Issue 1084 | 05 Nov 04

In this fortnight’s edition...

* End of Term : USSU Sabbatical Resigns
* Prince Edward unveils statue of Alan Turing
* Gunpowder, treason & plot : HIstory of 5/11
* The rise and rise of Surrey Dance Squad
* Return of ‘The Ents Planner’
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
CONTENTS 1
editorial
Catherine was a star, and everything
she did she committed herself to. She
took some major decisions this year
on USSU media and was sculpturing
a role for future VP Communications
that would improve their creativity,
enhance any ideas they had, and
allow them to get involved in a true
communications capacity.
2 Vice President Communications resigns On behalf of the barefacts team I’d
3 Earl of Wessex gets tour of Surrey’s finest like to thank her for the drive and
energy she provided to the Comms
5 The trouble with Programme Reps office this year and for setting a
precedent for future VP Comms by
8 Meet the Union Executive | A guide to the current team not being bound by the invisible
limitations of the job. This edition of
10 Immigration - The non-politically correct alternative barefacts is dedicated to her and the
work she put into her role, and my
12 Gunpowder, treason & plot - Guy Fawkes uncovered only hope is that it goes some way to
doing Catherine justice.
13 The Global Idiot? - What price another 4 years of Bush
Last week saw the loss of a different
15 Beginners guide to the EU Constitution media legend in the shape of John
Peel. For anyone listening to Radio1
17 Someone give the NUS a paddle..The end for NUS? it was apparent that his influence and
character had reached out to more
18 The return of the Ents Planner than just his listeners. Not always
agreed with in his musical tastes, it
27 LGBT goes to Brighton wasn’t often that the great man made
mistakes with what he played on his
33 Careers advice for the confused show. Locally, GU2 responded with
some fond memories of Mr Peel by
30 DAVE | Season 3 launches playing most of his best moments
on air to celebrate what he gave to
37 Sport Ladies netball & a naked rugby player radio and how he paved the way for
future DJs and talent spotting within
the industry.
the barefacts team
Finally, happy Bonfire Night! Up
until 1959 it was actually illegal not
Editor: Neil Christie
to celebrate the arrest of Guy Fawkes
Deputy Editor: Nicole Heel
in England, which is somewhat
News Editor: Julie Wall
of a contrast from today’s view of
Sports Editor: Pete Nichols fireworks and celebrations in early
Music Editors: Jon Allen and Dina Mystris November. Keep your eyes open
Film Editor: Neil Boulton for people in Chancellor’s next
Literature Editor: Arvind Virdee week drinking with their ‘wrong’
GU2 Press Officer: Jay Butcher hand because the other one got burnt
somehow over the weekend …
Interim Design : Andy Blair

Many thanks to all those people who contributed to the paper this week and also to those
Neil
barefacts Editor
people who submitted pictures, articles and contributed to the lay-up in some other way!
Although there are too many to mention - you all know who you are.
2 news
“How to Kill the Compact Disc Despite the music industry’s fears, legal downloading of
and make Two Billion Dollars” music only accounts for around 3% of the total revenue in
the market, so don’t throw away any of your blank CDs just

U 2 have signed an exclusive deal with Apple, makers of yet.

the increasingly popular Ipod that’s been hailed as ‘the

Loans Remain Unpaid

Walkman of the 21st Century’.

The deal is by far

T
the most lucrative he Government has admitted that almost one
one signed by any in eight students are still waiting for their
rock band in history student loans after this summer’s chaos with
and sees Apple the Student Loan Company’s new computer system.
releasing a black, U2
branded edition of In a Parliamentary answer to Chris Grayling, Conservative
the Ipod and offer an Higher Education Spokesman , the Government said
exclusive 400-track that more than 100,000 of the 800,000 total for loan
digital box set of all applications are still awaiting processing or payment.
the band’s albums.
Chris Grayling said it is outrageous that students are still
However, at the heart of the debate is the question of the waiting for their loans to be issued after term has started
effects these kind of deals will have to CD sales. Last and are having to exist on interim payments or University
year there was a 7.1% decline in CD sales. With Apple hardship funds . The Government should get its house in
now having a near two-thirds majority of the market of order rather than writing to HE institutions asking them to be
portable players, and popularity of iTunes (the first legal supportive of students who do not have loans in place at the
downloading website for music) soaring, it seems that the start of term. It is simply not good enough. The Student Loan
online revolution of the music industry may occur quicker Company is well aware of the pressures on it in weeks before
than expected. term begins and should plan accordingly.

