physical and relaxation exercises, e.g. jogging, walking,

swimming, etc.
Social k. Being in the company of others, e.g. “I have tea and I window-shop
j. with my friends when I am sad.”
l.
m.
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ACTIVITY 3.6
Coping with Stress and Anxiety in Life

Take some time to reflect on events that bring you joy or stress in your life. How did
you cope with these events? Having completed Chapter 3, how would you have
handled similar situations?
1. Draw a horizontal line which represents your life from the time you were born to
this current moment.
2. Mark with a vertical line on your lifeline important or significant events which
have happened, e.g. sibling was born, grandparents passed away, sibling’s
marriage, failed in examinations, went on a trip abroad, etc. For the happy events,
mark above the lifeline, and mark below the lifeline for sad events. You may
choose to represent these significant events either by writing or drawing.
___________________________________________________________________________
At Birth To Date
3. Reflect on the scenarios where you experienced negative emotions (options from
table).
a. How did you overcome those situations? What coping strategies were used?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
b. How would you have coped with such challenges?

____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
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1. What is self-management?
2. What does neurobiology have to say about the relationship among cognition,
emotions and behaviour?
3. How can emotions affect behaviour? Provide an example.
4. What are some reasons why sometimes negative thoughts emerge when you could
have more positive ones?
5. What are some of the things you have learnt about thoughts and emotions?
6. How can you improve your situation if you have negative thoughts?
7. How can you take control of your emotions?
8. How do you translate and express your negative thoughts and emotions in a
positive way? Provide an example.
9. What strategies can be used to calm you down?
10. What are some helpful coping strategies for stress, anxiety and loss?
11. What is one negative emotion that you experienced? What coping strategies did
you use to overcome your negative emotions and thoughts?
Ee, J. (2012). Enhancing children’s self-management of their emotions and behaviours.

In Ee, J. (Ed), Infusing Thinking & Social Emotional Learning in Children & Youths.
Singapore: Pearson Education Asia. Part 1, Chapter 2, 12-17.
Websites on Coping with Anger

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/index.aspx
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102
Websites on Coping with Depression

http://www.apa.org/topics/depress/index.aspx
Website on Coping with Anxiety

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201210/coping-anxiety
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Websites on Coping with Fear

http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Fear
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/dealing-with-
fears.aspx
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CHAPTER 4
DEVELOPING AND PROMOTING
SOCIAL AWARENESS
COU104 CHAPTER 4
Learning Outcomes
 apply empathy and perspective-taking

 demonstrate social awareness in communication
 develop social awareness to reduce prejudices
 execute mediation skills in conflict resolutions
Overview
This chapter will assist you to understand the importance of tuning in to others -
respecting their views and perspectives, and placing yourself in the shoes of the others,
with different expectations, beliefs and experiences. It also highlights that if there is
greater empathy, perspective-taking, active listening and effective communication,
one will develop a more caring and concerned society for tomorrow.
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4.1 What Is Social Awareness and Why Is It Important?
Social Awareness involves the active process of seeking out information about what
is happening in the communities around us, e.g. recognise what others are thinking
and feeling; understand their emotions, needs and concerns, show compassion and
appreciation; understand our social norms and problems, etc. In doing so, we have a
wider perspectives and are able to recognise and interact positively with diverse
groups.
This is especially important in this global, Internet age that we are living in. We are
surrounded with various nationalities, and the need to appreciate diversity is essential.
Social awareness skills form the basis of community building. When one feels safe to
speak up in an environment that is empathetic, supportive and nurturing, he/she is
more likely to adopt societal norms, respect the rules, and apply them. For example,
in a home environment, if a parent is empathetic, nurturing, supportive, and
encourages their children to understand others by putting themselves in others’ shoes,
the children may be more likely to exercise perspective taking in seeing the world.
Thus, they will be more daring to take on risks, academic challenges, and perceive
mistakes as a learning process when they are aware that they can turn to their
significant, adults for support and progress. They will share without fear to learn more
spontaneously to be confident, active and concerned citizens of tomorrow. Similarly,
in the work environment, employees are likely to be motivated to walk the extra mile
even if it takes risks, if they are able to see that their employers are supportive,
understanding and appreciative.
4.2 How Does One Develop Social Awareness?
a) Improve listening skills
The ability to exercise active listening

 To listen actively and to understand the other party’s point of view
 To take in information without passing judgements
 Allowing for freedom in expressing emotions and problems
b) Pay close attention when interacting with others
Being aware of changes in body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, what
the other party says, how they say it, and what they do.
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c) Identify others’ emotional states
Listen carefully to what they are saying. Notice how they respond to external
events such as greeting others or asking them to do things.
d) Reflect on your own feelings
How does the other person’s emotions make you feel?
 Be conscious to recognise the different points of views, e.g. in the political

scenario, how are people working in the environment affected, the employers’
perspectives, the ethical issues related to the scenario, etc. Be conscious if you
are being objective in your views.
e) Responding accurately to others’ feelings, emotions and moods with our non-
verbal gestures
e.g. positive eye contact, leaning forward, relaxed posture
f) Think before you answer
The ability to communicate effectively demonstrating empathy
 Listen for feelings

