FILL IN YOUR
_________
Yeti Detective
(1 Noun) ________
(2 Adjective) ________
(3 Verb) ________
(4 Verb) ________
(5 Verb) ________
(6 Noun) ________
(7 Noun) ________
(8 Contraband) ________
(9 Ingredient) ________
(10 Ingredient) ________
(11 Dangerous Substance) ________
(12 Dangerous Substance) ________
(13 Name) ________
(14 Sexy Noun) ________
(15 Mind Altering Substance) ________
(16 Crime Verb) ________
(17 Depressing Adjective) ________
(18 Noun) ________
(19 Violence Verb) ________
(20 Bodily Fluid) ________
(21 Metallurgy Noun) ________
(22 Derogatory Noun) ________
(23 Name) ________
(24 Event) ________
(25 Biological Function) ________
(26 Biological Function) ________
(27 Biological Function) ________
(28 Biological Function) ________
(29 Biological Function) ________
(30 Relieving Verb) ________
(31 Sex Crime) ________
(32 Adjective) ________
(33 Adjective) ________
(34 Disgusting Noun) ________
(35 Disgusting Noun) ________
(36 Biological Function) ________
(37 Bodily Fluid) ____________
I don’t eat much _____1_____
anymore, but back when I was 20 I
liked it raw, hot and ____2____ in my
mouth. My roommate and I would
____3____ in the parking lot of our
apartment under cover of darkness.
We thought it was hilarious to do it in
public. Besides, it’s not like we could
____4____ inside.
Everyone was always like,
“Guys, aren’t you afraid somebody’s
going to call the cops?”
The truth is, it wouldn’t have
been as exciting if there that wasn’t
a possibility. But either nobody ever
called the cops, or the cops didn’t care
about two white boys ____5____ing
____6____ over a six-foot ____7____ in
that neighborhood.
It’s not like that’s the worst
thing we ever did when we lived there,
anyway. Nobody called the cops when
we figured out how to make ____8____
with ____9____ and ____10____ and
the place filled up with ____11____
so we just left and hoped it would air
out before we got back even though
those two junkies were still passed
out inside. They’d probably rather risk
____12____ poisoning than miss a nap,
anyway. The one who’s still alive, that
is.
That was a fun apartment,
and ____13____ was my all time fa-
vorite roommate. I could live with
him forever. And it’s not even a gay
thing. We’re just two guys, full of lust
for ____14____ , and sometimes we
like to drink ____15____ and wander
around town at night looking for cops
to ___16___.
Once, on a particularly
____17____ night, I was one hundred
percent off my tits, and I became con-
cerned that my friend was insecure
about his ___18____. So I invited him
to prove himself by ___19___ing me in
the face. Of course, he took the oppor-
tunity, and the next thing I remember is
waking up 6 hours later in a bathtub full
of my own ___20___. Cheeky bastard.
But that’s what friends are
for when you get right down to brass
___21___.
Last story for you ingrateful
___22____s. ____23____ and I were
driving to the ___24___ when I stopped
and said, “Oh, no. I have to ___25___,
and I don’t think I’m going to make it.”
He surveyed the landscape,
spying a prime opportunity.
“There’s a church over there.
You could ____26____ on it. I kind of
need to ___27___, too. Perhaps I’ll join
you. We can show god what we think
of him by ____28____ing on his house.”
“You, sir,” said I, “are a ge-
nius.” And thus began a long tradition
of he and I ____29____ing on every
church we came across during road
trips. Or, if we are at someone’s house
who lives reasonably near a church,
and either or both of us feels the urge
to ____30____, we’ll just walk down the
road and ____31____ right on it. You
have no idea how ____32____ this is to
two boys/men who were raised in op-
pressive ___33____ environments.
One time we were on our way
to what we were unaware would be a
terribly unrewarding concert. We were
running early and looking for some way
to kill a few minutes when we spotted
a heretofore unsullied (by us at least)
church. It was still daylight, so we
pulled the car around to the back, out
of sight of any concerned passers by,
and also to make sure there were no
cars in the lot, indicating human pres-
ence within. We didn’t find any cars,
but what we did see would stay with us
for years.
You cannot imagine the feeling
of being one of the lucky few to ever
behold a ____34____, bare and avail-
able to all comers, in the back park-
ing lot of a CHURCH! Now, I’m not a
church-goer, so maybe that’s exactly
the sort of thing one expects to be
occupying the back parking lot, but
neither of us had ever witnessed this
despite our little hobby which by this
time had been ongoing for many years
and had claimed many “victims,” so to
speak.
Do not make the mistake of
assuming that our good fortune end-
ed there. No. Not only was there a
____35____ left free for our enjoyment,
but her twin lay in the same state next
to her! One for each of us! Such a
gift horse was not to be looked in the
mouth, and for the first time ever, each
of us ____36____ed simultaneously on
something other than a church.
It has crossed my mind since
that day that perhaps our deeds had
been discovered, and someone alert-
ed the local clergy as to our meth-
ods, prompting one clever minister
to place a sort of “lighting rod” on his
holy grounds, that our ____37____ be
spilled upon something other than his
precious mother church.
To this day, such an event still
seems too good to have been mere
happenstance.
SUBMIT
YOUR THOUGHTS, ARTICLES,
THINGS OVERHEARD, SEXY
TIME PHOTOS, TALES OF
HILARITY, INTERNSHIP APPLI-
CATIONS, PRAYER REQUESTS,
POSTCARDS FROM EXOTIC
LOCALES & OTHER GENERAL
INQUIRES TO WHAT.WHITE.
ELEPHANT@GMAIL.
COM & YOU COULD BE
FEATURED IN AN
UPCOMING ISSUE...
PROBABLY NOT THOUGH
5
MAD LIBS® is a game for people who don't like games!
It can be played by one, two, three, four, or forty.

• RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE DIRECTIONS

In this tablet you will find stories containing blank spaces where words are
left out. One player, the READER, selects one of these stories. The READER
does not tell anyone what the story is about. Instead, he/she asks the other
players, the WRITERS, to give him/her words. These words are used to fill
in the blank spaces in the story.

• TO PLAY
The READER asks each WRITER in turn to call out a word—an adjective or
a noun or whatever the space calls for—and uses them to fill in the blank
spaces in the story. The result is a MAD LIBS® game.

When the READER then reads the completed MAD LIBS® game to the other
players, they will discover that they have written a story that is fantastic,
screamingly funny, shocking, silly, crazy, or just plain dumb—depending
upon which words each WRITER called out.
In case you have forgotten what adjectives, adverbs, nouns, and
verbs are, here is a quick review:

An ADJECTIVE describes something or somebody. Lumpy, soft,

ugly, messy, and short are adjectives.

An ADVERB tells how something is done. It modifies a verb and

usually ends in "ly." Modestly, stupidly, greedily, and carefully are
adverbs.

A NOUN is the name of a person, place or thing. Sidewalk,

umbrella, bridle, bathtub, and nose are nouns.

A VERB is an action word. Run, pitch, jump, and swim are verbs.
Put the verbs in past tense if the directions say PAST TENSE. Ran,
pitched, jumped, and swam are verbs in the past tense.

When we ask for a PLACE, we mean any sort of place: a country

or city (Spain, Cleveland) or a room (bathroom, kitchen.)

An EXCLAMATION or SILLY WORD is any sort of funny sound,

gasp, grunt, or outcry, like Wow!, Ouch!, Whomp!, Ick!, and
Gadzooks!

When we ask for specific words, like a NUMBER, a COLOR, an

ANIMAL, or a PART OF THE BODY, we mean a word that is one
of those things, like seven, blue, horse, or head.

When we ask for a PLURAL, it means more than one. For example,
cat pluralized is cats.
MAD LIBS® is fun to play with friends, but you can also
play it by yourself! To begin with, DO NOT look at the
story on the page below. Fill in the blanks on this page
with the words called for. Then, using the words you
have selected, fill in the blank spaces in the story.
Now you've created your own hilarious MAD LIBS® game!
Four hundred years ago, people knew little about our
ADJECTIVE

universe. They thought that the earth was the center of the entire
and that the sun and all of the
NOUN PLURAL NOUN
revolved around it. But then a/an
NATIONALITY

named Copernicus discovered the truth. The earth revolves around

the times a year.
SOMETHING ROUND NUMBER
Copernicus, whose last name was , was born in
LAST NAME OF PERSON

Warsaw, and he used one of the first telescopes,

ADJECTIVE

which was invented by . This primitive

PERSON IN ROOM

telescope was little more than two pieces of stuck

TYPE OF FOOD

on each end of a/an .