Vice President Communications resigns from office

“ Surrey Students,
Members of
Staff, Friends and
colleagues,
It is with great
sadness that I have
to announce today that Catherine Lee
our Vice-President Communications
has tendered her resignation with
immediate effect.
Catherine has taken this decision
after a long period of reflection and
consultation on her role. She felt that
the demands of the role were becoming
too great and consequently she took the
very brave step of picking her own well
being over her Union role. Catherine
did not take this decision lightly. Indeed
it was partly due to the respect she
has for the Union and the role of the
Communications sabbatical officer at
Surrey that she took this decision at all.
In her time here, Catherine built her
legacy. She has developed Barefacts
into what I firmly believe is the best it
has been for many years. Her tireless
work has lead to developments in GU2
and an outstanding set of publications.
The University of Surrey truly owes
Catherine Lee a debt of gratitude.
Catherine’s resignation will be formally
announced at Union Council on the
2nd November at 6:00pm in Seasons.
Council will also be used as an
opportunity for you to hear and discuss
how we now move forward; therefore
it is more important than ever that as
many people as possible attend.
There are difficult times ahead but I can
assure you that the Union will move
forward from here and will continue to
develop high quality communications
for every student at this University.
The sabbatical team would like to end
by thanking Catherine for all her hard
work and wish her the very best both
now and in the future.
Thank You,”
Hash Alsaidi , Union President
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
Earl of Wessex gets tour of Surrey’s finest
Prince Edward, a staunch supporter of young people, was on a
tour of the arts facilities here at UniS before unveiling a statue
of Alan Turing, the latest addition to the Piazza outside the
Austin Pearce and the School of Management buildings (Ed
- just be careful not to lean on it too hard).
While on campus, the Earl also visited the Performing Arts
Technology Studios, student radio station GU2 and Surrey
Satellite Technologies Ltd. He then lunched at Lakeside
Restaurant in the newly opened School of Management
building.
Catherine Lee introduced the Earl to Nathan Whitaker, the
station manager, who subsequently introduced him to a few
members of the GU2 team. Following the somewhat formal
introductions, which included Scott Geary (GU2 Technical
Manager) and Graham Chipande (Head of Marketing) at
the studios beneath Battersea Court, Prince Edward was
interviewed by Jay Butcher - a recent graduate of Surrey
University and current GU2 presenter.
The interview was particularly insightful into both how
and why the Earl wants young people to be involved in
opportunities such as the Duke of Edinburgh’s award and
indeed gaining experience in student driven environments
such as GU2, and the other sports clubs and societies provided
by USSU. Rest assured clips of the interview will be heard on
GU2 over the forthcoming week.
The statue itself, [see front cover] which marks the 50th
anniversary of the death of the scientist, was created by John
W. Mills and took over 18 months to complete. It depicts
Alan Turing striding across the University piazza in front
New Laundrette ‘ on the way’
John Turner, deputy Vice Chancellor of the University,
announced at last night’s Union Council that the University
were making plans for an expansion to the existing
laundrette.
He added that around £150,000 was to be injected into the
project to improve the facilities available for students on
campus. Many complains have been heard regarding the
laundrette ...
and this action is a major positive for all students to be living
on campus, and for those without a washing machine that
don’t!
The project is expected to be completed sometime next year.
The laundrette will hopefully have fully working machines,
and a change machine is planned – so that 20p hoard may no
longer be required! Barefacts will keep you updated as and
when developments occur.
news 3
of the Austin Pearce
Building, which
houses the
University’s computer
labs.
Turing, who lived
in Guildford in his
earlier life, led the
team that succeeded
in breaking high-level
secret German codes in World War II, using the first practical
programmed computer, called Colossus. In 1937 he suggested
a theoretical machine, since called a Turing Machine, which
became the basis of modern computing. In 1950 he suggested
what has become known as a “Turing’s test,” still the criterion
for recognising intelligence in a machine.
As well as his intellectual achievements, Turing was a world
class distance runner, with a personal best time over the
Marathon distance of 2 hours, 46 minutes and 3 seconds. This
is just 11 minutes slower than the winner of the 1948 Olympic
marathon race.
Professor Dowling comments, ‘Today we were pleased and
honoured to welcome our nearest royal neighbour, the Earl of
Wessex to the university for the first time. As well as unveiling
this magnificent statue of a colossus of a man, the Earl was
able to see first-class dance and leading edge technology. We
hope that this will be the first of many visits.’
Neil Christie / Jay Butcher
AGMs
Game AGM | GM room | Wednesday 3rd at 1pm
Russian EGM | Venue TBC | Wednesday 3rd at 6pm
Poker AGM | GM room | Thursday 4th at 5pm
Chess Society AGM | GM room | Friday 5th at 5pm
Monday 8th is Societies Standing, all societies need to attend, in
LTE at 6pm
CathSoc AGM | Chaplaincy (Bourne) | Tuesday 9th - 6:30pm
Paintball AGM | GM room | Tuesday 9th - 7pm
BioSoc AGM | GM room | Wednesday 10th 2pm
Turkish Speakers AGM | Venue TBC | Wednesday 10th - 5pm
Asian Society AGM | Venue LTF | Wednesday 10th 6pm
Thursday 11th is Activities Essentials, training for all new
committees
Saturday 13th is Deepavali (Divali) for the Tamil society -
Cultural show, food and after party in Rubix and the HRB
Sci-Fi AGM | GM room | Tuesday 16th 6:30pm
No-Wave AGM | Roots restaurant | Tuesday 16th 7:30pm
Socialist Worker AGM | Venue TBC | Wednesday 17th 6pm
LGBT EGM | GM room | Friday 19th 6pm
4 news
THE NEWS THAT MADE THE HEADLINES | OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 05
John Peel dies
The veteran
Radio One
DJ John
Peel died
at the age
of 65 on
Tuesday
26th October while on a
working holiday in Peru.
Peel’s career stretched back
to the launch of Radio One
in 1967 and it was down to
him that many prominent
bands were given the big
break which launched their
careers. The music world
was shocked by the news
and many music stars paid
tribute to the man who
had meant so much to the
industry.
The EU Constitution
On Friday 29th October the
leaders of the 25 member
states of the European
Union signed the EU
constitution. The document
is a momentous step in
creating an ever closer
European Union. The
constitution cannot come
into effect until it is ratified
by all 25 member states, a
process that may take up to
two years and which may
prove a stumbling block as
around 9 member states are
likely to hold referendums
on the issue. The Foreign
Secretary said the UK will
hold a referendum itself in
early 2006.
Yassa Arafat Illness
Palestinian leader Yassa
Arafat left his compound in
the West Bank for the first
time in almost three years
on Friday 29th October
as he flew to Paris to
receive medical treatment.
Mr. Arafat was yet to be
diagnosed but had been
suffering with stomach
pains for two weeks. The
Israeli government, who
has long held Yassa Arafat
responsible for militant
attacks, has said it will not
prevent him from returning
to the West Bank.
Hobbit sized ancestor
unearthed
The bones of a species
of human only one metre
tall with long arms and a
grapefruit-sized head have
been discovered on Flores
Island. The specimen
has been classified as a
new species called Homo
floresiensis and dates back
18,000 years. Inhabitants
of the isolated island even
have references to the little
people in local legends,
leading some scientists to
wonder if they could have
survived into recent times.
Osama Bin Laden
A tape was
released by
the Arab
television
station al-
Jazeera of
Osama Bin
Laden issuing a message
directly to the people of the
United States. In an attempt
to disrupt the US election,
Bin Laden claimed the
American people were
deceived by President Bush
and ridiculed his response
to the 9/11 attacks. The
video is the clearest
admission yet that Bin
Laden is responsible for
the attacks and serves as a
reminder that he is still a
threat to US security.
Gambling Bill
A new Bill has been
proposed to modernise the
gambling laws in UK. The
law would mean tighter
controls on fruit machines
and online betting, but
conversely would allow
more American-style
casinos to be opened. The
move would boost the
local economy in areas like
Blackpool but has aroused
concern over the danger
of encouraging organised
crime and of allowing
people to rack up huge
debts.
Black Watch Troops
British military action in
Iraq was brought under the
scrutiny on Wednesday 20th
October as it was revealed
around 650 troops from the
Black Watch were to be
moved from the relatively
stable British-controlled
southern Iraq, to work
alongside the American
troops further north near
Baghdad. The extra troops
in the area will allow the
US forces to crush violent
uprisings in cities such as
Fallujah.
Prince Harry
In the early hours of
Thursday 21st October
P r i n c e
Harry was
involved
in a scuffle
with the
paparazzi
outside a
London nightclub. As he
left the club the Prince was
hit in the face with a camera
and in pushing the camera
away left one photographer
with a cut lip. A spokesman
described the event as
regretful, but insisted Harry
would not apologise.
Mutu Sacking
Chelsea
striker
Adrian
Mutu was
sacked by
the club on
Friday 29th
October after he failed a
drugs test. Fifa regulations
only require a six month
ban, but the club’s zero
tolerance policy on drugs
was upheld and the
Romanian was told to leave.
The player denied taking
cocaine and claimed he
took a substance to enhance
his sexual performance.
And the winner is....
At the time of going
to print, it was still not
clear who has won the
US Presidential Election.
President Bush did
however say that whatever
happens, either he or John
Kerry would be victorious.
[The Global Idiot] p.13
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
The Problem with Programme Reps
According to the University rules and regulations every
school should ensure that there are two programme
representatives for each level of each course. This is to
ensure that every student at this University has the ability
to comment on the teaching they receive and to have a
direct effect on the way in which their course is run.
The preceding paragraph is the ideal situation; the table
shows the actual situation as of the 25th of October.
Unfortunately it is quite clear that many students are not
receiving the representation that they are entitled to.
You may be asking yourself what a Programme
Representative is and why is it important that each course
has one? A Programme Representative does exactly what
you’d expect them to do from their title; they represent
students on a specific program. They act as a conduit for
any complaints or ideas that their fellow students have.
Programme Representatives sit on the Academic Boards
and are able to actually change the way in which a course
is run. Furthermore Programme Representatives are the
main way in which the Students’ Union finds out what
students are thinking at a School level. It is important that
Are you able to have your say?
I f you have moved to Guildford this autumn you should
ensure that you are registered to vote in local and national
elections.
Campus - Students resident in University accommodation
on Campus, Hazel Farm and Bellerby Court on 15th
October 2004 will be included in the return made by the
Accommodation Office to Guildford Borough Council.
The new Register of Electors will be available at
Millmead House, Millmead, Guildford for checking after
1st December 2004 - please check that you are included.
Copies of lists sent by the Accommodation Office to the
Council will be available for checking in Court Receptions
(or the Accommodation Office for those at Hazel Farm and
Bellerby Court) from now.
news 5
every course has at least some Programme Representatives
because otherwise students have no structured way of
making their voices heard.
This year Programme Representatives are particularly
important to the University because of the Quality
Assurance Agency is visiting the University and will be
grading the University on amongst other things how good
the feedback systems for students are. This will have a
direct effect on how the University is perceived by the
wider world.
In recent years this University has been quite poor at
recruiting Programme Representatives, despite the
repeated efforts of the various Education and Welfare
sabbaticals. This year the Students’ Union successfully
trained about 100 Programme Reps, whilst this is a small
increase on last year, it is simply not good enough. Our
students have a right and a need for real representation.
The Students’ Union believes that while there are
areas within the University that have extremely good
Programme Representative systems, namely the School
of Management, there is a real need to introduce a
University wide structure for the recruitment and support
of Programme Representatives. We wish to work with,
and support, the University in the rewriting of parts of
the University regulations to ensure that our students get
realistic and competent representation.
If you would like further information on Programme
Representatives or anything to do with academic
representation please contact Ewan Panter, Vice-President
Education and Welfare at welfare@ussu.co.uk.
Offsite - If you live offsite, forms for electoral registration
are sent to every address in September and reminders are
sent out in October. You are required by law to complete
the forms with all necessary information.
Rolling Registration - If you have moved into Guildford
(on or off campus) between 16th October 2004 and 11th
August 2005, then you will need to complete an ER3 form,
which is available from the Accommodation Office to
enable you to register an as elector in Guildford
The Accommodation Office and Students Union will
help, but it is your responsibility to check that you are
included on the Register of Electors.
6 letters
Dear barefacts, from each other. There should be more CCTV in
the library and more notices telling students to not
It’s sadly a little known leave their things even if it is for a few moments.
fact that some cocoa I would really appreciate it if you could publish
and sugar plantations in something as the people who stole it may read it
Africa still use child slave or some of their friends and it won’t be forgotten.
labour. These children are Anything you can do would be a great help.
kidnapped across borders
and sold for around
£20 each and they work Many thanks for listening/reading
until their back break, Noelle
literally. The little bodies
of 9 and 10 year olds Dear barefacts,
(frequently younger) truly crumble under the huge bags they are
forced to carry. Very few survive two years in these conditions. I write regarding the article entitled ‘Can everyone
stop getting f**ked’.
Although chocolate manufacturers do try to prevent the cocoa and
sugar they use coming from these plantations, they cannot always The article drove me to anger and despair for
control the source, nor can they investigate the smaller more remote which the only way that I found out was to hit
plantations that feed into the suppliers. Fairtrade chocolate has this the bottle even more than I do already. I’ve had
control as they go direct to the plantations. By paying a fair price, lots of anal sex since then and it was grrreat! The
they ensure there is no need for slave labour . The cocoa used writer should try it sometime – it might loosen him
comes from Ghana which has better control than other countries. up, and not only in the obvious area. The writer
should be welcomed to any future social events at
Sugar is a slightly more difficult matter than cocoa as much the union as his presence alone is likely to drive
of it ends up in products we have no choice over, but their are more and more people to the bottle and in turn, to
other options when buying sugar granules in stores like Tesco. the uninhibited fun that should be the staple diet
of youth. The article implies that binge drinking
So please think about the other ingredients not listed on the is something new when in fact the only thing that
packaging. You can buy tears, misery and blood, or choose to buy is new is that a uni newspaper publishes such a
joy, happiness and hope. For 20p extra I would rather enjoy my patronising piece, when students are already aware
chocolate bar than wonder about the real cost to my home continent. of the dangers of drinking. Part of being here is to
have fun and enjoy ourselves and not save it for the
Daniella How midlife crisis towards which the author is clearly
heading. University provides the opportunity for
Dear barefacts, us to behave irresponsibly away from the guilt-
inducing glare of our parents. Please do not deny
I think you should know about the type of students that are at us this escape.
our university. Thieves, liars and cheats. I have been a victim of
theft recently from the LIBRARYand just left my bag for a few Yours sincerely
minutes whilst I went to the toilet. The Students Voice
In the meanwhile a fellow student
went into the room I was studying
Reply from the editor...
in and stole my wallet. In this wallet
there was 20 cash plus a railcard and
Dear The Students Voice,
they used one of my debit cards to
purchase 40 worth of goods.
barefacts never intends to patronise its readers
and I am truly sorry if this was the case in your
I would really like this information
instance. As the national press have highlighted,
to be published and a notice saying
not all students are as aware of the dangers of binge
THIEVES BEWARE! as its really
drinking as yourself and that is why it’s becoming a
unfair for other students to steal
mainstream political issue.
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
Unfortunately, 1400 students die each year as a result of
binge drinking. The aim of the article was to ensure that
the number here at Surrey is as low as possible, so that
every student has the opportunity to engage in conscious,
memorable and hopefully safe anal sex, much like
yourself.
I’d certainly not wish to quash any fun-loving students, and
I look forward to hopefully getting a picture of you (it’ll
have to be clothed, and not engaging in sexual activities…
Sorry, we have a code of conduct to adhere to) unwinding
with your friends in Rubix for our regular collage… This
week I’ll take your advice and go to the Malibu nights
on Wednesday and Friday to see what I get when I walk
through the ‘seriously easy going O’ meter’.
All the best
Neil Christie
Dear barefacts,
I am writing to bring to your attention and complain about
a recent visit, (21/10/04), I made to Pizza Hut resturant in
Surrey, Guildford.
A number of incidents concerned me regaring your staffs
attitude to customers. We opted to dine at Pizza Hut instead
of JD wetherspoons, as all 11 of us were Valid NUS card
holders from the University of Surrey. Having eaten at
many of your outlets before, we believed we would have a
good evening.
However on entering we were greeted by being told to “come
in and shut the door,” It was a cold evening, but throughout
our disputes, no please, sorry or thankyou was said.
The waitress taking our order brought over the wrong starter,
and we all got the impression that this was a real effort
to change. After this problem, the evening was running
smoothly until it came to pay. We were brought over the
reciept and fully charged, without discount, realising that we
had not made it clear that we were students.
Therefore I personally tried to call over a waitress cleaning
a table, but she just looked up, and I had to shout across the
resturant, asking whether we were still entitled to a 20%
discount? She asked whether we had any meal deals, to whic
the answer was no, and we were therfore told that we could
still recieve a 20% discount.
Two of my friends went up to the till, and quickly came back
saying that we were not allowed discount as there was too
many of us, the offer is only available for 4 students or under.
letters 7
Thinking to myself that this was very absurd that the more
custom brought in, the less priveleges you recieve, I made
my way to the till, and politely asked the same question as
my friends, to which I was given the same response.
What leads to my anger in complaining though is the attitude
of the manager there who was very rude, and answered to
the name of Clare. I suggested to her that they could charge
us as groups of 4, but before she answered me she decided
to answer the phone, instead of letting her collegues answer
who all seemed to be doing nothing behind the desk, which
made me feel very intimidated.
Once she had finished talking on the phone, she came back
to me and said, “Why should we spilt you up as its in the
system and this cannot be changed, and we have gone to the
effort of serving you all?” She advised us to go home where
it apparently clearly stated in the NUS booklet the terms and
conditions that the offer was only available to 4 or under. I
pleaded with her, but she jsut rolled her eye lids at me. I
dont believe I should have to find the literature to prove
her right, when I clearly had evidence that a 20% discount
should be given.
I walked back to my group of friends, and one of them
told me that we did not have enough money to pay, as we
calculated that the price wolud come to around £85-£90, but
the total was infact over £111. Feeling very embarressed we
decided to leave, as we had given as much as we could.
On returning home I understand that “four diners max.
can recieve discount, PER CARD HOLDER”, we are all
NUS card holders. I also understant that this offer may
be withdrawn at any time, but this was not made clear at
the start of the meal, and one waitress did say that we were
entitled to discount.
I therefore tried to renegotiate with the manager, Clare, the
next day, but she shouted to me that she was not interested
to listen as we had short changed her, and she was too busy
anyway.
Our receipt was taken from us to have the head office
telephone number written down, we left, before this was
given back to us. I work in a store and reminded the
manager of the fair traiding and advertising laws which she
breahced but she did not sound bothered in the slightest.
A writen apology from the manager in question would be
appreciated. I would suggest that she is put on a customer
service training course, which if you find to costly, her
dismissal or demotion may be a cheaper option.
Simon Brown, Student.
8 exec
Meet The Executive…
A few weeks back you keen
eyed Barefacts readers my have
remembered that we had an election
on campus to vote in the executive
for the union. By now you may be
wondering what happened with all
that.
Ok here goes. The elections went
really well and we had an increase of
115% in votes, which is great and I
thank you all for getting out there and
having your Say.
So what did you get for all of that?
Well I have to say this year we have
an executive team that I truly believe
will deliver all it has set out to. It’s
an extremely strong team of people
who are there primarily to run the
day-to-day aspects of the union and
represent all Surrey students in their
portfolio areas. While doing all of
this they also hold the Sabbatical
team to account and make sure we
are doing what we say we will, which
is very handy. Most importantly the
executive are there to do the work
that is mandated to them by council.
Now lets meet the team.
Chris Connor
Union Chair
Christ upholds
democracy by chairing
Student Council and
makes sure that agendas, minutes
and the actual meetings are well
publicised and promoted.
unionchair@ussu.co.uk
Michael Ogunseye
Ethics & Equal
Opportunities Officer
Represents students
and assists Union
Officials on ethics & equal
opportunities issues. Responsible
Hash Alsaidi invites you to meet
the students who are the current
knights of the Union’s round table
for developing, recommending,
campaigning for, and implementing
Union policy regarding ethics &
equal opportunities and raising
awareness, understanding and
participation among students.
ethicsandequalopps@ussu.co.uk
Ben Acaster
Campaigns Officer
Responsible for
coordinating,
publicising and
implementing campaigns agreed
upon at Union Council. Encourages
involvement in campaigns and
helps the VP Education and Welfare
to achieve their objectives and
responsibilities relating to campaigns
by being the Chairperson of the
Campaigns Committee.
campaigns@ussu.co.uk
Folarin Oyeleye
Culture & Events
Officer
Assists the Union
Entertainments
Department, to ensure efficient
running of all Union culture and
entertainment events by being
Chairperson of the Entertainments &
Events Committee. Also helps out the
VP Societies & Culture to achieve
their objectives and responsibilities
relating to culture.
cultureandevents@ussu.co.uk
Alexander Collins
Academic Affairs
Officer
Represents all students
on anything to do with
the academic side of their university
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
life. Assists the VP Education &
Welfare to achieve their objectives and
responsibilities relating to Academic
Affairs by being Chairperson of the
Academic Affairs Committee.
academicaffairs@ussu.co.uk
Nathanael Roome
Accommodation Officer
Represents students in
campus and off campus
accommodation. In
addition, assists the VP Education &
Welfare to achieve their objectives
and responsibilities relating to
accommodation by being Chairperson
of the Accommodation Committee.
accommodation@ussu.co.uk
Rebecca Moore
Placement & Employed
Students Officer
Represents students
on placement and in
part-time work whilst studying at
the University of Surrey. Assists the
VP Education & Welfare to achieve
their objectives and responsibilities
relating to working students. Oversees
the Union’s work regarding students’
employability skills development
and helps with the annual review and
publishing of the Placement Year
Handbook.
placementandemployed@ussu.co.uk
Pete Nichols
Sports Officer
Represents all sports
clubs by working
alongside the VP
Sports to help run the Union’s
sports clubs. Assists in coordinating
and advising Sports clubs on their
operational and budgetary procedures
and is the Chairperson of Sports
Executive and Sports Standing
meetings.
sportsclubsofficer@ussu.co.uk
exec 9
Cecilia Tran
Societies Officer
Represents all societies
by working alongside
the VP Societies &
Culture to help run the Union’s
societies. Assists in coordinating
and advising Societies on their
operational and budgetary procedures
and is the Chairperson of Societies
Executive and Societies Standing
meetings.
societiesofficer@ussu.co.uk
Gregory Scott
Non-Portfolio Officer
Carries out work as
advertised in their
election manifesto
and as directed by the Executive
Committee and higher bodies.
This year Greg’s Manifesto centred
on bring the issues of Postgraduates
to the highest level in the union.
vacant@ussu.co.uk
The executive is there to talk to
and discuss issues with all Surrey
students. They are very influential in
the future direction of the union so
it’s important to get to know them
and help them with their work by
putting across your views which
they will bring to the executive
committee.
For those of you who are think
how do I get involved there are still
vacancies in a lot of officer positions
that the union has. We are still
looking people to fill the following
positions -
Part Time Student Officer
International Students Officer
Disabled Students officer
Mature Students Officer
If you are interested please contact
me on president@ussu.co.uk
10 comment

Immigration - the Non-Politically Correct Alternative

A writer wishing to remain anonymous voices their alternative views to those previously seen in
barefacts on the subject of UK immigration. Disagree? Send a letter - barefacts@ussu.co.uk ...