 Paraphrase the speaker’s words
 Hear the speaker’s expression and tone of voice, keeping an open mind without
being judgemental or interruptive. Empathise with the speaker through
checking for understanding by paraphrasing, summarising or reviewing.
4.3 How Can We Nurture Social Awareness and

Communicate or Mediate for Others?
1. Introduction
 Introduce yourself to the disputants.
 Establish rapport with the disputants and explain to them what the
mediation process is all about e.g. “I am Ms X. Both of you seem to be upset over
the issue. May I assist by establishing a common understanding?”
 Ensures that the disputants agree to the ground rules
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For example:
o Do not interrupt
o Tell the truth
o No name-calling or put-downs
o Work to solve the problem
2. Define and Explore the Problem
Allow disputants to take turns to share their perspectives on the problem.

e.g. Can you tell me what happened?
Ask open-ended questions to find out how the disputants are feeling.
e.g. How do you feel?
Assist disputants to see each others’ perspectives.

e.g. How do you feel? How do you think A felt when this happened?
Ask more questions to better understand the problem/situation.

e.g. Is there anything else that you would like to share with me regarding this problem?
3. Look for Solutions
Bring disputants back to the point before the conflict occurred.

e.g. What could you have done differently?
Seek to know how disputants would react if they are given the opportunity to start
all over again in order to prevent the conflict.
e.g. What can you do right now to help solve the problem?
Brainstorm with disputants on the possible solutions.

e.g. Is there anything that needs to be done to help make the solution better?
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4. Agree on a Solution
Check that both disputants are agreeable to the proposed solution.
e.g. Do you both agree to the solution that you have just indicated that you would be happy
with?
Ensure that no rules are broken, and that no one is physically or emotionally hurt.
e.g. So are we all agreeable to this solution which is to …….(describe the solution)?
Get both disputants to agree to the time-frame to act on the solution.
e.g. Do we need a timeline to carry out the solutions that we have agreed upon? If
so, when do you think we can get started?
ACTIVITY 4.1
Social Awareness is Tuning in to Other People
Watch this video-clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh2NhI7_eGw (2.16)
What can you learn?
ACTIVITY 4.2
Roots of Empathy
Read this article:

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
What can you learn?
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ACTIVITY 4.3
Active Listening
Read the following scenario:
You worked with Alice and other colleagues on a project. One morning, you
approached Mr Tan, feeling very upset. “What am I supposed to do about Alice? As
a project leader, she just throws work to the other members to do. I have spoken to
her, but she won’t listen. I am swamped with work and I don’t see her doing her part
to help out in the project.”
In your opinion, which of the possible responses by Mr Tan below would best
represent active listening? Why or Why not?
a. Mr Tan says, “I’m sorry to hear about that, but I am rushing off for a meeting.”
b. Mr Tan says, “I’ll talk to Alice about it.”
c. Mr Tan says, “It sounds like this is really frustrating to you.”
d. Mr Tan says, “Are you worried that you are unable to cope with your work?”
e. Mr Tan says, “That’s so simple. Just complain to the boss about it. Problem solved.”
f. Mr Tan’s eyes are shifting from you to his watch, and then back again to you when
you speak.
g. Mr Tan, “Don’t worry. I am sure it will work out eventually.”
4.4 Develop Social Awareness to Reduce Prejudices
Prejudice is groundless and unwarranted. It usually tends to have a negative attitude

towards members of a group. While specific definitions of prejudice given by social
scientists often differ, most of them agree that it involves prejudgments (usually
negative) about members of a group. The types of prejudices may include age, gender,
race, nationality, socio-economic status, religion and even sexual orientation.
When prejudice occurs, stereotyping and discrimination may also result. In many
cases, prejudices are based upon stereotypes or a simplified assumption about a group.
It may be positive (e.g. “Old folks are more experienced.”) or negative (e.g. “Old folks
are slow.”). These stereotypes can lead to faulty beliefs.
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Some of the causes of prejudice may be due to fear, ignorance or not liking someone
of a different group. There is also the possibility of wanting to feel more superior than
the other group or to keep status quo. Prejudice may result in more segregation of
groups which may be harmful to everyone.
Researchers (Allport, 1954; Pious, 2003) have explored ways to reduce or eliminate
prejudices. Training people to become more empathetic towards members of other
groups is one method that has proven to work. If people are able to imagine
themselves in similar situations, they will be able to think about how they would react
and gain a greater understanding of others’ actions. Indirectly, it is important to create
greater social awareness or expressions of empathy, so that people can relate to and
understand the other groups more positively. Other ways of reducing prejudices
include making people aware of anti-prejudice social norms, or helping them to be
more conscious about the inconsistencies of their prejudices. Passing laws and
regulations that require fair and equal treatment for all groups of people may be
another alternative.
How conscious are we regarding our prejudices?
The activity below will help you to go on-line to assess your prejudices and
preferences. This is to help you to be aware of your prejudices and beliefs, so that
they will not distort your ability to understand other people. Do make a conscious
decision to set your prejudices and preferences aside, and minimise their influence on
your relationships with other people, be it at home, workplace or within a certain
community.
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ACTIVITY 4.4
What are Your Prejudices?
Each of us, because of our personal experiences, carries biases and prejudices into our
professions. Some of our values, beliefs and assumptions are so ingrained that we are
usually unaware of them. Consequently, we will generalise about certain groups of
people and create stereotypes. If we trick ourselves into believing these subjective
opinions are true facts, we may not be helping ourselves and others.
This online quiz is to help you determine your familiarity with, and acceptance of
people who are unlike you. Treat the result as a guide to your prejudices.
(The quiz can be accessed via iStudyGuide.)
1. What is social awareness?

