WORKING DRAFT

Last Modified 08/10/2012 15:54:32 Romance Standard Time

Printed 9/25/2012 4:33:42 PM India Standard Time

SALSA:
The dance of a dialogue

Last Modified 04/03/2014 15:00 Romance Standard Time

Presented by:
Lynne Chaillat

Printed 04/03/2014 15:00 Romance Standard Time

Charmhee Kim
Ralph Johnson

IOA conference - April 2014

Why this workshop? What is behind its creation?

• Helping inquirers have productive dialogues is one of the options an

OO can help raise

• There are many books on having a helpful dialogue, this a simplified

combination of many of these methods

• A dialogue is like a dance, you need to understand the steps but you
also need to learn to move to the music

• Helping our inquirers understand the steps can give them the tools
to be empowered to solve their concern themselves
Agenda for next 90 minutes

Content

Intro and expectations

Over Here Over there - What does that mean?

The other steps of a dialogue

Deep dive on Asking

SALSA – Dialogue is like a dance

Session objective

The big idea is Dialogue is like a Dance, knowing the steps

of the dance along with how to move with the music are
equally important.

Mindsets affect our behavior. Shifting our mindset is the

foundational act of good dialogue (the skills fall flat without
the right mindset).

We hope to raise your awareness of how you dialogue and

thus build relations which you could then use to help
inquirers
The dance of dialogue

Dialogue, like dance

▪ Is fluid and dynamic, requiring

both preparation and flexibility

▪ Is built on a foundation of trust

and respect for the other person

▪ Involves mastery of your own

skills as well as the ability to
adapt and adjust to your partner

▪ Brings out the best of both

parties, creating something
neither could have created on their
own

▪ Takes time and practice to

master
The SALSA framework is a way to building relations through building
dialogue skills

S hift your mindset Key messages:

▪ Dialogue skills are a core
A sk impactful questions skill for building relations
at work.

L isten for what is said and

not said
▪ We all know the pieces of
a dialogue but, what is
S ummarize and check in
new is mastering the
mindset shift and
applying it to the other
A ssert a point of
view
parts of a dialogue

Copyright 2008 McKinsey & Co

Agenda

Content

Intro and expectations

Over Here Over there - What does that mean?

The other steps of a dialogue

Deep dive on Asking

The new element is the mindset shift from ‘Over here’ (with yourself) to
‘Over there’ (with the other person)

▪ The notion of mindset shift is a crucial element for creating deeper dialogues
▪ It flows throughout the entire SALSA framework

Over here (with yourself) Over there (with the other)

▪ Self-focused ▪ Other-focused
▪ Transaction-oriented ▪ Relationship-oriented
▪ Expert ▪ Counselor
▪ Hierarchical ▪ Inclusive
▪ Insular ▪ Collaborative
▪ Judgment ▪ Acceptance
▪ Distracted ▪ Attention
▪ Uninterested ▪ Curious
▪ Non-caring ▪ Caring

Source: McKinsey partner learning

Exercise – 10 mins

▪ Find a partner and for 2 minutes Story teller explain your last vacation
▪ Partner (listener)r,- on a scale of 1 to 10 be over here
▪ Then stop – How did you feel, then partner be on a scale of 10 – over there
▪ First person should continue the vacation story

▪ Switch roles – story teller becomes listener and listener becomes story teller
▪ Story teller explains what they did last weekend
▪ Partner ( listener) is a 1 on the scale of over here
▪ Then stop – How did you feel, then partner be on a scale of 10 – over there
▪ Story teller should continue the what I did last weekend story

▪ Debrief in Plenary
The new element is the mindset shift from ‘Over here’ (with yourself) to
‘Over there’ (with the other person)

▪ The notion of mindset shift is a crucial element for creating deeper dialogues
▪ It flows throughout the entire SALSA framework

Over here (with yourself) Over there (with the other)

▪ Self-focused ▪ Other-focused
▪ Transaction-oriented ▪ Relationship-oriented
▪ Expert ▪ Counselor
▪ Hierarchical ▪ Inclusive
▪ Insular ▪ Collaborative
▪ Judgment ▪ Acceptance
▪ Distracted ▪ Attention
▪ Uninterested ▪ Curious
▪ Non-caring ▪ Caring

Source: McKinsey partner learning

Agenda

Content

Intro and expectations

Over Here Over there - What does that mean?

