JOURNAL for the

SCIENTIFIC STUDY of RELIGION

Religious Experiences of GBTQ Mormon Males

WILLIAM S. BRADSHAW JOHN P. DEHLIN

Department of Microbiology and Molecular Biology Department of Psychology
Brigham Young University Utah State University

TIM B. HEATON RENEE V. GALLIHER

Department of Sociology Department of Psychology
Brigham Young University Utah State University

ELLEN DECOO KATHERINE A. CROWELL

Department of Sociology Department of Psychology
Brigham Young University Pacific Lutheran University

This article examines the relationship between sexual orientation and religious experience of men from early
adolescence to adulthood. Data have been obtained from an online survey of 1,042 males who were part of a
larger sample of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) persons who are current
or former members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, Mormon). While early religious
experience was essentially identical to that of heterosexuals, the gap between religious norms and experience
widened as these men moved through early and mid-adulthood. Those who married did so at a later age, and
experienced a high rate of divorce. Continued participation, integration, and conformity to LDS ideals was not
attributable to faith in, or a departure from, fundamental doctrinal belief. Instead, the responsible variable was
sexual orientation, measured by the Kinsey Scale scores across behavior, attraction, and identity. For those near
the exclusively homosexual end of the spectrum, the failure to change sexual orientation after intense effort over
many years resulted in loss of belonging, belief, and participation, along with increased negative emotions and a
sense of mistreatment.

Keywords: LDS, Mormon, GBTQ, homosexuality, religion.

INTRODUCTION

Most adults and many young people in the United States report that religion is important
in their lives; about 80 percent indicate a religious affiliation (Rosario et al. 2006). Continued
engagement becomes problematic for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning
(LGBTQ) persons, however, given Christianitys historical condemnation of homosexuality as a
sin (Schuck and Liddle 2001). It becomes important, then, to attempt to understand the long-term
consequences of the intersection between religious experience and sexual identity development
for nonheterosexual persons (Dahl and Galliher 2012).
This article examines the relationship between sexual orientation and religious experience
in a religious tradition, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, Mormon), that
views sexual relationships outside of marriage as sinful, has a history of condemning homosexual
behavior, and rejects the legitimacy of same-sex marriage. Our analysis contributes in two ways.
First, we use a life course perspective because the development of both sexual and religious identity
during adolescence and early adulthood has implications for subsequent marital and religious
experience. Second, we compare the religious experience of men along the continuum of sexual
orientation as measured by the Kinsey Scale in order to give a more complete understanding of
the impact of variation in sexual orientation.

Correspondence should be addressed to William Bradshaw, Department of Microbiology and Molecular Biology, Brigham
Young University, 2007 LSB, Provo, UT 84602. E-mail: groverclan@q.com
Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion (2015) 54(2):311329

C 2015 The Society for the Scientific Study of Religion
312 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

Figure 1
Chronology of the homosexual Mormon male

THE LDS CONTEXT

In general, the attitude of the LDS Church on matters of sexuality has closely paralleled
that of other conservative Christian denominations. A mid-20th-century publication by an LDS
General Authority unequivocally denounced both homosexual behavior and same-sex romantic
feelings (Kimball 1969). Negative institutional policies (ODonovan 1994) and recent statements
by some of its leaders (Hafen 2009; Packer 2010) foster an internal dissonance for the LGBTQ
Mormon between the reality of his or her sexual orientation and a deeply felt religious faith, and
likely play a continual role in eventual disengagement for many. This is due in large part to the
strong LDS focus, both internally and publicly, on heterosexual marriage, viewed doctrinally as
a prerequisite for the highest possibilities in the life to come.
However, the most recent institutional policy statements carefully distinguish between same-
sex attraction (SSA), which is not sinful, and homosexual behavior, which is sinful (Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints 2007). In addition, church president Hinckley reversed a
widespread earlier sentiment by stating that marriage was not to be recommended as a step to
cure SSA (Hinckley 1987). A video issued in 2012, while clearly maintaining the doctrine of
chastity before marriage (and the unacceptability of same-sex marriage), carries a softer tone and
greater spirit of inclusion for sexual minority individuals (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints n.d.).
The church has supported sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE). Suggestions for ecclesi-
astical leaders issued in 1992 emphasized homosexuality as a problem that can be controlled
and eventually overcome. The prescriptions included: teaching faith in Jesus Christ; repentance
and obedience; emphasizing the need to control thoughts and feelings; overcoming deviant prac-
tices; encouraging appropriate relationships; and obtaining professional assistance (Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints 1992). While not formally endorsing any particular therapeutic
approach for unwanted SSA (Oaks and Wickman 2006), the church has, until recently, supported
Evergreen International, a lay organization committed to helping people who want to diminish
SSAs and overcome homosexual behavior (Evergreen International has been subsumed by an-
other organization, North Star; see North Star n.d.). Unofficial publications directed at an LDS
audience have taken the position that homosexuality is harmful and changeable (Abbott and Byrd
2009; but see criticisms by Bradshaw 2011; Dahle et al. 2009), and offered testimonials to that
effect (Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists 2012; Eldridge 1994). but see
criticisms by Bradshaw 2011; Dehlin et al. (2014) conducted a thorough review of SOCE in the
LDS community.
The LDS case is compelling because prescribed steps in religious development roughly
correspond to stages of sexual identity formation. Figure 1 presents a chronology of the average
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 313

sexual history and SOCE of our respondents recorded against the background of the canonical
milestones in an LDS persons religious history. The latter include: baptism (formal entry into
church membership) at age 8, reception of the Aaronic Priesthood at age 12 (for males), and
2 years of missionary service beginning at age 19 for males and 21 for women (now 18 for
men and 19 for women). The time of marriage (an LDS temple rite) is not prescribed, but often
follows within a few years after return from a mission. The Figure 1 timeline exemplifies how
important religious devotion is in the lives of young Latter-Day Saints, confirming other studies
demonstrating that religion is salient in many aspects of Mormon life (Cornwall, Heaton, and
Young 1994). No other religion provides such a temporal metric for assessing at what point, and
why, homosexual males might experience a gap between their religious expectations and their life
experience. Nevertheless, it is hoped that the results of our analyses may be generally applicable
to those of other faiths.

