Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Austin Williams
Mrs.Delrio
Rough Draft
3/29/16
If you own a horse you probably already know that they are a very good animal, you may
look at them as a big dog with big beady eyes, or even a family member, so what would you do
if you found out that the horse population was in danger? Many horses in the United States are in
danger of losing the land that they graze on. In November of 2014, Robert Redford wrote an
article about the deteriorating love for horses throughout the United States. He used Many
logical statements, ethical standpoints, and a strong tone to support his facts for protecting wild
horse, although he had a very good article there's some things he could of done different.
Robert Redford wrote this article using logic, ethical, and emotional views. The first
sentence he states is that him and horses have shared existence, personal and professional for a
very long time. This is a very important statement because this will show the reader that he is
very passionate about what he is talking about, plus someone can not have that strong of a
relationship with just anything. After that, he tells the reader how disturbing the horses livelihood
will assault the American Principles. Redford also explains that the stand offs between Ranchers
and the Government about the land is all falling back on the horses and is creating an American
tragedy. These statements are very crucial to Redford's writing because it really pulls the reader
in from an ethical standpoint, also after reading these the reader will start to side with him.
Redford has a very strong view on this topic, the reader can see this with the opening of
this paragraph. He states that the horses in the United States only have 17% of the land that
BLM permitted them. This fact is important because it could really pull at the heartstrings of the
reader. Redford also says that if the right for horses to live freely continues to be aggravated then
that will assault the American Principles for them to live freely. This will really get the reader to
think about his side because this will show them how strongly he feels about this topic. Not only
that, but this will also show that Redford thinks of horses as humans. He then states the
“Ongoing persecution of wild horses and those that value them is unacceptable and threatens the
very spirit of the American West.” This may be the most important sentence in the article
because the west has a good history and impact on the United states today.
The author describes the argument very well, but not at the best of his ability. First,
Redford never sided with the opposing party. He also could have made his topic more clear, the
reader may be confused on what he is actually trying to get across. For example is he trying to
protect the horses land, or tell the reader about all the funds that are put into the land, but yet
nothing is being done. Finally, Redford may of persuaded more readers with more of an
emotional standpoint instead of just logic and what is ethically correct.
While using Redford's opinions, you now know what you could do to protect horses.
Robert Redford wrote a exceptional article on the lack of love the United states has for horses
and the small portions of land that we give them. The author’s purpose was to persuade the
readers to help protect the horses land that they graze on. Not only that, but he was also trying to
state the fact that horses are treated unfairly and that would be against america's principles. So,
this is a challenge to the reader to persuade people to protect the horses land.
Rubric
A B C D F
Categories
Clearly related
Related several Concept Concepts not
several Concepts do not
Ideas, 15% concepts to answered well related to
concepts to answer question
answer question question answer question
answer question
Varied &
purposeful
Reads smoothly, Awkward
Sentence beginnings, Repetitive,
Transitions phrasing,
Missing Flows, Some First Draft
Fluency, flow,Varied & disjointed,
transitions, awkward Quality
15% purposeful Tough to
constructed phrasing
beginnings read-a-loud
sentences
and/or variation