My problem with the views propagated in the media about Many of us rebel against society during our student days;
immigration is that mainstream parties’ views are too it is almost a rite of passage. The factors above explain
politically correct and don’t reflect the reality, whereas the why my student rebellion is being a BNP voter, despite
views of anti-immigration parties are illogical: - the BNP’s one of my parents being an immigrant. I would vote for
economic policy is positively communist in my view. mainstream parties if they would actually do something
about the problem, stop boring me with platitudes about
My argument is that immigration should not be used as multiculturalism and stop calling me racist for not wanting
a cheap and easy way out for people unwilling to think to become a foreigner in my own country.
of long-term solutions. Immigration may solve some
problems in the short term, but ends up bringing additional There are many alternative solutions to the pensions crisis.
problems that outweigh any benefits. They are giving tax disadvantages to people who don’t
have children for any reason other than infertility and tax
The most obvious of these problems is advantages to people who do, increasing
the destruction of indigenous culture. “mainstream parties pension contributions from employees
Immigrants are often unjustly made are too politically and employers, increase the pensionable
scapegoats for problems afflicting Britain age (why not if we are living longer?),
e.g. overcrowding, a shortage of jobs, crime correct and don’t increase taxes (and make our industry less
etc, but this is a problem that, if you think reflect the reality” competitive), increase the availability of
about it, nobody else can be blamed for. childcare for working parents, give people a
One thing that makes this problem worse is the double pension according to how many children they had, penalise
standards culture. India frequently sees protests against people doing degrees like “Beckham studies” and reward
western fast food outlets, with the locals demanding their people studying subjects that are actually of use to the
removal, whilst being apathetic about the huge number economy, increase the availability of affordable housing
of curry take-away shops in the UK. It would appear that etc. Lastly, we need to propagate the message to society
western cultures in non-western countries is called “cultural that governments are not a source of free money and that
imperialism”, whereas non-western cultures in western just like everybody else, they have to balance their books:
countries is called “multiculturalism”. - it is gross hypocrisy to refrain from having children on
account of the possibility that they might cramp your style,
We are seeing the paradox that former colonies of the UK reach retirement, find that you have a meagre pension and
are more British than the UK as a result of immigration. A then blame the government for your
good example is New Zealand, where the national dish is plight.
still “fish ‘n’ chips” and not curry. However, the transsexual
prime minister (actually, she isn’t as far as I know; she Paul Canning mentioned that
just sounds like a man), who is overtly republican and women are often trying for a baby
anti-British, is doing her best to make New Zealand into and finding that they have left it
just another Asia-Pacific nation, meaning that my advice too late. Women ought to start
is to visit New Zealand before it just disappears into the taking responsibility for this. For
monotony of other countries in the region. Similarly, a instance, they should not imitate the
Peruvian friend of mine claims that Lima is known as “the actions of Germaine Greer, whose
Seville of the Americas” as a result of the phenomenon of response to her infertility (resulting from the large number
ex-colonies being more like the colonising country than the of abortions she had) was to blame fertility treatments for
colonising country itself. giving women false hope.
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
My proposals with regard to immigration law are as follows.
We should give UK passports to everyone, who can prove
British ancestry. We should give a right of abode and
work to anyone, who marries a British national. However,
partly on account of a relative of mine, who got his British
passport by marrying someone solely for this purpose, we
should make this right of abode and work withdrawable in
the event that they cease to live together as a couple. We
should then ban immigration by anyone not fulfilling either
of these two categories. Anybody employing a person not
fulfilling these criteria, who doesn’t hold a UK passport
should then be made to draw up plans to shift the work to
those who do within a predetermined time.
However, I must point out that I am not in favour of any
kind of wealth redistribution programmes directed against
a particular ethnic group. I particularly disagree with the
“Black Empowerment” programme in South Africa, partly
because a lot of land seized from white farmers and given to
blacks was actually BOUGHT from their ancestors. Also,
whilst I don’t share Hendrik Verwoerd’s republican views,
I share the view he expressed after Harold MacMillan’s
“Winds of change” speech that South Africa became
industrialised as a result of white immigration: - in my
opinion, prising South Africa’s industry out of white hands
would be an abomination of the principle of meritocracy.
Similarly, I don’t support the view that the fact that
Indians in the UK are so fabulously wealthy (despite their
nonsensical claims that the UK has disadvantaged them
terribly) justifies seizing their assets. Furthermore, one
painful lesson that Uganda learned when Idi Amin kicked
out the Asian population is that you cannot get rid of the
wealthy members of society without hurting the whole of
society.
My position with regard to refugees is that they should be
allowed to stay if they can prove beyond all reasonable doubt
that the UK was the first safe country they were reasonably
able to stop in and that their residency should be terminated
comment 11
as soon as the conditions in their country of origin become
safe once again. However, I feel that all immigration not
already mentioned should then be stopped and we should
withdraw from the EU to stop people taking advantage of
relaxed citizenship requirements: - many people arranging
bogus marriages for a person to gain British residency bring
in a person from a non-UK EU country; with the recent
enlargement of the EU, this will only get worse.
It should be obvious to everyone that governments don’t tell
the truth about labour shortages. Surely we all remember
the tech boom and crash at the end of the nineties? There
was admittedly an extremely small shortage of tech workers
at the height of the boom and so industry leaders went into
panic and then claimed on T.V. that there would be an
economic meltdown if we didn’t dramatically increase
immigration and the government stepped up its efforts to
get more people needlessly studying for I.T. and electronics
qualifications and heeded the demands of industry for more
immigration. The sensible thing would have been to just
sit tight and wait for the share price correction (the rates
of increases meant a crash was inevitable), which would
naturally bring supply and demand closer to each other.
As a result of the government’s stupidity, we now have
many people educated to a very high standard in I.T. and
electronics related subjects, who are unable to find work
in those fields; meanwhile, we have many immigrants in
the jobs these people would otherwise occupy, who have
no intention of going home. Similarly, the government has
generated a lot of hot air claiming that we have a teacher
shortage whilst failing to mention that the shortage exists
only for secondary school teachers and that there is a glut
of primary school teachers. What industrial leaders say is
also not a good indication of whether or not there is a labour
shortage, as the laws of supply and demand mean that wage
costs get pushed down if there is a glut of workers in a
particular field.
The main question I wish
to raise is why people view
immigration as being a
magic solution to all of
the country’s problems,
when there are plenty of
other solutions that can be
employed if policy makers
have a bit more foresight.
Naturally, I will remain
anonymous, but comments
on this article can be sent
to barefacts@ussu.co.uk.
12 features

Who is this guy Guy, and why do we celebrate whilst he burns?

A quick look into the history behind Fireworks Night and the celebrations
of 5th November...

Just about all native speakers will know about the story of Guy Fawkes was hung,
Guy Fawkes and have been forced to recite the Gunpowder, drawn and quartered,
Treason and Plot poem during a year 4 assembly to cooing which was the traditional
parents. For those with international roots, the custom of punishment for traitors in
setting off fireworks and burning someone may seem a bit 1606.
mad. For the justification of this strange behaviour, read
on… For those that want to know
the gory details, he was
Guy Fawkes (real name Guido Fawkes) was a man that hung until he was half dead
was rather skilled in the uses of gunpowder and the act and then his genitals were
of tunnelling. He served in the militia in Netherlands for cut off and burned in front of him. All males are wincing at
twelve years and honed his skills when he was there. He this point. Whilst still alive, his heart and bowels would be
was a devout Catholic, possibly removed from his body. He was
influenced by his step father, Remember Remember the fifth of November, then decapitated and his limbs
and at this time (around the year The gunpowder treason and plot. were removed from his body.
1600) the struggle for religious I see no reason why gunpowder treason, Finally, his body parts would be
control in England was a hotly should ever be forgot. publicly displayed and left for
contested one. Essentially, Guy Fawkes Guy, ‘twas his intent , the birds to eat them.
Protestants were persecuted to blow up king and parliament.
if the leading monarch was Three score barrels were laid below, In 1605, on the anniversary of
Catholic and vice versa. For the to prove old England’s overthrow. Guy Fawkes and the Gunpowder
hard of thinking, if you weren’t By God’s mercy he was catched, Plot, bonfires were lit to burn
the same religion as the throne with a dark lantern and lighted match. effigies of Guy Fawkes and
then it was just a matter of time Holler boys Holler boys let the bells ring, fireworks were let off in defiant
before you were burnt. Holler boys Holler boys God save the King. celebration all over London.
Within a couple of years this
And so in a bid to blow up was a national celebration…
James I, which would enable the next heir to the throne to
be a Catholic one, Guy Fawkes met up with thirteen other www.guy-fawkes.com
conspirators to try and destroy the Houses of Parliament http://il.essortment.com/guyfawkesattem_rkdl.htm
and the Palace of Westminster.

Perhaps rather foolishly, an anonymous letter was sent to a

Catholic Peer, Lord Monteagle. This letter warned him to
stay away from the opening of Parliament on November 5th. Celebrate your Fireworks
Lord Monteagle took the letter to Robert Cecil, the Earl of
Sainsbury, who was James I’s first minister. Night with a Bang
Guy Fawkes was then captured around midnight on 4th
November, and brought to council (court, back in the day)
on the 5th. It’s therefore the arrest of Guy Fawkes that is
Zane Lowe’s on tour and is
celebrated, as otherwise there would be a few less buildings in Rubix TONIGHT!
in London and the list of Kings and Queens of England
would be a little different to what it is now.
tickets: £3 before 10:30 ,£5 after
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
features 13

The Global Idiot?

Paul Canning takes a quick glance across the
ocean at our beloved friends the Americans,
rather bravely before the election

There are many things in life that are hard to work out. Just
why exactly is Tara-Palmer Tompkinson famous, given that
she’s “famous for being famous”? Is there anything that
Neil and Christine Hamilton won’t do for money? Why is
bargain hunt so addictive given how naff it is?

Perhaps most perplexing of all is how so many people

keep voting for George “Dubya” Bush. Ironically, by the
seems is the only nation that doesn’t believe in the science
time this article goes to press, the American people will
behind global warming and climate change despite the
have finished voting and be well into lawsuit territory as
piles of evidence against their case. Therefore the Kyoto
overpaid lawyers ask the courts to work out who won.
protocol is not something that America subscribes to –
There has been some press coverage of an initiative led by
meaning they are quite happy to continue polluting as they
The Guardian whereby their readers have written to floating
choose. Bush has also torn up many other treaties to which
voters in so called ‘swing states’ in order to try and sway
the US had previously
them towards Kerry. Far be it from me to tell our American
bought into, including
cousins how to vote but the question still stands – how can
the Basle convention on
so many people want Bush as president? Lets be honest,
the movement of waste
he’d struggle to get elected to a residents association in
between countries. This
most parts of this country.
helped in no small part to
the arrival in Hartlepool of
So called “Bush bashing” seems to be the new black – a
the so called ‘ghost fleet’
quick survey of the politics section of the local book shop
of defunct naval vessels
for dismantling. The Planet Bash
reveals no shortage of titles ready to describe the failings of
Mr Bush. Whilst some of it is clearly over hyped nonsense
simply can’t take four
there does seem to be a consistent amount of evidence
more years of his bluff
against the man in some areas. For a start, the Bush
disregard for the natural
administration is driven more by its financial backers in
environment.
Industry than any before it. Not only the huge oil companies
that paid for most of his first campaign but also the amount
And the war? Well, this is not intended to be a vehicle for
of business that has fallen into the lap of Bush allied
an anti war rant. I think you can say with some certainty
companies like Halliburton. It seems hard to believe that the
that they were not exactly straight with the facts prior to
policies initiated that
‘Bush Bashing” invasion. What really gets my goat is the way Bush seems
benefit these firms and
to dress the Iraq issue up as some sort of religious crusade
the juicy contracts that
– a truly astonishing way to carry on in the 21st century.
have been awarded are
strictly a coincidence.
So will Kerry win? His individual characteristics that
Perhaps the worst thing
would define him as a president are modest. He would
of all would probably
probably be a moderately good president – in the same
the consistent acts of
way that Tim Henman is a moderately good tennis player.
environmental piracy
Sincerely, I hope he wins. There’s simply no way he can
perpetuated on Bush’s
be any worse than Dubya.
watch. America it
14 features

Why should I do a placement?