LIFE COURSE AND RELIGION

Religious experience evolves during the life course. Several studies have found that the
changes individuals experience in their personal approach to religion and spirituality are complex
(Barry et al. 2010; Desmond, Morgan, and Kikuchi 2010), involving various dimensions of
religious experience including affiliation, organizational participation, practices and beliefs, and
commitment (Ingersoll-Dayton, Krause, and Morgan 2002). Individuals tend to become more
religious as they become older, but place emphasis on spirituality rather than attending church
services. Religious and spiritual experiences become privatized according to individual needs,
shaped by positive and negative events during the life course.
Adolescence is a particularly important period for development of religious identity. Many
young adults whose lives may be emotionally in flux seek to form a set of beliefs about religion
and spirituality that are distinctly their own (Arnett and Jensen 2002). Faith development occurs
through a process of making meaning out of personal life experiences (Fowler 1981), which may
be more important than how people understand their relationship to a church or deity.
While many young adults remain committed to a religious faith, many others reject organized
religion altogether (Arnett and Jensen 2002). They may combine elements of different religious
philosophies into an individualized faith deemed more purposeful (Smith and Denton 2005).
Behavior that does not conform to religious norms may also lead to change in religious attachment.
For example, 42 percent of Mormons who had stopped attending church reported a lifestyle as
no longer compatible with participation in the church (Cornwall 1989). Thus, some feel out of
place in a community that emphasizes conformity as they grow up in a pluralistic world (Arnett
and Jensen 2002). In short, as individuals move from adolescence to early adulthood, the gap
between religious tradition and individual experience widens. We anticipate that this widening
gap will be even more prominent among those who report stronger LGBTQ orientation.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND RELIGIOUS TRAJECTORIES

Sexuality and sexual orientation influence change in religious experience over the life course.
Because many religions reject homosexuality, gay individuals often lose the sense of belonging
(Sherkat 2002). The coming-out process is complicated by stigmatizing messages in church
(Higgins 2006; Lapinski and McKirnan 2013). LGBTQ individuals often find it difficult to
navigate their multiple identities within their religious context. For example, Ryan et al. (2009)
have provided compelling evidence of the negative impact on mental health outcomes in young
LGBTQ adults generated by earlier nonaccepting attitudes and behaviors of family members, this
rejection originating primarily in anti-gay religious doctrines.
The religious choices facing LGBTQ individuals are not limited to staying or leaving
(Pitt 2010). For example, Dehlin et al. (2015) have described both compartmentalization and
314 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

integration of sexuality and religion as options in the LDS gay community. Some gay men are
able to decrease religious dissonance by holding to a belief in God as a loving, nonjudgmental
individual (Kubicek et al. 2009). Sherkat (2002) found that the religious participation (church
attendance, prayer, etc.) of gay men was equal to that of heterosexual men, and greater than that
of lesbians or bisexual women.
Because young adolescents are in the early stages of reconciling sexual and religious identities
(Dahl and Galliher 2012), we do not expect to find a strong relationship between sexual orientation
and their religious experience. However, the process of integration becomes more complex as
LGBTQ individuals approach the normative age of marriage. Many conservative religions place
emphasis on heterosexual marriage and raising children (Higgins 2006; Lapinski and McKirnan
2013). Gay men who accept the view that homosexuality is a sin are less likely to view a
same-sex relationship as an option, even if they themselves have feelings of attraction toward
men (Herek 1994; Higgins 2006; Lapinski and McKirnan 2013). Thus, we expect that the gap
between religious expectations for marriage and individual behavior will widen as homosexuals
reach marriage age and some attempt to create a successful heterosexual partnership.
As sexual identity is solidified in adulthood, it may be even more difficult to conform to
religious expectations of religious communities that condemn homosexuality; orthodoxy and
commitment in adolescence do not automatically equate to lifelong loyalty. It has been reported
that LGBTQ individuals who were raised in a religious community that viewed homosexuality
negatively were more likely to report depression, suicidal thoughts, and shame regarding their
sexual identity, but independence from that community created a space in which to embrace ones
sexual orientation (Kubicek et al. 2009).
The process may be particularly difficult for men. Male adolescents who were raised in a
highly religious community that viewed homosexuality unfavorably struggled with their sex-
ual identities longer and experienced more internalized conflict than their female counterparts
(Rosario et al. 2006). It is possible that patriarchal religions (like the LDS Church) have a greater
influence on men than women, making it more difficult for homosexual men to balance sexual and
religious identity (Rosario et al. 2006; Sherkat 2002). We expect to find a relationship between
sexual orientation and several dimensions of experience, including integration in the religious
community, negative emotions, sense of mistreatment, and religious participation.