NOUN

In 1600, an Italian named Galileo expanded

OCCUPATION

Copernicus' theories. But during the Inquisition

ADJECTIVE

in Italy, he was arrested. After

ADVERB VERB ENDING IN "ING"

for six months in jail, Galileo was forced to .

VERB
MAD LIBS® is fun to play with friends, but you can also
play it by yourself! To begin with, DO NOT look at the
story on the page below. Fill in the blanks on this page
with the words called for. Then, using the words you
have selected, fill in the blank spaces in the story.
Now you've created your own hilarious MAD LIBS® game!
When we look up into the sky on a/an summer
ADJECTIVE

night, we see millions of tiny spots of light. Each one represents a/an
which is the center of a/an
NOUN ADJECTIVE
solar system with dozens of revolving
PLURAL NOUN

around a distant sun. Sometimes these suns expand and

ADVERB

begin their neighbors. Soon they will become so

VERB ENDING IN "INS"

big, they will turn into . Eventually they subside

SILLY WORD (PLURAL)

and become giants or perhaps black .

ADJECTIVE PLURAL NOUN

Our own planet, which we call , circles around

FIRST NAME

our sun times every year. There are eight other

ADJECTIVE NUMBER

planets in our solar system. They are named ,

ANOTHER FIRST NAME

ANOTHER FIRST NAME ' ANOTHER FIRST NAME ANOTHER FIRST NAME

, Jupiter, and Mars. Scientists

ANOTHER FIRST NAME ANOTHER FIRST NAME
who study these planets are called .
PLURAL NOUN
The greatest true-life space story is the one about our astronauts
to the moon for the first time.
VERB ENDING IN "INS"
There were astronauts. We all remember their names:
NUMBER

, who was the expert in ;

PERSON IN ROOM NOUN

, a/an test pilot with a

ANOTHER PERSON IN ROOM ADJECTIVE

Ph.D. in ; and , who

PLURAL NOUN ANOTHER PERSON IN ROOM

was the ship's and conducted a series

PROFESSION

of really experiments with

ADJECTIVE COLOR

mice and . It was a great day for America

PLURAL NOUN

when they landed and said,"Whatta ya know? It really is made out

of ."
TYPE OF DAIRY FOOD
The adventures of Captain Zoom, Space . Captain
NOUN

Zoom is a superhero who wears a/an cape and

COLOR

a/an suit of long underwear. He has his own

COLOR

rocket ship, which takes him all over the universe.

ADJECTIVE

His ship is fueled by mixed with

TYPE OF FOOD TYPE OF LIQUID

and can go miles per hour.

NUMBER

Captain Zoom loves to go to the assistance of poor

PLURAL NOUN

who are in trouble. When he hears of such a/an

ADJECTIVE

situation, he leaps into his ship and zooms off into

ADVERB

the wild yonder. He journeys throughout the galaxy,

COLOR

sometimes going as far as . He has a/an

PLACE ADJECTIVE

companion who goes with him on all of his adventures.

His companion is a -year-old boy whose name is
NUMBER

but who is called" ."

PERSON IN ROOM (MALE) SILLY WORD

To read more about Captain Zoom, go to the

ADVERB

next Mad Lib.

One day Captain Zoom heard that a group of
NATIONALITY

had been picked up by some little green

PLURAL NOUN

who were in a flying saucer. He learned they

PLURAL NOUN

were locked in a/an on the

TYPE OF CONTAINER ADJECTIVE

planet Hang-On.
At once he called to his companion,"Hey, Shorty,
ADJECTIVE

get the spacecraft warmed up. We are going to ."

