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The Lord God said, "It is

not good for the man to
be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18
MARRIAGE
Jane Kibirige January 2018, Issue 69
Marriage, though instituted by God is perceived in many different ways. We caught up midst of a situation that is overwhelming, I go to her, not to seek advice, but for us
with Jane and had her share her thoughts on marriage and her experience as a married to pray together. And when I feel I have calmed down, I discuss the issue with my
woman. husband. The times I have used that approach, it has helped in resolving our
1. When does a relationship between a man and a woman constitute a marriage? conflicts; it has helped us not to have fights or quarrels out of those conflicts. I have
As a man and a woman relate, there comes a time when the man seriously suggests also realized that the kind of tone I use when talking to my husband is the kind of
that he would like to marry the woman. And when the woman says yes, they can tone he will use to talk back to me.
then go ahead and make preparations for the marriage.
In the Kiganda culture, the man is supposed to visit the girl’s home where she will
Nuggets from Jane
introduce him to her parents as the man who would like to be part of her life as her  To the unmarried women: Do not start living with someone
husband. Once the introduction (kwanjula) is done, culturally, they are married.
without being wedded in church. It is wrong. Many have been
Although, as Christians, we must go a step ahead and be joined in holy matrimony
through a church wedding. deceived and ended up frustrated when they have already
conceived and it’s too late to turn back. Wait upon God, pray and
2. What factors influenced your decision to get married?
ask God to bring you the right partner to propose to you. I
At the time, I thought I was of age because I was done with school and was working.
I had had this belief that after school marriage should automatically follow. But I did personally believe it is the man who should propose.
not get married immediately because I had been a Christian for many years and I
 To the unmarried men: Ask God to show you the right
knew I needed to get the right person the right way. There were many proposals but
I didn’t say yes to any of them as I took time off to pray and fast. There was even a person so that you can have your union started with a church
wedding.

Marriage gives you someone you

“
 To the married: Marriage is what you make it. If you want to
have battles in your marriage, you will have them because of
can grow with what you choose to do. If you want peace, you will have it
because of what you will do in your marriage. Always put God
time I and my late sister fasted for thirty days for the right husbands and after that
first in everything; do not take anything for granted.
we waited. After some time, Samuel came and proposed to me and for the first time
I felt it in my heart he was the right person for me as a marriage partner.
I also desired to have children and of course I knew I couldn’t get children outside of
marriage because it was against my faith.

3. Would you advise a single person who is living a comfortable life and able to
meet their needs to pursue a marriage relationship?
I really advise people to get married. From my own experience, it is worth being
there because first and foremost, it is godly. The Bible says that, “it is not good for
man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). So, however comfortable one may feel they are, as
long as God gives you the right partner, it is very good to get married. Otherwise, as
the years go by you will start feeling like you missed something.
Marriage gives you someone you can grow with spiritually, physically, and someone
you can share with your life. And as long as God is in your midst, you’ll be
comfortable with that person.

4. What would you say is the best way to resolve conflicts in a marriage
relationship?
Conflicts are inevitable in a marriage relationship. But personally, I have always
handled those that arise by not reacting to the situation immediately. I am grateful
to God for giving me special grace because whenever I do not react immediately, I
give it time and pray about it. Although when I had just got married, it was
different: I would burst out immediately and the conflict only got worse as we would
argue and argue over the issue causing the conflict, nonstop. But I learnt that when I
don’t react immediately and not shout back and instead give it time and pray about
it, the conflict is put to rest faster.
Also, I have a close friend who got married about the same time that I did. She has
been my friend and prayer partner for a long time. Whenever I find myself in the
Jane with her husband and their children
Jane is married to Pastor Samuel Elijah Kibirige.
With Samuel, they have been blessed with four children.
She is a secondary school teacher by profession and a full time home school
teacher of two of her children.
The KEY RING is a monthly publication by the Kampala Baptist Church Media Team
that seeks to provide an avenue where men and women can share knowledge and
understanding of the word of God, experiences and encourage one another as the
older perform the act of ‘paralambano’ to the younger.
Our prayer is that the Lord will speak to you through this publication.

Drop us an email at kbcmediateam@gmail.com | Visit the church website at www.kbcuganda.org