SOCE AS A MEANS OF MAINTAINING RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION

Among the personal strategies commonly used by gay men who successfully integrate
religious and sexual identities was complete self-acceptance, often aided by an acceptance of
the concept that God made them LGBTQ, the result of increased study of the Bible and others
religious texts (Dahl and Galliher 2012). Finding support from friends, family, and others in
their religious community was also helpful in this regard. Others have sought to apply religious
prescriptions in order to change sexual orientation (Tozer and Hayes 2004). Young LGBTQ
Mormons have been encouraged by their spiritual leaders to participate in church functions and
become deeply emerged in religious texts (Dahl and Galliher 2012; Dehlin et al. 2014). However,
efforts at changing sexual orientation by focusing on living a very religious life may have
negative consequences. Those who fail to alter their sexual orientation report being emotionally
and spiritually broken by the effort, their faith in God and their church diminished (Bradshaw et al.
2015; Dahl and Galliher 2012). In other religious circles, when counseled to pray the gay away,
many gay individuals reported that the lack of change caused them to question their personal
worthiness (Lapinski and McKiran 2013). Alteration of sexual orientation through reorientation
therapies is not empirically supported, and on the contrary may produce harmful outcomes (APA
Task Force 2009). We therefore explore the impact of SOCE on religious faith in our LDS sample.
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 315

THE EFFECT OF DIVERSITY IN SEXUAL ORIENTATION ON FAITH AND RELIGIOUS PARTICIPATION

The process of reconciling religious and sexual identities is not uniform across the sexual
orientation spectrum. Thus, the role of heterogeneity in orientation became an important variable
in our analyses. Driven by the internalized homophobia originating in religious teachings, some
gay men disavow a gay identity. Same-sex attracted men may identify themselves as bisexual
rather than gay passing as straight by doing what seems right, as in entering into a heterosexual
marriage (Matteson 1987). However, heterosexually married men who score high on the Kinsey
sexual orientation scale and who identify as exclusively gay, reported higher levels of stress than
men who identified as bisexual, attributable to the ensuing cognitive dissonance (Hernandez,
Schwenke, and Wilson 2011). On the other hand, men who identified as bisexual were somewhat
less likely to divorce and had lower levels of stress, yet also reported feelings of conflicted
identities and a sense of loss (Buxton 2000; Hernandez, Schwenke, and Wilson 2011).
More generally, individuals who identify as bisexual could see themselves as having a chance
at living a religiously validated heterosexual life. The strategy may be to attempt to repress ones
SSAs and romantically pursue a person of the opposite sex. By being able to balance sexuality
and religion, and on some levels being able to conceal homosexual feelings, bisexual individuals
could experience lower levels of cognitive dissonance regarding their religious lives.
This study will examine religious experience of Mormon men beginning in adolescence.
We focus on the following questions. First, does the gap between religious expectations and
conformity widen as men move through adolescence and early adulthood? Second, does early
religious experience shape subsequent religious identity and behavior? Third, does reliance on
the solutions provided by the church help maintain religious identity? Finally, how do answers to
1, 2, and 3 vary along the Kinsey Scale continuum?

METHODS

Data Collection and Recruitment

LGBTQ individuals who are current or former members of the LDS Church were recruited
through a widely advertised invitation to answer an online survey. The data were collected from
July 12 to September 29, 2011. The study was featured in online and print media, including an
article by the Associated Press. Twenty-one percent of participants were contacted through these
sources, and an equal number from LGBTQ LDS support organizations (Affirmation, Northstar,
etc.). Forty-seven percent learned of the study through email, word of mouth, or some form of
social media.
Convenience sampling, as described above, was chosen as the method most capable of
reaching the widest group of potential participants, both those currently active in, and those who
have dissociated from, the LDS Church. Although this design restricts our ability to generalize
findings to the entire target population, we did achieve a significant response, one that would not
have been possible through other methodologies. A sampling frame that would allow random
sampling is not publicly available. The LDS Church does not make membership lists available
for research and there is not a representative sample of the LGBTQ community. Individuals who
are less involved in LGBTQ social networks are probably underrepresented in this survey. As
analysis will show, however, the survey did elicit responses from a wide range of respondents,
allowing us to examine the relationship between sexual orientation and religious experience.
The instrument consisted of 149 questions dealing with demographics, sexual orientation,
and gender identity, history of sexual identity development, psychosocial measures of well-being,
interventions engaged in to understand, change, or accept a nonheterosexual orientation, and
descriptions of religious practice and belief. In addition, the survey contained frequent invitations
316 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

to provide open-ended narratives that might clarify the responses to these quantitative items.
The examples of qualitative comments found below were drawn from this source. Persons under
18 years of age, or who failed to complete a sufficient number of items, or who indicated no
homosexual attraction were eliminated, leaving 1,612 total respondents.

Participants

Men represented 76 percent of the total sample. All were nonheterosexual based on the totality
of their survey responses, even though some self-identified as heterosexual (4.9 percent) or same-
sex attracted (1.7 percent) as alternatives to GBTQ. Reference to sexuality or sexual orientation
hereafter are made in the context of this population. Respondents came from 48 states and 21
countries outside of the United States. Most (93.9 percent) identified as white/Caucasian, and
63.7 percent were college graduates (97.2 percent with some college education). They reported
the following as a relationship status: single (40.8 percent), married or committed heterosexually
(16.9 percent), unmarried same-sex partners (22.7 percent), same-sex married, civil unions, or
domestic partners (12.6 percent), and divorced, separated, or widowed (5.8 percent). The current
study reports data obtained from male respondents only. Focus on males is justified because we
have normative markers of religious experience (Aaronic Priesthood leadership and missionary
service) for men and because the relationship between religious experience and sexual orientation
is different for men and women. An analysis of comparable data for our female respondents
will be reported separately. Disfellowshipped and excommunicated individuals (10.5 percent)
were eliminated from consideration, on the basis of their having been subject to official church
sanctions, which may have impacted their responses. These restrictions reduced the sample to
1,042.