PLACE

And off they zoomed, around the moon and

VERB ENDING IN "INS"

past Mars. In no time at all they landed on Hang-On. When Captain

Zoom stepped out of his ship, he said," !"
EXCLAMATION
because the first thing he saw was a purple which
NOUN
was eating a long, thin . He whipped out his Super
SOMETHING ALIVE

Ray Gun and blasted away until he had

ADJECTIVE * VERB (PAST TENSE)

everything in sight. "Now, Shorty," he said ,"let's

ADVERB

see if we can find some to rescue."

PLURAL NOUN
"Although I cannot be your King," Captain Zoom told
NOUN

the natives of Hang-On, "I will be your

ADJECTIVE

. And I will you like a father."

NOUN VERB

At this, the natives cheered." !" they shouted

EXCLAMATION

. And they began pelting the good captain with

ADVERB

overripe , which was how they showed respect and

PLURAL NOUN

. Then they took him to their local

EMOTION TYPE OF BUILDING

and released all of the earth people they had

VERB (PAST TENSE)

with their flying . So Captain Zoom

SOMETHING ON THE DINNER TABLE

put them all on his space ,

ADJECTIVE TYPE OF VEHICLE
set it for" "Warp, and went back to Earth. They
NOUN

all lived ever after.

ADVERB
Dear Earthling:
I am a teenage who lives in a two-story
NOUN

on Mars. I will put this letter in a/an

NOUN

bottle and it into space and

ADJECTIVE VERB

hope that it gets to Earth.

Of course, on Mars we call your planet
ADJECTIVE

. We know that it is inhabited by

NAME OF PERSON ADJECTIVE

little pink men and women, but I would like to hear from you any-
way. Tell me, how do you people your food?
VERB
We do it by rapidly.
VERB ENDING IN "ING"

I hope you will be able to visit me someday. You could stay in our
and eat just like we do, and you
NOUN PLURAL NOUN
could play with my pet .
NOUN
Last Thursday, two men were
TOWN

in a/an field near

VERB ENDING IN "ING" NOUN

, Indiana. Suddenly, one of them said,

TOWN

"Hey, , look up there at that bright, silvery

NAME OF PERSON (MALE)

floating over our !"

TYPE OF VEHICLE PLURAL NOUN

And before his friend could reply, a powerful light shot

COLOR

down and lifted them into a strange flying . Inside,

NOUN

they were greeted by tiny green and given a

SOMETHING ALIVE (PLURAL)

dinner of French-fried and beans.

PLURAL NOUN COLOR

Afterwards, they flew to the planet and met the

SILLY WORD

inhabitants. Then the flying machine brought them

ADJECTIVE

back to , Indiana. The men told our reporter

SAME TOWN

that it was really a/an experience.

ADJECTIVE
A spaceship is a vehicle used for people
VERB ENDIN6 IN "ING"

between Earth and the distant . A journey

PLURAL NOUN

usually takes years and can cover miles. The

NUMBER NUMBER

passengers have to enter a/an capsule and will

ADJECTIVE

exist in a state of animation. When the ship reaches

ADJECTIVE

its destination, they will hear a/an and wake up and

NOUN

put on their . Then they have to land their

ARTICLE OF CLOTHING

-ton vehicle in a/an

NUMBER TYPE OF METAL ADJECTIVE

atmosphere. They do this by firing the retro .

PLURAL NOUN

Then they test the atmosphere on this planet to make

ADJECTIVE

sure it contains and is not all .

TYPE OF GAS ' ANOTHER TYPE OF GAS

If it is okay, they can get out of the ship very and

ADVERB

all of the inhabitants.

VERB
Dear Mr. ,
SILLY WORD

My favorite TV show is that adventure in

ADJECTIVE

outer space called "Star ." You and Captain

NOUN

are my favorite . When I watch

NAME OF PERSON (MALE) PLURAL NOUN

this show I sometimes feel I am actually on the

ADJECTIVE

Star Ship and I am going

PERSON IN ROOM ADVERB

into those far of the Universe, where no

PLURAL NOUN

has ever gone before.

NOUN

I like it when the aliens try to trap you and your crew
ADJECTIVE

and you use your logical mind to outsmart them.

