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A Quick Glance on Filipino Culture and Society

Family and Family Values

. At the nucleus of the social structure of every Filipino is


the family, which includes the nuclear or the extended
family composed of aunts (tita), uncles (tito), grandparents
(lolo for grandfather and lola for grandmother), cousins
(pinsan) and other non-blood related individuals such as
godparents (ninong for Godfather and ninang for
godmother), sponsors during baptisms, weddings or other
religion-related rites of passage, and close family friends or
even neighbors, are also often referred to as aunts and
uncles.

. Filipinos gain their strength, stability, and sense of self


from their families. Relatedly, many Filipino parents invite
close friends and other relatives to be the godparents of
their children, the more godparents a child has, the better.
Furthermore, it is considered ill-mannered to decline an
invitation of godparentship.

. A show of assistance in the seeking and acquiring of


employment of extended family members and vice-versa is
seen as a sign of concern and care for each other.

. In the Filipino workplace, it is common to see that


members of the same family are working together.
Employment is scarce and it is a firm belief in the society
that trusting a relative is better than trusting a strange co-
worker.

Filipino Concept of Shame: a Motivational Tool

. The Filipino concept of shame, called "Hiya" is a primal,


motivating influence on an individual's actions and
demeanor.

. Having "Hiya" moves a person to conform to the norms of


social propriety and adhere to and espouse accepted social
and cultural behavior and sensitivity.

. If a Filipino does not live up to these set of accepted


modes of social behavior and propriety, he then feels that
he not only brought shame to himself, but also to his
family and his family's name.

. An example of “Hiya” at work might be a willingness of a


person to spend more than what they can actually afford
on a party or a get-together rather than be shamed into
admitting to a dire economic circumstance.

. A feeling of shame and loss of self-esteem is felt strongly


by an individual when he is publicly embarrassed or
humiliated, criticized, or does not live up to expectations.

General Etiquette and Protocol in Social Parties

Meeting and Greeting People

. It is accepted social behavior upon initial greetings and


introductions to follow a formal set of protocol, such as
acknowledging the eldest or most important person first.

. A welcoming and warm smile coupled with a hearty


handshake, is the standard polite gesture, accompanied by
the greeting “Musta na? or Kamusta na?”.

. A hug and kiss or a cheek to cheek rub between close


female friends is considered acceptable greeting when they
meet. This gesture of greeting called “beso beso”, coined
from the spanish word “beso”, meaning “kiss”. In Western
culture, this is called “air kissing”.

. It is considered polite to use the honorific, academic,


and/or professional titles of a person with his surname until
you are invited to adress them on a first-name or a
nickname basis.
Giving Gifts the Proper Filipino Way

. If you are invited to a Filipino home for any meal, it is


considered good manners to bring sweets for dessert or
flowers to the hosts.

. If you bring flowers, it is best to make sure that you bring


flowers that are not associated with typical Filipino
funerals, such as chrysanthemums and white lilies.

. Sending a “thank you” fruit basket after the occasion is


seen as a sign of generosity and good manners, but it must
not be given before of during the event as the gesture may
be misconstrued as an assumption on your behalf that you
may think the hosts may not provide enough hospitality.

. As much as possible, gifts must be wrapped elegantly as


the presentation is also important; an indication that the
giver took time to prepare the token.

. Gifts are not opened in the presence of the gift-giver,


most especially right after receiving the present, as it may
be seen as a sign of over-eagerness. Also, it may save the
gift giver any embarrassment in case the host expresses a
less than expected level of enthusiasm upon seeing what
the gift is.

Holding Oneself at the Filipino Dining Table

If you are invited to a Filipino's house:

. Arriving 15 to 30 minutes later than the actual announced


start of a large party is seen as fashionable.

. Under any circumstances, you should never refer to any


female host of a party as a hostess. The word “hostess”
has a negative connotation in Filipino English, equivalent to
that of the semantic meaning of the word prostitute.

. Dressing well is seen as a proper homage to the invite to


the party, as appearances matter, people are also judged
on how they dress.

. Complimenting the hosts/hostesses on their house, their


appearance, and the party itself, is considered as a sign of
good manners.

Table manners:

. Waiting to be invited several times before moving into the


dining/buffet area or helping oneself to food, although may
be misconstrued as a lack of enthusiasm, is more often
seen as fashionable. It saves a person from being called
“patay-gutom”, a demeaning term which means over eager
to eat, connoting that the person has inadequate food
supply in their home which leads them to gorge
themselves in the party.

. It is typical in a party that family members and extended


members sit together in the same table, that is why it is
wiser to wait to be told where to sit, as there may also be
a seating plan.

. It is seen as a sign of politeness to wait for the invitation


from the host or other people to pick up your utensils to
eat before eating. He may enthusiastically say “Kain na
tayo” or “Kain na”, meaning “Let's eat”. You may also hear
an enthusiastic chorus of “kainan na” which means “it's
eating time!”

. Family-style servings or buffet type meal presentations


are most commonplace in Filipino parties.

. A fork (tinidor) and spoon (kutsara) are the typical eating


utensils in a typical party. The spoon is used more
predominantly than the fork, unlike in Western dining
where forks with steak knives are more popularly used. In
Filipino dining, the fork is basically used to assist the spoon
in moving the food around the plate (plato or pinggan).

. Leaving some food on your plate or finishing everything


on it is a matter of personal choice and is not tinged with
socio-cultural color, unlike the Chinese preference of
leaving no leftover food (called tira-tira Filipino language)
on the plate. Sometimes when there are plenty of leftover
food from a party, the hosts may invite you to bring home
some, this take-home/ take-away leftover is called
“pabalot” or “pabaon”.

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