Measures

Measures include four dichotomous markers of normative LDS religious experience (lead-
ership in an Aaronic Priesthood quorum, mission, marriage, divorce). Respondents were asked
about their beliefs and orthodoxy before and after acknowledging SSA. Belief is measured with
four dichotomous variables (in the existence of God, in Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world,
in Joseph Smith (the founder of Mormonism) as a prophet of God, in The Book of Mormon
as scripture; Cronbachs alpha = .853 before and .893 after), and orthodoxy is measured on a
5-point scale (orthodox/conservative to unorthodox/less rigid). Sexuality is measured by three
questions (behavior, attraction, and identity on a Kinsey-like scale from 0, exclusively opposite
sex, to 6, exclusively same sex, with 7 indicating asexual (Cronbachs alpha = .824)). Although
the Kinsey Scale has been criticized (Masters 1966; Sell 1997), the most recent research indicates
that a linear scale does capture most of the variation of a range of sexual experiences, is highly
correlated with other valid indicators of sexual diversity, and demonstrates that sexual orientation
is a continuously distributed (not categorical) characteristic (Savin-Williams 2014). For bivariate
analysis and statistical procedures that do not adjust for measurement error we use the Kinsey
behavior scale to measure sexual orientation because it allows for a concrete interpretation of
results and because the behavior score has the strongest correlation with outcomes of interest.
In the structural equation model that does adjust for measurement error, we use all three Kinsey
Scales to measure effects that do take measurement error into account. Current attitudes include:
r Church integration, measured by four dichotomous items (committed/supportive, alienated,
alienated due to homosexuality-related LDS policies, alienated due to attitudes of church
members); Cronbachs alpha = .862.
r Negative emotions toward the church, measured by four dichotomous items (hurt/damaged,
mistrusting, disappointed, sorrowful); Cronbachs alpha = .734.
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 317

r Mistreatment, measured by two dichotomous items (by local church members, by local church
leaders); Cronbachs alpha = .719.
r Current church activity (on an index from 0 = none to 5 = high-ranking service calling).

High intensity SOCE (beneficial, harmful, both) was assessed from written statements
reporting fervent, multiple modes of personal righteousness (prayer, scripture reading, temple
attendance, church service, etc.) exercised for that purpose.
We used a mixed methods approach to provide complementarity (Yauch and Steudel 2003).
Quotes from open-ended questions are used to provide examples of the patterns we find in the
quantitative responses as stated in the language of the respondents. Our primary source of data is
the quantitative responses, and open-ended responses are the secondary source (Creswell 2003).
Each quote is accompanied by the following information: age, marital status, self-reported sexual
orientation, and Kinsey Scale scores for behavior, attraction, and identity.

Analytic Strategy

Multivariate models are estimated to show the relationship between sexual orientation, prior
religious experience, and religious experience at different points in the life course. Markers of
religious experience include religious attitudes in adolescence, Aaronic Priesthood leadership,
going on a mission, marriage, divorce, attempt to change orientation, religious attitudes at the time
of the survey, and church activity at the time of the survey. A variety of statistical procedures are
used depending on the distribution of the dependent variables. Logistic regression is appropriate
if the outcome of interest is dichotomous (i.e., holding a leadership position, serving a mission,
or getting divorced). The effort to change (orientation) variable has three possible outcomes (no
reported result, harmful result, and helpful result) so multinomial regression is appropriate. Cox
regression is more appropriate for outcomes that have a time dimension, such as age at marriage,
especially because people who have never married can be included in the analysis. In the final
model that includes several interrelated variables, some of which have multiple indicators, we
use structural equation models that have the advantage of accounting for measurement error and
estimating each aspect of the model simultaneously.

RESULTS

Table 1 reports average values for markers of normative progress through LDS participation
and religious belief along the Kinsey behavior score continuum. For descriptive purposes, we
include those who reported being asexual (score = 7), but this last group was not included in
multivariate analysis because of its ambiguity on an ordinal scale.1 A substantial majority of
respondents to this survey served in an official priesthood leadership capacity during adoles-
cence (ages 1218) and most served missions for the church. Marriage was much less common,
especially for those scoring higher on the Kinsey Scale. A large majority also stated that they
accepted major tenets of the LDS faith, including belief in God, Jesus Christ, the founder of the
Mormon faith (Joseph Smith), and The Book of Mormon. Beliefs during adolescence were not
differentiated by sexual orientation.
Table 2 reports the relationship between sexual orientation (Kinsey behavior) and each marker
of normative progress, taking into account adolescent orthodoxy and prior markers. Those who
reported being more conservative on the orthodoxy scale were more likely to hold a youth
priesthood leadership position. The odds of being a youth leader increased by 37 percent for

1 Multivariate analysis was repeated including this group and results were virtually identical to those reported in the text.
 318

Table 1: Religious experience and beliefs

Beliefs before acknowledging same-sex attraction

Kinsey Aaronic Belief in Belief in Belief in

behavior Priesthood Orthodoxy Belief in Jesus Joseph Book of
score N leader Mission Married scale (05) God Christ Smith Mormon Age
0 83 .73 .84 .57 1.78 .89 .87 .86 .87 35.9
1 71 .79 .90 .66 1.48 .96 .93 .92 .89 39.4
2 60 .75 .90 .88 1.33 .97 .92 .87 .88 44.7
3 30 .67 .77 .57 2.00 .90 .83 .77 .77 37.2
4 53 .79 .74 .47 1.68 .89 .85 .77 .77 38.2
5 224 .78 .67 .19 1.45 .97 .92 .85 .84 36.7
6 453 .74 .70 .09 1.51 .96 .91 .81 .82 36.0
7 32 .81 .78 .13 1.31 .87 .78 .78 .78 32.4
Total 1,006 .76 .74 .28 1.52 .95 .90 .83 .83 37.0
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RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 319

Table 2: Models predicting religious experience and marriage

Aaronic
Priesthood Marriage Divorce
leadership Mission rate (among ever married)
(odds ratio) (odds ratio) (marriage rate) (odds ratio)
Kinsey score .998 .793* .67* 2.46*
Orthodoxy (before) 1.37* 1.87* 1.02 1.03
Priesthood leadership 1.64* 1.01 1.08
Mission 2.97* .09*
Age 1.02*

Note: * p < .05.

