Dealing with stress

1. Do not hold things in and suppress it. The fastest way to get over an emotion is to get into it
and feel it so you get over it quickly. So you have to go through it to get over it. Practically how
can you do this:-

- turn to Allah with your pain just like the Prophets did and praying tahajjud. This is the time of
healing. Crying in tahajjud and making dua. Allah is the doctor and the healer,

- The quran is a healing of the hearts,

- Sometimes its necessary to go to the creation for help= counsellor, family member. Just like
when the Prophet SAW went to his wife Khadija RA and asked her to cover him zamillooni.
Hence surah muzammil. No shame in getting help from creation.

- Put your trust in Allah and take action. E.g. saaeee in umrah and hajj means to strive like Hajar
rA.

- But even though u r taking action you have to realise that it’s Allah that will save u and the
medicine and ur action are just tools that Allah is using to heal u.

2. Do not rely on yourself

- don’t waste your efforts not eating, not sleeping. You weren’t created to carry a mountain.

- When a person feels like its all their responsibility to fix stuff it becomes a disease for them, you
have to give your reliance and trust to Allah and do ur part.

- Let go of the illusion of control. And build your tawakkul.

3. How to practically put your trust in Allah

- increase your duas

- Do istikharah . This is a gift to do for all decisions. But this dua doesn’t say protect me from
pain= it’s asking whats best for me and maybe what’s best for you to learn and grow and purify
you is to go out of your comfort zone and is painful.

- 3 types of dream= from Allah, from Shaytan and from your nafs.

4. Self care and self compassion

- don’t be too hard on yourself and take care of your health and mental wellbeing. This is not
selfishness, infact it allows you to increase in happiness.

Dealing with depression

1. Daily practice of gratitude
- write down 3 to 5 things you are grateful for each day, research shows it treats depression.

- Allah says if you are thankful I will give you more

2. If you are going to always focus on problems then they will become the focus of your life and
you will not see your blessings and appreciate them.
- inna ma’al usrii yusra. Allah is not saying that you will have only problems and then after that
you will get ease, He is saying that at the same time as you have this SINGULAR problem, you
have MANY eases with it. But you choose what you focus on. And what you choose to focus
on will grow. Focus on blessings, in your perception you will feel rich and be grateful.

- E.g. boy with cake and one slice missing and boy with only one slice of cake and he is grateful
for what he has whereas first one is focussing on what is missing

3. Stay away from the superficial approach. The importance of looks and appearance has
increased.

- e.g. if you are only being exposed to an instagram feed where it’s all makeup videos and
celebrity appearances. And this shifts your understanding of what matters most.

- If you change what you eat you change how you feel. Same way , if you change what you are
exposed to on social media, you will change how you feel.

- What is the quality of what you’re taking in? Is it just trivial stuff. This will lead to dissatisfaction
of your life and body and family.

- Your dissatisfaction is based on the delusion from a photoshopped portrait of an underweight

and malnourished sex object.

4. Change your thoughts.

- look at your negative thoughts in this way. They are like robbers that knocking on your door.
Would you let him in and stay for a while. No. And we wouldn’t feed the robber? Then why do
you feed your negative thoughts.

- Negative thoughts can be from shaytan = not smart, ugly, fat, a failure.

- Fear is a type of negative thought. How do you deal with this ?

> make dua to protect you and your family and provide for you

> ask yourself is there something you can do about it? And make sure its halal

 > if not, then leave it to Allah and do not feed it, leave it alone.

5. Fix your diet.

- The prophet SAW and Aisha rA used to give barley (talbeenah) to those who were depressed.

- Exercise and sleep. These can be more effective than medication

Unseen world.
1. ayn= evil eye.

- intense admiration for someone without remembering Allah , can be unintentionally

2. hasad = malicious jealousy.

- burns good deeds like fire

3. sihr = black magic : act of kufr.

- no matter what the intent was, whether to cause a good thing you are still making a deal with the
devil.

Cure
1. Prevention is better than being affected and cures. And rememberance of Allah is a protection
and prevention. This is for Sihr too.
- salah is the oxygen of the soul. And salah on time. E.g. if a doctor tells you a certain medication
needs to be taken at a certain time then you will take it. You have to will yourself to do it even
when you don’t feel like it, so you are at your low and even if it just feels like a series of
movements , you are still staying alive and you will quickly come back. If you neglect your
spiritual oxygen= you will only get lower and stay low for longer.

- umar RA said whoever lets go of prayer it’s as if he lost everything. Sth like this.

- Ayatul kursi, 3 quls.

- Quran = protection . Esp Surah Baqarah and ‘manzil’.

- Dhikr : APP: myduaa . This is a necessary app. Categories: protection ( from unseen, shaytan,
jinns etc), stress anxiety and depression, forgiveness (istighfaar). Morning and evening duas.
Sleep duas.

- Adhkar helps to stabilise emotional and mental state. And the times of sunrise and sunset are
when you are vulnerable.

- Anyone who makes excessive istighfaar, Allah takes them out if any difficulty, saves them from
anxiety, and provides them from where they could never imagine

- Laa hawla wa la quwata illa billah= cure for 99 ailments, from which stress and anxiety is
included.

2. Fortress of a muslim. This contains duas that will SHIELD yourself from the unseen NOT by
wearing a necklace. How do we protect ourselves- by remembering Allah by tongue and heart.
3. Stop advertising your blessings. The Prophet SAW said every blessing can be a means of envy
and hasad, so be discrete.
- this will bring upon you ayn, hasand and maybe even sihr. The things you post, maybe people
have just lost that thing.

4. Cure for sihr: specific

- ruqyah= manzil and also on youtube.

- If you go to a raaqi be careful because they might use magic to treat magic

- Do ruqyah on yourself too, blow it on water and on oil. Use the oil on ur body before ur sleep.

- alshatari in london is legit. But you have to do it at home as well.

- You need to close the openings of when you are most vulnerable: sunset, sunrise, going to
bathroom, before eating, before intercourse, entering your home.

- Black seed is a cure for everything except death. Honey, hijaama,

Happiness
Everyone has a baseline setpoint of happiness. We manoeuvre from it but always bounce back.
How can we increase our setpoint of happiness: ( taken

1. Be grateful

2. Serving others= prosocial behaviours. Power of service

3. Platinum rule= treat others as you want Allah to treat you. If you want Allah to help you in
difficulty help others.

4. When you sort your matters out with the creation, Allah will sort our matters out.

5. Mistreatment by the in laws ?

This is scary because you will be treated by Allah how you treat others. If you are being unjust
then Allah will be unjust. Coming in between a husband and wife is one of the biggest sins. But
this doesn’t mean to ignore something that is wrong e.g. abuse.

Who is the poor person? The one who has a lot of prayers and Quran but they have hurt
people and taken advantage of people and mistreated people. The people who you have
hurt will take your good deeds on the DoJ. This is one of the biggest sins.
6. The most beloved person to Allah is the one who is the most beneficial to the mankind and to
help someone in need, it’s better than to be in i’tikaaf in masjid Nabawi.