2. How can you develop social awareness?
3. How can you nurture social awareness, and communicate or mediate for others?
4. Identify and explain how TWO (2) socialemotional competencies can assist you
to reduce your prejudices.
Chapter 5.
Tan, P. I. J. (2012). Using service-learning to enhance social emotional competencies.

In Ee, J. (Ed), Infusing Thinking & Social Emotional Learning in Children &
Youths. Singapore: Pearson Education Asia. Part 1, Chapter 5, 36-43.
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CHAPTER 5
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
COU104 CHAPTER 5
Learning Outcomes
 identify the factors that can impact relationships

 discuss ways of building and maintaining healthy relationships
 apply the SOLVED approach with interpersonal problems
 managing conflict resolution in constructive ways
Overview
This chapter identifies factors that are obstacles to harmonious relationship as well as
the crucial skills necessary for developing healthy relationships. Activities are also
provided for students to practise I-messages in communication and identify the
relevant skills necessary in resolving conflict.
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5.1 What Is Relationship Management?
Relationship management involves the effective handling of one’s emotions in

his/her interactions with others, establishing and maintaining healthy and rewarding
relationships based on cooperation, resistance to inappropriate social pressure,
negotiating solutions to conflict, and seeking help when needed.
These two levels co-exist and they are also known as the affective level where an
individual applies the knowledge he/she has acquired. Both levels are important in
social situations and academic environments. Those who are unable to manage
themselves and their relationships might engage in socially inappropriate behaviour
as well as the inability to think clearly and perform well academically.
Relationship management plays an important role in leadership, friendship, family

life, career life, team work, teacher-pupil relationship, parent-child relationship,
school-parent relationship and working partnership. Effective and open
communication promotes an awareness of others interests and needs. Being aware of
the necessary skills that will encourage open communication is important when
working with others.
5.2 What Are the Obstacles to Harmonious Relationships?
1. Prejudice
2. Aggression
3. Afraid of losing face
4. “If you are my friend” expectations
5. “I” or “me” mentality
6. Must-win mindset
7. “I am your senior” attitude
8. One-track “individual rights” or
“principles”
9. Nepotism
10. Taking advantage of others
11. Having wrong values / attributes
12. Putting others down
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Gordon (2009) identified twelve communication roadblocks that prevent adults from
relating to their children. This may also happen in the office between the employer
and the employee. They further explain how communication may be obstacles in
harmonious relationships.
1. Ordering, Directing, Commanding: The words may be very authoritarian, and

may carry an overt or covert threat of an impending consequences if the advice is
not taken.
“Don’t say that”

“You’ve got to face up to reality.”
“Go right back there and tell her you’re sorry!”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself!”
2. Warning, Threatening: The words may sound like a threat that must be carried
out or a bad outcome may be predicted if it is not complied.
"If you don’t start treating him better, you’ll lose him.”
“You'll never make friends if..."
“You’re really asking for trouble when you do that.”
“You’d better listen to me or you’ll be sorry.”
3. Moralising, Preaching: An underlying moral code is invoked, e.g. “should” or

“ought” to communicate with proper conduct to be followed.
"You shouldn't feel that way..."

"Patience is a virtue you should learn..."
“You really ought to …”
“It’s your duty as a ………to ………….”
4. Advising, Giving Solutions: Here the individual draws on her/his own

knowledge and experience to recommend a course of action.
"What I would do is...",

"Why don't you..."
"Let me suggest..."
“Have you tried …?”
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5. Persuading with Logic, Arguing: The assumption may suggest that the person has
not adequately thought it through, and needs help to do so.
"Here is why you are wrong..."

"The facts are that …..."
"Yes, but..."
“Let’s think this through ….”
6. Judging, Criticising, Blaming: The common denominator here is the implication

that there is something wrong with the person or with what he/she said.
"You are not thinking maturely..."

"You are just lazy..."
"Maybe you started the fight first..."
“It’s your own fault.”
7. Praising, Approving, Agreeing: This kind of message gives a sanction or approval

to what has been said, and may stop the communication process as it may imply
an uneven relationship between the speaker and listener. True listening is
different from approving and does not require approval.
"Well, I think you're doing a great job!"