Figure 2
Life table estimates, proportion still single

each standard deviation increase in orthodoxy. When orthodoxy was taken into account there
was no association between sexual orientation and youth leadership experience. By the time
these respondents reached late adolescence, however, those scoring higher on the Kinsey Scale
were somewhat less likely to continue the normative path by serving a mission. After taking into
account orthodoxy and youth leadership experience, each one-unit increase in the Kinsey Scale
was associated with a 20 percent reduction in the likelihood of serving a mission. The impact of
sexual orientation on marriage was even greater. Finally, returned missionaries were about three
times more likely to marry than those who did not serve a mission.
We give some attention to divorce because some gays were encouraged to marry as a potential
means of dealing with sexual orientation. It is interesting to note that older respondents had a
320 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

Figure 3
Percent of the ever married who have divorced

higher marriage rate than younger respondents, perhaps because encouragement of marriage is
less common than in the past (Hinckley 1987). Although a majority of people scoring high on the
Kinsey Scale did not marry, those who did had a much higher risk of divorce. The likelihood of
divorce increased threefold with each one-point increase on the Kinsey Scale. However, returned
missionaries were much less likely to divorce than those who did not serve a mission.
The complex relationships between sexual orientation, missionary service, marriage, and
divorce are further illustrated in Figures 2 and 3. Figure 2 shows life table estimates of the
proportion of respondents who were still single as they aged, differentiated by missionary service
and sexual orientation. Men began to marry in their early 20s. Most of the returned missionaries
who score low on the Kinsey Scale were married by their mid-30s. Marriage was much less
common for other groups. Only about 40 percent of the nonmissionaries who score low on the
Kinsey Scale were married and the odds were even lower for those who score high on the Kinsey
Scale. Even among those with high Kinsey scores, returned missionaries were more likely to
marry than nonmissionaries.
Divorce experience is shown in Figure 3. Not only were returned missionaries scoring low
on the Kinsey Scale much more likely to marry, they were also much less likely to divorce
fewer than 20 percent had divorced at the time of the survey. In contrast, nonmissionaries had a
much greater risk of divorceover 60 percent when the survey was taken. Missionary service
may prepare some to accommodate heterosexual marriage even when their sexual orientation
is not completely straight. However, for those who score high on the Kinsey Scale and marry,
missionary service did not protect against divorce. Nearly all of the nonmissionaries who score
high on the Kinsey Scale and who marry ended their marriages.
The standard advice Mormons who face challenges in life receive is to pray, study the
scriptures, and seek council from ecclesiastical leaders. Twenty-five percent of the sample reported
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 321

Figure 4
Consequences of sexual orientation change efforts

Table 3: Effects on coping with change: multinomial regression

Helpful Harmful
Kinsey behavior .066 .149*
Aaronic leadership .105 .294
Mission .229 .408
Orthodoxy (before) .614 .409*
Intercept 3.030 2.589

Note: * p < .05.

that they made repeated, strenuous (high intensity) religiously recommended steps in their private
lives in order to cope with their sexual orientation. Four percent said these efforts were helpful and
20 percent said they were harmful. One percent reported both positive and negative effects. Figure
4 and statistical analysis in Table 3, including controls for prior religious experience, indicate that
there was a minimal relationship between sexual orientation and the sense that religious efforts
to cope were helpful. In contrast, people who score higher on the Kinsey Scale were more likely
to report that these efforts were harmful in some way. Consider these accounts:

Around age 12, I became so depressed due to feelings of being different that I began praying to get cancer in
order to end my life. Eventually, as I began to understand the reasons I felt different from other kids my age, I
began to pray that those feelings of Same Sex Attraction would go away. I spent a lot of time praying, fasting, and
reading scriptures. Nothing seemed to help. In fact, the more I pushed the feelings away, the more conscious I was
of having them and the more they raged within me. I hated myself for being so weak. I hated God for allowing
me to suffer so much. I believed God hated me and had cursed me with this affliction as punishment for some
pre-existence crime I wasnt aware of. [age 26, same-sex partner, gay, (5,5,6)]
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Table 4: Structural equation models predicting current attitudes, feelings, and beliefs: total sample
(standardized coefficients)

Negative
Orthodoxy Integration emotions Mistreatment Activity
Orthodoxy before .205* .071* .051 .001 .018
Sexual orientation .233* .464* .285* .185* .420*
Aaronic leadership .059 .018 .070 .070 .039
Mission .158* .127* .088* .133* .218*
SOCE helpful .105* .117* .104* .054 .109*
SOCE harmful .101* .088* .108* .053 .065*

I spent nearly a decade of my life trying to get god to change my orientation, to save me from being homosexual,
to make me normal: fasting, prayer, scripture reading. I felt like a failure constantly; was near suicide at age 17
and again at age 22. [age 41, single, gay, (6,5,6)]