ADJECTIVE

I go to all the "Star " conventions and buy all of the

NOUN

little toys and dolls even though I am years old. But the
NUMBER

real reason I wrote to you, Mr. , is because

SAME SILLY WORD
I want you to send me an autographed .
NOUN
Space travel is the result of the discovery of rocket power. Many years

ago, a European named

NOUN NAME OF PERSON (MALE)

began experimenting with a long hollow that had

NOUN

an explosive mixture of sodium and at one end.

PLURAL NOUN

He put this device on an inclined board and aimed

ADJECTIVE

it at . Then he poured hydrochloric on

PLACE TYPE OF L I Q U I D

the sodium, and the whole thing for ten minutes.

VERB (PAST TENSE)

When he regained consciousness, he said," !"

EXCLAMATION
and packed up his clothes and and moved to
PLURAL NOUN
Amsterdam, where he married a/an widow who
ADJECTIVE

owned a shop.
NOUN

Some years later, the world became aware of rockets when a scientist

at University named sent

CITY NAME OF PERSON (FEMALE)
off to for one. And that is why today we are
DEPARTMENT STORE
able to fly to the moon.
ADVERB
Twinkle, twinkle little ,
NOUN
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the so high,
NOUN

Just like a/an in the sky.

NOUN

Hey diddle diddle, the

ANIMAL

and the ,
MUSICAL INSTRUMENT

The cow jumped over the .

NOUN

The little dog to see such sport,

VERB (PAST TENSE)

And the ran away with the spoon.

NOUN

Star light, star bright, first I see tonight.

NOUN

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the I tonight.
NOUN VERB (PAST TENSE)
The Earth is a/an little planet on the outer
ADJECTIVE

edge of a/an galaxy called .

ADJECTIVE ' ' FIRST NAME OF PERSON

The center of this galaxy is called the Milky , and it

NOUN

extends for parsecs. A parsec is a metric

NUMBER NOUN

that is used to measure the vast distances between .

PLURAL NOUN

There are a million billion planets in our galaxy, and they are all
drawing away from each other at the rate of
ADVERB
miles a year. The little spots of light
NUMBER ADJECTIVE

we see in the sky and which we call are really

PLURAL NOUN

suns in distant solar systems. Each of these suns has dozens of huge
spinning in orbit around it.
PLURAL NOUN

Now, that is the way it is, so you can stop about

VERB ENDING IN "ING"

it. If you don't like the universe, you can always go someplace else.
Here is a really bargain in solid
ADJECTIVE TYPE OF METAL

. These handsome but gifts

PLURAL NOUN ADJECTIVE

can be used to hold down your 'while you're

TYPE OF APPLIANCE

having your morning cup of . Guaranteed for

TYPE OF L I Q U I D

eons and only fourteen gold each.

NUMBER PLURAL NOUN

Dress up your room with one of these folding

NOUN

. Comes with white enamel and

PLURAL NOUN PLURAL NOUN

is delivered by Arcturian Express. Completely

ADVERB

assembled except for the rest which is easily

PART OF THE BODY

installed with a/an and some .

TYPE OF TOOL SOMETHING STICKY

A most welcome gift for the Season that will

NOUN

bring hours of happiness to you and your little

ADJECTIVE

SOMETHING ALIVE (PLURAL)

If you run into an alien who comes from some
NOUN

other planet which revolves around a distant

ADJECTIVE

in another galaxy, do not be .

SOMETHING ROUND ADJECTIVE

If it says, "Take me to your ," you must act

OCCUPATION

friendly and say," !"

EXCLAMATION

Remember, extraterrestrial are not necessarily

PLURAL NOUN

hostile. Many of them are and all they want is to

ADJECTIVE

put you in one of their and fly you off for a

PLURAL NOUN

vacation in . So offer them a few

PLACE TYPE OF FOOD (PLURAL)

or take them out to a movie. If you do, maybe they will tell you the
secret of telepathy or how they power their
ADJECTIVE
rocket . If you treat an extra-terrestrial
TYPE OF VEHICLE (PLURAL)

you may make a new friend.