"You're right!--that teacher sounds awful."
“I think you are absolutely right …”
“You’re a good ….”
8. Name-calling, Shaming, Labeling, Ridiculing: Here the disapproval is more

overt, and is directed at the individual in the hope of shaming or correcting a
behaviour or attitude.
"Cry baby--",
"That's stupid to worry about one low test grade."
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“That’s really stupid.”
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9. Analysing, Diagnosing: This is a very common and tempting one for counsellors
to seek out the hidden meaning for the person and give your own interpretation.
"What's wrong with you is..."

"You're just tired."
"What you really mean is..."
“You’re just trying to make me look bad.”
10. Reassuring, Sympathising: The intent is usually to help the person feel better. It
may be a roadblock because it interferes with the spontaneous flow of
communication.
"Don't worry."
"You'll feel better."
"Oh, cheer up!"
“There, there, it’s not all that bad.”
11. Questioning, Probing: The intent is to probe further. However, it may be

perceived that the questioner is rushing to solve the problem and interfering with
the flow of the communication. This may come across as being insensitive to the
person in question, and may prevent further communication.
"Why?"
"Who?"
"What did you...?"
"How...?"
12. Diverting, Sarcasm, Withdrawal: The intent is to “take the person’s mind off it”.
This will divert communication and implies that what the person was saying is not
important or should not be pursued.
"Let's talk about pleasant things..."

“I hear it’s going to be a nice day tomorrow.”
"Why don't you try running the world!?"
Remaining silent, turning away
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COU104 CHAPTER 5
5.3 What Are the Crucial Skills in Maintaining Relationships?
1. Listen with discernment

2. Compassion
3. Empathy/perspective taking
4. Social cognition/adaptability
5. Self-awareness of own emotions
6. Self-awareness of others’ emotions
7. Self-management skills
8. Communication skills
9. Respect for others
10. Sincerity
11. Integrity
12. Care and Concern
13. Trust
14. Faith
ACTIVITY 5.1
Values needed in Relationships
What values do we need to have to improve our relationships from watching these
two video-clips?
The Crow and the Kitten http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAGzY9rnaA (2.04)
Enemies across the Border http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fq9iIxxA1s (1.21)
5.4 What Are Some Ways of Building and Maintaining

Healthy Relationships?
From Gordon’s twelve communication roadblocks, active listening with discernment

must be practised to know when and what needs to be said. This will prevent
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COU104 CHAPTER 5
obstructions for the communication flow. We have also recognised the importance of
empathy so that we are in tune with the speaker. The following exercise may be one
way to communicate without offending the listener while getting the message across
effectively.
a. What we can do b. How we can do it

c. Listen to what our friends have to say d. Active listening with discernment
e. Understand and empathise with our f. Step in, step back, reflect
friends
g. Tell our friends our feelings h. I-Message
Practicing “I Messages”
I feel _________________(emotion) when you ____________________________(action)
because ______________________________________________________(reason).
Example: I feel sad when you showed more care for John because I felt ignored.
ACTIVITY 5.2
Practising “I-Message”
Scenario:
Your friend is pressuring you into trying out the drug, Ecstasy. You know the danger
of drugs and you don’t want to get started using drugs. However, your friend is
asking you to try it just once to experience the taste. What would you say?
5.5 Ways to Communicate Disagreement with Dignity

1. Calm down and think/reflect before you try to communicate
2. Use positive self-talk to help you think the situation can be handled successfully
3. Set a positive tone – begin by treating the other person with respect
4. Express your point of view. Use the pronoun “I” not “You”
5. Listen to the other person
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5.6 How Does One Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship in a

Constructive Way?
Conflicts with friends are inevitable. There are occasions when one may disagree with
each other’s ideas. How do we resolve such “differences” in a positive manner, and
yet strengthen our relationship?
SOLVED approach can be used to resolve the problem.
S State the problem as you see it.

O Open the discussion to other points of view.
L List the possible solutions together. (Stress that illegal or harmful solutions are
not to be considered.)
V Veto solutions that are unacceptable to someone involved. (If they are all
unacceptable to someone, you may have to go back and think of more possible
solutions.)
E Evaluate the solutions that are left.
D Do the one which is most acceptable to everyone.
For example:
Jill and Joe usually go out on Saturdays. This Saturday, Jill wants to go to a movie,
but Joe wants to go to a party. Jill thinks that Joe just wants to go his own way all the
time. Joe thinks Jill is being stubborn. They are about to have an argument.

Jill: You have to come with me to the movie! I’ve been waiting all week to see it.

Joe: But I want to go over to Bill’s house for the party. Lots of our friends will be there.
L List the possible solutions together.

1. Jill could go to the movie with someone else while Joe goes to Bill’s house.
2. They could go to the movie together and skip the party.
3. They could go to the party together and skip the movie.
4. They could go to the movie before or after the party.
(If the solutions are all unacceptable to both, they may have to go back and think
of more possible solutions.)
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COU104 CHAPTER 5
V Veto solutions that are unacceptable to someone involved.

Solution 1 is unacceptable to both.
Solution 2 is unacceptable to Joe.
Solution 3 is unacceptable to Jill.