If you’ve heard about other people’s experiences
during their placement year and are unsure whether
or not it is something you’d like to do, then this article
may clear a few things up for you.
It’s around this time of year that many second years will
be considering the possibility of placement, or if they
know they are going to do one which one to go for. From
someone who has just come back from placement, I can
recommend that if you are ‘umming’ and ‘aarring’ about
going on one, I would say do it.
Firstly, it gives you a year out from your studies - you might
not think you need one, but discussions with old course mates
of mine who did go straight through to their final year made
clear that many of them felt burnt out very quickly into their
first semester of their final year. If you have concerns about
‘getting back into your degree’ or ‘I’m going to forget how
to write an essay’ then fear not. It’s surprising how quickly
you get back into the swing of things when you return to
lectures and coursework deadlines. Secondly and more
importantly, a placement year gives you ‘work experience’
which is invaluable once you’ve graduated and enter the
workplace. It is very different to the ‘normal’ jobs that most
of us have tended to have during a prior to university e.g.
bar work, shop assistant etc. and is likely to be the longest
stint of full-time work that you would have ever done.
So what do you learn from your year? Most likely one of
the following:
1) I want to do this job as a career
2) I never want to do this job/profession ever again
3) I wouldn’t mind doing this once I’ve graduated but
maybe not for life.
You might think what is the point of going on a placement
that by the end of it think I never want to be in this profession
- well at least you found out before you graduated and it
will give you a chance to re-think your future. If you find
that you loved the work you were doing in your placement
then how much better will you feel knowing what you’re
doing for your degree? You may even be offered a job for
once you’ve graduated. The skills that you will learn about
yourself will also prove invaluable for what jobs you do in
the future. For example, I have learnt from my placement
that I thrive on working with people around me, as I get very
lonely working on my own! It also gives you a confidence
to do things that you may have never realised you had - by
the end of my year I was managing a whole department on
my own. Now I am back from placement, I can tell who
in my final year has done a placement and who hasn’t -
people have come back more confident and more mature.
Placement will also re-assess how you work and manage
your time for your final year. Working an 8am till 6pm
job, I have come to realise how much you can actually
achieved in a day if you really commit and put you mind
to it, something that has stood me in good stead this year!
So if you’re thinking ‘I want to do a placement, but I don’t
know what’ just do something. The reason why Surrey
has the highest employment figure after students have
graduated is because of the large percentage of them having
done a placement. Don’t not be part of that statistic.
Georgina Micklewright

Chancellors Challenge
Channie’s Challenge. Every Thursday,
unsurprisingly located in Chancellor’s,
and it starts at 8:30pm.
Why is it being hailed as the social
event of every Thursday night? Two
reasons – and you’d be forgiven for
thinking they are Ewan and Neil. But
no, that’s not it.
Firstly you can win guaranteed cash
prizes. In past weeks first prize has
been around the £70 mark, with
second and third coming in around
£40 and £20 respectively.
Secondly it costs just a quid per person,
and it’s something to do on a Thursday to get down to
night. Afterwards there may also be a Chancellors on a
society event in the HRB – this year Thursday night,
has seen 60s and 70s nights, and traffic then quite
light parties. frankly we’re
glad you’re
Thirdly – and yes we lied about there not there.
only being two reasons but getting
things wrong is a common theme in All that we ask in
our quiz, it’s fun. Nobody takes it too return of giving away
seriously. Those that do get mocked, lots of freebies is that you
those that don’t end up winning. think of a funny team name. One such
example – “Superman costume for
And finally, previous weeks have sale… Trousers hardly worn”.
seen girls getting their tops off and
blokes dancing in a very ridiculous p.s. If you get offended during the
manner. If that’s not enough reason course of the night – sorry
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
A Beginner’s Guide to the EU
Constitution
On Friday 29th October the 25 heads
the member states of the European
Union came together to sign the EU
constitution. This historic event took
place in Rome and marks the beginning
of a two year struggle to get the treaty
ratified in all 25 member states.
What is in this constitution thing?
The various political parties have all tried to put a spin on
this, but there is some truth in the claims made that this
is a “tidying-up” exercise. The constitution is meant to
condense the 80,000 pages of the existing European treaties
into one single document. The structures of the EU were
designed for a community of six member states, and now
there are 25, with possibly more joining in the next couple
of years, so something really needed to be done to take
account of that. Since 2000 the voting rights have changed
so that a decision cannot be vetoed by one member state.
This makes making decisions in the EU easier and more
efficient. The constitution will also have a charter of basic
rights to protect EU citizens.
Sounds good! What’s wrong with that?
This all depends on your view of Europe. Until now
European integration has mostly been along economic
lines, but this takes it more towards political integration.
This means the EU could affect something like foreign
policy or immigration. Because member states have now
lost their veto, they might be bound to a decision they don’t
agree with. Tony Blair insists he has “red lines” in Europe
which he will not cross, over tax, asylum and defence, but
opponents are worried Britain is losing its sovereignty
– the authority of British institutions over British citizens.
Looking at it positively, that means British citizens’ rights
are protected even from the British government, but it takes
away the some of the power Britain has in deciding things
for itself.
I don’t like it! What can I do?
Don’t panic, Britain is one of a possible 9 EU member states
to be holding a referendum on this issue. The Conservatives
want this to be held in 2005 and will hold it as soon as they
can if they are elected in the general election next year. Jack
Straw the Home Secretary has said the referendum will be
in early 2006 because Britain is holding the UK presidency
features 15
in 2005 (so all the big EU meetings will be held here) and
they don’t want to send out any anti-Europe vibes during
that time. If the constitution is rejected in
any member state no-one is quite sure what
will happen, but it will probably mean going
back to the drawing board and finding a
compromise.
Will any of this actually affect me?
It’s probably only going to become significant
if the EU tries to make Britain do something it
doesn’t want to do. Compared to a lot of EU
states which have the Euro and which do not
have “red lines”, the UK is in a pretty cushy position and
can mostly get its own way, so this probably won’t happen.
At least now you’ll be in the know if it does!
Classifieds
Got something to sell? Want to market it to around 6,000
students? Tired of wasting money on posters for campus that
get torn down and generate little interest?
Well then why not advertise your goods in barefacts? All
you have to do is provide a contact name, description of
what it is you want to sell, and a rough estimate of the price
you’re looking for. We won’t publish any contact details – if
someone’s interested then they’ll email the barefacts office and
their details will be passed on to you.
There will only be a limited space offered for classifieds, so get
them in quick to avoid missing the next edition!
barefacts – as good as you make it!
barefacts is, unlike some things, completely regulated
by those that contribute and make submissions to it.
That means if you want to provide feedback on anything
regarding barefacts you can and are most definitely
within your right to!
If you don’t agree with the content, let us know. If you
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address, so keep them coming!
16 features
Focus on Chancellors
So, What is Chancellors?
Ask that question to any group of people, and more than
likely each person will tell you something different. Nearly
every student at Surrey University will visit Chancellors at
some point during their 3,4, or 5 years of uni life. Some
visit just the once, others once a week, and some can’t get
through a day without ‘passing through’ (ok….I admit it,
that’s me!). Some love the place, others hate it but wouldn’t
it be a boring place if everyone was indifferent?
Back to the question in hand though, what is Chancellors?
Is it, the place you go for a quick snack between lectures?
Is it where you go after you’ve finished that important
essay or exam for a celebratory/commemoratory drink? Is
it where you go to watch
the premiership football
on the weekends? Or
even just where you start
the night on Wednesday
before going upstairs to
Rubix? OR is it all of the
above?
bar, shout and swear
at each other whilst
staring at anything
in a skirt, and then
watching them come
in the next morning
with their parents,
acting all coy and
polite, desperately hoping that none of their team see them
holding Mummy’s hand!
For those of us whose lives don’t revolve around drinking
stupid amounts of purple coloured alcohol, there are plenty
of other reasons to head down to Chancellors though. For
example, did you realise that there is live entertainment five
days a week this semester? Monday and Saturday being the
only two quiet nights a week. Plus, you get nearly all this
entertainment for free, the only night you pay to get in is
Tuesday.
• Monday - Chilled out evening.
• Tuesday - Comedy Club starts at around 20.30
and is always packed, tickets are sold from the
Union Shop in advance which alternates with
Karaoke each week.

Chancellors has been around for donkeys years, anyone
who’s really interested need just ask Guzman, the (cough)
slightly older waiter who you see everyday. Its rumoured
Guz has been working at chancellors for around 20 years!
And has seen it change beyond recognition in that time. He
often tells me of a time when Chancellors was a proper sit-
down restaurant and was only open for a few hours each
day to lecturers! Imagine lecturers having the run of the
place now! Who can imagine the chants we’d here from the
sports clubs on Wednesday night….
• Wednesday - DJ Jez (erm…. That’s me, and yes
it’s a shocking name!) Warms the place up with
cheesy 80’s & 90’s hits.
• Thursday - Chancellors Challenge starts at 8:
30pm and is hosted by Ewan and Neil. It only
costs £1 to enter, and cash prizes are on offer.
• Friday - More DJ action to get you in the mood
for dancing.

“We like to drink with Dr Hampleton BSc MDf DIk, • Saturday -

Coz Dr Hampleton BSC MDf DIk is our mate, mate, Premiership
mate…….” Football and
other sporting
I’ve been working at Chancellors for almost a year events
now, and do you know what I enjoy the most? It’s not
watching the ugly bloke copping off with the really fit (but • Sunday - Live
completely hammered) blonde in the corner. It’s not even music from local
(as many will presume) telling someone they’ve had too bands on stage.
much to drink and having them argue with me that they ‘are
fine’ and have ‘hardly had anything to drink’ whilst they
struggle not to throw up on my shoes. No, it’s watching Without Chancellors, the university would be a much duller
the big manly sports teams (you know… Footballers, rugby place (and I wouldn’t get paid!)
players, womens’ rugby players, hockey boys) come in
after a match. Get some drinks in, hurl furniture around the
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
‘Someone hand the NUS a paddle....’
Fucked. Shafted. Up
shit creak. All words
and phrases that can
be used to describe
the current position of
the NUS. Last year the
NUS spent £4.1 million
against an income of £3.65 million and it
is currently operating on an overdraft of
some £1.2 million; the NUS isn’t actually
insolvent yet since it owns shares in
Endsleigh insurance and is selling
its London headquarters, however its
heading that way and quickly.
The NUS National Executive Committee
(NEC) obviously realises that it needs to
find a lot of money as soon as possible.
Aside from the £3.4 million in affiliation
fees that the NUS gets each year from
each member Union it’s main sources
of income are the advertising from the
website (£240k) and the £100k is gets
from selling the associate member NUS
card, these income streams are unlikely
to increase. The NEC has therefore
concluded that other than asset striping
the organisation the only option is to
charge for the NUS card.
The NUS has been researching the
idea of charging for the card since last
November, although this Union only
found out about it on Monday at the
regional conference since it was not
included in the research; indeed of the
19 Unions that were included not a single
one was in the Southeast (or Southwest
for that matter). Nice.
The research consisted of 800 interviews
and 6 focus groups; it concluded that
72% of students would be willing to
pay the delightfully eccentric figure of
£6.82 (an average one presumes) for the
current card. When vaguely asked about
how much they’d pay for an ‘improved’
features 17
(maybe some travel discounts, maybe
some food discounts, maybe) the figures
increased to 88% of students and £10.41.
Therefore the NEC is currently proposing
to charge between £5 and £10 for the
discount card. Since the average students
apparently gains £200 from using their
NUS card each year (does anyone
really spend £2000 a year in HMV and
Topshop?) this is supposedly a bargain.
The NUS reckons it could net as much as
£7.2 million a year from selling the card.
At this point it should be noted that the
charge for the card will of course be
independent and in addition of the current
affiliation fee that every Union pays to
the NUS each year (Surrey’s is about
£40k odd). Whilst on the subject of other
Unions, it is not proposed by the NEC at
this point that there be an additional free
representational card to facilitate getting
into other Unions if you don’t want to
shell out for the discount card.
Obviously the whole issue of charging
for the NUS card raises some important
questions for Surrey especially since
there is to be a vote on whether this
Union should remain a member of the
NUS in February. The principal question
is of course whether this Union should
support charging for the card? This is
intrinsically linked to how much value
the average student thinks that they get
from the NUS at present, if it turns out
that students primarily see the NUS as a
discount provider then should we still be
giving them £40,000 a year if individual
students are then going to have to pay
£10 to receive the discounts? If you have
a view on the issue why not submit a
motion to the next Union Council (30th
November) and make your voice heard.
Ewan Panter
VP Education & Welfare
PERSONALS
After three editions of
encouragement, we’ve finally
been flooded with personals
- they seem to be back with
a vengeance! To get your
personal in the next edition, e-
mail barefacts@ussu.co.uk with
“personals” in the message line.
!!!!!Gonzo’s is now open. Every
wednesday and friday after the
union. 2am-breakfast. Look out for
club reps in the union!!!
marcthemong.com
So Brad Pitt.... he’s Troy right?
Just let it out
184 GPA- house party every night xx
Baby I Dont Care Where You’ve
Been Before- SnakeEyes
Token Whites
Rosh and Joger
Top Floor Girls are classy ladies!!!!
christine, you are so beautiful xx
jojo can i take u out for a malibu
woooowoooo? - from your albino
lover m xxxx
Is that a duck? Oh no, it’s a swan.
Er war echt ein schlechter Fick!
he may have the best dress sense,
but he’s got the worst face!
Lesson number one: buy the girl a
drink and show her some respect
£55, 49 games, 1 penalty. Unlucky
Marc...
Garlic? Bread? Garlic bread?
has anyone seen my hat?
Can I borrow your deep body heat
please?
 Friday 5th - 20th November
Get updates direct to your inbox, www.ussu.co.uk/grapevine