By attempting to change who I am through faithfulness/obedience created an environment that bred self-hatred,
shame, deep depression, hopelessness, and guilt. Nothing seemed to change despite my efforts, so I could
only blame myself. This also starts from the premise that theres something wrong with me because I was
taught that these feelings are wrong. So I was hiding my true self from everyone, thats what we learn to do in
Mormonismappear to be perfect. [age 40, married, bisexual, (0,4,1)]

Using prior religious experience to predict these helpful or harmful outcomes indicates that
those who score lower on the Kinsey Scale, who held youth leadership positions, who served a
mission, and who were more orthodox found these efforts to be more helpful (relative to no effect),
but none of the coefficients were statistically significant. On the other hand, higher scores on the
Kinsey Scale and on orthodoxy were associated with more harmful outcomes and coefficients
were statistically significant. Reporting a harmful outcome was also slightly higher for returned
missionaries and Aaronic Priesthood leaders. In other words, religious efforts had more negative
consequences for those with more involvement in the church and higher Kinsey scores.
Beliefs, feelings, and attitudes of respondents at the time of the survey are explored in
Table 4. We used structural equation models to explain the outcomes. This statistical approach
allows for multiple measures of each variable to be included in the model; it also allows us to
examine correlations between each of the outcomes. Ignoring these correlations would create
biased results. Independent variables included markers of normative progress discussed above.
Outcomes included an orthodoxy scale, integration into church activity, negative emotions, and
mistreatment. Examples of these last three parameters are provided by the quotations in Figure 5,
presented in pairs that further illustrate the difference in perspective between those with divergent
Kinsey scores.
Activity was measured by self-reported activity and a score based on church calling ranging
from 0 for no position to 5 for higher-ranking lay positions in the church. Analysis allowed
us to use sexual orientation as a construct that was indicated by answers to each of the three
dimensions of sexualityidentity, behavior, and attitude. Standardized coefficients showed how
many standard deviations each outcome was expected to change if the independent variables
changed by one standard deviation. Several interesting patterns deserve note.
There was some continuity in orthodoxy from adolescence to the time of the survey, but
early orthodoxy did not have a strong relationship with other outcomes in the multivariate model.
Strength of belief while growing up was not very predictive of current feelings and activity.
Holding a leadership position as a youth had very weak relationships with each of the indicators
included here when other factors were taken into account. Returned missionaries were more
orthodox, more integrated, and were less inclined to report negative emotions or mistreatment.
They were also more active in the organization. Those who reported helpful outcomes were
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 323

Figure 5
Differences in perspectives across Kinsey scores
Integration:

I am totally committed to being a worthy member of the church and I believe it is

true. [age 27, married, bisexual, (1,3,4)]

Ive emotionally detached myself from the Church some. I do enjoy being there, but

I feel so fundamentally different due to same-sex attraction. [34, married, bisexual,

(0,5,5)

Mistreatment:

More and more, LDS leaders are more loving and compassionate of me and others

like me. [age 51, married, bisexual (1,4,2)]

I feel like there was nothing done by anyone to try and alleviate any pain that anyone

who dealt with this issue was eventually going to feel. I had to go inactive because of

the amount of vitriol that was tossed at gays during church meetings, even in the

halls. [age 24, single, gay (0,5,5)]

Negative Emotions:

One of the great blessings of my life. It is an anchor of strength and a boon of

comfort. [age 30, married, heterosexual, (4,0,2)]

I go to church. I feel the spirit. I'm mostly committed to being in it. But every week

there's something that's emotional painful. I mistrust how the church tries to make me

fit into the heterosexual paradigm. [age 28, separated, gay (1,5,6)]

slightly more integrated and active, had fewer negative feelings, and were also a little more
orthodox. Sexual orientation had by far the greatest association with each of the outcomes
considered here. Stronger homosexual orientation was associated with lower orthodoxy, stronger
negative feelings, and a greater sense of being mistreated. But by far the largest influences in the
model occur because same-sex orientation had strong negative relationships with integration and
activity. Regardless of prior belief and religious experience, gays were much more likely to drop
out and feel unattached to the LDS Church.
To compare these patterns by sexual orientation, we divided the sample into respondents
in the bisexual range of the Kinsey behavior scale (3) and the homosexual range (4). These
comparisons are presented in Table 5. Both groups show continuity in orthodoxy but this tendency
is somewhat stronger in the bisexual sample. Adolescent orthodoxy does not influence other
outcomes in either group. Youth leadership experience is not closely related to the outcomes for
either sample. Variation in sexual orientation at the lower end of the Kinsey Scale is only weakly
associated with measures of belief, feelings, and activities. Declines in belief, integration, and
activity, and increasing negative emotions, are most evident at the high end of the Kinsey score.
Those in the lower ranges are more able to accommodate to the LDS community. The two major
outcomes associated with missionary service are integration and activity, but this association is
much weaker for those with higher Kinsey scores. As we noted with marital stability, stronger
324 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

Table 5: Structural equation models predicting current attitudes, feelings, and beliefs: sample
divided by sexual orientation (standardized coefficients)

Negative
Orthodoxy Integration emotions Mistreatment Activity
Kinsey behavior score 3 (bisexual)
Orthodoxy before .295* .097 .013 .010 .026
Sexual orientation .101 .034 .101 .089 .142
Aaronic leadership .003 .018 .059 -.008 .108
Mission .099 .238* .091 .125 .334*
SOCE helpful .075 .100 .060 .053 .076
SOCE harmful .142* .146* .163* .053 .127
Kinsey behavior score >3 (homosexual)
Orthodoxy before .182* .062 .074 .003 .031
Sexual orientation .254* .508* .210* .218* .397*
Aaronic leadership .080* .046 .073 .099 .032
Mission .160* .084* .085 .123* .158*
SOCE helpful .112* .124* .125* .055 .128*
SOCE harmful .089* .073 .097* .053 .038

Note: * p < .05.

same-sex orientation makes it very difficult for former missionaries to retain a sense of belonging
and activity in the LDS Church. The consequences of efforts to change that were either harmful
or helpful are generally similar in the two subgroups of the sample.