Solution 4 is left and is acceptable to both. They find out when the movie is playing
and decide to go after the party.
D Do the one most acceptable to everyone.

They have fun at Bill’s house and the whole group goes with them to the movie
afterward.
This approach may be acceptable between friends. However, if it is a family conflict

or one between a client and a counsellor, the solution needs not be acceptable to the
child or the client, although there will be an attempt to resolve the matter as best as
possible so that there is a win-win situation.
ACTIVITY 5.3
Applying SOLVED Approach
Use the SOLVED approach to solve this problem.
Your friend comes to your house every day after school. You want more freedom to
be with other people.
L List the possible solutions together.

(If the solutions are all unacceptable to both, they may have to go back and think
of more possible solutions.)
V Veto solutions that are unacceptable to someone involved.
D Do the one most acceptable to everyone.
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COU104 CHAPTER 5
5.7 Conflicts in Relationships

There is bound to be disagreement over values, motivations, perceptions, ideas or
desires in any healthy relationships. Conflicts can provide opportunities to strengthen
the bond between two people when it is handled in a respectful and positive way, as
it helps to clarify ideas, perceptions or different perspectives in life. However, when
a conflict is mismanaged, it may cause great harm to the relationship. In personal
relationships, a lack of understanding and empathy about differing needs can result
in break-ups whilst workplace conflicts may even result in broken deals or lost of jobs.
When one can recognise the legitimacy of conflicting needs and become willing to
attempt to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens
pathways to creative problem solving, team building and improved relationships.
Attempt to do Activity 5.4 and learn how you can resolve conflicts positively.
Here is an example of social emotional learning at workplace. There are two parts in
the video; the first part demonstrates lack of social emotional learning, whereas in the
second part, social emotional competency is clearly demonstrated.
ACTIVITY 5.4
Conflict Resolution
Watch the video-clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlB-BbWBzd8 (2.20)
Synopsis: Jules quarrelled with Kimmie in the toilet after she discovered that Jules had
tried to steal her fiancé, Michael, from her in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding”.
1. What are some of the feelings that Kimmie experiences?

2. How does Jules respond at the beginning and what is Kimmie’s response?
3. How is the conflict resolved in the end?
4. What are some of the positive aspects arising from the conflict between Kimmie
and Jules?
5. How can the bystanders be effective mediators in such situations?
6. What can we learn about resolving conflicts from this situation?
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COU104 CHAPTER 5
1. What is relationship management?

2. Why does relationship management play an important part?
3. Identify FIVE (5) obstacles to harmonious relationships.
4. Identify FIVE (5) crucial skills in maintaining relationships.
5. Identify THREE (3) ways when communication can be roadblocks to harmonious
relationships?
6. What are some of the ways in building and maintaining healthy relationships?
7. Your friend is pressurising you to go out with him even though you have an
examination tomorrow. What would you say so that it will be a win-win situation
and no one gets hurt?
8. Identify a strategy that you have learnt in resolving a conflict in a constructive way?
9. Identify five ways bystanders can be of effective mediators in a conflict.
10. What can be effective ways of resolving conflicts?
Chang, S.C.A. (2012). The role of social-emotional competencies in successful career

and relationships. In Ee, J. (Ed), Infusing Thinking & Social Emotional Learning
in Children & Youths. Singapore: Pearson Education Asia. Part 1, Chapter 4, 26-
35.
Chapter 4.
How to resolve conflict http://www.rogerdarlington.co.uk/conflict.html
CH5-11
CHAPTER 6
MAKING RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS
COU104 CHAPTER 6
Learning Outcomes
 identify mental blocks that prevent one from making responsible decisions
 recognise the motives behind one’s actions and have the moral courage to
make the right decision
 apply the processes in making responsible decisions
 explain the pros, cons and consequences of one’s decision on self and others,
and act on the appropriate decisions within a given context.
Overview
This chapter highlights the mental blocks that prevent one from effective thinking and
making responsible decisions. Participants will apply the processes in making
decisions responsibly as well as to generate the pros, cons and consequences and
consider other criteria, e.g. legal, ethical and moral values.
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6.1 Introduction
Everyone makes decisions everyday, e.g. what to eat, what to wear, where to go, who
to meet. Other decisions include which job should one consider, who should one
marry, etc. How certain can one be in making the right decision? Was it done on
impulse, or after a quarrel with someone, or was it done when one is in a bad mood?
If so, how conscious can one be in making a responsible and ethical decision? Some
decisions work out whilst others do not. What actually went wrong when someone
make a decision? The two kinds of roadblocks to making responsible decisions are as
follow:
1) Avoid Decisions – e.g. getting out of making decisions without even being aware
that they are doing it.
2) Using Faculty Thinking.- e.g. using inappropriate thinking strategies that lead to
poor decision-making process.
6.2 Roadblocks to Responsible Decision-making
A main roadblock to making responsible decisions is to avoid making decisions.

