At the nucleus of the social structure of every Filipino is the family. Many parents invite close friends and other relatives to be the godparents of their children. The Filipino concept of shame, called "Hiya," is a motivating influence.
At the nucleus of the social structure of every Filipino is the family. Many parents invite close friends and other relatives to be the godparents of their children. The Filipino concept of shame, called "Hiya," is a motivating influence.
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At the nucleus of the social structure of every Filipino is the family. Many parents invite close friends and other relatives to be the godparents of their children. The Filipino concept of shame, called "Hiya," is a motivating influence.
Copyright:
Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Available Formats
Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
. At the nucleus of the social structure of every Filipino is
the family, which includes the nuclear or the extended family composed of aunts (tita), uncles (tito), grandparents (lolo for grandfather and lola for grandmother), cousins (pinsan) and other non-blood related individuals such as godparents (ninong for Godfather and ninang for godmother), sponsors during baptisms, weddings or other religion-related rites of passage, and close family friends or even neighbors, are also often referred to as aunts and uncles.
. Filipinos gain their strength, stability, and sense of self
from their families. Relatedly, many Filipino parents invite close friends and other relatives to be the godparents of their children, the more godparents a child has, the better. Furthermore, it is considered ill-mannered to decline an invitation of godparentship.
. A show of assistance in the seeking and acquiring of
employment of extended family members and vice-versa is seen as a sign of concern and care for each other.
. In the Filipino workplace, it is common to see that
members of the same family are working together. Employment is scarce and it is a firm belief in the society that trusting a relative is better than trusting a strange co- worker.
Filipino Concept of Shame: a Motivational Tool
. The Filipino concept of shame, called "Hiya" is a primal,
motivating influence on an individual's actions and demeanor.
. Having "Hiya" moves a person to conform to the norms of
social propriety and adhere to and espouse accepted social and cultural behavior and sensitivity.
. If a Filipino does not live up to these set of accepted
modes of social behavior and propriety, he then feels that he not only brought shame to himself, but also to his family and his family's name.
. An example of “Hiya” at work might be a willingness of a
person to spend more than what they can actually afford on a party or a get-together rather than be shamed into admitting to a dire economic circumstance.
. A feeling of shame and loss of self-esteem is felt strongly
by an individual when he is publicly embarrassed or humiliated, criticized, or does not live up to expectations.
General Etiquette and Protocol in Social Parties
Meeting and Greeting People
. It is accepted social behavior upon initial greetings and
introductions to follow a formal set of protocol, such as acknowledging the eldest or most important person first.
. A welcoming and warm smile coupled with a hearty
handshake, is the standard polite gesture, accompanied by the greeting “Musta na? or Kamusta na?”.
. A hug and kiss or a cheek to cheek rub between close
female friends is considered acceptable greeting when they meet. This gesture of greeting called “beso beso”, coined from the spanish word “beso”, meaning “kiss”. In Western culture, this is called “air kissing”.
. It is considered polite to use the honorific, academic,
and/or professional titles of a person with his surname until you are invited to adress them on a first-name or a nickname basis. Giving Gifts the Proper Filipino Way
. If you are invited to a Filipino home for any meal, it is
considered good manners to bring sweets for dessert or flowers to the hosts.
. If you bring flowers, it is best to make sure that you bring
flowers that are not associated with typical Filipino funerals, such as chrysanthemums and white lilies.
. Sending a “thank you” fruit basket after the occasion is
seen as a sign of generosity and good manners, but it must not be given before of during the event as the gesture may be misconstrued as an assumption on your behalf that you may think the hosts may not provide enough hospitality.
. As much as possible, gifts must be wrapped elegantly as
the presentation is also important; an indication that the giver took time to prepare the token.
. Gifts are not opened in the presence of the gift-giver,
most especially right after receiving the present, as it may be seen as a sign of over-eagerness. Also, it may save the gift giver any embarrassment in case the host expresses a less than expected level of enthusiasm upon seeing what the gift is.
Holding Oneself at the Filipino Dining Table
If you are invited to a Filipino's house:
. Arriving 15 to 30 minutes later than the actual announced
start of a large party is seen as fashionable.
. Under any circumstances, you should never refer to any
female host of a party as a hostess. The word “hostess” has a negative connotation in Filipino English, equivalent to that of the semantic meaning of the word prostitute.
. Dressing well is seen as a proper homage to the invite to
the party, as appearances matter, people are also judged on how they dress.
. Complimenting the hosts/hostesses on their house, their
appearance, and the party itself, is considered as a sign of good manners.
Table manners:
. Waiting to be invited several times before moving into the
dining/buffet area or helping oneself to food, although may be misconstrued as a lack of enthusiasm, is more often seen as fashionable. It saves a person from being called “patay-gutom”, a demeaning term which means over eager to eat, connoting that the person has inadequate food supply in their home which leads them to gorge themselves in the party.
. It is typical in a party that family members and extended
members sit together in the same table, that is why it is wiser to wait to be told where to sit, as there may also be a seating plan.
. It is seen as a sign of politeness to wait for the invitation
from the host or other people to pick up your utensils to eat before eating. He may enthusiastically say “Kain na tayo” or “Kain na”, meaning “Let's eat”. You may also hear an enthusiastic chorus of “kainan na” which means “it's eating time!”
. Family-style servings or buffet type meal presentations
are most commonplace in Filipino parties.
. A fork (tinidor) and spoon (kutsara) are the typical eating
utensils in a typical party. The spoon is used more predominantly than the fork, unlike in Western dining where forks with steak knives are more popularly used. In Filipino dining, the fork is basically used to assist the spoon in moving the food around the plate (plato or pinggan).
. Leaving some food on your plate or finishing everything
on it is a matter of personal choice and is not tinged with socio-cultural color, unlike the Chinese preference of leaving no leftover food (called tira-tira Filipino language) on the plate. Sometimes when there are plenty of leftover food from a party, the hosts may invite you to bring home some, this take-home/ take-away leftover is called “pabalot” or “pabaon”.