The Nun in the Attic

A project of the Page to Stage class, Dominican University of California,

Fall 2015

Written by
Katelyn A. Theobald, Isabelle Tearse, Hannah V. Reilly, Isidora
J. Pierattini, David M. Peterson, Sarah M. Pereira, Jessica M.
O’Donnell, Emma L. Fitzgerald, Samantha R. Easley, Joyce Chu,
Jenae C. Casalnuovo, Victor N. Brancati, Delaney J. Boyd, Jeff
Wincek, and Robert F. Bradford

Cast (in order of appearance):

Bossy Drama Girl -- Isabelle Tearse
Ghost of Sister Angelica -- Isidora J. Pierattini
Paranoid Girl -- Samantha R. Easley
Victim -- Jenae C. Casalnuovo
Blonde -- Jessica M. O’Donnell
Drunk -- Emma L. Fitzgerald
Shy Roommate -- Hannah V. Reilly
DJ -- Victor N. Brancati
Groupie -- Delaney J. Boyd
Jock Snob -- David M. Peterson
Angry Girl -- Katelyn A. Theobald
Professor Flutesnoot -- Sarah M. Pereira
Sergeant Schwartzeneggar -- Joyce Chu

[Somewhere in an attic of Angelico.

Enter BOSSY DRAMA GIRL.
She looks around and stretches.]

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

I swear, this attic in Angelico is the only place on this whole
campus where a girl can be alone to rehearse.

1
 [She declaims loudly, practicing a monologue]
Depression is the relative from out of town that anxiety thought
to bring to the party.

[enter Ghost of SISTER ANGELICA]

SISTER ANGELICA:
Ooh, I have company! It gets lonely, being a ghost.
[ISADORA – PERHAPS COMMENT ON DRAMA GIRL’S MONOLOGUE, AND HOW
STUDENTS HAVE CHANGED IN THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS]
Oh, here comes the paranoid girl who’s the only one who can see
me. She vibrates at a pretty high frequency.

[enter PARANOID GIRL]

PARANOID GIRL:
Oh. It’s the drama queen.

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

Oh. It’s the paranoid freak. I wouldn’t think someone as nervous
as you would come up here.

PARANOID GIRL:
I have my reasons. Um, have you seen anything strange? Or heard
anything?

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

No way. Like what?

PARANOID GIRL:
Like, the ghost.

2
 BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:
What ghost?

PARANOID GIRL:
[ISADORA – HOW ABOUT SOME LURID TALE HERE?]

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

[ISABELLE – COULD TOP PARANOID GIRL WITH AN EVEN MORE LURID
GHOST STORY]

SISTER ANGELICA:
You kidding me? I only died from an aneurysm in my sleep, no big
deal. It didn’t even hurt.
.

PARANOID GIRL:
Didn’t you hear that?

SISTER ANGELICA:
You’re the only one who can hear me, dear. It’s because you have
a special gift. Nobody else can see or hear me. Guess you are
special.

[enter VICTIM, BLONDE, DRUNK, and SHY ROOMMATE]

[JENAE, JESSICA, EMMA AND HANNAH – COULD EXPLORE SOME OF THE
REAL ISSUES OF COLLEGE LIFE HERE, WHILE ALSO WORKING IN “GOOD
THING WE LEFT THAT OTHER PARTY” AND POINTING OUT THAT NOT ONE
BUT TWO GUYS MAY HAVE GIVEN VICTIM A SPIKED DRINK, AND SHE DRANK
THEM BOTH... ANYBODY BEEN HARASSED? MAYBE PREGNANT? CRACKING
UNDER THE STRESS OF EXAMS? LONELY? SUICIDAL? VIOLENT?
PROMISCUOUS? AFRAID SHE’LL DIE A VIRGIN? STRUGGLING WITH GENDER

3
IDENTITY? YOU SURELY KNOW BETTER THAN I DO WHAT ISSUES YOU’RE
FACING – AND SISTER ANGELICA COULD GIVE A RUNNING COMMENTARY...]

EMMA (DRUNK):
Oh my god Jenae, I am SO happy we are doing this! It’s going to
be so fun! And I was able to get Hannah, my roommate to come!
Let’s get this party started!

BLONDE:
I’m so glad we left that other party. I had a bad feeling about
some of those guys there.

(BLONDE, DRUNK, and SHY ROOMMATE turn and look at VICTIM)

SHY ROOMMATE:
I’m not sure why you took those drinks from them… It seemed like
they just wanted to get you wasted. And they wouldn’t stop
touching you.

EMMA (DRUNK):
Oh, leave her alone. She just got dumped for like the fifth
time. She deserves to forget about her problems tonight.