£3 before 10:30pm £4 afterwards, no £1 tickets

Fri
Saturday Football
12:45 Aston Villa V Portsmouth Cigars and Good Living
Returns to Rubix
Sat 17:15 Crystal Palace Varsenal
Chancellors c i g a r s a n d g o o d l i v i n g
9pm-2am
£2 before 10:30pm £4 after
Sunday Football Free Film
14:00 Mboro V Bolton
HRB 8pm Sexy Beast
Sun 16:00 Man Utd V Man City
Chancellors 28 Days
Spiderman 2HRB 8pm Later

Mon
Karaoke!
Rubix for £1 tickets
on sale today from
the Union Shop Songs you never wanted to hear
Chancellors Sung by people you’ve never met
Tue
With Leroy Wilson “Little Sister”
Requests, Shouts, A tribute to Big Brother
Wed Dedications Subject to lots more applications
Rubix for £1 tickets

hancellors Challenge
on sale today from
the Union Shop
Chinese Asian Society
Thu Rubix 9-2am
9-2am £2
Its the quiz of the week.
Chancellors 8pm

Flirt!
9-2am £3 before 10:30
£4 after
Guests in advance
Fri £1 tickets available on Thursday
£2 tickets available from Chancellors

Saturday Football
Tamil Society Hellenic Society
12:00 Spurs V Arsenal Rubix 6-10pm Rubix 11pm-2am
HRB 10pm-2am
Sat 17:15 Birmingham V Everton
Chancellors

Sunday Football Free Film

14:00 West Bromwich V Mboro HRB 8pm
Sun 16:00 Newcastle V Man Utd
Chancellors SHREK
Sexy
28
HRB 2 Later
Beast
Days
8pm
Mon
Tickets:
Reserved £4
Unreserved £3
Tue Available from
the Union Shop

With Leroy Wilson Main Union 9-2am

£2 before 10:30 REY DA

SUR

NC
Requests, Shouts,
Wed

E
£4 after SQUAD
Dedications Guests £5 in advance

Asian / Afro Carribean Society hancellors Challenge

Rubix 10pm-2am
Thu 9-2am £2
Its the quiz of the week.
Chancellors 8pm
Make History in your pyjamas
The Worlds Largest Pillow Fight Record Attempt
We need 1200 to Come to the Union at 9pm
Saturday Football
12:45 Man Utd V Charlton Returns to Rubix
10-2am
Sat 17:15 Portsmouth V Man City
Chancellors

Sunday Football Free Film

16:00 Blackburn V Birmingham HRB 8pm
Sun Chancellors
See grapevine for details

LITTLE SISTER On November 10th

8 select students will go into
a room, 4 hours, and 7 tasks
later one will emerge with £500
Do you have what it takes
to let the audience keep you
8 students, 4 hours, 1 winner in the room?
Live in the Union Apply now, and return the
£500 cash prize Application form to reception
before Monday November 8th
Why should you be chosen for little
Name
sister?
URN
e-mail
phone
Applicants must be full time students of the
University of Surrey. By entering this competition,
you are allowing the Students’ Union full rights to
your personal image for the duration of the
competition. Your data will not be used for any other
20 features
Annual Charity Dinner Dance
Committee (CDDC) Awareness
Campaign:
Fancy attending the night of your
University life?

