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College Application Essay

Please copy and paste your essay here. Please provide the prompt you used also. Essay
should be in MLA format. Citations aren’t necessary, but please do provide them if you
are using outside sources. 400 to 750 words. I WILL be strict on this.

Kai Wong

Paulson Core B

May 4, 2018

Memoir/College Essay

One Among Many: The Secrets to Success

The importance of mindset was painfully prevalent in my eighth grade school

year. I was blessed with the opportunity to become an educator and communicate my

knowledge to others. The journey was not short, and most definitely not easy, but I

prevailed. In the end, the immense knowledge I acquired would have been otherwise

unobtainable.

I look back to the year 2017, when I had one goal to accomplish in my

competition robotics class: do well and make myself proud. My expectations were not

grand, I just wanted to enjoy myself and do my personal best. I understood my role for

that year: I was an eighth-grader and I would be leaving to high school next year, so I

needed to pass my knowledge on to my new pupils. I was naive to think that it would be

an easy and carefree year. I could not have anticipated the absurdities that lay ahead.

I will never forget how disappointed I was the day their ears shut. Although

having confidence in oneself is crucial to success, it is always important to understand

that sometimes you may be wrong or at fault. The fact that one may find themselves

more knowledgeable than their own teacher is preposterous. It is of utmost importance

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to acknowledge that a teacher is providing you with their guidance, advice, and

experience. They are not there to attack you or falsify your knowledge in any way,

shape, or form. Nevertheless, students can be very stubborn and arrogant. I now

recognize the pain of when someone throws out your knowledge, but from this pain I

have grasped an understanding that stubborness is important to learning and growth.

Sooner or later, my disciples will understand that advice can be freely given, but it is

their choice whether or not to accept the knowledge. And when they make that

decision, their knowledge and character will expand.

One of the obscure and sometimes hidden secret to success is having the proper

mindset. I did not realize this until I was given the chance to teach. Stubbornness and

arrogance truly prevents one from obtaining the knowledge they are given. However,

the drive and passion required to succeed are equally important. The fact that you must

open your mind to learn may sound idiotic and painfully obvious, but it is in fact

complicated. Image that you play baseball and a soccer player offers you some of their

knowledge. It may sound ridiculous to welcome this advice with open arms. While it

may sound foolish, the experience that the soccer player has acquired may be valuable

and applicable to baseball. One that keeps their mind open will learn so much more

than one who does not. The flaw of the wrong mindset has a huge negative impact on

one’s growth in character and education.

My knowledge and background gained from my teaching experiences truly sets

me apart from all others. I have been enlightened and understand that in order to

succeed to one’s full potential, the proper mindset is required. Learning cannot be
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forced, it requires drive, which is more complex than plain passion. Drive includes the

motivation to evaluate oneself and understand that one is not always correct. There are

multiple perspectives, which must all be acknowledged. Furthermore, the importance of

having open ears and doors is equally important. Without opening one’s mind, one

cannot learn the vast amount of knowledge that is available to them. There is no single

secret to success, success is the result of a collection of many character traits that

allows one to be their personal best. Upon deep self reflection, I have realized that the

event that is my eighth grade school year has taught me the secrets to success.

Rubric rating submitted on: 5/15/2018, 5:26:52 PM by kapaulson@mytusd.org

4 3.5 3 2.5 2 1.5 1

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Your establishe y ntly establishe
score: 4 sa establishe establishe sa
setting, sa sa setting,
narrator, setting, setting, narrator,
and/or narrator, narrator, and/or
characters and/or and/or characters
, and a characters characters , and a
point of , and a , and a point of
view point of point of view
view view

Organizati Consistent Adequate Inconsiste Lack of

on transitiona use of nt use of transitiona
Your l transitiona transitiona l
score: 4 strategies, l l strategies,
logical strategies, strategies, no logical
sequence logical uneven sequence
of events, sequence sequence of events,
effective of events, of events, ineffective
opening effective weak opening
and opening opening and
closure and and closure
closure closure

Elaboratio Effective Adequate Uneven, Minimal

n elaboratio elaboratio cursory elaboratio
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Your n using n using elaboratio n using

score: 4 details, details, n using little or no
dialogue, dialogue, partial details,
and and details, dialogue,
descriptio descriptio dialogue, and
n n and descriptio
descriptio n
n

Language Effective Adequate Partial or Vague,

& use of use of weak use lacks
Vocabular sensory, sensory, of clarity,
y concrete, concrete, sensory, limited
Your and and concrete, use of
score: 4 figurative figurative and language
language language figurative and
and and language sentence
sentence sentence and fluency
fluency fluency sentence
fluency

Conventio Few, if Some Frequent Lack of

ns any errors errors in errors in command
Your in usage usage and usage and of
score: 4 and sentence sentence conventio
sentence formation; formation; ns, errors
formation; adequate inconsiste are
effective/c use of nt use of frequent
onsistent punctuatio punctuatio and
use of n, n, severe,
punctuatio capitalizati capitalizati meaning
n, on, and on, and is often
capitalizati spelling spelling obscured.
on, and
spelling

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