BLONDE:
I don’t know, I agree. She seems drunker than she should after a
few drinks. You guys don’t think they put anything in her
drinks, do you…?

VICTIM:
(VICTIM slurs her words)
I’m fine, I’m fine! Everyone just stop worrying about me. I just
wanna have a good time!

4
 [enter DJ and GROUPIE]
[VICTOR AND DELANEY – COULD BE SOMETHING VERY POIGNANT HERE –
FUNNY, BUT VERY TOUCHING. WHY IS SHE SO NEEDY? WHY IS HE SO
AVOIDANT OF A RELATIONSHIP?]

[enter JOCK SNOB and ANGRY GIRL]

[DAVID AND CAITLIN – WHAT DO COUPLES REALLY ARGUE ABOUT???]

EMMA:
Jenae, why are you getting so tired?! We JUST got here, come on!

VICTIM:
I’m getting so sleepy... [passes out]

[enter Professor Flutesnoot]

PARANOID GIRL:
Oh no! It’s Professor Flutesnoot. We’re all going to get kicked
out of Dominican!

SISTER ANGELICA:
Oh oh! Flutesnoot! She’s so tight, when she farts, she squeaks!
--OR--
Oh no! It’s the professor! She is so strict, there is no way
this party is going to last very long after this!

[everyone tries to hide bottles and VICTIM,

who is propped up on a chair]

5
 PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
What’s going on here!

EMMA (DRUNK):
OMG! Flutey! What’s up? We’re just studying because Pennafort is
SO loud right now! Hey hey, is that midterm on Wednesday going
to like totally drop my grade if I don’t ace it?

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
Is Jenae alright?!

EMMA (DRUNK):
Oh my gosh, yeah! She’s just super tired from our crazy study
load this weekend, thats all! She’s fine, you can go now!

[SARAH – GOOD PLACE FOR A RANT. YOU COULD IMITATE (AND MOCK) THE
LEAST FAVORITE TEACHER YOU’VE EVER HAD...]

[VICTIM slips to the floor]

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
That’s it! I’m calling Security.

[everyone starts to run... then reconsiders and

comes back to help their friend]

SISTER ANGELICA:
Ooh! It wouldn’t be as lonely if there was another ghost around
here.

[enter SGT. SCHWARZENEGGER]

6
 SGT. SCHWARZENEGGER:

What’s going on here? Will someone tell me what’s going on or

will I have to question you all separately?

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:

I came in to pick up some papers that I left at school, but I

hear a loud noise coming from this room. Next thing I know, I
see her passed out and lying on the floor.

SGT. SCHWARZENEGGER:

Alright kids! I want somebody to tell me what she took. I want

the truth from all of you! Or we’ll have to contact your
guardians.

EMMA:

Security! Hey! There is a HUGE party going on in Pennafort, you

should go check that out.

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

I had nothing to do with this MA’M! I was the one who was here
first to practice my lines, but all of them just barged in in
the middle of my practice!

Angry Girl (turns to jock snob):

I told you we shouldn’t have come here! Why couldn’t you have
just taken me on a regular date!

Jock Snob:

It wasn’t my fault that she drank too much!

7
 SGT. SCHWARZENEGGER:

Whoa Whoa Whoa! Hold it right there! How old is this girl? Is
she at a legal age to drink? Are you all minors?

Ghost of Sister Angelica:

They are in BIGGGGGGGGG trouble!

Paranoid Girl:

Can you be quiet for once?! Obviously we are in trouble. I knew

something like this would happen.

Blonde: (rolls eyes at her posse)

Who is she talking to?! Why are we in trouble?! She just drank
too much and took some pills!

BOSSY DRAMA GIRL:

Can you shut up?! Do you want us to be in even more trouble?!

How dumb are you?!

Drunk:(Angry!!!)

Don’t talk to her like that! She is my friend! Don’t you dare
tell her to shut up!

SGT. SCHWARZENEGGER:

She took pills too?! Don’t you kids know not to mix pills and
alcohol?! This is getting a bit too crazy now! Someone call 911!
She could be in serious danger!

8
*Victim wakes up*

[IF SHE DIES….]

SISTER ANGELICA:
Ohh?! Is that a ghost? Wait? Could it be? A friend, just what a
lonely old Nun needs!

[ENDING??? PERSONALLY, I’D JUST AS SOON SEE VICTIM RECOVER, OR

HAVE A GAS LEAK OR SOMETHING KILL EVERYBODY, OR...??? AT ANY
RATE, SISTER ANGELICA SHOULD HAVE THE LAST WORD!!!]

-- the end --