Don’t be a twat If so come on down to the Charity

It’s a Students’ Union. Here
for the students, made for the
students, but more importantly
it’s funded by the students.
Essentially, everything that goes
into the Union from students goes
back into students.
Everyone who has half a brain
can work this simple equation out.
It’s all good when people spend
money in the Union, because it
means there’s more in the pot for
clubs, societies, and for getting
decent acts in Rubix.
However there seem to be a few
muppets around the University
that take it upon themselves to
vandalise the Union building.
From booting the wall behind the
table football (‘Foosball’) table to
stealing microphones, it’s really
that sad. If you lose at table
football repeatedly, don’t waste
50p of your money by playing
the game. If you can’t afford to
buy toilet rolls then apply for a
hardship loan – don’t try and rip
them from the toilets.
In short, the more people break
and smash stuff in the Union
the less likely it is that facilities
will be affordable in the future.
The Union won’t bother buying
more minibuses for sports clubs,
or subsidise society costs – so
if anyone sees anyone mucking
about, do the good thing and let
someone know.
Dinner Dance 2005!
So the Charity Dinner Dance we hear you
say; what actually is it! Well read on and all
will be revealed.
In 1967 a group of Hotel and Catering
students decided to host a ball to raise money
for charities within the local community
and was named the ‘Charity Dinner Dance.’
Since then over 15,000 people have been
entertained and over £150,000 has been
raised for various charities. Come February
26th 2005, Surrey University will see the
38th consecutive Charity Dinner Dance.
The Dinner Dance itself is held at one of
London’s finest 5* hotels and all previous
have been a great success. Each year the
committee chooses two charities to benefit
from the proceeds of the dance. As last year
the chosen charities are Tommy’s and Cherry
Trees. Tommy’s is a charity dedicated to
saving babies’ lives, by researching into
premature infant mortality and providing
information for mothers while Cherry
Trees is a Surrey charity who provide
respite care for handicapped children.
As normal the event is open to all students
and staff of Surrey University, and of course
respective partners. Tickets will be available
over the coming weeks priced at £50. This
includes a drinks reception on arrival, a
sumptuous meal, coffee & truffles and a
half bottle of wine per person. A live band,
acoustic acts, a magician and an illusionist
will provide entertainment, and the evening
will also feature a grand raffle with some
spectacular prizes, a photographer and a
vodka luge. Return coach services will also
be provided on the evening.
The Committee is already organising
various fund raising events for the coming
months. These include:
The ‘Balloon Launch extravaganza’
on November 23rd in the Lakeside
Restaurant
Tickets for the Dinner Dance can be won as
well as other fantastic prices. Plus you get
free food and drink!
A massive end of semester bash in Roots
on Wednesday 15th December.
Special drinks offers will be available, as
will complimentary beverages upon entry
and of course our very own ‘raunchy’
Santa!
Jazz & Cocktails in Chancellors next
semester.
Starting at 7pm in Chancellors on Friday
of Week 1 we will be organising a Jazz &
Cocktails evening. Entry cost £1.50 and
for this you get £2 off entry to the Union, a
live band, Judge Mental on the decks and of
course great cocktail deals courtesy of our
outrageous flaring cocktail barman!
Moving on up to the Union there will be
vodka luges, great music and drinking
games including that old favourite, Wacky
Races, where you could win up to £450!
This is THE event of the University
calendar and an excellent night out for both
staff and students. Thank for reading and we
hope to see as many of you in attendance as
possible! Further information on the event
is available from www.dinnerdance.info
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
Where Are They Now? - Katherine Heslop
In the coming weeks this page will be bringing you stories
of our Alumni and where their lives and career paths
have taken them since graduation. I want to investigate
what we can learn from their experiences, both as past
students and in the working world today and note any
words of wisdom that can be passed on to you!
One of the graduates I caught up with recently was
Katherine Heslop, who graduated in 1998 after successfully
completing a BSc (Hons) Degree in Hotel & Catering
Management.
What were your best / worst memories from your time
at UniS?
My best memories are …all the people I met at University,
my placement year, and the additional catering jobs we
worked at, which took us to many great sites in London -
the British Museum, WhiteHall and Cartier Polo in Windsor
Great Park. Oh and I met my future husband!
The worst was when they introduced 8am lectures, a lack
of money until I discovered the additional income from
catering jobs, the walk in to University when living off
campus and doing considerably more hours per week than
my friends on other courses due to our practical days in the
Lakeside restaurant!
Where did you go on your placement year & what was it
like? I decided to go to Swindon, to a family owned, country
house hotel called Blunsdon House Hotel. It was great as I
learnt about the real world and working 50-60 hour weeks.
I also learnt how to budget and where the best bars &
nightclubs were! Also, from a Human Resources (HR) point
of view I could understand how all the departments worked
as I was moved to a different department each month as part
of the training plan. It also helped me considerably in my
confidence and obtaining a position after graduating very
quickly as I was more attractive to prospective employers
Was it hard finding a job after graduating? I decided to
start looking at the graduate schemes on offer quite early on,
so I started applying in the autumn term. I took quite a few
knocks, as all my friends did, but became more confident the
more interviews, assessment days and application forms I
completed. I finally accepted a place on the graduate trainee
programme for Radisson Edwardian Hotels. They offered
me an opportunity in HR which most companies would not
consider offering to a graduate straight out of Uni.
Why did you choose H.R.?
I liked the involvement you have with all departments in
the hotel and the wide variety of tasks and responsibilities.
21
It also allowed me to gain a
professional qualification which
I can transfer to any industry.
HR is very much a business
partner which enables a business
to make the most of its people
resource, which in the service
industry is a necessity. What
I find most rewarding is giving
someone an opportunity to join
our organisation, and watching
them progress in their career through coaching, mentoring,
training and development.
Do you need additional qualifications to progress further
in HR?
9months after graduating I decided to study for my CIPD
(Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development). This is
a professional, post graduate qualification which I was able
to complete in 1 1⁄2 yrs due to some of the exemptions from
my degree.
You ideally need to be in an HR role to undertake it as you
can use your work place as a case study to put into practice
a lot of what you learn. You can either focus on generalist
HR, purely personnel or purely training & development. I
opted for the Human Resources Management Diploma.
As you gain practical experience you can increase your
membership with the Chartered Institute. I hope to attain
FCIPD once I have 10yrs HR Management experience.
This qualification is recognised across all industries like
chartered accountants and assists in gaining promotions and
securing senior HR positions and is often a pre requisite to a
lot of HR Mgr roles.
Any advice for those wanting to get into HR?
Gain work experience as much as possible whilst at Uni and
on placement, offer to train others too. On graduating be
prepared to start at the bottom in an HR admin / assistant role
to learn the basics. Once you start to gain HR experience
then it is easier to progress.
Telephone Campaign Update
The calling is now in its third week and pledges are building.
The Vice Chancellor and High Sheriff visited the call room on
Sunday 24th October to offer their
support and talk to the callers.
With thanks to the Alumni Office.
22 film
Remakes! Hurrah! The stigma
carried by remakes is a strong one
and for the most part, deserved. The
process of remaking an old film just
seems to involve sucking taking
the old film and sucking out all the
originality and creativity. Where they
put all this originality and creativity
once they suck out is beyond me,
they don’t seem to plough it into new
releases. Maybe it’s an efficient fuel
source?
Back to the plot at hand, both the
films reviewed this week are remakes
-However; I have seen neither of the
originals. So I have only my bias of
remakes to lean on... Will remakes
finally prove themselves worthy? Or
will the films on show here just be the
next to entries on the list of shame?
Read on to uncover the results…
The Grudge:
(Japan + Americans + Vengeful
Longhaired Female Ghost) – Modus
Operandi.
First on the cards is The Grudge (A
remake of the Japanese Ju-On films),
I believe we have two things to
thank for the genesis of this remake
1. The Ring & 2. Sam Raimi. After
the success of the original Ring films
(That one with the cursed video
cassette) and it’s American re-hash it
was inevitable that they’d try again
with a different Japanese horror
franchise and Sam Raimi’s had a fair
hand in getting this one to the West.
Sam gets various production credits
and a ‘Sam Raimi presents…’ at the
beginning – The ‘presents…’ tag,
similarly to the remake carries with
an aura of fear & distrust with respect
to the film’s content. Evidence? Any
film that Wes Craven’s presented is
usually dire. However things appear to
different for the Grudge, firstly it’s set
in Japan… and the director/writer for
this remake is the director/writer of the
Japanese originals!
Unfortunately Sarah Michelle Gellar
takes the lead. Plot wise the film
concerns Gellar as a student/care
worker sent to look after an elderly
house bound following her usual
nurse not turning up for work. After
arriving she quite rapidly discovers
the house is a bit on the odd side as
a curse starts chasing/killing anyone
entering it’s four suburban walls. Will
Karen be able find out what’s behind
this curse before it’s dispatched her
and everyone else? *scary noises*
As I mentioned earlier it’s quite hard
to talk about The Grudge without
bringing up The Ring in the process
(I think they share a large number
of producers/film makers), the best
comparison I’ve read is compare them
to Scream and Final Destination.
In Scream a stalk/slash/unmasking
template was forged and Final
Destination took out the unmasking
element, leaving just the slashing
basically. Similarly The Ring set a
Japanese curse template, there’s a
curse – you find out what the ghost
wants, you break the curse/escape it
– however the curse has an modus
operandi (Set method, e.g. in The
Ring you watch the tape and 7 days
later you die), the curse set out The
Grudge (Well, Ju-On) has no modus
operandi (Or M.O. as they’d say on
the TV) which means people drop like
flies anywhere anyhow. This can make
the whole thing a bit confusing, as can
the sliced up chronology of the film.
Despite these causes for confusion
the film was highly entertaining and
definitely jumpy. The acting’s pretty
boring/forgettable – Bill Pullman’s
confused Lost Highway stare never
leaves his face - however I was
incredibly pleased to see Ted Raimi in
the film (Sam Raimi’s seemingly long
suffering brother). The best bits are the
jumpy ghost-centric bits. All effective
despite the absence of gore and actual
attack scenes – although I have no clue
how comparable they are to the jumps
‘n’ scares in the Japanese originals.
It’s a shame they couldn’t have just
screened the Japanese movie(s) in
the cinema, but as I’ve mentioned in
past reviews, it’s not going to happen
anytime soon. But every cloud has a
silver lining; these remakes usually
encourage the audience to check out
the originals on DVD - So think of it
as a gateway to other (possibly greater)
things. Bottom line: An entertaining &
jumpy horror flick – And definitely
one of the scariest in recent years.
Alfie:
(Alfie – (Michael Caine + England)
+ (Jude Law + New York)) x (Smug
Gimp)
Back in the day the 1966 original of
Alfie was quite the shocking piece
of cinema thanks to it’s then highly
frowned at abortion scene and was
also a bit of a breakthrough role for
Michael Caine. Except now it’s Jude
Law in the womanising title role as
the eternally smug Alfie Elkins. The
film begins with Alfie telling us about
how his life works, basically him
humping his way across New York as
a chancing limo driver.
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
Maybe this is where things started to
go wrong for me, you usually set out
to make your protagonist likeable.
Alfie began by presenting me with a
character I wished would come under
the wheels of a bus. Following this
intro Alfie soon undergoes a number
of life changes, well, not really
changes – But events that make him
think about his life and his lifestyle.
Including getting his best mates life-
love pregnant, erectile dysfunction
(and penis biopsy) and a general
path of emotional destruction. Again,
these might be personal tragedies that
given a standard protagonist I’d care
and feel for the character (well, not
on the getting his mate’s girlfriend
pregnant bit) but alas, our protagonist
is Alfie. So I kept wishing he’d get hit
by that Bus. Or that he had cancer or
something. Instead you feel for all the
people he’s screwed over throughout
the years.
In a cinematography sense the film’s
incredibly stylish updating what I
assume was England’s stylish sixties
threads to the Gucci/Prada present.
The film/montage sequence of Alfie’s
Christmas had some novel editing
to it, so technically the film’s pretty
well done. However film’s usually
need plot and can’t be carried by
vapid style alone. Pretty much all
of the remakes of sixties Caine films
have this problem. The fallacy of
most remakes is the attempted (and
sometimes successful) cashing in on
an existing brand; if the recent Italian
Job remake wasn’t called The Italian
Job but something like Standard Heist
Film I doubt it would’ve offended as
many people as it did. The biggest
disappointment is that at the end of
it all you get the feeling that Alfie
didn’t actually learn a thing, even
after everything he’d been through
in the course of the film. Nothing is
learned, nothing is solved.
Now I can see how they’d probably
set Alfie up as a date movie; romantic
entanglements, Jude Law and all.
However if a woman watched this
she’d probably hate men even more
than she did when she went in… I’ve
never seen the original, and I’m not
sure I want to now.
(Alfie) + (The Grudge):
‘Fusion’ is a pretty ‘in’ concept at
the moment, combining film plots/
genres to create new multi-headed
monsters to unleash havoc upon
poor unsuspecting cinemagoers.
And it’s only a matter of time before
remakes gets roped in to the swirling
celluloid mess. So, let’s take the sums
of the last 2 films and combine them!
Maths is fun!
((Alfie – (Michael Caine + England)
+ (Jude Law + New York)) x (Smug
Gimp)) + ((Japan + Americans +
Vengeful Longhaired Female Ghost)
– Modus Operandi) = ?
Now the absence of Caine & the
original Alfie elements are negligible
and inverse to standard maths the 2
Americas should cancel…
((Alfie – (Michael Caine + England)
+ (Jude Law + New York)) x (Smug
Gimp)) + ((Japan + Americans +
Vengeful Longhaired Female Ghost)
– Modus Operandi)
Which would then leave us with…
((Alfie + Jude Law) x (Smug Gimp))
+ (Japan + Vengeful Longhaired
Female Ghost) – Modus Operandi
Giving us the basic structure of our
fusion film!
Jude Law plays Alfie, a smug
womanising gimp. Who, for no
reason whatsoever, moves to Japan
where he unwittingly starts putting
the moves on a Vengeful Longhaired
Female Ghost. Resulting in him
having is jaw removed, eventual
death and curse upon his family.
I’d pay to see that. Wouldn’t you?
Coming Soon… Some very short
previews of films coming soon…
film 23
Churchill: The Hollywood Years:
Supposedly due December 3rd, this
is one of those film’s I’m really quite
looking forward to. The basic plot is
that some U.S. movie mogul types
come over to England to shoot a film
concerning England’s most famous
wartime Prime minister, Winston
Churchill. Only to discover he was a
slightly spherical, rather unattractive
cigar-smoker… So they replace him
with a more eye-appealing Christian
Slater. Apart from Christian Slater &
Neve Campbell (Winston Churchill &
The Queen respectively) the cast list
reads like a who’s who of UK comedy
(Rik Mayall, Jon Culshaw, Mackenzie
Crook and the actor Kevin Eldon to
start the list off). Written/Directed by
Peter Richardson, who directed the
Comic Strip, Glam Metal Detectives
(I remember it…) and Stella Street,
it looks like it’ll be wonderful send
up of the Americanisation of World
History; making Churchill & World
War II into something more like Die
Hard. I’m sold.
Garden State:
Attention Scrubs fans. Him who plays
J.D. (his name’s Zach Braff, by the
way) has written/directed a movie.
And apparently it’s very good.
In a funny/poignant kind of way, not
sure if this holds water but the trailer
made it look interesting.
The website says things better than
me (Although they have more Bias)
http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/
gardenstate/
Neil Boulton
24 albums
MOS DEF
The New Danger
Geffen
Once you (yes
you) make a classic
album, like say,
Black On Both Sides
by Mos Def, how
would you (still you)
successfully make an
incredible sophomore release, which
equals or betters its predecessor?
Anyone? Following the disappointing
Talib Kweli album, similar was
expected from buddy-in-rhyme Mos
Def. Ya know what hombres, much
to my beleaguering puzzlement this
album is intricately beautiful in every
way known to our sentient receptacles.
I actually reckon I’m praising this so
much merely to use indecipherable
words just to piss you off. Who knows,
but either way this album isn’t hiphop.
It’s basically a party attended by
Hendrix, The Roots and Bob Marley,
PLACEBO
Once More With Feeling – Singles
1996 - 2004
EMI
This album is a lot
like ‘Ronseal’ wood
varnish – it does
exactly what it says on
the tin. A predictable
selection of Placebo’s
finest moments from
their long musical career. Everyone
has a favourite Placebo song, so it’s
hard to pinpoint a ‘standout track’,
however the new single, included on
this album Twenty Years, is fantastic.
This album is for anyone who likes
the occasional Placebo track, but
wouldn’t call themselves a die-hard
fan. Basically, it’s the best bits of their
past albums, minus the fillers.
**** j. n
ROBBIE WILLIAMS
Greatest Hits
Chrysalis
Another of the
pre-Christmas
onslaught of
compilations,
Robbie Williams’
‘Greatest Hits’ is
actually justified.
There is no denying it, the man has
produced some extremely good pop
songs over the last eight years. The
album starts way back with Robbie’s
debut album and, of course, the
widely acclaimed ballad ‘Angels’ is
on here. Moving down the years and
all of Robbie’s floor fillers have been
included, ‘Let Me Entertain You’,
‘Rock DJ’ and his duet with Kylie,
‘Kids’ are all highlights. (The recent
number one ‘Radio’ is on here too.)
This album had me singing along
despite myself and is a definite must
for any Robbie fan. **** b.h.
THE EIGHTIES MATCHBOX B-
LINE DISASTER
The Royal Society
No Death Records
If dead Joy Division
front man Ian Curtis
were resurrected as
an evil clown he’d
probably create an
album similar to this,
sounding menacing and disturbed,
but at the same time theatrical and
circus like (the fact Eighties Matchbox
drive around in a late 1940’s English
limousine with flamed wheel arches
doesn’t help). It kicks off with fast
paced aggression of “Rise Of The
Eagles” and continues with forty more
quality minutes of rock, apart from
the quite frankly embarrassing track
“Puppy Dog Snails”, which sounds
like it was created by a bunch of six
year olds in a playground. **** c.d.
THE VERVE
This Is Music: The Singles
Virgin
This collects
together The Verve’s
12 singles from their
6-year career before
splitting at the
height of their fame.
Anyone merely after
the hits (Bittersweet Symphony, Lucky
Man, the amazingly sad and beautiful
The Drugs Don’t Work) is better off
getting the classic Urban Hymns
album, but as an introduction to their
earlier work this is a decent collection.
Both noisy, swirling, experimental
epics, like Gravity Grave, and songs
hinting more at their future success,
like the gorgeous History, are well
represented. There are also two
unreleased songs, although they
don’t even compare well to Richard
Ashcroft’s much-derided solo stuff.
*** i.f.
SUM 41
Chuck
Mercury
No longer are these
Canadians merely
poster boys for the
oversubscribed
punk wave that
seems to be hitting
our shores lately, this is definitely
more of a rock thing. Heavy guitars
and serious riffs tear through the tracks
helped by no longer bouncy but rather
shouty vocals. It is clear that being in
the middle of a war zone (they were
helping out in the Congo) has shaped
the making of their 3rd album. Also the
dude, Chuck, who helped them while
on their mission even gets this shiny
CD named after him. Who knows this
band may actually prove the ‘one hit
wonder’ theory wrong. *** d.m
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
FREESTYLERS
Raw As F**k
Against The Grain
Apparently The
Freestylers take full
live band with them
on tour (At Festivals
/ Fabric – which
is Unusual for a
dance act), I think
the album could have benefited from
having a more ‘live’ feel. As it stands
it just feels like generic dance with
different vocalists/MCs from track
to track. I prefer the instrumentals
(well, the one’s with the least vocals/
samples); some of the tracks are
ruined by the inclusion of vocals (e.g.
Get A Life would’ve been improved) It
might be too generic for it’s own good
- I had trouble remembering any of it
after listening to it… * n.b.
KINGS OF LEON
Aha Shake Heartbreak
Hand Me Down Records
After the
fantastically
received debut
Youth and Young
Manhood, Kings
of Leon had to
work hard to
produce an album
to live up to its predecessor. They’ve
managed it quite well, producing a
warmer and more mature sound, whilst
still kicking out some killer rock’n’roll
hooks, particularly in the blues-tastic
Pistol of Fire, Razz and current single
The Bucket. Lyrically, it’s more mature
as well, reflecting on their experiences
of the past couple of years, as opposed
to the youthful hopefulness of their
debut. Of course if you hated the first
one you’ll hate this, but you still won’t
be able to get away from it. **** j.a.
KRISTIAN LEONTIOU
Some Say
Polydor
Songs like this confuse me. They are
written to sell to large audiences, but
don’t actually possess the commercial
appeal to sell in significant quantities.
Blah blah either way, standard watered
down Amy Winehouse-esque music
is delivered here. As a matter of fact,
this track makes me feel so strongly
indifferent, that I’m wasting your time
by talking about it. **.c.l.d.
RATATAT
Germany To Germany
XL
2 men from NYC, with guitars and
a drum machine – Sounds good…
Unfortunately Germany To Germany’s
heavily fx’d guitars (So much so they
sound like a keyboard) combined with
the slow beat of the drum machine and
bass just makes this instrumental track
all a bit too slow and boring. * n.b.
THREE DAYS GRACE
Just Like You
BMG
The second track to be taken from
Incubusesque Canadian band Three
Days Grace starts off well with
pounding guitar riffs and drums,
unfortunately it continues like this
for the next three minutes without
anything interesting actually
happening. If only they occasionally
let rip or at least changed the tempo it
JAMELIA
DJ/ Stop
Parlophone
I was disappointed with ‘DJ’ after the
success of her previous single (written
by Chris Martin), the shining star of
British r n’b has produced a catchy
pop tune, whilst proving a popular
choice in the clubs, its no master piece.
‘Stop’ is a more soulful song, showing
why she’s queen of r n’b.
** s.c
singles 25
DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979
Romantic Rights
Atlantic
DFA are a Canadian duo with a
difference, they’re a drummer and a
bassist. Don’t let this put you off as
they have created a rock n’ roll tune
you can dance to, they are the drum
and bass white stripes. Whether will
lead to a ground breaking LP you’ll
just have to wait and see. *** s.c
HOOBASTANK
The Reason
Mercury Records
A predictable single from a predictable
band. Blown to dizzying fame with a
track in the Spiderman movie, one gets
the impression this whiny, emotional
ballad was released purely to please
their growing fan-base of pre-teen,
angsty, middle class ‘greebos’. Not
unpleasant to listen to, but not really
an amazing track.* *j.a
GEORGE MICHAEL
Round Here
Sony
A typically George Michael single,
Round Here has a chilled out feel, with
mellow lyrics sung over a laid back
beat and synth string accompaniment
that you can just drift off to whilst
you’re listening. The song doesn’t
really go anywhere though and
just kind of floated around for five
minutes, which felt like a very long
time. ** a.s.
THE RASMUS
First Day Of My Life
Universal
While these Finnish goths may really
be about as sinister as McFly, it was
unsurprising when the devastatingly
catchy (and rather silly) In The
Shadows finally gave them a hit here.
This unmemorable attempt at an
anthem seems most likely to still leave
continuing the slide back to obscurity
though. ** i.f.
26 live
Stunning! There are not enough Already having supported
SIA WILLY MASON
superlatives to describe this the likes of Ben Kweller, and
Kings Cross Scala show. On entering we were Kings Cross Scala
tonight in support of 22-20’s,
Thurs 28th Oct handed a pair of 3D glasses this 19 year old troubadour Weds 27th October
and told there was a surprise looks to have quite a future
in store. After a rather quirky ahead of him. He has a
support act that certainly got the crowd off their chairs, fantastic line in acoustic blues-country tunes that sound
even if it was only to see who was playing the goat’s bell so simplistic, yet contain some spellbinding guitar work.
(interesting choice of instrument), Sia took to the stage. Highlights of his set included Live It Up (also seen on Jools
The surprise wasn’t just her amazing voice, which soared Holland on Friday 29th, for
from the powerful outburst of an emotional chorus to a anyone who was watching)
soft whispering verse laced and Oxygen, both
with vulnerability. It wasn’t highlighting Willy Mason
just her stage presence that as a singer-songwriter of
had the audience captivated, a talent to possibly match
with her lively chatter, girly Bob Dylan. Except Willy
dancing and glamorous can sing too. He’s that
outfit making it pure fun. damned good. j.a.
The surprise was the encore,
which blew us away. Fairy
lights and heart shaped disco
balls were now in place and
with the aid of the magic glasses the entire room filled Congrats to Richard Benson and Anna Bearryman
with hearts, literally, the lights had been transformed into - winners of Good Charlotte T-shirts. This week’s
twinkling love bubbles and all that was left was to take it all reviews by Jon Allen, Dina Mystris, Neil Boulton,
in and realise just how powerful music can be. d.m. Sam Carney, Matthew Conacher, Jon Darzi, Corin
L Douieb, Christopher Driscoll, Beth Heale, James
Newell, and Anna Shaw.