DISCUSSION

A Chronology of the GBTQ Mormon Male

The evidence clearly suggests that GBTQ men in our sample were following the normative
path of religious participation in early adolescence in a fashion indistinguishable from hetero-
sexual men. Moreover, their written narratives indicate that many were, in fact, in the blue
ribbon contingents of their age groupsthose noted for exceptional religious performancethe
ones most likely to meet the expectations of their parents and church leaders for future personal
achievement and institutional leadership. For example:

I tried to make up for the feelings I had by doing everything else perfectly. I would commit to things and do
everything I possibly could to gain approval from church leaders and members. The result was that I was the
golden boy that everyone wished they had for a son. But no matter how much I did, it was never enough. I
advanced in the priesthood, went through the temple, went on a mission, went to BYU, always with the idea that
if I just proved my willingness to obey, God would cure me. He never did. Meanwhile, I never really felt like God
could love me or that he would bless me until I stopped having the feelings I did. At the same time, I was too
ashamed to talk to anyone about my feelings. I hated myself. [age 25, same-sex partner, gay, (5,6,6)]

In sharp contrast to a conventional wisdom that envisions gay people as perverse, profligate,
and promiscuous, our data demonstrate that they were obedient and faithful. These early earmarks
of religiosity, however, were not predictive of subsequent degrees of church affiliation. While
many entered missionary service with the expectation that this act of compliance would merit an
alteration of their romantic feelings, the reality was that their SSA remained unchanged (Bradshaw
et al. 2015).
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 325

During this same period of active church participation GBTQ LDS men were also internally
processing their same-sex orientation, beginning with an initial average awareness at age 9, and
culminating with acceptance of a gay identity at age 22. At the same time, these individuals were
engaging in private efforts to cope with what they perceived to be an unacceptable sexual state,
through spiritual (personal righteousness, initiated on average at about 17) and intellectual
(individual effort, initiated on average at 19) means (Figure 1).
A subgroup we have identified as pursuing High Intensity SOCE (about 25 percent of the
total) initiated these two personal interventions 2 years earlier (age 15 on average) and continued
those efforts up through age 29. The following narrative describes the experience of one such
individual in his private religious efforts to become straight. It accurately portrays how, within
the LDS framework, one would proceed in order to merit a divine blessing.

From the time I realized I was attracted to men until I was 27, I tried my best to change it. I prayed, fasted, read
scriptures, went to church, went to the temple, lived a very religious life, etc., all in an attempt to be straight. No
matter how hard I tried and concentrated on it, I could not make myself straight. It was severely disappointing
on every level all the time. I always felt like I could never quite figure it out or make it happen. I felt God was
disappointed with me. I also felt that the church and the people in my life would likewise be disappointed if they
knew. I did not want to be gay. I hated that I felt the way I did. But it would not go away. I guess if you look at it,
I was able to hide it and not act upon it for a very long time. The church may view that as a success, but I dont
any longer. Its stupid to deny who you are and lie to yourself and everyone you know. In my opinion, its harmful
to live in such a state of denial and lies. You never can have a self-worth when no one (including yourself) really
even know who you are. Being active LDS and gay at the same time are the equivalent of self-hatred. [age 34,
same-sex partner, gay, (4,5,5)]

The stories of those in this group are remarkably consistent, both with respect to the religious
behaviors in which they engaged in an effort to alter their orientation, and the negative impact both
on their individual self-worth and their relationship to deity, when the sought-for change was not
forthcoming. Clearly, the increasing distance some came to feel toward the church subsequently
cannot be explained by an initial lack of faith or religious devotion. Instead, it appears to be best
understood in terms of the nature of their essentially exclusive attraction to persons of the same
sex (average Kinsey Scale attraction score of 5.4).
In their late teens and early 20s, often following missionary service, these men pursued
the personal and private SOCE described above (Figure 1), and encountered strong cultural
pressure to marry. The decision to marry was often delayed; the average age at marriage was
28.7. Moreover, the subsequent rate of divorce was high, approximately 90 percent for those with
high Kinsey scores.
We conclude, then, that the gap between religious expectations and conformity does widen
for GBTQ Mormon men. That departure appears to commence significantly past adolescence
for many, due in part to the highly structured trajectory the church programs for those who are
devout. Early religious experience does shape subsequent religious identity (the positive impact
of missionary service is an example), but the failure to effect a change in orientation against the
background of constant anti-gay sentiments can eventually lead to irreconcilable conflict.