ADVERB
When people begin in outer space, they
VERB ENDING IN "ING"
will have to spend years just getting to the nearest solar
NUMBER
system, called . At first, travelers will
NAME OF PERSON (FEMALE)
probably be frozen and put in a/an . Then,
PIECE OF FURNITURE
when the ship arrives, the travelers will be .
VERB (PAST TENSE)

Eventually scientists may invent a/an transporter

NOUN
like the one they used on the TV show," Trek."
NOUN
It will break down all parts of the human into
NOUN
atoms and . Then these will be broadcast like
PLURAL NOUN
TV waves and reassembled miles
ADJECTIVE NUMBER
away. If this doesn't work, engineers are
VERB ENDING IN "INS"
now, trying to perfect a/an drive that will run a
ADJECTIVE
spaceship faster than the speed of . But of course
PLURAL NOUN
scientists such as say this is a lot of
PERSON IN ROOM
wash. So maybe humans should forget space travel
ANIMAL
and try to solve the traffic problems on Earth.
ADJECTIVE
On Pluto, the gravity is times as strong as it is in
NUMBER

. So if you are a young

CITY SOMETHING ALIVE

there and you want to look good, here is what you should do. First go
to a beauty parlor and get a/an haircut by a/an
ADJECTIVE
Plutonian barber. Make sure he keeps your hair out
ADJECTIVE

of your so you can show off your .

PLURAL NOUN PLURAL NOUN

This is the fashion on Pluto today.

ADJECTIVE

Then spray yourself with and put on an aluminum

TYPE OF L I Q U I D

foil and high-heel .

ARTICLE OF CLOTHING PLURAL NOUN

Makeup is as important on Pluto as it is on Earth, so put some bright

lipstick on your and use a nice
COLOR PART OF THE FACE
shadow. If you follow this advice, you will get
PART OF THE FACE

your picture on the covers of all their .

PLURAL NOUN
QUESTION: What happens if I purchase a/an
NOUN

and then the government decides to build a/an

right through my ?
NOUN NOUN

ANSWER: The value of all of your will drop

PLURAL NOUN

and your will probably stop

PLURAL NOUN

working due to the noise. Frankly,

ADJECTIVE

you will be up the creek without a/an .

NOUN

QUESTION: I want to adopt a/an . How do

NOUN

I go about it?

ANSWER: You may adopt a/an on Mars simply

NOUN
by looking at it and saying," ." But
EXCLAMATION
on Venus, you have to hop on one
PART OF THE BODY
at the same time, preferably while riding a/an

TYPE OF VEHICLE
Dear ,
SILLY FIRST NAME LAST NAME OF PERSON

I am writing to you from the planet because

ANOTHER LAST NAME

I saw your picture on the electronic , and I

TYPE OF APPLIANCE

think you are very . You have the five prettiest

ADJECTIVE

I have ever seen. And your

PART OF THE BODY (PLURAL) NOUN

is out of this galaxy. I certainly hope that you are a

NOUN

of the opposite sex. If you are, and if you aren't a/an ,

OCCUPATION

then I would like you to be my . If you read this

OCCUPATION

and your answer is" ," then I will contact your

EXCLAMATION

father, Darth Vader, and formally ask for your . My

PART OF THE BODY

father tells me that two can live as

ADJECTIVE ADVERB

as one, so we can afford to buy a little condo in

PLACE

and settle down and raise some sweet little .

PLURAL NOUN

Please to me right away and send a photograph.

VERB
Calling all . This is ,
PLURAL NOUN SILLY NAME

your Martian police . All of you patrol

NOUN

keep all of your eyes peeled for a

PLURAL NOUN NUMBER

. When last seen, he was wearing a double-

NAME OF PERSON (MALE)

breasted . He is wanted for questioning in a/an

ARTICLE OF CLOTHING

robbery and was seen by several

ADJECTIVE PLURAL NOUN

who state he was and

VERB ENDING IN "ING" VERB ENDING IN "ING"
in the vicinity of the state house.
NOUN

If you see this , approach

ADJECTIVE NOUN

him because he may be carrying a loaded

ADVERB

. Also, he has been known to use the alias

NOUN

the . That is all.

SILLY WORD ANOTHER SILLY WORD