After a 5 year sabbatical to SOULWAX

pursue their 2ManyDJ’s side
project, the Dewaele brothers Astoria
have finally returned with the Thurs 28 October
th

rest of Soulwax and their new

album Any Minute Now. This new record isn’t like the
Soulwax of old at all. Whereas last album Much Against
Everyone’s Advice was rather mellow with a few rockers,
Any Minute Now is a combination of hard rocking synth-
led monsters and Euro-disco. Tonight, they opened with
most recent single E Talking, starting off with the long
techno introduction to get the crowd moving, before piling
in with the storming guitar riff that sent the Astoria into
orbit. The show continued along the same line all the way
through, with all the heavier numbers played (including
oldies Conversation Intercom, Too Many DJ’s and Much
Against Everyone’s Advice), right up until the end of the
first encore, where they unleashed the Peaches-esque NY
Excuse which got the crowd grooving again. Not only are
the new tunes sounding great, they were visually, as well
as aurally stunning. They’ve shown us they can DJ, now
they’re reminding us that they can play. j.a.
 barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
gu2 1350 am 27

GU2 goes LIVE!

For those that don’t know, GU2 is currently in its second
themed month. Last month’s theme was “Fresh”, and it
went down superbly after coming back from the summer
break. Fresh faces in the GU2 committee and brand new
voices on air meant that even the oldest tracks came with a
certain air of Freshness.
This month’s theme is brought in conjunction with
LiveSoc. At each of Live’s Tuesday night events, GU2
radio will be bringing you those sounds straight to your
radio through outside broadcasts. So if you’re having to
stay in to complete essays and revise for upcoming exams,
GU2 will provide that rocking remedy for Tuesday night
blues, ensuring that nobody misses out. Just tune in those
radios to 1350AM/MW.
Not just that, but GU2 will be playing all the best live
songs on air throughout the day too. Don’t think that ‘Live’
means ‘Rock’ – all the best from Bob Marley, Elvis Presley,
and just about every great live entertainer you can think of.
Just tune in and kick back whilst listening to the authentic
live atmosphere that GU2 will be trying to create over the
next month.
Also expect to see more of what happened last Monday
on the green area outside GU2 (which is outside Battersea
Court reception), and that’s ad-hoc outside broadcasts
with all kinds of bands, like ‘Bohica’ - who have recently
been signed to Copro Records after their debut album was
released last Monday, as well as all the favourite GU2
members. It’s going to be a month to remember.
And how about this – Maplin are selling pocket radios for
under a fiver! Why not snap one up and tune into GU2
whilst roaming round campus or when lecturers struggle
to keep your attention there’s always someone on 1350AM
that can. Get the radios at http://tinyurl.com/6h7by
All this month GU2 will be pleased to get anyone with
a passion for live music involved in getting their music
heard. If you are in a local band, or indeed want to promote
a local band or artist then please get in contact with GU2’s
marketing team by emailing marketing@gu2.co.uk we will
be able to provide a unique opportunity to get your music
heard by a potential audience of over 10,000 people and for
you to talk about your influences and musical styles.

slightly more guys than girls. Floor

LGBT goes to Brighton
A few weeks ago saw the
University’s LGBT society visit
Brighton to sample the nightlife
there.
After a rather late start we arrived in
Brighton raring to go, for many this was
their first trip to Brighton and their first
trip to a gay nightclub. We headed off
to a bar where we all got to know each
other over a few drinks and to catch up
with the news for those who hadn’t seen
each other for a while. Then it was off
to Revenge, one of Brighton’s biggest
and best gay clubs. Revenge had a
good mixed crowd, though there were
one played upbeat cheesy pop classics
including Culture Club, Abba, Blondie,
Tina Turner, Wham etc, while Floor 2
played more trance music.
The atmosphere was great and
everybody had a great evening (getting
all 13 of us out of the nightclub proved
slightly tricky!). After a late night
visit to a chip shop (the nearest one
seemingly on the other side of Brighton)
we travelled back to Guildford in time
to catch the milkman starting his rounds
and collapse into bed exhausted.
For more details about the lgbt society
A huge thank you to the committee email: lgbt@surrey.ac.uk
for organising the trip and to Scott for
driving the minibus. By Claire Hammonds
30 dave
Get beered up and still get a job?
Picture the scene – you’re sitting in a
lecture theatre full of around 100 people
that are studying a similar subject to you.
The majority of these 100 people will
receive a 2:1 or above in their course,
including you. There are about 100 other
lecture theatres around the country each
full of 100 people.
Welcome to the graduate market. That
degree you’ll be walking off with, unless
very specified, is likely to be one that
a lot of other people have. So what’s
going to make an employer pick you
over them?
Answer: DAVE.
Forget what it stands for or any other
management-speak babble. A guide to
DAVE in one sentence:
“DAVE involves students training
other students in personal development
sessions.”
That’s it. You turn up to a session, do it,
and you have something to put on the CV.
You turn up to more sessions and you
start getting certificates. You go to even
more and the certificates’ colour changes
from Bronze to Gold. Some sessions
may mean you don’t flunk exams at
the end of the year, or get caught up in
ridiculous amounts of student debt.
You’ll then realise you can say on your
CV, “I’ve been to award-winning skill
development sessions and am equipped
with knowledge and techniques to do
things such as be assertive, negotiate with
others to maintain the best deal, develop
and deliver strong presentations….”.
The list goes on, and so does the quality
of your CV.
If you’re really interested, you can apply
to be one of the DAVE trainers and train
other students.
Unfortunately it’s easy to say, “I’m good
at giving presentations, I’ve done lots
in my course” but that doesn’t show
that someone has taught you different
techniques and theory behind preparing
the delivering the presentation. It also
doesn’t show that you were keen to
improve and develop your personal
skills, as everyone on a degree course
does presentations. If you can say you
went the extra mile and learnt more
about them, then it incorporates the
volunteering aspect – another thing
employers want to see.
The beauty of DAVE is that you don’t
have to run a society or sports club
to get these skills. You don’t need to
work in USSU media or sit on a Union
Committee. You just need to give up 2
hours on a given day and get involved in
a session.You may not ‘learn’ anything
during a session. Many highlight skills
you knew were there, but may have
forgotten. It’s about teaching technique
through self-discovery learning. The
sessions themselves are a good laugh
– games are involved in most if not all,
and you get to meet other people in a
comfortable and relaxed environment.
So if you’re thinking about a placement,
DAVE will be a massive asset to the CV.
If you’re about to graduate, then DAVE
may well secure that job for you. Have
a look at the remaining sessions of the
year and see what giving up a few hours
over 6 months can get you whilst still
going out each night and enjoying the
Uni lifestyle.
For more info:
www.thedaveproject.co.uk
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
dave 31
 web
32 societies

Surrey Dance Squad, The Adventures of

At Flirt, on Friday 8th October, the ‘Baywatch’ theme tune
and Eric Prydz’s ‘Call on me’ were premiered and with a
very receptive audience! Laura “it’s a good day to die”
Robinson gave her all and her ankle paid the price. I’m sure
that Vicky enjoyed the affectionate
foot on her shoulder!
The traffic light party, on a cold
Thursday14th October night,
went down a storm and was the
first time the full squad danced as
one and proved to be a great team
building experience. Thanks for
the excellent support from the
footballers, not to mention our No.1
fans – GU2’s very own “Big Al and
the Sex Machine”.
Cyclone, on Saturday 16th
October, was SDS’s chance to prove their worth as more
than just ‘cheesy pop’ dancers. A little timid about
performing in front of a crowd gagging for the strippers
following us, the Glamour and Gangster night turned out to
be another fun and lively event.
The Breast Cancer Pink Party 20th October shattered
the illusion that the SDS is just for girls. Big Al, Sex
Machine, Dickie and Allen Tan joined the girls on stage for
a jointly choreographed performance to “I’m Always Here”
by Jimi Jamison, better known as the Baywatch theme.
The performance was very well received and the boys
even made a second appearance
at the end, joining all the girls for
Chesney’s “The One and Only”.
Thanks to those of you who
donated to our collection for Breast
Cancer Research.
However, the society is not all
about dancing on the union stage.
We have many members who
come along to enjoy dancing
and socialise. In November
we are having a society outing
to see The Hard Nut by Mark
Morris, a contemporary take on the traditional ballet The
Nutcracker.
Remember that the society is open to everyone, so come
along, not in a week, or a month, NOW! We meet every
Wednesday in Rubix from 1pm – 2.30pm.
Check out our website at www.surreydancesquad.co.uk
or e-mail us at surreydancesquad@hotmail.com.

Keep fit, Have fun, Meet people. Dance!

Through dancing lessons and practices,
Lesley Garret lost 17lb during the first
series of the BBC show. Aled Jones
has also lost over a stone in a couple of
weeks through training in the second
series. Who needs the gym?
There is a perfect way to keep fit, learn
a skill and be part of a social society
– The Ballroom Dancing Society. This
gives you the opportunity to try out all
of the dances you see on the TV show.
Just like the show we have
professionals, Vincent and Flavia
- the UK 10 dance champions, who
will guide you through the steps in the
improver and advanced classes. photos. Alternatively email
The beginner class is on a Wednesday info@surreybds.co.uk to ask any
at 7.45pm in University Hall. It is a questions.
fun class with a relaxed atmosphere
and is followed by a well-deserved Or just turn up on Wednesday 7.45pm
drink in Roots and maybe Rubix. University Hall – FIRST LESSON IS
The society has a competition team FREE.
to compete on the University Circuit.
This is a chance for the sexy sparkly
costumes and fake tan to come out
– just like Strictly Come Dancing,
but without the poor presenting from
Bruce.
For more information, check out
our website – www.surreybds.co.uk
where you’ll also find lots of
 careers
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
careers 33

u s s r e p l i e s .. . being. It may also help you to know that typically about

Dr. R
I’m worried that exams are looming and I still haven’t
filled out all the application forms I intended. What
should I do?
30% of Surrey graduates obtain their work by replying to
advertisements. Since these are more likely to be available
nearer to the time you graduate, you could decide to put off
applying till then knowing that you won’t have missed the
boat.
But aren’t they more likely to be smaller employers who
advertise in the summer?

This is one of those questions for which there is no right
or wrong answer. There are all sorts of personal issues
involved. For example, how important is it that you have a
definite job offer before you leave? It goes without saying
that the more applications you make, the more you increase
your chances of finding a job. Mind you, it is mainly the
larger graduate recruiters who set early closing dates for
receipt of application forms and they are also the ones who
are the most difficult to get into. Simply making lots of
applications doesn’t, unfortunately, guarantee you a job.
Only you can decide whether you want to make the extra
effort required to meet their deadlines and keep alive your
chances of employment with them.
I am wondering whether it might be better to concentrate
on my degree. What do you think?
If you are you on a borderline at the moment e.g. First / 2.1
or 2.1 / 2.2 and you think that spending too much time on
application forms will interfere with your chances of getting
a higher degree class, then you might benefit from a strategic
decision to put your job-hunting on hold for the time
Generally speaking this is true. Most of the employers who
recruit graduates in large numbers are likely to have filled
their vacancies. However, they sometimes get their sums
wrong or perhaps win contracts they weren’t expecting so
you can still pick up occasional vacancies with recruiters
who are popular with graduates. If your heart is set on a
Graduate Training Scheme with a major recruiter you could
also consider applying the following year.
Any final tips?
Just one. If you are someone who is good at getting on with
things through careful prioritisation and a well-organised
lifestyle, then you might be able to squeeze a few more
forms out of your busy schedule. If you decide to do that,
you can check closing dates in the Vacancies Bulletin on
the Careers Service website at http://portal.surrey.ac.uk/
careers. We also keep paper copies in the Careers
Service if you would prefer, together with other useful
information which could help you with your applications.
Dr Russ Clark | Careers Service

CAREERS EVENTS COMING UP...