Kinsey Scale Score Is the Best Correlate of Continued Engagement in the Church

The collective evidence strongly supports the conclusion that the ability of a GBTQ male
to remain an active, participating Latter-Day Saint depends primarily on the relative strength
of his same-sex orientation, as measured by his position on the Kinsey Scale. An alternative
view is that increased religious devotion is the key to continuing church commitment. This
opinion has accompanied a recent shift in attitude among some GBTQ Mormons that fosters
open acknowledgment of SSA, continues to emphasize some form of reparative change effort,
326 JOURNAL FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF RELIGION

deprecates empirical science, and promotes examples of mixed-orientation marriage or celibacy

as successful life choices, all in the context of greater religious faith:

Affirming the importance of faith and testimony in response to same-gender attraction is not to endorse a shallow
pray the gay away approach. What it does mean, however, is that even as we fully and humbly acknowledge all
the complexities of our humanity and of life in a fallen world, we must bring those complexities to the altar of
God, seek His guidance, and willingly surrender our entire hearts to Him and His work and glory [see Moses 1:39
(a citation from the Pearl of Great Price)]. Again, resources that help individuals explore the human dynamics
of homosexuality are useful to many, but I believe that they are secondary to the spiritual capacities we cultivate
as we surrender our hearts and lives to the Lord . . . . The call of Christ is to become holy before it is to become
heterosexual. (Mansfield 2011)

Our data, however, do not support such solutions for maintaining religious identity. The
religious activity of our respondents was remarkably high, judged against LDS norms, at least up
to and including missionary service. They met the requirements for faith and service deemed nec-
essary within the LDS paradigm for receiving divine help in coping with their sexual orientation.
Those whose histories included the most intense private SOCE exhibited very high Kinsey scores;
at an early age they probably determined that an accommodation of their existing orientation to
LDS expectations would likely be difficult. Our analyses, moreover, demonstrate that adolescent
orthodoxy, strength of belief, and service in a youth leadership position were not predictive of
future engagement.
There is strong evidence that biological processes govern the development of sexual orienta-
tion (LeVay 2011), and there are compelling epigenetic models that explain the likely molecular
mechanisms involved (Ngun and Vilain 2014; Rice, Friberg, and Gavrilets 2012). This leads to an
important prediction: no matter how many LGBTQ persons dissociate from the church, the num-
ber of such individuals who appear in subsequent generations will be unchanged. Quantitatively,
the percentage of gay Mormons able to remain believing and integrated in their membership is
likely to be constant over time, driven, as the evidence suggests, by inherent biological mecha-
nisms and not by religiosity.
Bisexuals are more likely to accommodate norms of acceptable religious behavior than
exclusively gay men. It is instructive to imagine how this difference might play out for young
adult LDS males. Consider a social setting, such as a school classroom, a sporting event, or a
dance. For the gay man (Kinsey score 5+), those receiving his erotic attention are exclusively
male. In contrast, the bisexual observer (Kinsey score <4) may also be attracted to some women
in the group, and this difference may have profound consequences. Perhaps, he supposes, theres
a chance to establish a persistent attraction for a woman. Perhaps theres hope for a heterosexual
marriage, a door though which to find acceptance in the LDS community. This kind of empathetic
exercise suggests that the gap between those occupying different numerical categories on the
Kinsey Scale can be very large. This also suggests that a person on the gay end of the scale and
one in the middle may have great difficulty in communicating with one another, their individual life
experiences being radically dissimilar in some very important respects. A key to the realization
of empathy, both within and outside of the LGBTQ community, may be the recognition of
this sexual diversity among individuals, the validity of a plurality of homosexualities (Savin-
Williams 2014).
Several lines of evidence negate the possibility that Kinsey Scale scores in the bisexual range
for some of our respondents are the result of, rather than permissive of, strong church participation
and commitment. A large body of data has confirmed the immutability of sexual orientation in
the population at large (APA Task Force 2009; Beckstead 2012), and in the LDS community
in particular (Bradshaw et al. 2015). As documented above, faithful adherence to LDS norms
characterizes homosexual males up through and including missionary services. In addition, the
lack of correlation (r = .07 to .05) between Kinsey scores and age in our participants suggests
that the former are not changing through time.
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES OF GBTQ MORMON MALES 327

Limitations and Implications

Given the use of convenience sampling, our findings are not necessarily generalizable to
GBTQ Mormons at large. Our sample likely overrepresents Caucasians, U.S. residents, and
those with higher education and income levels. In addition, retrospective data are subject to the
possibility that memory about prior experience may be shaped by current experience.
We submit that our findings are generally applicable beyond the LDS context. Although
some features of their religious development are unique, GBTQ Mormons share with those from
other highly conservative faiths exposure to the same type of negative messaging and prescriptive
doctrinal solutions for dealing with their nonheterosexuality. Because of the resulting conflict,
disengagement from religion is the common outcome for many. As we have shown, the degree
of ones SSA is likely to be the most relevant consideration for mediating continued religious
affiliation and participation.
These insights are likely to be of general interest given the greater awareness and acceptance
of homosexuality in society at large. The results of recent surveys suggest a movement toward
accommodation and approval, especially among younger generations, both with respect to legal
issues and at the level of personal relationships (Pew Research Center 2013). Another example
is the recent statement of Pope Francis: Who am I to judge them if theyre seeking the Lord in
good faith? (Allen 2013).
There are also indications of a recent shift in attitude toward homosexuality in the LDS
church. A softened tone and language suggesting greater inclusiveness are evident in a video
on the subject released in 2012 (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints n.d.). Absent,
however, is an admission of the wealth of scientific evidence on the interrelated questions of
cause (demonstrating a biological, not social origin) and change (demonstrating immutability).
It would also be helpful to accept, as the present study illustrates, the heterogeneity in romantic
capacity among sexual minority personsgay men are not all the same. It must be acknowledged,
for example, that relatively few gay persons are constitutionally capable of genuinely fulfilling
the physical, emotional, and spiritual demands of opposite-sex marriage. Moreover, as we have
also shown, appeals to greater faith and religious devotion (as the route for maintaining church
affiliation) are unlikely to succeed for those individuals whose options are ultimately constrained
by the inherent, strongly same-sex nature of their orientation.

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