People avoid making decisions in a variety of ways without being aware that they
are avoiding them. Some of these ways are delineated below:
1. Drifting: Just letting life takes its course

without any goals in mind
2. Procrastination: Wait as long as possible
without taking any action
3. Dreaming: Spending time on wishful
thinking
4. Back-seat Driver: Follow what others do
instead of thinking for yourself
5. Getting Stuck: Continue what they are
doing even when it is not working
6. Crashing: Avoid making decisions by
acting out angrily or crumbling into a heap of tears
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Using Faculty Thinking: People who do not avoid making decisions but when they
make them, they do something that keeps the process from being effective.
1. Being short-sighted: Think only about what is happening right now
2. Impulsive/Hastiness: Reaching conclusions and taking actions without sufficient
thought or attention to standards of judgement
3. Narrowness: Failing to consider other perspectives, the contrary evidence,
alternative frames of reference and points of view, more imaginative possibilities,
etc.
4. One way – my way: Analysing situation in a way that is favourable only to oneself
without thinking about the needs and desires of others
5. Fuzzy: Lacking clarity in ideas or sharpness to see the distinctions
6. Sprawling: Lacking organisation in thinking, everything is all over the place and
fails to make a point
7. Oppositional: Doing the opposite, no matter what people suggest
8. Not checking the “Blind Spot”: Something that one does not understand at all,
often because he/she is not aware
6.3 What Is Responsible Decision-making?

To be responsible is to be accountable for one’s attitudes, words and actions, and one’s
ability to follow through what he/she has started, exercising self-control and striving
for excellence and self-improvement. A responsible person tends to set a good
example for others as he/she is able to plan ahead, be self-reliant, prudent, proactive,
persistent, and hard-working. He/she is aware of his/her role as a person in the society,
and acts appropriately and maturely in his/her actions and attitude, assuming roles
that are beyond what is expected. A responsible person is also one who recognises
the motives behind his/her actions, and has the moral courage to reflect and own up
to his/her errors to make the right choices or decisions.
Thus, Responsible Decision-making is the active and accurate involvement of

assessing risks, evaluating and analysing the situation before making decisions;
reflecting on pros, cons and the likely consequences of alternative courses of action,
respecting others, and taking personal responsibility for one’s own decisions. The
value concepts are ultimately translated into action, be it improved communication
skills, better decision-making, and/or non-violent conflict resolution. This ability to
make good decisions is a skill that comes with practice, experience and guidance from
caring, responsible adults. Responsible decision making skills are important in today’s
world where one is often faced with a variety of choices and opportunities.
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In order to make responsible decisions, one may need to consider the remarks of some
prominent public members on “responsibility”.
From these quotes what can you learn about “responsibility”?
“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (German and theologian)
“Eventually we all have to accept full and total responsibility for our actions,
everything we have done, and have not done.”
Hubert Selby Jr.(Author of Requiem for a Dream)
“The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our
attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.”
John C. Maxwell (an evangelical Christian author, speaker, and pastor)
6.4 What Are the Processes Involved in Responsible

Decision-making?
Decision making is the act of choosing between two or more courses of action.
However, is one able to always make the correct decision from among the available
choices? Although decisions can be made using either intuition or reasoning, a
combination of both approaches is often used. Whichever approach is used, it is
usually helpful to structure decision-making in order to:
• reduce more complicated decisions down to simpler steps

• see how any decision is derived
• plan decision making action to meet deadlines
Many different techniques of decision making have been developed, ranging from
simple rules of thumb, to extremely complex procedures. Two structured approach
will be introduced to assist in making decisions. However, some basic processes must
always be considered. They are as follow:
1. Identify the problem and analyse it. This requires self-awareness of the problem
and the need to gather facts pertaining to the problem.
- What is the source or root of the problem?
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
- Who is involved?
- What are their reasons?
- How much time is needed to make the decision?
- Who is responsible for making the decision?
2. Establish the criteria or list the possible solutions one can think of to solve it. This
process includes brainstorming or some other idea generating process,
remembering to consider the possibility of not making a decision or doing nothing,
and be aware that both options are actually potential solutions in themselves.
3. Weigh the possible outcomes, bearing in mind the following criteria
- What are the goals to be achieved?

- What are the relevant criteria?
- What are the pros and cons of each solution?
- What are the predicted consequences (long/short range)?
- What are the risks involved (real/opportunity costs)?
- What are the resources (available/substitute/constraints)?
- How will it affect one and others?
- Is it legal and ethical?
4. Decide on the values (self and others) that are important. This includes
considering the possible outcomes for now and the future, as well as one’s own
sets of beliefs, family, religion, friends, society, etc.
5. Evaluate by weighing and ranking alternatives in terms of selected criteria

