Alondra Rodriguez Medina

March 6, 2018

ENGL 1T

Reflection 6

Part 1: Reflection on Essay 3

1. Based upon the amount of time you spend writing the essay (fulfilling all elements of

the process, from freewriting to outlining to participating in a peer response

workshop), as well as my comments overall, are you surprised by the grade your

essay received? Why or why not?

○ I am not completely surprised, but I am shocked at the grade that I received. I

lowkey expected that grade because I was not prepared well and was behind on

my homework. Although I tried my best to do what I could to complete the essay

and not fail it, I feel like the grade C- is not as bad as I thought I would do.

2. Select ONE part of your essay in which you did well, based upon my comments,

annotations, and the notes from the rubric. What did you do well and how do you

plan on building upon that strength of your writing.

○ One part I did well in my Essay 3 was analyzing the evidence and talking about it

to connect it back to the main idea. I plan on building upon this strength of my

writing to use more key terms and using my own ideas to break it down, instead

of repeating myself and saying what the author says. I also plan on doing more

thinking and comparing it to more texts or references from other readings or

experiences.
3. Using the categories of the rubric, select what you think are your TOP 3 categories

for improvement. In other words, what areas of the essay do you think you most

need to focus on in order to develop that part of the essay for Essay 4? Why do

you think you struggled with this category in Essay 3? Categories include:

○ Scope/Definition of Task

○ Introduction- topic and context

○ Introduction- thesis

○ Organization

○ Body Paragraphs: Focus

○ Body Paragraphs: Evidence and Support

○ Body Paragraphs: Analysis

○ Conclusion

○ Sentence Variety

○ Editing and MLA

○ My top 3 areas of improvement are introduction on topic and thesis,

organization, and the definition of task. I need to improve my introduction

thesis because I tend to just re-say what the author’s argument is instead

of saying why and giving my own reasons. I also need to improve on my

paragraph organization because sometimes when I have a lot to say, I will

say it all at once instead of connecting my ideas first and seeing which

ideas can make my paragraph stronger and which ideas can go alone in

it’s own paragraph. I like to have my essay be smooth and flow easier.

Lastly, I need to improve on the definition of task because I feel like the
 essay didn’t really focus on the main question and give my audience a

clear idea of what I’m trying to say.

4. Select two comments or questions I made in my annotations that you find helpful

in understanding how you can improve your writing for the next essay. Write the

comment (quote me) and then write a response to that comment that shows what you

understand about how to improve your essay because of that comment.

○ “Great lead into the quote you are using here-” This helps me understand that I

know how to introduce quotes pretty good. Knowing how to integrate quotes will

help my essay sound stronger and make sense to my audience. I don’t stick to the

basic’s on integrating quotes.

○ “Although this is a great summary of how Coates operated in his own family,

which does relate to your main idea, claim, you aren't analyzing the significance

of this information. What is your analysis? In other words, what are you trying to

say about Coates' approach with his son? How does this information support your

thesis?” This helps me understand how I can summarize well, but even though I

did sound confusing the comments that Susie gave me, helped me realize what I

need to improve on and what I should focus on while writing this part in my

essay.

5. What questions do you have about how to improve any specific part of your writing?

List 2 questions you have based upon the comments I gave you on the essay.

○ Did I fully and correctly integrate Coates definition of the American Dream?

○ What’s the number one thing that I need to focus on more while writing my

essay?
 Part 2: Reflection on Outline Workshop

1. Based upon your work in class today, on a scale of 1-5, how confident do you feel

about your outline? Rate yourself and explain your rating: 1= not confident and 5 =

very confident.

a. Rate 1-5: 3

2. What do you think is your strongest claim? Write it below and explain why it is your

strongest claim.

a. “Immigrants come here striving for that American Dream and make the most

sacrifices and do everything in their power to succeed and get far in life to prove

all these stereotypes wrong.” This is my strongest claim because this isn’t only

focused on what the book states, but it will require some research will make it

stronger.

3. What do you think is your weakest claim? Write it below and explain why it is your

weakest claim and how you plan on revising this claim.

a. “Girls are the number one victims of gang harassment or gang violence because

women are seen as weak and vulnerable. Gang’s have this so called “power” over

innocent people who aren’t part of gangs, which is sad because some may fall into

their trap and feel hopeless and desperate to keep their family safe.” This is my

weakest claim because I stated only girls here instead of focusing on the whole

idea of immigrants coming here and what power the gang has from them. It

doesn’t really connect to the focus question, therefore I need to re-write it and

make it sound more towards the question I am asking.

4. Where in your essay outline do you think you can introduce your concession? After

which claim? Explain the concession you think you might be able to use in your

argument and where you think it might fit.

a. I think I can introduce my concession when talking about the gang violence and

when I use the claim “Real reasons like gang violence, life threats, or

abandonment or neglect are reasons enough to be granted some asylum and not be

deported back to their homeland.” The concession I can use is bringing these

troubled teens into our country is like saying that gang is allowed here when it’s

not. Gang members make their decisions and innocent people shouldn’t be afraid

to move on with their lives.

5. What are your next steps for drafting? Be specific and explain.

a. Step 1: Revise my claims to make my stand more clear.

b. Step 2: Fix my thesis and include my reasons as to why I agree with Luiselli.

c. Step 3: Complete my research for my essay.

Part 3: Reflect on Research for Essay 4

1. What topics do you most want to research based upon Luiselli's text? List your top 3

topics.
 a. Visas

b. Government aid with Immigrants

c. Trauma immigrants have experienced to cross here

2. For each topic, explain WHY you are interested in this topic.

a. Visa’s because I want to become more informed on the kind of visas immigrants

are granted.

b. The kind of aid that the U.S. government is granting on the immigrants or the

dirty work they are doing to get rid of these immigrants.

c. The trauma immigrants must go through in order to either cross or the trauma they

face after they cross and how they are able to cope with that fear of either being

thrown out or not being granted of some sort of asylum.

3. For each of the above topics, write an open-ended question that you can try to answer

with the research you conduct this Thursday.

a. If immigrants are granted a visa, how come the police system still show that they

don’t care about the fact that they are granted a visa?

b. How does the U.S. get away with the dirty work they do to get rid of the

immigrants?

c. How does the trauma of these people affect how they go on with their lives?

4. What is your plan for research? Where will you go to research and find your sources?

Explain your plan for research.

a. Research my topics and get informed as much as I can to understand my prompt

more clearly. I will use the techniques that I learned from Fall quarter to research

my topics and I will also see if I can interview a couple of people I know that
either dealt with or are dealing with this problem. Getting second-hand experience

is a powerful analysis to add to any essay.