Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Jasmine Moreno
English 114 B
2 February 2018
From the moment boys are born, they are taught to man up and conceal emotions that may be
seen as fragile. At a young age, they tend to admire superhero personas that portray masculinity
and heroism. Instinctively, these boys develop a mindset that embraces the idealistic qualities a
real man should have. Although there are many perceptions on what it means to be a man, the
most common stereotypes society expects from men are to be physically strong, authoritative,
and show no weakness. These stereotypical characteristics have had a great influence on men in
When asked what a real man is compared to a good man, most people will respond with
different answers just like the students of Dr. Kimmel. Dr. Kimmel is a sociology professor, he is
also the founder and director of the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony
Brook University. In the article, “A Master’s Degree in…Masculinity”, the author Jessica
Bennett writes about Dr. Kimmel’s conversation with his students and his view on masculinity.
When he asked “what does it mean to be a good man?”, the students responded with “carrying”,
“putting other’s needs before yours”, and “honest”. Then he asked “what does it mean to be a
real man?”. They answered fast this time saying “take charge; be authoritative”, “take risks”, and
“it means suppressing any kind of weakness”. To Dr. Kimmel this revealed that the people in
I also agree with Dr. Kimmel that people in America are confused on what it means to be a
man. We have so many influences from pop culture telling us what a real man is and we choose
to believe and follow it. Everything from sports, music, books, movies, and television shows
portray how society sees men. For example, in films and television shows men are still viewed to
objectify women. Most action films and shows also display men as aggressive and violent. Since
these are all seen as signs of “masculinity” most male roles will have these characteristics. We
fail to realize that characteristics of a real man are different for everyone.
The documentary The Mask You Live In by director Jennifer Newsom, discusses how in
America we have “created an idea of masculinity where men do not feel safe in their own
masculinity”. Due to this lack of safety men constantly feel the need to prove themselves to
others. They have to be athletic, muscular, a womanizer, and never show emotion. If any boy
was ever to mess up or not meet certain expectations they would be bullied. To avoid being
bullied a boy in the film even distanced himself from his close friend. Since his friend did not
demonstrate masculine characteristics he did not want to be seen associating with him or else he
would also seem less masculine. Instead he made new friends, became an athlete, and dated the
head cheerleader.
These expectations that men do their best to meet end up hurting them in the long run. For
example, men are expected to be strong and show no emotion. They have to bottle up everything
they feel because it would seem weak if they did not. Instead they hide behind a mask and tell
everyone they are fine. The problem with holding back emotions is if a person keeps them for so
long they begin to accumulate until one day they will just explode and it can possibly destroy
them. They may even use alcohol and drugs as outlets or distractions which is unhealthy. This is
what happened to a boy in the film who was dealing with so much pain. His parents had divorced
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and to top it all off his father was deported back to Mexico. He now lives with his mother in the
United States with his two other siblings. He felt he could never express himself without it being
seen as a sign of weakness. Instead he decided to use drugs and drink to relief his problems, of
Boys that hold back emotions often feel alone and believe there is no escape which develops
into mental health illnesses and can lead to suicide. According to the documentary, “fewer than
50 percent of boys and men with mental health challenges seek help”. This characteristic of
having to show no emotion not only increases chances of developing a mental illness for boys
but also prevents them from seeking help. The documentary also states that, “the third leading
cause of death for boys is suicide”. If only they had someone to talk to or knew it was okay to
express themselves the statistics would be very different. Although these statistics are upsetting
they are also an eye opener to society. It makes people question if these expectations they have
for boys will benefit them in the long run or ruin them.
Personally, I do not know what it means to be a man, but I believe it means something
different for everyone. I grew up as an only child although I do have two older half-brothers. My
half-brothers never lived in the same house as me therefore I never witnessed their behaviors
growing up. The only representation of a man I had in my family was my father. My father is my
family’s rock, we depend on him financially and emotionally. He always says he has to be strong
for my mom and I in difficult situations but he never hides his emotions when things get really
In conclusion, due to the society we live in today men are confused on what it means to be a
man. We need to inform boys from a young age that they need to be themselves. Teach them that
it is okay to show emotions and that being physically strong does not determine a person’s
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manliness. Allow them to be in theater and strive for good grades without being seen as “not
cool” or even be bullied. We need to move away from stereotypes and allow them to be their
Works Cited
Bennett, Jessica. "A Master's Degree in ... Masculinity?" The New York Times. The New York
<https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/09/fashion/masculinities-studies-stonybrook-
michael-kimmel.html>.
The Mask You Live In. Directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. Representation Project, 2015.
Netflix,https://www.netflix.com/watch/80076159?trackId=14170286&tctx=1%2C0%2C7
cf92041-294d-447b-a4f6-938333f12730-3070989