- Risks
- Unanticipated consequences
- Strategies available to enact
- Values
6. Choose the best alternative for implementation, bearing in mind the pros and
cons of each course of action as timing may be critical.
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
6.5 Some Responsible Decision-making Formats
In the early years, rules set by families help one in decision making. As children, a
person realises that he/she will have to face the consequences if he/she does not abide
by the rules set by parents, e.g. “Homework before TV” or “No staying out late on a
weekday!” Other significant influences that one may encounter are one’s religious
teachings, school rules, community laws and cultural traditions. Indirectly, these
rules provide standards for acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and encourage
one to be responsible.
In today’s world, one is confronted with a variety of choices and opportunities

throughout a life-time, e.g. the branded clothes, bags and shoes, or opportunities in
one’s jobs, etc. Responsible decision skills come from practice, experience and
guidance from significant caring adults. One’s beliefs and values are very much
influenced by his/her experiences at home, school, workplace and the community at
large. There is a need to recognise that there are possible consequences for every
action taken. For example, if a person is conscious in his/her purchases, and notes the
difference between “needs” and “wants”, he/she is less likely to spend lavishly as well
as not accumulate “white elephants” at home. However, if a person is not conscious
of his/her spendings, the person may incur debts with some of the credit card
companies. Therefore, indirectly indicating that any decision made can have some
undesirable consequences.
We may need to abide by some criteria in making responsible decisions regarding our
choices of solutions.
• Is it harmful to me or to others?
• Is it wrong to do?
• Is it against the law, school rules or my religion?
• Would it disappoint my family or significant others?
• Would I be hurt or upset if someone did this to me?
In making responsible decisions, the above five questions may be another format used
to guide in decision-making. Those questions can be laminated in the initial stages to
assist one to respond more spontaneously. Each option predicts the consequences of
the action. Having considered all the options and their consequences, it will allow a
person to choose the best course of action. One may rethink his/her decision after
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
administering it:
One needs to be mindful that, regardless of where the influence comes from, when the
decisions are made, one needs to own the decision because he/she is rightfully
responsible for the choices. It is not someone else’s responsibility to make sure that
he/she does the right thing. All these actions are a product of choice. It is one’s
responsibility to make the right choice; the choice that is right an individual, and the
choice that has a positive effect. Below is a table for practice.
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
ACTIVITY 6.1
Making Responsible Decisions
1. Identify the decision to be made
Should I quit smoking? (You are welcome to attempt your own personal problem)
2. Think about the options. Throw out any options that are negative.
 Is it harmful to me or to others?
 Is it wrong to do?
 Is it against the law, university rules or my religion?
 Would it disappoint my family or significant others?
 Would I be hurt or upset if someone did this to me?
3. Predict the consequences of each positive option.
Option 1:
Advantages:
Disadvantages:
Option 2:
Advantages:
Disadvantages:
Option 3:
Advantages:
Disadvantages:
4. Choose the best option.
My choice is:
5. Do what you decided.
6. Rethink your decision. (How did things turn out? What should I do differently the
next time?)
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
6.6 Making Career Choices
In making career choices, there may be more than one procedural steps to consider.
Stage 1: Steps for decision-making:
 Identify your interests and strengths (self-awareness)

 Consider the likely careers that suit your interests and strengths
 Tick on interests and strengths related to the different jobs
 Total up the ticks to discover the three suitable careers
Criteria→ Interests Strengths
Career ↓ music children math reading fashion open to sociable flexible linguist caring Total
experience
Accountant √ 1
Teacher √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ 9
Nurse √ √ √ √ √ 5
Fashion √ √ √ 3
Designer
Lawyer √ √ √ √ 4
Conclusion: 1) Teacher 2) Nurse 3) Lawyer
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COU104 CHAPTER 6
Stage 2: Examine the pros, cons, consequences and reasons of your decisions.
Steps:
 Set criteria e.g. housing, jobs, safety, etc.

 Consider the pros, cons, consequences and reasons for each chosen criteria.
 Rate the value on a scale of 1 to 5 (least to most)
Career: __Teacher______(Do likewise for the other two preferred careers)
Total: ___23__
Criteria Pros Cons Consequences Reasons Values
Education Needs Needs Pursue studies Reputable 5

degree financial degree is
support from essential
parents
Flexibility of School - - More holidays Allows for de- 5
Working holidays than some careers stress
Hours - Can pursue
interest areas
Salary - Not highly May have to Only bread 5
salaried consider a part- winner in the
time job family
Career Has Depends on May consider Keeps me 4
Advancement prospects principal in part-time courses updated on
school for advancement education
system
Work Everyday May face Stay focus on To explore 4
Challenge is difficult goals and my passion
challenging parents and improving and keeps me
and never supervisors communication inspired
boring skills
The above exercise should be repeated to assess the other two alternative careers.
The career with the highest ratings will be your final choice.
CH6-10
COU104 CHAPTER 6
ACTIVITY 6.2
Making Responsible Career Decisions
Stage 1: Steps for decision-making:
• Identify your interests and strengths (self-awareness)

• Consider the likely careers that suit your interests and strengths
• Ticks on interests and strengths related to the different jobs
• Total up the ticks to discover the three likely careers
Criteria Interests Strengths

→ Total
Career
↓
Conclusion: 1)___________ 2)_________ 3)_____________
Stage 2: Examine the pros, cons, consequences and reasons of your decisions.
Steps:
• Set Criteria e.g. housing, jobs, safety, etc.
• Consider the pros, cons, consequences and reasons for each chosen criteria .
• Rate the value on a scale of 1 to 5 (least to most)
Career Choice 1: __________ Total: _______

Career Choice 2: ____________ Total: _______

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COU104 CHAPTER 6
Career Choice 3: ____________ Total: _______

Best Career Choice is ____________________
GAME
Play the game to find out how successful you are in your career path.
(Access the Game via iStudyGuide)
1. What is responsible decision making?