The other steps of a dialogue

Deep dive on Asking

Exercise – 15 mins

▪ Divide room into different posters ASLA

▪ Give them 15 mins to come up with what their letter would look like from an over
there position.
▪ Then go around and have everyone share what they came up with
Group setup for ALSA exercise: exploring Mindsets across SALSA

Ask
questions

Listen

Assert

Summarize
Ask behaviors

Over here Over there

S ▪
▪
Few questions asked
Leading questions –assertions
disguised as questions
▪
▪
Many questions asked
Neutral questions—don’t
presuppose an answer

A ▪
▪
Narrow range of question types
Questions that aren’t motivated
by genuine curiosity (e.g.: trying
▪
▪
Broad range of question types
Questions motivated by genuine
curiosity and an authentic desire

L
to find holes in people’s to know what the other person
arguments, to fill space, to look thinks/feels
interested, etc.)

S
A
Listen behaviors

Over here Over there

S ▪
▪
Missed or ignored cues
Listener does not adjust own
language, body, or emotional to
▪
▪
Noticed and acknowledged cues
Listener does adjust own
language, body, or emotional to

A
cues cues
▪ No adaptation to what is heard, ▪ Flexibility and release of own
sticks to own agenda agenda based on what is heard

L
▪ Reloading for next question ▪ Giving other person full attention
▪ Distracted ▪ Present
▪ Interrupts ▪ Letting the other person finish

S ▪ No silence ▪ Use of silence to give other

person a chance to think/respond

A
Summarize behaviors

Over here Over there

S ▪ Does not regularly check

assumptions or understanding
with other person
▪ Periodically checks in and
clarifies themes, issues, options
by playing them back

A
▪ Does not seem to follow what
other person is saying but keeps
moving the dialogue
▪ Complicated summary. may
▪ Pauses discussion if does not
understand, has patience with
conversation and person
▪ Summary is simple and helps

L ▪
confuse rather than clarify
Does not use other person’s
words or ideas, may seem to be
▪
both parties improve clarity
Summary acts as a mirror, using
other person’s words and ideas,

S
asserting disguised as neutral statements used
summary/synthesis

A
Assert behaviors

Over here Over there

S ▪ Assertions are . . .
– primary tool, taking up most of
the airtime
– made as statements of truth,
▪ Assertions are . . .
– used selectively, person talks
less than dilaogue partner
– made as offers, or

A as the obvious, or ‘right’

answer
– not well-timed, often too early
in dialogue for other person to
perspectives, not as absolute
truth
– made at an appropriate time,
either when asked or when

L hear
– don’t reflect dialogue to that
point, seem to ignore what has
been said
the person is receptive
– acknowledges what has been
said, even when it is an
opposing point

S – don’t add to discussion or

provide information that serves
the other
– new information that furthers
discussion and is helpful to
the other person

A
Agenda

Content

Intro and expectations

Over Here Over there - What does that mean?

The other steps of a dialogue

Deep dive on Asking

Film
Asking effective questions

S To master questioning you can work on both how you ask questions
and what specific questions you ask

A How you ask questions

Closed questions Open questions

The specific questions you ask

L Fact-based
questions
Emotion-based
questions
GROW*

S ▪
Problem-oriented
questions
Solution-oriented
questions

The right mindset (over there) ▪ A methodology for choosing the

A ▪ Flexibility across a range of

question types
right questions to have an
effective dialogue

*GROW = Goals, Reality, Options, Will

Meta Question types

Closed questions Open questions

Fact-based Emotion-based
questions questions

Problem-oriented Solution-oriented
questions questions
Set up Paired share – total time 15 mins

▪ Think about a situation in which you want to deal with it but it is difficult

▪ Find a partner – choose who will go first

▪ Story teller – share your situation with the listener (7 mins total)

▪ Listener/asker – you can only ask questions that are solution oriented, open or
emotion-based

▪ Switch roles
Asking effective questions (1/3)
Closed questions
Descrip- ▪ Questions that start with to be, to have, or to
tion do verbs (are, were, would, will, have, do,
did) often generate yes or no answers; they
are typically more leading questions
▪ Helps obtain specific information or
Impact guidance on particular topics
▪ Useful when agenda or topic of discussion
is very focused and/or time is short
▪ Efficient way of testing hypotheses
▪ Essential when reaching agreements,
making commitments, ensuring clarity, etc.
▪ Useful for focusing the other person on
specific topics (i.e., interviewees)
▪ Have you spoken to the your colleague yet?
Examples
▪ Did you replace the manager after that
incident?
▪ Are you going to pursue Option A or
Option B?
▪ Would you put $1,000 of your own money in
this?
Open questions
▪ Questions beginning with what, where,
how, and when are often short and
simple; typically a more neutral question
▪ Opens information flow, provides
information
▪ Involves the person you are speaking
with in the discussion, can help them
come to own insights
▪ Leads to a broader set of potential paths
and options for the dialogue
▪ What are the implications of that choice?
▪ How do you see this going forward?
▪ Where do you think you will be in 5
years?
▪ How are you thinking about this?
▪ How do you feel about this?
Asking effective questions (2/3)
Fact-based questions
Descrip- ▪ Questions that focus on factual, analytical
tion information; questions that get at what
people think or do
▪ Central to discussing and collaborating on
Impact business-related issues (i.e., problem-
solving)
▪ Useful when engaged in a topic without
significant emotional charge
▪ Often appropriate when you do not know the
other person well and/or the other person
has established clear boundaries
▪ What led to the current situation?
Examples ▪ Who is involved in setting up the meeting?
▪ What are the financial implications?
▪ What happened exactly?
Emotion-based questions
▪ Questions that inquire about emotional
topics or considerations, questions that
get at how
people feel
▪ Can help build intimacy and connection;
lowers the waterline in the dialogue
▪ Brings clarity to what is going on under
the surface of an interaction
▪ Can draw attention to important areas of
a topic that might have been overlooked
▪ Are "over there" with the person
▪ How are you feeling?
▪ What are you most worried about?
▪ What is the mood in the department?
▪ How would you feel if this worked out?
Didn’t work out?
Asking effective questions (3/3)
Problem-oriented questions
Descrip- ▪ Questions that focus on what has
tion happened; often focused on undesired,
negative or challenging outcomes; typically
past-oriented
▪ Focuses discussion on specific issues or
Impact topics
▪ Provides information about how the current
situation came to be; can help uncover root
causes
▪ Useful to test risks or downsides of a
particular course of action
▪ Can be appropriate to honor emotional state
of the other person (though can keep them
stuck)
▪ Why did this happen?
Examples ▪ Who caused the problem?
▪ What if you cannot arrange a meeting?
▪ What are you concerned about?
▪ What is the root cause of this?
▪ What was your part in this?
Solution-oriented questions
▪ Questions that inquire about what could
be possible in the future or what has
worked in the past or present; focused on
desired, positive outcomes
▪ Helps unlock energy, ideas, creativity
▪ Can shift emotional state to be more
positive
and hopeful
▪ Helps the person get in touch with what
they have control over and what actions
they can take to resolve an issue
▪ Can help motivate someone to action
▪ What would you like to see happen?
▪ Who can help you?
▪ What do you believe would improve
this situation?
▪ If you knew the answer, what would it be?
▪ What do you really like/appreciate?
▪ What if you had no constraints?