WHY ASK ME THAT? weeks 10 and 12 and outsourcing services. They

MONDAY 8 NOVEMBER AT 1
PM IN LT F
One showing only of the video on
interviews. A careers adviser will
be present to discuss any points you
would like to raise.
SODEXHO*
MONDAY 8 NOVEMBER AT 6.15
PM IN LT M
International catering and support
services organisation. Details of
opportunities for graduates in any
discipline.
PRACTICE APTITUDE TEST*
WEDNESDAY 10 NOVEMBER
AT 2.15 – 4.15 PM IN LT B
Three sections to test your
logical thinking. The tests we run
are parallel to those that many
employers use as part of their
selection process.
LOGICA*
WEDNESDAY 10 NOVEMBER
AT 6.30 PM IN LT M
LogicaCMG: is a global solutions
company providing management and
IT consultancy, systems integration
are interested in students from any
numerate degrees with a significant
computer programming content also,
business backgrounds with a good
understanding of IT.
DEBENHAMS*
THURSDAY 11 NOVEMBER AT
6 PM IN LT M
A presentation about opportunities
for graduates and placement students
from all disciplines to join their
management training scheme.
* Please register with Careers
if you wish to attend or email
c.greaves@surrey.ac.uk
34 alumni
theatre
Twelfth Night
Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night has a plot that
would not be out of place in Eastenders or
Coronation Street. From the beginning you
are captured by both the Shakespearean
language and the acting ability of the
English Touring Theatre. Shakespeare’s
most popular comedy begins with one of his
most famous lines, ‘if music be the food of
love, play on.’ From then on in, it becomes
a tale of mistaken identity, love and perhaps
more appropriately drunken misbehaviour!
of friendships, both platonic and romantic.
In all Twelfth night provides an insight into
all levels of the human emotions in a light
hearted and fun way.
The English Touring Theatre is one of the
country’s most highly esteemed theatre
companies that really lives up to it award
winning reputation. Set up 11 years ago, the
ETT is continually working towards it goal of
bringing quality theatre to as many people as
possible. Once again the ETT succeeded in
maintaining its place as ‘a national treasure,
worth its weight in gold.’

Shipwrecked in a foreign country, Viola
disguises herself as a man for security.
What follows is a love triangle with Lady
Olivia and Count Orsino, and as they say
the course of true love never runs smooth.
Meanwhile Maria, Sir Toby Belch and
Sir Andrew Aguecheek are providing the
comedy, mostly at the expense of Malvolio,
Olivias pompous servant.
With drunken debauchery and practical
jokes, Twelfth Night is on one level a
funny and enjoyable play to watch; while
on a deeper level, exploring the dynamics
The Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, at the bottom
of town next to Debenhams, shows a wide
variety of plays. Student concessions are
available and future productions include:
8 - 13 November Round the Horne
15 - 20 November The Dresser
22 - 26 November Clouds
For more information contact the box
office on 01483 440000 or check out the
website: www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk
Helen Blunn

Sports Word Search

This week we have another Adidas gift pack
(smellies - shower gel, deodorant, that kinda
thing!) to give away to the lucky winner. All
you have to do is find 23 sports clubs (that
have been founded here at the University of
Surrey) in the grid on the left.

Once you have found them all, pop into see

us at the barefacts headquarters (The Media
Centre in the activities centre, where the
officers are) and the first winner to be drawn
out of a hat will receive their prize.

For the Latest BUSA Sports

Fixtures and Results Visit
www.ussu.co.uk/main/
sports/fixtures
 puzzles
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
sport 35

Sports Clubs
Sports Club has been running successfully at UniSPORT now
for over 5 years. Have you heard of Sports Club? What is Sports
Club I hear you ask?

Sports Club is a fun and interactive club for children with

disabilities. Children with all kinds of disabilities come to
the club, from wheelchair users to sufferers of autism. They
participate in a wide range of activities, including trampolining,
climbing and dance. The club is very friendly and both parents
and siblings often join in the fun and games over the 2 hour
sessions on Saturday mornings.

The club is run by a combination of UniSPORT staff volunteers

and volunteers from around the University (both current and past
students and staff). Everyone enjoys the sessions immensely.

Dave Last, a long serving volunteer at the club said (with a

cheesy grin on his face!), ‘When you leave the gym you feel
good, when you leave Sports Club you feel great!’ Roly Fletcher,
another die hard sports club volunteer said, ‘There is such a good
social feeling to the club and volunteers. We hold regular nights
out and all head up to Chancellors for a fry up after the club
finishes on a Saturday morning’.

Sports Club is always needs more volunteers. So if you are

interested in joining the team please drop by the Sports Centre
and ask for Simon, Sally or Vicki. Alternatively call 01483
689975 or email s.hards@surrey.ac.uk. Sports Club is an
excellent way to really make a difference to the lives of young
disabled children.

National League at the Varsity Centre UniSport - Class Update

On Tuesday 9th November, UniSPORT Guildford will Kick Aerobics – A unique class combining martial arts
be playing their first home game of the season in the and aerobics.
England Squash National Squash League at the Varsity
Centre. The match is against rivals Team Solent and starts When: Thursday 5.30pm – University Hall
at 7pm. Student Gold card holders get in free for this big Sunday 6.30pm - Studio
event and it is a unique opportunity to see world class Cost: £2
athletes in action. Student Gold card holders - Free

Squash Course – there are still places available for the

Varsity Beer Exhibition next 5 week squash course which started this week where
you can improve your skills and talents!
The annual Varsity Beer Exhibition is on Friday 26th
November from midday – 11pm with food being served When: Tuesday
from midday – 9pm and happy hour from 5 – 8pm. This Time: 6.30 – 7.30pm
annual event will have samples of beers and real ales Venue: Sport Centre
from all over the world and is free to get in. For more Cost: £10
details visit our website www.unisport.co.uk. Student Gold card holders £7.50
36 sport
sport
Basketball Overcome Another Obstacle
At the 3rd game of the BUSA championship, the Surrey Men’s
Basketball Team overcame another obstacle by beating Kent
University 78-64. At Wednesday’s home-game (27/11/04)
Surrey started off with strong defence in the first quarter which
helped to set its own rhythm and control opposition with a 21-
14 lead.
Kent University made a comeback during the second quarter by
scoring some quick points through fast-breaks. The third quarter
was relatively close with the lead changing on occasion.
Finally, strong defence was once again the tactic that gave
Surrey the victory. Over the fourth quarter all players played an
extremely strong and overwhelming defence, which caused the
opponents to loose the ball repeatedly. Surrey took advantage
of this by scoring several baskets through fast-breaks and
managed to win the game by a 14-point margin.
Womens Rugby Go Down Fighting
On Wednesday 27th October, the University of Surrey
Women’s Rugby team played their first BUSA match,
narrowly losing 14-12 to Reading. The team ran in two
tries from outside centre Quaff and openside flanker Nat,
playing in her first ever rugby match.
They made a good start - up two tries within
30 minutes due to the space created by some
good driving from the forwards, in particular
the second row combination of Danielle
“Bok” Malan and Rachel “Bof” Young.
Unfortunately Reading began to get their act
together and began putting together phase
upon phase of play.
Only dogged defence from Surrey prevented
Reading scoring on several occasions. Twice Reading
crossed the line only to be held up and prevented from
touching the ball down. On another occasion they dropped
the ball over the line, due in no small part to the hard tackles
being put in by the Surrey defence.
However, after a prolonged period inside the Surrey 22,
something had to give and on the stroke of half time
Reading used all of their considerable power (or bulk) to
crash over the line. The defence was stretched following a
series of scrums and line outs five metres from the Surrey
line and after setting up a rolling maul in the centre of the
pitch, space opened up for the Reading fly half to touch
down near the posts.
Reading began the second half with the same attitude that
they ended the first and confined Surrey to their own 22
for the opening period. However thanks to Nat’s kicking,
Surrey began to move up the pitch.
The next game For Surrey is on the 10th November 2004 in
London, against London Metropolitan University. On behalf
of the whole team, a very big ‘thank you’ to all the fans that
systematically come down to the sports centre and give their
own battle outside the court. Last but not least, a note to the
Cheer Leading Club which supports the Men Basketball team
at all home-games. Girls, your show is definitely one of the
highlights of the game. Good luck for Sunday’s dancing
competition!
Finally, we recommend to all of you to come down to the Sports
Centre on every other Wednesday, to live the game together
with the players, cheer leaders and the rest of the fans.
words: Nick Panayiotou
Unfortunately, at this point the injuries began to occur.
Firstly scrum half Jenni Razey badly sprained her ankle
and had to go off, taking the team down to 14 players. This
meant the backline had to change positions. Then fresher
prop Claire suffered a bad shoulder injury and also had to
sit on the sidelines. As a result, Bof moved to the front row
and captain Helen “Old Tart” Clark had to play
on the other side of the scrum.
Reduced to 13 players, Surrey came under
increasing pressure from Reading but held
firm for a long time. Indeed the team actually
began to drive forward through Heather
“Smutty” Leach and Emma “Flash” Wallace.
Finally Reading made a good break and touched down for
the try that brought the scores level. The conversion pushed
them two points ahead and the scores were to stay like this.
At one point it appeared that Janey “Vacant” O’Dwyer had
been put through for Surrey but Reading simply had too
many players that had her covered.
At the final whistle it was decided that Nat was Woman
of the Match. Everyone played far too well for the much
coveted Wally of the Match to be awarded, but there’s
always next week…
If anyone is interested in joining women’s rugby, training is
every Monday at the Varsity from 6.30pm to 8.30pm, or drop
us an email at Surrey_Womens_Rugby@yahoogroups.com
Words: Helen Bateman
 sport
barefacts@ussu.co.uk | 05 Nov 04
sport 37
Ladies Squash
Continue Good Run Sports Profile
With a brilliant start 2 weeks ago when we beat Imperial
College 3-2, the Surrey Ladies Squash team continued their
good run. Having to play against LSE away in London at
the most Odd time of day, at 7pm, was NOT a good start at
all. First on courts were Vicky and Manda. Playing against
opponents who weren’t experienced at all wasn’t much of a
match for both of them.

Manda, gave her opponent a good thrashing, 9-0, 9-0, 9-0, and
Vicky, doing just as well, beat her opponent, 9-1, 9-4, 9-3. I
have to say though, Vicky’s opponent did try but seeing that she
hadn’t played much before and Vicky being the experienced
one, Vicky got the upper hand. Next on courts were Kirstie and
Name: Ben Palphrey
Maine. Maine’s opponent wasn’t very good either and Maine
Nicknames: Smokey Joe
won without much of a problem, apart from the time when she
Sports: Golf
got whacked by her opponent’s racquet. Winning in straight
sets as her two other team mates did, 9-2, 9-3, 9-2. Kirstie, on Best Aspect of Sport: Green Fields and the fresh air.
the other hand was up against an old-timer, who played against Spending quality time with the chaps.
Cat last year. Kirstie’s opponent, the LSE ladies captain, was
very quick on her feet had Kirstie running all around the court Worst Aspect of Sport: The 9th at Farnham. Itsreally
won in straight sets. hard and I’m always in the trees. Also everyone laughs
at my tartan trousers.
Finally, on court was Cat. Up against another very experienced
player, Cat did put up a good fight but her opponent was like Most Memorable Sporting Moment: Being the best
no other. Her shots were so accurate, hitting the wall just chipper at the Golf camp I spent my summer at.
above the tin, playing really good dummy shots (shots that
you don’t even know which way it was going) and shots all Worst Sporting Moment: Being the shortest hitter at
the way to the back of the court was too much for Cat and Golf Camp. And when it is really windy my hair gets
she had to concede in straight sets. The game, however, was messed up out on the green.
a really strange one to watch, and no offence to the girl, but
it seemed to us like we were watching Cat play against a guy Greatest Sporting Achievement: Knowing a true
as her opponent’s technique so much like a guy’s. All in all, Olympian, Mr Colin Roope
we came home feeling quite good as we had beaten LSE 3-2.
However, we might have to watch out for LSE next year as Where and when do we train?: The Golf Club train on
the 3 inexperienced players do have potential to do well. Well Tuesday Evenings at Surrey Golf & Fitness in New Haw,
done all of you!! Surrey.

Words: Shea-Maine Lim

Ladies Netball And A Naked Rugby Player

Sports Club has been running successfully at UniSPORT
now for over 5 years. Have you heard of Sports Club? What
is Sports Club I hear you ask?
Sports Club is a fun and interactive club for children with
disabilities. Children with all kinds of disabilities come
to the club, from wheelchair users to sufferers of autism.
They participate in a wide range of activities, including
trampolining, climbing and dance. The club is very friendly
and both parents and siblings often join in the fun and games
over the 2 hour sessions on Saturday mornings.
The club is run by a combination of UniSPORT staff
volunteers and volunteers from around the University (both
current and past students and staff). Everyone enjoys the
sessions immensely.
Dave Last, a long serving volunteer at the club said (with
a cheesy grin on his face!), ‘When you leave the gym you
feel good, when you leave Sports Club you feel great!’ Roly
Fletcher, another die hard sports club volunteer said, ‘There
is such a good social feeling to the club and volunteers. We
hold regular nights out and all head up to Chancellors for a
fry up after the club finishes on a Saturday morning’.
Sports Club is always needs more volunteers. So if you
are interested in joining the team please drop by the Sports
Centre and ask for Simon, Sally or Vicki. Alternatively call
01483 689975 or email s.hards@surrey.ac.uk. Sports Club
is an excellent way to really make a difference to the lives
of young disabled children.
Words Beth Clark-Wilson