2. What are two kinds of roadblocks that prevent people from making responsible
decisions? Provide an example for each.
3. Identify THREE (3) ways that people avoid making decisions.
4. Identify THREE (3) ways people make decisions but do something that keeps the
process from being effective.
5. What is Responsible Decision Making?
6. What are the processes involved in Responsible Decision Making?
Ee, J. (2009). Strategies for empowering metacognition through SEL. In Ee, J. (Ed),
Empowering metacognition through SEL: Lessons for the classroom.
Singapore: Cengage Learning Pte Ltd. Chapter 1, 3-24.
Greeff, A. (2009). Fostering resilience through SEL: Growing wings, anchors and
flexibility. In Ee, J. (Ed), Empowering metacognition through SEL: Lessons for
the classroom. Singapore: Cengage Learning Pte Ltd. Chapter 3, 35-56.
CH6-12
COU104 CHAPTER 6
Summary
In Chapter 1, you learnt about social emotional learning and its benefits; and the
reasons why everyone needs it. In chapters 2 and 3, you were introduced to two social
emotional competencies related to the self (self-awareness and self-management). In
self-awareness, you learnt about your strengths and limits; and strengthens your
inner-selves whilst in self-management, you learnt about self-regulating not only to
ourselves but our emotions. In chapters 4 and 5, you learnt to focus on others (social
awareness and relationship management) where you learnt to develop empathy
through reading others more accurately so that you can relate to them better. Chapter
6 allows you to use the four social emotional competencies so that you can make
responsible decision.
CH6-13

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COU104

SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING

STUDY GUIDE (5CU)

Head of Programme : Dr Cecilia Soong

Course Developer : A/P Jessie Ee

Production : Educational Technology & Production Team

© 2017 Singapore University of Social Sciences. All rights reserved.

No part of this material may be reproduced in any form or by any means

Educational Technology & Production

2. Course Description and Aims .........................................................................2

3. Learning Outcomes .......................................................................................... 3

4. Overview Assessment ...................................................................................... 4

5. Learning Materials ............................................................................................ 5

6. Learning Mode ................................................................................................ 12

WHAT IS SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING?

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH1-1

Overview .......................................................................................................... CH1-1

1.1 The Current Concern ................................................................................ CH1-2

1.3 What Is Social Emotional Learning? ...................................................... CH1-4

UNDERSTANDING MYSELF THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH2-1

2.1 Introduction ............................................................................................... CH2-2

2.2 What Is Self-awareness?........................................................................... CH2-2

2.4 Advantages of Self-awareness? .............................................................. CH2-3

2.5 Setting Goals .............................................................................................. CH2-5

2.6 Awareness of Your Purpose in Life ....................................................... CH2-6

MANAGING AND REGULATING EMOTIONS

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH3-1

Overview .......................................................................................................... CH3-1

3.1 What Is Self-management? ...................................................................... CH3-2

3.4 Recognising and Identifying One’s Emotions ...................................... CH3-4

3.5 How Emotions Reflect One’s Actions or Behaviour ............................ CH3-7

3.6 How to Take Control of Our Emotions ................................................. CH3-8

3.7 Translating and Expressing Negative Emotions in Positive Ways.. CH3-11

DEVELOPING AND PROMOTING SOCIAL AWARENESS

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH4-1

Overview .......................................................................................................... CH4-1

4.1 What Is Social Awareness and Why Is It Important? .......................... CH4-2

4.4 Develop Social Awareness to Reduce Prejudices ................................. CH4-6

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH5-1

Overview .......................................................................................................... CH5-1

5.1 What Is Relationship Management? ...................................................... CH5-2

5.2 What Are the Obstacles to Harmonious Relationships? ..................... CH5-2

5.5 Ways to Communicate Disagreement with Dignity ............................ CH5-7

5.6 How Does One Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship in a Constructive Way?

5.7 Conflicts in Relationships ...................................................................... CH5-10

MAKING RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS

Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................ CH6-1

Overview .......................................................................................................... CH6-1

6.1 Introduction ............................................................................................... CH6-2

6.2 Roadblocks to Responsible Decision-making ....................................... CH6-2

6.3 What Is Responsible Decision-making? ................................................ CH6-3

6.5 Some Responsible Decision-making Formats....................................... CH6-6

6.6 Making Career Choices ............................................................................ CH6-9

Summary ........................................................................................................ CH6-13

(Access video via iStudyGuide)

2 Course Description and Aims

A. Knowledge & Understanding (Theory Component)

B. Key Skills (Practical Component)

Assessment Description Weight

Assignment 1 TMA 01 15%

Examination Two-hour examination to assess your application of 50 %

Non-graded Learning Activities: